I Can't Be That Much Smarter

[Incontinent Jennifer]

One of the incontinence boards I was on insists I'm an AB/DL because my description of what happened with Jeff was "too well written" and "thought out".

I find it sad that so many people are poorly educated to the point that an inteligent girl sets off their red flags.

See what I was alking about though... So many message boards about incontinence insist that so many people are AD/DL. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with AD/DLs, but those boards shun me, insisting I am one. If not, they shun me cause I sympathize with the ABs. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand how you have so much fun in diapers, but there's certainly nothing horrible about it.

There must be something wrong with me, I can't even get support from people with the same condition.

[digger58610]

yes you can jennifer,,, right here. i troll the incontinenece boards for information, but mainly post here.

no one judges you here, and thats what i like. ive met some very nice folks here, and prefer to post here as opposed to like depends or something like that.

ive seen people shunned on other boards, that i dont think should have been.

so smile, and dont let the assholes get you down.

HEY!!!!!!!!!

i said SMILE

[ABDLincontlady]

It's OK to learn to accept the need to wear a diaper as an incontinent by learning to "love" their relaxing softness and security comfort and doing other relaxing things as an AB like sucking on a pacifier when one is stressed. When I am stressed I have more problems with incontinence actually and destressing with AB activities can help.

[diapernh]

i have trolled the incont boards before. it seems that those people would just rather be prudish and think that if you have to wear diapers, you should never be comfortable with them, that you should never get used to the fact that you need them...... that you should always be in "woah is me, i am in a diaper, my life has ended" mode all the time.

As many have pointed out, you do not have to be in that mode. Why not accept the fact that you need diapers, and make lemonade out of the lemons that life has dealt you

[Incontinent Jennifer]

i have trolled the incont boards before. it seems that those people would just rather be prudish and think that if you have to wear diapers, you should never be comfortable with them, that you should never get used to the fact that you need them...... that you should always be in "woah is me, i am in a diaper, my life has ended" mode all the time.

As many have pointed out, you do not have to be in that mode. Why not accept the fact that you need diapers, and make lemonade out of the lemons that life has dealt you

I'm still upset that my posts in the other boards got nothing but acusations and insults. I posted a happy post, about something good, so I guess that's why they were so suspicious. If it had been about Jeff running off in disgust and wanting to kill myself, I'm sure they would've been far less mean.

[Topguy]

Jennifer, misery loves company.

Don't expect to get sympathy from people in denial, who are upset over needing to use protection.

You have managed to find a really good way of coping,.and loving and supportive partner....So of course,they are envious.....and envy often turns to spite. This place is different, people here have learned to cope with thier needs, and find some happiness in diapers........

If the other broads, and the harpies there upset you- just stop going there. The incom community here is very tolerant, and I'm sure you will have a much more enjoyable experience.

[Guest diamondback688]

i dont bother trolling the incontinence message boards anymore for just that reason...

[Ineedachangin]

Keep being positive, ignore those that are negative and let them live thier lives in self-pity. You will find out who your "real" friends are, and in the end you will help others along the way.

[dlsmd]

i would hav quoted evre ones reply but thare right

u can ask curious, garyandjenny, peedpants what my fellings r but ill tell u

u r who u r so F*@% the rest of them

sowwy a baby cussing hahahahaha

dont get me roung sometimes it dosent help but that what a paci id for

[diapereddave]

Jenn, I dont accuse you as being an AB/DL. I actually am very happy that you have found a real man, one that is willing to accept you for you, and not let something so trivial as a diaper get in his way. Diapers are what make you you. And it isny just the diapers that makes a person an AB. Try to keep up with an upbeat and positive mood, and Smile, life is way to short to be upset because of closeminded, stuck up, people that have no right to accuse anyone.

[Ineedachangin]

One thing took look at.... these people don't know you personally, so don't take it personally. Keep your spirits up here's to a dry night

[val onwheels]

Them incont boards and chats are stuffy stuck up folks lol.

[nappy_pins]

From my own experiance there are 3 types of diaper/nappy wearers....those who have to for medical reasons......those who have a fetish and its a sexual thing....and those who are AB.

Sometimes the boundaries get blurred or change......mine have ...and I am so thankful for all the help and support I have been given by all 3 groups...especially those who have too....since the other 2 have a choice whether to wear or not.

I get very depressed at times...well true is I suffer from it like alot of people in here....and the AB side or frillies or the pretty panties make it easier to cope...just like a fashion thing in a way.

Yes the people who have to wear...me included now will always be treated slighty or worse badly treated...because we are disabled to a lesser or greater extent and dispite what people or the law says.... disabled is different....people dont like different.

But dont let this get or put you down..... I have met some wonderful people in here......I dont know if they are black white short or tall...I dont know if they are christain muslim or hindi......I dont know if the transexual homosexual or lesbian.........I do know they wear diapers or nappies for a reason.........be nice to people and they will be nice to you....well most of the time.

P.S. being a sissy aint a bowl of roses either...some people dont that.......but in the end its the person inside that matters and are they nice to chat to and will they be there for you.

[iamafemalebaby]

The thing is - is that people who don't have to wear want to lose control and the people who have lost control want to regain it. Isn't that always the way.

I am just glad that there is an AB community out there that accepts everyone whether they are inco or not. We all try and help and support people in here and as Pinz said doesn't matter what their colour creed or race is we are all in this together.

I have met such lovely people not only in DD but on the intenet and got some fantastic advice over hte years.

If it helps people who are inco to make headway in their lives then it can't be a bad thing in my opinion and same for people who enjoy wearing it brings us all closer together and gives us a great community to play in.

So whatever your bag - you are not a freak or wierd you are just sharing in what is a wonderful community so be proud and enjoy the support offered by so many people here.

[kootzkoo]

Sexuality is a very scary thing for most people (I'm trying to overcome it on myself) but it's really just a very natural and wonderful thing once you think about it. Ask anyone their fetish (when nearly all of our population has one) they'll be shy to give it out, which is unfortunate but we have to accept that we're afraid.

For all of you who find happiness and bliss and feel as if all their life problems have been washed away temporarily and find themselves in a state of ecstasy when using diapers or participating in adult baby play. You should feel very honoured and be very happy to have that gift of ecstasy. If your sexuality is about you and in no way harms anyone then there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Love your body.

Thank You.

I also want to add to the part about people not accepting you - I know it's hard to say but if they are not open minded enough to accept another part of your sexuality then they are not really worth your time. Now they are close-minded about diapers what else would they be close minded on if you ask? The ecstasy felt during these diaper and adult baby rituals are a very wonderful and phenomal thing.. love it and accept it or else you won't be able to love yourself

[Jedward]

Jennifer all I can say is that there are a lot of ignorant fool out there. I read you story and it reminded my of when I told my then girl-friend now wife of 6 years. The two I had told before that left me, slow I came to realize that is was them not me in that situation. The best bit or advice I can give is from Theodore Geisell "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." You might know him better as Dr Seuss.

[Michael32433]

ture be happy to you have friends like us who understand you am i right guys and girls

[Frink]

I Can't Be That Much Smarter

In all honesty, you probably can.

[Gennie]

Jennifer,

If I may try to answer your comment about not understanding why non-incontinent people like diapers. I'm getting pretty good at this, since I'm still trying to explain it to my mom. She still insists that God can fix me! I'm not sure I'm 'broke.'

Let me tell you a little about myself first, to give you a clue as to what I am.

I am a 48 year old male, abused emotionally and mentally as a child, as well as physically, and some sexual abuse, but not from within my family. I am very intelligent (borderline genius, if you believe the IQ tests), but I'm not all that smart, I guess. Intelligent, but quite often dumb. LOL

As far as those who voluntarily wear, I believe there is fetish, paraphilia, and True Infantilism. Fetish and paraphilia often fall into the sexual category, either as a sexual deviance (defined by others, not me) or a sexual 'aid.' This applies to both DLs and ABs. On the other hand, True Infantilism starts at a very young age, and is with a person their whole life. From people I've talked to, and my own experience, I believe that there is probably an overlap, as nothing is ever cut and dry.

I consider myself to be a 'True Infantilist.' I really *do* want to be a baby again, but I also realize that it is impossible for me to be such. I have also said that I would like to be 24/7, but realize that is also not attainable, and even if it was, it's not something I really want. That statement is contradictory, but then how many times has a child made the same type of statement.

True Infantilism is often related to a transitional object. A Transitional Object is something that helps you get from one stage of life to another, and while we may not recognize them as such, they help connect one part of our life with another. One of the most famous Transitional Objects is the 'Red Sports Car' at about age 40-50 for men. It allows us men to connect with our 'younger selves' and lets us move gracefully (if somewhat quickly, with numerous speeding tickets) into our 'mature' years.

Moving from, say toddler to preschooler, and out of diapers and being dependent on Mommy, is even more stressful, because we don't have the ability to put our fears and misgivings into a rational thought pattern. Our babyhood may indeed be a transitional object in and off itself, as well as our diapers. As we are potty trained, and given rewards, and nurtured along, we come to realize that growing up isn't quite as bad as we thought it was, and we leave behind, willingly, those things that comforted us. That's a normal development.

In an abnormal development, which may be induced by abuse, we crave the safety, security and comfort of a time when we were not abused, and we were allowed to be what we were (a child, or a baby). As we are forced into the future, he have no safe haven, no understanding that everything will be okay. We only see more of where we are, more of the fears that surround and inundate us, and we strive to return to a place of safety.

These people, instead of leaving the transitional object behind, cling all the more tightly to it, as it is a safety line, so to speak. These people may grow up to be functional, even successful individuals, but they still have that safety line attached to them, all the way back to the nursery. And, the more stressful the situation, the stronger the attachment to that lifeline becomes, and the harder (for most of us, near impossibility) it is for us to part with it. In fact, it is my belief that it becomes an engrained brain engram, a neural pathway that is impossible to re-route.

I remember the happiest times of my life, playing 'baby' as a child. My most vivid memories were of those times. My first memory was of putting batteries in my underwear to pretend I had messed myself. I have fond memories of playing in a high chair when I was seven or eight, in front of my friends, and not understanding why they laughed at me. I wasn't hurt, I was sharing who and what I was, but they didn't understand, and I didn't understand (until later) the ridicule.

In addition to being a True Infantilist, I also consider myself to be transgendered. I wish to be a woman, a little girl, actually. I believe that this may also be related to abuse, but may also be a neuro-psychological developmental issue as well.

For those of us who wear voluntarily, for 'pleasure', some of it *is* for a sensual feeling. Diapers *are* sensual, especially to a man with his exposed penis wet and warm. It is very erotic, or at least *can* be. My diapers can be sensual without being erotic. DLs and some ABs derive pleasure from the eroticism of being in diapers, or being babied. Others, like me, derive a sense of safety and security, something we haven't had in a long time. For additional reading, let me suggest Kathi Stringer's site:

http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/index.htm

I hope this sheds a little light for you.

Gary

[Incontinent Jennifer]

Jennifer,

If I may try to answer your comment about not understanding why non-incontinent people like diapers. I'm getting pretty good at this, since I'm still trying to explain it to my mom. She still insists that God can fix me! I'm not sure I'm 'broke.'

Let me tell you a little about myself first, to give you a clue as to what I am.

I am a 48 year old male, abused emotionally and mentally as a child, as well as physically, and some sexual abuse, but not from within my family. I am very intelligent (borderline genius, if you believe the IQ tests), but I'm not all that smart, I guess. Intelligent, but quite often dumb. LOL

As far as those who voluntarily wear, I believe there is fetish, paraphilia, and True Infantilism. Fetish and paraphilia often fall into the sexual category, either as a sexual deviance (defined by others, not me) or a sexual 'aid.' This applies to both DLs and ABs. On the other hand, True Infantilism starts at a very young age, and is with a person their whole life. From people I've talked to, and my own experience, I believe that there is probably an overlap, as nothing is ever cut and dry.

I consider myself to be a 'True Infantilist.' I really *do* want to be a baby again, but I also realize that it is impossible for me to be such. I have also said that I would like to be 24/7, but realize that is also not attainable, and even if it was, it's not something I really want. That statement is contradictory, but then how many times has a child made the same type of statement.

True Infantilism is often related to a transitional object. A Transitional Object is something that helps you get from one stage of life to another, and while we may not recognize them as such, they help connect one part of our life with another. One of the most famous Transitional Objects is the 'Red Sports Car' at about age 40-50 for men. It allows us men to connect with our 'younger selves' and lets us move gracefully (if somewhat quickly, with numerous speeding tickets) into our 'mature' years.

Moving from, say toddler to preschooler, and out of diapers and being dependent on Mommy, is even more stressful, because we don't have the ability to put our fears and misgivings into a rational thought pattern. Our babyhood may indeed be a transitional object in and off itself, as well as our diapers. As we are potty trained, and given rewards, and nurtured along, we come to realize that growing up isn't quite as bad as we thought it was, and we leave behind, willingly, those things that comforted us. That's a normal development.

In an abnormal development, which may be induced by abuse, we crave the safety, security and comfort of a time when we were not abused, and we were allowed to be what we were (a child, or a baby). As we are forced into the future, he have no safe haven, no understanding that everything will be okay. We only see more of where we are, more of the fears that surround and inundate us, and we strive to return to a place of safety.

These people, instead of leaving the transitional object behind, cling all the more tightly to it, as it is a safety line, so to speak. These people may grow up to be functional, even successful individuals, but they still have that safety line attached to them, all the way back to the nursery. And, the more stressful the situation, the stronger the attachment to that lifeline becomes, and the harder (for most of us, near impossibility) it is for us to part with it. In fact, it is my belief that it becomes an engrained brain engram, a neural pathway that is impossible to re-route.

I remember the happiest times of my life, playing 'baby' as a child. My most vivid memories were of those times. My first memory was of putting batteries in my underwear to pretend I had messed myself. I have fond memories of playing in a high chair when I was seven or eight, in front of my friends, and not understanding why they laughed at me. I wasn't hurt, I was sharing who and what I was, but they didn't understand, and I didn't understand (until later) the ridicule.

In addition to being a True Infantilist, I also consider myself to be transgendered. I wish to be a woman, a little girl, actually. I believe that this may also be related to abuse, but may also be a neuro-psychological developmental issue as well.

For those of us who wear voluntarily, for 'pleasure', some of it *is* for a sensual feeling. Diapers *are* sensual, especially to a man with his exposed penis wet and warm. It is very erotic, or at least *can* be. My diapers can be sensual without being erotic. DLs and some ABs derive pleasure from the eroticism of being in diapers, or being babied. Others, like me, derive a sense of safety and security, something we haven't had in a long time. For additional reading, let me suggest Kathi Stringer's site:

http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/index.htm

I hope this sheds a little light for you.

Gary

It definately does

[turtlepins]

One of the incontinence boards I was on insists I'm an AB/DL because my description of what happened with Jeff was "too well written" and "thought out".

I find it sad that so many people are poorly educated to the point that an inteligent girl sets off their red flags.

See what I was alking about though... So many message boards about incontinence insist that so many people are AD/DL. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with AD/DLs, but those boards shun me, insisting I am one. If not, they shun me cause I sympathize with the ABs. I don't see what the big deal is. I don't understand how you have so much fun in diapers, but there's certainly nothing horrible about it.

There must be something wrong with me, I can't even get support from people with the same condition.

I've never been anywhere else but in here, Jennifer, so I don't really know what you're talking about. My psychologist tells me that there's a shift taking place in her area of expertise. Since I'm incontinent and an AB/DL she has been interested in finding out all about it. Old schools of thought are hard to change! The theory of relativity, the theory of evolution, freudian psychology, and others are still entrenched dogma in our world despite the fact that all evidence points elsewhere!

People are always quick to judge. We tend to think the worst things first too, I'm sorry to say. Don't stop being yourself! I thought your story was great! Thanks for writing so well.

[WickyWoo]

Old schools of thought are hard to change! The theory of relativity, the theory of evolution, freudian psychology, and others are still entrenched dogma in our world despite the fact that all evidence points elsewhere!

Not wanting to start a war here, but I was unware (as apparently is the legitimate, peer-reviewed scientific community) that either relativity or evolution had been disproven.

I think you'll find that most of the "evidence" against either one is from people who, when you trace back their credentials have no bloody idea WHAT their talking about, or that their research has been conclusively

debunked on multiple levels by multiple people, usually because wild leaps of logic are taken to reach the conclusion they want. Science is about the search for truth, and over and over again, the scientific method, when followed properly, has proven time and again to be humanity's best tool.

If you want to debate the subject, feel free to PM me so as not to clog up the thread or the board

[Tinkles123]

I don't know that the power of social taboo is demonstrated anywhere more vividly than it is with regard to diapers and who has/has not the right to wear them.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to wear a diaper, for whatever reason, ought to be able to do so unmolested by anyone who might question their need and/or choice. Unless the smell of another person's diaper is consistently offensive, or unless s/he leaks more than very occasionally on seats that others need to occupy, or unless s/he disposes of used diapers in an inappropriate way, I don't see why anyone has to care about another person's diaper wearing.

Not all incontinents are conceited, stuck up, or judgmental of others, by the way.

[Dill_Pickle]

I've never been anywhere else but in here, Jennifer, so I don't really know what you're talking about. My psychologist tells me that there's a shift taking place in her area of expertise. Since I'm incontinent and an AB/DL she has been interested in finding out all about it. Old schools of thought are hard to change! The theory of relativity, the theory of evolution, freudian psychology, and others are still entrenched dogma in our world despite the fact that all evidence points elsewhere!

People are always quick to judge. We tend to think the worst things first too, I'm sorry to say. Don't stop being yourself! I thought your story was great! Thanks for writing so well.

Turtlepins:

I am a scientist, by way of credentials I have a degree in engineering and one issued patent. Relativity works very well in terms of the parts that can be tested. Yes, there is some argument about what happens at large scales, mainly because we have no real data. All of the "creation science" websites I have visited have been excellent examples of the adage:

"Figures don't lie, but liars figure"

By this I mean, they will cite a number of examples of where radioactive dating has given the wrong age for something as it's best guess. What they don't tell you is that if you assume reasonable error bounds on the measurements, and propagate those through the calculations, you find out that the correct age for something is within the error bounds of the calculation.

A better argument is to ask about the meaning of the word "day" in the bible. For example, even in english, we talk about the day of the horse and buggy, or say some piece of obsolete equipment was state of the art in it's day.

Finally, if god is almighty, he can also create the world to look as old or as young as he wants to...and maybe he did that just yesterday, but we don't know that since he gave us all memories of the day before yesterday...

[Incontinent Jennifer]

I don't know that the power of social taboo is demonstrated anywhere more vividly than it is with regard to diapers and who has/has not the right to wear them.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who wants to wear a diaper, for whatever reason, ought to be able to do so unmolested by anyone who might question their need and/or choice. Unless the smell of another person's diaper is consistently offensive, or unless s/he leaks more than very occasionally on seats that others need to occupy, or unless s/he disposes of used diapers in an inappropriate way, I don't see why anyone has to care about another person's diaper wearing.

Not all incontinents are conceited, stuck up, or judgmental of others, by the way.

See, that's how I feel about diaper wearers who don't NEED to wear them. If they aren't getting pee all over and don't spend hours subjecting others to smelly diapers, when why should anybody complain about them.

As far as people who dispose of any diapers inappropriately, they are pretty far down at the bottom of my list. I HATE seeing diapers left in parking lots, or at the side of the road. This is MY planet too!