diaper dimension Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)

[Gentle Gemma]

*slaps inner elbow*  ahhh that's some good Jamie Bear! 

[Sarah Penguin]

[littleTomás]

Jamie Bear is back! Jamie is now going apartment shopping for the first time in years and he clearly enjoys it a lot more than clothes shopping.

[Sarah Penguin]

Then they'll sneack him off to have the snazziest bear clothes andaccessories evers wifs satellite tracker collars and GPS thingity earrings for there's my bearbear tracking just like back home!

[WBDaddy]

3 hours ago, littleTomás said:

Jamie Bear is back! Jamie is now going apartment shopping for the first time in years and he clearly enjoys it a lot more than clothes shopping.

Can't say I blame him, considering the clothing choices available to people his size.  Though I'm a bit disappointed there hasn't been any further exploration of his sudden interest in androgynous clothing... 

[Jayme]

Goo tonsee you back, hopefully your vacation was relaxing.

Jamie bear is doing his best to hide the money concerns he has from Amanda and Mom, this may not work well...

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 41

 

 

“When’s the last time you wore a collared shirt,” Amanda asked as she got Jamie dressed in the new polo shirt Becky bought him.

“Christmas probably,” he replied as she she pulled it over his head.

“Your belly looks almost all better.”

“Almost. How did you convince Mom to not be here for this?”

“I told her it would ruin my cool factor if my mom was around to meet my cohort.”

“But it wouldn’t ruin it if I was here?”

“This barbecue was your idea.”

Jamie was having second thoughts. “I’m just a little. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time.”

“You love trotting that excuse out when it suits you, you naughty bear.” She lifted him on to her hip and carried him to the dining room.

“Mel is coming,” Jamie asked.

“Yep. I asked her to co-host.”

“Good.”

“You’ve been awfully clingy with her lately.”

“I just ...”

“Tell me,” Manda said, urging him with a pat to his butt.

“She’s gonna find a job, and then we won’t get to hang out as much. That’s how it works. She won’t be around in the middle of the day anymore.”

Amanda knew he was right, though she hadn’t put much thought to it. To her, it seemed like the natural progression of life, exciting and fresh. To Jamie, it was change, and he didn’t want things to change. So much was changing already.

“I know, Baby Bear. I know.” Feeling like there was nothing she could do to make that better, she changed the subject. “You wanna go play outside?”

“Mhmm,” he said. She lowered him to the floor, and he toddled off to the sandbox. He’d been working on a new castle, and he resumed his efforts. He was getting pretty good at sculpting sand castles. It didn’t quite take his mind off the party, though. It had been his idea, if an ill-considered one. When he’d gone to that lecture, he wanted to help Amanda get off on the right foot with her fellow students, but they’d been so forward. Those that didn’t appear to want to study him had acted so strangely, like he was a precious artifact.

He knew unregressed littles were a rarity, but that didn’t mean they were a marvel. He was glad Mel was coming not just because he wanted to see her, like he always did, but because he knew Amanda needed to host and Mel could be a buffer between him and their guests. It hadn’t taken him long to earn the shyness trick, clinging to one person and pretending to be shy so people wouldn’t mind him not being social. He figured he’d be doing that when they started to get too familiar, touching him and maybe even picking him up. He was filling his water bucket when Mel emerged from the house with Amanda.

“Jamie!” Amanda quick stepped over to him. “You’re not supposed to lift things that heavy yet.” She bent down and lifted the bucket for him.

“Sorry.” He was feeling better than they realized, though they were right and he shouldn’t have been lifting heavy things yet. His abdomen was still healing.

“That’s okay. Just come ask next time,” Manda said as she set the bucket in the sand. “I’m gonna start the grill.”

“What are we building,” Mel asked.

“Don’t you have to help Manda?”

“I’m helping her help you build a sand castle.” She looked it over. It was becoming very elaborate. “Where did you learn to do this?” She couldn’t build sand castles like that.

“Here. Got plenty of time to practice.”

“Do you ever get bored?” She was bored. She was getting some interviews but wasn’t having luck getting a job, being told to get back in touch after she had some experience. How was she supposed to get experience if no one would give her a job? Another two weeks and she’d need to get her old job back. She didn’t see how Jamie, with his mind still an adult’s, could just hang out all the time without getting bored.

“Yeah. But you do kind of get into a rhythm with it. Find hobbies to fill your time. Take more pleasure in the people you’re with.”

“I don’t think I could do it.”

“You figure it out.” He considered it for a moment. “I still get bored, but I guess when you know there isn’t going to be some big change you find things to do. Nothing can be its own routine. It’s not as much sitting around as it seems.”

“And you get good at making sand castles.” She picked up a handful of sand and let it run through her fingers.

“If the party sucks, we should go somewhere fun.”

“Like where?”

“I dunno.” He wasn’t really serious.

“How’s Ella? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“She’s good. She’s been spending a lot of time at the therapist getting ready to see her family. But she’s coming over here tomorrow.” He was looking forward to it. He’d not gotten to spend a whole day with her since his surgery. Her family would arrive in just a few days before going into quarantine.

“Glad to hear that. I’d be a nervous wreck.” She really couldn’t imagine what she’d be like beyond that cliché.

Jamie sighed in response and drizzled water water from his hand on the castle. He was nervous, if not a wreck. He wanted to rehearse the meeting but had been too embarrassed to ask. “I wish these people would get here,” he said instead, meaning Manda’s cohort. “I kinda wanna get this over with.”

“That’s no attitude for a party.”

“You didn’t see the way they looked at me at that event. Like I was a specimen.”

“I heard one of them tried to give you a cookie. That’s kind of sweet, in its own way.”

“Just ... could you stay close to me? They make me nervous.” He wasn’t even sure why. It wasn’t like they were going to whisk him off to a laboratory. He thought he had gotten used to bigs and didn’t feel anxious around them much anymore unless they gave him reason to. He knew he didn’t need to feel this way, or thought he didn’t, but he couldn’t help it. That’s why they call them feelings instead of logic, he thought.

“Aww. No one is gonna be mean to my Jamie Bear,” Mel reassured him.

“I’m Manda’s bear,” he teased.

“Is that how it’s gonna be? Huh?” She gently pushed him backward and began tickling his armpits. He squealed and tried to not kick or thrash or knock down his sand castle. “I’ma tickle you until you say it!”

“No!” Jamie cried. “Hehehehee! Stop!”

“Say it!”

“Hehehe! I’m Manda’s bear!”

“Who’s bear are you?” She redoubled her efforts, sliding her hands up his shirt

“Manda’s!” He wouldn’t say it. He was Manda’s bear, and that was final.

“Fine!” Mel stopped and took her hands back, looking away and trying to affect aloofness. “Be her bear. See if I care.”

Jamie sat up and used the little bit of his forearms not covered in sand to wipe the tears from his eyes. He edged closer to Mel and leaned his head against her arm. “Can I be your nephew instead?”

Mel’s artifice collapsed, and she smiled warmly, a contented smile that said she knew how fortunate she was to have this little in her life. She pivoted to pick him up and set him in her lap, hugging him. “Always.” She kissed the top of his head and felt his body sigh and smile as he leaned into her, letting his weight go heavy. “But I’m still gonna tell everyone you’re my bestest bear.”

“Okay.”

She brushed sand off his back. “We’re gonna be in trouble,” she laughed. “I got you all dirty.”

“Manda and Mommy like it when I come inside dirty. They say that’s how little boys are supposed to be when they come inside after playing.”

“Even before you have company?”

“Well, not so much then.” She stood him on his feet and started brushing him off, not so easy with some of the sand being wet.

“I think we need to change your clothes.” She stood up and held his hand as they walked inside, passing Manda on her way out. She blocked the door before they could step inside.

“What happened to you,” she asked with a half-smile on her face.

“It’s my fault. I tried to get him to say he was my bear,” Mel confessed.

“And,” Manda asked, cocking her hip, ready to resume his tickling if he’d forgotten.

“I’m a very loyal bear,” Jamie replied. Amanda smiled down at him, glad he was hers always and forever.

“I’ll clean him up,” Mel said, “even if he is technically your bear.” She winked at Amanda.

“Strip him out here,” Amanda suggested, “so the sand stays out here. His clothes can dry in the sun.” She’d shake them out later to keep the sand out of the washing machine.

In the nursery, Mel put Jamie on the changing table. “You’re a wet little boy,” she said as he lay back and let her change his diaper. She was slower at it than Mom or Manda, and he liked that. “What would you like to wear?”

“Clothes.” He didn’t care. Mel picked out a red shirt with stripes and a pair of his khaki shorts. Jamie knew the procedure and put himself in the requisite positions for her to slide them on.

“Wanna wear shoes?”

“No. It’s summer. If I had my way, I wouldn’t wear shoes again until it gets cold.” Becky wouldn’t allow that, though, and he was proud of his sandal tan.

“Ya know what would be funny,” Jamie asked.

“What?”

“If we pretended I was regressed.”

“Don’t they know you’re not?”

“We could just tell them we had it done a couple days ago.”

“Is that how it works?”

“I dunno. Just might be funny to hear what they say if they think I can’t understand. Though they probably think I can’t understand a lot anyway.”

“I think Manda would blow your cover. But! How about we clip a paci to your shirt in case you’re feeling shy?” She got a clip from under the changing table and fished around in the crib until she found his pacifier. She clipped it to his shirt and smiled at him.

“What,” he asked, self-conscious.

“You’re just too darn cute sometimes.” He blushed, then quickly frowned.

“I think I hear someone,” he said.

“We’ll have a fun time. Walk or carry?”

At the first party at their home he’d been at, the one for his arrival, he’d chosen to walk, wanting to seem independent. That thought didn’t even cross his mind now, and he replied, “Carry.” Not because he was comfortable being seen as dependent, but because he wanted to be carried.

“Does Amanda know what a lazy bear she has,” Mel asked as she situated him on her hip.

“I’m husbanding my energy in case of emergency later.”

“Want a drink before we go back outside?”

“Yeah. Some milk, please.” He’d noted the cooler on the patio, and if he couldn’t have a beer, he could at least have some milk.

“You are such a milkhead,” Mel teased him.

“My name is Jamie, and I’m a milkaholic,” he teased back.

She set him the counter on his butt. “Formula or the good stuff?”

“The good stuff, with ice, please.” Mel got Jamie’s tumbler from the cabinet above his head and poured a bottle of breast milk into it, topping it off with ice cubes. She snapped a lid on it. It had been so weird at first handling her best friend’s mom’s milk when she babysat, but she was long over that.

She handed him the glass, lifted him under his arms, and set him in the floor. With a soft smack to his butt, she announced, “You can walk the rest of the way, lazy bear.”

They walked outside, where Manda was with three fellow students, two women and a man. He recognized one of them as the woman who’d tried to apologize by giving him half a cookie.

“I’d like you to meet Mel,” Amanda said, “And this is Jamie, as you probably know.” She’d heard his name was circulating after they’d left the reception.

“Hi, Mel,” the man said, holding out his hand. Jamie instantly sensed, or thought he did, that his man was going to try to hit on his aunt and took a disliking to him. “I’m Jeremy. Are you in our program?”

“No,” Mel said as she shook his hand. “I’m Amanda and Jamie’s friend.”

“Oh! What do you do?”

“I hunt for jobs,” Mel said. Jamie couldn’t tell if that was meant to be flirty or dismissive. He could never tell when women flirted with him, which had led so many to dismiss him as not interested.

“This is Bethany and Amira,” Manda interjected.

“Remember me,” the one Jamie recognized and that Amanda had indicated was Bethany said. She bent down and held out her hand.

“Yes,” Jamie said, holding out his hand and pasting a smile on his face.

“He shakes hands,” Jeremy asked.

Jamie grimaced, and turning to Amanda, he sarcastically said, “It asks questions?” Mel bit her lip.

Amanda gave Jamie a subtle look to remind him to let her be the one to get grumpy if someone needed to. “Jamie can answer questions about himself, can’t you, Jamie,” Amanda said.

“Yes, and I prefer to.”

Jeremy blushed. “Sorry. I’m not used to talking to littles.”

“Then why did you apply to this program,” Amira asked. Jamie detected an accent he didn’t know.

“I like littles,” he replied. “I thought I’d be able to figure out something to do with this degree and it would be kinda fun.”

“Is that would you wrote in your statement of intent?”

“Of course not,” Jeremy said and changed the subject by moving to the cooler. “Can I get anyone a beer?”

“I’ll take one,” Mel replied. Her brief interest in him waned with the revelation of his cavalier, almost disrespectful, attitude.

“Nice to meet you,” Jamie said to Amira. She got down on one knee.

“As am I.” They shook hands.

Soon they were seated around the table and four more guests showed up, though Jamie was mostly interested in Amira. He rarely got to meet people not from Itali. Even after four years, he didn’t know much about the world he lived in. It was partly on purpose; he didn’t want to know about politics or the economy or world events. He’d left that behind. He was happy for his world to be not much larger than San Siena. But he was still interested in people and their cultures.

“Are there many littles in Tenecao,” Jamie asked.

“In some parts. There is a lot of inequality in my country. Only families with money can afford to care for littles. They are, how you say, luxury.”

“Oh.” Jamie didn’t like that notion. It made humans sound like an item for showing off you could afford one. “Do you have a little,” he asked.

“Yes, a little girl. Suri. She’s been part of our family for a long time. She’s not like you, though.”

“How so?”

“She’s regressed. She is like a two-year-old. She doesn’t remember anything about her life before.” Suddenly Jamie realized he could be talking to one of those people who mistreat littles. He couldn’t imagine the university letting someone from one of those countries in. Perhaps it was the language barrier, though Amira spoke well, but there seemed to be a subtext to what she was saying, that Suri was different than Jamie in other ways.

Jamie wasn’t sure how to ask. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He asked instead, “Is Tenecao an Alliance country?”

“Yes! For the past seven years.” Amira sounded so proud to say it.

“Oh. And how long as Suri been with you?”

“Since I was little, I think fifteen years.”

“Was …” Jamie looked at Amanda, who was talking to another student, and decided to just ask. “Was Suri kidnapped?”

Amira recoiled from the question. “No! Absolutely not. We adopted her directly from Earth.”

“Did she want to be regressed and all that?”

“Of course! We would never do that to a human.” Her eyes seemed to want to communicate something more to Jamie.

“Can I see pictures,” a student asked. Jamie glanced at the pictures out of one eye, wondering what life for Suri was like and whether Tenecao was a good place for littles. He didn’t know what the actual requirement for membership in the Alliance was. He did know that back home, some agencies worked exclusively with Itali, but that didn’t mean everywhere else was bad. There were likely reasons other than how Itali treated littles that made agencies more likely to work exclusively there, like laws that made the process easier, though Jamie had thought it was a pretty thorough process.

“She’s adorable,” the other student said.

“Thank you. I miss her very much,” Amira said.

Jamie leaned back in his chair. He looked at Manda, who had been talking about him off and on, or at least he heard his name a few times. He didn’t mind her talking about him, but other than Amira, no one had really talked to him. He turned his head slightly and caught sight of Bethany slipping something in her pocket. He thought he’d seen her doing that earlier. It seemed every time he turned, she was doing that.

“What are you doing,” he asked, annoyance creeping into his voice.

“Nothing,” she smiled, “Just enjoying the day.”

“Yes, you are. You put something in your pocket.” Mel joined the conversation by sending a pointed looked at Bethany.

“I just … It’s just a notebook.” She pulled a small pad from her pocket.

“What are you taking notes on,” Mel asked.

“Jamie. I just …” She was embarrassed as though she’d been caught at something. “I was just making some observations.”

“Why,” Jamie asked.

“I’ve never met an unregressed little. I just thought it might be interesting to learn more is all. I’ve done it again, haven’t I?”

“Done what?”

“Offended you. I apologize.” The way she said it, the deliberate tone and careful enunciation, got under Jamie’s skin. It was as though she were an anthropologist trying to establish a relationship with a previously uncontacted tribe and falling back on the only phrase she thought she knew to communicate with him. He didn’t like being up on a pedestal.

“I’m just a person.” He raised his voice just a little, but enough to catch everyone’s attention. “Stop thinking of me as a damn specimen … And you know what else? I am not the ambassador from Earth, which is just as diverse as this planet, so stop thinking that I’m some kind of representative sample. I’m Jamie! That’s it.”

Amanda came up behind Jamie and put her hand on his shoulder. He jumped and then settled down when he saw who it was. She bent down and whispered in his ear, and he nodded. She lifted him from his chair and handed him to Mel, who carried him inside.

“Go easy on him,” one of the students said.

“What,” Amanda asked.

“Littles have outbursts sometimes,” another chimed in.

“It was my fault,” Bethany said. If nothing else, she seemed earnest, sincere even, as she had been at that reception. She didn’t mean to offend him. She jus felt lost with an unregressed little, and so intrigued. How should she communicate with him? What could she learn from him? What could she learn about littles through him?

“He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not in trouble,” Amanda said. “Excuse me.” Amanda wished she had a tape recorder so she could hear what they were saying about them as she walked inside. She found Jamie in his room on the floor with Kazoo. Mel was sitting in the rocking chair. She stood up and left.

“Be nice to them,” Amanda instructed Mel before she closed the door behind her.

“I’m okay,” Jamie said.

“Something’s not okay, obviously.”

“Just felt reminded that I’m not a person to everybody.”

“What do you mean,” she asked as she sat down and scratched Kazoo above his ear.

“I’m a little. Amira, I dunno. I wonder if she thinks of me … she made it sound like littles are for showing off where she’s from, and Bethany was taking notes about me like I’m a curiosity. And I kept hearing you talking about me.”

“I’m sorry. I was only saying good things about you.”

“I know. But how come they won’t just talk to me? Besides Amira, I mean. I was worried they were gonna get all handsy, but they act all weird. At least I know what to do when people pick me up without permission.”

“They’re afraid,” Manda told him. “They don’t know what to make of you.”

“I’m just a person.”

“You can come tell them that, if you want to. Or you can stay in here. Or you and Mel can go someplace.”

“I’m sorry,” Jamie said.

“For what?”

“For getting angry. For suggesting you do this. For getting you off on the wrong foot with your classmates.”

“I don’t think we’re off on the wrong foot yet. We’re all still getting to know each other. And I think after that reception we both put ourselves in a bit of a mood about this group, don’t you think?” Perhaps he was projecting his own negative emotions on to them. She hoped that was the case.

“Yeah.”

“But I’m glad we followed through with this.” She moved her hand from Kazoo’s ear to Jamie’s back, giving him a reassuring rub. “What you do you wanna do? Wanna go back out there, or you and Mel can take my car and go anywhere you want.”

Jamie thought about it. He felt tired, physically and emotionally. It was not, so far, turning out to be the great summer he had predicted right up until the day Amanda announced she’d be moving out. He wanted get in Manda’s car, with her and with Mel, and drive back in time three years to the day he got Kazoo, which seemed in retrospect like the perfect day, when he realized just how well everything had come together for him, how lucky he was to have these people in his life. Or barring that, then drive the park and play tag until his lungs hurt, and then let Mel scoop him up and place him in the stroller, wheel him to their favorite restaurant, and sit in her lap while the two of them ate queso and colored in a placemat.

But he felt he had responsibilities, first to Manda and helping her smooth over this bump in the road with people who, like it or not, were going to be important people in her life for the next two years. Secondly, to himself and littles, who needed bigs to understand they weren’t so different, that littles are people too.

“Is Tenecao really a good place for littles,” Jamie asked, looking up hopefully to Amanda. Lie to me if you have to, he wanted to say.

“Yes. It really is. They wouldn’t have admitted Amira if she came from a place that didn’t respect littles.”

“Let’s go back outside,” Jamie said.

“You always do what’s hard, Jamie Bear.” She admired that about him. It made them kindred. That’s what she and her mother had done when they brought him into their home. They’d done what’s hard. “Walk or carry?”

“Walk.”

She leaned over and kissed him. “My brave bear.”

They both wondered what Mel had said to them, if anything, because the group seemed intent on pretending as if nothing had happened. Manda suspected it was an affectation, at least from the few who thought Jamie deserved some kind of chastisement for sticking up for himself. She thought she sensed some gentle, misplaced empathy toward herself, as though they understood the burdensome parts of tending to littles. It made her feel defensive. It made her a little angry even, but she set that aside.

Jamie looked around at the group, now conspicuously ignoring him in what he recognized as an attempt to be polite, to not make him feel self-conscious about his snapping at Bethany, as opposed to their inconspicuously ignoring him fifteen minutes ago, except for Bethany and Amira. He reached up and tugged on the hem of Manda’s shorts. She bent down to his level.

“I wanna talk to them like I do with Dr. Stern’s classes.”

“You wanna take questions?”

“And tell them about how I got here.”

That caught Amanda by surprise. Jamie didn’t talk about that much anymore. He’d hardly talked about it when it was fresh, and then mostly to Dr. Mary. She knelt down next to him. “Why do you wanna do that?”

“Because,” he said, “they should know what littles really are. We’re just people.”

And all the messiness that entails, Amanda thought.

“Okay. How about after everyone has eaten we can all sit down in the grass?”

“Okay.”

That is one brave bear, Amanda thought. Braver than they’ll ever know. She was proud of him. He made her proud every day.

[Little Andrea]

A brave bear indeed. And  this was another excellent chapter.

[SGTbaby]

Brave and cute!

[Alex Bridges]

6 minutes ago, SGTbaby said:

Brave and cute!

Me or Jamie? ?

[Samriis]

I agree completely.  This is not a rub against Jamie, but I wonder... how would we deal with a neighbor who had a dog that could talk and carry a conversation?  Intellectually we would know that the dog is on the same level as us, but could we see past everything that says "dogs don't talk"?  Just makes me wonder is all.

[Alex Bridges]

24 minutes ago, Samriis said:

I agree completely.  This is not a rub against Jamie, but I wonder... how would we deal with a neighbor who had a dog that could talk and carry a conversation?  Intellectually we would know that the dog is on the same level as us, but could we see past everything that says "dogs don't talk"?  Just makes me wonder is all.

This is the reverse. They're taking people on mostly the same intellectual level and reducing their intellectual capacity, and somehow thinking that's the natural state or at least preferred state of the person.

[Samriis]

10 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

This is the reverse. They're taking people on mostly the same intellectual level and reducing their intellectual capacity, and somehow thinking that's the natural state or at least preferred state of the person.

The preferred state... that would be the logical conclusion given that non regressed littles are rare... more over because most of the littles that come to that island in the dimension choose to be regressed.  At least as I remember when Jamie was going through the application process. 

[Alex Bridges]

8 minutes ago, Samriis said:

The preferred state... that would be the logical conclusion given that non regressed littles are rare... more over because most of the littles that come to that island in the dimension choose to be regressed.  At least as I remember when Jamie was going through the application process. 

True.

I think the main issue is they look at humans, think "they look just like toddlers," and can't get past that thinking. They're eyes rather than their brains are dictating what they're thinking.

[Sarah Penguin]

[littleTomás]

Such a wonderful chapter. Jamie is always ready to do the hard things and Amanda is so supportive of him. I absolutely love this story.

 

Of late I’ve been reflecting on the differences between volumes 1 and 2 of Done Adulting. I think that volume 1 centers around Jamie’s adjustment and volume 2 centers on how everyone is adapting to the changes that are taking place.

[Alex Bridges]

25 minutes ago, littleTomás said:

Such a wonderful chapter. Jamie is always ready to do the hard things and Amanda is so supportive of him. I absolutely love this story.

 

Of late I’ve been reflecting on the differences between volumes 1 and 2 of Done Adulting. I think that volume 1 centers around Jamie’s adjustment and volume 2 centers on how everyone is adapting to the changes that are taking place.

Yeah, and I feel really bad for Jamie. I wish Amanda didn’t have to move out and that Mel didn’t have to get a job. After all Jamie went through, it’s really not fair that he has to endure these changes, but ultimately they’re not about him. He’s just an innocent bystander.

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 42

 

“How did your party go,” Becky asked Amanda when she got home.

“Good. Mostly. Little hiccup with a couple of our guests not addressing their questions to Jamie, and one of them actually brought a pad to take notes when he wasn’t looking.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Really turned into a ‘get to know Jamie’ party than a ‘get to know each other.’ Kinda figured that would happen.”

“Does it bother you?” She wondered if maybe Amanda was jealous of Jamie attracting all the interest of her new classmates.

“No. Probably saved me a lot of explanation on my own. I’m sure if Jamie wasn’t there I’d have still gotten peppered with questions. Kinda silly, really. He’s different, but he’s still a little.”

“How did Jamie handle it? Where is he anyway?”

“Asleep. He did okay. He did a little Q&A with them after lunch. Sorta tried to get it all out of the way. And I think he wanted them to understand him better. He, um, told them why he came here.”

Becky’s face clouded. She didn’t like that topic of conversation. She never brought it up, and she discouraged everyone except Jamie and Amanda from bringing it up. “Wish he hadn’t done that,” she said.

“He did fine with it, actually. A few of them got teary, but Jamie didn’t. Anyway, he didn’t tell them everything.”

“Well, I guess that’s a good thing. How was he when they left?”

“Ha. Sleepy. He wanted Mel to put him down. He’s gonna be sad when she finally gets a job.”

“Why?”

“He’s gonna miss getting to see her so much. He told me so this morning.”

“Poor little thing. All this change affecting him, and he can’t do anything about it.” Amanda didn’t appreciate that comment. She was part of that change. Becky could sit back and nod sympathetically, even empathetically because she didn’t ask for any of this change either. It made Amanda feel guilty despite knowing she shouldn’t.

“It just is what it is,” Amanda said. “I’m sorry for him, too, but dwelling on it doesn’t help anyone.” Becky picked up on the change in Amanda’s tone, not that it was very subtle.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Becky said. “It’s not anyone’s fault. For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done a great job getting him ready for it.”

“We still need to talk about how it’s going to work,” Amanda reminded her mom. They thought they had the best solution. They hoped he thought so, too. It wasn’t set in stone, but it seemed like the best way to divide his time between their homes.

“Why don’t we talk about it with him tomorrow after Stacy picks Ella up,” Becky suggested.

“Okay.”

———————————

“Hello,” Jamie called out when he woke up. He’d relieved himself and was ready to get cleaned up. He may have long ago gotten used to it, but he was stinky and knew it. “Manda? Mom?” The door opened.

“Hey, honey,” Becky said. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mhmm.” He sat up, ignoring the squish, and held up his arms. Becky lifted him from the crib.

“Jamie, buddy, you don’t smell so good.”

“I know,” he blushed. She laid him on the changing table, opened the tub of wipes, and set it next to him. She steeled herself and opened his diaper. Lifting him by his ankles, she raised his butt off the diaper and began cleaning him off. He squirmed a bit.

“You a wiggle bug today,” she asked.

“A little,” he admitted. He felt better with each pass of a wipe. When he was completely clean, Becky rolled up the diaper and dropped it in the pail, which she intended to empty that evening.

“I got a surprise for you,” Becky told him. “One you’re really gonna like.” She put the naked little on her hip and carried him toward the bathroom. Opening the door, she looked at his smile when he saw a steaming tub of hot water waiting for him, a real bath. She’d already set his boat, duck, and shark afloat. Jamie was so excited he almost squirmed out of Becky’s arms as she lowered him into the water.

“Oh, mama,” he cooed as he left himself slide down until the water was at his chin.

“Is that what you needed,” she laughed. She loved that he loved water. The bathtub could practically babysit. Many is the time she sat next to the tub with a book or magazine while he happily soaked. He slid his head under the water like a hippopotamus and emerged with bubbles on his head.

“I’m happy,” he said. Becky was so glad to hear that.

“I heard you gave a little talk to Manda’s classmates today.”

“Yeah,” he said offhandedly.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“No … well, actually, I do have a question.”

“Okay.”

“It’s kind of a hard question.”

“You can ask me anything, Baby Bear.”

“Well, you know how when I first got here, we didn’t exactly understand each other. How did we … how did you come to … it’s like you figured out what it means for a little to not be regressed. How did you do that?”

“Why are you asking,” Becky asked.

“Because maybe if we could figure it out, we could teach other people, and they would see me for who I am without it being so much work.”

“Well, I’m really not sure. I think a lot of it was getting to know you. I admit you surprised me in a lot of ways. I really didn’t know what to expect.” She thought for a moment. “I’m really not sure. I don’t think it was any one thing.”

Manda helped, Jamie thought, maybe she has some ideas. But to Becky he said, “Well, whatever it was, I’m glad we figured it out.” He looked contemplative. Becky thought after rehashing his life story, it would be too easy for Jamie to put himself in a funk. She didn’t want that, so she sat down on the floor next to the tub, scooped up a palmful of bubbles, and set them on Jamie’s hair.

“You have bubbles on your head.”

Jamie giggled. “Mommy, you’re being silly.”

“You’re silly. You’re the one with bubbles on your head.” Jamie giggled again, then sighed and slumped down deeper into the water once more.

Becky reached for the bar of soap. “Leg,” she said, and Jamie lifted a leg for her to wash.

When he was all clean and done relaxing in the tub, he watched the water drain away, and Becky held a towel out for him. Jamie stepped forward as she folded the towel around him, swooping one arm behind his knees and lifting him out of the tub and on to the vanity, where Jamie snaked a hand out of the towel and started chewing on the corner, his bad habit. Becky ignored it while she combed his hair. “There,” she said as she set down the brush and turned him a little so he could see in the mirror. “A handsome little boy.”

On his way into the nursery, he asked, “Can I wear jammies tonight please?”

“Are you cold?”

“A little.”

“What jammies do you want,” she asked as she set him on the changing table.

“One of my big tee shirts and a diaper cover.”

“Your legs won’t be cold?”

“No.” She got out what he’d asked for.

“Uh oh,” she said.

“What?”

“You’re all out of diapees.” She went to the closet, where she kept the extra case. She took two handfuls and crossed back to the changing table and put them where they belonged. “Which one do you wanna wear tonight? Trucks and trains, or animals?”

“Animals,” Jamie said with a chuckle. It didn’t matter, and he knew it didn’t matter, and yet he had a preference, which amused him. The entire notion of decorating a diaper was kind of silly. Decorate something you poo on, he thought, that’s kinda ridiculous.

When he was all wrapped up, Becky carried him to the living room and set him on the sofa to go start dinner. “Manda won’t be home for dinner tonight,” she called out. “It’ll just be you and me.”

“Where is she?”

“She met Mel to go do some shopping.”

“Oh.” He reached for the remote and turned on the TV, settling on a music channel. Becky came back in with a sippy cup of water for him.

“What did you find?”

“Just some piano music.”

“It’s pretty.”

“What’s for dinner?”

“Frozen pizza. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” She never needed to go to any trouble on his account unless she wanted to, for the most part.

“You’re kinda quiet tonight,” she said. “Wanna snuggle until dinner’s ready?” He nodded, and Becky reached over and picked him up, shifting him to her lap so he was facing her. She put one hand around his thin waist, and the other on the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair while he nestled against her.  “Are you really okay,” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. I am. I just wanna be quiet,” he said. He’d been pretty satisfied with how his talk to the students went. It did bring up some old feelings, but mostly he was just thinking that he wished more people understood him. The most tiring thing about being a little, he thought, is being a little. Not that he was sad. Just mellow after his nap and long, hot bath.

“Will you dance with me, Baby Bear?”

“Dance?”

“To the music.”

“Yes, please,” he said, snuggling in closer. Slow dancing with Becky was one of Jamie’s favorite things. He stayed just like he was as Becky stood, stepped into the center of the room, and swayed her hips back and forth slowly to the music while he rested his cheek against the front of her shoulder. Becky didn’t know the words to the song, or even if it had words, so she sang her own.

After dinner, Jamie had gotten sleepy quickly even without his bedtime milk. She decided she wanted him to sleep in her bed that night, so she carried him and his bear upstairs while he nursed one of his pacis and tried to stay awake so he could enjoy the evening with Becky. She got him situated on the bed, turned on the TV, and sat herself down.

“Want to do something fun tomorrow with Ella,” she asked as she watched a rerun of a show that had gone off the air a long time ago. Not getting an answer, she turned to her right and saw he had fallen asleep already, though his bedtime wasn’t for another forty-five minutes.

Sighing, she turned the TV down and leaned over the edge of the bed, reaching under it to get her sewing kit and resuming her work on the bear’s new coat, ready to hide it away if he stirred. Without much thought to it, she began to sing a lullaby, though she couldn’t remember when or where she’d learned it.

 

 

By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby, by,
Mama still loves you, Mama still loves you,
Mama still loves you, and now it’s time to sleep.

 

By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby,
By-lo, baby, by,
Mama still loves you, Mama still loves you,
Mama still loves you, her sweetest baby boy.

[Samriis]

Wish I could give 2 hearts for that one.  Thank you for a wonderful chapter 

[SGTbaby]

Aww, I love how close Becky and Jamie are getting! 

[Sarah Penguin]

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[the diaper mike]

Really cute chapter

[Gentle Gemma]

A perfect end to a weekend! 

[littleTomás]

Absolutely fantastic! When I first met Becky I was worried she wouldn’t be a good mommy for Jamie. However, my worries have been quenched dozens of times over. Becky is a fantastic mommy.

[Alex Bridges]

I don't know why I'm on such a Becky and Baby Bear kick lately.

_________________

 Chapter 42 and a half

Jamie woke up in the middle of the night to a dark room. He wasn’t sure at first where he was, and feeling around, he didn’t feel the bars of his crib and remembered he was in Becky’s bed. She was the sleeping form to his left, the one with most of the blankets. His feet were cold.

Feeling around again, he found his bear and wrapped it in a hug. It had a way of absorbing his heat and was always warm to hold. But it didn’t help his feet. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, he rolled toward Becky and grabbed a handful of blanket, trying to stretch it over to cover more of him. He managed to cover most of himself, but his right side was still a little exposed. He liked to sleep in the cold, but only when he could snuggle under his blankie and stay warm.

He spooned closer to Becky and began to drift off again. He was almost asleep when she started to roll over toward him, and his adrenaline kicked in, quickly scooching him out from under her before she could crush him. Now all the loose blanket was on the other side of her.

Jamie didn’t want to wake his mommy. She worked so hard taking care of him, and anyway, he never felt right waking someone up. Instead, he rolled back toward her, trying to wedge his feet under her just a little. It didn’t work very well.

“Jamie,” Becky whispered groggily. “Are you awake?”

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” he whispered back.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“I’m cold.”

Becky shifted herself to free up the covers, took the near edge in her hand, and stretched them over Jamie and his bear, pulling him toward her and wrapping him in the blankets. Her soft arm lay over him, and his body was now nestled into the curve of her own, her chin resting just above Jamie’s head on the pillow. Jamie was holding his bear the same way.

“Go back to sleep, Baby Bear.”

“Night night, Mommy.”

She had already drifted back off.