How Hard Is It To Find An Accepting Spouse

[toddmdl]

I was curious to hear from the other members about how hard it is to find a spouse that is alright and accepting of the diaper fetish? I read too many accounts of people having to keep it secret from their spouse because of what they'll do and I've heard others about the spouses actually going ballistic and the relationship being ruined over something so trivial. I would like the woman of my choice to be accepting and even willing to participate, with compromise if necessary but I don't want to live a life of secrecy and having to indulge in my own privacy from my own wife. I was just interested to see how many people have spouses that are accepting and willing to participate and how hard it truly is to find someone like that?

[Repaid1]

Well I've told this story over and over. I met my wife three years ago and told her on the third date, she's been the best "mommie" so far. I told my first wife, she accepted it too. I've told about 20 different people, girlfriends or just friends that became sitters or "mommies". Never had a problem. I think it is who you tend to surround yourself with, or more than likely the type of person that you will attract. I've had some bad things happen after the fact but the thing I have always found is I have yet to meet a woman who didn't accept it, maybe one, but I didn't push the issue with her and we were together off and on three years. She knew I wore just didn't want any part of the mommy thing, other than knowing I always had a diaper on. I guess it's just me, but I have always had great luck.

[Sophie ♥]

I made it a point that, since my AB and sissy sides were such a big part of my life... to tell Mommy every detail about me before we began dating. I started out small of course... my bedwetting. Apparently she wet the bed until she was 12 or 13, and wore goodnites till that time. It made me feel a lot better. Then it old her about my pacifier, she called it cute and wanted to see me with it. After two to three weeks she knew i liked diapers, she knew i liked dresses, and she wanted to see me all dressed up. I remember laying on my bed on top of her kissing... wearing a pullup... and i tried getting up... and she asked where i was going... and i said i needed to use the restroom. She hold me on her, we kept kissing, and she said to just go. It wasn't that easy. I had never intentionally wet myself laying down before... and it was far more difficult than i thought. We kept kissing for a half hour or so... and she had to go. The second i got off her, i intended to run to the bathroom... but the second i stood up i had to go too bad, so i ended up wet. She pulled my pants down, called me adorable, and kissed me goodbye. She didn't end up changing me into and out of diapers until a week or two later, but my point is... if your diaper side is really that important to you, i'd recommend telling someone before you become too serious... but make sure she's not the type to yell it across the world.

-Sophie

[DiaperBigBoy]

I'm just honest with my girlfriend, I tell her everything, the biggest thing is when you lie and keep secrets some woman are better at keeping secrets and others aren't. You just gotta know who you can tell and who you can't. Also, so people are more excepting then it too others. My girlfriend is cool with it, just doesn't want to participate

[diaperboyMKE]

Accept, yes. Participate.. no.

Mine's cool with it, but doesn't want to get in on it at all. So for us, it's not sexual. Well for her is isn't.

[drynot]

I would suggest to anyone looking for an ACCEPTING partner to check out local fetish clubs or places of that nature. You might have better luck finding someone to share your baby side with if you are willing to accept their BDSM side...or their furry side...or their kinky side....

My point is that you need to find like minded individuals. You might not find someone to share your life with and you might not be able to find a fetish club or something similar in your location but know that not all women out there are vanilla and they might have something they want you to accept too

[diaperwearntigger]

I think you have to do whatever works for you....

For myself, I vowed to not find someone outside of the diaper scene. Once I figured out that I wanted a daddy and that i wanted to be in diapers at times, I decided to find only someone that was into the scene. It is much easier for us girls to find someone though..... During my exploration of being an AB/diapers, I was sort of seeing someone, he was very supportive, didn't mind seeing me in my diapers, even bought me things, but, just wasn't wiling to be much of a participate... I think after that experience, is when I decided to find someone into the scene....

So... my story goes like this... joined a chatroom on yahoo that was for abdl (no longer exists....sad)..... and tried out different daddies....but none of them really worked out... thats when I realized that i was searching for a 'daddy' instead of a partner.... I took some time back, and got some things right in my life... and well.....found the person I knew I was going to be with the rest of my life. We met in the chatroom, with neither one of us expecting anything from the other except for friends. We talked many months before we even tried the daddy/baby thing.... We will be celebrating our first anniversary in October.....

It definitely helps to find someone into the scene. He is a DL/daddy.... but even when you find someone into the scene, you still need to focus on the adult side of your relationship and view your diapers as a bonus.... not a lot of people do that... And even though you both are participatants in the diapers, there is still a lot to learn about each other's like, dislikes, kinks that involves diapers....

Like I said, I think you need to decide what is best for you, what you like, and not settle for anything else. When the time is right, that right person will come along. Don't go looking for love because you always tend to look for it in the wrong places and with the wrong people....and yes.. I am speaking from years of experience.

[wars]

hi toddmdl, hope i got that right.

someone said about fetish clubs yes to this but you may have to traval. For example, I have seen one on the innternet in London,I live in Manchester some 200miles away. them the feeling of not kwoning what to expect. and sould i go alone? though you have the old saying go and be damed Its only one night and all that. the other way is to use webs like this and hope you are saying the right thing. no thats not right just be herself and don't try to be someone are not.

[Sophie ♥]

Yeah, honestly you're a lot better off trying to find someone online to do this stuff with rather than locating someone and hope they are willing to participate. I got lucky... and even now Mommy and I dont exactly click half the time. I'd look around some boards and stuff. May be your best bet. Tragically... Mommies and Daddies aren't as frequent on the boards as babies.

-Sophie

[timmyc]

My now ex wife, while confused at first was very accepting and participated. She was a good mommy, but much preferred to wear herself rather than being the mommy. She was very into it when we were together. We split over other things. We both promised to never tell certain secrets about each other to anyone. I have Introduced three women to the world of diapers and have never had a bad reaction.

[Sophie ♥]

This site is just full of lucky boys.

-Sophie

[Three Rivers]

I had been married for over 13yrs before I decided to start wearing. I just brought it up in a conversation one day, that I wouldn't mind trying something different. She was very accepting and stated that "it's your thing and if that's what you want go for it". Well many years later she has changed me hundreds of time and we have enjoyed other activities as well. If you have a good loving relationship with open communication, I believe all can be worked out. Just my two cents.

[Repaid1]

This site is just full of lucky boys.

-Sophie

Nope...Just the really nice little boys!

I learned alot from my Grandmother (miss ya grams) That a woman will give you unconditional love, If you give her the same first. Trust and Love are the strongest part of any relationship!

My Grandmother was the first one to ever find my diapers, never said a word about it. Bet she is smiling at me now!

[Baby Bethany]

I've been with my wife for 17 years, so when I was dating there were no Internet sites like this, so I just dated in the regular way by meeting non scene girls in bars and clubs etc. I didn't tell most of these girls, and have in fact only ever told two. These were my live in gf (who dumped me) and my wife (who is now into this.)

It's not easy to meet a like minded partner, or indeed to even approach the subject with one, but the only other option is to live a lie, and that is soul destroying.......trust me, don't even go there!

You could try and meet someone through the fetish scene, but this will really narrow the field and even then they may find this repulsive. After all, just because they like one fetish it doesn't mean they're up for anything. It will also cancel out the people like my wife, who although not into any fetish themselves, may get into this if we give them the oppertunity to take part.

Good luck

Beth

[drynot]

It is a really thin rope we walk. The majority of the women I have dated have no idea that I wear diapers. I wet the bed so you can see how far I got with them. Anyway you can beat your head against the wall and be lonely for the rest of your life or you can be proactive about it. Finding women who are into kink is far easier than finding a woman who is exclusively into diapers.

Getting to know someone really really well is probably the best way to do it. I mean a woman who is shallow and kinda into that whole 'california girl' type thing might not be the best one to ask to change you when you are wet. Nurses or home care aides might be out as well as they usually have to deal with some form of incontinence already and they won't want to deal with it in their personal lives. You can see where I am going with this here.

Most women out there want a guy who is going to protect and provide for them. Not many women are going to be willing to let you 'sissy' out from time to time. Just look at the booming business that some of these BDSM Dommes and adult babysitters are doing.

It also depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for as well. Do you want to be the caregiver or the caregivee? Love goes a long way but I wouldn't expect my wife to change my diapers on a regular basis if I was fully capable of doing it myself. Sure I would WANT her to do it and not resent it but eventually the whole scene would wear thin. Its give and take too here guys. If you want her to do something for you, make sure you are willing and able to repay her in kind. That doesn't mean that you are willing to change her diaper, most guys into this scene would, but take her to dinner, shopping, etc,etc....

Don't make her feel guilty about NOT doing it either. Don't play the "I did this for you, so you do this for me" game. Sometimes you might have to be satisfied with doing the whole thing yourself without her involvement. It sucks but that's the way it goes sometimes.

I still stand by my original thought. If you want a woman who is into this scene or might be willing to participate then you need to find a fetish club or find a fetish online dating service. Kinky girls are more willing to entertain your desires than vanilla ones.

[WDCA]

I've had three serious relationships and in each of them I told my girlfriend. I usually wait until we're in love and I really know the person. If you're dating someone who is kind and understanding the diapers won't be a problem. But just because they accept it doesn't mean they'll want to participate. In one case, she accepted it and tried wearing a couple times but just wasn't interested. It was like that with a lot of my other interests, so it wasn't a surprise. But she'd still diaper me before I went to bed and never complained. Another girlfriend I told was curious and wanted to try them herself. It became something special that we did together and she loved doing it because it made me happy.

You just have to get to know the person. If they're uptight and shallow, they might freak out on you. If they're kind and understanding and they love you, they'll probably accept your diapers as long as they don't rule your life.

I definitely think about these qualities when I date girls. If I think they're very level headed and understanding, I stick around. If I think they're the kind of girl who'd freak out about my diapers, I find there's usually incompatibilities in our personality type. It's convenient that I'm attracted to the kind of girls who are accepting.

Now I speak from the perspective of a DL. If you're looking for a full time Mommy or something much more involved it's going to be more difficult.

[Repaid1]

It is a really thin rope we walk. The majority of the women I have dated have no idea that I wear diapers. I wet the bed so you can see how far I got with them. Anyway you can beat your head against the wall and be lonely for the rest of your life or you can be proactive about it. Finding women who are into kink is far easier than finding a woman who is exclusively into diapers. I actually used that as a reason (at First) to wear diapers around my "girls" (bedwetting or Inco)

Getting to know someone really really well is probably the best way to do it. I mean a woman who is shallow and kinda into that whole 'california girl' type thing might not be the best one to ask to change you when you are wet. Nurses or home care aides might be out as well as they usually have to deal with some form of incontinence already and they won't want to deal with it in their personal lives. I actually have found that these are the most caring and understanding, First wife was a RN, three of my sitters were home health, one other was LPN.

You can see where I am going with this here. Maybe on the first but are you saying California girl is like High maintenance or Ego tripped?

Most women out there want a guy who is going to protect and provide for them. Not many women are going to be willing to let you 'sissy' out from time to time. I must disagree to a extent, all of mine have actually got a thrill from the role reversal..let's face it married to a Marine, leaves little doubt about your Manly side, it gives them some type of power trip, or even a softer side that ALOT of women (my 20 or so) like to see in a man.

Just look at the booming business that some of these BDSM Dommes and adult babysitters are doing. It ain't that Booming to be really honest. Less than a few percent of our community, I think it's mostly the same ones..over and over.

It also depends on what kind of relationship you are looking for as well. Do you want to be the caregiver or the caregivee? Love goes a long way but I wouldn't expect my wife to change my diapers on a regular basis if I was fully capable of doing it myself. I agree but my wife feels it's her responsibility in small way, but then again I'm Inco and a AB. Sure I would WANT her to do it and not resent it but eventually the whole scene would wear thin. Hasn't done that in my experience, actually it evolves Its give and take too here guys. If you want her to do something for you, make sure you are willing and able to repay her in kind. That doesn't mean that you are willing to change her diaper, most guys into this scene would, but take her to dinner, shopping, etc,etc....

IF it does hold some sexual condition's..make sure she is overly satisfied as well

Don't make her feel guilty about NOT doing it either. Don't play the "I did this for you, so you do this for me" game. Sometimes you might have to be satisfied with doing the whole thing yourself without her involvement. It sucks but that's the way it goes sometimes. SO TRUE!!!!

I still stand by my original thought. If you want a woman who is into this scene or might be willing to participate then you need to find a fetish club or find a fetish online dating service. Kinky girls are more willing to entertain your desires than vanilla ones. Never dated in the Fetish sector all 20 something of mine were as Vanilla as could be..not even whip cream!!

[babytommy1981]

MY GF soon to be wife, has like me wearing my diapers since i told her. she understands why i need to wear them. its not just for sexual pleasure that only when she is my mommie, as im not a full AB. even though she calls me her big baby boy, any way she nows i have a weak bladder and bowl control. I can hold it for maybe 5 - 10 mins when my body tells me i have to go. anylonger and iI'm going if i like it or not. so instead of ruching to find a bathroom i wear diapers. it better to find a place to change then try to make it and not make it. when we are out she carries a big bag witch is her normal everyday bag. and she also puts my extra diapers, baby powder and diaper rash ointment plus my baby wipes, and for the really messy ones we have those wetones towles. when in pubilc if i do go and poeple start to look over at us she is the type of person that will tell you were to go.

meaning once she heard some one say i think that guy crapped him self. she turns around and said how would you like if you had a medical problem.

she is the best girl i could ever ask for in my life. not only going to be my new wife, but my best friend and my part time mommy.

[drynot]

I based my comments on about the nurses and homecare aids mostly on comments from my relatives. I have a few in the medical field. My wife is a paramedic. Her sister is a nurse. My brother in law is a home care worker. My aunt is a nurse in a old folks home. Their main complaint about their jobs is incontinent folks and dealing with diapers. It just isn't a pleasant experience.

[Repaid1]

I based my comments on about the nurses and homecare aids mostly on comments from my relatives. I have a few in the medical field. My wife is a paramedic. Her sister is a nurse. My brother in law is a home care worker. My aunt is a nurse in a old folks home. Their main complaint about their jobs is incontinent folks and dealing with diapers. It just isn't a pleasant experience.

Yeah, I can see it for sure in some fields of Health Care. I do actually think that if it a person doesn't like their job they should pursue other avenues. I'm sure it can't be too pleasant in most cases, but to me it should be something that they know couldn't be helped and it give them a sense of pride knowing that they are helping someone. I know that's a bit old fashioned, but isn't the health field for just that?

Luckily my First wife was in the NICU, so I was just another little baby that needed a diaper change, then again, I didn't leave any surprises in there either.

[teen_nappy]

Going to an earlier post...I think it is much easier for a woman to find a parnter then it is for a man... this maybe completely wrong but that's the way I view it...I had a partner who accepted my ways but unfortunately I was too much of a work a holic for her and she slipped through my fingers.

[Repaid1]

Going to an earlier post...I think it is much easier for a woman to find a parnter then it is for a man... this maybe completely wrong but that's the way I view it...I had a partner who accepted my ways but unfortunately I was too much of a work a holic for her and she slipped through my fingers.

Her loss dude! Chin up, keep working..Money buys the Diapers!

[teen_nappy]

and brum brum cars!!

[curiositykilledthecat]

okay, if the woman isn't into the ab scene then asking her to change a diaper chockful of cosby kids isn;t going to be her bag.(sorry, I know...bad reference) Now getting a gril to accept a diaper fetish, I'd guess that making it an enjoyable expereince would be the way to go, which means no surprises. She may come around if that's your bag, but she may not. You have to respect her wishes.

[Baby Bethany]

I think my best advice would be to be honest. Girls like honesty, and if you're hiding something, well then there must be something wrong with it or you wouldn't be hiding it.

I've never had any trouble with partners cause I'm upfront about it. Once they get to know I am a kind person, I start filling them in. Never had any trouble. Worst reaction I got was "Well that's weird, but I can't see that being harmful. Just make sure you're nice and clean when we get as far as getting intimate, OK"

I agree, don't approach it along the lines of "I have this weird problem I want to tell you, I can't help it, blah, blah, blah." If you tell the person it's weird they will probably agree with you. Try and keep it positive, like it's no big problem.

Beth