Guinea pig [CH6 2021/03/03]

[Lucius]

Glad to see another chapter of this!

[Pierry Louys]

So happy that this is back !!! Please don’t take much time for the next part !,,

Ps i was hoping that his mommy use some pampers in his size heheh

[Sarah Penguin]

[Jayme]

J, this is fantastic. I can't seem to find the words to describe the complexity of what is happening to Jay. The nightmare(s), the agreement to help his mom test the products, and being lonely. Although I wonder if he found his keys inside as that was never hinted at. I eagerly anticipate your next chapter! Thank you for sharing your wonderful story with us here.

[TheJ]

15 hours ago, Pierry Louys said:

So happy that this is back !!! Please don’t take much time for the next part !,,

Ps i was hoping that his mommy use some pampers in his size heheh

I'll have to see... I should be relatively free this month to keep writing the story.
 

1 hour ago, Jayme said:

J, this is fantastic. I can't seem to find the words to describe the complexity of what is happening to Jay. The nightmare(s), the agreement to help his mom test the products, and being lonely. Although I wonder if he found his keys inside as that was never hinted at. I eagerly anticipate your next chapter! Thank you for sharing your wonderful story with us here.

I appreciate the compliments!

I'm going to be honest, as soon as I had published the chapter I realized I forgot to follow up with what happened to the keys due to getting invested in writing about the diaper conflict. I quickly sneaked the keys back in picture in the story when Jay wakes up from his nightmare. They shine on the nightstand when the phone's screen goes on. It wasn't ideal fix, but the best I could come up with in the heat of the moment.

[Eagle0769]

I don't find anything wrong with your English. So there are a few his/her mistakes but it doesn't take away what great writing skills you have. I love the story I'd loved this story even if you used another name then Jay but I like it more be cause my name is Jay. Lol keep going we all love your story. 

[CDfm]

This was a very well done chapter. Shannon was awesome at how she convinced Jay to accept the diaper and new clothes. I am sure it’s going to become a bit harder to accept Hayleigh changing him and helping with the cloths. I almost would like to see Jay resist some and take his wet diaper off. That way the more secure jammies would become a necessity. Well worth a like and I am looking forward to reading more. 

[vageta2vagetto]

i really hope this gets continued.

[Pierry Louys]

I hope to !!!

[Sarah Penguin]

hope you'll have time/muse/dancing hamsters soon to write more

[Pierry Louys]

I hope too !!!

[TheJ]

I'm delighted to see you've enjoyed the story so far and are looking forward for more! I popped in to announce that I've not forgotten about these forums and this story.

Matter of fact, the next chapter should be out soon. I burned some midnight oil tonight to finally finish writing it. I just need to give it few rounds of proofreading tomorrow. It's something I hadn't done too well for the previous chapters.

[TheJ]

Chapter 3: Running away

 

The early wakeup would have been pleasant had it been induced by the sunlight sneaking around the blinds or the birds chirping outside. Instead it was the sensation coming from Jay’s bladder that woke him up. It had filled overnight.

Jay wanted to stay in the warm bed. It was too early to go get up at 6 am on a holiday. As his thought processes got up to speed, he remembered what he was wearing. He could just let go and try to get back to sleep. He sat up on the soft mattress. But would the diaper hold? That was a crucial question Jay couldn’t answer. He thought about how much he had already challenged the diaper with. It still felt somewhat dry beneath him, but was it just trying to give him false sense of security? He was unexperienced in the field of wetting himself — a shortcoming he took peculiar pride in — so he thought that perhaps it was for the best to play it safe.

Wiping his sleepy eyes with tips of his fingers, Jay stood up on the cool wood floor. He sneaked out to the hallway and tiptoed past Hayleigh’s room towards the toilet, but stopped to scratch his blond head. His big sister could wake up from the sound of flushing the toilet. While she was a morning person, she still wasn’t a great fan of unnecessarily early awakenings, something Jay had learned the hard way by inviting her to watch cartoons with him one early and lonesome morning.

Jay tiptoed to Hayleigh’s door, moving his weight from one foot to another carefully to avoid making the floor cry with creaks. The anti-slip soles of his pajamas weren’t the most silent, but there was only so much he could do about it.  He grabbed the handle and begun pulling the door closed, holding his breath. Audible squeak came from the hinges and Jay grimaced. Jay’s heart almost stopped when he saw Hayleigh shift in her bed. After standing still like a deer in car’s headlights, waiting the inevitable contact and death, Jay let out a sigh. Hayleigh hadn’t lifted her head, so she must still have been asleep. The door came closed with a quiet click.

In the bathroom at the end of the hallway, Jay unzipped his pajamas and got rid of the wet, slightly yellow disposable undergarment. Relieving himself to the toilet was so much more comfortable. Why had he even agreed to give that away? Right, the Xbox. That was why, he reminded himself. The toilet flushed and Jay started thinking of the next step. Where had his mother put the pack of diapers? She hadn’t left it in Jay’s room, that he was sure about. Looking into the few cabinets of the bathroom showed him it wasn’t in there either. Deciding it wasn’t worth the effort to go looking for the pack, he just zipped the pajamas back on. He wouldn’t have gotten the diaper on right anyway.

Jay repeated the process with Hayleigh’s door, but in reverse. He managed to open the door without squeaks and found his sister still asleep. With a touch of pride from his ninjalike performance, he slowly tiptoed towards his room.

“So, you thought you could sneak to the toilet.”

Jay froze with his hand on the handle of his room’s door. Turning his head to the right, he saw Hayleigh leaning against the hallway wall, her hands crossed.

“I, I… I wasn’t sneaking,” Jay said and cursed his stuttering. His tongue had betrayed him and made it seem like he was trying to make up an excuse.

“Sure, little brother. Why else would you close my door on the way to the bathroom?”

“I… I just didn’t want to wake you up. I know you don’t like getting up early. I was just… Trying to be nice,” Jay explained. Hayleigh didn’t believe him for a second.

“What I think is that you didn’t want to go in your diaper like you agreed with mom, so you snuck to the toilet while we were sleeping.”

Jay shook his head. “No, no. I had already wet it once. It would have leaked.”

“Right, as if it wouldn’t hold at least two wettings.” Hayleigh rolled her eyes.

“How should I know?” Jay said, starting to get frustrated with his skeptic sister.

“Well, did it feel wet?”

“Super wet!” Jay quickly answered.

“Jay…”

“Okay! Not really... But I totally thought it would leak!” Jay tried to assure Hayleigh, but realized she definitely wouldn’t believe him now.

“Sure you did. If mom hears about this episode, it’s all back zipper pajamas for you.”

Jay panicked. “You can’t tell mom! It’s not fair!”

Hayleigh stopped to ponder, making Jay practically hold his breath.

“I have conditions,” Hayleigh begun and paused.

“Yes, what?” Jay asked from the big sister who was taking pleasure in his squirming. “Tell me!”

“You come to the arcade with Maisy and me today and have fun playing with us, and now let me put you into a fresh diaper without complaints.”

“Why postpone something that will happen anyway,” Jay thought.

“Fine, but I could put one o—”

“No complaints!” Hayleigh reminded and continued, “Go to your room. I’ll be right behind you with the supplies.”

When Hayleigh came to Jay’s room carrying a bottle of lotion and a new diaper, the boy was laying over the changing pad on his bed expectantly. He had already taken the pajamas off in the fear that one wrong move — no matter the size — would make Hayleigh call off the deal.

Hayleigh went about putting the diaper on Jay much the similar way as Shannon. She unfolded it, lifted Jay’s bum by holding his legs to slide the diaper underneath him. The additional ingredient was the lotion. Jay blushed when Hayleigh squeezed some lotion from the bottle on her hand and started spreading it on Jay’s rear and front, as if it was nothing out of ordinary.

“I should have made 10 slaps on this cute butt part of the conditions,” she joked. Jay just stared at her.

“Too weird?” she asked, taping the diaper on snugly.

“Too weird,” Jay confirmed.

“So, what’s the choice of attire today. Are you sporting the t-shirt and diaper look? It’s trendy this summer,” Hayleigh kidded while patting the front of Jay’s protection. Jay just shook his head.

“Hmm, let’s see what kind of fashion your wardrobe holds, brother,” Hayleigh thought aloud and opened the door that held Jay’s clothes behind it.

“Oh, I found the perfect combination,” she cheered, taking out a black t-shirt with small white sheep on it. The t-shirt hadn’t been his go-to choice for a long while, because he thought it was childish. It was accompanied by the shorts he had had the pleasure to get to know the day before. After Hayleigh had pulled them over his diaper, zipped them closed and buckled them up, it was clear to Jay that the shorts delivered what they promised. The shorts kept the diaper in place, making sure Jay wouldn’t forget about the presence of the padding all too easily.

Jay lifted his hands to allow Hayleigh to pull the t-shirt over his head. He inspected the outfit carefully from his mirror. He had to give the shorts some credit. The tight interior and the loose exterior worked together to muffle the crinkling and to hide most of the diaper bulk. Not all of it, but you would have to look carefully twice before being sure of Jay’s underwear.

 

***

 

“Jay, why are you in a diaper?” was almost the first thing that Maisy asked when she came over. “I’m sorry if it’s an awkward question. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Jay stuttered, “Uuuh… I… I’m…”

“He’s being mom’s guinea pig for the summer, testing the stuff from her work,” Hayleigh answered for her brother. Maisy looked funny at Jay, expecting a confirmation.

“Y-yeah,” Jay said.

“That’s cool! I have some babysitting experience, so if you ever need anything, I got your back. I promise I won’t tease you like your sister does,” Maisy winked at Jay who blushed.

“What? I don’t tease him,” Hayleigh tried to defend herself and Jay just shot her the “really” look. “Whatever. Let’s go,” Hayleigh said as she turned around to the door. Maisy and Jay gave each other a fist bump behind her back.

The trio had walked a fair distance away from the house when Hayleigh realized what she had forgotten.

“I forgot to put you in your harness, Jay.”

“He has a harness? Sweet! No point going back to get it anymore, but we so need remember it the next time we go somewhere. I would kill to hold the leash.”

Jay blushed even redder while listening to the two.

“Who’s teasing him now,” Hayleigh muttered.

“Ehm… So, which game do I get to beat you in first?” Maisy changed the subject.

“The dance game, and for the record, you’re such a stick I can beat you without moving my legs,” Hayleigh boasted. Jay hadn’t thought about the possibility of the girls wanting to play the games he would normally pass staying far away, but it’s not like he had an option to stay at home.

“Dance game? I thought we were going to the arcade to have fun,” he complained.

Hayleigh rolled her eyes, “Dancing is fun! Don’t be such a drag!”

Maisy came up with a compromise. “We can play air hockey first, but we are going to see that fluffy butt shake before we leave.”

“Stop it! I don’t want to play anything with you goofs.”

“That’s too bad. We should have brought the harness, don’t you think?” Maisy asked Hayleigh to tease Jay.

“I hate you,” Jay said, making an effort to sound cold. The girls just chuckled.

They walked down the main street to a building that looked like a movie theatre. In fact, it was an old movie theatre, but the neon sign above it put the message across well in daylight: ARCADE. At night time it struggled due to the burnt out “D” giving it a rather biblical meaning. The barred-up windows made the building less welcoming. The three kids knew better than to judge the arcade from its exterior. As soon as they set foot in through the door, they could see the cushy sofas of the lounge bar that only served soft drinks at daytime. Further in were the games of various ages with their flashing lights. Against one wall there was a flipper that could have been sold as vintage and against another there was a brand-new racing simulator with a motion seat. The simulator was new to Jay. He had gone to the arcade almost once a month before, but hadn’t paid a visit at all earlier that year. He wanted to try the simulator, but the uninviting long queue made him leave it for later.

Maisy paid for herself and Hayleigh took care of herself and Jay. The arcade didn’t go the old-school ticket per playtime line. They just had to pay for the hours they wanted to play all the games. Jay only remembered coming to the arcade once or twice before they switched away from the old-school way. He used to even have a season pass, that avid visitor he had been.

“We cannot play air hockey without finding out, or should I say, fighting out the air hockey master,” Maisy announced ceremoniously, and then pointed at Jay. “You, me first.”

“You’re on!” Jay said, stretching his fingers. Maisy surprised him by slamming the puck in Jay’s goal before he was ready. The electronic score board updated to 1-0.

“Hey! That’s not fair!”

“Who said we were playing it fair,” Maisy said, grinning. Jay dug the puck out of his goal and started the intense battle to solve who would come first in the opening match. The match didn’t see any goals scored for a minute. It turned out minute was the time it took for Jay to warm up. In just a short time Jay scored to tie the game, take the lead and increase it by one. They were halfway through the match when Maisy managed to cut Jay’s lead to one goal with powerful shot that rebounded from the side and slipped through Jay’s defence.

Hayleigh was following the match idly from the side when Jay caught her attention. It wasn’t his advanced playing technique but his clothes. When Jay leaned over the large air hockey table to compensate what he lacked in height and length of arms to Maisy, his shirt rode up and revealed the plastic of the diaper that peaked out of his shorts. While the shorts were buckled nice and tight, not sagging by any means, the diaper just had high waistline they couldn’t cover. Hayleigh scanned the arcade to evaluate the situation. There were mainly young adults, apart from three teens about her age and two preteens a little older than her brother. Jay hadn’t attracted any attention, so Hayleigh decided to not say a word. Telling Jay would leave him embarrassed and self-conscious while there was no point for him to be. If she said something, she was sure Jay wouldn’t be able to let go and have fun for rest of their stay.

The match ended 3-2 in Jay’s favour. His defence held against the battering from Maisy. Maisy suggested that she would play against Hayleigh and whoever would come out better from that match would be the one to challenge Jay in the final match. Hayleigh took over Jay’s spot, and so the match begun. The match seemed even for the first half a minute. Then Hayleigh started slamming in goal after goal. Maisy struggled to get any shots at Hayleigh’s goal, let alone shots that were tricky to defend. When the five minutes were nearing the end, the score was 6-0. Hayleigh was a hint too late to react to one of Maisy’s shots. It slipped through, hit the back wall, rebounded, hit the back of Hayleigh’s pusher and went into the goal. Maisy celebrated the goal way too zestfully, given that she was 5 goals down. It was too little too late. Perhaps it was just that she felt victorious over beating the seemingly unbeatable opponent at least in some way.

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Hayleigh said and put her pusher into spin on the table. “Next!”

“You better show her. I have faith in you!” Maisy said dramatically, holding Jay’s hand as if she was a fallen soldier saying her last words.

The epitome of sibling rivalry — at least for siblings of their age — got its beginning. Hayleigh was first to score, which only made Maisy chant louder for Jay. After the puck had gone back and forth for minute and a half, Jay tied the score to 1-1. He lost his focus after scoring and Hayleigh was eager to penalize him by scoring twice. The last was minute was ticking down. Hayleigh made the same mistake she made against Maisy. The puck rebounded from the back wall to her pusher and into her goal. Jay realized that this was his key to victory. He needed to hit the puck at a small angle from the side to Hayleigh’s backwall and hope for the best. His tactic paid off and the puck slipped through from left side and rebounded into Hayleigh’s goal. The score was tied and clock was ticking down the last ten seconds. Those seconds weren’t enough for them to solve once and for all who was the best of them.

“Golden goal! Golden goal!” Maisy chanted. “First to score takes it all.”

“Fine by me,” Hayleigh said and continued, “I’ll sweep the floor with this kid.”

Jay restarted the match. “Yea right!”

The two made all kinds of noises as they fought for the figurative crown of the champion. They challenged each others’ reflexes to the limit. Jay tried again and again to get pass Hayleigh with the trick that had worked before. Hayleigh, however, had learned her lesson. Three minutes of intense swinging went by before Jay made a fatal mistake. He got bit too eager to finish the game and leaned bit too far over the table to hit the puck. The shot was weak and Hayleigh easily answered to it with power. Jay almost got his defence back up in time, but the puck bounced from the side nastily and slipped in one side up between the goalpost and Jay’s pusher.

“Victory!” Hayleigh celebrated, throwing her hands up in the air.

Jay groaned. “Frick! Ugh, this game is so broken!”

“There’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t be so sore loser, little brother.” Hayleigh walked around the table to pat Jay on the head.

“Sister takes the win this time. Hey, don’t worry Jay, your time will come when Hayleigh gets old and slow, but now it’s dance time!”

They found their way over to the dance games and picked the one for two players. It had four pads with arrows for each player. The objective was to hit the pads in the order and rhythm shown on the screen. The one to get it the closest to correct would score the most points.

Maisy dragged Jay onto one of the dancing platforms. “Jay, you are dancing with me first. That’s your punishment for losing to Hayleigh.”

“Nooo, I’m not doing this.”

“Oh yes you are! We played air hockey first, so we are seeing your butt shake next,” Maisy reminded Jay about their agreement while she scrolled the song list. “I know just the perfect song…”

Maisy selected Shut Up and Dance from the list, and hit start. It took couple of steps for Jay to get the hang of the game. Before long he was getting the steps and timing right. Hayleigh followed the numbers develop on the scoreboard with wide eyes. When the last beat had played, Jay had left Maisy behind by 15,000 points.

“Woah! You really are a stick, Maisy,” Hayleigh joked.

Maisy was bemused. “Impossible! You have played this before, haven’t you?”

Jay just shook his head. “Nope, never. Is that a good score?” His smile was getting wider as it dawned on him that he had done something unexpectedly good.

“Way better than mine!”

Hayleigh waved at Maisy. “Get out of there. Let me show the boy how it’s done.”

Maisy step behind the siblings that were getting ready for another round of rivalry. Hayleigh scrolled the list to find the next song.

“Let’s see how you do when we pick up the speed…” Hayleigh said ominously. She chose Grand Chariot; a song Jay had never even heard about. It was nothing like the previous song in tempo. It was fast, crazy fast. Their one foot barely hit the platform when the other was already up and in move. Yet Jay showed no signs of struggling to keep up. To Maisy’s amusement, Jay’s diaper peeked from underneath his shirt and shorts as he threw himself into some of the harder moves. By the end Hayleigh was out of breath and sweaty. Jay just stretched his arms casually. The score was much the same way as previous time, except Jay beat Hayleigh by double the amount he beat Maisy.

“Let me show,” Maisy mocked Hayleigh.

“How are you so good at this?! I don’t get it.” Hayleigh’s hands were on her messy hair.

“He’s a natural. You need to give us handicap, kid!”

Jay giggled. “This was kinda fun, but I’m going to play something else. You can dance.”

“Aww, okay then. Hayleigh, let me show you how it’s done.”

“We’ll see about that, stick!”

Jay went off his way. He knew exactly what he wanted to play. It was in the remote corner of the arcade among the other old machines. It was an old flipper game. Above it on the wall, underneath a light was a framed picture. It seemed like it was destined to be there, waiting for Jay, just to upset him the way it did. In the picture was Rhys, smiling. His eyes drilled into Jay from the wall the way they had never done before. The feeling the picture aroused used to be pride that tingles inside you, making you smile and giggle. That feeling was far gone. To Jay the picture was radiating with agony and grief.

Jay turned to walk away, to protect himself from the wave of misery. When he turned, all he saw was Rhys. Rhys taking shots at virtual monsters running his way, Rhys hitting the puck away from his goal, Rhys dancing with his distinctive sunglasses, Rhys driving a race at Nürburgring. Jay closed his eyes shut tight. He gathered all the drops of courage he could find from himself before opening them again. He didn’t see Rhys anywhere. He took few deep breaths and turned around to look back at the flipper machine before walking away, and there Rhys was, beating his own high score. Jay had used up all his courage. He broke down and ran out of the arcade, without even noticing that he bumped into someone that was waiting for their turn at the monster shooter game.

Jay collapsed down onto the curb. He couldn’t understand how he could have forgotten the picture was there. It was Rhys who had taught him to play the game. It was Rhys who had taken him to the arcade once a month. It was Rhys who made him stop going. It was Rhys. Perhaps it was everything that had been happening. Maybe it was how the girls had lightened his mood. Having fun had made him drop his guard down and had allowed him to forget with the price of everything coming back to his mind, like the toys that fell right back onto the floor of his room when he opened the door of his closet where he had carelessly “tidied” them.

It didn’t take long for the girls to come looking for him. Hayleigh was both annoyed and worried when she came up to Jay. Jay could hear it from her voice.

“What are you doing out here? We looked for you all around the arcade. You can’t run off like that!”

The girls were leaning over Jay, who saw them as looming figures at the sides of his vision.

“What’s going on, Jay?” Maisy asked.

“I… I just want to go home. I got bored.”

“What? We hardly played anything yet! And you said you wanted to try the simulator.” Hayleigh was starting to sound more annoyed than worried.

Maisy tried to be more understanding. “That can’t be it, Jay. What is it? Did we do something?”

“No! No. I just want to go home,” Jay said, turning to watch Maisy while trying his best to look nonchalant.

“We still have an hour left on our tickets that would go to waste!” Hayleigh retorted.

Jay stood up and begun walking away. “You can stay and have fun. I’m going home.”

“Fine!” Hayleigh balled up the tickets and threw them in a nearby trashcan.

 

***

 

The diaper changes were finding their place in the daily routines already after so few had taken place. Jay had had his second wetting since his return to diapers. The soaking came with more difficulty from him than the first, given his vulnerable state of mind when the first took place. Shannon had changed Jay into fresh protection and now had to bring up a subject. A subject she sensed Jay wasn’t in the mood for. There had been enough delaying and beating around the bush, so she decided to just say what she had to say. It would be better now than at the bedtime. Jay would have time to get used to the idea and he wouldn’t be as worked up when he was supposed to slumber.

Shannon laid it out to Jay, “I think it’s better you only wear the back-zippered pajamas in bed from now on.”

It took Jay a moment to put two and two together. “No! It wasn’t like that. I didn’t… I thought the dia—”

“You were going to be wearing those pjs regardless,” Shannon interrupted. “I don’t mean it that way, honey.”

“But you do! You do! It’s not fair! I didn’t do it to be bad, but you never believe me!” Jay shouted.

“Jay, do not yell at me. That is not how we solve our problems,” Shannon told her son calmly. Jay looked away sulkily.

“Leave me alone.”

“I will leave you be as soon as you ask me nicely.”

Jay bit his lip in anger and complied with his mother’s wishes. “Can I please be alone, mom?”

Shannon patted Jay’s lap and went to the door. “I’ll be back later to get you ready for bed.”

With that said, she left Jay to mope alone which he didn’t do for long. His anger picked up, and with balled fists, he rushed into his sister’s room. Hayleigh was lying on her bed and didn’t show any sign of surprise when she lifter her eyes to Jay from her phone.

“You promised!” Jay shouted.

“Promised what? And keep your voice down unless you want mom to come up here,” Hayleigh played stupid.

“You promised not to tell mom if I came to the arcade with you!” Jay hissed.

“Oh that… The deal was already off when we left the arcade an hour early. Did I forgot to mention? My bad,” Hayleigh said sneeringly.

Jay’s other hand remained balled on his side while the other pointed at Hayleigh. “I trusted you!”

Those particular words poked holes in Hayleigh’s calm face. Now it was her turn to flare up.

“When was the last time you trusted me with anything? You don’t talk with me. You just close up and tell me to fuck off!” she hissed.

“There’s nothing I want to tell you!” Jay said, slipping back to shouting with the last words.

Hayleigh jumped up from the bed and leaned right into her little brother’s face. “Then it’s about time I return the favour. Fuck off!”

Jay stormed back to his room and flopped on his bed. He used the pillows to muffle his scream of vexation. His thoughts slowly stopped racing for the spot on the top of his mind as he lied on the bed, allowing him to doze off. He didn’t wake up until he felt someone tickle his foot.

“Did you go out like a light as soon as I left?” Shannon asked. Jay nodded. Shannon couldn’t have heard his argument with Hayleigh.

“I could have just gotten you ready for bed earlier. You seem to be on little better mood at least.”

Jay remained silent, not counting the yawn, and gave another nod.

“Well then, time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Do you need to go potty?”

Jay wasn’t sure did he hear right. Potty? Really? Had they reached a new low again after who knows how many times?

“Mom! I’m not three!”

“Don’t be silly. It’s just an innocent word for toilet. Do you need to?”

Jay was reluctant, but answered affirmatively, and let Shannon take off his shorts and untape the diaper. In just his sheep shirt and socks he went off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and empty his bowel. When he was finished, his mother had brought a new diaper and taken out the escape-proof version of his pajamas. Jay shuddered, but did what he had to, allowed Shannon to motherly wrap the diaper on him. The pajamas followed after Shannon had ran her finger around the leg gathers of the diaper. First went in his legs. Shannon helped Jay up from the bed and promptly turned him around to secure the zipper and the tabs. Jay was now stuck in the jail jammies which was what he had chosen to call the garment. It was ironic given the stark contrast between the warm, soft pajamas and a cold, harsh concrete cell. The black and white stripes of the pajamas helped with meeting the description.

Shannon inspected how the pajamas fit. They weren’t skin-tight, but there wasn’t too much slack either. The round shape of the diaper’s padding showed through, mostly on the rear side. Being satisfied with what she saw, she guided Jay back to the bed and tugged him in.

“You can read until it’s ten. Then it’s lights out and sweet dreams.”

Jay didn’t hold up long against the alluring calls of the dreamland. When Shannon returned there was only a boy slumbering beneath a comic book to kiss good night to.

 

***

 

Jay found himself sitting in a patio chair on the backyard. He was still wearing his jammies and diaper. The sun was blazing down on him. Jay swore it appeared bigger than it ordinarily was. A smell of barbeque stole his attention away from the hot heavenly body.

“You liked your chicken wings wrapped in bacon, didn’t you?” Rhys asked. He was donning a black apron with red and white text: Hot grill, hotter chef. Casually he flipped the wings on the grill. Another voice spoke up.

“Eww, you’re such a weirdo,” Hayleigh twitted, walking up to Rhys to examine the barbeque being prepared.

“It’s not that bad combination. You should try it too,” Rhys suggested.

“Nah, thanks for the offer, dad. I’ll pass.” Hayleigh returned to the patio table where tableware that she had brought out to set the table was sitting in a pile. Jay just sat in the chair, breaking a sweat in his attire that was misfit to the weather.

“The pieces of cooked prey are all set for consumption by the hungry mature Homo sapiens specimen and its offspring,” Rhys said, trying to put on his best impression of nature documentary narrator voice as he brought the wings from the grill. Jay had moved over to sit at the table. He was yet to say a word. A gloomy feeling that as soon as he would open his mouth the nightmare would begin was shading him, keeping him quiet. He couldn’t even bring himself to thank his father who passed him the bacon wrapped wings. Hayleigh appeared from the backdoor carrying a dish of fries. There was also a bowl of salad that had been brought to the table earlier.

“Perfect! That should be all,” Rhys announced and crammed some fries onto his plate to accompany the wings and salad.

Jay was emptying more glasses of water than he was taking bites of his food. It only made his skin leak more of the salty liquid. He couldn’t take the heat anymore and tried to reach out for the tabs on his back to unzip the pajamas. Just like the sleeper was designed to, it wouldn’t budge under Jay’s attempts to undress.

He gave up and spoke at last, “Could someone help me out of this?”

“I’ll get it off you,” Rhys offered and stood up. Expecting his father to walk around the table and unzip the pajamas, Jay was left bewildered when he walked to the opposite direction to the grill. He picked up something, a bottle, and returned. Jay recognized the red and black sign on the clear bottle: flammable. Rhys had always warned Jay about using the charcoal lighter fluid at moderation. Now he stood there, unscrewing the bottle cap.

“Da— dad? What are you doing?” Jay asked. The alarm bells in his head had started to ring.

“Isn’t it obvious, kiddo? Helping you.”

The bottle cap was now off and the alarm bells in Jay’s head were now playing the opening notes of an epic symphony.

“No— not like that, dad. Please,” Jay begged.

“If you’re that skeptic, I’ll test it on your sister first,” Rhys laughed. His expression steeled in split second and he tossed half of the bottle’s contents at Hayleigh. She sprung up from her chair.

“Dad! What the hell?” she shouted. Jay just stared at his frenzied sister. The symphony in Jay’s head was reaching its climax. Scratch of a match returned his gaze to Rhys, and faster than he could realize, Rhys threw the match at Hayleigh, who was engulfed by blue, yellow and orange. Her eardrum piercing screams echoed over the symphony of alarm bells, until they didn’t anymore. The bells eerily faded out the way the screams had. The sole sound Jay could hear was Rhys breathing into his ear. He was holding the burning match inches from Jay’s face.

“You hated her, just like you hate your jail jammies,” he said and let go of the match. The enormous sun that started it all shone on Jay as the flames ate him alive.

 

***

 

“No!” Jay woke up, shouting. He was gripping the front of his pajamas, convinced they were on fire, trying to rip them off. However, it was dark in the room. There were no flames dancing on top of him. It all had been product of his hurt mind trying to end the yearn for his father. The calls of dreamland had proved to be siren’s singing again, luring Jay into another night of terrors.

On the other side of the wall, Hayleigh was still awake. She had heard Jay wake up from another nightmare, shouting. She almost left her bed to offer comfort to Jay, but held onto her grudge instead. Jay had chosen to keep her at distance, so she would stay exactly there. No matter how loud Jay would cry, the tears would be his to dry.

[SoakedinTexas]

Pretty good story. Hope he enjoys his Guinea Pig time.  

[Sarah Penguin]

[Jayme]

Wow the emotional pain that Jay is carrying is causing rifts, hopefully his mother and sister soon realise the depth of Jay's pain for all their sakes.

Another wonderful chapter and you J are very talented. Thank you for sharing with us here.

[TheJ]

Chapter 4: Making promises

 

The rhythm of the rain beating Jay’s window changed along with the howls of wind. Jay pulled the blinds open, and the raindrops rolling down the window in front of the grey, unwelcoming view pulled Jay’s mood down along with them. He kept staring out to the rainy weather, hoping it would help him relieve his morning pee in the dry diaper. As two raindrops unified to form one big drop that raced down to the window’s bottom frame, Jay got a stream started with couple of bursts before it steadied itself. When he was done, Jay tugged on the crotch of his jammies to see had the warm and swollen diaper leaked. He couldn’t find any dark, wet spots.

The house was on the cool side due to the storm-front passing over the town, making Jay glad that he now had the new footed jammies. If only the jammies he was wearing didn’t have the zipper in so inconvenient place, they would be perfect, Jay was thinking as he padded the upstairs hallway toward the stairs. At the top of the stairs he felt the twisting conflict inside him. He had given up wearing one-piece sleepers few years ago, because they were childish. Shannon hadn’t objected, and only bought him pajama tops and bottoms from then on. How could he now think of his footed jammies as near perfect?

Jay’s tummy gurgled telling him it was time to stop self-observation and get some breakfast. Downstairs he found Hayleigh on the sofa accompanied by mug of hot chocolate. She was watching some house flipping TV show. Before and after shots were rolling, showing how some house had been turned from dark and outdated to modern and clinically white.

“Morning,” Jay said.

“Mom’s at office. Help yourself a toast, cereal or whatever for breakfast,” Hayleigh replied flatly, not bothering to turn her bed head.

“At work? But it’s Sunday.”

“She rambled something about urgent thing with outsourcing before she left. The usual.”

“Okay, uh… Can you… You know?” Jay hinted to his big sister awkwardly.

“Fine. After you have eaten.”

Jay went to the kitchen and dropped two slices of bread in the toaster. Hayleigh was still giving him the cold-shoulder from after their fight the evening before. Instead of benevolent and caring she was now acting disinterested. Jay had felt embarrassed when she had been treating him like a kid, but on the flip side, he had felt warm and somehow jolly, even though he didn’t want to admit it. The uninvolved attitude Hayleigh was showing him took only some of the embarrassment away at the cost of all the endearment. The finished toasts popping up from the toaster startled him.

Sitting on dining chair in squishy diaper was new experience for Jay. It wasn’t terribly uncomfortable, but unpleasant enough for him to go to Hayleigh for the change while he was still chewing and swallowing the last bites of his second toast. The change took place in Jay’s room. Hayleigh didn’t tease Jay by talking to him like he was a toddler, not much else was said during the change either. When Hayleigh was pulling the zipper on the back of Jay’s pajamas closed, Jay stopped her.

“Shouldn’t I put something else on?”

“Are you planning to go out in this weather?”

Jay glanced out the window, as if he had to confirm the water was still pouring from the dark clouds.

“No…”

“Then you can lounge in your sleeper just fine.” Hayleigh finished zipping Jay back in and worked the tab closed.

“Can I at least change to my other sleeper?”

“Nothing wrong with this one.” Hayleigh put the diapering supplies away and left.

“Fine,” Jay said quietly to himself.

Trying to ignore the attire he was destined wear for rest of the day, Jay begun pondering how to pass time on a rainy day. He glanced at his computer. Minecraft wouldn’t feel the same without Finley and he had binge-watched the reminder of A Series of Unfortunate Events’s second season. Music. That would drain the sound that kept the dreary weather in the front of his mind. Jay walked downstairs to the living room where the best sound system of the house was. The smart TV had a music streaming app to serve the family’s needs. The same account was always logged in, so the music offered by the app’s algorithms were everything from folk to techno. Jay picked a playlist from his folder. His lists had variation and the one he picked was rock dominant.

He begun bouncing about the living room as the beat of Bloc Party’s Helicopter kicked in. He didn’t typically do it while there was someone else in the house, but Hayleigh was just in her room, doing whatever boring teen girls like her did. She wouldn’t see him pick up the remote to crank up the volume before getting down on his knees to play air guitar. Two Door Cinema Club got him wild enough to jump on the sofa, singing along using the TV remote as a microphone.

Over half of What You Know had played when Hayleigh came downstairs. From the loud music Jay hadn’t heard her walk down. She took advantage of that and watched Jay put his soul into the beat and lyrics. Smile sneaked on her face as she watched her little brother put together his act. When he leaned down to perform the chorus — the way you would see a singer do on stage — the outlines of his diaper became the most obvious through the rear of his pajamas. What crowned it all was that his cute and high-pitched voice wasn’t far off the correct notes.

The song ended. Eyes closed Jay held his arm up with the substitute microphone in it for a dramatic closure. Hayleigh steeled her face again. She wasn’t supposed to be smiling at her brother’s silly antics, not after their fight.

“I’m going to Maisy’s. I’ll be back in few hours.” She opened the front door, holding lightly packed backpack on her right shoulder.

“Wait! What if I have to—" Jay was cut off by the door clicking closed. “Go number two…”

He had been feeling some slight pressure in his bowels, but it hadn’t gotten to the point where he would ask to use the toilet. The need to go wasn’t urgent. It could become that sooner than any pair of helping hands would be back home. Jay tried not to think of it and picked the next song from the playlist. Jerk It Out’s drumbeat had just kicked in when Jay’s phone ringed and vibrated demandingly on the sofa table. Jay tilted his head to read the contact’s name. He threw the remote on the sofa and quickly grabbed the phone. It slipped from his right hand. He juggled it between his hands before getting a good grip and swiping the screen to answer.

“Hi Finley!”

“Hey Jay! Ho… i… going?”

Jay realized he couldn’t hear Finley over the music and fished the remote off the sofa and turned the volume down.

“What?”

“How’s it going? You busy playing air guitar?”

“Nah… I mean I was. I just forgot the volume up.”

“We need to rave to some Green Day when I come back.”

“Yes!” Jay exclaimed and continued tentatively, “When are you coming back?”

“August, like I said before I left. You forgot already?”

Jay sighed heavily. “I thought maybe your parents changed their mind.”

“No and it’s great here! If your mom just let you come with us…”

“Hah! There’s no way she would!” Jay retorted bitterly. The line remained silent to both directions for a moment.

Finley continued the chat, “Guess what! I met this cool boy by the lake. He’s 12 and he likes diving in the lake. He has snorkels, fins and everything. He promised to let me use his stuff and teach me diving.”

“That’s so cool!” Jay said, trying to sound excited for Finley. He came across artificial, but Finley didn’t notice.

“The best thing is his name. He’s called Jayden! You have almost the same name. I call him Jay for short,” Finley laughed.

Jay didn’t know what to say. Were his nightmares beginning to fulfil themselves? Finley had found a better friend from their family’s summer place, and on top of everything, he called him Jay!

“He doesn’t live that far from our town either, so we can visit each other after the holidays end. You should meet him too. I’m sure you would like him!”

Jay had no doubts. It was just the matter of time Rhys would rise from his grave, bury and burn him alive. Perhaps a trip to crematory would be the most effective way.

“I… Uh… I gotta do something. Let’s talk again like… next week?” Jay stammered out.

“Oh, okay. B—” Jay had hung up before Finley had a chance to finish his bye-byes. He squeezed the phone, and sent it flying to the sofa escorted by a scream. What had he done to deserve this all pouring over him like the rainstorm on their house? Even if Rhys didn’t rise from dead, Jay would get buried mentally. He already had one foot in the grave.

Jay’s train of happy mood had fallen off a railway bridge as hard as Jay sunk to the sofa. He just slouched and watched the songs change on the TV. The speakers played on quietly. Chelsea Dagger slid in the view next and the upbeat song begun playing. Jay knew very well what songs the list contained — he made it after all — yet he still felt like the song was there just to make fun of him feeling down. Deep inside Jay wanted to toss the remote at the TV, but kept the aggression bottled and used the remote to switch the TV off, killing the music.

Jay moped in silence for a while, but the pressure in his bowels had built up and now took his full attention. He had to actively use his muscles to keep anything from coming out. There was no waiting anymore. The pajamas had to come off. His first attempt in taking the garment off was the obvious one. Jay reached for the topmost zipper tab behind him and did get a hold on it. Further than that he didn’t get. The velcro or the buttons wouldn’t budge. Another part of his nightmares became true.

The idea he got for the second attempt made him hesitant, but the pressure that was becoming distressing pushed him to try it. He pulled at the collar of the sleeper, trying to stretch it wide enough to pass it over his shoulders. The collar kept its form. Jay couldn’t hear any sounds of seems ripping apart either.

“What is this made of?” Jay whined. Small tears of hopelessness sneaked from his eyes onto his warm, red cheeks. With his fist, Jay wiped one of his cheeks dry.

The third attempt would undoubtedly get him in trouble. Jay was holding a pair of scissors he had fetched from the kitchen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor. It was uncomfortable given the state of his bowels. Still, Jay hesitated. The scissor blades nearly touched the fabric on the left leg of Jay’s jammies. In his mind Jay saw disappointed Shannon holding the dissected sleeper. Jay couldn’t press the blades together and finalize it.

The pain got the best of Jay. He put the scissors aside on the floor and squatted. His hand felt the front of the diaper through the pajamas, as if to ensure it still was there. Jay’s autonomic nervous system eagerly took over from the somatic. The solid mass made room for itself, spreading up and down the rear of the diaper. Pee followed, making use of the front. Jay was too shocked through the event itself to be disgusted but the feeling of disgust made sure to bless him with its presence soon after. Jay didn’t have anything to compare to the warm and sticky lump of his own waste sitting against his rear. The memories of his early childhood were too distant. The one time he had gotten all muddy playing in the woods with Finley after heavy autumn rain wasn’t smelly enough to compare.

Jay grabbed the scissors from the floor and discharged all the unwanted emotions against the garment that was responsible for them. The sharp blades worked through the leg of the sleeper effortlessly. Jay’s left shin was nearly halfway visible and more of the fabric was hastily splitting open.

“What are you doing!”

 The boy stopped his handiwork. Hayleigh was back from wherever she had gone. She didn’t expect to return to take in the view of Jay destroying a garment, especially one of great importance. Afraid that Jay would carry on his mischievous task once he had recovered from the surprise, she nicked the scissors. Jay lost his balance and fell over on his butt from the squatting pose. It spread the mess against his rear.

“Mom is going to lose it,” Hayleigh said, holding her hand against her forehead.

Jay tried to phrase an explanation. The tears that trickled out of his eyes and the smell that escaped his diaper were more efficient that his shook-up mind. The change in Hayleigh’s demeanour was swift.

“Oh no, Jay. It’s okay. It’s… perfectly normal. Don’t get so worked up about it. Please,” Hayleigh soothed Jay. She knew she would be in for a trouble just as much as him, should Shannon hear about how she abandoned him. She just wanted to go to Maisy’s for a little while. It wasn’t supposed to end in the catastrophe they were now in. Hayleigh peeked at the time. There were approximately 3 hours to make the mess disappear without Shannon ever learning about it. She pulled Jay up on his feet.

“Let’s get you out of that. Everything will be okay again. Trust me,” she kept talking to Jay while she guided him upstairs with a hand on his back. By the time they reached the bathroom Jay had gained some control over his sobbing. Hayleigh bend down slightly to be up-close to Jay’s face and held her hand on his shoulder, much the same way one would when talking a toddler.

“Wait here while I get the things.”

Jay kept his eyes down to the tile floor, so he didn’t really notice the infantile set-up of the situation, not that it would make it much worse. He was already standing there in a dirty diaper and a sleeper he had cut open like an unattended naughty toddler who found scissors would do.

Hayleigh returned and set the changing pad on the bathroom floor. Jay was about to get down on it but was stopped by Hayleigh. The big sister first had to get her brother out of the pajamas. She quickly inspected the damage before throwing the piece of clothing on the counter next to the sink. It would have been pieces of clothing had she come home any later.

The cleaning process wasn’t pleasant, but Hayleigh decided she could habituate herself to it, probably faster than Jay would to making a mess to clean. Jay didn’t at any point insist he could do something himself. He even let his big sister use the shower head to wash his rear with warm water. Hayleigh let Jay dry himself up with the fluffy light blue towel. She just leaned against the counter and observed.

“You could have called or texted me. I would have been right over to let you use the toilet or change you.”

That idea hadn’t at any point crossed Jay’s mind. He had even been talking to Finley over the phone short while before. He felt truly stupid but didn’t want to admit it to Hayleigh.

“You wouldn’t have! You were being mean to me. Where even were you?” Jay accused Hayleigh and wasn’t all that unfair by doing so.

“I was at Maisy’s, nowhere farther than that,” she answered composedly. “If you’re done drying yourself, let’s go to your room and get you back diapered up.”

“No!” Jay answered abruptly.

Hayleigh was taken aback since the clean-up had gone easily. “That’s not how this works, Jay.”

“I don’t care!”

Hayleigh sighed but kept her stance. “I do not want to drag you out of here. You know I can.”

“You can try,” Jay replied and sat down on the toilet seat with the towel wrapped around his waist protecting him from the cool plastic. Hayleigh knew she shouldn’t make threats she wasn’t prepared to go through with. She also knew she owed Jay an apology and knelt to his eye level.

“Look… I’m sorry. Sorry for being mean to you and sorry for leaving you home alone. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Suspenseful silence remained between the two until Jay spoke up. “It’s okay.”

Despite how betrayed he felt, he couldn’t stay angry at his sister. He was tired of being upset. Hayleigh smiled faintly and thread her arms beneath Jay’s armpits picking him off the toilet seat. Jay’s feet dangled in the air as he was being hugged. He returned the hug, holding his chin on Hayleigh’s shoulder. Hayleigh groaned and lowered Jay to his feet.

“You’re just a tiny bit too heavy to carry around.”

Back in Jay’s room Hayleigh formulated a plot in her head while taping a fresh diaper on Jay. She would be in trouble for leaving Jay home alone after Shannon explicitly gave her the responsibility to take care of Jay until she was to return from work. Jay would be in trouble for sabotaging a crucial test garment. If Jay’s handywork was revealed to Shannon, so would be Hayleigh’s irresponsible slip up, even if it didn’t come to daylight another way. Luckily Hayleigh knew a fix that would keep them both out of harm’s way.

“Mom has taught me how to sew and I’m not all that bad in it. I can fix your Jammies and mom will be none the wiser,” Hayleigh said confidently. However, she was far from confident about fooling their mother with her sewing skills.

“Promise?” Jay asked. He didn’t sound convinced which insulted Hayleigh.

“Promise. It will look good as new,” Hayleigh smiled and continued, “You’ll have to promise me something too.”

“Yeah?”

“You can’t tell mom I went to Maisy’s or anything that happened while I was away,” Hayleigh said and stared deep into Jay’s eyes.

“Fine,” Jay said, looking down.

“You need to promise.”

“I promise.”

“Look into my eyes.”

Jay made eye contact with Hayleigh. “I promise!”

That satisfied Hayleigh, but she still felt uneasy. She had a foreboding the plan was doomed to fail in one way or another.

They both sneaked into Shannon’s bedroom. Jay was only in his diaper as Hayleigh didn’t think of putting clothes on him, engrossed she was in saving her own ass. She knew where her mother kept the sewing kit and spools of thread. The luck was on their side and there was thread in a colour that nearly matched the thread that the sleeper was sewn together with. Hayleigh inspected the damage Jay had done. The cut was right next to the seam which astronomically increased the chances of the fix going unnoticed. She cut away the rough edges Jay had left and started sewing. Jay was following closely, a bit too much so.

“Can you back off a little? You’re blocking the light,” irritated Hayleigh blurted.

Jay retreated to sit on Shannon’s bed and swayed nervously, waiting to know were they both doomed to feel their mother’s wrath in the matter of hours.

Minutes ticked by. Finally, Hayleigh set the needle away, cut the thread’s lose end and lifted the sleeper from the desk.

“And done! Looks good to me.”

Jay inspected the sleeper, and no detail caught his eye. “Which leg did I cut?”

Hayleigh chuckled. “I consider the fix a success!”

Jay stepped back in the jammies without complaints and let Hayleigh pull the zipper closed. She gave the sleeper one last look and then pulled Jay into a hug.

“I’ll be the big sister I’m supposed to be from now. I’m sorry I let you down,” she whispered to her brother.

They broke the hug. Hayleigh patted Jay’s diapered butt and followed him out from the bedroom. The needle, spool of thread, scissors and pieces of fabric remained on the desk, awaiting to be found. The rain had cleared, and sunlight pushed through the clouds. Few remaining droplets twinkled on the bedroom window.

 

***

 

Hayleigh was on the edge the whole evening. The family ate dinner and spent time together in the living room playing Monopoly. It was a usual Sunday apart from Jay’s attire, although it was to become the new normal for him and the family. Hayleigh kept eyeing her mother, looking for signs that she knew what had happened. She didn’t even know what to look for which was all the more reason to stay on her toes.

After Hayleigh had sucked rest of the family dry of money for the third time, they decided to switch to a movie. While Hayleigh was popping corn and Jay packing the game, Shannon disappeared to her bedroom. She returned shortly.

“Hayleigh,” she called.

“Yeah, mom?” Hayleigh appeared to the living room.

“Have you used my sewing kit?” she asked, wondering.

Hayleigh’s brain went on overdrive. Between the “shits” and “fucks” she was putting together a hasty explanation. Jay staring into Hayleigh nervously didn’t help the girl either. How could she have forgotten the easiest part of the operation: cleaning up after herself?

“Uhh, yeah. I fixed my old shorts,” she said with an unconvincing smile on top.

“Oh, did they turn out nice? Can you show me?” Shannon asked, delighted her daughter was making use of her sewing skills.

For fuck’s sake! Damn it! Hayleigh swore in her head again.

“Oh, haha! Actually…” Hayleigh paused to think. “I kinda messed up and had to toss the shorts.”

Shannon puckered her brows. “I thought you said you fixed them?”

“No. I mean yes, but I meant I tried to fix them,” Hayleigh said and waited for Shannon to say something. She was sure her mother hadn’t bought it.

“That’s a shame. You could ask for my help next time. And don’t forget to put everything back where they were when you’re done, please.”

Hayleigh wanted to laugh out of relief. She was off the hook. “Yes, mom. I’ll do that next time.”

The movie choice of the night was Men in Black. The soda Jay was drinking went right through him. The instinctual thought of leaving to bathroom no longer crossed his mind and he effortlessly wet his diaper. He asked for a change but was denied one before bedtime. The diaper would hold until then.

“Would it be impossible thought to wait for Hayleigh or I to check your diaper instead of asking for a change?” Shannon asked or suggested rather.

“I don’t know,” Jay said. “Why?”

“Honey, kids with special needs are often nonverbal and can’t tell their caregiver they need a change.”

“What’s nonver…” Jay started asking, uncertain had he heard the word right.

“Nonverbal person is someone who can’t talk or talk enough to communicate with others,” Shannon explained.

Jay looked at his mother dumbly. “You want me to stop talking?”

“No, no. That’s not what I meant at all, sweetie. Robbing ability to speak from someone would be torture, you would notice before long. I only meant talking about your diaper. If you wet it, don’t say a thing. We’ll be sure to check it frequently and change it when it’s time.”

“I don’t know, mom. What if you forget me sitting in a puddle of pee?”

“Don’t be silly. You’re simply too cute little boy to forget for that long. Even if we did for a little while, these puffy pants here are super thirsty and you’re getting super, super thirsty ones soon,” Shannon said and patted the front of Jay’s diaper and poked his nose playfully.

Jay giggled. “Okay, mommy.”

Hayleigh mouthed “adorable” to Shannon. Jay himself hadn’t noticed how childish reply had slipped out of his mouth. Neither did he pause to think that getting his diaper checked instead of asking for a change was another step in the direction of lost independence. Being carefree in the arms of his mother and sister was beginning to overwhelm the need for freedom. Giving up control for unconditional attention didn’t feel like that bad trade at all.

Jay survived through the movie without falling asleep and was ushered by his mother upstairs to brush his teeth. One count of loving diaper change and four counts of good night kisses later he was alone in his dark bedroom. No glow of summer sun from below the horizon was coming through the blinds. The rain was pouring again from the black sky.

Counting the sheep wasn’t down Jay’s alley that night. He was trying to catch them to stay awake. The risk of getting a front row seat to another horror show was too much to him. His hard attempts to catch the sheep were in vain against the hypnotic drum solo of the rain. They slipped away over the fence. One sheep. Two. Three. Six. Eighteen. Twenty-four… The shepherd was fast asleep.

 

                                                                  

Long time no chapter. I happened to have plenty of free time on my hands and inspiration to write. I'll be trying to push out another chapter out soon-ish.

The pace of the story has been quite slow so far. I'm looking to pick it up a little by breaking the day to day flow.

 

I want to thank everyone coming back to read this story despite the slow updates,

J

[Sarah Penguin]

yay thanks enjoyed it

[Pierry Louys]

Great chapter 

[Shotgun Diplomat]

Well, this is a darned good read I do declare! The wait between chapters, while long and regrettable is worth it with the quality of your work. Thank-you very much, I am looking forward to your next installment. 

[Bluebird67]

Indeed, this story gets more and more interesting as it gets less predictable. You are doing an amazing job of combining interesting characters and psychological tension with the kind of content that readers of stories on this board expect.

I hope Jay’s fears for his friendship with Finley aren’t realised, but maybe we are seeing the start of a lifelong thing with Maisy. And on the other hand, maybe Hayleigh is risking becoming a second guinea pig?

[Eagle0769]

I'm just overwhelmed with your writing.

This is so interesting to read. The dreams Jay is having are unreal.

I hope at some point he opens up to his sister or his mom.

[TheJ]

On 4/25/2020 at 10:35 PM, Shotgun Diplomat said:

Well, this is a darned good read I do declare! The wait between chapters, while long and regrettable is worth it with the quality of your work. Thank-you very much, I am looking forward to your next installment. 

Thank you! Unfortunately, I'm going away from my PC for a month. I'm near finishing the next lengthy chapter, but I've ran out of inspiration to type the last few pages down. It begun to show in my writing, so I'm not forcing the rest of the chapter out before I have to go. I'll return with newly found inspiration after having to suppress this side of me for a month.

 

On 4/26/2020 at 4:38 PM, Bluebird67 said:

I hope Jay’s fears for his friendship with Finley aren’t realised, but maybe we are seeing the start of a lifelong thing with Maisy. And on the other hand, maybe Hayleigh is risking becoming a second guinea pig?

You've given me an idea of how to give one of the characters more depth. Thank you for that! Whether the character is Jay, Finley, Maisy or Hayleigh that I won't reveal...

[kirababy]

Enjoyed this chapter, and am looking forward to more

[TheJ]

Chapter 5: Getting misunderstood

 

Jay opened his eyes groggily to a sunny Tuesday morning. The night’s theme had been Rhys staring into Jay blankly for what seemed like an eternity. In the nightmare Jay had tried talking, yelling and flailing his arms in front of his father. He got frustrated enough to kick his father’s shin and had woken up in the middle of the night kicking a very real and wooden post of his bed. The bad dream the night before had featured Finley and Jayden carrying Jay by his shoulders into a lake to drown him. Before dumbing Jay’s head under the clear lake water Jayden had whispered into Jay’s ear. “There can be only one Jay.”

Jay sat up in his bed to listen. There was a commotion going on inside the house. It sounded like the women of the family of three had decided to refurnish the house first thing in the morning. Jay dragged his pajama covered feet to the bedroom door. Stepping out of the door he tripped on something and got familiar with the wooden floor up close. Morning pee trickled into his diaper.

“Ouch!”

There were piles of cardboard boxes in the hallway. One of the boxes had been set up as a trap right in front of Jay’s bedroom, or so Jay saw it.

“Mom! What are all these boxes?”

No reply. Jay headed downstairs to investigate, rubbing his sore elbow. Two men Jay hadn’t met before walked in through the front door, carrying a flat, heavy box. One was tall and muscular, in his thirties. The other was in his fifties and shorter by ten inches with a round body. He had a lively and seasoned face. The older of the two spoke up.

“Hey there, kiddo! Did we wake you up?” he said, smiling contagiously.

Jay shook his head. “Have you seen my mom?”

“Your mother is out front with your sister. They are getting boxes out of the truck.”

Shannon walked in as the man finished answering. “Oh great, you’re awake! Your summer stuff came, most of it anyway. You’ll be on fitting duty after we have eaten breakfast.”

 “Oh boy, I would run if I were you,” the older man joked.

Before the talk about clothes, Jay had been oblivious of the footed jammies and diaper he was dressed in. He blushed a little standing there in front of the strangers.

“Here. Take these boxes upstairs,” Shannon said, handing Jay two small cardboard boxes.

She didn’t have to ask twice. Jay scampered upstairs with the boxes and an excuse to hide. Before long Hayleigh appeared with a garment in her hands. It was folded, so Jay couldn’t tell what it was.

“Changing time. Let’s go out of the way to the bathroom. Mom will come take your sheets to laundry. Some guy from the company will be here soon to take apart your bed and assemble your new one.”

“My new bed? What will happen to my old one?” Jay asked, worried the new bed was to stay indefinitely.

“We are getting rid of it.”

Jay’s mouth dropped. “What? Forever? That’s unfair!”

Hayleigh grinned. “It’s going in the garage. You’re so gullible and it’s adorable.”

Jay punched Hayleigh’s arm lightly.

“Ow, that was uncalled for!” she laughed.

Hayleigh had finished wiping Jay’s naked crotch clean and took a new diaper from the open pack.

“Shame we didn’t have time to take out your new diapers. These will have to do until the next change.”

Butterflies filled Jay’s stomach. He wondered how different the new diapers would look and feel. Changing to new diapers just as he had got used to the old ones wasn’t a splendid idea to him.

The diaper was on and the leg gathers were in place. Hayleigh unfolded the mystery garment. It turned out to be a onesie, white with pastel blue collar and cuffs. The zipper was no place else than Jay expected: on the back. The twist was that what Jay thought was the zipper was a row of six large buttons. The crotch had no opening. Jay wasn’t amused which Hayleigh noticed.

“It was on the top of the first box I opened. Step your pretty little feet in and we can get breakfast.”

The onesie’s short legs sat close to the skin. It hugged the diaper all around not leaving much for viewer’s imagination to fill in. The design was undoubtedly escape proof but at the cost of convenience. It took a good while for Hayleigh to work the tight buttons closed.

The two starving kids hurried to the kitchen. In the time of one diaper change, Shannon had stripped off Jay’s bed sheets and set the breakfast to the table. If the kids were to ask how, she would just put it down to motherly magic. The questions would have to remain unasked. Consuming the offerings of the table was priority number one to the hungry kids. In the middle of the meal the doorbell rang. Shannon answered the door. The man had arrived to assemble the bed. Jay only got a glance at the man as he passed the kitchen to upstairs. He was short and had a brown beard. The toolbox he was carrying had seen several projects judging from the dents and dirt.

After breakfast it was time for the fashion show. The living room would function as a catwalk. Shannon’s bedroom was the backstage filled with boxes of clothes. Audience would be one big sister. Shannon emptied a box that had already been cut open. Out came eight onesies. They were all different colour. Three of the onesies had a zipper on the back with an identical tab to the one in Jay’s sleeper. Out of those three, one had short sleeves, but no legs. One had neither legs or short sleeves. It was a tank top save for the crotch piece. The last one was identical to the onesie Jay was wearing but had a zipper.

There were also two onesies with buttons on the back. Those followed the same shapes as the zippered ones. The third one missing from the box was what Jay was wearing. The two remaining onesies had short sleeves and no legs. They were fastened with snaps in the crotch.

Jay got to model the tank top version of the back zippered onesies and a onesie with crotch snaps. He found it stupid that Shannon made him take a spin in the living room for Hayleigh before trying on the next garment but went along with it.

Shannon cut open the next box and pulled out something that looked like a normal cotton shirt at first. The special feature was the pants that were sewn together with the shirt. Jay had to appreciate the ingenious design. The shirt’s hem came over the pants loosely and the seam was hidden underneath, so the combination didn’t look like a one-piece garment. Only giveaway was the back zipper and its sturdy tab. Like the onesies, there were multiple of the one-piece garments with different colours, lengths of legs and sleeves. Some also had buttons instead of a zipper. Shannon helped Jay into a combination with beige chino pants and light grey cotton shirt that zipped in the back. Jay stole a look from the bedroom mirror and had to agree when Shannon said he looked stylish. The loose pants together with the hem of the shirt did plenty to fade the outline of his diaper. Perhaps he wasn’t doomed to look like a toddler for the entire summer after all.

Jay walked out on the catwalk and was surprised to find the audience doubled. Maisy waved brightly. Jay flushed bright red.

“Hey there, super model! Hayleigh slipped to me in a text that you were having a fashion show and I couldn’t miss it,” she explained and winked.

“Oh,” Jay blurted out and spun shyly.

“You look great in that! Mom has really put her mind into these,” Hayleigh complimented Jay.

Maisy voiced her agreement. Jay skipped back to Shannon’s bedroom, grinning from ear to ear, mentioning that Maisy had come over. From his innocence Jay didn’t know the tingling in his stomach was crush induced, Maisy crush. She had an ability to put him at ease and brighten him up. For Maisy Jay was her best friend’s cute little brother. The age gap was too wide for the crush to be mutual. While the feeling of crush crossed the canyon one way, it plummeted to its death on the way back.

The next cardboard box held in various sleepwear. There were sleepers with feet, without feet and with short legs and sleeves. Majority featured a back zipper, some back buttons. A few had front and crotch zippers. Two sleepers had snaps on the front and crotch. Shannon snapped shut the front of the sleeper Jay was to model next. It was white with pictures of blue, black and bronze feathers in a pattern. The colours were inspired by a kingfisher. Barefoot Jay made his mind to fully throw himself into the act. He swung his hips walking through the living room, unwittingly highlighting his diaper, struck a pose for the girls, who were applauding and whistling, before turning back to the bedroom.

There were four unopened boxes left in the room. One was smaller than the others. Continuing with the bigger boxes, the insides of the next box contained a denim overall and shortall, both with snaps around the crotch. There were also two one-piece swimsuits. While one was just back zippered rash guard with short legs and sleeves, the other looked like an inflatable muscle costume to Jay. It had floatable material inside the suit to keep an amateur swimmer above the surface. For such suit the back zipper was a must. Having the zipper at hand for a child who can’t swim would be an ingredient to catastrophe. Only a pinch of distraction from a guardian to complete the recipe. In addition to two shorts with side zippers, there was nothing more in the box.

Shannon emptied the smaller box on her bed. What came out were two bibs, a blue harness, and what intrigued Jay the most, a pair of mittens. The navy-blue fleece mittens were thumbless. When Jay took one of the mittens in his hand, he could feel there was some tougher layer underneath the fleece. It didn’t completely prevent bending the mitten but gave resistance. The mitten had loose layer of soft and breathable material inside. It was a mitten inside of a mitten. It was only sewn onto the outer mitten from the wrist which meant the wearer could move their fingers freely. A plastic clasp around the wrist secured the mitten. Jay tried one of the mittens in his hand. When he squeezed his hand into fist the outer mitten didn’t bend but expanded to give space to his fist. He tried to get hold of the outer mitten with his fingers. It was no avail. The inner mitten was too slippery against the outer.

“What are these mittens for?” Jay asked his mother.

“As you noticed, you cannot do much with them. That’s what they are for, to prevent behaviour such as undressing and scratching,” Shannon explained while opening the shortall for Jay to step in.

“Ooh... Do I have to wear them?” Jay stepped in the shortalls, letting Shannon pull them up and fasten them.

“Not all the time, whenever fitting. That could be anytime you’re not using your hands, for example, when you sleep.”

“Only when I sleep?” Jay asked or hopefully suggested.

“That was just an example, sweetie. Would you give me the mittens? Let’s try them on properly.”

Jay handed the mittens to Shannon who slipped them on Jay’s hands and fastened the clasps. He examined the mittens, turning his hands around. Trying to grab the clasp of one mitten with the other would not work. Then a potential design flaw occurred to Jay. To test his theory, Jay brought the right-hand mitten’s clasp up to his mouth, between his teeth. It clicked open. The mitten came off easily thereon. Jay smiled victoriously.

Shannon had seen the entirety of the escape. “That can’t be! How come I didn’t think of that? Luckily it’s easily fixed with a different buckle.”

Shannon refastened the mitten and sent Jay back out in the living room. He did his walk and stopped in front of the girls, held his right hand above his eyes, pretending to scope the surroundings.

“What are those mittens?” Maisy asked, turning to Hayleigh.

“They stop him from taking off his clothes… Well, doing pretty much anything with his hands.”

“Cool…” Maisy seemed to trail off into her thoughts.

Hayleigh took her opportunity to joke. “Just wait till the evil babysitter here gets up to speed.”

Jay rolled his eyes and left the two girls at it.

“Hey! That’s rich coming from someone who left a diaper kid alo—”

“Keep it down!” Hayleigh quickly cut Maisy off and continued whispering, “My mom doesn’t know.”

In the bedroom Shannon was putting the clothes back in the boxes to move them upstairs into Jay’s room. The two remaining unopened boxes were now sitting next to Shannon’s wardrobe.

Jay pointed at them. “What about those boxes, mom?”

“They are for later. Leave them there.”

The reply aroused Jay’s curiosity. “What’s in them?”

“Just some clothes, honey. Forget about them,” Shannon brushed the question off as she took the mittens off Jay’s hands.

Jay eyed the boxes but did as he was told. He took one of the opened boxes up to his room. The man had finished with his new bed and was now working on something in kitchen. Massive was the first word Jay thought of when he saw the new bed. It was full bed while Jay’s old bed had been twin-size. However, the width and length weren’t what made the bed appear large to Jay. The tall sides did. There was only 15-inch gap from the sides to the ceiling. Jay could stand up in the bed and his head wouldn’t reach over the sides. Not that it could were they lower, since the bed had a sturdy top made of wood slats.

One would first think of a crib when a bed has tall sides. The bed’s appearance wasn’t that of a traditional crib, not only because of the closed top. The sides didn’t have wood slats. They were dark varnished wood with two horizontal acrylic glass windows on top of each other. On one side between the windows was a cut where the side folded when it was lowered.

“Do you like it?” Shannon asked from the bedroom door, startling Jay.

Jay pondered before he voiced the answer that would follow him. Of the things you say parents never forget those you wish they would.

“It’s like a fish tank.”

Shannon laughed. “I need to buy bed linens for your new bed and you just gave me brilliant idea, my little goldfish.”

She never specified what the brilliant idea was.

The bed wasn’t the only new piece of furniture in the room. Underneath the window next to Jay’s desk was a changing table. It had the same elegant dark varnish as the bed and came roughly to the level of Shannon’s hips. Below the table part there were shelves for diapers and supplies, yet to be filled.

They dumbed the new clothes on the bed and begun emptying Jay’s wardrobe into the boxes. Shannon instructed Jay to take out everything but t-shirts, socks and few sweatpants. Couple of sweaters and hoodies made the cut as well. When they were carrying the boxes out of Jay’s bedroom, Maisy and Hayleigh had come upstairs and offered to help with placing the new clothes in the wardrobe to get a glimpse of those that weren’t featured in the improvised fashion show.

While Jay worked on the wardrobe with the girls, Shannon cut into the boxes that had been waiting outside the room. The missing piece was unveiled: the diapers. Shannon brought the packs to the changing table. The kids forgot about the task at hand and came to fiddle with the packs curiously. Jay noticed the packages weren’t all the same. They all held 30 diapers each but some of them had diapers intended for night-time use, some daytime and two packs had pull up diapers. The daytime diapers came in two absorbencies that were playfully named “thirsty” and “super thirsty” with the actual absorbency written underneath in small print. Jay didn’t see the promised “super, super thirsty” diapers but didn’t mind.

Shannon piled the diapers on the changing table’s shelves and described their features to Hayleigh. Maisy and Jay were listening as well while continuing with the clothes. The pull up diapers would tear at the sides and were to be used when Jay needed to have the option to change himself. The thirsty daytime diapers had one wide tape on each side that could be refastened several times. It was better for activities. The super thirsty diaper would be Jay’s daily driver. It had four tapes and thickness that didn’t scream take me out for a run. The night diapers were meant for the obvious use and longer road trips. The padding was wider all around, particularly on the front.

“I hope you don’t mind the pictures, Jay,” Shannon said tentatively.

Jay came to take closer look and saw why Shannon worried about the diapers being pleasant on his eye. They weren’t. Not in the sense of being ugly: the cartoon elephants, lions and other animals that had escaped the safari to brighten up the diapers were nicely drawn. Now only if Jay was mentally three years old there would be no issue.

“They are…” Jay paused, making his answer sound ever more unconvincing. “Okay.”

“Your size happened to be the biggest size the kids’ designs come in. The next size would have had more neutral designs. I’m sorry, honey.”

Jay’s regrets were resurfacing. It didn’t help how underrepresented the pull up diapers — the least repulsive in Jay’s eyes — were on the changing table’s shelves. The diapers that didn’t fit on the shelves were thrown in the wardrobe. The clothes had been folded in neatly, for the most part. One could tell where Jay’s untrained and careless hands had worked.

“I need to go make us lunch. You’re welcome to eat with us, Maisy,” Shannon offered.

“Thanks! I would like to.”

“That’s settled then. You girls put Jay into something sensible.” Shannon nodded at Jay who was still dressed in the shortall barefoot and not a fan of being talked of as if he wasn’t in the room.

Hayleigh knelt and clapped her hands once. “Come here, Jay.”

Like she was coaxing a toddler to run over, Jay thought. “No, you come here.”

“Fine. Have it your way.” Hayleigh walked over and took Jay off his feet, sat him down on the changing table and planted a wet kiss on his forehead.

“Eww!” Jay whined but couldn’t hide his smile.

Maisy watched wistfully, hoping she had a little brother, a younger sibling. She was supposed to have one. She had been ready to have one. Her family had been. The names had been picked: Ian for boy, Amy for girl. Space had been made for a crib in Maisy’s room. Maisy’s old clothes had been dug out of the remote corners of the basement. That same day Maisy’s mother had returned crying from the hospital, Maisy’s father wanting to cry. Little Ian’s heart had never started beating. It was called miscarriage; six-year-old Maisy had heard the adults talking. To her it sounded like her mother had done something wrong carrying the baby in her womb. Secretly she had blamed her. Her parents had never tried again. When Maisy had later asked why they just said it was too risky, her mother being in her forties, and they never wanted to feel the soul scarring pain again.

“A-ha! As I suspected, there was a wet diaper hidden in here.” Hayleigh had popped the snaps open and stuck her finger around the leg gather while pretending to do a body search. “I thought I asked do you have anything on you that could potentially wet me.”

“I’m sorry, Officer McLame. I thought it was dry.”

“Maisy, I need backup. This suspect is resisting change.” Hayleigh took the hold of Jay’s arms.

Maisy saw where Hayleigh was going with it. “Backup is at the scene!” She begun tickling Jay’s feet.

“Sto— op! This— This is— police brut— ality!” Jay giggled and gasped for air.

“Stop resisting! Stop resisting!” Maisy shouted and continued to tickle.

Jay’s diaper grew wetter. “He— He— Help!”

Maisy finished tickling. “Are you ready to stop resisting your change?”

“Ye— yes!” Jay answered, still heaving.

Hayleigh helped the boy slip out of his shortall. He blushed deep red, sitting on the changing table clad in nothing else but the swollen diaper with Maisy in the room. Maisy noticed Jay glancing at her shyly.

“I can wait outside if that’s less awkward,” she suggested nonchalantly. In her mind she was disappointed Jay felt embarrassed around her. She didn’t show that because she knew it would skew Jay’s answer.

Jay was beginning to get used to Hayleigh seeing him naked, cleaning and spreading lotion on him down there. Maisy was new to it, not even his sister, although Jay couldn’t make up his mind was that for the worse or not. On the other hand, she was just another girl and would change him sooner or later. Maybe it wasn’t that big a deal.

“No, you can stay.” The words of confidence Jay wanted to convey stuck together into more of a mumble. That didn’t hold Maisy back from being delighted.

Hayleigh carried out the change, Maisy followed closely, and Jay attempted to drill a hole in the ceiling with his eyes. When the chips of wood were about to start falling from the ceiling, the new diaper was taped on Jay. When Jay looked down, an elephant with sunglasses and a snout wrapped around a glass of lemonade stared back at him from the super thirsty diaper. A sun with smiley face decorated the rear side. The diapers were four seasons themed as well as safari. Jay felt sorry for the creature of safari that drew the shortest straw and was doomed to brave the winter.

Maisy walked over to the wardrobe and took out clothes, suggesting them, not to Jay but to Hayleigh.

“What about this one? It’s cute.”

“That’s a sleeper. It’s warm today.”

“Hmm… You’re right. This? It’s awfully stylish.”

“Yeah, and too stylish for sitting at home.”

“Do I get a say?” Jay interrupted the two.

“No,” the girls answered in unison and continued.

“Ooh, I like this onesie.”

“That works.”

Hayleigh zipped the back of the short-legged onesie up. It was sea green from the upper half and grey from the lower. Maisy put matching grey socks on Jay, he didn’t even get to do such a menial task himself. Jay felt the thickness of the new diaper forced him to keep his thighs farther apart and made him waddle. The change in his steps was hardly noticeable, unlike the big diaper underneath his onesie. Jay thought about asking for shorts, but knew it was a lost cause.

When the lunch time came around, Jay got to see what the man had rigged up in the kitchen. A highchair was what awaited him at the table. The name wasn’t the most fitting for it, since the seat was only couple of inches higher than the dining chairs’ seats. Otherwise it lived up to its name with a tray, harness and footrest. Again, Jay regretted. He thought this was more than he agreed to and wanted to speak his mind, but he couldn’t. Maisy was there. He couldn’t shoot the first shot with an innocent civilian in the warzone. That wasn’t what freedom fighters do. Jay took the loss, climbed in and allowed the ruthless occupying power to strap him to the chair. The harness buckled somewhere behind the backrest that cupped Jay’s shoulders. With the harness snug, Jay couldn’t reach behind the chair to unbuckle. The footrest had straps to keep Jay’s feet in place. Shannon slid the tray in front of Jay who swore in his mind to avenge.

Whilst forking his chicken salad in, Jay found out the chair’s soft cushion was rather comfortable to sit in. What annoyed him was that whenever he tried to cross his legs the straps on the footrest reminded of themselves.

When everyone had eaten, Jay was impelled to sit while the table was cleaned. Shannon took out a can of chocolate chip cookies for the kids as a dessert. Maisy took one for herself and gave another to Jay, not forgetting to take advantage of Jay’s tethered state by ruffling his hair.

 

***

 

All that afternoon Jay waited impatiently for Maisy to leave. After lunch Shannon had gone shopping for Jay’s new bed linens. The girls and Jay had spent the time playing card in Hayleigh’s room. Shortly after Shannon had returned from her shopping trip Maisy said her bye-byes and went back home. The battle was on.

“A crib, highchair and diapers with pictures for babies? Really?” Jay listed.

Jay’s outburst caught Shannon off guard. “Earlier today you said you were fine with them. Where is this coming from, Jay?”

“From that I’m not!” Jay stomped his feet and held his hands in fists on his sides without even realising how childish it made him look.

“Jay, do not raise your voice. We talked about how you should bring your concerns and feelings out.”

Jay went quiet and thought for a second. “Well here’s a concern: I’m afraid no one will want a bed that ugly in their house!”

Jay’s sarcasm cut deep into Shannon. The surprise that her sweet little boy was capable of being so hurtful made the blow tenfold harder. It was his father’s hard work he was spitting on.

“Jay Andrew Carney, go to your room. We’ll talk once you have calmed down.”

Jay stood still; hands folded in front of him. Shannon knew she was on the verge of breaking into tears. A split-second decision chose that it was lesser bad to raise her voice than to cry a river in front of her son.

“Now!”

A child used to parents who yell wouldn’t have flinched, but Jay wasn’t that child. He had never heard his mother yell at him or his sister. She always kept her cool to the point it was irritating, no matter how hard they used a stick or a log to test the ice. Jay ran upstairs. Shannon fell apart on the living room sofa.

Hayleigh had heard her mother yell at Jay, so she carefully peeked from the kitchen where she had been filling a glass of soda. The aftermath was her mother slumped on the sofa, sobbing. Hayleigh had found her mother from the living room looking the same the night after her father’s funeral. Like that time, Hayleigh sat down and hugged her mother. She didn’t say a word, she had no need to. All she had to do was stay and wait for Shannon to speak up.

“As a mother I’ve always had one strict principle: to never raise my voice at you kids. I can’t expect you to not raise your voices at me if I can’t keep myself from doing it.” She paused and sighed heavily. “Now I feel that I’ve failed as a mother.”

“Mom, that’s not true. You stuck to that for long 15 years. If I went to tell child protective services that you never raised your voice at us for that long, they would take us away with the suspicion that you’re a psychopath.”

Shannon smiled lightly, still wiping her tears away. “Way to make me feel better, honey.”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be. You got me to smile.” Shannon squeezed her daughter. A serious look slipped back on her face. “I don’t know what went into Jay. I can usually tell when he’s about to go off like that, but now I missed all the signs.”

“He’s just confused.”

“Maybe he feels that we are humiliating him. Maybe we should call this whole thing off before we lose him completely.”

“No, I think deep down he enjoys this. When I’ve fooled around with him, gotten him to ease up, he lights up, smiles so brightly. He tries to pretend he hates how we take care of him but struggles to keep up the façade.”

“I don’t know, dear. If he’s only pretending, why would he slash out like that? It doesn’t make sense.”

“I think he’s conflicted. Part of him feels that enjoying this is irrational, that a big kid shouldn’t do it, and keeps fighting back.”

Shannon sat silently for a moment, pondering. “We could let him change his own diapers, dress himself and forget about the bed and highchair.”

“If I’m right, it would make him angrier and more miserable than he is now, and wouldn’t it take away the whole basis of the product testing?”

Shannon stood up. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“What will you say?” Hayleigh was worried that her mother had given up.

“I don’t know yet.” Shannon left Hayleigh to dwell in her concern in the living room.

Upstairs Shannon slowly opened Jay’s bedroom door. She found Jay sulking in the corner of his new bed, despite it lacking a mattress.

“Are you ready to talk?” she asked.

No answer. Jay’s head stayed buried behind his knees. Shannon sat on the side of the bed.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice at you, dear. It was the first and the last time. Now, is there something you want to say?”

Jay begun to shake. He raised his head slightly from behind his knees. “I’m, I’m sorry I yelled and called this bed…” Jay couldn’t finish the sentence before he was crying with no control. He felt awful for what he had spat out in the heat of the moment.

Shannon enveloped Jay in her lap and rocked him. “There, there, sweetheart. I forgive you. No need to cry.” She let her son’s crying calm a little before continuing. “Do you really hate all this? The clothes, the diapers, the… the bed, how we take care of you?”

Jay was hesitant. “Ye— yes.”

Shannon wasn’t convinced. She weighted carefully her options. Calling the deal off would end the family from ripping apart. It would be the smooth sail out of the storm back to the port the ship came from. They had agreed there was no calling the deal off halfway, but Shannon hadn’t imagined it could lead them to clash this vigorously.

Then there was Hayleigh’s theory. If it turned out to be wrong, Jay would be furious of Shannon suggesting he was living the dream when he insisted he was in a nightmare awake. He could react so, even if the theory held true. Getting Jay to admit he liked the nurturing, on the other hand, could put an end to the fight Jay was putting up, bring them closer as a family. The ship could sink before the trip even begun or could get them to their destination through the serene seas.

Shannon made her call and braced herself to sink with her ship. “You can be honest with me, darling. Do you?”

Tears rolled out of Jay’s eyes again. “No… But, but I should. I’m ten. Ten-year-olds don’t like being treated like… Like…”

“Hush now. It’s okay if you want to let go and let us take care of you. There’s nothing wrong with you. You have had a rough year, that’s all.”

Shannon held Jay as he cried his tears away. She would have held him for days had that been what it took. Her little boy needed her loving embrace. When the tears had dried away, Shannon sat Jay up on her lap and looked into his eyes as she spoke. “Do we both agree that you need to stop acting silly, saying one thing while feeling the other?”

Jay nodded.

“While someone knows you don’t mean the things you say, you can still hurt them. You need to remember that.”

“Do you… Do you hate me now?”

“Stop it right there, my little lunatic. You can never make me hate you. Mom loves you no matter what.”

They hugged, Shannon squeezing Jay tightly enough to make him grunt.

“Now there’s only one question that has to be asked. Do you really think the bed is ugly?”

“No.” Jay shook his head from side to side as far as it went to drive the answer home.

“Great! I was getting worried I’m raising a boy with a terrible, terrible taste.” Shannon emphasized the last word by poking Jay’s nose. She turned Jay around on her lap. “Let’s see how your diaper is doing.”

Shannon pulled the zipper down and peeled the onesie down to Jay’s waist, then poked her finger inside the diaper.

“A little damp but it can take more.”

“Ehh… I need to go… number two,” Jay said meekly.

“Off to the potty you go then. You can throw the diaper away. I’ll have Hayleigh change you into new one when you have done your business.”

Jay scooted to the toilet, not clinging on his mother’s choice of words. Odd sensation of peace had filled him after he had admitted to liking the childish treatment, how doting his mother and sister were to him. That peace was disturbed when Jay thought back on how he had insulting his father’s work. He wasn’t excited to see the nightmares that were to follow.

Holding the onesie in front of his crotch, Jay slipped back into his bedroom. Shannon and Hayleigh were placing Jay’s pillows inside new pillowcases. The bed was otherwise ready with a new mattress. A redhead mermaid who was hugging a yellow fish with blue stripes and fins smiled on the duvet cover. Jay grimaced at what he saw as an inherently girlish concept: Disney princesses. Had he been older he could have looked on the bright side: who wouldn’t want to sleep with a princess, a mermaid or not? The whipped cream on the banana split were the plushies; there were a small orange starfish and a well-fed dolphin that was as tall as Jay’s arms.

“There’s our little goldfish. Your fish tank is starting to be full, but it will accommodate one small fishy more easily,” Shannon teased.

“Ha-ha! Very funny...” Jay retorted.

“I’ll go get ready now.” Shannon headed out of Jay’s bedroom.

“Get ready for what?” Jay asked, turning to Hayleigh.

Hayleigh picked up Jay and laid him down on the changing table. She snatched the onesie Jay was clutching. “We are going out to eat and to the movies. Let’s get you diapered, and all dressed up!”

“We are?” This was news to Jay and not the most pleasing. He had been bombarded with new things all day and now he had to try an outing wearing a diaper underneath whatever clothes his big sister desired to put on him.

“Don’t sound so worried. I’ll tell you a little secret. While you’re the cute boy that you are, everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives out there to pay attention to what you’re wearing.” Hayleigh spread lotion on Jay’s rear and privates.

“Not everyone. Someone will notice.”

“Then they’ll just shrug it off, assume you’re incontinent or special needs.” The super thirsty diaper came down just slightly underneath Jay’s bellybutton. It had a cheetah smiling widely wrapped in a yellow winter jacket. Jay suspected that the smile was forced. No cheetah would smile while surrounded by as many falling snowflakes as there were drawn on the diaper.

“Am I a freak?” Jay asked quietly.

Hayleigh halted midst pulling the second tape shut. “No. Why would you think that?”

“Because I like…” Jay sighed. “This.”

“For me you’re nothing but the sweetest little brother who will get his bum warmed up if he doesn’t stop having these ill thoughts of himself.” Hayleigh pulled the tapes snug and then sat Jay up for even snugger hug.

“Thanks, sis.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

 

***

 

To Jay’s relief the outfit of the evening was the shirt and chino pants combo. It would have done well to hide the thick diaper when Jay walked, but the crotch strap of the blue harness pulled the hem of the shirt up and the pants against the diaper. Hayleigh held Jay’s lead when they walked into a warmly lighted restaurant.

Had they looked up the restaurant online they could have read that Eduardo’s was cozy and relaxed family owned Mexican restaurant at the heart of the town. There was no need for that. The Carneys already knew more than the internet offered to educate them with. They knew that the restaurant’s name came from the man behind the delicious recipes. They knew that he was hopeless with business matters, so his wife, Celia, took care of making the ends meet. They knew that Eduardo and Celia’s children loved to help around the restaurant, but only their youngest was truly keen to continue the business. They knew that they never needed a reservation.

“What a lovely sight my eyes see!” a woman in her fifties welcomed them in. Her narrow face had deep brown eyes that were in harmony with her black hair. The red flannel shirt she was wearing had some grease stained on it. Her jeans were covered by brown leather boots below her knees.

“It’s been a while.” She quickly hugged through the guests.

“Oh, it has, Celia. We can only resist a great burrito so long,” Shannon chatted along with Celia.

“Your usual corner booth is free.” Celia guided them to a table surrounded by wine red leather sofas. She continued quietly, “I thought we had scared you away with a food poisoning last time.”

The family chuckled at Celia’s joke.

“Now, now. Let me test my old head. Chicken enchiladas for the mother and pulled pork fajitas for Hayleigh.” Celia paused and pretended to ponder. “Am I forgetting something?”

“Me!” Jay peeped from the corner of the sofa where he slouched.

“Of course! The Junior Carney. Silly me! A beef burrito with the jalapenos on the side. Did I get it right?”

Jay nodded heartily. The jalapenos on the side had been Rhys’s idea. He always told Jay he would someday learn to like them, so every time Jay tasted one to know was the day there yet. Celia then took their drink orders.

“The drinks are on the house to celebrate the return of our most loyal customers. I’ll bring them and the nachos shortly.”

Shannon thanked Celia for her generosity.

Only after Celia had scribbled down their drinks and left, Jay realized she hadn’t said a word about or taken a longer look at the harness Jay was wearing. Celia knew her way in the field of customer service, how to make the guests comfortable and give them a memorable visit. It contrasted her rational business expertise.

The family enjoyed their dinner, stuffing themselves with the spicy food. When they were filled to the brim, Shannon wiped Jay’s cheek clean of guacamole with a napkin. An older woman — likely in her sixties — had shot them dirty looks from a nearby table while chatting quietly with her woman friend the whole time they had been there. The women stood up from their table and picked up their handbags to leave. As they did, the woman who had been eyeing them came over to the Carneys’ table.

“With experience from raising four children, I tell you teaching your children how to behave is better than strapping them in a harness.”

The woman’s stuck up tone rubbed Shannon the wrong way from head to toes. She stared deep into the woman’s soul as she spoke up. “My child here is neuroatypical, so I do not give a damn about your advice. Now if you don’t mind, we would continue to enjoy our evening here as we were before you rudely interrupted us.”

The woman gasped, turned on her heals and left without saying another word.

“Some people always have to speak their mind,” Shannon muttered bitterly.

Jay was profoundly embarrassed. The old hag had assumed he was an unruly kid that had to be kept on a short leash. Was that the image he was selling to every passer-by? And what had his mother called him?

“Mom, what’s neuro… atypical?”

“It’s a person whose brain hasn’t developed normally which gives them features that aren’t seen as ordinary,” Shannon explained in a way Jay would understand.

“For example, someone with autism or Down syndrome,” Hayleigh pitched in.

The explanation puzzled Jay. “But my brain is normal?”

“Mom said it just to get rid of the old bitch.”

Jay grinned and Shannon came close to inhaling some of the iced tea she was drinking. “Hayleigh! Do not use that word.”

“What? That’s what she was.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not a nice word.”

The family’s mood recovered as they chatted about the movie they were going to watch and plans for the day after. The weather was to be warm and schedule empty, so they agreed on spending the day by the pool. By the time the discussion had derailed from the pool to a brain-eating amoeba a girl in North Carolina contracted while rafting, Celia showed up to the table.

“The chef sends his greetings. Unfortunately, he is too busy to leave the kitchen tonight.”

“No worries. Tell him hi for me. The food was even more delicious than we remembered,” Shannon replied.

“Thank you! I will.” Celia gave the plates a quick look. “The empty plates do tell me you are saying that from the bottom of your heart. Are jalapenos still too hot for the young taste buds?” Celia asked, looking at the remaining two and a half jalapenos of the three that came on the side.

“Yea, I chugged half of my Coke after one bite,” Jay admitted.

“You know what? This calls for some ice cream to balance the spiciness.” Celia gave the dessert idea whilst stacking the plates.

Jay would have readily accepted the idea, but Shannon intervened. “We are going to the movies, so have to leave some room for popcorn.”

“I see. What are you going to watch?”

“Finding Dory. Fish themed things is bit of our inside joke now,” Hayleigh answered and looked at Jay meaningfully.

“Oh, my kids loved Finding Nemo when they were little. I didn’t know Dory had gotten her own movie. I doubt I can coax my kids to come watch it with me anymore. Perhaps I go see it by myself.”

“These movies are just as much for adults as for kids, you can even get more out of them as an adult. You should give it a shot.” Shannon pulled back the sleeve of her cardigan to reveal her wristwatch. “We need to get going soon. Can we get the bill, please?”

“Yes, of course. Just a moment.”

Hayleigh excused herself to the restroom while Shannon paid for their food. Quite jealously, Jay looked her leave the table. He was imprisoned in his restroom and the urge to go had been creeping up on him during their dinner. In the crowded restaurant the ease he had learned to empty his bladder with seemed to have disappeared from his head like a rabbit from magician’s hat. One moment it was there and then it simply wasn’t. His mind was pulling tricks at him. Jay alternated between pushing his bladder with abdominal muscles and relaxing every inch of his body to let the stream go, glancing nervously around himself to be sure no one’s eyes were fixated on him. His eyes met someone else’s. The someone kept staring at him. The someone was a girl couple of years younger than Jay few tables over. She must have been intrigued by Jay’s harness. Jay scowled at the girl. She swiftly turned her head and sat upright in her chair.

The padding between Jay’s legs was wet when Hayleigh came back from her toilet break and Shannon left to have hers. Hayleigh sat down next to Jay, glanced over her shoulder to see no one was eavesdropping before speaking to Jay quietly. “How’s your diaper doing?”

Jay shifted anxiously on the sofa and answered in volume decibels lower than Hayleigh’s. “I’ve wet it once.”

“Then it should hold until we get home. We forgot to bring a change.”

Getting changed in a public restroom hadn’t crossed Jay’s mind as a possibility, so he readily accepted wearing the damp diaper for rest of the night out.

Jay looked around the restaurant, waiting for Shannon to return. He caught the curious girl eyeing him again. This time Jay raised his eyebrow to wordlessly ask what the matter with her was. She slightly lowered the side of her jeans and lifted the hem of her cardigan. Jay narrowed his eyes. Outline of a pink garment was what he could make out. The girl winked at him and covered herself again. Jay was outright confused. Why was a girl — let alone a girl younger than him — showing him a glimpse of her underwear and then winking in a supposedly meaningful way? In a movie he had seen a woman stuff her panties into a pocket of a man, then leave winking at the man. It was an adult thing Jay didn’t understand. This couldn’t be like that. A girl younger than him should be non the wiser about adult things.

The girl rolled her eyes at Jay, he was not catching on. She tapped her crotch and then pointed at Jay who slowly glanced down and back at the girl before he understood. Diapers. The girl had shown him outline of her diaper or pull-up. Jay assumed the latter from the little bulge there was to see at the girl’s crotch. Jay smiled to the girl with odd sensation of connection and tingling of embarrassment. The girl’s table was served their desserts, so she turned away to enjoy her bowl of ice cream. The two made no eye contact again and the Carneys went on their way to the movies.

 

***

 

The salty popcorn made Jay down ounces of soda while watching the adventures of a fish with the poorest short-term memory in the whole wide ocean. By the end of the movie the padding between the boy’s legs had doubled in size, forcing Jay’s legs wider apart. When the credits rolled, Jay walked out of the auditorium with a visible waddle. Shannon took notice of it.

“That diaper isn’t really meant for a mobile kid,” Shannon said quietly in the noisy lobby.

Jay nodded. “It’s rubbing my thighs a bit.”

“Now it would be good to have your stroller.”

“I have a stroller?”

“Not yet. It should come tomorrow.”

Less walking with more embarrassment. Jay deemed it a worthy trade. He wanted to ask was there anything else yet to be delivered, but Hayleigh cut in.

“I need to use the restroom quick.”

“Me too. Jay, wait out here. We’ll be back in a minute.”

“Okay, mom.” Jay was left in the lobby nearby the restroom door.

Minutes passed and Jay got bored of standing around. Movie trailers were playing on the screens in the distance near the entrance of the theatre. Jay walked over to the screens to see better. The trailer of Central Intelligence had engrossed Jay when someone called him from behind.

“Hey kiddo!”

Jay didn’t realize the person was calling him until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and a girl in her late teens was smiling down to him. She was wearing a grey and red staff uniform. Her name was Lily according to the badge on the right side of her chest.

“Hi there, sweetheart. What are you doing here all alone?” she asked, her hand still on Jay’s shoulder.

Jay stared back at her, wondering had the girl lost her mind. He couldn’t be the first 10-year-old boy to wander inside the theatre alone.

“I’m just waiting for my mother and sister.”

The girl looked around, expecting someone to run over to the boy and tell him off for sneaking away. She couldn’t see anyone.

“Where did they go?”

Lily still had her hand on Jay which was beginning to unnerve the boy. “To… To the restroom. Look, I can go over there to wait for them. It’s all good.”

Jay turned to return to the restroom door, but Lily grabbed the handle on the back of his harness. The harness. Jay had forgotten he had it on. Then it all made sense to him.

Lily bent down to Jay’s eye level. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t let you walk away before I see you’re with your guardian.”

“I’m… I’m not actually… Err… Special needs. It’s a funny thing, ‘cause, you know…”

“Uh-huh. Let’s go to the restroom to see is your mommy in there.”

Jay rolled his eyes as Lily held firmly onto the harness as she walked with Jay. At the restroom door the pair ran into a problem.

“I can’t take you to the ladies’ room.”

Jay saw his opportunity arise. “You can go. I’ll wait right here.”

He was ready to bail as soon as Lily agreed and went through the door. Except she didn’t. She called a nearby colleague over instead. Jay gritted his teeth.

“Tina, would you go in the restroom and call for…” Lily paused and turned to Jay. “What’s your mommy’s name?”

“Shannon Carney.”

“Thank you, sweetie.” She turned back to her colleague. “Call for Shannon Carney. This is her son.”

Tina left to look for the lost boy’s mother in the restroom. Meanwhile Lily did her best to keep chatting with Jay.

“I’m so rude. I never introduced myself. My name is Lily. What’s yours?”

“Jay, and I was trying to say earlier that I’m not special needs. I can take care of myself and even find my way home. Just le—”

“Right, I’m seventeen. How old are you?”

“I— I—” Jay pulled his hair in frustration. He gave up. As soon as Tilda, or whatever the restroom scouting woman was called, found his mother, he would get rid of this girl. “I’m this old!” he exclaimed and sarcastically showed Lily ten fingers and then mumbled “damn it” under his breath.

Tina returned from the restroom, alone. “I’m afraid there’s no mother in there.”

Jay wasn’t prepared for this turn of events. He was starting to feel as lost as Lily thought he was.

“How… I’m sure they went in there!”

“Oh no, don’t worry, sweetie. We’ll find your mommy,” Lily reassured the agitated boy.

This wasn’t good at all, Jay thought. What began as a comical misunderstanding was exploding out of proportions. He had no clue what they would do next, who they would get involved. He had to get away.

“Let me go! I wanna go home!” Jay struggled against Lily’s grip on the harness. Lily closed him into a tight embrace from behind. Jay was looking a lot like the kind of person he claimed not to be.

“Jay, you need to calm down. Everything is gonna be alright.”

The people in the lobby closest to the scene had frozen to watch. Out of energy and breath, Jay gave up struggling.

“I’m not special needs,” Jay paused for air and continued, “I’m just in this stupid harness.”

Lily rubbed Jay’s shoulder. “Come on, I know a quiet room where we can figure out how to find your mom.”

She dragged Jay from his harness to a backroom behind the cash registers.

 

                                                                  

Some months passed once again before I found my inner writer and finished another chapter. I left this one at quite an evil cliffhanger. I'll try not to leave you hanging for months.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
J

Edited October 15, 2020 by TheJ
Fixed jalapeno mathematics that didn't quite calculate.