Wife Is Having A Hard Time With This...

[adriansurley]

Just for your information - I will pray for you again tonight. Enjoy your night.

[WetterGuy]

Hey Lightning,

Your post has sure ignited a bunch of discussion, and I'm enjoying reading it all. I am Christian as well and also married, coming from a grace-filled tradition of Christianity, so I may be able to offer a slightly different perspective from those stated earlier in the thread.

I'm married to a wonderful, accepting wife. She knows that I wear diapers - here's the thing. I believe that most of us in this community actually need to wear diapers, and when I told my then girlfriend, now wife, that I wear diapers, I couched my statement about wearing in need. As soon as the dating got serious, I invited my then girlfriend over to my apartment and I told her flat out that I sometimes need to wear diapers. I've needed them since I was eleven years old. I don't need to wear them all the time, but if I don't wear them from time to time I start to stress out. My body needs the protection sometimes - the ability to let go both physically and mentally. I told her that I am no different when I am wearing diapers than when I am not. It's a part of me and who I am, and I don't turn into some "freak" when I'm diapered. And I said if she wanted to accept me as I am, she would have to accept that I sometimes wore diapers, but it was really not that big of a deal.

Surprisingly to me, she happily accepted it, and I think it's because I approached it from the need angle and not the desire angle. When we first got married I asked my wife for constant input: what was working, was I wearing too much or upsetting her, etc. I kept the conversation open, and she gave constructive feedback . We have worked out a good system where I can wear discreetly almost anytime, and she does not mind. I know I'm imperfect, and I often pray for God to work through imperfect me. I pray that one day I may give it up, and I also give thanks for such a wonderful wife.

Lightning, for the sake of your marriage, do not deny yourself diapers but work it through with your wife until you reach some level of trust and acceptance. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I know from experience and conversation with many others that these desires don't easily go away, and I fear that if you repress your needs you may end up resenting your wife and maybe even acting out in ways that will damage your marriage as a result. In the meantime, I will keep you and your wife in prayer. Please keep us updated.

[PalmTropyx]

In the manual of life, there should be a small disclaimer that reads, "This book applies best to people who can see beyond the social norm. Those who wish not to struggle may find the contents to hard too understand or bear. Prescribed reading for all; truly understood by the very few. Life goes beyond the covers of this novella."

Life is not black and white.

In most situations, the course to any outcome usually has no one "right" or "wrong" answer. To be more relative, there is more than one way to eat a mango. Unpeeled, the mango can be bitter. Peeled, and you may find your hands drenched in sticky sweet juices. Too big a bite, and you could chip a tooth on the pit embedded inside. Cutting the pit out can be a challenge, and you could potentially cut yourself. Cooked or uncooked; salted or blended in a tangy margarita -- the choices are a varied as they come. And all choices come with varied degrees of difficulty, pleasure, inconvenience, cost of time, nutrition, happiness, and, yes, sweet sticky juice! I could burden you with the possibility of related distant memories extracted from smells, colour, taste, and the overall activity of preparing and consuming a mango but I believe you all to understand the power of recollection.

The point is, however you chose to deal with the mango, there is no real wrong way to consume it. Life is about variation, and no one has the right to enforce a "right way only" singular method of handling a mango. If life was all about single processes in constantly repeated, we would all die of boredom and gloom. God did not put thousands of varieties of Orchids on this planet if the intent was not to show "We should all love wonderous variety. It is what allows all things to adapt, and work in ever changing times."

Those who live in a black and white world fail to give themselves the opportunities to learn new things, develop a more worldly sense of culture and methodology, and nurture their spirits/souls from such varied abundance and experience. It is those whom I truly feel empathy. What good is a mind if so closed are the doors of tolerance and understanding.

Different does not equal evil/bad.

Honesty is a very good trait to possess. But like all traits, can be to a fault. Try being overly honest at a border crossing, and you may be perceived as someone trying to hide something. Isn't it funny how something so good can also be deciphered as something bad or suspicious? Life is truly not black and white as various perceptions collide and are not always in colour.

Being honest with your wife was your decision to do a "right thing". For the most part, it shows courage and respect for your love one. Hiding such a secret would eventually eat away at your sanity, and betray your credibility. Lesson in life #503 (or was it 504?): The very people who would demand a strong standard of trust and honesty in those around them are sometimes the very people who cannot handle the results. I am sure we have all been there. Once in my life, someone, being honest to my expectations, told me about his use of drugs. Instead of absorbing the information, sorting it out, and responding understandingly, I reacted and snapped. I was quite young then, and failed to realize at that moment the negative, alienating impact I had on my friend.

It is up to her to see the good in your actions, and find reason to work it out or put an end to her involvement. While it would be nice, and somewhat expected, you provide support and comfort in overcoming her issues, ultimately she must come to her own conclusions. Pirates of old used to decree: "What a person can do; what a person can't do." Although very basic, the overture is quite accurate. Can she find a way to accept a unique perspective in life, or can she not? Would she rather you smoke dope every day or do crack on the streets to cope with your stresses? Why are you stressed? (Remember, she is confused of your "why's" of your diaper wearing.) Is your love sincere with her, and is she to bear this "difference" on her own? Are you willing to compromise in this situation, or help in other ways?

You may be different, but no less the man than you have already been for her. Unique but not evil. Simply, a good man with a "device" of no harm or malice to anyone.

God loves wondrous variety.

Frogs will change sex in environments which lack the numbers of the opposite sex. Thousands of species of insects are constantly evolving. Hundreds of unique cultures co-habitate to which there are not enough sheets of paper to write a complete anthropology. From rainbows to tornados, all things have a purpose. How we perceive them are varied and unique. It is this which brings rise to a phenomenon discovered long ago.

Although we are all of many minds and infinite thoughts, if left to find a definitive answer to a problem, we will eventually come to the singular correct resolve. Step back a bit and realize also as a whole are we not able to stray too far from singular methods in life. Unfortunately as society meanders its way along, the social norm is generally imposed but not subject to the same "good" or "bad" as it implies. Society used to view scantly clad folk as "evil". Now, it is sold on every street corner. Smoking was "good" and now is "bad". Supporting a government was "good" and now seen as "cautiously and questionable". Today, some still believe in having a plethora of children to validate their existence. Others see it as one of the cornerstones of an overgrown and ever progressing level of poverty around the world. There is no real "wrong or right" answer -- tons of variety however, and this is what allows change and adaptability going forward.

Your life is one variety I truly hope your wife will be able to one day accept (and maybe even appreciate).

For some of us, we simply move on, and keep going. Never abandon the concept, you can overcome. We were not given the minds to be mindless.

Smiles,

Palm Tropyx!

[diapermommie]

It's often not as simple as "she might be offended and thinks it's bad because it's unknown" That is true, of course. But she is married to him. When you marry someone, you know them, or at least believe you do, and you should know them, and them you, better than anyone else on the planet. She is likely feeling betrayed and wondering what else he might be keeping.

My husband told me before we married. Before we ever thought of getting married. And I'm very glad he did, because had he waited until we were already married, I'd be pissed too. I would question who I married and why he didn't feel ok in telling me. Not to mention, it would have hurt me alot knowing the whole time we were married he'd been talking to other strangers online about something that was part of him but never told me. It would be a breach of trust in my mind and it would take some time and alot of discussion to get over that. I didn't have that issue because like I said, we were still dating and still getting to know each other.

How would you feel if you'd been married, promised your life to someone and lived a life you thought was whole and then all of a sudden it's not what you thought? It's like having a secret life. I don't blame her at all for being upset and not accepting at this point. It's not like he told her "you know honey, I actually DO NOT like steak" This is a big deal.

You might technically be the same person she married, it doesnt' change how you feel for her etc. But I think to say there are no differences is naive. Would you be immediately accepting and ok if your wife came to you one night and said something you would never ever expect her to say? I know alot of people think "I'd be ok, I'd be accepting" well sure you say that because you're looking at things from your point of view that you'd want acceptance. But what if it's something you really might not be ok with? What if you married someone you thought was Catholic and had been going to church with and one day she tells you she's actually a close atheist?

When things change suddenly, when the man you woke up next to is not the same man you're now standing next to having this bizarre conversation with, I think it's horribly unrealistic to think she's just going to be ok with it. It troubles me that so many people took the "she needs to be more accepting!" stance on this. He should never have married her with this in his closet, it was deceptive. I know it's hard. But you know what, when you promise to live your entire life with someone, hiding things is not the way to start that off if you expect to actually be married forever.

[sarah_ab]

lightning, i am truely sorry to hear you and your wife are both having trouble with this issue. I do hope things will improve with time and patience, both from you, and from her.

Perhaps showing her some of the artibles or threads on this site or others that you have found particularly helpful or insightful might give her more information and insight into your needs/desires.

It might also allow her to anonymously come to this, or other sites, and ask questions and find others who have perhaps gone through the same thing she is.

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties and do hope things improve!

please remember, while some members will want to debate religion, as for some people it is a heated topic, there are many of us who are here for you, and can lend a shoulder or some 'been there done that' advice.

Good Luck to you both.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Okay I'm going to have a stupid moment. Dlighting were you serious about the blog or making fun of me? I have a blog on my myspace page but it is more of a rant and making fun of things then personal refelection. I am kind of leading torwards a blog based on personal reflection, just not on myspace.

I have been praying for you and your situation and am believing that everything will work out for the best.(cliched phrase alert)

[adriansurley]

God has a plan for all of us and I will pray for you again tonight.

Have a blessed night.

[Guest dllightning]

Your prayers are welcomed. Let me update you all -

So after reading some posts I asked my wife "Have you told anyone about this?"

"Well, I was trying to figure out how to tell my best friend." she answered.

"Please don't do that."

We were out and about so we didnt talk more until that evening. Here is a summary.

She really thinks this is freaky. And I asked her why not talk to me about it and NOT her friend. She said she didnt want to hurt my feeling by what she may say about the whole thing. She is still in unbelief. My flesh just wants to whip out a diaper, put it on, and show her its real! But, not gonna do that yet. Its like she is saying "if he knows how freaked out by it, maybe it will just go away..." How do I tell her that it will not go away and not sound like a strung out meth addict?

She also asked if I told any of my pastors. I told her no and that you dont talk about fetishes. She gave me a weird look. At the end of the converstation I told her she could ask her friend strictly what she thought fetishes and that is it. I told her I would consider asking our current pastor what he thought about fetishes. Didnt say I would do it though. But am thinking about it. I have to get her past the diapers are not inherently sinful, and fetishes arent inherently sinful.

on the lighter side she took a look and 2 pages of the understanding infantilism site. Found stuff "interesting." Got to a point where she did not want to read anymore and said "This still doesnt change how I feel about it."

I have read alot of ur posts, some are really good and good for me.

Tonight I am gonna write an apology email. She deserves it all spelled out.

Then I am contemplating to wait a day and send another email that states what diapers do for me and what I purpose.

Now for me, I feel diapers are not a sexual fetish, but they could be if she denies me sexually.

I like the comfort and stress reliever that they are. I love the practicality of them.

I do not want to share them with anyone, they are personal.

I will purpose that for a compromise that I would be able to wear if she is not aware of them, or not around.

The saga continues...

[sarah_ab]

I'm glad you are trying to open up to your wife lightning, and that she was willing to even look at an ab/dl related website.

Now i think it is time for you to completely step away from all things DL in regards to your relationship with her, you dont have to stop coming here, or stop liking diapers, but now it seems is the time to stop asking her about them, stop mentioning it, and just continue with your loving relationship with her as your wife, like you were before you told her.

She needs more than a day to process, she needs more than a week to process, she may need more than a month or even a year. You have told her. Now its time for you to step back and let her take the lead in regards to this.

I can understand how you just want her to accept and love you for all of you, and by telling her, you have now given her this chance, but she is going to need time, how much time is entirely up to her.

She knows the websites are out there, she has a friend she feels she can talk to, and trust me, women tell their best friends everything, so 45 years from now, she is still going to be telling her best friend all the things you dont want anyone to know about you.

I am very happy to hear that you were able to take that leap, but now you need to take a step back... a LARGE step back, and let her take the lead.

at least if i were in her shoes thats what i would like my husband to do.

[Guest dllightning]

before or after i tell her i want to wear?

I'm glad you are trying to open up to your wife lightning, and that she was willing to even look at an ab/dl related website.

Now i think it is time for you to completely step away from all things DL in regards to your relationship with her, you dont have to stop coming here, or stop liking diapers, but now it seems is the time to stop asking her about them, stop mentioning it, and just continue with your loving relationship with her as your wife, like you were before you told her.

She needs more than a day to process, she needs more than a week to process, she may need more than a month or even a year. You have told her. Now its time for you to step back and let her take the lead in regards to this.

I can understand how you just want her to accept and love you for all of you, and by telling her, you have now given her this chance, but she is going to need time, how much time is entirely up to her.

She knows the websites are out there, she has a friend she feels she can talk to, and trust me, women tell their best friends everything, so 45 years from now, she is still going to be telling her best friend all the things you dont want anyone to know about you.

I am very happy to hear that you were able to take that leap, but now you need to take a step back... a LARGE step back, and let her take the lead.

at least if i were in her shoes thats what i would like my husband to do.

[sarah_ab]

oh i mean like right this very minute. just completely forget about discussing anything related to your liking diapers, anything related to fetish's, anything at all that she would connect to this.

she needs TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME to process this.

like i said, i can only imagine how great you must feel to have been able to take that step, i've never had to tell my boyfriend about being an ab, because we met on this site, but there have been times i've had to tell him things, and i didn't know how he would react... so i understand how great it feels to finally tell the person you love...

however you've told her, and given her the tools she needs to find out on her own time more about it (websites). but the rest is up to her and i dont want to see anything bad happen because she feels you are pressuring her. I'm not saying you are or are not, just that is how she could be feeling, so i would suggest just completely backing off, and maybe revisiting this is 3-6 months.. yeah months... unless she brings it up first....

[Vic]

Now for me, I feel diapers are not a sexual fetish, but they could be if she denies me sexually.

The saga continues...

WTF? Not a sexual thing for you NOW, but COULD BE if she denies you sexually? Is this NOT a load of EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL?

I mean, forget the fact that you didn't give her this little nugget of information that she most definately was entitled to LONG before you even proposed to her, okay? Let's just forget about that for a moment, lets' look at what you're saying now.

In essence you're telling her that if she doesn't still sleep with you, you might just turn to your diapers for your sexual needs. That's not too cool Slick.

I think you should leave her alone for awhile and see if she can forgive you for NOT TELLING HER LONG BEFORE YOU MARRIED HER, and just wait until SHE talks to YOU. I really think that the way you have handled this was kind of awful, so lets not make things any worse than they are now and keep your mouth shut.

Think things through before you talk any more to her, be sure that what you say doesn't compound the problems you are facing.

Peace,

Vic

[Guest dllightning]

have you read my other thread mentioned in this thread on the back story to WHY I didn't tell her.

And about the sexual side of things. This pregnanct has been difficult for her. Her sex drive has been nada. Couple with the first 3.5 months she had a condition where we could not interact with each other sexually. We had to make do, but even then it was sparse because we lived at her parents house. I am 25 and I have the sex drive a man should have. About every 3 days there is that itch... Now what happens when that is denied? Man still itches and is tempted to relieve that. I dont believe in masturbation - so there is no sexual outlet for the sexual tension. It is then that I am tempted more so to wear diapers to have some "satisfaction"

Now things are back to normal, we are in our new house and the midwifery has released her back to normal activities.

And I havent told her this and probably wont because she just cant seem to handle REALITY. Reality that I am a man and we are set up to work differently than women. The way to spell love to a man is S-E-X.

And in opposition to the notion that this is a whacked statement. I ask any other male that is not in a relationship to PM me and tell me how they relieve their tension by NOT masturbating. I am open to suggestions

WTF? Not a sexual thing for you NOW, but COULD BE if she denies you sexually? Is this NOT a load of EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL?

I mean, forget the fact that you didn't give her this little nugget of information that she most definately was entitled to LONG before you even proposed to her, okay? Let's just forget about that for a moment, lets' look at what you're saying now.

In essence you're telling her that if she doesn't still sleep with you, you might just turn to your diapers for your sexual needs. That's not too cool Slick.

I think you should leave her alone for awhile and see if she can forgive you for NOT TELLING HER LONG BEFORE YOU MARRIED HER, and just wait until SHE talks to YOU. I really think that the way you have handled this was kind of awful, so lets not make things any worse than they are now and keep your mouth shut.

Think things through before you talk any more to her, be sure that what you say doesn't compound the problems you are facing.

Peace,

Vic

[herbie]

have you read my other thread mentioned in this thread on the back story to WHY I didn't tell her.

And about the sexual side of things. This pregnanct has been difficult for her. Her sex drive has been nada. Couple with the first 3.5 months she had a condition where we could not interact with each other sexually. We had to make do, but even then it was sparse because we lived at her parents house. I am 25 and the sex drive a man should have. About every 3 days there is that itch... Now what happens when that is denied? Man still itches and is tempted to relieve that. I dont believe in masturcation - so there is no sexual outlet for the sexual tension. It is then that I am tempted more so to wear diapers to have some "satisfaction"

Now things are back to normal, we are in our new house and the midwifery has released her back to normal activities.

And I havent told her this and probably wont because she just cant seem to handle REALITY. Reality that I am a man and we are set up to work differentlt than women. The way to spell love to a man is S-E-X.

And in opposition to the notion that this is a whacked statement. I ask any other male that is not in a relationship to PM me and tell me how they relieve their tension by NOT masturcating. I am all ears.

Got the answer! Masturbate!! You can still abide by your rule of "No Masturcating". Not sure how the ears work with that but whatever!

[PampersPete]

Got the answer! Masturbate!! You can still abide by your rule of "No Masturcating". Not sure how the ears work with that but whatever!

[herbie]

Uh-oh. I bet I get another warning .....

[diapermommie]

I just really don't even know how to respond to that. Sure sex is a healthy and important part of a relationship. But depending where she is in pregnancy, she might lose her drive again. It might not come back for months after the baby is born, depending on alot of factors.

I get the "itch" several times a day! I certainly don't gauge how my husband feels about me with whether or not his itches match mine. For the record, he's 24 going on 25 so the same age.

Regardless, I beg to differ on the "show a man you love him by having sex with him" statement. God I hope I'm never reduced to sex being the only way to explain that.

My husband managed just fine when I wasn't in the mood or felt like crap the first few months, or couldn't do anything due to having a c section for 2 months. He didn't masturbate, and didn't feel the need to. We were too wrapped up in our new life. Sex doesn't really cross your mind so much when you have a newborn to take care of.

Anyhow. There are plenty of ways I can let him know I love him that don't involve sex. Like, oh I don't know. Telling him? Hugging him, kissing him, snuggling with him, letting him know he's the cheese to my macaroni (to steal Juno's line) letting him know I need him, thanking him for being the best husband on earth. I'd feel horrible if I the only thing I could do to let my husband know I loved him was to get nekkid with him. Sheesh.

And I do have to say, aside from waiting until after you were married to tell her, telling her while she's pregnant (I assume she still is, but maybe she isn't. I'm guessing she is as you did not mention any baby yet) is even worse. Women are so not stable and rational and normal during pregnancy, and it's not their fault. There's nothing they can do to suddenly be more logical/rational/normal. They hate it more than husbands do, I can promise you that. Trying to get her to process this during a time she is incredibly vulnerable and self conscious was a really bad decision.

I hope you don't think you're diaper needs are going to get much consideration in the next many months and possibly years. Babies have a way of doing that. Babies coming into the world under very stable, solid circumstances challenge a relationship like you won't believe. Doing so after you've just unloaded this secret desire of yours onto her...big no no. I'd do what Sarah suggested, and drop it, fast. For possibly the next 6-12 months depending where she is in pregnancy. I'm sorry but your needs aren't very high on her list right now. Nor should they be on your list.

[superdiaperbaby]

Tonight I am gonna write an apology email. She deserves it all spelled out.

Then I am contemplating to wait a day and send another email that states what diapers do for me and what I purpose.

Now for me, I feel diapers are not a sexual fetish, but they could be if she denies me sexually.

I like the comfort and stress reliever that they are. I love the practicality of them.

I do not want to share them with anyone, they are personal.

I will purpose that for a compromise that I would be able to wear if she is not aware of them, or not around.

The saga continues...

Do the email thing, but don't get too graphic. Do it once every couple of weeks. You need to make her feel comfortable with you again. From what you say, to her you are now not the person she married. Make sure to remind her of all of your other qualities that she married. Imagine if the situation were reversed and she liked guys puking on her. What would you do? How would you process it? How would like that introduced in your life? Would it be fair for you to have her do that when you are not around? What if a partner is required? How much do you love her to sacrifice your own turn-offs? You have sprung something big on her and now your fantasies are taking over with just the thought of her accepting it so your fantasies are taking control.

On the religion side, have her check out http://intodiapers.blogspot.com

It goes into alot of the issues we go through.

Your language makes me think you are not all that mature as a married couple and more of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing like most relationships. I think it is because you are so young. When you look back 10 years from now you will wonder why you couldn't explain yourself better and could've had your cake and ate it to.

For instance I presented diapers to my wife before we were married. I presented it as a real need. I was honest with myself and did not pose as though it was no big deal. I need diapers to get off the best. I also need her. So combine the two and I have the best sex ever. Now I grab a diaper before we have sex and she pretends to put it on me before we have sex. Some nights she will rub me in my diaper after I rub her. Diapers are a tool for better sex, because when I am happy sexually she is happy sexually and vice versa.

You are playing this all out like it is a game. Like you are worried about her telling other people. Like you have to compromise so you can get part of your way. The perspective is sure to end in disaster for both of you. She should want you to be happy and you should want her to be happy. So the problem is something much deeper than diapers. I sense a co-dependant relationship. One of you has an upper hand and lords it over the other and it sounds like her. There just seems to be lots of problems here. And standard Christians are not at all prepared to handle situations. Anything they don't deem as normal is grouped into sin, when in reality we are under a law of liberty. If you look for someone to condemn you you will find it. My advise. You are the expert on diapers. She should trust what you say about it. The only outside opinions her and you will get from vanillas will be "run". You just have to help her understand it better and as everyone is saying, Keep it SLOW.

SDB

[Guest dllightning]

a quick thank you to diapermommie and superdiaperbaby for your input. and a quick update.

As far as our marriage goes- we are two very different people, as in we would not match up on E-Harmony. We find our strengthening in overcoming each other's differences and loving each other regardless. Now, can you see where we are having problems with the diaper issues... we are at this standstill. I am doing everything I can to show my love for her in ways she accepts it (aka love language). She so far still kisses me, made love to me, snuggles with me, talks with me, you get the idea- But we are not talking about diapers.

small weird update- k my wife has been sick and using the potty alot lately. This morning I told her not to poop her pants (in a very funny way) she turned to me and in a sexy voice said "Why, you gonna spank me if I do" I about died... I was like "Who are you, and what did you do with my wife? I told her she needs to go get some coffee cause she sounding strange.

Now I think she did this just to mess with my past - if you keep on my blog you know what I am talking about. But I dont see this as a step of acceptance of diapers, but it did make me perk up my ears.

[beachxbunni123]

There's really nothing that you can do to make her like them, you cannot force her. You should have told her about this before you married her or realized that she might not even be into diapers. Since you married her while she wasn't aware about your diaper fetish, you're just going to have to live without them since she is your wife.

[sparkylites]

I'm so happy that you have been able to consider the advice people have been giving you. I know it's hard when it seems like people are criticizing your belief system. From what I have read, many people have been giving excellent advice. It seems you are moving away from judgment and toward acceptance. I hope that your wife can learn by your example and you can build more accepting relationship with each other, and more importantly, the rest of the world! It is inspiring.

My back story... About 6 months before my wife and I got married I came out as an DL. She was terrified, and considered ending our relationship. It was scary for me, but that's exactly why I chose to come out then. Our relationship was strong, but we didn't have a binding commitment. I didn't want her to feel trapped once she had married me, a "freak". It's unfortunate you weren't able to come out earlier, but you seem to be handling it well.

Now for my advise... Can you encourage her to speak with a therapist? Would you consider speaking to a therapist? Do it separately, with different therapists, so that you can have an individual experience. Your therapist can help you figure out all the issues going through your mind. Her therapist can help her understand your situation in a judgment free environment. Best of all, no-one you know will ever find out! My wife and I both saw psychologists last year, and we still talk about the things we learned about ourselves. It was all covered by our insurance!

I know many Christians will prefer to speak to their pastors for guidance, but that can lead to awkward situations. Many therapists are sensitive to religious beliefs, and may even incorporate some of them into your conversations.

I still struggle with the conflict wearing diapers around my wife creates. I still feel judged sometimes. She is trying her best, and I love her more for that. I know in my heart she wants me to be happy.

I'm sorry, I won't pray for you. I will think of you and hope the best for you. You deserve it.

[diapers4liz]

I'm sorry that your wife is not having an easy time with your liking diapers. I also admire the fact that you were honest and told her. I am married to a great guy who I love deeply, but I told him before we were married that I liked to wear diapers sometimes. I explained my reasoning to him, but he was not comfortable with the thought of his wife wearing diapers. This left me with a dilema; diapers or soon to be husband? I of course chose my husband to be. Before anyone starts offf with the "if he loved you, he'd accept you" response, I find such a response as both gratuitous and self serving. It seems that most people here put the onous on the non-diaper wearer to accept the other's fetish. Sorry to say this, but people have their own right to either accept or reject a fetish. If my husband wanted to give me a "yellow shower", do I have to accept such a thing to prove I love him? I think not. It may come down to a simple choice for you, which I had to face; do I choose an object over a great guy? Ever try to kiss or cuddle with a diaper?...lol...So I made the choice and guess what? The sun still rises in the east and I don't shed useless tears over diapers. Believe it or not, there is a happy life after diapers. Be well and I hope everything goes well for you in the end.

[sarah_ab]

i just haveto say i'm not sure DL telling his wife SHE needs to see a therapist is in any way going to be taken kindly by her.

she needs to see a therapist because she can't accept that her husband and the father of her two children suddenly tells her years after their marriage he gets off wearing diapers... how is her reaction warrenting a visit to a therapist?

I would suggest the husband seek a therapist to better understand how his wifes reaction is entire reasonable and how he has no right to force her to accept him.

If the husband cannot see or understand his wife's reaction, especially when he tells her when she is pregnant and going through her own emotional turmoil, then he is clearly not thinking in a conscientious or loving manner.

But i agree with diapers4liz, why is it the diaper wearers think the non diaper wearer has to be the one to change... why can't the diaper wearer be the one to change!

[curiositykilledthecat]

i just haveto say i'm not sure DL telling his wife SHE needs to see a therapist is in any way going to be taken kindly by her.

she needs to see a therapist because she can't accept that her husband and the father of her two children suddenly tells her years after their marriage he gets off wearing diapers... how is her reaction warrenting a visit to a therapist?

I would suggest the husband seek a therapist to better understand how his wifes reaction is entire reasonable and how he has no right to force her to accept him.

If the husband cannot see or understand his wife's reaction, especially when he tells her when she is pregnant and going through her own emotional turmoil, then he is clearly not thinking in a conscientious or loving manner.

But i agree with diapers4liz, why is it the diaper wearers think the non diaper wearer has to be the one to change... why can't the diaper wearer be the one to change!

5 out of 5!

[sparkylites]

Most people don't NEED to see a therapist. That is a common misunderstanding about the uses and benefits of a therapeutic relationship. In many cases, therapists just provide an outlet for discussion in a confidential setting.

I agree it wouldn't be easy to hear "you need to go to a therapist", therefore I wouldn't ever tell anyone that. I was lucky that my wife decided it would be better to consult with a therapist rather than talking with her mother or sister. She was the one who suggested it, and she did it for both of us. I guess this is just more proof of how lucky I actually am!

Counseling can be an excellent tool for anyone who needs to understand a problem, but doesn't know where to go. It's a good thing.