So, My Husband Is An Abdl...

[married.to.diapers.]

So, my husband is an ABDL, which I knew this for a couple years before we were married, and just celebrated our first anniversary together. I have questions about this whole fetish and how it works. That is to say, how do others with partners/spouses with this fetish go through daily life with this, and how does it affect the future. I didn't really think abouth it all that much before we were married, because I mainly went along with it because I loved him, which I do deeply. Now, I'm trying to think of this fetish and how it relates to our future, such as having kids one day. My husband is luke warm on the issue, and I mainly think he wants to avoid them because he doesn't want to share me as a "mama" or "mommy". This fetish as also made me start thinking that I might not could care for an infant like a mother should. So, my question is, have any of you had this issue? How did you resolve it together? Or, has this fetish unearthered other problems for you?

[Dill_Pickle]

Let me give you the standard answer from DSM IV: the behaviors and needs involved are only a problem when they get in the way of the rest of your life, or harm someone.

Properly caring for a child is a tremendous commitment, and yes, it will take you away from assisting your husband (any husband, really) with his private needs. I think it will be little different than the jealousy of a first child when a second is born in terms of causation.

All I can tell you about what to do about that reality is to talk to other moms, and to communicate with your husband openly, without accusing or discounting or contradicting or invalidating his feelings. Were I to ask others about my situation, I would just call his fetish his love life, and omit the frankly irrelevant detail that you are talking about an ABDL fetish.

You might also have something new to offer your husband....if he likes to nurse...since you will almost certainly be able to do that once the child is born.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

[fixitboy]

you baby baby is nouthing like you husbond being the baby you will do fin when that hapens hes just not looking foward to hiding it from the kids for 20 years or so but trust me its a must kids have enouf problems and daddey needing his diaper changed isent one of them

[rosalie.bent]

you could do worse than read my book with deals with ABs in realtionships. I wouldnt be too concerned with the kids issue. I doubt that ABDL is anything more than a peripheral impact on that decision.

[mahleedl]

My wife and I have a 4 yo daughter, and my "status" has absolutely no impact on her. Now, I will say, I place her needs FAR above my own, and prioritize my life as such. If your husband is similar, then I suspect you'll have no issues. If not... You'll need to work together to find a path forward...

[married.to.diapers.]

you could do worse than read my book with deals with ABs in realtionships. I wouldnt be too concerned with the kids issue. I doubt that ABDL is anything more than a peripheral impact on that decision.

I have begun to read it, although I'm still wondering if it will help with my needs and his. I also wonder how it will play out in the future, if he is wanting to expand the ABDL in our home.

[married.to.diapers.]

My wife and I have a 4 yo daughter, and my "status" has absolutely no impact on her. Now, I will say, I place her needs FAR above my own, and prioritize my life as such. If your husband is similar, then I suspect you'll have no issues. If not... You'll need to work together to find a path forward...

. Did your wife know before you were married? Also, how did you work it out during and after the pregnancy?

[Bettypooh]

To: married to diapers

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Bettypooh

[married.to.diapers.]

Mahleedl: Did you feel any jealousy with the ABDL?

I've started reading the book There's a Baby In My Bed, which it has eased a few doubts and worries.

[mahleedl]

married.to.diapers,

Sorry for the delayed response. Somehow I missed the updates in this thread. If I do that again, please feel free to PM me.

My wife did know before we were married. As soon as I started to think that she and I might have long-term possibilities, I started talking to her about it.

I have to admit, my wife and I aren't in exactly the same boat as you, so you'll have to take my experiences with a grain of salt. I'm a DL, a Diaper Lover. I don't have much, if any, AB (Adult Baby) interests, though I understand, sympathize, and support those who do. That's relevant to your questions because I've never asked my wife to be my Mommy, and so we don't have that issue to deal with.

I suspect/hope that your husband wants/needs the AB time for emotional support, but that he still desires to experience the rest of adult life. If so, I believe it is very possible to separate the two. You and your husband will simply need to do a lot of talking to set the ground rules so that you are comfortable, and he gets the baby time he needs.

Most of us in this "lifestyle" have built psychological walls around our fetish from the time we were pretty young. We're pretty damned good at compartmentalizing. Nobody knows about my fetish unless I've made a willful decision to tell them, and that's a total of two people: my wife, and my ex-wife. My "walls" are strong enough that even drunk with close friends, I've never felt a compulsion to talk about it.

As to your question on jealousy: No, I've never felt that, but again, we're not dealing with the issue of having to share Mommy time. I could see that being at least a concern, if not an issue, but I do think its avoidable if you and your husband can talk openly to each other and work it out.

I'm sure you'll have more questions. Feel free to ask further in this thread or send me a PM.

[married.to.diapers.]

It's harder for me to read Rosalie's book than any others that I have. I'm having to slowly take all the info in and think about how it relates to us in our daily lives and his ABDL. I usually to end up getting a headache after reading a few pages ( no offense Rosalie).

[dl_ashlee]

Any updates on finding out more about his desires as an ABDL and how it will affect your future?