One Of Our Sales Persons Likes To Dress In Drag.

[annee]

Today everyone at work was sent an email of photos of one our sales person dressed in drag. I was pissed off. This caused all kinds of drama and now he missing. I called his wife and told her to have him call me on my personal cell. I did not tell her what happened just that I need for him to call. Then told her I had to go so I did not go into that with her. This was done just to be mean. My boyfriend did his what ever he did and found out who sent it. Well the guy who did this is a crappy sales person and I cant stand him anyhow. So I fired his ass right in front of the whole staff. Cross dressing is not my thing but I could care less. I mean hey my guy and me have our thing. But to use it to hurt someone is wrong. Plus the guy who he hurt with his sneaky mean back handed crap is our best sales person. Now how am I going to get him back to work. Plus keep the other employees from picking on him. He is a wonderful guy now I have to get him back. Why did he have photos that some jackass could use to hurt him. I hate that people are so dam mean. Well sorry for all my ranting this has been a hard day.

[diaperpt]

Good for you, for standing up and canning that guy's butt! If the cross-dresser had been doing something illegal, immoral or unethical business wise, that would be one thing.

For anyone to dig up something from a person's personal life and use it like this is in itself Immoral and unethical. What a mess it would inevitably cause in just about any workplace. This jerk may have been being purposefully mean or is enough of an idiot to think it was funny. Sadly, less than this has caused people to start thinking suicide.

If anything will help this guy, your positive and supportive approach to the situation will - if he is aware of it. I hope his wife already had some idea of his cross-dressing so he doesn't have to face issues at home and the office. And finally, I hope he has someone - and hopefully a couple someone's - he can talk with about this.

You needed to rant and I think you also need to be given credit for the positive approach to this awful situation.

[gah!ghost]

That fucking sucks. Real dick move. It's certainly never a good idea to have photos of yourself you don't want other people too see particularly in this day and age but that doesn't make what the guy did any less despicable.

[Repaid1]

Is there a way possibly his personal cell phone to leave a message just to him defining your stance on him and this indecent? I would think he might be hiding from you two as well as he is lost in his feelings now, and unsure of why you want to talk to him. I would think perhaps he might feel you just want to can him over the thing without thinking it might be just the opposite.

And good for you two for handling this so far. Next step. Workers meeting explaining how wrong what this person did regardless of why he did it. I think a quick shot across the bow of the rest of the employees, that this is over with and done. Not to speak of it again, or face a serious repercussion. They have seen your hand on the firing of the dick wad (excuse my french) So they should know you mean business!! Your on the damage control end of things now so you guys need to stop this stuff now, put sand on the fire and move on. I hope this employee returns to you, and you guys can have a little talk and get things resolved. Being so close to Halloween it might even be possible to blow the thing off in that direction. Best of luck and hang in there with the whole thing.

On a side note, this is the second time you spelled Damn, with no "N"!!! Please stop that!

[FretaBWet]

Annee, you're not just a gem of a human being your smart too. Just from a business standpoint it's no suprise the as*hole you fired was your worst salesman, the object of sales is to cultivate strong relationships with potential customers and this shows he was too stupid to recognize this. He tried to destroy a fellow employee so you have to wonder how he was treating your customers. Diaperpt is right about suicide, the rate for those in the greater gender community is higher than in the general population. I considered it myself when I was outed with malice by my ex to turn the children and family against me. He's lucky to be working for you and I hope this all works out for him.

Hugs,

Freta

[Bettypooh]

Annee, all I can say is that you're awesome I wasn't exactly outed, but unfair and uncalled for treatment over my gender situation once cost me my job even though nothing about it had ever shown up in my work. I got fired just before Christmas which made it even worse. And this came from someone who was supposed to be an "old friend" who had promised me that nothing of this sort would happen. I've forever left that group of people and have never seen any of them since, but I wonder what was said of me once I was gone- I expect they all know what was once held in confidence. That says a lot about those kinds of people and it ain't good It will be tough for your salesman to come back into the work environment but your actions and support will do as much as can be done for that.

I would suggest doing one more thing for him- have your attorney send the one you fired a letter explaining that he's just waiting for any chance to file suits for slander, libel, defamation, breach of peace, and every other kind of legal action against them he can come up with should there be any further dissemination of this information believed to have come from to him, provable or not. Make that bastard shudder in fear of what can happen to his career and his life instead so that it truly does end right here.

After having lived through my own experience above, you can now see why I have not divulged anything about me here which could easily identify me. I do have pics of me and much more online but it would take a lot of effort for someone to link those, this, and my RL together, and if they did they needn't worry about what a lawyer might do to them, they would need to worry about me who has determined that I will not suffer like that ever again That is why I always advise everyone to do everything you can to remain anonymous online- even in RL which shouldn't be connected with here or anything else odd that you may do. As unlikely as something bad happening may be, as long as it remains possible you're asking for more trouble than you realize, and those questions will find some asshat waiting to answer them in a manner which you will regret

The end effect for me is that I no longer trust easily, I see the worst in everyone quickly, I find most people to be shallow, stupid, and weak- and I no longer believe in not hitting with everything I've got when action is called for. Even though I am past that part of my life, what that one person did ruined almost everything good in me permanently and I have to fight hard daily to keep it from destroying whatever good there is which I still have left in me.

Bettypooh

[Repaid1]

"The end effect for me is that I no longer trust easily, I see the worst in everyone quickly, I find most people to be shallow, stupid, and weak- and I no longer believe in not hitting with everything I've got when action is called for."

I knew that was how you felt about me, damn you man, damn you all to hell!

Carry on with thread just trying to make BP smile!

[sarah_ab]

job well done on handling the situation correctly but so not assume the photos will be embarassig tothe employee .... not everyone who dresses in drag will share with their work but this in no way means they are ashamed or embarassed .... unless you know for sure this is why you cant reach him .... if it were his day off than that would

explain him not being home ..... this is not to say any of what happened was ok just dont assume he should be embarassed or ashamed..... and when you do get a hd of him don assume this when explaining what happened..... this could make him think you are embarassed or ashamed to have him as an employee.... however if you are concerned and it has been a while you could call the police with your concern and share with them that another employee sent out a harassing email coupled with the fact you cannot reach him and he hasnt shown for work

[Honu]

I'm supervisor and totally support you Annee. Work is work and home is home. Your cross-dressing employee obviously knew the boundaries as was proven by his sales records. You employ him for his sales and what concern is it of yours how he handles his time off the clock? Particularly since you are in private industry, it's all about sales figures and you can express all that when you are able to contact him again. Also, I hope you can be generous and allow him compensated time off until you can get him back in the office. To anyone who got the email and thinks it's funny to tease him, suggest that they dress in drag as it obviously helps your top sales guy.

No, you can't let this go and you can't afford to lose your best salesman. You don't need to "show yours" to explain your understanding, it's enough that you respect his work. I hope you are able to clean up this mess.

[annee]

Well it was a crappy day everyone at work is walking on eggs around me. I hate this kind of thing. One thing my guy is smarter than me about is just how low some people will go to hurt others. He tracked the guy down last night and talked to him. The guy is the only sales person who has been with us from the start. Car sales have a high turnover rate. At this point we are giving him some paid time off. If he is to ashamed about working here I understand. But the guy could turn a tire kicker into a buyer and have them leave happy. Best closer I ever met. That said I just hope he will be OK he will always be are friend. I am also going to offer him counseling or what ever to help him. Dam this crap is going to cost us. Thank god we are doing OK we have rolled the dice. But this is not what I ever imagined of things to go wrong.

[annee]

Oh one more thing My boyfriend wants to take a few days off being diapered. This stuff has upset others I am sure. Look it is not my thing cross dressing but I sure can understand. Maybe that is why half the staff is acting like zombies. A lot of privet things they are thinking about.

[sarah_ab]

This is a good time however for your growing company to set some firm company policies not only consistent with federal and state law but also with your companies mission and values regarding acceptable and unacceptable behavior in the workplace. As your company grows having all of this in writing and copies made available to all employees will protect both your, your company and your employees in the future from any legal problems. This is also a good time to create some policies on what is an instant fireable offense and your process for other terminations such as how many written notices etc.. are needed. Again keeping in line with state and federal labor laws.

I am glad to hear your husband was able to reach the employee and he is ok.

[Billiardnut]

Some people can be complete assholes - many of which just need to live on a private island and be forgotten.

In today's society dressing in drag should be the least of people's worries. I have worn bras, panties, leotards, pantyhose, etc,etc plenty of times in public and in private and I dont regret a single minute. In today's society I dont understand why being a transvestite, cross-dressing, dressing in drag, or whatever the term used, is such a big deal. Women wears men's clothes and nothing is said, a guy wears women's clothes and they are one of many derogatory terms. Yet, if a man dresses up as a woman on Halloween or as a joke, everybody laughs and doesnt give him a second thought. If a man dresses as a woman or simply wear's women's clothes because he wants to he is a <fill in blank with derogatory term>.

Point and case - this year at work a man dressed as a woman. He wore flats, panty hose, had 'boobs', a wig, lipstick, make-up, and a dress.... do you honestly think he purchased or obtained all the girly stuff for the sole purpose of dressing up for Halloween? I say No, he used the occasion to satisfy a fantasy, need, desire. But my point is this .... everybody had a laugh or two, women helped the man fix his 'boobs', praised him for his pantyhose choice and the day went on without a hitch. Fun was had by all. Yet, if the same man did the same thing in the middle of April he would be ostracized and possibly even loose his job.

Let me take this a step further .... I have read here and other forums people asking what to do / say if they are caught wearing diapers, or packing diapers in luggage. Many responses say "tell them you have a medical issue" I have done this and people doesn't care. I have told my doctor and his nurse that I am incontinent - they didn't care. I tell my friends that I have to wear a diaper cause of I am incontinent - they are supportive to me. Now what if I decide I am going to wear women's clothe because I suffer from self identification issues. Do you think the response would be the same from the same set of people? No - I would immediately an outcast, weirdo, fag, queer, gay, or whatever else they decide to categorize me as.

We live in a world where gay marriage is legal or at least accepted but, wearing the opposite sex's clothes ..correction a man wearing women's clothes isnt accepted. You can claim your "life partner" on your insurance so they can have benefits but heaven forbid if a man wears panties or women's jeans on a daily basis. A man may be a straight as an arrow, but if he has a high pitch voice or acts feminine he is gay, fag, queer, etc, etc, etc. I dont understand it, probably never will.

Annee you did the right thing, I encourage everybody to stand up for what is right.

[Rihanna]

Annee, it's been one month to the day since you last posted on this topic. I hope things have settled down and your salesman is or will soon be back with you. Lots of good advice above on setting parameters and other things.

Could you give us an update of events somewhere between 'general' and 'overly specific'?

[Repaid1]

Annee, it's been one month to the day since you last posted on this topic. I hope things have settled down and your salesman is or will soon be back with you. Lots of good advice above on setting parameters and other things.

Could you give us an update of events somewhere between 'general' and 'overly specific'?

Yeah somewhere between the Chicklettes and Erasers? (Bonus if you can tell me where that line is from)