Tired Of Hiding.

[ThomasInWVa]

Sometimes I just want to wear a nametag that says. "I wear diapers and I'm tired of worrying if you will find out." or just going onto my facebook page and posting to my family, friends, army buddies, high school friends, and so on that I have to wear diapers.

I feel that most of my worry and fear is caused by the need to keep my incontinence private. Now I’m not trying to get attention or flaunt it that I wear diaper. Hardly. I hate having to wear diapers. I detest it.

I don’t let my incontinence define or limit me. It just is. But sometimes I get so tired of the worry. Tired of checking for leaks, tired of spending money on disposables because they are easier to hide beneath my clothing and easier to change quickly at work. Tired of wondering if anyone can notice even though I know that they really can’t. Tired of wondering if I smell. Tired of skin problems and laundry. Tired of everything.

Sometimes I’m envious of a person in a wheelchair because I think that no one would look down on them if they had to use a diaper. But me, I have no outward sign that I have any injury at all. Of course I feel stupid thinking this. As if losing the ability to walk somehow makes incontinence better. But someone may know what I mean.

Just feeling the stress more than usual these last few weeks.

Thanks for listening.

[dlsmd]

i understand ware your coming from because i feel the same way at times

its a pain to have to hide it from every one and still not get noticed

[Bettypooh]

It's all about how you look at this. I am but one of a million adults who need to wear diapers. It is something I normally deal with well and do not wish to have known to the whole wide world, but if that happens then so what? I do not care to associate with people who have problems understanding that there are people in this world with physical limitations., and I will not let people with minds that small have any part of my life. If my incontinence defines me to someone then it is them who has the bigger problem, for stupidity, unlike incontinence, has no solution

It is as much for the comfort of others as my own that I remain hidden, for this is not their issue to deal with and if they do not know they do not have to deal with it. I am not given the option they have- I have to deal with it so I do. Someday I may need a walker, a wheelchair, or a white cane in order to be a functional part of society and be happy. In comparison my wearing diapers isn't a big a problem at all. This is not any bigger a problem than you let it be in your life, and personally I have more than enough problems already without me creating any more It's all in the perspective you take and in how well you handle the problems you have in life that creates your true worth in this world. You are worth more than the condition of your body's excretionary systems so give yourself the value you are due, then others who discover this will likely do the same. If they don't, then dump them and go on- there are plenty of people more worthy of your time than this. Go find them and enjoy life as best you can

Bettypooh

[jbz2079]

Bettypooh, This is a great answer and what you have written I very much agree with.

But the original poster Thomas, is just feeling what we have all felt at sometime.

I have a saying I find to be just about right, Those that matter, won't mind.

[Craisler]

I have to agree with Bettypooh, also. Your attitude and how you deal with your incontinence problem is what makes all the difference.

Once you learn how to manage the problem and have confidence that the diapers you use provide adequate protection, then you can stop worrying about leaks. Find a solution that works for you. I've found that changing a disposable diaper every 4 to 6 hours pretty much guarantees that there will be no leaks if I wear a premium quality diaper (e.g. Abena, Molicare, or Tena).

Most people here have discovered that the majority of people don't go around looking at other individual's crotches. Even if your friends or associates notice something, they are more likely to think you're gaining weight than to immediately jump to the conclusion that you're wearing a diaper. Unless you make what you're wearing inescapably obvious, no one will even give what kind of underwear you're wearing a second thought (or a first thought for that matter).

If someone does find out, just explain that you have a medical condition that needs managing and this is the most reasonable or recommended solution. Again, attitude is everything. A matter of fact explanation will likely be all that is necessary for, as jbz2079 said, "Those that matter." For the assholes that want to make a big deal out of it, ignore them or laugh them off. If they get an embarrassed, shameful, or angry reaction out of you, that's probably what they are looking for and it will only encourage further taunting.

You were probably raised like the majority of us thinking that diapers are for babies and were punished or shamed when you wet or messed your underwear during and after toilet training. It takes a while to get over those childhood memories. Diapers are simply a means of managing incontinence. Incontinence can be the result of very young or old age, birth defect, disease, or traumatic injury. They are basically no different than eye glasses, hearing aids, crutches, or any other mechanical aid to manage a medical condition.

[Billiardnut]

deleted

[rusty pins]

I don't know if you ever tried one, or how they work or any problems associated with them, but have you ever tried a condom catheter and collection bag that straps to your leg instead of diapers? I might think that some problems might be UTI fron the condom cath, perhaps leakage from the bag or maybe it comming loose where it straps to your leg. Maybe some comfort problems with the tubing from the condom to the leg bag? Anyway, just wondered since you hate diapers but have incontinence if a leg bag wouldn't be more discreet and less likely to perhaps be discovered my someone. Might also help how you feel about your dignety, a leg bag as opposed to wearing diapers. If someone finds out, perhaps you would feel better about them discovering you have incontinence and use a leg bag instead of someone finding out you wear diapers. Just a thought.

[Amyuser]

Hey Rusty Condom Caths have one drawback blowouts where the cath hose gets kinked or any number of variables happen and WHAM wet pants ,puddle on the floor,if you are sitting in one spot for long periods of time they are ok but if you move around and are very active bad choice. And unfortunately the OP is correct about wheelchairs if i go near the diaper isle in any store people materialize out of the woodwork trying to be helpful in getting the right product for me and wanting to carry it to checkout and to my car for me and the whole nine yards, it breaks their hearts to find out i'm not there for diapers i'm looking for chapstick or whatever it is that i'm actually there for and not Diapers. To them i'm a broken toy who must need diapers and they are going to help me whether i want them to need them to or not, sometimes you just want to say hey people relax i've got a mouth i can ask for help if i need it,but you really dont want to to alienate these people because they are the same people who will see you hit a curb cut the wrong way and get thrown out of your chair or have your chair flip over on you and they will slam on there brakes and block traffic and make other people het out of there cars to help get your chair back up( they weigh 440lbs) and then after making sure you are not horribly damaged pick you and put you back in your chair and once you are safely wheeling away they drive away and all the traffic on that road begins to flow again,so you dont want to make ill will with these people because then they will drive right by like everyone else ignoring the crippled mess helpless on the side of the road.