Ketcher

At first James was wary of the car. He whimpered and whined about not wanting to go. But the tinted windows of the back seat gave James the privacy he craved to unwind. The car seat didn’t give him much room to move about, though. The big orange release button would be easy for any adult to escape from, but James was a baby and babies couldn’t work that kind of mechanism. Looking out the window as the world passed him by, he took the pacifier out of his mouth to nibble on his cereal, kicking his legs and relaxing some in his car seat. That was, until they arrived at work. Then the baby grew shy again. “I don’t wanna go.” He whimpered as Hailey unbuckled him, kissed his head and pushed his pacifier into his mouth. He made a few protests about being picked up, but his binky made it hard to communicate that properly. Taking it out wasn’t a thought that came to mind. James covered his mouth as they went inside to hide his binky from the eyes of would-be passers by, never mind that James was being carried on her hip in a babyish outfit that clearly did not hide the obvious diaper bulge underneath. He curled into her shoulder, the skuk-skuk-skuking of his pacifier growing faster as they got further from the car. James was scared. He feared his life would be over if someone -anyone- saw him acting like a baby. At the same time, he didn’t want baby time to end. So he employed a toddler’s logic: if he hid his face then no one could see him. When they got to Hailey’s office, James peeked up and took his hand away from his mouth. He was surprised at the baby playroom set up for him, complete with playpen and changing table. He blushed. “When do you do ‘dis?” He asked, taking the tablet and waddling closer to his mommy. He felt her hand cup his bottom and travel inside the leg of his overalls to check his diaper. “I’m otay, Mommy.” He said quietly, red faced through his binky. Though he had to pee after a bottle and a sippy, being out of the house made him hesitant to use his diaper. He also knew he hadn’t pooped yet and was just becoming aware of the growing urge to go and the debate in his mind about using his diapee or insisting to go on the potty like a big boy as he’d done before.

Blinking a tear down his cheek, James squirmed for one last attempt to get a word in before resigning to a steady rhythmic suckling while he was rocked back and forth. The warm formula trickled down his throat while his Mommy told him he needed to wear diapers. The thick bulk between his legs was evident even under his overalls. He was afraid that people would see. When his bottle went dry and the nipple was slipped from his mouth, the defeated baby was propped over Mommy’s shoulder and patted until he burped. “I don’t wanna go looking like a baby.” He whimpered, only to have his binky put back in his mouth, muffling his words. “I just a ba’ee he’a.” But still, James was picked up and brought to the car, diaper bag in tow. He blushed deeply for the need of such a thing, and felt even littler. Even more so when he saw what awaited him in the car. The diapered man nearly dropped his pacifier at the sight of the baby seat. And as he was buckled into the five point harness, he felt just as he did when Hailey used to push him around in his brother’s stroller. No one could see the big baby through the tinted windows. Not when he ate his cereal or drank his milk. That part, he felt, he could get used to.

James felt his cheeks redden as Hailey’s hand travelled under the covers and unsnapped his onesie. He felt her hand slip underneath to check his diaper, squeezing the sodden front and confirming that he had wet his diaper. James shrunk and began to squirm in response to the tickling, whining in bashful protest, his pacifier further slipping from his mouth and onto the bed. His dreary state tickled away, the blushing baby hid in his Mommy’s shoulder when she told him he had gone potty in his diaper and praised him for being a good baby. “I could have gone in the potty.” He said but it was muffled into Haileys shirt, coming out instead as babble. “I tried to wake you. I did.” He was carried to the changing table and laid on it, staring up at his Mommy. “No diaper today, Mommy?” The baby asked, a question that was going to become tradition. “Please? I only have accidents at night.” He stayed still for the first part of his diaper change, spreading his legs for Mommy to untape his wet diaper, pull it back and lift his legs to wipe him up. But once he was denied his request to be out of diapers even for the day, James became less cooperative for his diaper change. “No, no diaper. No diaper. No diiii-perrr!” He whined as Hailey unfolded a fresh diaper. Still, he didn’t attempt to escape, because a little part of him was beginning to like how little he was. By the time James was dressed he was whimpering and carrying and on. Brought to the rocking chair, his cries were subdued by the nipple pushed between his lips. Hungry, thirsty, and needing to soothe, he abandoned his plight to nurse in the cradled position and stare up at his Mommy through teary eyes.

James nursed steadily while Hailey read to him. The book was so simple, so infantile, so refreshing to his flustered brain. He could erase all the endless emails and jargon and let himself be fascinated by the little things again. He gurgled and pointed at a page with a horse on it, and poked at Mommy’s nose when she snorted for the pig. When his bottle ran dry it was gently pulled from his grasp, and soon he was propped up over Mommy’s shoulder and burped like an infant. But what a difference it made. James melted back into his Mommy’s arms, humming a tiny goodnight and nestling closer. The baby was up a few times in the night. Once when Hailey came to bed, then again around three in the morning. This was when he’d usually get up to go potty, or on rare occasions wake up to wet sheets. He mumbled as he stirred and tried to nudge Hailey. “Mommy. Mommy, potty.” But Mommy was fast asleep. He nudged her again, only to have his binky drearily inserted into his mouth. Not wanting to leave his comfy nest, he leaned a little further into his role and chose instead to use his diaper. The cushy padding swelled warm and wet, spreading across his crotch and in between his legs. He closed his eyes and sucked his pacifier, letting himself be lulled back to sleep by the warmth. The long sleep left him groggy in the morning. James squinted against the light when he felt his Mommy’s hand. His binky half hung out of his mouth as he half heard the question. “What is it..?”

James turned his head to look at the clock. It was only 7:30. ‘Too late’, Mommy had said. That made him feel incredibly little. Years of pulling all nighters had conditioned his body to staying up late, but they had also made him immeasurably tired. He held still and patient as Hailey untaped his diaper, sucking away at his binky as the front was pulled back and he was wiped clean. He watched as his Mommy got out a thick printed nighttime diaper and slid it underneath his bottom, and lifted his legs to powder him before pulling it between his legs to his waist and taping it snuggly. Rosy-cheeked, James babbled a little and squirmed in place. When he was all dressed for the night and put on the ground, he toddled to the bookshelf and picked out the babiest book he could find and turned to present it to Mommy. “Baba!” He said when he caught sight of his bottle, and was quickly scooped up and taken to bed. Cradled in the crook of her arm, his pacifier was slipped out and replaced with the nipple. James welcomed it and latched on, suckling contently while Mommy read his book.

Missy? Ben makes a face. He thought he’d made it clear he wasn’t a girl. Just a little baby boy. Alone in the nursery, Ben tried to make himself comfortable in the crib. The baby monitor picked up the sounds of him suckling on his pacifier and rolling onto his belly. Little babies have accidents in their cribs at nap time. Ben made himself no exception. The tinkling nursery rhymes played their soft melody as the front of his diaper grew warm and wet, the padding swelling so it was hardly noticeable. Feeling good, he finally drifted off to sleep.

Ben’s eyes widened. He didn’t want that. Laid on his back in the crib, Ben squirmed a little as he got used to the thick diaper he had on. He looks up at the legendary and sucked on his binky, no longer fussing about his nap.

“But I’m not thleepy.” Ben protested.

Ben blinked up at Angela, his reddened face growing darker with embarrassment and bashfulness. He teetered in his crib, feeling the cushy mattress underneath, and gripped the white wooden bars with his hands. “It’th not bedtime already, ith it?” He asked behind his pacifier.

James gave a little whine and lifted his arms to be picked up. Haley’s strength had surprised him at first, but he’d quickly grown to find it immensely comforting. Being babied so heavily brought out the baby in him. The more he was held the less he wanted to walk. The more he was fed the less he wanted to eat like a big boy. The more he was baby talked the less words he wanted to use. James put his thumb in his mouth and rested his head on Haley’s shoulder, taking comfort in her words. He felt her finger poke under his onesie and pull at the leg gathers of his diaper. His face grew red and hot. He had gone potty while he was playing with his toys. It had crossed his mind to ask for a diaper change earlier but he’d been so preoccupied that he had forgot. His whimpers dying down, James settled in his Mommy’s arms and sucked his thumb. He was carried to the nursery and placed on the changing table. His thumb came out of his mouth when he was told it was time for night night. “I thought we were gonna watch a show…” He said, only to have his pacifier put in his mouth. The momentary protested melted into infantile suckling. He opened his legs for Mommy to unsnap the crotch of his onesie and reveal his soggy diaper, and nodded dreamily in support of cuddles, humming his answer between rhythmic skuk, skuk, skukking.

James grew restless in his high chair. “Does Sarah know I’m a baby?” He asked. “Is she okay with it?” He wanted to ask if he could wear adult clothes and just be close to Haley when they were out and about, but Mommy had made it very clear that he was a baby and babies wear diapers. He made a face as Mommy wiped his mouth and hands and told him he couldn’t have his phone. “But I need it!” He protested. What he needed most was time away from his phone, but he couldn’t help it. He was addicted. “Mommy!” He whined as he Haley removed the tray from his highchair and unbuckled him, then lifted him out and set him on the ground. His thick diaper kept him in a wide stance, and the onesie kept the state of it a mystery. Still in his bib, he toddled after Haley into the kitchen. “Mommy I’m scared about tomorrow.”

The experience was overwhelming for Ben. Second thoughts mixed with the desire to let go, and soon his whimpering turned into little cries as he was put in a onesie. “Awa…awaaaah..!” He raised his arms for Mommy to carry him, only to be set down on his crib and a pacifier put in his mouth. It silenced him immediately, replacing his whining with the sound of suckling. Skuk, skuk, skuk…

A rush of indignant energy made James squirm in his seat when he was told he couldn’t have solid food anymore. He scrunched up his face and kicked his legs, squirming in his high chair. “Mmmmno!” He exclaimed and let out a little cry, only to be met with another spoonful of mush. He smacked his lips together and pouted, turning his head away from the choo-choo that followed, but was coaxed with a little more cooing. He didn’t actually mind the baby food all that much. In fact, he kind of liked it. The principle of being big started to fall away the more Mommy fed him until he’d shelved the argument entirely. In fact, he had started to enjoy it. A little smile formed on his face once he was all done. He clapped his hands together once and reached for his bottle, slipping the nipple into his mouth. He nursed his bottle until it ran dry and set it down sideways on the tray, calling out, “All done!” when he finished. “Baba done.” He declared again when his Mommy came back. The first half of tomorrows plans went by just fine for James. He figured they’d have to put a pause on his baby time while Mommy was at work. But then Mommy said he’d have to come with her. The latest spoonful of ice cream dribbled down his chin. “I.. I was thinking more I’d ask for some phone time while you were gone. Catch up on some emails. I-I don’t need a sitter.”

James eagerly accepted his bottle, sliding the silicone nipple into his mouth and tipping it back to drink. He nodded his head at his Mommy’s question and hummed a little “mm-hmm” in reply. He was carried from the nursery and placed in his highchair, a tradition the baby was quickly becoming used to. He lifted his elbows so Hailey could buckle him in and fasten the tray in place, not breaking focus from his bottle just yet. It wasn’t until Hailey set down the bowl of baby food that the diapered man put down his bottle. A drop of juice dribbled down his chin and only his newly tied bib. He wasn’t expecting baby food. He didn’t even know what it was. This proved that he was most certainly not a big boy, but not even a toddler. But Mommy didn’t want him fussing. Trying not to pout, James bravely opened his mouth and let his Mommy spoon feed him a bite. It was wet and sludgy, with the sharpness of cheese but the flavour of chicken and broccoli. Gradually, James’ grimace softened. “I did it, Mommy.” He said. “Can I have real food after?”

Rattle in hand, there was briefly a moment of ridiculous feeling to be entertaining himself with a baby’s toy. James pushed it aside. The nursery, the pastel colours, the plush carpet, and the diaper formed a hold that was tough to override. Sat on his bottom with his legs splayed apart, the baby shook his rattle. He bonked it against the ground and the side of his toy chest until his arm grew sore, then he tossed it aside and searched for a new toy. Soon he was surrounded by colourful plastic merrymakers that lit up and made noise while he sucked on a teether and tested each one like it was the first time he’d seen such magic in all his years of coding and web development. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he’d become until Hailey returned. He was more than happy to abandon his toys and push himself to his feet and waddle to his Mommy with his hands outstretched.