Remembering Heidi Lynn

[Angela Bauer]

Sorry I am just now able to stop weeping over Heidi to write about her.

Back in the dark ages of 1990 when my kid sister Missy and I attended a West Hollywood Halloween party in matching Onesies over real functioning diapers, we were greeted by a marvelous man named Chris Taylor. Since he is an attorney also we had much to talk about. Then when he learned Missy not only made our Onesies, she is a costume designer, Chris told us about an actor from Hair and other shows who was way into all this. That was Heidi. A few months later after I had started writing for DPF Tommy introduced me to Kent Perry by phone. A week later I was in NYC on a case and met both Kent and Heidi for dinner.

The following year Tommy of DPF arranged several AB to appear on a Phil Donahue episode. A few months later my husband Don Davis and I (using the name Jessica) were on Montel Williams along with another straight couple and two AB from Seattle. The day Heidi saw that she sent me a snail letter, that being before e-mail was practical. Later in 1992 Heidi was on Jerry Springer along with Denise Roma and Tommy.

Jerry Springer did not treat any AB with respect, yet Heidi managed to keep her cool and dignity. Yesterday morning I found a slightly defective VHS tape of Heidi on Springer. It still shows her dignity and ability to appear natural on TV. Of course that started me crying all over again.

Best of all Heidi inspired thousands of other ABDL of all varieties. She believed as I always have that in this community what we have in common is diapers. Therefore none of the minor differences is important. Some of us are incontinent, some are not. For some gender has always been clear, yet is confusing for many very nice folks. Heidi proved it is possible to live in ways that are comfortings without harming anyone else.

I join thousands of Heidi's friends expecting she is now in a beautiful better place.

Angela

[quabbaby]

Ever since I read the article about Heidilynn in the Phoenix several years ago I had wanted to contact her. Reading her posts I could tell she was very intelligent and well-spoken. I had so many questions for her about how to come to terms with being a diaper lover. I fantasized about meeting up with her and having a great discussion and coming away with not only a great deal of answers but with a friend as well. She seemed like she would be that type of person.

Though I never did get to meet her she has taught me at least one very important thing with her passing - don't put off 'til tomorrow what can be done today. It suppose that that is how she lived her life after she 'came out'.

I hope she knew of all the lives she touched of people whom she had never met. And finally, that she did make a difference.

I've chatted with her here in the past and really felt for her. She was truely an angle. This news has broughten tears to my eyes and will mourn her passing for a long time to come. It would have been a great honor to have been able to meet her. Its true that she was a great cornerstone for our community. She will be truely missed God rest your soul Heidilynn bye Quabbaby

[BriGuy]

I am still grappling with this loss. Heidi and I spoke often and she spent many a day letting me cry on her shoulders and giving me life advice. Not thinking I dialed her on my way home from work only to realize that there wont be an answer. My eyes are welling up as I write this. She was so good to me and so many others it's so depressing.

Duck, I too hope there will be a service. Her death is currently under investigation so I am sure that the funeral will be postponed. If you would like to car pool I hope to make the service.

~Brian

[Sissy Tami]

Investigation??

I hope no one suspects foul play (seriously no pun intended)

Ummm..I am leaving this Sunday and wont be back till the following Monday 2/8-2/16. services usually happen about 10 days or so after ummm....demise.

If nothing has happened by the time I get back, I will endeavor to make arrangements to attend what ever services are prepared, again....alloing that general public are invited.

I might take you up on that trip there Bri...or if time wont allow (work) I might have to fly....

either way, keep us up dated with what ever happens.

Thanks

qwack

There is an investigation ongoing but there is not a criminal investigation. Again I have very few details about what happened or even when it happened.

I am sorry that I have been so vague on these posts to the community. But as much as we would all like jsut a few answers I would hate to give false information. If there was a criminal investigation I would know about it becasue I am almost certain that I was the last person to see Heidi and I am reasonable certain that I was the last person to talk to her. That conversation happened on the 12th of Jan. I was back east at the time and did not get back in town until the following week. If there was susspicion of wrong doing I would certainly be being asked more questions. I have only had the one conversation with the officer in charge. But I have left messages hoping to get more information.

I had tried to make contact repeatedly on Heidi's cell phone and thru e-mail but got no response. I called the hospital to see if she was there but she was not. I tried again a couple of days latter on Heidi'd cell phone and a detective answerd the phone. He asked me a couple of questions about how well I knew Heidi and when the last time I saw or spoke to Her and if I knew any of her family. He did indicate to me that I was the first person that he had talked to who knew Heidi very well. I am certain that he had talked to some of the neighbors but Heidi did not have a lot of association with her heighbors so I doubt if he was able to get much infomation there.

I have not shared much because I did not have much to share and I did not want to speculate about what had happened.

I have the detectives name and the case # and I am working to find out as much as I can. I susspect that I will not find out much until the next of kin is notified and gives consent for information to be released.

It has caused me a great burden as I have wrestled with how to tell community about her death. I knew the community would be as sarrowed and upset about her passing as I was. But with little information to go on there is a great deal of speculation that could take place about what happend.

The best that we can do right now is hope that she did not suffer and try to remember her for the outstanding individual she was and for the great things that she did for each of us individualy and for the community.

Thanks again for your thoughts and concerns for Heidi Lynn,

Tami

[Inco24/7]

I didnt know Heidi Lynn personally like some of you here do, but I can say as others have I have seen and heard a lot about her work and the foundation she rooted in the community.

So sorry and sad to hear about such a tragic loss

My heart is with you all

Inco xx.

[timmyc]

Rest in peace Heidi Lynn

[BabyChris121675]

To be blatantly honest; I was not fond of the way Heidi Lynn lived her life especially after my nephews saw Heidi Lynn around Phoenix and my sister bitched about it. However, she has no idea I am AB or more specifically, was.

I will remember fondly that Heidi Lynn was a baseball fan, and loved the Arizona Diamondbacks and that we once got into a debate here at DD over my Indians and his 'snakes'; meaning Diamondbacks as he called them. I will remember that. I had problems with going around in a diaper, dressed as a baby girl as I could never have the courage to do so. Then again, I am not a sissy either.

My main beef was only cause my nephews saw him and well, it is hard to explain to a 9 year old and a 4 year old. My sister had a hell of a time with that one.

I am surprised it took people as long as it did to find the body. I have a link to an article from a newspaper in PHX about it.

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/bastard/2...ndsor_found.php

Dunnknow what to make of it. I was not fond of Heidi Lynn, but I will say this... I will miss a fellow fan of the greatest game ever, BASEBALL.

BabyChris121675

[Repaid1]

My goodness, I was enjoying the post in the paper till I got to specifics of the body...My goodness did it have to state it like that? So..So Very sad!!! Even DD got a shout out. I wonder how many hits we are going to get off of that? See even in Passing Heidi continues to grow this site..I miss ya little one.

[Sissy Tami]

My goodness, I was enjoying the post in the paper till I got to specifics of the body...My goodness did it have to state it like that? So..So Very sad!!! Even DD got a shout out. I wonder how many hits we are going to get off of that? See even in Passing Heidi continues to grow this site..I miss ya little one.

I had feared that this was the case but I though it in appropreate and less than dignified! I hope the next of Kin never sees this!

I was sorry to see this artical.

Tami

[Baby Bethany]

Too much information!! Wow you guys at the Phoenix Times.......really tactless.

Beth

[Vic]

I'm still going through the feelings of losing HeidiLynn, it just comes and goes in waves. I didn't talk to him as often as I used to, but I'd tried his home and cell, and getting no reply feared the worst.

This was because he hadn't answered any mail from me for awhile.

I thought he might be back in the hospital, really hoped he was, but that wasn't the case. To read this article just makes everything so final, and to hear that she was there for weeks just seems so sad, because HeidiLynn was such a good person.

The loss is one that every AB/DL will notice, because HeidiLynn was definately an original. She lived life her way, one day she said "I'm a baby girl" (not an easy choice to make, just think about what you'd be facing from John Q!), and that was it. The life choice for him wasn't an easy one, and took some time, but he felt it was the only way to be true to himself, so HeidiLynn was born.

Love her or hate her HeidiLynn said "take me as I am", I don't know what else to say about her, except that I already miss her.

God rest you HeidiLynn.

Vic

[Saschadzg]

Too much information!! Wow you guys at the Phoenix Times.......really tactless.

Beth

Nothing new of the press to ridicule transgenders of any kind. And shame to the neighbors who did not care earlier. I am glad that I do not live alone therefore I am safe against negligence due to transphobie.

I had nice caring neighbors, too, who run to church every sunday, but did not call the emergency rescue, when I collapsed during a hot sommer night after emptying the carbage can outside. Luckily I survived without help, just had minor brain trauma.

May Heidi Lynn rest in peace.

Babygirl Kvetinka from Germany

[NewdudeDL]

I really didn't get to know Heidilynn very much more than one post and a pm she sent me. I've looked at those posts several times in the past few days, and while I may have forgotten about the words she shared with me between now and then, I now remember how valuable and insightful I found her advice at the time, and even now.

My Catholic side suggests Heidi is in heaven, though my Buddhist side hopes she's now the Bodhisattva of AB/DLs. Either one is perfect for her, and I wont forget the words she shared with me.

[adriansurley]

Wow that news story is very sarcastic sounding.

[sarah_ab]

I have not read the news article yet, but based on the responses, it does not sound good.

I wouls suggest a MASS mailing to the letter to the editor page of the news paper, with everyone who feels comfortable and who knew heidi to write to the editor exclaiming not only their disgust with the article, but correcting the fact that heidi was and is and will always be missed by those who TRUELY knew her, loved her, understood her, and accepted her uncondionally.

[Sissy Tami]

I have not read the news article yet, but based on the responses, it does not sound good.

I wouls suggest a MASS mailing to the letter to the editor page of the news paper, with everyone who feels comfortable and who knew heidi to write to the editor exclaiming not only their disgust with the article, but correcting the fact that heidi was and is and will always be missed by those who TRUELY knew her, loved her, understood her, and accepted her uncondionally.

This is a great idea. I will look and see if there is an e-mail address and or snail mail address where these can be sent.

I found out earlier today that the next of kin has not yet been notified. I shutter to think that this artical which was not all bad but cetainly had parts of it that were in poor taste would be how her family found out about his/her demise!

there is no integrity left in the media.

Thanks,

Tami

[Vic]

I haven't used emoticons in this thread because, for me, they just seem too insufficiant to express my feelings here.

The first time I heard of "babyman" I hopped on my moral high horse and layed into him. It was something I found out that I was wrong about, and I opened up my eyes. As I thought more about a guy coming fully out of the closet, I really had to take a step back and say "wow, that really takes balls".

Here was a person so determined to live life true to himself, that he risked everything, risked being a social outcast, someone the cops would stop everytime he stepped out his own door, someone who people might openly harass, that no-one would even LIKE.

And well he dared to do it, damn the torpedoes, and full steam ahead! Yes there were those that didn't care for him, but (to his surprise ), a lot of people ( most in fact ) reacted positively to his life choice. HeidiLynn was my hero for that.

I could never do what she did when she laid William Windsor to rest and was reborn, although I had always wondered what it would be like to do that. Come completely out for life, period. People might ridicule me, I might get arrested for indecent exposure ( of what I don't know, I mean if you're in a diaper, plastic pants, a onesie, shoes, etc, just what are you guilty of exposure of? ), no, I couldn't do that, I wasn't THAT brave, okay?

So I started getting to know HeidiLynn, and found a very caring sissy baby, who loved life. I talked quite a bit with her back then, I heard about the interview the local news did with her, I read what the paper had to say about their interview with HeidiLynn, and for the most part all of this seemed to go okay.

People did react in more of a positive manner than what I suspected they might. I'll tell you why they did, they did because HeidiLynn was so open and upbeat about life. When they laughed she laughed with them, she knew that it was absurd to see a big sissy like her, but she always remembered that LIFE is absurd, and she didn't take herself too seriously.

That was what I could never overcome. and I admire her for it. Life to me is too damn serious for me to go and laugh at myself ( and I really should too ). Instead I let depression and paranioa drag me down making me no different than the "normal" man.

Where HeidiLynn went I couldn't follow, I was too damn afraid to be anything other than "normal", I did want to see her though, and on one of my trips out west we were going to meet up, but she had some problems at home she had to work out so we put it off for another trip sometime, a sometime that regretfully will never come.

I always wondered how self conscious I would feel being out with her a a bar somewhere downing some cool brews. I always thought that at first it would feel akward, but I felt that once we'd been there for a bit I'd lose that paranioa, at least I hoped I'd have been man enough for that. I never got to find out, and that saddens me.

Duck you've got that right, WTF, how can somebody possibly be that callous? How could they objectify her into an oddity such as that. The stories the news did of "babyman" weren't at all like this terrible article of her death. SHE WAS A PERSON!!! Once you've gone out like she did and did the interviews when they asked her to doesn't mean that you are now fair game for any writer to target.

That guy is so crass that he never cared about what those of us who knew HeidiLynn would feel from this type of reporting. HEIDILYNN WAS A DAMN GOOD PERSON!! She didn't deserve to be treated like Brittany Spears! HeidiLynn has family, just like anybody else, and she has friends, just like anybody else. How would you feel if this article were about YOUR death, and your FRIENDS and FAMILY were to read this?

I feel that this treatment of HeidiLynn is horrible, and that all of us here can't help but feel appalled that someone could treat one of this communities member like that. I hope that someone there in Phoenix might write an obituary there more befitting the true HeidiLynn, the great sissy baby that we all knew and loved.

Again, all I can say is that this is WRONG, it is terrible that they would treat her this way.

May God love you HeidiLynn.

Vic

[Guest YkDave]

R.I.P

Never actually knew heidi (i dont know why i do, but i really try to keep this fetish on the back burner) but from the sounds of it he/she was a very influential part of the ABDL scene. makes me wish i did get the chance to talk to or even just share a few emails with heidilynn.

I cannot believe the lack of respect from the reporter on that story, that was just plain ol BS right there. Like c'mon, put your own damn differences aside and have some f'n respect for the person that just passed away, f'n outrageous, i hope that reporter gets chit kicked and spit on...

[adriansurley]

That news story is really depressing. Nobody and my mean nobody's passing should be talked about in such a way. Whatever happened to respect for the passed. Very disrespectful article.

[Vic]

Thanks Duck, that helps a little. And thanks to Tami for being there too, actually thanks to everyone who has taken the time to remember HeidiLynn as the person she was. We all share in a great loss.

Vic

[boy ricky]

I think hiedi lynn was a very special person. I never met her not knew of her prior to 2006. I expect that her coming out so to speak has helped a great number of people. I had sent her a supporting message a year or so ago. It had to be tough to do as she did and liberating as well.

my condolences to her friends

[Marcus23]

It sad to see someone go who did so much paving the way for younger people who enjoy diapers.

I never meet or talked to her but she sounds like a great person. I want to thank Hiedi for all the work to bring the ab/dl lifestyle to people attention and for all the help she did for other

[crys_138]

She'll be missed. She reminded me a lot of some of the "characters" we used to have here in New Orleans. Hell, I would have been honored to take her to Mardi Gras. She would have loved it, I think.

May she find in the next life what she strove for in this one.

[Sissy Tami]

She'll be missed. She reminded me a lot of some of the "characters" we used to have here in New Orleans. Hell, I would have been honored to take her to Mardi Gras. She would have loved it, I think.

May she find in the next life what she strove for in this one.

Heidi and I had talked about a trip to NO for Mardi Gra, I wish we had the chance to go but it was not ment to be.

I might take you up on it though if you are intrested in company for the event(s).

Tami

[Guest christopheraz]

i only registered to this site because of this story. i had the great pleasure of meeting Heidi Lynn at the grocery store one morning. I took photos and really found a special sweet person. Kind Honest and genuine. I am startled, horrified, and yet at peace in some strange way for this gentle soul. Please know how heart felt my response to this is and that I for one consider myself fortunate for having met Heidi Lynn.

Christopher Dupont de Nemours