Problem. Need Advice

[toddmdl]

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to meet up with a girl that I met on the internet who is a mommy. She babied me,mommied me, cleaned me up, diapered me,etc. I got everything I wanted that in the past has turned me on. It should have been a time where I was completely satisfied as all of my sexual fantasies were taken care of. The catch is that it wasn't. I basically had no libido, she tried even tried to give me a hand but nothing happened. I felt like an old man that should have been in a viagra commercial. I had fun but I wasn't feeling anything. As a result I'm afraid I've developed a complex in my mind which is now causing anxiety and now I don't know what to do because I need this to stop. I'm also trying to wean myself off of SSRI's which could also be a culprit and I think that will help. My question is has anyone been through this kind of anxiety before and if so how do you make it go away?

[diapertime42]

Many guys are not aware of this, it is NOT talked about very often...

And you may find this very alarming.... But here goes....

The male body is only capable of a certain number of erections. Once you have used

all of yours up, that's it, no more... ever.

Sorry, but you shouldn't have played with it so much as a teenager.

But there's always the Priesthood - you don't need erections there!

Good luck!

[beallucanb]

To me, and I'm no expert at this, you were just afraid of a new situation.

some guys just can't preform worrying about everything going on.

I think if you went again, or had a similar experience with someone you knew better things would be different.

[DailyDi]

To me, and I'm no expert at this, you were just afraid of a new situation.

some guys just can't preform worrying about everything going on.

I think if you went again, or had a similar experience with someone you knew better things would be different.

This. (and possibly the medication side affects.)

[sarah_ab]

yes it could have something to do with the SSRI's in which case talk with your prescribing doctor about tapering down.... don't do it on your own, tell your doctor about your concerns about the side effects and see what they have to say.

but also.... for some many people, men and women, when they fantasize they are so focused on the physical acts going on they forget to recognize that they have to be attracted to the person to be fully satisfied.

I mean when i fantasize about say having a mommy, i take it for granted that in my fantasy world i am attracted to her, not just physically, but emotionally, intellectually as well. Perhaps you were having your physical fantasies met, but didn't realize that without that emotional connection it just wasn't all you dreamed of.

it may not be anything wrong, just you need to have more of a connection with someone aside from diapers to fully relax enough to enjoy the fantasy. Having someone do those things to you is very personal, and if the trust and connection isn't there, there is going to be a lot of anxiety on the inside, whether you have noticed it or not, and stress and anxiety directly influence sexual performance...

so i would suggest if you meet with this woman again, take some time to just chit chat, get to know each other, maybe go to eat, or get a coffee somewhere and just enjoy each others company as adults, to get a little more relaxed, before moving into the bedroom so to speak.. or in this case the nursery.

[underwhere]

Infants and toddlers are not shy. They haven't learned yet that they "should be shy" with their bodies and some of their actions. We adults *cough cough* have become cultured, even to the point that many of us find it very difficult and anxiety provoking to be in a situation which is "supposed to be" "wrong". It does not always matter what we want or fantasize about as much as what our minds, our training, our sense of self allows us to become, and we won't even talk about the pressures society puts on us to conform to being something we are not.

I consider myself bi-curious. I distinctly remember the first experience I had with a guy made me feel "dirty" afterwards, even though I really enjoyed some of the experience in the moment. (It was a different guy who taught me what the joys that the first guy was incapable of showing me.) Why was I repulsed by it? I'm not quite sure, but I have since had experiences which I felt much more comfortable with. It has been some time since I have been with a guy, and I am now in a relationship with a woman I hope to spend the rest of my life with.

All of this is to say that sometimes, we don't know what we want until we try it, and sometimes we have to try it a few times to get over our own anxiety and fears. Even then, sometimes, we discover it isn't what we thought we wanted. Nonetheless, I woiuld encourage you to keep trying. It can take many tries before we feel comfortable just letting go of our own preconceived notions of right and wrong. The frequency of binge and purge cycles around this "fetish" is testiment enough to that.

The hardest part may be to just let yourself feel, and not judge yourself for your feelings. I think sometimes we can all get so hypercritical of ourselves that the ability to experience things in the moment can be lost. Try to experience more and judge less. I know that is far easier said than done, but if you are able to do this, I think you will find any anxiety you have may be lessened, and you may be better able to enjoy the experiences you are having in the moment rather than thinking too much about them thereby creating your anxiety.

I hope this helps.

[belinda_sue_fox]

Rub a fresh raw onion on it, that will wo*k.

[diapertime42]

Rub a fresh raw onion on it, that will wo*k.

Won't that make "ole one-eye" cry????

[diaperboy4life]

The male body is only capable of a certain number of erections. Once you have used

all of yours up, that's it, no more... ever.

Are you serious?

[sarah_ab]

pretty sure he was kidding....

[BBB]

Are you serious?

Yea.... Didn't you take health class in jr. High?

[BriGuy]

What Sarah said!

[lil1inlongbeach]

Like someone else take the time to get know her personally on an adult level. This is what Daddy and I did before we took things to the AB/DL world. We just didn't jump into the AB/DL world first but started with our commons interests then built our relationship off of this. Good luck!

[Bettypooh]

Though they rarely admit it, most guys experience having their 'soldier failing to stand at attention' at times It's perfectly normal and can happen for a number of reasons- and even no reason at all Not being relaxed or being stressed out is the usual culprit Back in my 'guy' days, if I didn't like a girl, my 'soldier' went AWOL unless I was drunk and horny- then anyone would do I don't recommend drinking, but you get the idea You've got to be comfortable with the person, the setting, and the situation or this may happen If they're worth seeing again I'll bet that you'll make up for it the next time when you're more comfortable with everything

Bettypooh

[Ady692010]

I think erection related problems are more common than is usually admitted. Any guy who's made it to forty and hasn't had any experience of difficulty "getting it up" is a very lucky guy indeed. Sometimes the reasons are psychological and or emotional but sometimes there can be physical problems too, i.e. ones related to circulation and blood supply. If it's affecting your quality of life, I'd say the first port of call was your GP who may be able to offer advice and/or referral to a specialist. Good luck.

[sarah_ab]

unless I was drunk and horny- then anyone would do :

so what youa re saying is, that night your were drunk and horny and told me i was the most beautiful thing left in the bar who hadn't already hookoed up with someone else... you were lying and just wanted to get into my size 56" waist pants?

[Dill_Pickle]

I think erection related problems are more common than is usually admitted. Any guy who's made it to forty and hasn't had any experience of difficulty "getting it up" is a very lucky guy indeed. Sometimes the reasons are psychological and or emotional but sometimes there can be physical problems too, i.e. ones related to circulation and blood supply. If it's affecting your quality of life, I'd say the first port of call was your GP who may be able to offer advice and/or referral to a specialist. Good luck.

As a former user of SSRIs, I found that reaching a climax was a problem, but desire was not...and that this diminished significantly if the dose was spread out as evenly as possible over the day.

If you want my soldier not to perform, just get me really scared... and if you want me not interested, that's called depression.

Now, I'd say that the OP was nervous...and, if you are on edge like that, sex just won't come to your mind... that's actually normal. Sex is actually mostly going on in the mind, and you have to be relaxed enough to let that part of your mind come through. So I agree with the others here...get to know the gal, feel safe around her, then the sex will come.

One other thought: By sex, I assume you mean becoming aroused, and reaching a climax...not the traditional Adam-and-Eve kind of sex.

[toddmdl]

Thanks for the perspectives and ideas to those who contributed good advice. I have been able to get to know this girl and just talking to her and getting to know her better. I think things will go more smoothly this time since we'll be more comfortable and we'll know each other better. I'm also abstaining from all sex activities for a few days it will be worth it when the time comes to go back to the bedroom.

[Bettypooh]

so what youa re saying is, that night your were drunk and horny and told me i was the most beautiful thing left in the bar who hadn't already hookoed up with someone else... you were lying and just wanted to get into my size 56" waist pants?

Oh dear, I've been busted Yeah, that was me. But I figured that with a belt holding them up they would still fit Lets just say I wasn't selective when I drank, save for minimal personal hygiene standards and freedom from STD's With my low libido it didn't happen a lot, and it gave the less-pretty girls something to smile about too Back then I never figured I might end up as one of them Maybe my subconscious knew?

Bettypooh