How To Tell Gf?

[Baby Drew]

Hi all,

Well I have a problem and i'm after some advice.

I have just started dating this girl (about a month now) and we've been friends for a good 6 years or so before that so I know her reasonably well.

I consider myself a part time AB and would love to tell her this so we can share it (or at least I can enjoy without having to hide it).

This girl is just out of a marriage (technically seperated, going through a divorce) and part of the issue with the ex was that he spent a fortune on bondage toys and forced her into things she didn't want to do for his kicks. Obviously I don't want to be that person.

She does have a kinky side as she has already tied me to the bed. Also from our first night together I told her that I occasionally wear nappies to bed as if stressed I have a tendancy to wet the bed, which is the truth. What I failed to elaborate on though is that I enjoy the wet nappies and would like to wear more often and act as an AB every so often.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can tackle this please? When I told her that I wet the bed if stressed, she stated she was fine with the nappies and the occsasional wet bed as "It's part of you".

All suggestions appreciated.

Thanks.

[darkravendl]

She is alrady accepting of the medical issue at hand. How I would start it, and that is if this has been an issue that has gone one for a long time ie. a couple of years, is that you can say that you have come to enjoy wearing diapers since it has been a while since it started and explain why you enjoy them. Then I would send her to this site as a primer and let her find atleast some of the details out for herself and let her bring the questions to you. However you need to be prepared that she may not accept this aspect of you. My best wishes to you and your new relationship.

P.S. keep in mind this is how I would handle the situation if I were in your shoes.

Dark Raven

[jbz2079]

I agree with what's alredy been said, You didn't get the Ewwww! really? Yuck, reaction and as she seems fairly open minded, you should just wait till you have a quiet night and just get chatting. I reckon you are more than half way there now.

[tcc]

There are all kinds of threads regarding this type of thing. You need to read up and not start another thread.

Also, if she's not divorced, kinky or NOT, she is not single and she is not "available". She needs to be legally officially divorced and alone for a year before she starts dating again and is truly, totally available. Of course, that's the RIGHT thing to do, but most people don't do the actual right thing any more as "anything goes"...

[Wetdl]

Best advice I can give is "slow and steady", although as it comes up all by itself the "I have over time felt more secure ect" would be honest and perhaps beneficial. If she has been pushed into things before, I would take care not to push her in any way.

It seems like only a matter of time before you develop a need to wear some night, perhaps to "not accidentally wet her bed", or some night she stops over after your already ready for bed? That could sure lead to a wonderful morning...

[Diapers4Me]

I'd let her set the pace. I'd follow many of the suggestions above, but leave it off at telling her what you like. Then let her know that you are in no rush to experiement and want to proceed at her pace. Ask her to let you know when she is interested in knowing more.

[sarah_ab]

i met my boyfriend when they had just separated not even filed for divorce and we have been together for five years.... separations of the mind and intimacy can begin looooonnnggg before legal separations do..... each situation is unique in regards to the "right" thing to do....

it is promising that the biggest hurdle the 'ilike to wear diapers' one is over .... lots of advice here is sound find a right moment and just tell her that you wanted to share something with her and get her feedback on what she would be comfortable with

given her previous partner seemed to completely disregard her opinions i think u already have one up on that

[FretaBWet]

There are all kinds of threads regarding this type of thing. You need to read up and not start another thread.

Also, if she's not divorced, kinky or NOT, she is not single and she is not "available". She needs to be legally officially divorced and alone for a year before she starts dating again and is truly, totally available. Of course, that's the RIGHT thing to do, but most people don't do the actual right thing any more as "anything goes"...

Can you tell me what official rule book you found the 1 year after divorce is the "right" thing to do?

Hugs,

Freta

[Baby Drew]

Hey all,

Thanks for all the advice. It's much appreciated.

Just to clarify a few points. She knows I wear when stressed but doesn't know I like to wear. I was 'stressed' last night and wore and wet and she wasn't grossed out at sharing the bed with me so I think that's the first hurdle over with.

I think now I just need to broach the subject of I actually enjoy them. From there I can hopefully slowly introduce the whole AB side.

[KittenAB]

Actually, I would say be 100% completely honest, considering the baggage she has already. Open it up for discussion, but let her know she can control boundaries as well. AB isn't the worst thing you could ask for by far, and as long as you explain to her what you really want and listen to her responses, things will be a lot smoother if you are honest. One thing that will destroy any relationship is lies, the other is hypocrisy but that's not the issue here.

As to the twit saying the garbage about marriage, it's a legal contract, if one side does not maintain their part of the contract or forces the other side to break it (as in expecting more than one is willing) then the contract is null and void. The whole religious aspect of the contract is never an issue unless those people share that same religious view, and religion should NEVER be involved in a legal contract anyway.

[Baby Drew]

Thanks, she does have baggage in terms of her ex.

I'm tempted that when I tell her I tell her what I like and how it came about. Then a case of gauging her reaction. If she shows major objection I drop the subject there and tell her I will still enjoy it when I'm alone and that it will never be talked about again. If she shows interest or doesn't get offended or has questions I deal with that as it happens.

For me, it started that I wet the bed as a teenager and realised how safe and secure I felt in a nappy. I then began exploring more and realised im an AB.

Thanks for all the help people. It's appreciated.

[Diapered Jason]

She needs to be legally officially divorced and alone for a year before she starts dating again and is truly, totally available.

lol, that's outrageous. I have never heard that one before.

Also, a word of advice, it is not a good idea to refer to her emotions as baggage.

[Leilin]

I'll put my lot in with the 100 percent honesty crowd. You've already told her the shocking stuff. It's just a little bit further to go, even moreso for someone already into bondagey stuff.

[KittenAB]

lol, that's outrageous. I have never heard that one before.

Also, a word of advice, it is not a good idea to refer to her emotions as baggage.

I'm not PC ... ever. But yeah, if it's not her "language" then don't say it that way to her, ever.

[Baby Drew]

Ah, good point. I was typing on my phone on a break at work and couldn't think of a better way to address it. I will avoid calling her emotions baggage. What I meant to say was that she only has her ex, no kids to worry about and no other concerns.

I agree that the major stuff has been tackled. I just need to elaborate. It's just how and when to tackle it and get the timing right.

Oh and I would love to see where it's written that you have to be single for a year before starting another relationship. Surely if two people are happy and it feels right, that's enough?

[Baby Drew]

Oh and I meant to add that one day I'd eventually like her to play as a mummy to me. Although I know that is unlikely it's a possibility of something to work towards?

I guess I need to get her to accept this side of my life first?

[Baby Drew]

Hi all,

Well last night I told her. I was stressed and so I wore a nappy to bed. Whilst we were laid there I then decided to come out with it.

I told her the truth that I find wearing the nappy and clothes relaxing and that it stems back to me wanting to be the innocent baby who has nothing to worry about.

There was silence for a min and then she said she was fine with it all. She had heard of AB's and can understand why someone would want to regress to that age. She is interested to see all the stuff I've got at some point and said she will accept that occasionally I feel the need to indulge.

I just hope that once she has seen all the clothes she doesn't freak then although it doesn't sound like she will.

Officially she is the most amazing person ever.

[Baby Drew]

Hi all,

[Baby Brian]

Glad to hear it all worked out for you. A lot of people try hiding it from their significant others but that seldom, if ever, turns out ok.

[Donney60]

Congratulations on your relationship and thank you for caring enough to answer the

"whatever happened to...." question. It is great that you remembered and cared to update from three years ago.

[willnotwill]

Take turns with your kinks versus hers.