Binge and Purge Cycles, What Is Your Story?

[Toddy]

I did a cursory search and didn't find a thread that matches. My apologies if this has been talked-to-death. Perhaps it could make for a good pinned topic...

[Baby Brian]

Good topic. Growing up I've always been drawn to diapers for reasons I don't full understand. When ever I was able to get some I would try my best to hide them in my room. I got quite creative, but my mom would always snoop and find them- then throw them out.

This was before the advent of the Internet, and I was always led to believe it was abnormal, unhealthy, I was the only one, and that I should stop wanting them (if only that was possible). All this time I would experience the classic binge/purge we still hear about today. I would get some and enjoy them for a short period then my mom would find them and throw it all away. Lather, rinse, repeat.

After going though this for years, and with much debate and other reasons, I decided to join the military in hopes their own reconditioning and lack of privacy would help "cure" me of wanting diapers. This barely worked for about a year, but the whole time my desire for them never went away and found myself still want g to wear them.

They say be careful what you wish for as you just might get it. One day I was severely injured while on duty and had (among things) gotten bruising and shock to my lower spine. This problem was completely overlooked by my doctors and me as I was laid up and immobilized with great pain from other more serious injuries. (note this was only discovered years later due to worsening back problems, and is inferred as what had likely been the cause of what I learned was actually urge incontinence). I also had a catheter placed in me for a week or two due to my immobility and injuries.

Once the catheter was removed I noticed I had a increased need to go very often. Unfortunately for me it was dismissed as a side effect of my injuries. After three months I was released from the hospital with a long leg cast that anchored and slowed me down. I immediately realized I was often unable to get to the bathroom before I had to release my bladder due to spasms and pain in my bladder. Once again this was dismissed because of my mobility problems.

I was told to just "wear protection for just in case" until my cast came off. You'd think I would have been secretly elated to be able to wear diapers when ever I'd want and have a perfect excuse. Unfortunately that did not help as I was stuck in horrible diapers that leaked very often. It's one thing to be able to choose when you're diapered, but completely different when you are reliant forced into them.

Over time I have learned not to use the cheap diapers I could get for free at the base (or subsequently the VA), and to just buy my own premium diapers which I can trust to not leak. I've also learned that even just liking to wear diapers isn't so abnormal, let alone unhealthy, as I was originally led to believe.

I've found those close to me have been able to accept me for who I am (diapers and all). That strangers and coworkers around me don't notice I'm wearing even thick diapers (or at least don't care enough to say anything). And I've learned (for me) that I like wearing diapers 24/7 even if I have to. At least now I don't have to worry about that old binge/purge cycle either.

[AwakenEvil]

I can honestly say I've never gone through any binge and purge cycle but i can say I go from periods of wearing a lot and all of a sudden I'm not wearing for a while.

[vvp39]

Although my experience has been with plastic pants and other plastic garments instead of diapers, I went through a couple of classic binge-and-purge cycles in my earlier years, and for similar reasons - but would always keep one or two plastic panties. Finally with the advance of the internet and the realization that I was not one-of-a-kind in this, and with increased self-knowledge and self-acceptance I left binge-and-purge cycles behind. In fact I have quite a few things that could well be discarded, but haven't yet.

[WakkoWannaBe]

I haven't hit a classic binge/purge cycle as far as diapers are concerned. Once or twice, when I didn't have any diapers hidden away, I did feel an elevated desire to wear diapers. But classic binge purge? No.

[CDLover]

I have never binged and purged with diapers.

[AwakenEvil]

Oh Wacko I totally understand the whole binge watching TV series... TNG and Voyager at least once a year!

[WakkoWannaBe]

aahhh Voyager! Man, every Wednesday the whole family scrambled to watch Voyager, ha. Which is funny because, from what I've been told, most (or at least some) of the hardcore Trekkies consider Voyager to be the worst of them all. I haven't seen the other runs. Maybe the fans are sexist, maybe there's something else I don't know about o.O.

[DLdapper]

I have not entered a mindset where a binge/purge cycle could occur with abdl. I think this is because I do not feel ashamed about doing it and I have chosen to make it a part of my lifestyle. At this point in my life it is just a matter of determining how much of my entertainment money I spend of abdl supplies. It's just another thing in the budget to balance now.

[LilFozzyJ5]

I have gone through many binge/ purges over the years, to the point that I gave my old abdl Hotmail account a crazy password I couldn't even guess what it is now, which in turn stopped me from re-using my old DD account.

My cycle started when I was a kid in the eighties due to guilt, fear, need and pleasure (Both sexual and emotional). I didn't have a lot to throw away, my binge/purge was based on the act of playing as a baby with nappies and such, then feeling so bad and worried I would be caught, stopping until the need became to much and risking it all again.

In the military it all had to stop until I got single man accommodation, then the experiments started again with bath towels and such.

Even when I found out I was not alone and it was ok thanks to the internet, my need to binge and purge this lifestyle has not stopped, which shows by my log history on this site...

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

I don't do binge/purge cycles, never have, never will. I might wear for several days of several weeks of several months in a row and then go for a long stretch without wearing, but I never get rid of diapers that I haven't worn. As soon as I'm in the mood to wear again, I just pick up where I left off with what I have. Sometimes I "stock up" when I'm out of diapers and need to get more, but that's not really "binging" as much as its "restocking."

[Baby Brian]

I have gone through many binge/ purges over the years, to the point that I gave my old abdl Hotmail account a crazy password I couldn't even guess what it is now, which in turn stopped me from re-using my old DD account.

My cycle started when I was a kid in the eighties due to guilt, fear, need and pleasure (Both sexual and emotional). I didn't have a lot to throw away, my binge/purge was based on the act of playing as a baby with nappies and such, then feeling so bad and worried I would be caught, stopping until the need became to much and risking it all again.

In the military it all had to stop until I got single man accommodation, then the experiments started again with bath towels and such.

Even when I found out I was not alone and it was ok thanks to the internet, my need to binge and purge this lifestyle has not stopped, which shows by my log history on this site...

[Hades]

I have gone through a few cycles before I realized I wasn't alone in liking diapers. It's ironic really. As a child, I was a bed wetter. And by child I mean until I was 13. I wet the bed at a friends house ( which the parents discreetly took care of) and when my class was offered the chance to go to this camp for a week, I really wanted to go. My mother repeatedly offered the idea that I should wear goodnights. I remember how fervently I refused to wear diapers. I find this funny, since I had been interested in them for years. Still, I refused. I wet the bed twice that week. Again, the staff cleaned it up. I was pretty embarrassed. Eventually my niece was born, and this was when I began to indulge myself. I would periodically steal some diapers. Eventually, I would feel disgusted with myself. Like I was a freak, and I would toss them out, or sneak them back to my sister's.

[Demon-hunter]

i struggle with it still

[Hades]

You can find that balance. I have a wife and a 2 year old son. I have a job and plenty of responsibilities. I wear diapers for comfort, in order to relax and de-stress. But when I have to be an adult who doesn't wear diapers, then I am. That part of myself is a private thing.

[BitterGrey]

It would be great if acceptance - or at least awareness of how to navigate the cycle - made binge-purge cycles a thing of the past.

[Demon-hunter]

im trying, but it hard tho.

[whisko]

i've thrown away quite a few bags of stuff that would now make me some good money in vintage resale... but it's not like i would have kept it in good condition anyhow ;-)

[BlankieLover]

I first purged my AB wear about a year or 2 after I started realling indulging in it. I was in my early 20's and away from home so that meant I could order these things dicreetly and have privacy to play dress-up. I struggled with accepting my AB for many years so have purged 3 times now. The first 2 times I had a look at myself in full dress-up and a voice inside told me that what I was doing was crazy; I was ashamed of my desires. I immediately binned everything before I had a chance to change my mind. It would only be a matter of months before the urge to be an AB would return and I would set about re-buying all the nice things I dumped. The third time was a little different but still bound up in shame and embarrassment. I was dressing less and less as an AB, it had become much more of a background thing. I thought that I could make the leap to ridding myself of the desire altogether, Of course, it failed and thankfully I got to a place where I fully accepted and embraced it. Now I am much more confident and am connecting with ABDL's and the lifestyle more.

[Guest]

Every once in a blue moon, I throw out some AB stuff, but only if I don't like it, or don't use it. It's spring cleaning.

Since being on my own, I went one year without diapers, but those were unique circumstances.

I don't know if I'm different, or the person who thinks binge/purge cycles are something for older ABs, but I've never had one. I've had periods where my interest in wearing goes up and down, but I've never felt the shame associated with binge/purge. To my mind, there's nothing to be ashamed of, and throwing away things you like is always regretted later.

[Kari]

I'm glad you brought this up, as I think it's relevant to many who are AB/DL.

I've been a DL practically all my life.

In my early 20's I finally had the privacy and access to purchase & wear diapers.

But this came with some shame and regret. So it was difficult to accept myself that way.

I thought I was the only person in the world to have these urges.

It was before the modern day internet and there weren't sites like this one.

I cannot remember how many times I got rid of anything and everything diaper related.

Then a few weeks or months later, I'd be buying and wearing diapers again.

The realization that there were many others like me was when I accepted this part of myself.

It not only saved me a lot of money, but also a lot of frustration with myself.

My advice to anyone who feels like purging is to store things out of site for a while.

If they decide to go back to wearing, it should curb the binge cycle, I believe.

Nowadays, I take many breaks from wearing. But I know the desire will return.

So, I just store things away until that time. And have no regrets in between.

[langtab]

I have had maannnyyy binges and purges. Many of them were out of guilt of who I am versus who I thought I should be. I would try and make my life better and chuck everything I have in the garbage.