A Question of Feeling or Attitude

[Lil'PinkDi-dee]

When I was caring for my parents in their final illness(es), they were both in diapers, out of necessity.  They both were embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated.  That made them also very irritable and angry and a challenge to deal with.

I on the other hand, am none of that.  I'm very happy as well as easy to get along with.  I realize that I'm the way I am because I want to wear diapers as well as use them for their intended purpose(s), namely peeing, pooping or having sex.  However I realize that if I live long enough I will need to wear diapers out of necessity rather than out of choice.  When I get there, will my attitude change, making me become like my parents as I've described them?  Or will me being a DL voluntarily allow me to avoid all the negative feelings/attitudes of my parents?  

I can't answer these questions, since I'm not 'there' yet.  However there may be some members here who do wear diapers out of necessity (fecal or urinal incontinence).  If so, did being a DL previous to needing to wear diapers help you with feelings/attitude?  I need input here, so let's hear from any of you guys or gals who, from personal experience, can answer my questions.

Thanks, and happy diaper loading to all.

[Clr224]

It’s way too early for you to be concerned about that.  Your attitude toward diapers will undoubtedly change over the years.

 I’ve been in diapers or wanted to be for nearly 70 years. There were times that I was embarrassed by my psychological need to wear diapers and use of them long after I was toilet trained.  I wondered what was wrong with me and unsuccessfully tried many times to give them up.  Later, when I was in my 40s I became more comfortable with this aspect of my life and stopped fighting it. As I adjusted, diapers became more normal underwear and I allowed myself to use them more openly. By the time I was getting close to retirement, my conscious voluntary use of diapers was becoming more like incontinence.  These days, I am incontinent and am not embarrassed by it.  Should the time come when I can no longer change my own diapers, I suspect that I will be more embarrassed or uncomfortable that I can no longer care for myself than the fact that I am uncontrollably wetting and messing my diapers  

You parents were in a different situation; they were progressively losing control of their lives and becoming more dependent on others for even the most basic of bodily functions. I don’t doubt that they were embarrassed and angry at that situation. How you react to your physical or psychological need for diapers and becoming dependent on others 40, 50, or 60 years in the future is anybody’s guess. 

[vet19891994]

When I was caring for my parents in their final illness(es), they were both in diapers, out of necessity.  They both were embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated.  That made them also very irritable and angry and a challenge to deal with.
I on the other hand, am none of that.  I'm very happy as well as easy to get along with.  I realize that I'm the way I am because I want to wear diapers as well as use them for their intended purpose(s), namely peeing, pooping or having sex.  However I realize that if I live long enough I will need to wear diapers out of necessity rather than out of choice.  When I get there, will my attitude change, making me become like my parents as I've described them?  Or will me being a DL voluntarily allow me to avoid all the negative feelings/attitudes of my parents?  
I can't answer these questions, since I'm not 'there' yet.  However there may be some members here who do wear diapers out of necessity (fecal or urinal incontinence).  If so, did being a DL previous to needing to wear diapers help you with feelings/attitude?  I need input here, so let's hear from any of you guys or gals who, from personal experience, can answer my questions.
Thanks, and happy diaper loading to all.

I was embarrassed at first having to wear a diaper at bedtime because of my weak bladder but now embrace and love the idea I'll have to wear a diaper at bedtime from now on. Now I even wear a diaper 24/7 on my weekends off

Sent from my moto e5 plus using Tapatalk

[rusty pins]

Just something you may consider.  Not all people end up in diapers when they get old and sick.  My dad just passed away in February from terminal cancer and while it was hard for him to even walk with a rolling walker at the end, he never needed to wear diapers at all.  He was just short of his 99th birthday when he passed away and still used the bathroom several times a day although towards the end he did need help getting up off the toilet.  Think of reaching the age of 98 years old and not ever needing to wear diapers!  Besides, I think if you get that old and have all kinds of issues, diapers may be lower on your list of worries if you have a hard time walking, eating, alsheimers and who knows what other age related issues that crop up when your close to the end.

[stevewet]

On 6/12/2019 at 4:57 PM, vet19891994 said:

I was embarrassed at first having to wear a diaper at bedtime because of my weak bladder but now embrace and love the idea I'll have to wear a diaper at bedtime from now on. Now I even wear a diaper 24/7 on my weekends off

Sent from my moto e5 plus using Tapatalk
 

I wear nappies 24/7 with no exceptions and have done for over 7 years now.

[Alex Bridges]

Old age does not equal incontinence. Most people will never wear an adult diaper.

[LittleAmytheil]

On 6/13/2019 at 7:46 AM, rusty pins said:

Just something you may consider.  Not all people end up in diapers when they get old and sick.  My dad just passed away in February from terminal cancer and while it was hard for him to even walk with a rolling walker at the end, he never needed to wear diapers at all.  He was just short of his 99th birthday when he passed away and still used the bathroom several times a day although towards the end he did need help getting up off the toilet.  Think of reaching the age of 98 years old and not ever needing to wear diapers!  Besides, I think if you get that old and have all kinds of issues, diapers may be lower on your list of worries if you have a hard time walking, eating, alsheimers and who knows what other age related issues that crop up when your close to the end.

 

23 hours ago, Author_Alex said:

Old age does not equal incontinence. Most people will never wear an adult diaper.

I can second both of these:  My grandfather was 99, just a week off his 100th birthday when he passed in the same condition.

[adhb]

I’m 77 years old and need to wear a diaper 24/7 to manage urge urinary incontinence. My bladder control problem dates back to a surgical mishap when I was 14 years old. I bled excessively following the surgery and then developed what started out as a urinary tract infection but subsequently spread to affect my entire body and nearly killed me. After 3 months in hospital, I was able to go home just in time to start grade 9. At that time, I was totally incontinent of urine and had to wear a thick cloth diaper with plastic pants 24/7. Believe me: Going to high school diapered was a terrible experience!  And at the time, I really, really hated diapers. My urologist at that time advised me to do what nowadays are called Kegel exercises; and I was a fanatic about doing them. And it worked. By the time I was in grade 12, I could generally go without a daytime diaper, although I never regained reliable nighttime continence. Things went along like that (wearing a diaper only to sleep) throughout university and into the middle part of my professional career. However, when I was in my forties, my daytime symptoms worsened; and Kegel exercises no longer worked. As a result, I’ve been back in diapers 24/7 for the past thirty years or so. During that time, my attitude toward diapers has changed for a couple of reasons. Probably the most important reason for the change is the development of better and better diapers. In my opinion, modern high-capacity disposable diapers are a huge improvement over cloth diapers with plastic pants. As a result, needing to wear a diaper is much less of a hassle than It used to be in the bad old days. Second, with the advent of the internet, I learned about the fact that some people actually enjoy wearing diapers; and I decided to see if I could learn to enjoy my incontinence instead of suffering from it. I don’t think that I have really become a diaper lover in the full sense of that term, but I have definitely learned to appreciate the sensory experiences that wearing and wetting a diaper produce. So my attitude toward diapers has evolved from absolutely hating diapers as a teenager to enjoying my incontinence more than I suffer from it.

[Ketcher]

I agree with everyone above here, but arguments sake let's say everyone eventually became incontinent. We need to consider that, like all people, not all diaper lovers are the same. For some, medical incontinence would be a dream come true. Others could make the best of the situation and learn to accept and enjoy it (more power to them!). Granted I had all my mental faculties, I would hate it and being incontinent would most likely ruin diapers for me. I would no longer have the choice to wear them or not. I can not take them off when I go out in public or socialize with others. My fetish would now be with me wherever I go, and I wouldn't want that. It's a little different because I would have a legitimate medical need to wear diapers, but that's still not something I would want to remotely risk having people find out. A lot of people aren't as high-strung as I am and wouldn't be near as concerned, but I would. I'm sure if I was medically incontinent from the start it wouldn't matter as much, but because it's a fetish I'm more protective of my privacy and independence. Removing the freedom and the choice to wear diapers would remove a lot of my enjoyment. 

We're raised to equate diapers to being a baby. Being able to use the toilet means we're one step closer to being adults. We're a little more independent, a little more mature, and a little more in control of ourselves. Everyone understands that incontinent people are the exception and that they can't help it, but that doesn't erase the feeling of losing the control you once had. Having to be changed by someone else also means having your most private areas exposed to someone else, and when that's your own child I imagine it would be extra uncomfortable. Those feelings of helplessness and embarrassment could easily manifest itself as anger. I'm sure I'd feel it too if I ever got to that point.

[Stroller]

Hm. 

13 hours ago, Ketcher said:

Having to be changed by someone else also means having your most private areas exposed to someone else, and when that's your own child I imagine it would be extra uncomfortable. Those feelings of helplessness and embarrassment could easily manifest itself as anger. I'm sure I'd feel it too if I ever got to that point.

But I'd be happy with that.  I can quite understand why most people would hate it, including many DLs.  I'd rather it wasn't my own kids having to do it, of course.  For now I'm happy enough to change myself.  But it's quite possible that sooner or later I won't be able to do that.  Then, assuming I'm dependent on nappies by that stage, I won't have a problem with someone having to change me, provided they care for me properly.  I'd do it for my wife, my mother or my kids if it were necessary.

I suppose it's an AB thing for me - I've got no problem with "feelings of helplessness" as long as hopelessness doesn't go alongside.  I've got no problems with my private parts being seen by someone else, and no sense of embarrassment about it.  I like being looked after!

[drynot]

I can imagine that if I make it to the age where I need full time care that one of my biggest complaints is the quality of diapers they choose to put me in.  Us ABDL folks are somewhat experts on what works and what doesn't so if I can't use a high quality disposable then I might get a little cross....

[Ketcher]

On June 19, 2019 at 1:13 AM, Stroller said:

Hm. 

But I'd be happy with that.  I can quite understand why most people would hate it, including many DLs.  I'd rather it wasn't my own kids having to do it, of course.  For now I'm happy enough to change myself.  But it's quite possible that sooner or later I won't be able to do that.  Then, assuming I'm dependent on nappies by that stage, I won't have a problem with someone having to change me, provided they care for me properly.  I'd do it for my wife, my mother or my kids if it were necessary.

I suppose it's an AB thing for me - I've got no problem with "feelings of helplessness" as long as hopelessness doesn't go alongside.  I've got no problems with my private parts being seen by someone else, and no sense of embarrassment about it.  I like being looked after!

My problem with it would be that the environment is totally different. Chances are that whoever is changing me isn't doing it to indulge my fetish. I'm not being treated like a baby or getting anything more than a diaper change, and my change would be done with professionalism and dignity. It would be awkward. Not to mention my physical independence would be dwindling fast if I can't even change myself. Forget everything else I want to do in life, I'm now dependent on a younger person who is probably calling my diapers "briefs" to spare me my pride. It would ruin the fetish for me, because I'm neither being indulged nor do I have a choice in the matter. The helplessness that I would enjoy in a fantasy would be accompanied by hopelessness because this is all I'll know until I finally pass. Kind of morbid, I know.