What To Say?

gbw_dl · March 31, 2011

Hello all, i have been wanting to meet other ABDL's in my area, and DiaperSpace.com has shown me that there are more ABDL's in my area than originally thought. My only problem is, before i send a personal message to someone im worried that it will come off as creepy and that the person doesnt want to have anything to do with me. What is a good modest way to tell someone in this life style that if they are willing you would like to meet face to face and chat. Im not looking for a BF GF relationship, just want to meet someone, i feel so isolated. A little while ago i was dealing with Moderate/ Severe clinical depression, that stemmed from feeling alone in my lifestyle, i couldnt tell anyone face to face about it, and it was killing me inside, i have managed my depression, but i have decided instead of telling someone i know, just finding people that have a common interest.

Advice? Oh, and hey, are there any other better sights to meet abdl's? diaper space and diaper mates are the only ones i know about.

Letluvsrool · March 31, 2011

Hello kind sir/madame. I noticed that you live in an area somewhat nearby the area I reside in. I also noticed that we both enjoy wearing diapers; perhaps after a lengthy process of pretending to give a shit about the mundane details of your life I can convince you to meet me in a location where the prospects of me braining yourself with a blunt object and dragging your unconscious body back to my lair where I can have my way with your every orifice are slim to none. I promise you that in spite of my social shortcomings viz a viz actual face to face human interaction that I do indeed have lots of interesting and witty things to say about you and/or life in general. I most definitely will not murder you the first chance I have when we are alone together and I will ABSOLUTELY NOT skin your corpse and construct a fantasy playsuit for myself from the remnants of your lifeless body.

Regards,

Your name here

You can thank me when all the diapered booty starts rolling in Broh...

jediaper · March 31, 2011

i lol'd

square_duck · March 31, 2011

Basically, you just need to be yourself. Remember, people are people, just because you share an "odd" common interest in your underwear choice, doesn't mean anything has to be different. Do you belong to any other organizations or groups??? It's no different. I am a member of a couple of different organizations, (model builders club and car club) and, it,s no different. you are there for a particular reason, but that doesn't stop you from discussing anything else, IE the weather, your trip over to where ever you meet. You can work it around to your diaper interests, sure, but thats what sites like this are for, so it's kind of rehashing something thats already been discussed.

I have met many people in this...errrrmmm... "lifestyle" and it's all the same, just ask Bri or Tammi

Something I learned from Tammi (that I already subconsciously) knew and used was humor. people know me as "square duck" so upon meeting...I qwack! that makes them laugh and relax and we move on from there.

One thing that you "DON'T" ever want to do, is come off desperate or needy. Yes it's a nerve rattling experience the first time, meeting strangers always is. But if you are desperate to meet people..."THAT" makes you come across creepy.

You mention that you found there are several people in your local area, so one thing YOU can do is set up a meeting munch somewhere. Make an offering post for your area, or send IM's out. try to schedule it in advance....maybe a month, to give people time, and see what happens.

In the meantime, chat and email with them, get to know them as much as possibl;e.You might run into some resistance from some, as most people like to remain anonymous, but others might be open to hanging out.

Check out what Glenn is doing in Arizona....they meet once a month at a local Starbucks and hang out. he makes the announcement a couple weeks in advance or so as a reminder and they move on. He gets a few people in, they have fun and do what ever and carry on. Just don't try and make this an all or nothig deal, if 1 person out of 10 shows up, you have accomplished something. If no one shows, try it again. mention in yoru follow up post that it was a pretty day (or what ever) no one showed, but you will be there next time to "keep the door open".

If meeting people in this ;lifestyle' is important to you for your own sense of self, then you have to do something if no one else is. It's not easy, but nothing worth while ever is Keep on keeping on.

There is a local group in Orange county that I had met with a few times in the past, but I stopped because they meet for breakfast and I'm NOT an early morning person....especially on a Saturday! I'd like to go again, but I keep forgetting and / or other stuff comes up. etc...

I have phone numbers of a few people also that I call just for kicks, or they call me for something...it's all very casual.

So there you have it in a kind of nutshell.

Keep it casual...no pressure, since it's not the end of the world...it's ok if you don't get much response. at least you know there are people out there.

Set up a munch or meeting somewhere public, and wait. I fit it's a place you enjoy, then your wait i sworth while because you are still having fun, regardless of any company or not.

Don't be needy, that drives people away. It's just a personal interest or 'lifestyle' not the fall of Rome or...again, the end of the world"

Relax, have fun, and remember you get what you give. So if you are relaxed and have fun, they will be relaxed and enjoy themselves a little humor goes a long way.

Chat and get to know the locals better. If they trust you and know you a little, then you have a better chance of having a successful meeting. But again, if you have a bunch of no-shows,, it's not the end. People are shy and kind of flaky, so don't worry about it, keep on keeping on.

Hope this helps..

FretaBWet · March 31, 2011

Hi, I've done exactly that and the experience was nice. We met in a Starbucks which was a public location that was safe for both of us but allowed us to hang out and talk without looking out of place. I'm in Kansas City so if you're not at the western end of Kansas I'd be willing to meet. There's actually quite a few people spread throughout Kansas/Missouri.

Hugs,

Freta

diaperboyMKE · March 31, 2011

I recently saw a guy at Walmart in the diaper isle picking out a pack of Women's depends underware. It struck me as interesting because obviously I'm a DL so I watched closely. He also picked up and felt a couple other types of diaper, read the back of a couple packages and the entire time he was watching over his shoulder. He even tore open the corner of a pack and smelled them with his eyes closed! When I saw that move, I walked up behind him and said "ABDL?" hoping to get a response, all I got was a frightened look and he scurried away. Not the reaction I hoped for. He seemed like he didn't know what I was talking about, so perhaps he wasn't a DL at all, but was just getting them for someone else who was incon. I dunno, but I've always imagined bumping into another DL in public and "connecting" through some sort of phrase or word, like say "ABDL?" and have him say, "yeah! You?" and end up hitting it off and making friends, I've even imagined following this person into the Walmart bathroom and changing his diaper for him. My fantasy always ends up a little dirtier than that, but you get the point.

For as MANY AB/DL's are there are in real life, I'm shocked that I've NEVER had an accidental interaction with one, and I ALWAYS pay attention. Especially when I'm in the diaper isle. Oh well, maybe some day. The odds that this ABDL / DL will be gay/bi and interested in making new friends is even slimmer though. oh well.

diaperboy07 · March 31, 2011

I'm also in kansas just PM me.

square_duck · March 31, 2011

See??? this isn't so hard is it?? you now have 2 people with offers to hang out...

Go for it and keep it going :thumbsup:

sarah_ab · March 31, 2011

another thing making plans for a meet up can lead to endless talk instead just make the plan pick a date, a time, a location somewhat equal distance from everyone then say ill have a sign that days "ldba" on it if anyone asks they clearly arent there for the meet up and say it stands for local diabetics beatboxong association ... it doesnt have to be that on the sign but you get the idea .... post the info here in the meeting place forum, on fetlife and diape spCe an all those places you go and see who comes

curiositykilledthecat · March 31, 2011

Meeting others is easy, just avoid asking to be changed, touched or asking to do the same to anyone else and you will be fine.

gbw_dl · April 1, 2011

Yeah, i guess you could say im like a turtle, im willing to poke my head out of the shell and meet other turtles, but i get easily spooked. I dont really want to be changed myself, maybe some day, but i mean, if somebody asked me to change them, i think i would do it. It doesnt seem major to me. I mean, if i meet somebody, and the first thing they ask is, "Do you think you would be willing to change my diaper?" i would be a little upset that a diaper change is the only thing they are interested in. I feel like im a normal person with a need to wear diapers, and thats who i want to meet, other normal people who have a common interest. Some like to lift weights, some like to ride motorcycles, i like to wear diapers. Whats so weird about that ya know? BTW, I live in Wichita, and if i could, i would be willing to do a little bit of traveling to meet some people. Thanks for all of the help guys, Except letluvsrule, that was... Interesting??? LOL

square_duck · April 1, 2011

Well, if the first words out of someones mouth is "will you change me"... to me thats rather presumptive and rude :badmood: luckily I've never had this happen.

This is why you CHAT FIRST, then arrange a meeting and move on from there. I'm a D/L, and other than that a pretty normal person just like you I just happen to wear diapers as my underwear of choice.

Find common ground, hobbies, interests, talk about the weather (Kansas gets Tornado watches etc so chat about that) what ever. Whats your favorite diaper....all this other stuff can wait or be covered on boards. Go to Starbucks, have some coffee or a frapp, if your companion orders something you have not had, ask about it. I like getting a gree tea frapp, because the color (Green) with whipped cream on top gets peoples attention...but DAMN is it good!

Anyways...it's not a big deal, set up a time and date...if people show, fine, if not, thats ok to

Everyone has had that "OMG what the hell am I doing" moment, including me :blush: but it all works out...whats the worst that can happen??? no one shows....and you get some coffee...BFD..or 1-2 people show up and you have some new friends! :thumbsup:

Relax, 99% of us don't byte

There is always that 1 weirdo though...you have to look out for :screwy:

PArms · April 1, 2011

Relax, 99% of us don't byte

I'm the 1%. I Megabyte! :roflmao:

diaperbrownie · April 1, 2011

Keep sex out of it. Don't mention masterbation of any sorts. Be polite. Don't mention that exact contents of the diaper. Don't ask for a change, and don't ask to change them. DOn't tell them how diapers make you horny and jizzy. Just be nice and polite. Talk normal. Don't talk baby talk.

gbw_dl · April 1, 2011

i hear ya, see to me diapers dont really get me aroused. And Mr. Duck, thank you for the advice as well, i really want to get something like that going, im just still kind of timid from it, i mean, if i found out someone else organized a munch or something in my area, i would go without thinking about it. I guess if i want to meet other ABDLs out there i need to take the initiative myself. Thanks everybody for the help! :lol:

gbw_dl · April 1, 2011

also one more questions, on my DiaperSpace Account i got a message from a guy that said something like "Hey, im hardly on this site, but i noticed you are also in wichita, it seems that its hard to find AB/Dls here in this area, but if you want to feel free to text me or call me, my phone number is 555-5555(i added that for security purposes :thumbsup: )"

Do you think that it is to weird to just give out your number like that? the dude is around my age and seems like a nice person, but im afraid of just texting someone i dont know and them having my number as well. What do i do?

LILJIM · April 1, 2011

Do you think that it is to weird to just give out your number like that? the dude is around my age and seems like a nice person, but im afraid of just texting someone i dont know and them having my number as well. What do i do?

If he has an e-mail addy just e-mail him stating "No phone at the present time but we can e-mail or chat some." Get to know them first. If it is a landline number people can do a search on it & get a map to your house.(not sure about cell phones) Maybe meet for coffee a few times before giving your number out. He may just be glad to find someone close in age & area.Keep it public for awhile tho.

waynecook52 · April 1, 2011

also one more questions, on my DiaperSpace Account i got a message from a guy that said something like "Hey, im hardly on this site, but i noticed you are also in wichita, it seems that its hard to find AB/Dls here in this area, but if you want to feel free to text me or call me, my phone number is 555-5555(i added that for security purposes )"

Do you think that it is to weird to just give out your number like that? the dude is around my age and seems like a nice person, but im afraid of just texting someone i dont know and them having my number as well. What do i do?

See if you can talk to this person by messageing each outher first.Get to know them first.Onece you get to know the person then i would say go for it.

rusty pins · April 1, 2011

Most people that posted responses here seem to have a good handle on how to meet new people. If you've read any of my own posts here or on Diaperspace, you will see that my approach is to find people with the same interests other than diapers. Sure, we all have some interest in diapers which is why we come to these sites, but if that's all you have in common, then a friendship won't last long. Also, if you are DL and the other person is AB, then even your diaper interests may be at odds.

What I do when browsing the profiles is look for others who have common interests to my own, such as fishing, hunting, model airplanes, etc. Then I look to see if they are AB or DL and if they are looking for someone to baby them and change them or to roll play. If that is the case, me being DL, I might take a pass at sending that person a message.

Another thing I look at is their profile as far as getting clues to the person themselves. You can often tell just by a profile if the person seems like he wants to interact with others, even if it's only to trade messages back and forth. Some members are there only to lust over the diaper pictures and nothing else. If it's pretty obvious that the person who's profile you are looking at isn't interested in messaging or meeting anyone, pass them over. If you do message some people and don't get a response, that's normal. Don't get upset by it since many people are not on these sites to interact with others. Just let it roll off your back and move on to the next person with common interests.

When you do find someone with the same interests that you want to try and get to know better, start out slow with a short introductory message. Remember, they don't know you either and may be just as shy and nervous about interacting or meeting with someone else they don't know. Start with a simple, "Hi". Here is an example of what kind of content I usually send on a first message:

"Hi. I read your profile and it looks like we share some of the same interests. I also like to fish and own 2 boats, one for the big lake and another for fishing inland lakes. I try and get out a few times a year when I can if the weather cooperates. I've also been flying remote control planes for the past 30 years and I see that you are also into R/C planes. How long have you been flying, and what type of planes do you own? As far as fishing, what kind of fish do you go after and is it on a lake or river fishing? DO you have a boat? As you can see by my profile, like you I am a DL and not into AB stuff at all. I'm always looking to message people with the same interests and if you would like to trade a few messages, please feel free to do so and feel free to ask me anything. Take care and hope to hear back from you!"

You can see that I try and put the other person at ease a bit by first talking about common interests we have. This also helps serve as an ice breaker so that the other person dosn't immediatly think of me as a nut case crazy person. With common hobbies and interests, it does help others relate themselves to a harmless ordinary activity that you both like doing. I mentioned a little about diapers but that was all. I didn't ask to meet somewhere with that person, I left the door open for him or her to read my own profile and send back a response. I also left the door open by telling that person a little about me but saying they can feel free to ask me anything. That puts the ball in their corner if they want to respond.

As far as a meeting in person with another AB/DL, I would only consider it after trading many many messages back and forth to get as good a read on the other person as I can. My first meeting with another DL was after 2 years of off and on e-mails. Even then I was cautious about that first meeting. If you do decide to get together, have a plan in case things don't go as planned. Meet in a public place such as a fast food place or a park where others are around. Let someone know where you will be and when you should be expected back if possible. Don't expect a first meeting to be more than a get together for a sandwitch or short talk to get to know more about that person. You don't want to go off somewhere with someone on your first meeting! Have your car handy and never go off with someone else in their car. That puts you in their control and should something turn bad, you have no way of leaving in a hurry. True, all that may not be necessary, but I have read posts where the person meeting someone has been attacked, robbed and beaten within an inch of their lives. That has happened when they went to a motel room with someone they just met in person even though they had corrosponded many many times before the actual meeting. Things may start out innocently, but who knows how desperate the other person is! Rape and robbery are always a possibility when dealing with any sexual fetish and it's better safe than sorry until you really get to know someone. Have fun, meet some other AB/DL people but just do it cautiously and in a safe way.

curiositykilledthecat · April 1, 2011

Keep sex out of it. Don't mention masterbation of any sorts. Be polite. Don't mention that exact contents of the diaper. Don't ask for a change, and don't ask to change them. DOn't tell them how diapers make you horny and jizzy. Just be nice and polite. Talk normal. Don't talk baby talk.

Read most of his posts and don't act like that and you'll be fine.

sarah_ab · April 1, 2011

i dont think tis too weird to give out a cell phone number like that especially if its a prepaid a lot safer and harder to "track" down the owner of it.... also if he is younger like my age or down giving out a cell phone number to text is like givong out an aol im name to a lot of people ... no big deal for them just another way to chat where you arent tied to a computer

curiositykilledthecat · April 1, 2011

I use my google voice number when I meet abdls for the first time.

turtlepins · April 1, 2011

I have to say this was a fun thread to read! Thanks for posing an interesting question and thanks to all you very funny and creative people for the zany fun! Our crowd is very shy, so hang in there. Keep us posted on how this goes for you. Luv and hugs

dl_ashlee · April 2, 2011

For me just both being interested in diapers seems like a bad way to know if you will even enjoy each other company. Also as for many it is sexual, it just to me seems kind of creepy to me as 99% of the time it will be another guy or guys.

Now great though if we talked before and have other interests and such that we can hang out and don't even necessarily need to talk about diapers, but be able to hang out with someone that you don't have to worry about wearing one and changing and such when the need arises. That would also be a private changing thank you.

So ya for me an ABDL friend would have to be pretty much just a normal friend, who knows about my diaper wearing. At least for a guy, of course a girl would be a whole different story, I would be happy to RP either way with or without it being sexual, either way is fine with me.

wetatnight · April 2, 2011

I would also like to meet ab's or dl's near me too

but not for sexual reasons or role playing.

It would be nice to share our stories and to be able to realte to someone who shares a

common interest. :smiley-baby-boy:

What To Say?

Recommended Posts

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in