Went To My First A.A. Meeting Yesterday

[Kari]

After months of considering, I finally went to my first AA meeting yesterday

(without a diaper if that matters).

I am no stranger of AA however.

Most of my family are alcoholics.

I almost know the 12 steps by heart.

But I was quiet and let the "old timers" talk without interruption.

They were very kind, honest and welcoming.

The few friends I told were praising me for finally going.

I hate letting other people down.

Today I decided to have another drink.... and another.

I feel like a looser already.

[beallucanb]

Hey so what you fell off the wagon, it happens, just start over.

I was quite the alcoholic myself I didn't go 1 day without it, I always drank to get drunk, I never new what just 1 drink was.

Right now it's been about 6 years since I had a beer, I don't miss the stuff.

I didn't start drinking until I was in my late 20's, at that age I was lonely and just wanted to be with people, and one thing led to another and then I was an alcoholic.

I quit so can you, if it don't work the first time so what try again, nothing wrong with 2nd and 3rd chances or 5th and 6th if you need them.

I think the main thing is you want to quit, it might take you awhile to get going who's counting.

I wish you the best of luck...Bee

[Guest little_jonny]

rome wasn't built in a day. it's going to take a while to fully kick the habit. if you have to, take all you drinks and poor them down the drain. or give them to some one to get them out of your house. do you have a frined or someone at the meetings you can call or just hang out with? anything really to keep your mind off of driking.

[Kari]

Yea, I'm blessed with lots of support (that I'm not ready to use yet right now)

I still want to drink and wear a diaper on a lazy Saturday and just be "comfortably numb".

I know it sounds like an easy way out, but that's just me being honest.

[Guest bokbefok]

Hey, i also quit drinking 2 months ago. Its a lonely process to put it mildly, lost alot of my friends through the process but its at times like these that you see who your real friends are. I tend to think that wearing a diaper is alot better for me than drinking myself into a coma and causing caos! Good luck with your endevour.

[DailyDi]

Wishing you the best!

[froggy]

Kari,

Keep trying. Do not give up. I wish you the stick-to-itness to be a success at this goal.

wribbit

[Valisia]

Best of luck

[Jackiewope]

Best wishes! Old habits are hard to kick, yes, but it certainly isn't impossible. People do it every day!

[KittenAB]

I don't believe in AA ... Penn and Teller already covered why I don't so no point in repeating it all. But here's what has worked for those who I have known in the shelters that overcame it: find something to waste your money on before you drink. Sounds simple and even a bit reckless, but it worked for them, after a while they were finding it hard to want to spend money on their substance. Really it's replacing one addiction for another, but then I'm of the mind that everyone is addicted to something, me it's nicotine and computers, I'm trying to cut back on smoking by spending more money on computers. LOL It is actually working to.

[Bettypooh]

As another peripheral FOB I am glad to hear that you are working toward your goal PM me if you want to about this- maybe my own story can help you get where you want to go I must admit that I do not fully believe in or adhere to those twelve steps, but I've found a way for myself that got me clean seven years ago and has kept me here happily It takes time to build your strength. It was only about a year and a half ago that I knew I could withstand the temptation of being in an alcohol-laden environment without falling off the wagon I haven't tried it yet, mind you, but now I finally feel free because nowhere is off-limits to me anymore- I can go wherever I wish and stay clean Now I can socialize with everyone again- and this time I'll feel great and not have to try and remember what I did in case I screwed something up the night before

Don't let temporary setbacks deter you from your goal and always remember that you are worth the effort. You can win this one and we're here to help

Bettypooh

[pins]

To thy own self be True . One day at a time. It works (AA) kept me out of prison, a mental institution, and a funeral home .

[aleyxsis]

Good luck Kari on however you achieve your goal all the best !!!

[square_duck]

I used to go to ACA meetings (adult children of alcoholics) since my mother drank....which ended up costing her her life

I went because I wanted answers....why I (felt) I was so "screwed up" or had my social issues etc. I got the answers I looked for, and attended a few meetings and then stopped, as I felt I had what I needed, or wanted. maybe I should go back...I don't know, as I have reached a level where I am happy and comfortable.

My older brother is terrified of alcoholism and thinks I am a drunk....which I am not, and I can say that with perfect honesty. I can socialize and go out with friends and have a beer or what ever and not get out of control or drink to excess. I drink for flavor and taste and to experience something new and interesting, as there are so many great and different beers to choose from, so i can enjoy myself with out getting smashed. Been there done that. I did all my drinking in College, and got it out of the way.

One thing that I have found that helped me was knowing that drinking (or drugs or what not) is a CHOICE and I choose not to let an inanimate object (alcohol) run my life....period. I know there are no answers at the bottom of a bottle, it's MY life and I am in control of it, 'I' choose what and where I am going and doing, not the Booze ( or other substance)

I told this to my therapist and he said I wasn't an alcoholic, so I'm absolutely clear on that...and it is a little truth that I have for myself. Mybe I have substituted diapers for alcohol *shrug* all I know is I have been wearing longer then I have been drinking, take from that what you will.

I know you feel lousy now, like you let yourself down etc, but keep trying, it will come. there will come a day when you have the courage and strength to just say 'NO' I don't think I'll have a drink today. what will be the catalyst?? who knows...maybe it will be the expense of the item itself..I know that I make myself feel guilty buying a 6 pack that sh*t is getting damn expensive! So maybe open a special savings account and every time you don't spend on alcohol, reward yourself with putting the money in the bank instead...buy a 'T' bill or something special for yourself...for something special down the road. It's a thought.

Finally, the truth is it is a decision and a choice...you will find that there are no answers at the bottom of a bottle or glass, just an empty bottle or dirty glass to wash. That can be an analogy for your life if you want to use it....how empty is your life or how 'dirty'

Just my 2 cents, I hope it helps somewhat, and thats all I can hope for. If not and you find a better truth somewhere, go with that and find your happiness.

Keep the serenity prayer with you and keep on keeping on :thumbs up

good luck

qwack FOJ

[Repaid1]

A little over a month ago a good buddy of mine met me going out the back gate of my local pub in the morning (I work Third shift) He had coffee as he had done for a year. He said it's one year today! It took me a second, to figure out what he was talking about. He saw the look on my face, and said, I haven't had a drink in one year today. I said congratulations and as I started to put out my hand to meet his on a shake, I stopped short and said that deserves a hug, which I did.

He got on his Harley on drove off. As I went into the bar and had a seat everybody was already going on about how it was cool that he made it this time, as he didn't for quite a while before on other tries. Back about 3 years earlier he was constantly drunk and high on coke and pot. So much so that I think on several occasions he was on 3 or 4 day straight binges without a break.

Our bars only close for 3 hours. Which is Close at 2:30 a.m. open at 5:30 a.m. For those freaking out remember there are second and third shift jobs and we like to get off work and have a beer with the gang too! Unfortunately it also draws the drunks. Many times you will see the cars out in the lots with the guys sleeping through the 3 hour re-stock / cleaning, to come right back in and start it all over. He was one of those guys.

The different stories we told of how he had managed to not die on so many different occasions was boggling our minds, eventually we moved onto politics or whatever else.

The next day when i walked into the bar I detected the quiet, I was pulled aside by the bartender (Another good friend of mine) who told me the news. It seems he went to his award ceremony the night before, got his 1 year coin, and celebrated with his AA gang. On his way home on a up ramp off the freeway for whatever reason he misjudged his speed, hit a rock who knows, but his bike slid out and he went flying. As I said he rode a Harley so you don't need to ask if he wore a helmet. It's a shame as he smashed his skull in three places. He was ground up from head to toe. Don't fear it gets better. So anyway here I am thinking WTF??? After 20 plus years of driving when he couldn't even walk, this happens now?

It was touch and go for a few days or really about 2 weeks, good news bad news were literally hours apart. Last week we got semi good news that he wasn't totally paralyzed as they thought as he started moving his right side. He also got up and went to the restroom himself. He can't talk yet but does seem to regonize people now. He continues to progress. And with time perhaps he will be his normal self again.

So why did I tell this story? I have no damn Idea Other than to say who the hell knows what life offers you. Are you more likely to hurt yourself or others drunk? Statistics say yes, but in this case not so much. Actually more accidents are caused by tired drivers than drinking. So back to you. You and you alone will make the decision to quit, as was said it's a choice and your choice for now. You have already established your a Alcoholic, that in the sense that you can't control your actions of when and how much to drink. It's not a bad thing, it just so happens that some people are predisposed to dependency. As was stated you could try and switch it out. For something deemed less harmful. You could just say the heck with it and keep doing what your doing. The choice is yours and you and you alone will determine whether you accomplish your goal. Not AA, not your friends, not the people on this board, no one but you can decide when your ready to take that step. Regardless of the hundreds of stories you hear, nobody is like you. their stories might give you strength but let nobody tell you you can do it cause I did.

They are not you, you are you. When your ready to tell yourself this is what I want, then others may help you along the path. If we didn't fail in life then we would never learn. I hope your journey is a short one to a sober life if that is what you choose. Don't let anyone put you down, or say they have been in your shoes. You know what you need to do for you. So do it for you and nobody else. Best of luck on what you choose and Let us know how it's working for you.

[square_duck]

A little over a month ago a good buddy of mine met me going out the back gate of my local pub in the morning (I work Third shift) He had coffee as he had done for a year. He said it's one year today! It took me a second, to figure out what he was talking about. He saw the look on my face, and said, I haven't had a drink in one year today. I said congratulations and as I started to put out my hand to meet his on a shake, I stopped short and said that deserves a hug, which I did.

He got on his Harley on drove off. As I went into the bar and had a seat everybody was already going on about how it was cool that he made it this time, as he didn't for quite a while before on other tries. Back about 3 years earlier he was constantly drunk and high on coke and pot. So much so that I think on several occasions he was on 3 or 4 day straight binges without a break.

Our bars only close for 3 hours. Which is Close at 2:30 a.m. open at 5:30 a.m. For those freaking out remember there are second and third shift jobs and we like to get off work and have a beer with the gang too! Unfortunately it also draws the drunks. Many times you will see the cars out in the lots with the guys sleeping through the 3 hour re-stock / cleaning, to come right back in and start it all over. He was one of those guys.

The different stories we told of how he had managed to not die on so many different occasions was boggling our minds, eventually we moved onto politics or whatever else.

The next day when i walked into the bar I detected the quiet, I was pulled aside by the bartender (Another good friend of mine) who told me the news. It seems he went to his award ceremony the night before, got his 1 year coin, and celebrated with his AA gang. On his way home on a up ramp off the freeway for whatever reason he misjudged his speed, hit a rock who knows, but his bike slid out and he went flying. As I said he rode a Harley so you don't need to ask if he wore a helmet. It's a shame as he smashed his skull in three places. He was ground up from head to toe. Don't fear it gets better. So anyway here I am thinking WTF??? After 20 plus years of driving when he couldn't even walk, this happens now?

It was touch and go for a few days or really about 2 weeks, good news bad news were literally hours apart. Last week we got semi good news that he wasn't totally paralyzed as they thought as he started moving his right side. He also got up and went to the restroom himself. He can't talk yet but does seem to regonize people now. He continues to progress. And with time perhaps he will be his normal self again.

So why did I tell this story? I have no damn Idea Other than to say who the hell knows what life offers you. Are you more likely to hurt yourself or others drunk? Statistics say yes, but in this case not so much. Actually more accidents are caused by tired drivers than drinking. So back to you. You and you alone will make the decision to quit, as was said it's a choice and your choice for now. You have already established your a Alcoholic, that in the sense that you can't control your actions of when and how much to drink. It's not a bad thing, it just so happens that some people are predisposed to dependency. As was stated you could try and switch it out. For something deemed less harmful. You could just say the heck with it and keep doing what your doing. The choice is yours and you and you alone will determine whether you accomplish your goal. Not AA, not your friends, not the people on this board, no one but you can decide when your ready to take that step. Regardless of the hundreds of stories you hear, nobody is like you. their stories might give you strength but let nobody tell you you can do it cause I did.

They are not you, you are you. When your ready to tell yourself this is what I want, then others may help you along the path. If we didn't fail in life then we would never learn. I hope your journey is a short one to a sober life if that is what you choose. Don't let anyone put you down, or say they have been in your shoes. You know what you need to do for you. So do it for you and nobody else. Best of luck on what you choose and Let us know how it's working for you.

[BBB]

AA meetings didnt work for me personally. Perhaps it was the group or the people, but it just wasn't for me...

I found a balance that sets limits that I acknowledge and respect, and it keeps me on an even keel where I can choose to have a alcoholic beverage, or a straight coke. For me, it was about limiting myself from the excess.

Congratulations Kari, make the best of it.