Husband Is A Dl.. Help Me Understand.

[DLsWife]

I've seen a lot of threads like this, so Im sure Ill get a lot of the repeated information. Heres the deal. My husband and I got marred 6 months ago. We've been together for 2 years. He is the most amazing man I've ever met and I truly love him with all my heart. I guess for the last two years, he's been trying to hint at his DL side, and I've just been so.. blind I never even suspected. So, the other day, I was checking his email for an email he needed and I saw an email from an online ABDL site. At first I didn't know what it was, I was angry because I couldn't figure out who he was buying diapers for, he had told me he was a virgin when we met and here he was buying diapers for some kid somewhere. Then I went to the site.. and realized they were adult diapers. So then I started wondering if he had a medical problem he had kept from me, or if it was a sexual thing. I was so.. nervous to ask him because I didn't want him to be embarrassed and I didn't want him to be mad and thing I was snooping I was also a little hurt that he had kept something like this from me, considering how open I have been with my kink. In any case, I tried to gently confront him about it, and after him getting over the initial mortification, we talked about it. I knew, even before he admitted it was a sexual thing, that if that was the case, it didn't matter to me. I love him the way he is, and knowing this about him does not change who he is. To be honest, while I don't understand it, It doesn't bother me for the most part. I've always been a very open person sexually, and if thats what floats his boat, thats ok with me. That said, there is one aspect of it that I cant seem to get past right now. He told me he voids in them. He doesn't do number 2, but he does urinate. I don't know why this one aspect of it seems to bother me so much. I know that they don't leak, so I have no reason to be weirded out by it really, but inexplicably it bothers me and I need some advice on how to get past that. I want him to be comfortable and I don't want him to feel like he has to hide anything or be ashamed of anything. Its my problem, not his. He shouldn't have to change who he is because of something that logically I know is so trivial. He doesn't want me to change him or clean him or anything, so its not even an issue of me having to come into contact with it, it just.. is. I don't know. Help please! I want him to feel like he is safe and has nothing to be embarrassed about.

[Guest little_jonny]

people are DL's for many different reasons, they love the feel of a diaper, its like a security blanket, they felt like they grew up to fast as a kid and wearing them makes them feel like they are a kid. talk to him more about it. there coud be a reason why he wears. and its nice that you want to understand about this and want to be supportive through it. take everything slowly and ask him questions. findng out that the one you love is a DL/AB can be hard to understand. some relationships have ended because of it. i wish you the best of luck with you and your husband

[tcc]

From THIS DL, there is "joy in Mudville" and there is "sadness in Mudville" (reference to the poem "Casey at the Bat"). You talk about other threads. You are exactly correct that there have been tons of others in this regard. But, once again, the LACK of communication, honesty and being "upfront" comes back to bite someone frozen by fear.

Your husband is, indeed, a very lucky man. He has YOU. You are open-minded with your OWN "kink". I'd be interested in knowing what that is, especially since it leaves you open to HIS "leanings". That you would explore his "world" and choose to learn more, in a support capacity sets you above many other spouses "out there".

Shame on your husband for NOT being open and honest with your BEFORE you got married, to let you CHOOSE if you wanted to be with him "that way" or stay with him. It is a travesty that so many in the DL/AB world WAIT to "confess" or inform a partner, and then either EXPECT the partner will accept the revelation or HOPE that they will. I mean, what's the WORST that can happen? A person you care about very deeply can simply hit the highway! Love hurts at times. And, at times, we need to regroup and move on and start over again, sad, but wiser, and, hopefully, MORE honest, upfront.

Depending upon what YOUR kink is, what you need to know - and I'd encourage you to look over some of my blog entries; I'm an avowed DL, and have been for over 40 YEARS, and know myself very well - is that for many, if not most DLs - and there IS a difference between DLs and ABs, which is too extensive to get into - diaper pleasure comes from tactile sensation (mostly for males) because of the constant stimulation from diaper contact with the genitals. Some of us simply love the ability to "let go" - urinate AND have a bowel movement - and have it be self-contained, with no one else knowing we're doing that. You've heard of "water sports". There are a few that are into poop play, too. Be that as it may, diaperism is pretty tame and harmless. And, if hubby takes care of himself with his diapers, then watching him wetting or being wet will help you see that it IS pretty harmless and is a positive thing for him. And, if you can get beyond that this big strong man that you love enjoys wetting his diapers, and be encouraging - always letting him know you ARE accepting - you will draw more out of him about what has made him a DL and what he likes. When he feels more comfortable talking about it, and having you see him in diapers and encouraging him to be who he is, it will become more natural for you to get the information you need to understand him directly from HIM.

You're right. It's nothing YOU have done to make him be embarassed and not very communicative. It's obvious he just didn't know how to approach the reality and facts, and it's too bad. It gives you way to much room for concern and have fears, when the reality IS that when you find out more, and you both can relax about it, you will end up having a whole lot of fun together figuring out ways to please both of you within the scope of what you both enjoy!

If you don't push, if you don't "interrogate", if you don't "cross-examine" him, and ask him to let you watch what he does and how - to HELP you understand, he may begin to feel more comfortable sharing with you, getting over his embarassment and fears. Then, later, you may be able to surprise him with things he never expected in your "play. If you stay at this site and peruse the forums, you will never discover all the ideas available or run out of things to try!

Have fun. You two are very lucky that you have each other. Many at this site would kill to have a woman even remotely as open-minded as you!

[craigey1]

Personally I like to wet in my diaper / nappy due to the warmth, but would never make a mess in them. I'd always remove the diaper if I need a number 2. Yet I never got my head around the watersports thing, which I was aware of before the whole AB thing.

My wife is aware of my AB fetish, but she doesn't seem to understand the pleasurable feeling of wetting either & I don't believe she ever will, so I only do that when she's not around (although not all the time)!

[DLsWife]

Personally I like to wet in my diaper / nappy due to the warmth, but would never make a mess in them. I'd always remove the diaper if I need a number 2. Yet I never got my head around the watersports thing, which I was aware of before the whole AB thing.

My wife is aware of my AB fetish, but she doesn't seem to understand the pleasurable feeling of wetting either & I don't believe she ever will, so I only do that when she's not around (although not all the time)!

This sounds the most like My hubby and I. He isn't into watersports at all. He thinks messing is dirty. Its just the peeing. Honestly that's the only part of it I cant get my head around and I feel like a jerk We've talked and are going to take it slow. Hes going to hold off on the wetting himself portion until I'm more used to the whole thing. I love him so much, and even if I cant ever fully understand it, Id like to think I can get to the point where it doesn't bother me as much. I don't want him to ever feel like I find him yucky And that's what I am worried about the most, I think, with the pee thing. Is that I will react poorly and hurt him and I don't want to do that.

[Valisia]

Just try and take it one day at a time =)

Just be as supportive as you can and just continue to love him as much as you already do .

[craigey1]

I don't think you should feel bad about not being able to get your head around it. You get credit by not being totally freaked out by your husbands fantasy. Most of us know that what we're doing isn't exactly considered normal behavior, but the way I see it is that there are far more strange things being done out there by people to get their kicks & I don't involve anyone else who isn't aware of what I'm doing.

I think that you, like most people are aware that when you pee it's a waste product & you've been taught from a young age that your body's waste goes in the toilet & that because it's 'unclean', yucky & dirty that you have to wash your hands to prevent spreading germs. It's no suprise that you don't get why your husband wants to wet in his diaper, but he has probabaly learnt to overcome these teachings & just use the diaper as it was intended. Providing he cleans himself & showers, he probably believes that anything dirty is being cleaned away. (This is how I feel about it, but obviously I can only speak for myself).

Out of curiosity what was your kink?

[diaper ron]

my wife no of my diaper love for 30 years she is not in to it .meis 24/7

[Dill_Pickle]

Necro, necromancy!! Lol

[SoakedinTexas]

my wife no of my diaper love for 30 years she is not in to it .meis 24/7

Huh??? What??? Restarting an old thread and making no since...

[Rihanna]

my wife no of my diaper love for 30 years she is not in to it .meis 24/7

Necro posting a 2 year three month thread with no new info???? And HUH??

[Bettypooh]

OK it's time to make a point here. Three people have posted about thus topic being a "necropost" and in their so doing they too have not contributed to the thread either. Here's the real poop so you will understand

There are a huge number of interesting topics on this site, and many of them faded away for a time but may be worth reviving for the newer members that did not see them when the posts were new. If you have something substantial to add feel free to bring up old topics- they were not closed so that you can do this. If all you have to say is "Me too" please refrain from that, you will have many other newer places to state those sentiments.

There are often multiple threads on the same topic. Before you open a new topic please take some time to see if it has already been opened by someone else. It is rather inconsiderate to start a new topic when the same topic is being currently discusses on this board in a different thread.

Don't be an a$$ in pointing out that someone has revived an old thread. If all you've got to say is to bash them for necroposting, then you are as guilty of making an error as they are.

Be considerate of each other. If you have something to say, do it in a non-offensive manner so that your words will be well-received and understood. If you disagree with someone, debate the concept- don't bash the person who stated it and don't argue with them over it. We want everyone to enjoy this website and we will do whatever is needed to ensure that this happens. Any questions?

Bettypooh

[square_duck]

I kind of don't get the point of dredging up old posts just to reply to something when the O/P hasn't even been back to check or read anything since they originally posted the topic! Example is this thread, the O/P DLsWife, hasn't been back on this site since October 4,2010.......Sooo who is everyone posting to in their replies???

just wondering....

[Repaid1]

Your assuming again that one, people take the time to look at the date, let alone are smart enough to use all the fun features this board has to offer or even know how to do so

[Nat]

Why was the post approved if it was necro bumping?