nappy_pins

wow.....been there, got the tee shirt. I have been suffered clinical depression since puberty...just didnt know what it was called. 10 years ago went to doc and the diagnosis was made...so then started venlafaxine.......and all my problems started. whilst up until then I was a DL it then became all too real....I suffered urine rention and had to start self cath....hated it then moved on to indwelling cath...finally the connection was made with the meds!!!!....I then had 8 weeks of cold turkey and I am now on citalipream because the rate of retention is suppose to be lower...is it heck!!....so now I have a super pubic cath...all because of anti depressants. And when I get an infection...jesus......the spasms which lead to contant wetting with no warning mean 24/7 for a week or so.....so anti depressants have some serious dside effects. What would happen if I stopped taking them...I wouldnt be here writing!!!....so I have to put up with the side effects until they grind me down to such an extent that the shrink team has to take over. Hopefully the episodes between will get longer...I live in hope. Sorry if I have run on a bit.....just telling it like it is

well...just a short update on things.......and answering another question at the same time. Its been a week since I had my super pubic cath inserted...wow strange to say at least!!!...but I now have the facility to pee normally ..........drain at night ...and use the valve when I go into rention. Cant say it has been easy...still wetting ..well sometimes......went into hospital wearing a tena nappy even down onto the table ...woke up shaved and with nappy, but plus two caths. The staff nurse was going to put in a pad and net nix...yuk!!!!...so told her I had brought my own tenas...so no problem wore those....why you ask when I had two caths.....well when they took the penile one out I started wetting and all sorts....its calming down a bit now. One other thing...the bitch who took my cath out.....really hurt....other times they have been so very caring and gentle.....this had the wax op out off my ears!!!....they had fitted a size 16 when I can usual only take a 12...but that was done under a general........hope this helps xxx

Well thanks guys and gals!!!!!.......not what I expected.... wow...but thanks for the honesty. We all have our unique problems either by birth, medical or accident...briefly mine is drugs.......no no before you get the wrong idea...... My earlier posts will tell you I am a manic depressant.....so I have been on meds to resolve that issue .....stop me trying to top myself as it were...problem is the side effects have led to retention and other nerve damage..... The love/ dressing in nappies was a comfort ...a private space to feel small and away from the bad world when I was depressed......not a need....but its completly differant now the possibility is that it is for real......as I said ealier I have had SIC and indwelling....but the SIC was using a infant cath...10....and so was the indwelling size 10......but my body rejected the indwelling after 6 months....constant spasms and bleeding. The hospital has basically had me on a watch and see policy......now their latest idea to protect my kidneys is to have a pressure relieve valve.....no bag......just if I go into retention and I cant get the cath in I can at least open the valve in the super pubic.......HELP!!! was hoping this was going to be my salvation....seems more thought is required

Hi......havent been about lately, had some problems......but hay ho havent we all !!!! so here is my question having had SIC and indwelling I am now being lined up (excuse pun) for a superpubic.....unlike lots in here ......my problem is not wetting......... I cant pee, I suffer from retention. So what does the panel think about superpubic caths and will it lead to wetting problems since my bladder will relax I suppose. Answers on a post card please to the usual address, and if they good enough some of them will be posted for others to read....lol

again sarahjane I cant argue with you.....a good nurse or a good doctor are worth their weight in gold......but it only takes one to ruin it......howeverI have always written letters of thanks and graditude when apropriate...and by the same time I have written letters of complaint. The internet is a powerful weapon and sometimes ...well most of the time I/you know more a the specific problem than they do. I have had 6 consultants look at my case and in the end I found out myself ...all because each was looking at just there area only....gave me great pleasure in saying "blow it out ya ass fat boy".......it may also help that on a professional I am level or indeed higher in the rat race...also of and age when I can challenge their rudness or comments. At the end of the day you are paying their salary for the nurse or doctor and for the most part they can literally bury their mistakes.....we cant. As an off beat remark....in the Uk we have a national chain of butchers called dewhursts.....I often asked if they trained there of knew the "old boy" personaly. After tree rectual exams by 3 differant people in as many minuites I asked is this a form of masonic hand shake that I wasnt aware off and what lodge idid they belong too....that shut them up. As for nurses just ask that its the arsey one who gets to change your sheets or pan......brings them down with a bump too!! I know this has been off topic sarahjane.......seems we share alot in common with these numbties wherever they are xxx

sarahjane....what a sensible reply .....at last!!!!!.....I agree totally with everything you said. Indwelling caths are used all the time here in the uk...well in my experiance....and only fitted by a doctor....after a local gel...which is probably the worse part of it.......Yes you are right about infections also. And your final statememt is the most sensible......take your own.......there is nothing the staff havent seen before and providing you behave apropriately then respect should be a two way street. Nurses I have found are generally a kind and understanding bunch of people......and will go out of their way to help and accomodate most wishes where they can.

I must be loosing the plot here!!!!!.......who the hell wants to measure output by weighing a dirty diaper!!!!!....really must be a US thing. Most patients in the Uk are fitted with an indwelling cath.....then samples or output can be measured and tested ....thats on the wards where walking or mobility is an issue......but since my bladder is totally shagged ...but thats another story......the incon dept or ward I wear tena slips in hostiptal plus the cath ...and they prescribe them and issue them to me at my home...the reason I leak around the cath amongst other things like spasm I would think also there are some people how dont want to wear diapers.......I suppose one answer is ask and if you dont get what you want ...ask if it would be ok to bring in want to are used to

this must be a brit vs american thing........here in the old country we have catheters....and I can asure everybody they are not pleasant. That deals with that end as for the other ...well you just do it !!so to speak and the nurses clear it up. You only get diapers or nappies tena slip plus as an out patient. Reason for the catheters is to collect and measure samples and check liquid in and out. Now having a permanant cathether fitted because I was having to self catheterise up to 5 times a day.......my willy got sore!!!! now I get infections. I was a simple AB lover once, now its for real......so be care for what you wish for all you ABs and sympathy to all catheters sufferers.

hello dolly...its been a long time since I been here or even posted...but that is a differant story and for a differant time. So you want an idea,......well this is my dream dress.....its a pagent princess...and its to die for......sooooo girly and sooooo fem.....yet soooooo cute and babyish I will get it one day....and i hope all my girly friends enjoy looking at it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY........Lets all raise our and wish our birthdaygirl a wonderful day. Wow 39.......and still a strong and a real ........she never gets in a and always has time for every one. So lets all have a and give her lots of ....she is our Oh and here is a special from a nappy_pins

Ye Gods....no one has mentioned.....THEAKSTONS OLD PERCULAR......or even ADNAMS bitter or old.......geeesh but I can remember the days of taking a watneys party 4 or party 7 can and getting pissed on a whiff of the bar maids apron. Aye...you could take a lass out to the flicks and have fish and chip supper, apint and chinzano with lemonade (for her) and still have enough change for the bus fair home and still get an attampted at the laughter line....remember if you got passed her stocking tops you were laughing!!!!...........E they were the days......

sorry necare........I stole the usage from a great man.....and I suppose you woud need to an age and a brit to indentify with that one......Winston Churchill suffered terribly with depression......and he always refered to it as his black dog. This decease affects alot of people...and it has no respect of rank of file...nor rich of poor....history is littered withgreat people whos lives have been blighted by this lothsome compliant. But I see where you are comming from......and hang on in there with the rest of us

I love words.......although I have a terrible time writing them.....yet others can say it all....I know poetry is an aquired taste....but all music lyrics are poems really. From time to time I read a passage or verse or storey which captures exactly how I am feeling.....and this poem by Holland says it all for me......when I am depressed I read it lots ........somehow it is comforting......see what you think...... Death is nothing at all Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow, laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow in it. Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity, why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you somewhere very near just around the corner. All is well If anything.....for those who dont suffer from the black dog......for me that poem gives you an insight of how I long to be elsewhere ....where it is peaceful and quiet. pins

me again...sorry having a real bad time of it at the moment.....the black dog follows me everywhere....and for no reason. I am not looking for self pity....as all fellow suffers will know....I just find it really helpful to chat...and hiding behind my ID. I do have another specific question though....and I would welcome your thoughts and comments.....its all about MASLOW`S PYRAMID .....whilst I understand the basics.....I cant find anywhere about what if bits are missing....i.e....you dont fully have all the requirements for one level but say more on another....The obvious coment is....well it will crumble......ok if that is the case does that explain why I feel like shit all the time .....dont mean to be so deep on what I consider a fun and great group of people.....but I really could do with some input.......and dont say...go see the quack....I respect you guys too much...yhat is why I am asking you. I am really at a low point...wearing nappies at night cos I have to....with this self cath...but havent dressed up as AB since september 2005....what whith a mucked up prostate and gout and back pain all due to the depression pills.......the going to sleep forever option has positive attractions...no more pain or having to pretend to be happy and funny all the time....just peace...for me its a thought that is getting harder to resist. thanks for listening again...all my AB/DL friends

Excuse the pun......but I was in two minds!!!! ......about starting this as a thread....because I knew this was such a taumatic and terrible crippling desease. You guys have been so open about the terrible things that have haunted your lives.........so in a way I am glad I started this thread.......I hope it is helping those who have written and those who have read the posts.....I know it is helping me and I also know alot about and have a great respect those people who have contributed so far.........

I suppose my reply to those already posted is going to be predictable.........after reading them I feel what right have I to feel depressed.......The AB thing is a place for me to hide when I am depressed and certainly does not make me depressed. But hey guys and girls....I thought the pressure was just on me to act the fool.....and there are so many other fools out there........but with tragic tales and problems also having to act. From the bottom of my heart I thank those people who have shared their thoughts and lives with me....I know it has taken a great deal of courage to do that. Yes I am still under the quack and seeing the shrink plus the therapist and taking handful of pills....but you guys are the best....and truely helping me to try and understand the dark force.....again foregive me then if I do not want to play the fool all the time and just want to sit and watch. I am so glad I met you lot.....you are keeping me alive.....I look foreward to reading more posts from my friends xxxxxx

Hi one and all.........just thought I would ask how many suffer and feel the force of the dark side.......people who have come to know me expect the up beat joke making person 24/7....but in reality this is hard to do....then there is the enquiry as to why to aren`t a happy nappy chappy!!!! well at times you cant be....and there is a hugh difference between having a bad day and being depressed and at the bottom of the the pit is dispare and black thoughts. My question is for all nappy wearers......those who have been born with problems and those who now find themselves with problems....and those involved in terrible accidents.........whilst I suffer the dark side I cannot image what you must go through...I am not trying to sound complacent or patronising.....just curious about how others cope and feel with depression. And yes by me asking the question......I am slipping into a dark hole again....sorry I cant be fun all the time. But I love you all...look foreward to reading your replys.

hi kimmy......dont know if you have been yet...but I will add my bit for what it may be worth. Firstly the background...I have suffered depression since I was 12...didnt know that at the time..thought every body was the same...any how when things got bad....my way of coping was to hide in myself...wanting to be small ...a child...they dont have problems they are cuddled and loved and wear nappies...well thats how it started. After a bad depression my doctor sent me to the shrink....wow what a day...took 2 hours before i could confess i was lucky it was a lady thank god then I when into therapy and i still am 9 years later and she too is female...girls are easier to talk to ....also they wrote to my doctor he is male ...it was so embarrassing...the only thing that has kepted me going is my wife...without her I would have committed suicide years ago......as long as your partner is withyou ......you will cope....the irony for me is that my fantasy has turned over the years...because of the antidepressants...i now suffer from BPH which means i wear nappies at night ....not what I had planned. But dont worry.....doctors have seen it before...my wanting to act or be small is common place it seems...and nurses and doctors have seen nappies and willies and everything every day...hope this helps good luck

banned...never....I`ll be back...nooooooo you cant keep me away .....you`ll be sorry...lets face it who esle are you you going to with.....huh.......remember the force is weak in you old one.....so come over to the dark side I shall be on my suffing looking for weak ones that I can them remember I am the all powerful one ......I am the SID you dont mess with a ....cos I suck....well when I say I suck I mean suck as in suck...not as in I suck........mad I tell you...you are all mad. so babies my tush.....asta spumantie...thats cheap champange

errrr space bar would have been good.......I had to quint...and that is making me blind....better add that to his research

I am very interested in this topic....and having carried out a considerable amount of research submit my findings that you all might find clears up this mass debate 1. MIT and Yale have spent 3 years and 3 million dollars and concluded that the male foreskin is for the sexual pleasure of the woman. 2.The university of moscow combined thier efforts with the iniversity of beijing spend 5 years and 7 million dollars and concluded that the male foreskin was for the sexual pleasure of the male. 3. university of Irland spend 3 weeks and a dollar 50c and concluded it was to stop your hand slipping off!!!! I trust this will help all those people out there who have like Dr Phil worried about such things....oh and by the way...I dont need pictures either......I find that my wife is sufficient...in all departments. I would suggest you get out a bit more Dr Phil.....I am told that pulling too much will make you go blind....maybe you can tell us how your research is cumming along on that one

From my own experiance there are 3 types of diaper/nappy wearers....those who have to for medical reasons......those who have a fetish and its a sexual thing....and those who are AB. Sometimes the boundaries get blurred or change......mine have ...and I am so thankful for all the help and support I have been given by all 3 groups...especially those who have too....since the other 2 have a choice whether to wear or not. I get very depressed at times...well true is I suffer from it like alot of people in here....and the AB side or frillies or the pretty panties make it easier to cope...just like a fashion thing in a way. Yes the people who have to wear...me included now will always be treated slighty or worse badly treated...because we are disabled to a lesser or greater extent and dispite what people or the law says.... disabled is different....people dont like different. But dont let this get or put you down..... I have met some wonderful people in here......I dont know if they are black white short or tall...I dont know if they are christain muslim or hindi......I dont know if the transexual homosexual or lesbian.........I do know they wear diapers or nappies for a reason.........be nice to people and they will be nice to you....well most of the time. P.S. being a sissy aint a bowl of roses either...some people dont that.......but in the end its the person inside that matters and are they nice to chat to and will they be there for you.

Oh I am doing sooooooo well .....I can get all the babies fighting each other ......and guess what I am all the way. so I dont need to come into the room any more....I can just looking to see that you are all fighting each other.......yayjust the way I planned it I hope ppl dont see through my master plan......cos if they do they might not talk about me any more and I will have to think up something else mmmmm...tried dead...tried living ....tried upsetting ppl.....tried going away....forever ( but that didnt last)........geeesh what next loosing weight nah done that....err....I got it, I got it what if me and curious changed sides.......then every body would me and everybody would her.....thats it!!!! but how am I am going to get ppl to hate curious .........bummer!!! ......arh well back to plan A ......you lot are all poohey stinkers and I dont care I AM GREAT.....I AM GREAT No really doctor they really dooooooooo love me they doooo ...they all hate each other but they all love me.........where are you taking me......noooooo I dont want to go back there

Belinda darling.......me got a packet of cheese and onion flavour....... so you can climb into my packet any time!!!! Thats cos I cheesy.....hehehhehehe

Thats it....I have had enough.....I am never ever ever going to come back........I am soooooooooooo ill I am dead and my wooden leg just fell off cos.......me ppl are always ganging up on me cos I call them names and I bad mouth them....whats their problem.....I said I am going...so dont try and talk me out of it.....no dont I have gone forever. Hi there.........I am back did ya miss me dont start cos I might spit me dummy out again and leave......cos I am only just back from the dead having had a bad dose of COFF COFF....... and what the hell is a hippocrit....is that one of those senior moments or a harry potter job....not sure.........but dont start cos I will leave again!!!! Hi there.......back again ......phew this is hard work......now who can I have a pop at now......hey about the land the of the free......nope I live in the Uk....mmmmmm thats ok I am still leaving for free......so lets slagg the poms!!!!.......by the way have I told you I am never ever ever ever ever comming back COFF COFF........I did oh shucks...well Im not so there.......ever. guess who ........yep its meeeeeeeeeeeeee....just thought I would come back....I know I said that I wouldnt ever come back......but hey.......I aint got a real life and nobody likes me ....and well I havent got any where else to go..........and as for curious and all pins (thats me....heheheh) other friends .......why...cos they are real and they dont lie and when I need help they are there, and like wise I am there for them and thats why more chat is done in yahoo conference......by invitation only...funny how one or two ppl havent had an invite to the ball