Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'humiliaton'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Latest News and Updates
    • Latest News
  • Diaper Talk
    • Newbie Nursery
    • Scoop The Poop
    • Our Lifestyle Discussion
    • [DD] Surveys
    • Incontinence - Medical
    • Rainbow Diapers
    • Story and Art Forum
    • Photos
    • Roleplay
    • Product Reviews and Info
    • Diapers in the News
    • Links and Announcements
    • In and Out Board
  • Connect
    • The Rest of your Life!
    • Meeting Place
    • Game Time
  • Trading Post
    • The Diaper Store - Shopping
    • ABDL FreeCycle
    • Other Stuff For Sale/Trade
  • Support
    • DailyDiapers Tech Support
    • Questions And Answers
    • Friends and Family
    • Restlessfox's Depression Discussion
    • ABDL Memorial
  • Other Fetishes
    • General
    • Spanking
    • Bondage
    • Watersports
  • Clubby McClubFace's British Gossip
  • Big Kids Room's Topics
  • Infant School's Let's talk ...
  • Music Producers Club's Topics
  • Diaper Disciplined's Double Diapers and More...
  • Ab/dl LBGT diapers's Topics
  • For us who are turned on by diapers's Write something about yourself, so we can get to know each other!
  • spankings-4-all's Topics
  • spankings-4-all's ABDL spanking and punishments
  • dutchdiapers's Heya allemaal :) Stel je voor!
  • The hated ones's What's it like?
  • Big but getting Smaller!'s Topics
  • abdl west Yorkshire (uk)'s Topics
  • BabyFurs & DiaperFurs's Roleplaying
  • BabyFurs & DiaperFurs's Games
  • BabyFurs & DiaperFurs's Topics
  • For all Canadiens's Hi
  • Minecraft Daycare's Topics
  • "Nerd" Is The Word's Topics
  • AB/DL Support Group's Topics
  • Veteran Abdls's Was it hard to hide
  • Veteran Abdls's Topics
  • Diaper lovers from Scandinavia's Topics
  • Diaper Messers's Introduce Yourself
  • Diaper Messers's Favorite Fantasy in messy diapers
  • Diaper Messers's favorite diaper you use for messes
  • Diaper Messers's favorite activity for with a messy diaper
  • ABDLs of the southwest region's Hello
  • Melbourne Meetups's Welcome Melburnians
  • Melbourne Meetups's Melbourne Meetups
  • Infant littles's Discussion board about everything to do with this age and space.
  • PNW ABDL's MONTHLY MUNCHES
  • PNW ABDL's INTRODUCE YOURSELF
  • Sweet Diaper Smells n Dreams's favorite Diaper smells
  • Sweet Diaper Smells n Dreams's Favorite Diaper Dreams or Fantasy(s)
  • Sweet Diaper Smells n Dreams's Diaper face sitting
  • Upstate NY ABDL's's Topics
  • Hiking/Camping Meet Ups's Topics
  • Those Who Love Plastic Pants's Topics
  • Wearing, layering, and exposing diapers and plastic pants's Topics
  • Wearing girls panties's What are your favorite panties to wear?
  • Baby Dragons's Topics
  • Those ABDL's into Sports Cars's Whatcha running
  • Inflatables and diapers's Topics
  • ABDL Atlantic Canada's Moncton NbB
  • ABDL Atlantic Canada's Topics
  • ABDL Atlantic Canada's Topics
  • Southern Region and Surrounding ABDL's Hello
  • Southern Region and Surrounding ABDL's Lounge
  • Illinois ABDL's Welcome!
  • Utah Diaper Wearers's Topics where are you from?
  • Becoming a Bedwetter still dry in day time's Did I wet during sleep ?
  • Becoming a Bedwetter still dry in day time's Can hypnosis help ?
  • Becoming a Bedwetter still dry in day time's Training tips
  • Robert Jans adult Baby's TopicsRobert Jans adult Baby
  • SOUTH EAST KENT UK AB ABDL DL's Topics
  • Brazilian Diaper Lovers (Brasileiros DLs)'s Tópicos
  • BiggerLittles Bouncers's Bouncer Talk
  • Customizing Your Diapers's Customizing Contour Diapers
  • Customizing Your Diapers's Customizing Diaper Function
  • Customizing Your Diapers's Customizing PUL diapers
  • South Africa DL club's Topics
  • AZ ABDL Social Sanctuary's Topics
  • Braces Club's Topics

Product Groups

  • E-Books
  • Memberships
  • Advertising
  • Videos
  • Collectables

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


Website URL


Location


Real Age


Age Play Age

  1. Julie was running as fast as she can from the party that her friend hosted that got busted by cops. She found a window open in a quiet house that looked like nobody was home. After landing in it. Julie decides she will spend the night here. She was a little buzzed still from the drinks she had. Julie sat down then layed her head against some what she thought were pillows. She then picked one up and said "Wait a second these arnt pillows they are diapers! Just what I need! What is this place?" Julie puts on the thick diaper which perfectly. She then stands up and looks at the childish design room, crib, and closet full of clothes. Julie surprised "Oh a daycare! Makes sense and look here we have some cute clothes! They look like they will fit perfectly on me!" Julie then puts on a pink flower skirt overalls that barely covered her diaper. Then looked in the mirror and said "oh yea looking good. Fifty flavors of cute right here". Julie then feels her bladder needing released then let's it all out in her diaper "oh I'm totally filling my diaper up. Is this what freedom feels like!" Julie then grabs her wet soggy diaper and starts rubbing it "oh what's this! Oh my this feels so good. So squishy and warm. I might...uh...hmmm.. oh my I'm such a naughty girl" Julie then gets super tired and falls asleep. Julie then wakes up but finds her diaper clean. Confused who had changed it. The window has been locked. "Whoever changed me must have locked the window. How do I get out of here!" She then looks at a tall window typed door. Julie sees a lock and chain on the other side. She starts to get on her tipy toes to try and unlock it but shes way to short to reach it! She trys to yell out for help but no use. Julie sees a mommy like women enter the door way then yells out "Hey there must be some mistake I'm not really a child. I know how it looks but someone changed me already. I don't belong here and..." Julie then pauses and see a officer come in with the women. The women says "sorry I can't be anymore help officier". The officer then says "well if you do see her let me know". The women picks up Julie then says "What do you need darling?". As Julie is picked up. She wets herself from the officier standing right by holding his radio. Julie trys to play along till officier leaves. She then says in babyish tone "I need diapie changed!" The officer then looks at Julie and says to women "she looks a little big for diapers don't you think?". As the women lays down Julie on the changing table and opens her wet diaper "yea but don't let that fool you she deffinatly does need them. This is her third diaper change today! Isn't that right little stinker. Ran right through her little tummy didn't it? Do you need fed some more sweetie?". As Julie gets up from her diaper change she is super hungry. Julie then says "yes oh my god I'm starving. I mean... baby very hungwy." The officier still a little confused then says "you sure she's not to old. To me she looks to big to be in daycare much less nurse on a boob." Then Julie confused and in her head said to herself "Wait did he say.... nurse on a boob" then Julie sees the women put her huge boob right in Julie's face. Then the women says "your meals already cupcake" The women picks up Julie then the officier says "well your the expert but gosh.. kids these days" the women then pushes her boob closer to Julie's mouth with Julie having a super shocked look on her face and can't believe what she's about to have her do. Then the women smiles and says "they look so mature don't they?" Julie then having to play along starts sucking on the women's boob and starting to feel the milk enter her mouth then start to drip off her face. The women then says "it's all that fast food chemicals and formula they grow up on. Little girls need the real thing" As Julie kept drinking she felt her bowls release. A huge amount of poo entered her diaper. From all the drinks she drank it was super slushie and mushy. The diaper sagged super low in her humiliating situation. The officier then smells the horrible present she made in her diaper then says "that's my cue to leave". The women smiles and says "that's right sweetie get it all out" After Julie's humilating situation. The women then starts changing her diaper. "Peeyeew looks like my girl left me a big present in her diaper. We got to cut back on that big girl food and get you back on baby food" After Julie's diaper change she sees the clip board to sign out of nursery and tells the women "Hey so thank you for the diaper change and all. It looks like it's closing time so il just sign myself out". The women then snatches the clip board "oh I don't think so. Your coming home with me. Il take good care of you before somebody comes to claim you". Julie shocked "oh that's really not necessary" as Julie said that the women swooped up Julie and carried her in her arms and said "but you need a mommy to change your diapers and I got every size diaper imaginable. You can stay in my nursery. It was getting lonely with just me and my cats. The nursery is built for someone my size but your big for your age anyway" As the women walked outside with Julie to her car. Julie confused "big for my age? But I'm not a baby". The women waved to officers "evening officers. Ever find that college girl?". The officier said "no but don't worry ma'am. As per your request we will be stationed here till she shows up" The women smiled then said to Julie "did you hear that? Were going to have a fun time together... for a long time!" After arriving at the woman's home. Julie was carried into the home then up into the nursery room. To Julie's surprise it was a full adult size nursery just fit for her age. The woman then pulled down the crib bars and placed Julie inside then pulled the bars up trapping her inside. It was impossible to escape. Julie wasn't able to hop over or anything. Then the woman quickly shot her with a needle that weaken Julie. Julie's legs failed and she landed on her diaper butt. Only able to crawl around on her hands and knees. "Please let me out. I'm not a baby! I demand to be let go" Julie yelled out. The woman smiled then plopped a pacifier in Julie's mouth. "Now now cupcake your to young to make decisions. Also if I recall the cops are still looking for you. So you can either spend your time in a dirty old prison or stay here as my baby girl. Now which sounds better?" Said the woman. Julie then thought twice. She knew prison would be horrible. So if she had to pick anything I guess it's being this mommy's baby girl. Julie then says in babyish tone "stay with mommy". The woman then smiled. "Good girl. Now lets go over the rules. You will use your diaper for poopie and pee pee. No exceptions. You will call me mommy and mommy will decide when to change your diaper. You will also be breastfed and given a nice baby food diet. If you complain or act bad I will be giving you a good spanking over my knee or even a warm enema to fill your diaper. Since you tried yelling at mommy it's time for a spanking" Julie's new mommy grabbed her from the crib then put Julie over her knee. Then pulled her diaper down and spanked away. "Ow ow ow" SPANK SPANK SPANK. Julie's butt started turning red and she started crying. Mommy then pulled up her diaper and hugged her. "Sorry mommy had to do that but sometimes naughty girls need to be taught a lesson" The woman then slid her hand down the back of Julie's diaper and pushed her finger up Julie's butthole. Julie felt something go up. "Mommy what did you put up my butt" Julie asked. Julie's mommy put her back in the crib "don't worry about it sweetie you'll find out in the morning" Julie then fell fast asleep from the long day. She then woke up and smelled something really bad. "Ewww gross what's that smell? Did I just fart without knowing?" Julie then layed up on her butt and felt something yucky and mushy spread and smear against her buttcheeks and privates. "Noo noo noo I couldn't have! I just pooped my diaper in my sleep! This isn't happening! I'm not some dumb baby" Julie's mommy walks in the room "well good morning sweetie. Uh oh I think I smell someone made a big stinky poopy in her diaper. It's ok sweetie your just a baby you can't control yourself. I think someone also needs some feeding little stinker" The mommy then grabs Julie and heads to the rocking chair. Then places Julie's dirty diaper butt on her knee squishing all the poop again against Julie's butt. The mommy unbuttons her bra. And then grabs Julie's dirty diaper butt with her hand and then pushes her forward. Making Julie suck on her boob. Julie disgusted couldn't do much. All she could do is just suck and hope that her new mommy will change her diaper. The mommy just rocked her back and forth smushing Julie's dirty diaper butt.
  2. This is my first time posting here. This is a story I wrote many years ago, but I have tried to make it better. I'm not so good in grammar, so hope you can see past that. Hope you like it. Introduction: This is the story of a 19-year-old boy who had to accompany his aunt and cousin on a vacation to their summer home. The boy in question is named Sander. He had hoped to be home alone while his folks went on a cruise. Sander is a little short for his age; he is 5'1", and has dark hair, and blue-green eyes. He had an extremely feminine build and face. Many people initially believed he was a young girl. Heidi, his mother's sister, and Hanna his cousin. This is how it began. Chapter 1 I was still in bed when the door to my room opened. I felt a hand touch my hair. "Hello Sander." I turned to my mother. She grabbed the duvet and dragged it off of me. "Hey, stop!" "You have to get up now; we're leaving in a few hours!" "Oh yes, go away." I became irritated as I thought about what I was being punished for. Imagine being punished simply because you were cheeky at a party. Is this that bad? Maybe it was silly to be drunk and flirt with the daughter of my father's boss, but I was penalized for not being alone when my father was abroad. I got up and dressed. Downstairs, my parents awaited me for breakfast. "Hey, Junior! You finally got up! Make sure you have some breakfast; we are leaving soon." I went to make myself some breakfast and sat down with them. "I see you're still annoyed by your punishment, Sander. But, after your little stunt at the party you attended, which caused some friction with my boss, I expect you to understand. Since we're in difficulty, your buddies will be urging you to do more nonsense, therefore you'll be living with your aunt Heidi." Mom smiled before she spoke. "Yes, you'll have a wonderful time with Aunt Heidi, it's a long time since you've seen her, years I think. From what I've heard, your cousin Hanna will also be present. Imagine how cozy it will be. Hanna is a little older than you, but do you remember how fun it was to play with her before? You used to play house together. So sweet! I believe you had a small crush on her." Oh my god, Hanna! Will she also join us? Yes, I had a small crush on her. We always played house together, but I was only about six or seven years old at the time. She wasn't especially friendly to me, but she was incredibly attractive! She always made me dress frilly and other such things. "No, Mom. Please. I promise not to have any house parties." "No, we don't trust you; it's happened too many times in the past, and that's final." My mother was a little furious. The way she stated it made me feel uneasy, even afraid. Then Mom simply grinned. I was still shivering just thinking about this excursion. "Hello! Earth is calling Sander! I'm trying to get in touch with you." "Oh yes, what is it, mom?" "After you've finished eating, go to your room and pack a baggage. Remember to pack wisely because you'll be gone for three weeks. After quite a while of packing, my mother came into my room and asked if I was ready. "Yes, I am." We got in the car and started driving to Aunt Heidi's. After a long drive, we arrived at her home. She was already outside packing baggage into her car. When we came out, I saw Heidi clearly. She approached me and was about to offer me a hug. I was paralyzed because she was surprisingly attractive for a woman in her late forties. She was neither slender nor overweight; she wore trousers and a blouse. I thought she was in good shape, but I couldn't put it into words. Her breasts had a wonderful curve, and the blouse had a great neckline. The bra she was wearing resulted in the most stunning breasts. I felt tingling in my body. Maybe this will be an enjoyable vacation. "Hello, Sander. It's great to see you again; it has been a long time. But you art that much bigger than I so you last kiddo. I know now why your mother needed a babysitter.” Heidi just gave me a somewhat mischievous look. I couldn't respond; I was stunned, but suddenly my mother grabbed my arm. "But Sander, don't you say hello?" Mom murmured, "Hi Heidi," and hugged her sister tightly. They stood and talked for quite a while. Dad, furious, honked from his car. He shouted, "We have to go now!" Mom kissed me on the cheek before getting into the car and departing. Heidi walked up to me and circled me. "Yes, then, it's the two of us little one." I grabbed my bag but was unable to lift it; Dad had carried it in and out of the car and was so heavy. Heidi noticed I was struggling, so she came over. "Shall I help you?" "No, I can do it myself; thanks!" I said, a little annoyed. Heidi was standing next to me, and I could see her little smile. "No, this takes too much time," she said. Heidi nudged me away and lifted it like a pillow. I was astonished; she must be powerful, I figured. At the same time, her lips parted. "Yes, it's good to exercise a little; I can see you should try it a bit." I felt pitiful. When all the luggage was inside, she came over to me, looked at me, and gave me a little smile. "Yes, we will just wait for Hanna. Isn't it great that she will also join us? It is perfect! You and her will have a great time together, just like in the old days." I looked up and saw a red car. I became focused as the vehicle came to a halt, the door opened, and those long, lovely legs appeared. When she got out of the car, a tight top made beautiful contours around her figure. Her full-size breasts strained against the tight top, and you could tell she wasn't wearing a bra since her nipples pressed against the cloth. As she stepped out of the car, I noticed tight-fitting shorts rubbing against her bum. I couldn't help but struggle to keep my dick calm. She was extremely beautiful. The thoughts quickly shifted into a blissful trance; perhaps this wasn't such a bad vaction after all. Hanna was 24 years old, a little older than me, but we played a lot together when we lived side by side. She thought it was great fun playing with me, especially when I had to wear girl clothes, and she had a way to always make me wear diapers. I always got the feeling she just did it to humiliate me to the max. But she's probably outgrown that by now. Hanna proceeded to say hello to her mother before turning and looking at me. She looked at me for a moment that felt like an eternity before her eyes tightened and she began to smile. She approached me, wrapped her arms around me, and gave me a great hug. I felt her breasts press against me, and I closed my eyes slightly in pleasure, before she released me and smiled. "I'm glad you'll be joining us, Sander. This will undoubtedly be an amazing journey, as you shall see." She eventually retrieved her stuff. When everything was ready, we went to load the car. Heidi opened the door, and I noticed the car seat was a little unusual. It was protected with plastic covers. Heidi gave me a sneaky glance. "You see, I generally bring a few special friends with me to the cabin. There have been some mishaps in the car with them." Hanna giggled slightly at the expression I made. "Maybe he should have had a car seat for baby’s mum, I guess he must be right on the border of what is legal." Aunt Heidi looked at me seriously and smiled slightly. "You're probably right, Hanna, but I don't have the opportunity to get it now, and Sander is a big kid now, aren't you? Not a little boy in diapers like when you were younger. I remember he always had wet diapers when I played house with you Hanna.” I became so embarrassed of what day said, that I just looked out the window. We started driving, Hanna and I talked about all we'd done and what had happened since they moved several years ago. Hanna had some water bottles in her purse and asked if I wanted one. "So nice, thanks." Because it was so hot outside, the water was perfectly ordinary—and quite good. The summer vacation has definitely begun. She told me that she had done a lot of studying over the past year. She was relieved that it was summer vacation, that she would have more freedom, and that she would be able to visit her friends again. I realized we were approaching a gas station, but I didn't think much of it and leaned against the window to sleep. I awoke suddenly, and my body became utterly stiff. Hanna looked at me with big eyes and then a slight smile on her face. She looked down and noticed a dark line between my crotch and my pants that got bigger. I didn't understand why or what had happened. No, I have not… She smiled slightly, but I didn't understand why or what had happened. I have not wet myself since I was in diapers. Hanna suddenly yelled out. "Mom!" "Yes, what is it?" "Sander wet his pants." I turned red; I didn't know what to say. "I that you were a big boy now Sander? We'll be there soon; he just has to wait until we arrive; there's only 5 minutes left." We pulled off the main road and onto a private drive; there were no houses to view, just trees all around. I could see the sea; the car took to the right and came to a stop shortly after. I stepped out of the car and stood, admiring the beautiful view of the peaceful big lake. The summer house was a large, gorgeous structure that was near to the sea. It featured a spacious entryway and a huge balcony overlooking the lake. There was a large annex next to the original home, as well as a floating jetty into the water. Heidi approached me. "Isn't it nice here?" "Very nice," I mumbled. "But Sander, is it something I should know about?” My face came on fire, I became red. “No Aunt Heidi, it was just an accident.” “Ok kiddo, you'll have to come with me so you can change; you're soaking wet." I looked down. I completely forgot I had peed myself. We stood at the main entrance, which she had opened so we could simply walk in. Inside, there was a huge hall where you could hang jackets and put on shoes; further in, there were three doors in a row. I went in and stopped at every door. Heidi then said. "The first door is my room, the second is a private room, and the third is yours. The bathroom is next door; you can take a shower while I collect the luggage. Hanna will sleep outside, in the annex." When I appeared from the bathroom, wrapped in a large towel, I entered the room assigned to me. It was square, with a large bed with steel bars in the front and back. My suitcase was open, so I found a t-shirt, boxers, and sweatpants. I was going to put on a pair of boxers when Hanna walked in. "Hi, pee-boy, I believed you were a big boy now that you are 19 years old.” She gave a mischievous smile. Her expression made me nervous, so I responded with annoyance. "Haven't you heard of knocking?" "No, I am enjoying myself. Sweet little Sander. Yes, you would still look beautiful in some cute feminine outfits. More now than ever. I see that the name Sandra fits better as you've grown older." She vanished. I walked out and spotted Hanna resting on a sunbed. She was quite hot, lying on her stomach. She was resting with her top off, wearing only her tight shorts. She was really attractive to look at. I couldn't help but glance at her, even though her acts angered me slightly. Her body was extremely sexy! Suddenly, I heard her voice. "Come on, Sandra, lie down next to me." We both lay on our stomachs and started a small chatter again. It was really nice to hear how she was doing. After a long time on the sunbed, Heidi called out to us. "Let’s eat, kids." After supper and a lovely evening together, it was finally time for bed. I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then entered my room. Hanna walked in and said good night, as did Heidi. I was tired and fell fast asleep. Someone shoved me, and I awoke slowly. It was Hanna. "You have to wake up your sleepy head." I stroked my eyes and shifted slightly. I came to a halt and developed an odd expression on my face. Something was seriously wrong; it was freezing in bed. Hanna saw it. She grabbed the bedcover and took it off. "No! You've peed yourself again!" She nearly giggled, then called her mother before I could respond. Aunt Heidi came in. "What is it?" Hanna pointed to the bed between my legs. Heide approached and gave a slight sigh. "Yes, get up, then, Sander, take a shower, and get dressed; I'll fix the bed." I walked out of the bathroom, completed dressing, and was on my way into the room. Heidi had just finished changing the sheet. "Hi Sander, are you better? Was the shower good?" "A little." "Good, I have secured your bed with a plastic cover over the mattress." That terrible plastic sound. "But we need to do something about these accidents. You've had two accidents already, but we'll solve them tonight." We went outside, and the sun was shining. Hanna sat at the breakfast table, eating as I sat down to have breakfast with her. The morning passed, and we went outside to swim and enjoy the sun. We had a great time together. I believed the day was slipping away from us. When the evening arrived, Hanna and I planned to watch a movie on television, while Heidi went to bed early because she had a few hours away the next day. When she finished the bathroom, she exited the private room and called my name. I went to meet her in my room. "What is it?" "Come here and sit." I did as she said. "You have had two accidents. I don't have much bedding here, so I can only see one option." Heidi brought out a white object in front of me that created crackling sounds. I then realized what it was, a diaper! "No!" "But you've had two accidents, and it just doesn't stop." She held my arm a little tightly, but in a calm way, she looked at me. "It will only be this one time if you are dry tomorrow morning." I thought about it. "Well, one night should be okay." She asked whether I knew how to put on a diaper. She began to unfold it, and I noticed it had tape on both ends. I had only used up-and-go nappies for nighttime accidents when I was younger, so this was new to me. I said, "I don't know if have I done it, but I'll probably figure it out." "No, I can't take any chances that there will be any leaks; lie down, my little one." I did just what she instructed; I didn't dare to do otherwise. I lay down on the bed, carefully lowering my pants. She quickly grabbed them and pulled them all the way down. She pulled down my underwear before asking me to lift my bottom. I was so naked and embarrassed! "Please no!" "Now you listen." She spoke in a sharp and forceful tone. She grabbed my bottom with her hand and slapped it five times. I tried to get free, but she spanked me harder. No matter how hard I tried to break free, it just grew tougher. My muscles gave out, and tears streamed down my spine. I was now utterly still. She asked me to elevate my bum, so I did. She placed the diaper under my bum, wrapped it in front, and fastened the four tapes in front. "I guess that wasn't so bad, my little one." She was stroking my hair. "Get up, Sander; I must see how it fits." I stood in front of her, and she moved around me, feeling the diaper to ensure it fit correctly. She patted my diaper back to say good night. I was standing on the floor, having just pulled up my boxers. As I tried to pull up my sweatpants, I felt a hand grab the boxers! The elastic in the boxer crashed into me. I jumped and whirled around; there was Hanna! I hurriedly pulled my pants up. She grabbed her hand and slapped my ass. "Now, my little friend, did you miss being a baby again, as I used to do with you? Sandra, it appears that you are wearing the wrong color. You should have worn pink. "Can you stop Hanna? It's not funny!" She had a small laugh. "Stop it; it's not funny; if I'm not wet tomorrow, I don't have to think about it anymore." "Okay, sorry, Sander. Here, take one of my water bottles, it’s good and cold for the movie.” We sat up, talking and laughedas the movie went on. When it was finished we walked to bed. Hanna was looking at me and smiling. “Good night Lille one, well see if you are dry tomorrow Sandra.” She vanished, and I went to sleep. “She will realize that I am not a pee boy.” My eyes became tired, and I fell asleep. The next morning, I awoke with the sun shining on my face and started to mmove. I suddenly realized I was wearing a diaper. When I took my hand down, it felt swollen. I also noticed that the boxers had grown little damp. I stood up straight, with the diaper hanging like a thick lump between my legs. It was very wet. I stood there, wondering why these things had happened when I heard Heidi remark, "Good morning." I wasn't sure what to do. I stood there in a sticky, wet diaper with urine stains on my boxers. Heidi came over to see. "It's ok, Sander; it's probably better to have a wet diaper than a sticky, wet bed." Yes, I thought, maybe she had a point there. She studied me a little more closely. "I think I should put a thicker diaper on you. Go to the bathroom and take a shower, then throw away the diaper. I'm leaving immediately and will be gone for a few hours. Hanna will be in charge because she is the oldest. You to have fun." When I returned to my room, Hanna was sitting on the bed, waiting for me. I had at least thought to bring boxers into the restroom this time. "What are you doing in here?" I said. "Come here and sit, little one." I sat down next to her and said, "Yes, what’s up?" She smiled a little. "You know, my mother has said that I will be in charge here, so then I am the boss, right?" She had a slightly authoritative voice. "Yes, I know. So what?" "From now on, you must do exactly as I say; if you don't, I will punish you!" "What are you talking about?" She took out her mobile phone. "Look here." I leaned against her and gazed, and my face became scarlet. I was in full shock! She had taken numerous shots of me while I was sleeping with the diaper on. She also recorded video of me wetting the diaper. "I have another video." She found a video where I was sleeping in the car on the way to the cabin. You could see it suddenly turned dark on my trousers and down the crotch. "I'm the one who made you pee yourself, you little pee-boy. Good thing that they make a good medicine to make people wet fast where I studied. All I needed to do, was to get you to drink from my bottles with the blended medicine and a little slipping medicine too. All night I have made you listen to wetting hypnosis, just in case.” She began laughing as I just gaped. I attempted to take the phone from her, but she was stronger than me, and she simply pushed me down on my back and held me down on the bed. She gazed at me determinedly. "Now that I am the one making the decisions, you must follow my instructions properly. If you don't, I'll post all of these photos on your social media page and other sites where you have profiles and friends. Oh, and there are several duplicates of these photos on my phone, so deleting them is pointless!" Tears began to slowly run down my cheeks. I didn't know what to say or do. I let go and just laid there. "Good girl. Now you come with me." She got off me and looked down on me. "Get off the bed and go down on all fours and crawl after me, diaper boys belong on their knees. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and degraded. I just followed her to the private room. She unlocked and opened the door. I got inside and was completely paralyzed! It was a fairly large room. Inside, the walls were blazing crimson, and everything else was jet black. I observed a red leather sofa with a lovely table next to it that appeared to be expensive. Other things I noticed included a large bench and an x-shaped crucifix with multiple attached cuffs. There were shelves on the wall that held a variety of equipment and stuff. This was definitely a BDSM room. I had never seen something like that in real life, only online. She pointed to the bench and told me to get up on it. I was so frightened that my body did not respond. She slapped my ass hard, causing me to scream in pain. I was ready to shove her away and shout at her, when she grabbed my arm and twisted it around my back. She only pressed harder, and I shouted in anguish. "Now listen, if you give me another negative attitude, I'll make sure you have a miserable life. Who do you think would want to be friends with a pee boy? Her arm released mine, allowing me to be free. She removed my boxers and stood looking at me with a giggle. She pointed to the changing table and I just lay down. She fetched some wet wipes, started washing me, and applied a lotion. I noticed that it was some form of hair removal cream. My body was smooth but I had hair on my dick, which should be gone now. With all of her movements around my cock, I started to become a little erect. It felt so amazing as she stood there and took around my dick. "Ooo, see, there's a little thing here that's starting to grow and get hard." She laughed. "I can't do that now." She snapped at my dick head, which blasted in me but instantly softened. She walked up to a drawer and opened it. She rummaged about and closed it, she returned with a bulky diaper in her hand. She unwrapped it, and I instantly noticed that it was a different style of diaper; it was much thicker, and it was pink with princesses and unicorns! She instructed me to raise my bottom so that she could place the diaper below me. "Wait a minute," she said. She returned to the drawer, fetched something else, and grinned at me. She found some cream and spread it over my anal hole while softly playing with her finger outside. I was shaking somewhat, which was unusual. I started to feel stiff again! Suddenly, I felt her put something into my anal hole. It exploded somewhat before sliding into place. I assumed this was an anal toy of some type. She pushed, slipping the bulky pink diaper under my bottom. She slowly drew it up to the dick, which had begun to harden. She simply pushed it down and pulled the diaper over it and the four tape fastened in place. "OK, Sandra, you now have the proper diaper on. "Get up!" I stood there, unable to keep my legs together; it was so thick. "We're missing something; stay put; I'll go get it." She returned, carrying something pink in her hand. My eyes widened as I realized it was a pink Hello Kitty panty! She instructed me to lift my legs so she could fit both legs into the pink pants she had brought. She pushed it up and strained to get it over the bulging ball in the front and back, but it fit wonderfully! "Oh, how cute you are now, little baby Sandra." I flushed hot in the face. She returned and grabbed a pink bodysuit. I could tell it was unique since it had a V form with a white border. The bodysuit slipped down and between my legs. It buttoned up in the center of the crotch. I didn't have any pants, so I figured I could use my sweatpants. She grabbed my arm and forced me stand up straight. She bent down and requested me to raise my legs. There appeared a pink skirt with two white lines. She watched me again before disappearing inside the drawer to look for anything else. "These are perfect! Sit on the bench." She knelt down and lifted my foot. She tugged a sock on me, but it only went up my leg and thigh; it had to be stockings, and they're pink with white stripes! "Now you're done, little sissy. You are perfect." She laughed as she studied me. I just glanced down at the floor, ashamed and embarrassed. Her hand moved towards mine, dragging me towards a giant mirror. Her fingers lifted my head, allowing me to see myself in the mirror. It was terrible! I could obviously see the skirt pull up in front and behind. The bulge made it more obvious. I felt humiliated. She remained standing behind me, her hand still holding my head in place. So I had to study by myself. Her other hand reached down my pants. She slowly rubbed my bum. Again, I felt the wonderful breasts against my back, braless nipples thrusting into me. I felt myself becoming hard and horny. It was humiliating and unpleasant, but it was incredibly delicious. Her head lay against my shoulder. She withdrew something from her pocket. She moved it in front of the diaper. I noticed it began to vibrate, which got me more horny. She started talking into my ear. "Is that good, little sissy? Come on now, little slut, show me you're a little sissy slut." The vibrator just buzzed against the tip, which vibrated all the way to my dick, and my cock became increasingly hard. She pressed her deliciously hard breasts on my back. "Is it good, little sissy? Is little Sandra horny? Tell me how horny you are. Little little one." I was so horny now, I couldn't answer properly. Whispering, I got the word out. "Yes. I'm coming now; I'm coming!" She simply went on and on. I had a massive orgasm! I squirted my diaper, which was full of warm cum. "Mmm, was that good, little sissy?" I was so tired. "Yes. Are you going to take this diaper off me now?" She just laughed out loud. "Why should I do that? I was embarrassed. "Because it is full of hot sperm". "No. Sissy likes cum. I've always known you were a little sissy. I'm going to have a great time with you this summer. So I'm not going to change your sticky diaper simply because you feel horny from wearing diapers and being dressed like a sissy boy and can't keep it in. No, little sissys get to walk about with delicious hot cum in their diaper. Come on, diaper Sandra." I followed her out into the sunlight. Why would she do this to me? I was embarrassed and humiliated by the sensation that the thick diaper between my legs gave me, and it was pink! I had never seen a diaper this thick before. It didn't help that the thick diaper was now filled with warm sperm, and I began to feel erect again!
  3. From the album: Me And Friends

  4. Hi, I would like to start a roleplay, where my character Vivien (if you prefer me to be a female character) or Steven (if you prefer me to be a male character) is in charge of regressing your character. So in essence we have a caretaker (me) and little (you) situation. We can keep this going for a bit, but eventually I want to switch Vivien into becoming a baby girl as well. We can either end the roleplay at this point or I can introduce a new character to take over the caretaker position. If you want we could also reverse the roles, which would make you the caregiver at this point. The main things I want from this RP are: 1) Making cummies in diapers after messing them (Yes, I'm really into that) 2) Vivien either getting stripped from her caretaker position OR accidentally regressing herself The tags give you an overview what I would like to have included. There is no need to have everything that is listed included. I hope that you're interested. Feel free to write me a private message if that's the case!
  5. DISCLAIMER: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! If you have not read my first story: Little Beginnings: New Life - I HIGHLY suggest you do so! This story will make a lot more sense if you do. It’s where the main character is first introduced and you and learn a lot about the little community I have created. ooOoo Chapter 1: Three Months Before The moment she stepped out of the cab, her skin began to burn. Luna groaned, enduring the full force of the simmering summer heat. This was the exact reason she never wanted to come to the South. There wasn’t anything she hated more than the sun, and by the end of the day, she’d be as red as a lobster. Her father always said it was their Irish blood and she’d roll her eyes in return. No shit sherlock. They were as white as the freakin moon. For sure, she’d stand out among the throng of tanned bodies, which in her case, was not a good thing. She wasn’t sure how long she would stay but Luna had gotten a credible lead on her dad. One she couldn’t ignore. And if the authorities were still scouring Raleigh, it would only take them hours to realize that she was no longer there. “Hello, Miss?” the driver grumbled, knocking her from her thoughts. “You gonna pay me or what? I’m not gonna sit here all day.” He was a grumpy old man who’d only reluctantly driven her all the way out here from North Carolina after promising a generous pay. She’d had to leave earlier than expected and while inconvenient, made her aware of how comfortable she’d become. Never did she stay in one place for more than a few months. It wasn’t safe. “O-of course,” she blushed as she fumbled around in her wallet and pulled out one hundred dollars for the driver. Despite his less-than-stellar personality, he knew when to stay quiet and not ask questions. That was good enough for her. She carried only the bag on her back and money to last her at least another year and a half. After that, she wasn’t sure what she would do. Luna watched the car take off down the dirt path before finally exhaling the breath she’d been holding in the entire ride. There was an eerie silence. A sort of calm before the storm. Luna had only ever known noise, growing up in the heart of Manhatten. Her father explained the importance of hiding in plain sight. Nobody would expect them to be in bustling New York City, a place known for the attention and spotlight. It was perfect… until it wasn’t. Now, looking straight ahead, Luna wondered if she had the right place. The roof of the red farmhouse was dilapidated and the land looked absolutely dead. Anyone who happened upon the house would believe it was abandoned. Though that was the point. No one was supposed to know this place existed. Luna had only found it due to her father. He was the reason she’d not been caught yet. The girl walked ahead with a renewed sense of purpose. The boards below her feet creaked and she rapped her knuckle, three than two than six times, on the faded white door. She clutched a swiss army knife in her other hand, hidden in her pocket. “Always be prepared.” Her father taught her. “Never hesitate.” She was literally in the middle of nowhere-bumfuck-South Carolina. No one would see her if she was kidnapped. No one would hear her if she screamed. Being vulnerable was something she did not like. The door opened a crack and dark brown eyes peered at her. Her hand tightened around the knife and heart frantically raced. “Who sent you?” it was a woman’s voice who asked. “Martin Creevy.” she used her father’s alias. “I assume you’ve heard of him before.” Oh, the woman definitely had by the way her eyes lit up. The door closed in her face and for a moment, Luna thought she’d been turned away. However, there was a click and suddenly it opened again, wider. “We’ve been expecting you,” she said, motioning with her hand. “C’mon in.” Despite the raised hairs on the back of her neck, she stepped over the threshold into the house. There was no turning back, only moving forward. She never could stop moving, searching. Not until he was found. The door slammed shut and Luna jumped, spinning around. She watched the woman re-chain the door and turn the several deadbolts. From the outside, it looked like nothing. Her eyes wandered around, trying to adjust to the darkness. They were in a narrow hallway, with no lights and no other exit. A few pictures adorned the walls and they stood on a dusty old rug. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of mothballs and she leaned on each leg, testing the uneven floor. “You don’t think much of it.” Her eyes flashed back to the woman, who stared intently at her. “It’s just… different.” her bow-shaped lips pursed together. “Where do we go?” “Down.” “Down?” Luna didn’t think she meant literally, but she did. She watched as the woman bent down and peeled back the rug, revealing the wooden floor and… a hatch? “We take our security very seriously. There’s a ladder going down,” she explained, unlocking and lifting up the door. “You go first. I’ll follow.” ooOoo It was a tiny house. That, Luna had been sure of when she saw it from outside but inside, down here, was big. She supposed the basement would be large but not this big.They stood in the kitchen, which had no wall and lead right into the dining room where there was a small wooden table. Unable to help but gap, eyes going wide, the woman laughed, coming from behind her. “Don’t keep your mouth open too long. You’re gonna catch flies.” Her mouth instantly snapped shut and a furious blush spread across her face. Her blue eyes drifted over the woman beside her as she could see her properly for the first time in the light. She had a heart-shaped face and kind but weary brown eyes, that looked to have seen too much pain over the years. And despite her smooth, unwrinkled brown skin, her hair, which Luna could imagine must have been dark black at one point, now greyed. A few loose curls hung in her face and her lips formed a thin smile. “You look like your father.” Her brows furrowed together. She knew her father? “You have the same face but your eyes, they are exactly like your mother’s.” Her lips parted and she stilled. Her only reaction was to blink. “Call me Sue,” the woman offered no other explanation. “I always wondered when we would meet.” Still, she couldn’t bring herself to react. “This is the MacIntosh Safe House. I suspect this is the first one you have come across?” It was. Before, she was squatting in random abandoned buildings, resting while she had the chance. She knew there were safe houses, just didn’t know how to find them. “Sit down, Hon,” the wom- Sue, headed toward the kitchen cabinets, searching through them. “You’re exhausted. I’ll make you a snack.” Her feet moved on her own accord and sat down on the stool at the island table. Sue chopped an apple into slices. MacIntosh. She gulped, trying to find the courage to speak but was, she felt… Luna didn’t know how she felt. The strong confident girl from a few hours ago was gone and didn’t know what had happened to her. “My name is-” “I don’t want to know your real name.” she interrupted, not looking up from the cutting board. “Do you believe my name is actually Sue?” The girl did believe, well, at least up until now. “Charlie.” she made up on the spot. “Call me Charlie.” “Nice to meet you, Charlie.” The name sounded strange as the woman referred to her as it but Luna knew it was better this way. There was nothing to tie her to here. Well, except the driver but she doubted he’d remember. “I’m sure you have many questions and I’ll wait to answer them until you meet the others. It’s not common that we have a new person.” “The others? Oh, and I’m not planning on staying long. I’m just passing through.” She passed the plate across the table with the freshly cut apple slices and smiled. “Of course, you aren't.” The woman didn’t seem to believe her. However, the girl nibbled on the apple, realizing for the first time just how hungry she was. “There are six other people staying here. Three are out right now and the others are in the next room.” Glancing at the doorway in the dining room, she could hear the faintest sound. Was that a tv? There were a few voices. “Your father always bragged about how smart you were and never did I not believe him. You found us, which is not easy to do.” she leaned back against the oak cabinet. “How long ago did he go missing?” “Two years ago.” she ignored the heavy feeling in her heart. Realistically, he’d been preparing her for this since the moment she could walk and talk; but since it had happened, she’d never had time to fully comprehend. “He told me to run and not look back if they ever found us. He said that if he was captured then he’d find his way back to me someday. I believed him for a long time. Now, I’m less optimistic.” She sucked the tart flavor off of her fingers. The apples were gone. She’d eaten them all. “I didn’t believe it when he first told me about the communities, age play, and all of that stuff.” her lips curled up. “If the government knew, why hadn’t they put a stop to it? Innocent people are being kidnapped. My mother was kidnapped. Now my father. It made no sense.” At least, it used to not make sense. But now she realized, anything the government profited off of made perfect sense. Kidnapping defenseless people, stripping away their rights, all for what? To create a better nation? Her parents knew the price they would pay for speaking out about the secret age play communities and the government-sanctioned kidnappings. They just didn’t expect it would go this far- being on the run, living in hiding. And her mother especially didn’t expect she would get pregnant. Now she was destined for a life on the run. That is unless she wanted to get taken and forced back into diapers, made to shit and piss herself, play mindless baby games, and be just some sick couple’s object of amusement. That’s what had happened to her parents, she was sure of it. The only other option was that they were dead. Luna would gladly choose the second option if it came to it. No way would they take her alive. If Sue noticed the faraway look in her eyes, she didn’t comment. Instead, she took the dirty plate, dumping it in the sink. “Why don’t we go say hello to the others.” “Now?” she stammered. Growing up homeschooled, her interaction with people was severely limited. Being alone was what she preferred. It's what she was best at. “Yes, there’s just one thing you have to know." "What?" "Try not to stare.” “Stare?” “Mary gets mad and Tina can't help what was done to her.” Luna didn’t know what that was supposed to mean and tried to shrug off the uncomfortable feeling, but it just wouldn’t go away. ooOoo A/N: Hello everyone! I promised I would post soon and I did! I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter and you may notice two familiar names :). If it doesn’t make sense at first, trust me it will soon! I will be alternating, telling Luna’s (Lulu) story from before she was taken and after in Henderson. I will touch a bit on the hospital but it will mostly be her life after. I should update again soon but I hope you all enjoy!
  6. Author's note: Years ago I wrote a number of diaper stories, but that I never posted. This is one of them. This one is NOT finished, but I finished about ten chapters. They may have some raw elements, lesser parts, but I hope you'll enjoy anyway. I'll post chapters one at a time, so you can have some things to look forward to while I give myself some time to decide whether I should finish it or not. ===== Chapter 1: ---------- She called me Ensie. It wasn't too far off from my real name, but enough to make it sound endearing like a nickname that you were carrying around since you were four. I didn't mind. Not from her in any case. She could call me anything she wanted to and I was ok with it. Nevertheless, it all seems like a phase now, but it was what I needed at the time, what I needed to grow and to become my own independent person. I love her for that, for what she gave me, and I hope I can one day repay her for all the things she did for me. Not that she would accept it. After our relationship, she said that despite all the fun we had, it was disturbing how many things she put me through. In any case, her name is Cynthia. She has a husband now, two of the cutest kids you'll ever meet. I'm godmother to one of them. Our story began our senior year. I had just moved because my dad had lost his job due to the crisis. Instead of going around trying to find a new job, my dad just took over a store in another city with a little support from my grandparents. It was not a bad choice, in hindsight, but it's not really pertinent to my story. Mom was an electrician and thus she could hold her own among the men. I think I got my unique mixture of boyish and girlish mostly from her. You see, I wasn't exactly what you'd call a girly girl and yet I wasn't really a tomboy either. Sure, I kept my hair cut rather short and I wasn't as concerned about my appearance as other girls, but then again, I wasn't boisterous or messy either. I liked skirts, skinny jeans, poofy pants, and wide loose pants all the same. I didn't like tight shirts though, I didn't have much to show off in those days -pregnancy will do wonders for that, by the way- so I liked to keep what little I had to myself. I liked to keep to myself in general, especially because I was a senior in a strange new school. The first day I was wearing a rather wide pair of jeans with one of my largest loosest t-shirts. It had a "no velociraptors" sign on it. Along with my short hair, I got more than one "hey dude" that morning. It suited me just fine, boys could always more easily stay in the background. It took me a bit of searching in the the schools mostly plain hallways, but I eventually managed to make my way over to English, which was my first period. The teacher only had a short glare for me being late before he continued rattling off the names list. He couldn't have gotten far yet, because my name was next: "Ensleigh Auld?" Twenty pairs of eyes were suddenly completely focused on me. I heard a whispered "she's a girl?" somewhere behind me. Even though I had dressed tomboyishly on purpose, it still stung a little. "Here," I squeaked quietly while raising my hand. First period was a drag. Not because the teacher was boring, but because everyone kept looking back at me every two minutes or so. The class was actually interesting, since the teacher seemed as interested in all kinds of stories as I was. I don't remember what my next class was, though I would guess something to do with math, because I had a lot of those classes in senior year. Considering my career path some would've called that a mistake, but I loved those subjects then and I'm still glad I have the knowledge, so I don't see which part of it was a mistake. But I digress. In any case, I met her during the first break. As you can imagine I was kind of lost, out there all alone. I just walked around the building quietly, not trying to attract too much attention. Thankfully, most of the students were chattering with their friends about their summers, and thus they mostly had attention for each other. Nonetheless, my path was suddenly blocked by Cynthia, though I didn't know her name then. I didn't even like her. She was stood there, somewhat towering over me thanks to her massive heels. "Whatever you do, stay on my good side, or you'll regret coming here." A stern warning that she seemed to mean. She almost seemed like my mom talking down to me when I was young, threatening to spank me if I didn't behave. Not that she ever had. I was dumbfounded at her dominant posture, but before I could remember where I was, she was already strutting off, two sycophants trailing after her. Now, I already told you I was a weird mix of boyish and girlish, but I was also kind of bi. Now, don't get me wrong, I am happy with my husband, and I've always wanted a family on some level, but her strength and bossiness seemed the perfect combination of manhood and womanhood to turn me on. I didn't even admit that to myself though. I just blamed it on watching too much porn at that moment. After that encounter though, I didn't interact with Cynthia until spring, which is when we really got to know each other. The morning had been a chilly and windy affair, though the sun called you outside from every window. I was wearing a long skirt and a rather close fitting blouse for a change. Most of the other kids at school were wearing spring colours. Many girls were wearing pinks and purples and most boys were as oblivious to colours as always. I was trying to match the splendor of nature in the colours that I wore: lilac, soft greens, some hints of yellow. I even had some flowers in my hair. Not that my friends noticed. Jack just started talking about how he'd figured out a new strategy for the next time we played together, while Dennie just kept going on about our homework due today. The only solace I found was Rebecca, who just hugged me when she came up to me and then was quiet. She had a crush on me, though I didn't know at the time. For all the experience I had observing people, I just wasn't very good at noticing things, even moreso when it concerned Rebecca. Not that that was my fault. The girl was more than a closed book. She was a closed book, chained closed, locked in a vault. Sure, she was always happy to see me, but other than that, you couldn't get any emotion out of her. I bumped into Cynthia head on when I rounded a corner. Her nose poked my eye and we both almost crashed to the ground, grabbing each other to stay a modest distance away from the floor. When we were finally more or less stable, she looked at me and blinked. A moment of getting over the shock later, she looked me up and down and smiled. "In one piece?" She asked. "Yes," I replied, but before I could ask if she was ok too, she said: "Good, then you can make this up to me later. Wait for me after school." Once again, she was off before I could react. My friends were staring after her with as much puzzlement as myself. That whole day was a blur to me. To this day, I still have no idea what we learned that day, or even if we had any tests. Time both flew past and took forever to advance, depending on my mood at the moment. When the final bell finally did rang, I got up with my heart racing in my throat. My friends all wished me good luck, but none of them wanted to stick around to see what would happen. Jack excused himself, saying he had an appointment with his online guild. Dennie just mosied out without saying a word. At least Rebecca gave me a hug, though it felt hollow that time. I think she regretted not having the guts to stick around. When I finally found Cynthia, she was all alone. The two beauty queens that were usually trailing her were nowhere to be seen. She was nervous herself that day, but she hid it a whole lot better. She almost looked regal, standing there, letting me come to her. "So, what's your worst nightmare?" She asked it so plainly that I stopped on the spot, nailed to the ground, incapable of speaking or even thinking. As I began to mutter "wh-what?" she planted her lips on my mouth. If I had been struck speechless before, I was completely mute now. It didn't take me long to recover. At least, I had the impression it didn't take long. I had always suspected that I didn't have a clear type, sexually speaking, but that was more because I didn't feel particularly attracted to either boys or girls. Not that I didn't like playing around like everyone else, it's just that I much preferred my own company to that of others at the time. Cynthia waited for me to regain my senses, patiently, but she never moved an inch from her position a foot away from my face. I was confused and didn't know what I was supposed to do, so I just kissed her back. And a real kiss this time, not like Cynthia's little peck. Tasting her own lip for a second after we were done kissing, she said: "Good," with a smile, "come by my house as soon as you can." She wrote her address on my hand then proceeded to suck on my neck for two minutes, declaring "mine!" once she was done. I could do nothing but blush and feel rather horny really quickly. Being dominated is awfully reassuring. You feel wanted and you have a clear purpose in your life. You don't have any hard decisions to make and you can't fuck up so bad that a punishment won't fix it. A forgive and forget kind of thing. I didn't know that yet at the time, though. Like most others I thought BDSM was just whips and chains and being rough. At home, I told my mom I had a school project with a classmate and that I was going over there. They didn't seem to have noticed the hicky, or if they did, they never said anything. She just wished my good luck, not asking any questions at all. Which was very typical of my mom. If there was no particular reason to be worried, she wasn't going to hammer on anything. She expected me to use my brain and that was that. Ten minutes later, I rang Cynthia's doorbell. Her mom opened up. "You must be Ensleigh," she said in a far too happy tone, "come on in." Cynthia herself was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down on me with another smile on her face. "Come on up." "Work hard, girls," her mother said as she moved into the kitchen. I heard a door close before I reached the top of the stairs. That made me nervous. I didn't know if Cynthia had told her mother and had expected to just follow her into her room where we could talk, but now I wasn't sure. Should I kiss her? Was it ok for me to kiss her? Would she kiss me? Was I supposed to ask first? She must've seen my nervousness because she simply grabbed my hand and dragged me into her room. She led me to her bed and then went to close the door. I had had a real boyfriend before, but I was not exactly used to what came next. She simply climbed on top of me on the bed. We were both sitting up, mind you. And then she started making out with me heavily. Making out with a girl is not much different from making out with a boy, sex on the other hand... but that came later. Her wet tongue was down my throat rather quickly, she was heavy handed and didn't give me much of a choice. Something in the back of my mind linked the behaviour with abuse and rape, but for the first time someone I made out with was managing to turn me on. I didn't really surrender, not yet anyway. I wasn't experienced or secure enough for that yet. It didn't matter. The first kiss isn't supposed to be perfect, it only needs to show promise. It did. "I've been waiting for this for a while now," she said after I hadn't even noticed she had stopped kissing me. "Did I live up to expectations?" I asked her nervously. She smiled and kissed my nose. "You don't need to worry about that." In the same breath she went on: "There are a few things though." Most people would've said "like?" then, but I just gave her a look that said it. She understood what it meant, which was a wonderful new experience for me. "No-one can know. I know it's silly and such this day and age, but I have a reputation, and I'd rather not have to give you up if my parents happen to disagree." That was actually sweet of her, in her own way. It was not a bad arrangement, regardless, since it would keep the wrong kind of attention away from me. "The second thing is the hard thing, though." I hadn't been paying much attention any more, but that snapped me back to the moment. Before I could ask what that was, she said in a surprisingly calm voice: "I'm going to be the Dominant one." She said it so matter-of-factly that I felt stupid for not really knowing what she meant. "You mean, like, the boy in the relationship?" I asked. My voice high-pitched enough to betray my confusion. She looked at me intensely, her eyes betraying her own insecurity at this point. "No. I mean that I want to be the one in charge. The bossy one, the Master, and you'll be the obedient one, the slave. Well, not really a slave, more like a treasured pet." My first instinct was to be repulsed, but I didn't really know how to react. "I... I don't know, Cynthia." She swallowed, insecurity bubbling to the surface now. "But, you followed so naturally before. You completely went with it when I took charge." That's true, I thought to myself. Still, what kind of crazy person would willingly become someone's slave. Or even pet, as she said. Me apparently. "I'll show you," she said, pushing me back onto the bed and then began unbuttoning her pants. I panicked and tried to get off the bed, but she was stronger. She put a finger on my lip and went "shh, relax," before kissing me as she had before. She didn't give up until I kissed her back, at which point she slowly stopped and asked: "ok now?" I must've looked forlorn there, because she kissed me on the forehead and assured me: "don't worry, you'll be fine." I could only nod. She sat down on the bed next to me and pulled off her pants, taking her panties with them in one go. Once done, she moved back on top of me, but this time positioned her pelvis near my face. "Kiss me," she whispered. Not that she needed to say that. It was kind of obvious what she wanted. So I did. I kissed her vulva, and added a little nibble to it as payback for what she was doing to me. Of course, in hindsight it was more flirtatious playful forgiveness. "You naughty minx!" She responded through clenched teeth, but she was glowing. I loved that from the first moment I saw it. She got off me and helped me off the bed. I still didn't really know where to look. I mean, Cynthia made no move to put her pants back on, instead she whispered in my ear: "undress." I did what she said. I could hardly protest now that I had put my lips on her intimate parts. I tried to be calm about it, and Cynthia waited for me to finish patiently, never ceasing to smile. Here and there she put a kiss on my cheek, trying to reassure me. Isn't it weird that lesbian kisses can work to reassure an eighteen year old girl? When I was done undressing myself, she walked around me, tracing her left index finger along my skin. She avoided my breasts, or what passed for breasts on my body, but definitely took a good look at me. "On your knees," she said suddenly. Once again, it's hard to protest when you've already had your lips on someone's vagina. She showed me her bottom and told me: "Kiss my ass." There was nothing wrong with that, before anyone says anything. Sure, it's humiliating, but she was just testing the waters. To be entirely honest, it was already beginning to turn me on. That was all the kinky stuff we did that night. We made out some more after we were both redressed, but I was home in time for dinner. I didn't sleep that night at all.
  7. New story! THE DIAPER DATE 1. Mikey Mikey had a nervous fluttering in his stomach as he entered the restaurant. He was wearing baggy overalls and a bulky oversized hoody that extended down almost to his mid-thighs. Underneath it he was wearing a bright blue tight jumper that snapped under his crotch concealing an adult diaper and plastic pants. He was very conscious of his slight waddle and the crinkle the diaper made as he walked. Mikey was 22 with shaggy brown hair and very slight build – he barely weighed 125lbs. He looked much younger – in his late teens - and was quite “twink”-ish and effeminate, despite his experience being completely heterosexual up until this point in his life. He had a sheepish look now on is face as his eyes skirted around the restaurant scanning the patrons. He was here to meet “Mommy Olivia” – this was the only name she’d given. They had started chatting about a month and a half ago - 1st on a popular diaper fetish site – then through the kik app and video chat. Mikey had become interested in ABDL fetishes a few years ago – finding it fascinating in some “primal” way – something hitting a chord deep within him. He found the idea comforting – being fastened into a warm absorbent disposable diaper and being free to wet or mess in it when he felt. When he saw pictures of beautiful women on the internet wearing diapers and baby cloths, he began masturbating to ABDL and diaper messing porn (often behind the backs of the 2 girlfriends he’d had since high school). This was EXTREMELY exciting to him, and he felt very “naughty” for doing so. This type of porn had now completely replaced any other theme, and he only seem to want to watch diaper and “diaper adjacent” videos. He’d become more and more obsessed with it until he’d finally broken down and ordered himself a 10 pack of adult diapers and a pair of plastic pants. Since he lived in his parent’s basement, he was very nervous about being found out by them and had arranged a package pickup at a local courier outlet instead of having them shipped directly to his house. His routine had started by secretly wearing them at night (his crotch and bum area slathered with Vaseline and baby oil underneath) and peeing them while watching diaper porn. He masturbated after they were soaked by rubbing against a large round couch cushion in his diaper - his little 4” dick cumming in the soggy mess of pee and Vaseline inside it before falling asleep contented in his warm wet cummy diaper. He masturbated to girls messing their diapers as well. He had a very keen interest in trying this himself – but due to his living arrangement, hadn’t yet tried it. This went on for quite some time – him carefully hiding his wet diapers from his parents – while his sexuality became increasingly more tied to this fetish. He ended up breaking up with his last girlfriend 6 months ago and now his whole sex life was devoted this diaper fetish. He had recently started chatting with other ABDLs on fetish sites and this is where he met “Mommy Olivia”. 2. Chatting with Mommy It had been quite an evolution of kink chat and games that they had engaged in during their frequent chats. He had cum hard the 1st few times as she guided him through his regular wet peepee diaper masturbation in the message function. She started insisting he call her “Mommy” and started messaging him more often when he was at his crappy job at Starbucks. She started getting him to send her photos of himself in a diaper and take videos of himself changing them and taking baths. She convinced him to start completely shaving all the hair off his body(except his lovely “brown shaggy mop” as she called his hair) until he was used to being bald everywhere. Then they were doing several hours of video chats in the evenings, as she guided him through everything he did during them. He didn’t know exactly how old she was, he guessed about 38-40, but she was still very beautiful and had a toned athletic body. She dressed in back vinal tops but wore a wear “Mom” apron over it with pink flowers. She never got naked on their chats, but he knew she was using a vibrator under her underwear off camera. One time he had to go poo during one of their chats and he excused himself to go to the loo – but she stopped him and insisted he do his poopies in his diaper. He had been very curious about this for the last few months but had been too scared his parents would discover him from the smell. She eventually talked him into it, and he pushed a big stinky log into the back of his diaper as she watched on the video chat… encouraging him with “Oh, what a good little baby boy!”, and “That’s it sweety - push now…”. She made him sit down on it and squish it in as she asked him to describe how it feels. When she guided him through his pillow cummies after - he never came so hard! He passed out after and woke up in his stinky diaper an hour later, panicked that the basement now stank of poo. He stated covertly changing, washing and getting rid of the evidence before his parents woke up, burning several incense sticks around his room. Next, she had him buy a small dildo and a butt plug online and guided him how to use them. He squatted in front of his web cam over his open wet diaper the 1st time he pushed the dildo into his pink virgin rosebud. He hadn’t even had a finger up there before. She cooed words of encouragement as he lowered himself on it groaning and gasping in pain- saying, ”Ooooh…I can’t do it Mommy! Owies!” – but eventually getting it all in. She made him sit in his diaper and fasten it around himself, lock the dildo in place up his bum – then masturbate on his pillow, the dildo pushing in and out of his little freshly stretched pucker – until he came with it inside him. She taught him how to use the butt plug and made him wear it under his diaper for his entire shift at Starbucks – denying him his morning poo and making him drink several cups of coffee during the shift till he was sweating and ready to explode - texting him often asking how it felt. She made him turn on his video chat as soon as he got home and strip down to his diaper – making him struggle and force the plug out as she watched and pleasured herself, until it finally came out in his diapers. He let out a huge moaning sigh as it was immediately followed by his days poopies. As he lay there breathing heavy – he watched her come hard over the video chat. She guided him through several kinky escapades over the month. She collected several videos of him in messy diapers, with open diapers, in sexual poses in front of the cameral, making him say submissive sissy baby talk things as she recorded. She told him how proud she was that his little sissy bumhole was getting looser and he was starting to enjoy the dildo and make his good cummies with it in. She was also proud he was making his diaper poopies more frequently and enjoying sitting in them like a good stinky baby. He lived for these sessions and lost all interest in finding a new girlfriend. He would do anything that Mommy asked at this point. And hornily anticipated the next kinky thing she would make him do in front of the camera. So, when she told him that she would be coming to his city next Saturday – and that they should meet up in person – he could not believe his excitement.
  8. CHAPTER 1 In a remote area there is a town of about 50,000 inhabitants which is totally isolated to the population, the only facade accessible to the public is a huge building called «REGRESSION SHOCK THERAPY BUILDING » Inside that building there was a man who was giving a press conference about the success of a private state channel called "The AB Show » This show was based on the film « The Truman Show » 23 years ago The man with absolutely no shame explained that the state has found a way to make huge amounts of money at the expense of broken persons who have suffered a post traumatic shock by easily breaking them down completely so that they become adult baby of 3 years old The tv reality show It's an incredible success, there are thousands of channels available and the public is addicted to « The AB Show » In fact the public is fascinated to see adults baby couple behave and talk like baby, but mostly they are entangled and turn on by the way they having sex, of course they have sex the way they were educated It only takes six weeks before applicants are completely brainwashed. Following this they live in the state hook as a couple in a closed city among thousands of other AB. They are fed, changed, washed etc the only thing they have to do is play with their toys having sex and naturally some spanking to keep them sexually stimulated Soon I’II show you said the men, the video tape that captured all the explicit details of Pete and Katy transformation. Of course the sensitive heart I would suggest you not to watch because there is a lot of violent spanking, humiliation, crying but also a lot of positive reinforcement, and the beautiful thing with positive reinforcement its that when they are no more capable of pain they begin to accepted more and more what happening to them and in a twisted way they begin to craved the humiliation they undergo So let me explain, Pete arrived here 8 january 2020 in a post-traumatic shock, It arises from exposure to trauma resulting in a death Pete was a train operator (subway) in is old life before someone jump in front of is train. So when the paramedics picked him up after all the police interrogation etc, they brought him here to the REGRESSION SHOCK THERAPY BUILDING (RSTB), of course he didn’t know where he was brought, but most importantly he didn’t know he was breating his last moment of is adulthood When he arrived at the RSTB the doctors put him in a artificial coma stade 3 for 14 days by sedating drugs, such as midazolam or propofo, this is deep coma that will put him on any reaction to painful stimuli. During the 14 days the subjects will receive some surgery, here is the list -Minor anal operation (cut the sphincter muscles) -Minor lobotomy -Removal of all teeths -Permanent removal of all hair -Injection of medication via a catheder to weaken the blader -Head phone session (Babyis hypnosis) Now let's go to a commercial pose for a few minutes so that after that I explain these various surgery to you and then I will show you Kati and Pete video transformation
  9. Hey y'all - been awhile! I don't get much time to write, but over the last several years I've slowly been building up a little bit of a catalogue. I have enough content to post that I plan to slowly drip it out over the next several months. After that, maybe I'll have more stuff that isn't written yet, or maybe not - I will never start posting something before I think that the entire piece is finished, so it comes down to the mix of time and inspiration. But in the meantime, I thought I'd repost the original since I'm sure it will be new to lots of people. I'll repost the other next week, and then start with some new stuff. Thanks for the occasional posts and messages over the years. It's nice to know at least a few people have enjoyed it over the years. --- “Good morning, Baby!” Jackie's mother woke her with the same enthusiasm that she used every morning. At first, her syrupy sweet tone was almost too much to take, but over time, like much of her new life, Jackie had grown to accept it. Yawning, she answered, “Good mowaning, Mommy,” as was expected of her. As her mouth was closing, her mother picked up her pacifier from her pillow and slipped it back into her mouth, where it had been when she fell asleep and where it was expected to stay while she was awake unless it was removed by what she was forced to call “a grown-up.” Her mother checked her diaper and found it wet, as she always did now in the mornings. Jackie had not been a bed-wetter when her parents had decided that she would once again become the baby in the family, but several months without using anything but her diapers had been enough to completely destroy her bladder control, especially when asleep. Jackie seldom stayed in a dry diaper for more than a half an hour at a time any more, and, unlike at the beginning of her new life, when she would often soak her diapers heavily and require a nearly immediate change to prevent a leak, she now often stayed in damp diapers through several hours of minor wettings until finally she was given a change. This morning was no exception, and her mother declared that she would be able to last until she had finished her breakfast. Within seconds, the side of Jackie's crib had been lowered and she was helped down to the ground by her mother. Still in her pink, very short nighty that she had been put to bed in, Jackie began to crawl out of her room, with her mother following close behind her. When she got to the stairs, she shifted positions and slid downstairs on her bottom. Returning to crawling, Jackie crossed through the living room, past her playpen and toys, and into the kitchen. When she arrived there, her mother helped her up into the highchair that sat waiting for her near the table. As with every morning, Jackie was strapped in, with her mother reminding her that “we wouldn't want our precious babykins to fall out,” in the same awful coo that she was always addressed in these days. The tray of her highchair was soon locked into position against her chest, and her mother crossed the kitchen to begin preparing the oatmeal that Jackie was fed every morning for breakfast. As it heated in the microwave, her mother fastened one of Jackie's many embarrassing bibs around her neck. This one was relatively mundane, however, simply reading “Mommy's Little Princess” in pink letters across a plain yellow fabric, and Jackie rarely even bothered to read her bibs anymore knowing that they were only ever seen by people who were well aware of her new status as a baby. Soon enough, the microwave beeped and Jackie's mother brought her over her steaming hot oatmeal and began spoon-feeding it to her. Jackie accepted the oatmeal without any fuss. She did not particularly enjoy it, and she particularly disliked being spoon-fed it by her cooing mother, but she had learned long ago that there was no sense in resisting it. Her mother always made sure that she ate all of her food, no matter how much time that took, and any real resistance usually just led to some sort of punishment afterwards, which Jackie never enjoyed and avoided like the plague. Besides, though the oatmeal was not very tasty and there was always far more of it than Jackie truly wished to eat (her mother said that Jackie had become too skinny), breakfast was easily the best meal of the day for Jackie. At other meals, she was forced to eat real baby foods, rather than the comparatively adult selection of oatmeal. These meals, she had decided, were the ones that were truly disgusting, and so she had come to see breakfast as the best meal of the day, for better or for worse. Just as her mother was shoveling the last spoonful of oatmeal into Jackie's increasingly dirty mouth (her mother always made sure that an appropriate amount of baby food ended up on Jackie's face and bib, no matter how politely Jackie accepted her feed), Jackie saw her father walk into the room. After she swallowed, her mother asked “What do you say to your daddy, little girl?” “Hewwo Daddy,” Jackie lisped out in the ridiculous voice that she was always required to speak in. One of the rules of her new life was that she was always to speak in a babyish voice, which was made easier by the large nipple of the pacifier that was normally in her mouth. Still, this humiliating speech was one of the things that Jackie hated most about being a baby again, especially since she was usually only allowed to speak when she was repeating what she was told to say by an adult, with the only exceptions being to answer questions which she already knew the answer too like the one that her mother had just asked her. Her father crossed the kitchen and kissed her on the top of the head, which was just about the only way he could avoid getting oatmeal on his lips. “Good morning Princess,” he answered, using his preferred nickname for his big baby daughter. Jackie noticed that her father was not dressed in his work clothes as he normally was. That was odd, she thought. She was almost sure that it was Friday, though it was hard for her to tell given that she wasn't even sure what month it was and rarely even glimpsed a clock. In converting her into a full time baby, her parents had seemingly taken great care to deprive her of her ability to track time. Her highchair faced away from the clock in the kitchen, and there was no way to tell time either in the living room where her playpen was or in her nursery. She spent very little time outside, so all she really knew about the time of the year was that it was quite hot, and thus she assumed that it was summer. At first she had known how many days and weeks it had been since her parents had made her a baby, but as the weeks turned to months and it became increasingly clear that her newly lowered status would not be ending anytime soon, she gave up on diligently keeping track in her head. She tracked days of the week through whether or not her father had gone to work in the morning, but this was imperfect for a number of reasons. Her dad, like everyone else, occasionally took days off. Beyond that, Jackie often found that she simply lost track by the time Thursday, Friday, or Saturday rolled around because it really made little difference to her what day it was, as the only difference that the day of the week would make to her daily routine would be that her father would be around if it were a weekend day and would most often be at work on the weekdays. Thus, Jackie dismissed the idea that her father's casual clothing meant much of anything and assumed that it was simply Saturday and she had lost track of time again. Her musings on her dad's clothes were interrupted by her mother tilting her head back from behind and putting a bottle of formula into her mouth. Of all the ways to be fed from a bottle, this one was undoubtedly the worst in Jackie's opinion. To her immense displeasure, she drank exclusively baby formula. She found it to be too thin, too sweet, and just plain gross. She particularly hated its horrendous aftertaste, which hung around for hours and almost left her feeling thirsty again, though another drink of formula was the last thing she wanted. Despite her distaste for the milk, Jackie found that bottles were an inescapable part of her daily life. She was given one after each meal, along with two each as a “snack” in both the morning and afternoon and another after nap time and before bed, plus the other one or two she might be given to drink on her own over the course of the day. Being fed in the highchair, as she was now, was particularly embarrassing to Jackie. With her head tilted back, the bottle feeding forced her to look up at her mother, who usually put her face very close to Jackie's and whispered coos to her about how little or cute or precious or well behaved she was. Beyond this, Jackie felt particularly infantile because of the way that the bottle simply poured into her mouth and she had to suck even more furiously than normally just to keep up with the flow of the bottle. Fortunately, after just a few short minutes of the torture, Jackie finished the bottle. Her mother quickly and efficiently used her bib to clean up the oatmeal and milk that had remained on Jackie's face and then replaced her pacifier before removing the tray from the highchair. After she unbuckled the straps, she helped Jackie down to the floor. On autopilot, Jackie crawled into the living room and towards the playpen to begin her daily routine of nearly insufferable boredom. However, her mother had a different plan for her. “Where do you think you're going, silly?” she asked Jackie, as if Jackie were stupid for assuming that her day would begin in the same way that it had for literally weeks before. “We have a big day ahead of us today, so Mommy is going to give her little baby a nice bath so that if we don't have time we don't have to do it later.” Suddenly Jackie's curiosity was piqued again. Perhaps it was Friday, and her dad being home wasn't a coincidence but part of the “big day” that her mother was talking about. Jackie knew it was better not to ask, that her parents would tell her what was up eventually, but she was certainly afraid of what might be to come. Her mother had never said anything like this before, and normally she didn't get a bath until sometime just before dinner. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of a big day given her humiliating status within her family. Jackie crawled up the stairs and into the bathroom. Her mother started the water for her, then told her to sit still while she fetched her a nice new diaper for when she got out of the bath. Before she had time to so much as think, her mommy returned holding diapering supplies. As if to humiliate Jackie even more, her mommy said simply “we wouldn't want baby to do pee-pees all over the floor on her way to her nursery, would we?” All Jackie could do was avert her glance in shame, knowing full well that her mom was not totally off base. Soon Jackie had been stripped out of her nighty and her quite damp diaper and, with just a quick wiping, deposited in the bathwater. The water was warm and refreshing, but her mother did not give her more than the few seconds it took to clean up her wet diaper and put her nighty in the hamper to enjoy it. In a record time, Jackie was given her usual, thorough bath that included a scrubbing of all of the places that Jackie had once assumed her mother would never see again. Within just a moment of the scrubbing ending, Jackie was hauled out of the tub, dried off, and once again laying on the changing mat. By now, Jackie could confidently say she was unlikely to make good on her mother's prediction of being wet before her nursery, but only because she had already peed while sitting in the tub. As the diaper was laid out and Jackie was being powdered, she realized that she was once again being put into a thick, nighttime diaper, which was normally reserved for when she was about to be put in her crib for the night. This had never happened before, which gave Jackie further misgivings about what “big day” was in store for her. As if to answer her question, her mother said, “Don't worry baby, we just have a long car ride ahead of us and it will be much easier if Mommy and Daddy don't need to pull over every couple of hours just to change their little tinkle-pants.” Jackie wasn't sure whether to be dismayed or glad after that comment. Her parents weren't the only ones who didn't want to be pulling over every couple of hours in order to change Jackie's diapers. Any diaper change that began with pulling over sounded like the most humiliating experience of Jackie's time as a baby. But hearing that they would be traveling that far scared Jackie very much. Where could they possibly be going? Jackie didn't even have time to ask. As soon as her bulky diaper was taped shut, she was flipped over and ordered to march to her nursery. Naked but for the thirsty disposable between her legs, Jackie did as she was told, though her apprehension caused her to move slow enough for her mother to give her a quick smack on the rear as a signal to hurry up. With a somewhat renewed vigor, Jackie finished her short crawl into her nursery. As always, she was helped onto her changing table by her mother to be dressed. She sat with her legs dangling over the edge of the table while her mother opened the drawer of her dresser across the room. She soon returned with a relatively simple pink onesie for Jackie to wear. While it wasn't the most embarrassing piece of clothing in Jackie's extensive new wardrobe, it was still more than she really wished to be seen in public in, especially given the frilly lace around the arm holes and across the bottom. She was also put off by word “baby” spelled out in baby blocks the chest, but supposed that the fact that she would be wearing a onesie over a thick, bulging disposable diaper meant that the label wasn't really telling anyone anything they couldn't figure out. Only after her mother pulled it over her head and fastened the buttons in her crotch did Jackie realize that the ensemble was not yet complete. Her mother told her to stay where she was. She soon returned with an item that she had never before seen. It was pink, though much brighter than the pastel shade of her onesie. It took Jackie only a moment longer to realize that it was a denim pair of shortalls. While they were loud and quite babyish and seemingly likely to draw a stare from anyone who really examined them, Jackie's first reaction was to let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness that much of the onesie would be covered! Soon, though, her delight was diminished. As her mother brought the shortalls up her legs, she realized that they were closed on the bottoms with the same humiliating buttons that her onesie had, thus making it obvious that they were hiding diapers that may need changing. Still, at least the ruffles on the seat of her onesie were mercifully covered up. What bothered her most, though, was the wording on the front of the garment. Stitched in clear, large blue letters was the simple monogram “Baby Jackie.” Clearly, this was a custom article of clothing. In her size how could it not be. Jackie began to cry. She knew she was going out of the house, and now she knew she would be doing so in clothes that openly announced her status to anyone who took so much as a second glance at her. Her mother reacted quickly to her tears. Hugging her daughter, she cooed “Shh shh shh, baby, its ok, Mommy's here. Whats the matter diddums? Does baby need a bubba?” Tears came much less frequently now for Jackie, who had felt at least some of her embarrassment at her new station in life wear off as the novelty of it did as well. At first, almost every new humiliation that her parents had in store for her reduced her to sobs, but over time Jackie had reached a point where only extreme humiliation, a particularly severe punishment, or a notably depressing day could send her into such a spiral. Ever since the beginning though, her mother reacted the same way. She always behaved as if she had no idea what could be wrong, though it was almost always quite obvious what the problem was. Instead, she pretended that Jackie must simply be suffering from a problem that may make a baby cry. Diapers were always checked, and if they proved not to be the answer (they never did, as her mother was always fairly well aware of their state) then she would give Jackie a bottle under the assumption that she was hungry and/or thirsty. This time was no different. Jackie soon found herself, still sobbing, in her mother's lap as she sat in the oversized rocking chair in the corner of her room. Her mother positioned her head on her shoulder, with Jackie's diapered bottom on the chair just next to her legs. Removing Jackie's pacifier, she inserted a bottle into her waiting mouth. As Jackie's mother told her that she was her precious little baby, she did her best to calm down. She knew that continuing to cry through her bottle was likely to lead to a nap time under the assumption that her tears indicated tiredness, which was the last thing that she wanted, as she would simply be left to contemplate the daunting day ahead of her. Jackie had indeed finished crying by the time her bottle was empty. Her mother gave her a kiss and then popped her pacifier back in her mouth. She left Jackie on the rocking chair for a moment. When she returned, she carried a pink ribbon with a pin. She tied the open end of the ribbon to the loop on Jackie's pacifier, and pinned the other end of the ribbon to the part of her onesie that stuck out on top of the shoulder straps of her shortalls. “We don't want your paci to fall out in the car while mommy and daddy are in the front seats, and can’t help you, right baby?” was the explanation that her mother gave her. “Time to go to the car, princess!” her mother continued. With a distinct sense of dread, Jackie allowed herself to be lifted down from the rocking chair. She began to crawl into the hallway, and once again bumped her way down the stairs. Her mother seemed to forgive her slow pace this time. Jackie had only left the house on a handful of occasions since she had become the family baby once again, but she knew the drill. She crawled her way to the door in the kitchen that led to the garage. There, her mother opened the door (babies weren't allowed to open doors, as she had learned early on in her new life) and allowed Jackie to bump down the three more stairs that led to the garage floor. “Take Mommy's hand so you don't go boom and make an ouchie,” her mother commanded, standing her up. The hand she was offered was perhaps more welcome than her mother knew. On an average day, the only time Jackie ever stood was to be put into and taken out of her highchair and to be raised onto or off of the changing table. In both of these instances Jackie was to crawl to the very spot where she would need to be standing in order to take the step up into her babyish position, and so most days she didn't take a single step while standing. All of this meant that, while Jackie could still walk, she was significantly worse at it than she had been before the months of inactivity had diminished her balance. Though Jackie walked due to the dirty garage floor, she didn't walk far. It was less than ten steps to the car. When she got there, her mother quickly gave her a boost up into the back seat of the mid-sized SUV that she normally drove. Jackie wondered for a split second why they were not taking her father's car, which they usually took when going on longer trips, but her answer came just as quickly when she remembered that her custom-made, adult-sized car seat had been installed in the rear of her mother's car and was quite a hassle to remove. Despite her misgivings about the trip, Jackie obediently settled herself into the seat and allowed her mother to strap her in. The restraint was extremely snug, especially in the areas where it came into contact with her extra thick nighttime diaper. “All right baby, you're all nice and safe for our ride! We have quite the trip ahead of us! We're going all the way to a place called Maine for a family reunion! You'll get to meet all of your aunts and uncles and cousins! They'll think you're so cute! But we have a long ride ahead of us, so you need to be a patient baby while we drive, ok?” Jackie resented so much of what she was told. She resented being treated like she'd never heard of Maine. She resented the idea that she would be traveling strapped in this car seat for a minimum of ten or so hours, given that her family lived in Virginia and she had no idea how far into Maine they were going. Most of all though, she resented that her parents were very clearly intent not just on bringing her to a family reunion in diapers, but on displaying her in her fully babied state when they got there. As she was still processing what would be happening to her, her mother continued “Daddy and I need to finish packing the car, so you sit tight, and we'll get on the road in just a few minutes.” “As if I have any choice,” Jackie thought, though she continued to simply suck on her pacifier. About ten minutes later, after the trunk behind her had been opened and closed several times, her parents finally got into the car. As her dad started the car, Jackie noted that the clock on the dashboard read 8:30. This made sense to her, as she was pretty sure she was normally awoken at around 7:00 in the morning. “Great,” she thought, “best case scenario, we won't get there until at least 6:30. Just in time for dinner and my 8 o'clock bedtime. This is going to be an even more boring day than usual.” After a quick stop at a local gas station, during which Jackie felt glad for the Elmo-themed sunblocker that sat in her window but also had the benefit of preventing any acquaintances outside of the car from seeing her in her infantile state within, Jackie's family was on the road. The monotony quickly set in for Jackie. Her mother had played her a CD of lullabies over the car stereo, but given that she had only just woken up from her 11 hours of sleep, she was nowhere near able to sleep yet. About an hour and a half after they got on the road, her mother passed back a bottle to Jackie and told her to drink up. She did as she was told, and it was followed by a second, in keeping with her normal morning routine. Beyond that though, there was virtually nothing for Jackie to do. With her dread setting in, Jackie found herself reflecting on how she came to be in her position. She had never expected to find herself even living at home at this point, not to mention doing so as the family baby. Back in May, Jackie had finished her college career. She had graduated with honors and was looking forward to embarking on an exciting career. However, since she had gone to school several states away, and wanted to get a job closer to home, Jackie hadn't yet begun the process of applying for jobs. She was quite unworried though. She knew that she had solid credentials and her parents had agreed to allow her to live at home until she had landed a job, which Jackie expected would take no more than a month or so. Jackie had no idea that her parents had other plans for her. As an only child, they had always thought that she had grown up too fast. Beyond that, though, they had grown increasingly disappointed in her behavior throughout college. Unlike her parents, who were both very successful lawyers, Jackie had no interest in the law. This had been a source of tension with her parents. They were also disappointed with her inability to make lasting friends at college. She had been unable to even tolerate any of her roommates at school. While her parents had been supportive over the phone, it was clear to them that Jackie was the source of conflict in each case and they were unable to gently persuade her that she should change her ways. When Jackie had returned home, they had told her all of this, and concluded that Jackie was essentially an arrogant brat. In fairness to Jackie, this wasn't totally true. Jackie wasn't mean spirited, by any stretch of the imagination. She was difficult to get along with, but part of that was just that she was difficult to communicate with because she was something of a loner as a result of being an only child. She didn't consider herself to be arrogant. Instead, she considered herself to be smart enough that she always knew what was best. Still, Jackie was never allowed a rebuttal to her parents' criticisms. They told her that they wanted the perfect little angel back that they had once had, and that they were going to get it. Within an hour of Jackie's return to her house, she was led up to her old bedroom, which had been thoroughly converted into a nursery in her size. Jackie soon found herself strapped onto the changing table, sobbing and wearing a diaper. Her mother and father explained to her that life would be very different from the one she had left. At its core, she was to live as a baby of approximately one year old, with all the trappings that came with it. Diapers were to be used, baby clothes to be worn and baby food to be eaten, plus all of the other indignities that were to become part of her daily life. Most shocking to Jackie, her mother would be retiring from her job to become a stay-at-home mom to her baby. When she was able to think rationally about it, Jackie had realized how serious her parents were. They had spent a lot of money to acquire all of the custom-made items that Jackie's new life would require. Her mother had left her job as well. While her family could easily afford both of these measures, they indicated that her parents intended to keep her as a baby for an extended period of time. This, as much as the news itself, came to be what bothered her the most. The uncertainty of when, if ever, she would be allowed to grow up made Jackie feel extremely uneasy and made it hard for her to stay positive. She desperately wished to be allowed to grow up one day, but was often afraid that it would never happen. Within the first few days, Jackie began to get the hang of her new life. Two things immediately stuck out at her. The first was that being treated as a baby was extremely humiliating. Feedings, changes, baths, outfits and bedtimes all made her blush furiously and, at first, often reduced her to tears or petulant fits. The second thing that she realized was just how boring being a baby was. Jackie spent hour after hour in her playpen, sometimes without even seeing her mother for more than an hour at a time. She was sometimes allowed to watch a lone episode children's television, but even then the most mature shows she was allowed to watch were taped episodes of Teletubbies, which was infinitely below her years and totally boring to her. When the television was off, only a few dolls and blocks were available to her, none of which really provided her any entertainment, even when her mother took them in her hands and played with them in front of Jackie's face while assigning them annoying, babyish voices. In the beginning, Jackie had fiercely resisted her role as the family baby. This didn't last long, however. Every time that she acted out, her parents found a way to punish her. The punishments were truly unbearable. Her parents never spanked her, except for a light swat on the outside of a diaper to correct the most minor of offenses. In truth, Jackie would probably have preferred to be spanked. Her parents instead gave her punishments designed to increase her boredom. Sometimes she was given extended naps or much earlier bedtimes. Early in her new life, Jackie had once found herself in her crib for the night at three thirty in the afternoon, which meant that she had been forced to lie there for 16 mind-numbing hours. That punishment was even worse then, because Jackie had not yet been able to adjust her sleep schedule and hadn't managed to fall asleep until close to 10 o'clock, more than six hours since she had first been put down for the night. Another hated punishment was a seemingly simple timeout. At first, Jackie had been forced to sit on a low stool during timeouts while facing the corner. However, her parents found that unless they sat there for the duration of her timeout, which for Jackie was normally at least 30 minutes and sometimes much, much longer, Jackie would simply try to get up in an act of further rebellion. They quickly put a stop to this by buying what Jackie considered to be the most horrible invention of all time. It was a baby bouncer that hung from the ceiling, but it was designed for adult-sized babies. During time outs, Jackie now found herself suspended from the ceiling for up to several hours at a time, with literally nothing to do and nowhere to go. Her first trip to the bouncer, which had lasted 90 minutes, left Jackie sobbing for more than an hour and vowing to herself that she would be good from now on. That had not happened, of course, but her obedience had improved significantly from that moment forward. Looking back, it seemed to Jackie that she had settled into her life as a baby with an alarming speed. Within little more than two weeks, she had basically accepted her new life and grown accustomed to it. She realized that much of this owed to the fact that, for the most part, she ran on a simple daily routine of meals, bottle feedings, play time, and bed times, with little that ever interrupted it. This made Jackie somewhat numb to the ordeal that she was going through and sped up the process of accepting it. About the only time Jackie's day ever changed was when she had a “play date.” She had had four thus far, all with the same girl. That girl, Stephanie, was two years older than Jackie, and had been being treated like a baby by her parents for over four years. Jackie could never figure out how her parents had ever discovered such a playmate for her, as she had never met Stephanie and lived almost an hour away from her. Jackie had twice been to Stephanie's house, and twice Stephanie had visited hers'. Each time had been incredibly awkward for the two girls. They were expected to kiss each other fully on the lips as a way of greeting each other, and then Jackie had to endure a round of kisses from Stephanie's nanny (a babysitter only slightly older than the two babies actually were who Stephanie's parents had hired to watch over their oversized bundle of joy while they were at work) while Stephanie was similarly doted on by Jackie's mother. After that, the two were expected to play with each other while sharing a playpen. This often proved to be incredibly frustrating, however, as while it was the rare time that either of them was encouraged to speak (at least while providing voices for their dolls), neither of them could really say anything intelligible from behind their oversized pacifiers, which they were still forced to suck even as they played. The result was that the girls had to endure a few awkward hours of babbling at each other before being fed lunch. After that, they would inevitably find themselves cuddling in a crib where they were to remain absolutely silent and take a nap, each all too aware of the presence of another in a bed that was normally the site of solitary confinement. After nap time, the play date would always end with another round of humiliatingly mushy kisses and then a long trip back home in a tight car seat for whichever girl was visiting on that day. Though Jackie didn't mind the idea of a change in routine in theory, in practice she always found it exhausting and couldn't wait until it was over. Jackie had been absentmindedly reminiscing for over an hour when she was interrupted by the car slowing down and entering into a small roadside picnic area that also included restrooms. She realized that if her parents had talked over the decision in the front seat, she had totally missed it. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was just past noon, and Jackie surmised that it may be lunchtime. She hadn't really even thought of how that would work. All of Jackie's consternation had been reserved for the specter of a diaper change on the road. Quickly though, she realized that despite her diaper that seemed to be nowhere near the point where she would be changed, this too would be quite an ordeal. Fortunately for Jackie, only a few cars seemed to have chosen this secluded rest stop for their break on the road. Her parents each took a turn visiting the restroom, while the other babbled nonsense to Jackie, asking her if she knew how cute she was and whether she was ready to eat a yummy lunch. Although the answer to the latter question was a resounding “no” in Jackie's head, she soon saw her mother preparing a picnic table on the far end of the rest stop from her vantage point in the car seat. Before long, both parents were out of the car and rummaging in the trunk. After what seemed like a surprisingly long time, Jackie's father opened the back door of the car and unbuckled his oversized toddler. As he slid Jackie out of the seat and moved her towards the door, she began to realize what had taken so long. Jackie was surprised to see an adult-sized stroller waiting for her on the ground. This was another item making its debut on the trip. Before she had even finished processing the device, Jackie was seated inside of it. The canopy top may have protected her from the sun somewhat, but it felt to her like it couldn't have done less to conceal its occupant from any outside gazes. To her relief, none of the few other people seemed to pay any attention to their party at all, and her disgraceful new ride was, at least for now, kept as her little secret. Jackie was pushed over to the secluded picnic table that her mother had chosen, and the stroller was situated so that it was facing the end of one of the benches. Within seconds a totally nondescript bib had been fastened around Jackie's neck, and she realized that she was about to be fed while still in her stroller. “This will be interesting,” thought Jackie, noting that the stroller had her facing upwards in an effort to keep her low to the ground without forcing her to drag her feet. Indeed, it was interesting. In addition to being a cold feed, since her mother was unable to heat up the disgusting blend of beef and vegetables baby food as she normally would have at home, the angle seemed to throw off the coordination of mommy and baby, resulting in an even more messy face than Jackie was accustomed to. Other than that though, the feed was pleasant enough, and Jackie ultimately suffered no more indignity outside than she would have had she been inside, though the worry that she would kept her constantly on edge. Only after she had finished the bottle that her mother held with one hand while eating a sandwich with the other did Jackie's anxiety truly begin to subside. Her parents finished their food, and soon Jackie had been cleaned up and pushed back to the car. After a quick diaper check confirmed that she had a few hours of safety left, Jackie was returned to her car seat and her parents began to reload the car for the next leg of the journey. As the car rejoined the light traffic on the freeway, Jackie was reminded by her mommy that it was nap time and that she should go to sleep. In reality, Jackie needed no reminder. She resented the naps, especially since she also spent about 11 hours in bed each night, but Jackie had also learned to sleep during them. Like a baby, Jackie now truly needed to nap during the day, or else she wouldn't make it all the way through the night. With the relatively happy thoughts of her embarrassment-free lunch still in her head, Jackie quickly drifted into a docile sleep. A little over an hour and a half later, Jackie was lightly stirred by her mother, who had reached an arm back from the back seat. As Jackie groggily rubbed her eyes, her mother said “Wakey-Wakey, beautiful. Mommy doesn't want you to sleep too long and ruin your night time sleep.” Just a moment later, Jackie was passed a bottle to drink. Normally she would have had that bottle in her crib while her mother cuddled her and woke her up, but this was obviously impossible in the car. Instead, Jackie fed herself the dreadful formula and wished there was a way to be able to avoid just such a thing. Traffic seemed to still be moving well enough, and Jackie saw that it was about 2:15 on the car clock. She couldn't figure out where they were based on road signs because of the screen on the window, but Jackie guessed that they must be making good time. Jackie wasn't really sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It was only a few minutes after her bottle that her father pulled the car off into a rest area. Jackie wasn't totally sure what the reason could be for this stop. When she realized that this was simply a parking area and that there weren't any restrooms here for her parents to use, she was even more confused. Her mother got out of the car and went into the trunk, but was only there for a second. Before Jackie could figure out where she had gone, the door nearest to her seat was opened and her father began to get her out of the car. “What's going on?” thought Jackie, still a little groggy from sleep. This time, as she was helped down, Jackie saw that there was no stroller for her to be placed in, which she considered a mercy, even though the parking area was completely deserted and she was unlikely to be seen by anyone but the motorists passing several hundred feet away on the highway. Just two steps around the car made Jackie forget her sense of comfort, and if it hadn't been for her dad's suddenly tight grip on her hand and her wobbly, unused legs, Jackie might have tried to run back around to the other side of the car. Her mother was standing at a nearby picnic table, and laid out on the table was her changing mat, along with a fresh diaper and all the supplies needed to change Jackie into it. Jackie's dad practically dragged her the remaining few steps to the table, and a quick warning spank was needed before she could be boosted up onto the table. The idea of an outdoor change, even in this relatively anonymous location, had Jackie petrified, and she found herself in tears for the second time that day. Both of her parents were cooing at her, but it was her mother that she heard clearly. “Now, now, baby, its time for our little princess to have her diaper changed. We don't want you to get a leak and ruin your pretty clothes and make your car seat all wet, do we?” Though Jackie was used to being changed, the process was particularly horrible this time. Soon, the snaps on each of her layers of clothing had been unbuckled. With the diaper now on display, Jackie was a wreck, barely even able to see out of her sobbing eyes. When that diaper was opened and Jackie was exposed to the open air, she froze. Her focus was on the road, and the entrance into the parking area. Jackie lost all perspective, and as her mother wiped the excess urine off of her diaper area and dropped the wipes into the used diaper, she was certain that every car on the road could not only see her, but could tell that she was far too old to be in need of a diaper change from her mother on the side of the road. The change itself was actually quite efficient, but to Jackie, it took an eternity. Her mother's thorough powdering was taking forever in her eyes, and even after she was mercifully taped back in to another thick disposable (an experience she never thought she would consider merciful), she wished her mother would hurry up and button her back in to the comparatively less embarrassing baby clothes. Finally, Jackie was boosted up off of the table. Her mother escorted her back to the car, while her father disposed of the sodden diaper and gathered up the supplies and returned them to her diaper bag. Less than ten minutes after they had entered the rest area, they were back on the road. As they re-entered the highway, Jackie felt herself let out a small, involuntary stream of urine, and silently cursed herself for being unable to enjoy the luxury of a dry seat for even a few minutes. The afternoon portion of the ride soon proved to be the most monotonous for Jackie. She would have liked to have had at least a stupid baby toy to play with in the back of the car, but all she could do was stare at the back of her mother's seat, as the screen that shielded her eyes from the sun also served to prevent her from being able to even so much as stare out the window. At this point, Jackie's mind was filled with nothing but dread. She had been to one family reunion several years prior, and if this was to be anything like that experience, she worried about what to expect. Given that they were on their way to Maine, she was almost sure that they would be visiting with her father's side of the family, who almost all hailed from that state. She vividly remembered that, at the last reunion, she had been the youngest person there at age twelve. This owed to the fact that her father was about five years younger than each of his siblings and cousins. All of them had had children a little earlier than her parents had had Jackie, as well, so the result was that all of the other youths at that reunion had been at least in their mid-teens. Jackie wondered if they would all be in attendance now, in their mid-twenties, or if they would be off living lives of their own. She also couldn't help but fear that she would be viciously made fun of by those closest to her own actual age, as they would see her as a weak excuse for an adult who was entirely worthy of their mockery. All of this dread made the time pass very slowly. The two bottles that she was given in quick succession around three o'clock didn't really help time pass any slower, though they did remind Jackie just how much she hated baby formula. She found herself praying for a distraction. Perhaps if Jackie had thought about who might hear those prayers, she would have thought twice about making them. If anybody was watching over her very closely, it seemed to her that they had a sick sense of humor to allow her to be converted so thoroughly into the infantile creature she had become. The distraction she was sent confirmed that the joke really was on her. Only a few minutes after Jackie finished the second of her bottles and once again was commanded to begin sucking on the giant nipple of the pacifier dangling from her shirt, a familiar and dreaded pressure took hold in Jackie's abdomen. Immediately, she knew that she was in deep trouble. “I can't! Not here, in this tiny little car seat! I have to hold it!” she thought. Even as she thought it though, Jackie knew that it was basically no use. She knew that at this point, by the time she knew that she had a problem, she didn't have much time left. Unlike her bladder, Jackie still retained a semblance of control over her bowels. However, had she been allowed to not use her diaper, she imagined that her level of control would be similar to that of a beginning potty-trainer, who needed to be rushed to the bathroom as soon as they asked in order to prevent an accident. In the desperate fight against time, time won. Within about ten minutes of increasingly agonizing pressure, Jackie's will to fight broke. She knew, however, that this would be as difficult of a mess as there was, as she was secured tightly to her seat and had no way to shift so that she could raise a leg. Jackie pushed, and hard. When Jackie let out a rather loud, involuntary grunt, the idle conversation between her parents in the front seat ended abruptly. Fortunately for Jackie, she was so focused that she didn't really notice the small chuckles that her beet red face earned. The floodgates took a few moments to open. They finally did so with a pair of short, noisy farts that Jackie was decidedly not too focused to miss. Her embarrassment continued to grow as the quiet sound of several gushes of a soft, mushy mess slid into her diaper. One more push sent a final wave into the seat of her pants, and Jackie's exhausted body relaxed back, sinking her into her own filth. It was obvious that Jackie's parents were well aware what had happened, but they let the moment breathe for a moment. Finally, her mother asked what might have been the most unnecessary question possible. “Did my baby make a stinky in her diapee? Pee-Whew, I think so! Somebody is a smelly baby!” This was practically a routine when Jackie was discovered to have messed herself, but that didn't make it any easier for Jackie to bear. There was still no end to her embarrassment when she found herself declared a stinky baby while sitting in a diaper full of her own poop. A moment later, her father said, “Can you stand it well enough?” “Yes,” her mother said, “if you can. We only just changed her into this diaper an hour and a half ago, and if she hadn't made a mess she could have lasted until Maine. She can wait a little while anyways.” “Sounds good,” her dad answered. “Great,” Jackie thought. “A poopy diaper for as long as they wish, and then the worst change of my life!” As the poop cooled and began to itch, not to mention smell, Jackie thought about just how much she hated messing her diapers. It had most definitely been the hardest part of her terrible new life to accept. She had resisted all pooping for the first three days of her babyhood, and tried to remove her diaper when she finally did need to give in to the urge. She had been caught, and put into locking plastic pants on that occasion, then been forced to take an extended nap in freshly messed diapers before finally being changed. The experience had taught her that she was best off not trying to avoid using her diaper, because she would only wind up wearing her waste for longer. Still, while Jackie had accepted that she would need to mess eventually, at first she had held out for as long as possible before doing the dirty deed. She only messed a few huge messes the first week or two, as she continued to hold on for as long as she could. Slowly, though, that changed. She had become somewhat accustomed to the messes and the humiliating changes that always followed, and she didn't see the need to strain so heavily to keep her urges held back. Additionally, the consistency of her poop had forced her hand somewhat. Her diet, which consisted of literally nothing that needed to be chewed, turned her mess into a far more liquidy beast than it had been during her adult life. Not only did this make her poop start to smell much more like that of a real baby's than that of an adult, but it also made it even harder to hold on for days at a time. Over time, she returned to the one-mess-a-day pattern that she had normally held during her previous life. But even that didn't hold. In part because Jackie made increasingly less of an effort to hold on when she felt the need, she found that almost as often as not she now found herself in a messy diaper twice a day instead of her usual once. She told herself that this was due to the fact that she was fed more food than she had been eating when she had made her own choices, which had an element of truth to it, but much of it had to do with a steady loss of control, which was a fact she denied to herself. Jackie really, really hated “having stinkies,” as her mother often called a messy diaper. She tried to do it when she was alone in a room as often as possible, because the act of pooping herself in front of others was still too much to bear easily. When her mother did discover a mess in her pants, however, she always seemed to suddenly be quite busy. Even when she had, to her great shame, messed during one of her play dates, she had stayed seated in her smelly prison for over a half an hour, and while it had been a little shorter than the average amount of time that she was left to stew before she was cleaned up, she had been mortified, though later she had still felt superior to Stephanie when she had messed herself during naptime and had stunk up the crib to the point that Jackie could hardly sleep. The mess had long since cooled and become itchy by the time Jackie felt the car once again slowing down and pulling into a highway rest area. She had actually been glad the first time they had passed a rest stop, because she had realized that it was one of the ones that had gas stations and food options and was so crowded that she would have been entirely sure to have been seen. But as other, quieter rest areas had passed without a stop, she had become increasingly despondent. She desperately wanted to be changed before they got to the reunion, but it seemed like it was possible that that luxury was not coming. As they pulled into a parking spot in the mostly empty parking lot, however, the knot in Jackie's stomach simply changed purpose. She was still filled with dread, but now it was because she knew she would be changed from a messy diaper in an at least somewhat public setting. She knew that messy changes were not at all like wet changes. They were slow, owing to the way that feces caked all over her diaper area, and required even more time in the humiliatingly-exposed, legs-up position. When Jackie was pulled out of the car, she looked around for the picnic table she would be led to, but never found it. Instead, she was lead around to the tailgate of the SUV and lifted up, leading to one final, disgusting squishing of her mess around her diaper before she was laid back on the changing mat, which had been placed in a small opening in the trunk just big enough for her upper body to fit in. “Change time, princess!” her father announced, as if it were not the most obvious statement in human history. Her mother did the actual changing. Jackie's diaper was soon opened, and the momentous task of wiping her filthy, smelly anus began. Jackie was unsure whether she felt better or worse being unable to see outside the car past her mother. She knew for sure, though, that her legs and some of her bottom were on display out of the back of the car. That made her uncomfortable for sure, but she could allow herself to think that she may have looked a little more like any other baby from this angle. The wiping finally ended, and after a thorough powdering, another diaper was taped up. For the first time that day, Jackie found herself only wearing a daytime diaper. While it was still quite thick and very noticeable under her clothing, it was not even close to how thick the billowing nighttime diapers were. Jackie felt fortunate to know that the first time she met her family at the reunion her diapers would at the very least not make her bottom look almost twice its normal size. As she got out of the trunk and back to her feet, she realized that, from afar, her change had just been watched by an astonished young couple, perhaps a year or two older than her at most, who appeared to have been hiking in the woods before returning to their car. The male cried out “Cute baby! Isn't she a little big though?!” from across the lot. “We've got our hands full!” her mother responded, as her husband buckled a mortified Jackie back into her car seat. “Big baby, big poopies!” Jackie had perhaps never been more embarrassed in her life. Tears came cascading down her face as her parents disposed of the dirty diaper and got into the car. The tears earned Jackie little more than a shushing and bottle of nasty formula, and Jackie wished for all she was worth that the world would open up and swallow her. “Just another hour and a half until we get there baby!” her father explained, making it clear Jackie was supposed to be excited. Jackie looked at the clock, and saw that it was about 5:15. She still didn't know exactly where they were going, but she could now guess that it was very close to her grandparents house. She remembered that when her family had last held a reunion they had rented out a very large house where everyone had stayed. She guessed that this would be the case this time as well. The imminent arrival would give her a much better idea of what to expect, though, and she was particularly in the dark as to how her status as a baby might impact her trip. The final stretch of the ride actually passed a little faster than the rest of the trip had for Jackie, mostly because she was distracted with her thoughts of her latest diaper change. She could not shake the fact that a couple of her approximate age, and especially a fairly attractive young man, had seen her compliantly lie still while her exposed privates were wiped clean of poop. Thinking about the past made her temporarily forget her dread of the future, and Jackie was surprised that they were so near when they got off the highway an hour later. It was still another twenty minutes before they finally arrived, but by then the dread had set back in for Jackie, and she was officially back to wanting to be anywhere else in the world. “We're here, baby!” her mother explained as she removed Jackie from the car seat and, oddly in Jackie's opinion, set her straight down into her new stroller. “Here” turned out to be a very large, lakeside building that had a massive front yard. The stroller started to make a little more sense when Jackie saw that she would be pushed several hundred feet up the hill from where the car was parked to where the house was actually located. “Now, princess,” her father said, bending down to put his face right in hers, “Daddy knows that this is a very exciting weekend for you, but you need to be on your best behavior for Mommy and Daddy or you will be in very big trouble. Is that understood, little girl?” This was one of the questions that Jackie was trained to answer. “Yeth Daddy, me am gonna be a puhfect angel,” she lisped from behind her pacifier, though the promise was nothing more than what she was required to say. The stroller ride took a minute or two. A few feet before the door, Jackie's grandmother and aunt came out to greet them. “Hi!” the two women shouted in unison. “Hey Mom, hey Sally, it’s great to see you!” her dad answered. Hugs were exchanged, and her mother also shared greetings. For just a moment, Jackie thought that she was going to be ignored, but she was not so lucky. Suddenly, from behind her, Aunt Sally emerged, and then she was not only not being ignored, but the center of attention. “Hellll-o Baby Jackie,” she bellowed, no more than three inches from her face. “It's your Auntie Sally! It's so exciting to see you, cutie-pie! We all love you very much!” Then she plopped a loud, wet kiss on Jackie's face. The exercise was repeated by her grandmother, and then her mother reached around and removed her enormous pacifier. “Give nana and auntie a kiss, baby,” her mother instructed. Jackie, of course, was still strapped into the stroller, so she had to wait for each of the women to come to her. When they did, in turn, Jackie pressed her lips against them, and pushed her tongue out while sort of half-shouting “mmmmmm-aah!” as she had been taught to do when ordered to kiss someone. Both women positively squealed at the kiss. “Oh my goodness!” exclaimed her aunt. “She kisses just like a real baby!” “She is a real baby,” her mother responded, “in every way you can imagine. She's our beautiful little bundle of joy.” “I can think of a few ways I'm different than a real baby,” Jackie thought, but even if she had actually wished to offer that opinion, she wouldn't have been able to, because her mother pushed the pacifier back into her mouth. “Let's head inside,” her father said. “We don't want the baby to catch a cold.” Jackie was pushed the last few steps to the house, and then was unbuckled from the stroller. She was lifted up under the shoulders by her dad, took one step up over the threshold, and then, without needing to be told, immediately dropped to her knees. “That's so adorable! Does she always crawl?” asked her grandmother. “Of course, just like any other baby,” her mother responded. “I love how her cute little diapered butt waddles back and forth when she crawls,” her aunt said. “So cute.” Jackie's face was turning beet red, but since she was facing the floor it wasn't totally clear to the others in the room. She wasn't really sure where she was going, so she slowed herself as she reached the end of the entry hallway. “I'll show you to your room so you can get all settled,” said her grandmother. “That would be great, Helen.” her mother responded. “Do you mind watching the baby for a minute while we bring everything in?” “I'd love to! Feel free to run back out to the car if you need to too. I've got the baby. Don't I Jackie? I think I do. I think I do.” Jackie wished the floor would swallow her, but it of course did not. As everyone else left the room, her grandmother crossed over to the sofa and beckoned her to her. Jackie crawled over to her grandmother. A pat on her knee and a pair of hands under the shoulders told Jackie to climb up onto her grandmother's lap. When she sat there, she realized just how close her face was to her grandmother's. The ridiculousness of the situation was driven home when she saw that she was a head taller than her grandmother when sitting on her lap. Even still, any thought of defiance melted away in shame almost instantly when two fingers went probing into the front of her diaper. “Oops,” announced her grandmother. “Somebody has had a little accident.” Jackie just continued to suck on her pacifier. She hated to admit it, but the pacifier had become a source of comfort for her over her second period as a baby. It allowed her an excuse to say nothing (not that she was really allowed to) and made it possible for her to focus on something other than her moments of most extreme humiliation, even if the coping method was admittedly shameful in itself. Still, in times like these when she had nowhere to hide, it somehow made time move a little faster. She endured many kisses and cheek pinches from her grandmother, but before she knew it her mother came into the room and declared themselves ready to give the baby a nice feed before bathtime and bedtime. After a quick crawl to the kitchen, Jackie stood up and prepared to get into the highchair. Only then did she realize that her parents must have ensured that there was a highchair present for her. The knowledge that even while they were away from home her parents were this concerned about such details made Jackie sick. As she climbed in, another aspect of the highchair struck her. It was meant for real babies! Jackie didn't really realize it at first, but her mother had to sort of push her in in order for her diapered hips to squeeze into the seat. The strap had to be loosened all the way to fit her, and the tray could barely reach the locking mechanism, and even then was making Jackie feel like her stomach was much bigger than it truly was. When she was settled, she realized that her toes were very close to reaching the ground, which was never true in her much larger version of baby furniture at home. The feeding was at once no different than any other and as humiliating as any Jackie had ever experienced. She choked down the usual concoction of atrocious baby foods, had the same amount of it spilled down her face, and got all of the usual comments that her mother always made. It was the peanut gallery that made her so dreadfully uncomfortable. The comments about the faces she made when the food hit her tongue, about how messy of a little girl she was, how adorable she looked and how obedient she was that rang out from her aunt and grandmother were all enough to make it quite clear that this was no normal supper that could have happened at home. All through the bottle feeding that followed, during which both her grandmother and her aunt had the opportunity to hold the drink up while Jackie sat helplessly, her father answered all questions and comments as if he were some sort of tour guide for the dinner. All of his answers, of course, seemed designed to emphasize that Jackie was a baby, and that her actions were just like those of any other baby as well. After the fuss of dinner, Jackie was exceedingly grateful for the relative privacy of bathtime. Only she and her mother retreated into a bathroom near the room her parents would be staying in, though Jackie suspected that this privacy was not due with a desire to provide Jackie with modesty as much as it was because the bathroom hardly had room to lay her down and take off her clothes and wet diaper without any other visitors. The bath moved quickly enough, with her mother doing a thorough but efficient job washing Jackie, just as she did every night. As she began to drain the tub, her mother looked down at Jackie, tweaked her pacifier, and told her “I know it's a few minutes earlier than normal, but as soon as you are dressed and everyone has said goodnight, you are going to go to bed, baby. You've had a long day, and you have another exciting adventure ahead of you tomorrow.” If she had expected that Jackie would be upset, Jackie couldn't really understand why. She didn't really know what time it was, but guessed it was really only a few minutes early. Besides, Jackie was indeed emotionally spent and wouldn't mind being able to get away from all of the attention she was facing by retreating to bed. She had just been glad for the second bath that had earlier apparently been in doubt. She was helped out of the tub and onto the changing mat. After being quickly taped into yet another nighttime diaper, the fourth she had worn at some point that day, she was told to get up. Her mother led her out into the hall. To her horror, instead of being lead into whatever room would be serving as her nursery, she was lead back into the kitchen still as naked as the day she was born with the exception of her diaper, although she was certainly a little more self conscious of her breasts than she had been more than two decades earlier during her true infancy. “The pizza is almost here, honey,” her father said. “Has baby Jackie come to say goodnight?” “Yes she has,” her mother answered. “Get up on just your knees, baby. Everyone is going to give you a kiss, and then I'm going to get you ready for beddy-byes.” Reluctantly, Jackie did as she was told. On all fours, at least her boobs had been somewhat concealed. Kneeling like this made them totally exposed, although if anyone besides her noticed in the slightest they did a convincing job hiding it. Soon she was back on her hands and crawling back down the hall once more, having been kissed condescendingly on the top of the head and told that she should rest up for what promised to be an exciting day to come. “Exciting for everyone except me,” Jackie had thought, but she certainly kept that thought to herself. Jackie was a little surprised to be led into her parents' room. She was never allowed into her parents' room at home, and was told that she could only go into rooms that were safe for little girls, which her parents' room apparently was not somehow. She assumed this exception must be because her suitcase was in the room, but when she got in there another surprise awaited. Sitting at the foot of the bed was a small, baby sized portable playpen/crib that Jackie recognized acted as something of a traveling crib for infants. To her mind, it was impossibly small, but she immediately had no doubt where she would be spending the night. She was half lifted, half dragged onto the bed by her mother. There she had a footed sleeper, which seemed too warm to Jackie, put on her. It was quickly followed by what she knew would be the last of her daily bottles of the sickly baby formula, in case there wasn't enough that would already be finding its way into her diaper over the course of the night. After the bottle, it was down from the bed directly into the “safe bed” as her mother decided to call it, as if Jackie needed the clarification between the two to be made. The portable crib was just as tiny as it looked. From the slight wobble it made when she entered it, Jackie could tell it was on wheels. Jackie had no chance of getting comfortable. She lied on her stomach, which was how she was always told to lie, ostensibly so that she wouldn't spit up in her mouth and choke, like other small babies might. Given that this wouldn't be an issue with Jackie, it was just another way to make her seem like a baby. Tonight, with only about three and a half feet of length in her crib instead of the normal six, she had it even worse. With her head all the way at the top of the pillow, she still had to bow her knees all the way out to the side of the crib in order to fit lengthwise, and she was thankful for the soft sides of the crib for a little extra leeway. This position didn't last however. Her mother couldn't get her swaddled in her enormous baby blanket the way she normally did, so she commanded that Jackie get onto her side and into a rather tight fetal position. From there, she was able to provide her normal wrapping job on Jackie. As usual, it was uncomfortably tight. Jackie spent all of her nights essentially unable to move. It was normally a good deal looser by morning, but Jackie was, and no doubt on purpose, essentially unable to move before she fell asleep each night. Tonight, she could tell, would be especially uncomfortable. The position was worsened by the fact that the sleeper was too warm and, combined with the blanket, Jackie figured to be even warmer than she normally was during sleep, which she already considered to be too hot. “Nighty-night, baby Jackie,” her mother said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Mommy and Daddy will be in in a little while to go to bed too, but we will do our best not to wake up our little sleepyhead. Sweet dreams!” Jackie fell asleep quickly, but her dreams were not exactly sweet. She dreamed that she was an adult again, wandering around the reunion as any other family member would. At first, this made it a good dream. But, as she was interacting with cousins, aunts and uncles, she quite suddenly became the focus of attention. Her dream-self looked down and was greeted with the sight of a growing wet spot on the front of her stylish, white shorts. Quickly, the looks turned to taunts and she was told to go find her mommy and called a baby. Jackie awoke with a start. The warmth in her damp diaper told her that the accident in her dream might not have actually been fiction. She was hot, cramped, and unable to move, just as she had been when she had fallen asleep. Jackie knew it was going to be a few moments before she could get back to sleep. The dream had rattled her a bit. It seemed even her subconscious didn't think she could handle being an adult. If she couldn't convince herself, she mused, how could she ever convince her parents that she was ready to be a big girl again? Jackie couldn't tell what time it was, but she sensed that it must be sometime in the dead of night, based upon the total lack of light and the rhythmic breathing she could hear coming from the bed above her. The room was much darker than she was used to, as her nursery at home contained a small nightlight. At first that had driven her crazy, as she didn't really like light while she slept, and she certainly didn't appreciate being told that it was there so she wouldn't be afraid of the dark, but she was now used to it, and she was somewhat surprised by her eyes inability to adjust. Ultimately, both the nightmare and the discomforting lack of light were no match for Jackie's tiredness, and the next thing that she knew she was being woken up to the sound of her mother's morning cooing. She began to unwrap Jackie from the tight blanket as Jackie muttered out her groggy “Good morning, Mommy,” which came as a great relief for Jackie. Once she was freed from the blanket, she was boosted up and onto the bed. Jackie felt tremendously sweaty. As she stretched her legs out, she felt very stiff as well, no doubt a result of her tight sleeping quarters. Jackie had little time to get comfortable, as her mother slid her right back down onto the floor, and in one motion she found herself on all fours. In no time, she was crawling out into the hallway behind her mother. Entering the kitchen, Jackie was greeted with the hellos of her father, aunt and grandmother. She lisped out “hewwo ewybawdy” from behind her pacifier in response, which seemed to to satisfy everyone. Soon Jackie was lifted up into the highchair and the tray was stuffed into the locking mechanism tight against Jackie's chest. The microwave was soon at work heating her oatmeal. Her aunt brought over a bib, and after a quick kiss on the top of the head, moved around Jackie's back and fastened it around her neck. Her aunt crossed the kitchen and removed the oatmeal from the microwave. She grabbed Jackie's baby spoon and moved back over to the highchair. Jackie quickly realized that it wouldn't be her mother who would be feeding her this morning. “Open up for the airplane!” her aunt commanded, which Jackie was already obediently doing. The feeding was really quite like normal. Her aunt made sure she ate it all, except for the portion that she made sure wound up on Jackie's face and bib. She kept the food coming at a relatively quick rate, and continued to keep up a constant chatter of coos about Jackie's status as a baby. Despite all of the ways that the feeding was similar to what it would have been like had it been her mother, the fact that it was not kept Jackie squirming with humiliation throughout the ordeal. Finally, she reached the end of the bowl of mush. Two bottles were quickly brought over, and Jackie got another kiss on the forehead from her aunt as she tipped back her neck and pushed the nipple into her still-messy mouth. As Jackie began to suck, her father made the announcement she had been dreading. “Looks like Bill and Sarah are here!” he said. Bill was his brother, making him Jackie's uncle and his wife Sarah her aunt. Jackie had always particularly liked Aunt Sarah, and really didn't want to be seen by her like this. Her instincts told her to try to wriggle away from the bottle, even though she was strapped in the highchair and didn't really have anywhere to go, but her aunt was ready for her anyway. She held the bottle tight and put her spare hand on the back of Jackie's head, keeping her in the humiliating suckling position, and quietly said “Don't worry baby, you just drink your milk. Uncle Bill and Auntie Sarah will be here in a minute and you can see them then.” Trapped, Jackie did as she was told. The rest of the family started to move outside to greet her aunt and uncle. Jackie was just starting her second bottle when everybody came in. “Oh there she is!” her aunt exclaimed. “You're so cute! I'm your Auntie Sarah, Baby!” Sarah planted a kiss on Jackie's head, and Jackie wanted to melt at the way her aunt acted as if she was a newborn that she was meeting for the first time. It only got worse when Sarah's next comment, which was directed at her mother and seemed to assume that Jackie was too little to understand, reminded her that her face was still a mess from her oatmeal. With little other choice, Jackie, slurped down the rest of her formula. The commotion meant that it was actually another minute or two after she finished before her Aunt Sally realized that she had finished. She set the bottle on the tray of the highchair and used the clean spots of Jackie's bib to wipe the loose oatmeal off of Jackie's face. She removed the bib and brought it, along with the dishes, over to the sink. Her mother took over, using a baby wipe to thoroughly clean the stickiness off of her face and then removed the tray from the chair. She unbuckled her daughter and helped her down to the floor. As Jackie dropped to her knees, her mother told her “I have the most wonderful new dress for you to wear today for when you meet them! Let's go get you out of your diapee and make you look like a pretty little angel!” “Perfect,” thought Jackie. “I can't wait to look like an angel when I meet everyone.” She didn't say that out loud, of course, as she wasn't expected to say anything and certainly wasn't allowed to let fly with such sarcasm. Instead she obediently began crawling down the hall and back to the room she had shared with her parents the night before. Once she reached the room, her mother motioned for her to move towards the bed, giving her a boost when she got there to help her up. Jackie lied there while her mother rustled in a bag below the bed. She soon returned to view, and Jackie saw that she had in her hands wipes, powder, a diaper, and a changing pad. She put the changing pad and supplies down next to Jackie and helped her sit back up on the bed. Her mother took off her footed sleeper and set it aside, leaving Jackie in just her diaper as she was guided onto the changing pad. It wasn't long before the diaper was gone as well, and Jackie was soon being wiped and powdered by her mother, who then expertly diapered her once more before returning to the suitcase below the bed. Jackie scarcely had time to reflect on how she was simply lying on the bed and waiting to be humiliatingly dressed for her humiliating day before her mother returned, holding an armful of clothes that Jackie knew were destined to wind up on her. The clothes were put down above her head so she couldn't see them, and she had to wait for them to be put on to catch a glimpse. “You're going to look so adorable, little one!” her mother commented as she brought the first item to the foot of the bed. It was a simple pair of white tights, which were quickly slid up Jackie's legs and stretched over her diaper. Next came a pair of frilly panties that went over the tights and settled over the diaper. The panties themselves were white, but both the front and back featured layers of blue, lacy frills that rendered most of the white invisible. The tights were followed with the main attraction: a blue dress that clearly had been made to match the panties. Her mother sat her up, and the dress was pulled down over Jackie's head, and she had an opportunity to take in the dress for the first time. It had white shoulder panels that gathered to an elastic only a few inches into the sleeve, creating a distinct, babyish puff. It hugged her upper torso somewhat tightly, but fell away off her chest in baby-doll style. But, Jackie noticed, it didn't fall far. Sitting still and straight upright, it still barely came to her waistline. Jackie was sure that all of the frills on her panties would be on display even when she was at her most modest, and knew that even those frills would do nothing to hide the bulge of the thirsty diaper that was concealed underneath them. Jackie could feel her mother pull her hair into a ponytail behind her, which was surprising, given that she normally found herself wearing pigtails to accentuate her childish status. But before Jackie had had much time to wonder what the ponytail meant, she got her answer. She felt something pulled over her head, and then her mother was tying a bow underneath her chin. Jackie could see above her a blue brim turning into white lace, and knew she had just been tied into an oversized bonnet that not only made her look even more ridiculous than she already did, but also served to limit her peripheral vision somewhat and make her feel even more useless than usual. Still, her outfit wasn't quite complete. Her mother added a pair of frilly socks that went over her tights and came up to her ankles, and added a pair of black Mary Jane shoes that fastened with a buckle. “You look so precious!” her mother exclaimed. Jackie thought she probably looked stupid, but kept that opinion to herself. “Oh, one more thing.” her mother added. She rustled around in the bag on the floor for another second, and returned with a blue pacifier, which she quickly swapped with the pink one that Jackie normally sucked. It was identical to the other except for color, but the coordination was just another level of humiliation for Jackie. “Perfect!” her mother almost shouted. “Let's go out and show everyone how pretty you look!” Jackie was led out into the kitchen again, where her family did indeed find her to be just as cute as her mother. The compliments poured in from all over, but Jackie didn't find any of them particularly flattering. All of them commented on how little she looked, and many also made note of just how much of her diapers could be seen. The limited vision that she had because of the bonnet helped Jackie to keep her eyes focused squarely on the floor that she was crouched upon. Mercifully, she wasn't forced to remain at everyone's feet in the kitchen for too long. After a minute or two, her father came into the kitchen, although Jackie hadn't even noticed that he hadn't been there until she saw him returning. He motioned to her, and said “I put your playpen out in the living room. Why don't you come play with your toys.” She crawled after him. She wasn't really sure where the living room was, but she was sure that she didn't care, because it couldn't be worse than the kitchen had been for her. She turned down a different hallway in the large house and came out into what was a quite large room. It had several open doorways that led to bedrooms, and also had a sliding door leading to a large deck and the backyard. Inside the room was an enormous couch that looked like it could seat a dozen people. Sure enough, her father had set up her playpen on the side of the couch. She crawled over to it, and was helped to her feet by her father. He put his hand on her diapered bottom and boosted her up and over the railing and into the playpen. Inside the playpen, Jackie found three stuffed cloth blocks, a rattle, and a doll in place of the blanket and pillow that had been in there when it had served as her crib the night before. Her father bent over and kissed Jackie on her head. He then demonstratively turned on a baby monitor, reminding Jackie to be a good baby and assuring her that they would bring everyone in to meet her when they arrived for the reunion. Jackie had hoped that they might somehow forget, but had already guessed that she would not be so lucky. After her father left, Jackie looked for a way to entertain herself. These toys were the same ones that she often found herself with for hours at a time at home. She had decidedly not yet found a way to entertain herself with them, however. The toys were simply not entertaining for someone of her maturity, no matter how much she sought that entertainment. She still made sure to always have a toy in her hands when she was told to play. If she was ever found without one, her mother invariably decided that Jackie must want to do something other than play. At home, this meant that she would either be put in her bouncer, put down in her crib for an extended or extra nap, or forced to play some sort of horribly embarrassing baby game like peek-a-boo or horsey rides with her mother for an extended period of time. Jackie had decided that each of these options was either more boring or more embarrassing than playing with the mind numbing toys in her playpen, so she was always careful to keep up her activity rate. Right now she found herself shaking her rattle a little bit, until she remembered that that would be heard by everyone in the kitchen over the baby monitor and decided that instead she would play with her doll. Her solitary confinement ended before she had completely grown bored of the moment. She was moving the doll across her face when her father came back into the room with a pair of relatives she didn't remember having ever met. Apparently they were his cousin, Cindy, and her husband, Harry. It was unclear if she had met them at the last reunion, because she was introduced to them as if she were a baby that had not even been alive at the time of the last reunion. Like everyone else, Cindy and Harry cooed over Jackie as if she were any other little baby. In fact, Jackie was somewhat curious how not even one family member had seemed surprised to be introduced to a baby who was clearly in her twenties. Everyone seemed to simply take her babyhood in stride and act as if it was totally normal to see babies that were over 5 feet tall and weighed comfortably more than 120 pounds. Soon Cindy and Harry moved on, and Jackie was once again left alone with her toys in the living room. The interruptions began to come much more quickly, though, and Jackie realized that the majority of the relatives that were coming must be starting to arrive. Eventually, her mother came in with a few other women who were at the party. She was carrying a pair of bottles and a bib. “Baby must be hungry! We've come to feed you!” she said. She quickly helped Jackie out of the crib, guided her the one step to the couch, and sat her down across her lap. She was quickly fitted with a bib, and another round of cooing ensued as the bottle of sickly formula was pushed between Jackie's lips. The women eventually started up more normal conversations, and for a moment Jackie faded out of the spotlight as she sucked down her morning snack. However, that peace ended rather quickly when another set of new guests came in to meet the “baby.” Immediately, Jackie could tell this experience would be different. She recognized two of the people who walked into the room. One was her cousin, Melissa, who was Sarah's daughter, and the other was Michael, who had been her fiancee when they'd last seen each other. But Jackie knew that her cousin, who was three years older than her, had since gotten married to Michael, and so they were now husband and wife. What she hadn't realized, however, was that the young couple had had a baby. Even as she was still being fed, Jackie was introduced to baby Kendra. Kendra, it turned out, was 13 months old. She was being carried now, but her mother bragged that she was now quite an accomplished walker. As Jackie gazed at her, she came to an awful realization. She was wearing the same exact outfit as Kendra! It was too much for her, and she began to quietly sob when her aunt Sarah, Kendra's grandmother, started cooing at how adorable it was that the girls were dressed as twins, which Jackie could tell must have been coordinated. In all of the months since she had been forced back into infancy, she had never felt more like a baby than she did at this moment. The comments did not end as quickly as they had earlier, and Jackie was still feeling like her embarrassment was the center of attention when she finished her second bottle. Her mother made a big show of checking her diaper, declaring her wet but not yet in need of a change, and finally moved her back into the playpen. The party was gradually moving away from the kitchen and out towards the living room, so Jackie was not granted her wish to be left alone. After a few minutes sitting in the playpen absentmindedly holding her doll, Jackie's plight was once again called into focus when Melissa said to Jackie's mother “Would you mind if I let Kendra play with Jackie for a little while? She's getting heavy and I keep seeing her looking over Jackie's way.” “Of course not!” her mother said. “I'm sure Jackie would love to play with Kendra.” Kendra was quickly lowered into the playpen next to Jackie, though there wasn't that much room given that the enclosure was normally meant for one actual baby, and it instead now housed a normal baby and an adult-sized one. The two looked at each other, with Kendra seeming to spend extra time trying to determine what to make of the big girl who looked so much like her. “Can you say hi, Kendra?” Melissa asked. Apparently saying hi for Kendra was a simple wave, which elicited a round of awws from the assembled crowd. Jackie's mother then repeated the question, asking “Can you wave hi back, Jackie?” That prompted Jackie to give back a similarly shy wave, which elicited another round of awws and earned her a “Good girl” from her mother. Melissa added several toys to the playpen, a couple of which Kendra quickly moved to grab. Jackie couldn't help but notice that the smaller child's toys were actually much more complex than the ones that she was normally given to play with. The girls didn't really play with each other as much as they played in the same space, or, even more accurately, Kendra played and Jackie sat miserably with a toy in her hand in the same space. Kendra could not talk or really communicate, and Jackie was not really allowed to, and wouldn't have wanted to either. They were in the playpen for well over an hour when the monotony was broken up when Kendra began to cry quite suddenly. Jackie was surprised, as she didn't really know what had happened. Melissa, however, seemed to have a better idea. She quickly came over and immediately checked her daughter's diaper, and determined that her wetness was the reason for the fussing. She pulled Kendra out of the playpen and took her into a bedroom for a change. Jackie wished that all she had to do to get out of a wet diaper was make her mother aware, as her cold, wet loins were starting to get uncomfortable, but she also felt like now was not a time when she needed people thinking about the state of her diapers any more than they might already be. Jackie feared that she was about to be subjected to a diaper check when her mother walked over to the playpen just after Melissa and Kendra had left. However, her mother instead announced “Lunch time for babykins!” She helped Jackie out of the playpen. Now the subject of several gazes in the crowded living room, Jackie dropped to her knees and crawled after her mother into the kitchen. The kitchen still had a sizable crowd, many of whom were munching on tasty looking appetizers. Jackie, however, was led straight to the highchair in the corner of the room, and boosted up into it. Her mother quickly strapped her into the extremely small article of children's furniture and put the tray onto the front. She began heating a few jars of baby food in the microwave. While it was heating, she brought over a bib. This one was yellow, and across the front it read “Mommy's Little Stinker,” which was one of Jackie's least favorite bibs. Soon the food was ready. It came over steaming in a plastic bowl, and as usual, the mush looked and smelled terribly unappetizing. A small crowd formed to watch the feeding. There were many comments about how babyish Jackie looked and how well behaved she was, a few chuckles at the face she made when the disgusting food first hit her tongue. As usual, her face ended up quite messy. Just as she was finishing, Kendra waddled into the room, which her mother following closely behind her and holding her hand. “Uh-oh,” said Jackie's mother. “Looks like somebody needs your seat, Baby Jackie. Let's get you down, we'll give you some milk in the other room.” Her mouth was quickly wiped, but the humiliating and messy bib stayed around her neck. She quickly got down on her knees when the tray was removed, and within seconds she had essentially swapped places with the tot, with the only difference being that she had to crawl where Kendra had walked. She began crawling out to the living room, with her mother following with a pair of bottles in her hands. She was boosted back onto the couch, and endured another round of sickly sweet formula. By the time she finished the second bottle, Kendra was coming back into the room. Jackie noted that her feeding had taken much less time than her own, but realized quickly that she probably ate a lot more than her much smaller counterpart had. “Should we set up both playpens in the other room for naptime?” Melissa asked. “I think that would be great. Is it all ready to be used as a nursery?” Jackie's mother answered. “I think so,” said Melissa. “It's got good shades, and nothing in there but the babies' things. Should be a perfect room for them for tonight too.” Jackie hated being talked about as one of the babies by her cousin. It was impossible to ignore that they were quite close to each other in age, and had socialized as equals the last time that they had seen each other. Having her now treat her as an equal to her baby daughter was really difficult for Jackie. Her mother instructed her to follow Melissa and Kendra into the room while she pushed the playpen that was into the living room into the bedroom behind the rest of the group. Once inside, the toys were taken out of the playpen and placed on the full sized bed that would not be used. While Melissa got Kendra into her own portable playpen, Jackie's mother checked her diaper. She decided that while she was definitely wet, she'd be able to make it through naptime without any leaks. She said to Jackie, “I don't want you to ruin your dress, so I'm going to take it off for naptime, ok baby?” Jackie, of course, didn't have a choice, but sat still as her mother took off her dress and her little shoes. She felt ridiculous in her remaining ensemble of a bonnet, tights, ruffled panties, and ankle socks. She was also very self conscious of her breasts, which were on display in front of her cousin. That fear was barely founded, however, as she was soon being wrapped tightly into her blanket in the playpen, essentially trapping her again but once more providing her with some modesty as well. As the two women worked to put their babies down for their naps, they began to talk about the difficulties of their babies, with Jackie's mother hinting at some of the ways in which Jackie's size made her unique. Eventually she confessed to Melissa, “Actually, I'm quite glad that Jackie is going to be in here with Kendra tonight. She slept in our room last night, and it stopped my husband and I from being able to do anything at all. It's not that we couldn't, I guess, because she is just a baby and she wouldn't understand, but we didn't want to wake her up even though we wanted to have some fun because we might have never been able to get her back to sleep.” “I didn't need to hear that about my aunt and uncle, but I know what you mean,” Melissa responded with a laugh. “Michael and I were so glad when Melissa started to be able to sleep in her own room so that we could get back to having our fun. Every time we had tried before, we had always woken her up and it was a nightmare. Plus it was a total mood killer!” Jackie was mortified. If Melissa hadn't wanted to here about her aunt and uncle's sex life, Jackie was even less interested in hearing about it, given that they were her parents. Beyond that, her mother's words represented yet another new way that she was being called a baby. Her mother had implied that she could be in the room while other people were having sex and she wouldn't even be mature enough to understand the adult action that was going on. One of the things that Jackie missed most about her maturity was the opportunity to have at least a bit of a sex life. When she had been an adult, she hadn't really had a tremendous amount of success with men, but she had recently had her first serious boyfriend. She hadn't “gone all the way,” but she had had her first sexual experiences with a man, and had hoped that she would soon be taking the final step when he had decided that they should break off their relationship. Rather than leave her with a sour taste, the relationship had served to awaken Jackie to her sexuality. She had become increasingly interested in finding another man, and in the meantime had even ventured online to find herself a few toys to explore herself with on her own. That awakening had abruptly ended when her parents had changed her into a baby. While her desires hadn't entirely subsided, her ability had. Jackie was never alone in a position to pleasure herself, as the only times that she was out of sight and behind a closed door were when she was tightly wrapped up in her crib for a nap or for the night. Even if she had been sure that she could get enough flexibility, she was stopped by the fact that she was constantly on the baby monitor. While she could perhaps stay somewhat quiet, she doubted that a careful listener wouldn't know what was happening. Furthermore, even without those obstacles, Jackie had another issue to contend with. She simply had no desire to put her hands into her diapers. They were almost always wet, and there was really little that made her feel less sexy than the moments when she realized that her sex was encased with a used diaper. All of her sexual frustration had meant that she had now gone months without achieving anything close to an orgasm, a fact which often had her somewhat depressed when she thought about it. Now, the dismissal of her as someone capable of any sort of sexuality seemed to hit her especially hard, in part because she knew that it was functionally closer to true than she wished to admit. It was just a moment more before Jackie was kissed on the head by her mother. “Sleep well, baby girl,” she said. “I'll come get you when it is time to get up from your nap.” Jackie was then surprised when Melissa bent down and gave her a kiss as well. She made sure to flick on the nightlight on her way out, and shut the door, leaving Jackie to slowly drift off to her nap. She was awoken by the sound of Melissa's voice, who was softly saying to her mother “Wow, Kendra is still asleep. She must have been worn out by the excitement. Normally she only naps for an hour or so. I guess I should get her up so that we don't ruin her night's sleep.” “Looks like my sleepyhead is already waking up.” her mother replied. “Are you ready to go back to the party?” she asked, turning her attention to her daughter. “I think you probably need a diaper change before we do that though.” Jackie might have argued that she could have used a change hours ago, but at the same time she was pretty hesitant to be changed in front of her cousin. She wasn't going to have a say in that though. Her mother was already laying out the changing mat on the carpet next to the playpen that Jackie was still crammed into. Kendra had been stirred and Melissa decided that she would need to change her daughter as well, so she began to set up another changing mat next to the one that Jackie's mother had laid down. In the meantime, Jackie had been unwrapped from the tight blankets she had slept in, and her mother got her out of the playpen. She quickly laid down on her back, on the mat. Her mother took down her frilly panties and then worked her tights down off of her legs. Jackie was once again conscious of the fact that she now was on the floor in nothing but a diaper, an embarrassing fact that was compounded when Melissa approached and put her baby down next to Jackie. Just then, her mother opened up Jackie's diaper, leaving her hairless privates and the soaked, yellow inside of her infantile underwear on full display. Her mother was significantly less worried about her nakedness than she was, and, in fact, Melissa seemed to take it in stride as well, simply attending to Kendra's diaper. Jackie was glad of that, but once again embarrassed that she was being treated as if her babyhood was no different than Kendra's was. She laid with her legs up in the air as her mother carefully wiped the urine off of her privates and bottom, and while her legs were up over her mother's head while Kendra's were only at chest height, there was otherwise no difference in their positions and what was happening to them. Eventually the wiping was finished and a new diaper was taped on to replace the old one, which was good because before her tights had even been pulled all the way up her legs she felt a small, warm spurt dribble into the thirsty padding between her legs, reminding Jackie of just how necessary diapers had become for her. Within a few moments Jackie was back to wearing the ridiculously babyish outfit that she had been wearing all day and was sitting between her mother's legs, preparing to be fed the bottle of formula that she had brought into the room with her when she came to wake her up the girls. Melissa began to move one of the playpens into the living room while carrying Kendra out, leaving the room with just Jackie and her mother. In this position, Jackie was just a little shorter than her mother, who pushed the bottle into her mouth and tilted her head back. The position was strange for Jackie, as her head was essentially cradled between her mother's breasts, and she was forced to look up at her mother, who was looking back down at her. Her mother began to coo, saying virtually nothing meaningful, but all the while making Jackie feel as babyish as possible. Finally, the bottle was done and she was released from the strange hold that her mother had kept her pinned in. Without needing to say a word, her mother got up and began to walk out of the room, knowing that Jackie would follow her on her hands and knees. Jackie was surprised to find the living room deserted when they got there, but her mother didn't miss a beat, leading her straight outside and onto the sizable back porch. There was a game of wiffleball in progress and many other family members were chatting over drinks or sitting on some of the several pieces of furniture that were around the lawn and on the porch. On the corner of the deck, positioned in the shadows cast by the house, was the playpen that Melissa had removed from the makeshift nursery, and Jackie saw that Kendra was in there, engrossed in her toys once again. She was led in that direction herself, and within a few seconds had been helped over the railing and was sitting on her diapered behind in the playpen next to what she was pretty sure was her cousin once removed. The boredom resumed almost immediately. She picked up a stray block that was next to her and simply held it, not really bothering to pretend to be amused. There were a few adults seated a few feet away, including her mother and Melissa, but their conversation was far from noteworthy. Jackie watched Kendra, who was intently playing with two dolls. Given that Kendra couldn't talk, it was hard to guess what they were supposed to be doing, even though she was babbling along in gibberish the whole while. A few times she got bored of the dolls, one time hitting Jackie as she threw one away, but otherwise she didn't interact with Jackie at all. Jackie's boredom was complete, and perhaps was made even worse by the presence of others in the area, as she wouldn't allow herself to play with any dolls in front of them, which she sometimes did at home to pass the time, making up stories that were usually about herself breaking out of the terrible rut that she was currently in and returning to a successful adulthood. After what seemed like an eternity but in reality was only about two hours, Jackie's mother got up and said, “I should probably go warm up Jackie's bottles for her afternoon snack. Be right back.” Before she could get more than a step though, Melissa stopped her. “Hang on a second. I'll come with you. I've got to get a bottle for Kendra, and I think I have a proposal that might make both of our lives a little bit easier.” “Sounds good,” her mother replied. “Be a good girl and play nicely with Kendra, Jackie. Mommy will be right back. Remember, listen to anything the grown-ups tell you.” Jackie went back to faking playing for the next several minutes, glad that the monotonous block of playtime would be interrupted with a bottle feeding. While that was sure to be embarrassing, she’d already been publicly fed earlier, and at least this would be something new to do. Plus, it would take up thirty minutes. She figured it was probably around 3:30, so with that half an hour, she was probably only about an hour and a half of playtime from dinner. Normally she would never look forward to that, but today that would mean bath time would be on the horizon before finally, mercifully, bed time would mean that the day was over for her and with it the vast majority of the reunion, provided that everyone left on Sunday morning like they had the last time. Her mother led her niece back out onto the porch. Curiously, Jackie noted, her mother only had one bottle in her hand, but she was sure it was just that Melissa had grabbed two on the way out the door. Her mother walked over to the playpen and bent down, putting her face right into Jackie's. “I am going to feed little Kendra while Auntie Melissa feeds you, ok little one?” she cooed. More quietly, she continued, “If you so much as fuss one bit for Auntie you are going to spend all day in timeout in the bouncer on Monday, understood?” Jackie couldn't imagine what that was all about, but she nodded anyways, making sure that her earnestness showed in her eyes, lest her mother think that she hadn't come up with a threat that got Jackie's undivided attention. She gently picked up Kendra and carried her over to the seat she had been sitting at before she got up. As Jackie watched, she felt Melissa's hands behind her shoulder blades, helping to boost her up and guiding her over the railing onto the porch. Melissa grabbed her hand, a signal to stay standing, and pulled her the few steps over to a large, padded rocking chair for two that hung down off a metal frame. Jackie wasn't looking forward to being fed by her cousin, but would have complied even without her mother's bizarre threat of relatively harsh punishment. Melissa sat down and scooted over to one side of the chair, still holding Jackie's hand as she made herself comfortable. She then patted right next to her legs, and pulled Jackie so that her diaper was positioned just next to her legs. Knowing the drill, Jackie brought her legs up onto the vacant side of the chair, curling them up so that they fit, and placed her torso on Melissa's body. Melissa fastened a bib around Jackie's neck, which was unusual for a bottle feeding, but explained, “We don't want any dribbles on your gorgeous new dress.” Melissa pulled her head closer to Jackie's, but started talking more loudly. “This used to be Kendra's favorite, but now she only seems to like it at night. My body is still really used to it though, and this will be better for you and easier for me than having to pump it out and store it.” Jackie was now starting to get alarmed. Was Melissa talking about what she seemed to be? Panicking, she began to desperately look around for the bottles she surely would be fed. She couldn't find any. She gasped as she saw that Melissa was undoing the buttons on her shirt, confirming that Jackie would not be getting the mundane bottle feeding she had been looking forward to. Her pacifier dropped from her gaping mouth, and she involuntarily let out a small “no, please,” which she didn't even lisp, a mistake she hadn't made since the first week of her second childhood. Immediately, her mother snapped “Jackie Marie! You just earned yourself a day of punishment on Monday and a timeout when you are done being fed! If I hear one more word out of you, it will be a week of punishment, and that will only be the beginning! Say you're sorry to Auntie Melissa and drink up like a good little girl this instant!” Jackie was already sobbing a little, and the snaps had brought some attention beyond the small circle of onlookers in that corner of the deck. Suddenly a large portion of the party seemed aware that the giant baby was in trouble and about to be breastfed. Jackie wanted to run away, but the thought of a week in the bouncer was unbearably awful, and so, crying harder all the while, she meekly lisped “Me sowwy Auntie Mewissa, me was bad gurl.” Melissa gave her a kiss on the top of the head, and then placed one hand behind Jackie's head, with the other on her breast. Jackie wanted nothing in the world less than to drink milk from her cousin's teat, but wasn't foolish enough to think there was any avoiding it anymore. She opened her mouth and, crying even harder now, put her lips around the nipple. “Shh shh shh, that's a good baby. Have some nice milkies and you'll feel all better,” Melissa whispered. Jackie sucked, but could immediately tell that this would be more difficult than a bottle. The nipple was slightly smaller, meaning she needed to use her tongue to help her to latch on properly. Finally, the first wave of milk came, which was perhaps the worst part of the whole experience for Jackie. Mentally, there was no suggesting that she was pretending anymore. Milk was flowing directly from her only slightly older cousin's breast into her mouth, and Jackie was dutifully swallowing it while laying across her lap in what by now was a quite sodden diaper. Even in Jackie's mind, there was no way around the idea that she was now nothing more than an oversized infant who had no other role in the world than to be taken care of. Thinking about it made her cry even more. Slowly, Jackie suckled her way through her humiliating breastfeeding. The milk came out much slower than it came out of bottles, and the result was that just the first breast took Jackie nearly 20 minutes to drain. The milk was far more watery than the sickly formula that she normally drank, and some of it did indeed drip down onto the bib she was wearing. When she finished, Melissa moved quickly to make the other breast available, and Jackie once again had to endure the humiliating process of suckling her cousin's nipple until it ran dry. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she finished. Seemingly just to add another level of humiliation, Melissa pulled Jackie up so that her head rested on her shoulder and patted her back until Jackie let out a loud burp, which she had to admit did make her stomach feel better, even though she hadn't felt particularly poorly at the start. After she burped, her mother came over and addressed her. “See. That wasn't so bad, was it? You could have made it a lot easier for yourself by just being a good girl.” Jackie thought that her mother's comments made it pretty obvious that she had never been breastfed after earning a bachelor's degree, but left that thought safely within the confines of her own head. Instead, she simply opened her mouth as her mother reinserted her pacifier. “Come inside with me, baby. It is timeout time for you.” Jackie got off of the seat and crawled behind her mother into the house. In the living room, Jackie's mother strode over the corner. Jackie followed her until eventually, her mother crouched down beside her. “Since we don't have your timeout stool or your bouncer, timeout rules are going to be a little different for you today, baby. Kneel right here in the corner.” Jackie moved to do as she was told. Ultimately, her mother positioned her so that she wasn't facing the corner itself, but had her shoulder firmly in the corner and faced the blank wall in front of her. When she was satisfied, her mother continued. “Now, look over there. As you can see, we will be able to see you from the porch. But, just to make sure that you don't act up, you need to hold this penny up to the wall with your nose.” She showed Jackie a penny that was in her hand, then positioned it in front of her nose and pushed Jackie's head gently against the wall. She briefly left the room, then re-entered. Jackie dared not look, but her mother told her that she had brought out the baby monitor. “Every time I hear the penny drop, I will come back in and reset it. Every time that that happens also means another day of timeout in the jumper next week. If you are a good girl, I will come and get you when it is time for dinner. Then it is going to be straight to bed for you. You've been a very naughty baby. Now be good during your timeout.” Jackie tried to settle into her position, but realized immediately that this was going to be a difficult punishment, especially given how weak her legs were. Within just a few minutes, she was feeling a little stiff. Slowly, she shifted herself down from the upright kneeling position that she was in to a slightly lower position, all the while keeping her nose firmly pressed against the wall. For a moment this was more comfortable, but she soon realized that that position actually left her bearing even more weight, and tried to shift herself back up to the higher position. However, the penny seemed to catch on the wall, and her nose continued up while the penny dropped to the floor, loudly bouncing on the hardwood between her legs. Within a few seconds, Jackie heard the door slide open. Her mother returned to her side. As she replaced the penny, she said “Well, you made it 6 minutes. You were already going to spend to Monday thinking about how naughty you were this weekend. I guess you wanted to spend Tuesday the same way. At this rate, you might get to spend two weeks thinking about how much of a bad baby you've been. It's your choice.” Jackie resolved to avoid spending the next two weeks in the torture sling. This time, she held firm in her position, even as her legs experienced increasing discomfort. Eventually she had pushed past the pain and reached a point where she was just waiting out the time. Suddenly, however, the penny fell. She couldn't believe it. She was no longer bothered so much by the position. Instead, she had simply lost focus. Her mother returned, and, as she replaced the penny, she commented, “Well, you are more than halfway through your timeout, but you're also in timeout for more than half of next week. Mommy doesn't mind though. All I have to do when you are in timeout is feed you in the bouncer. I don't even have to change you until bedtime.” After she left, Jackie made sure to keep her focus 100% on the penny. It made the time pass incredibly slowly, but she was determined to keep her boredom the next week to a minimum. When the time was finally up, she had been so focused that she was startled by her mother announcing that it was time for her dinner. Gratefully, Jackie pulled her nose back from the wall and somewhat flopped onto her diapered bottom, which reminded her of just how wet she was. Jackie didn't really care, however, as she stretched out her legs for as long as she could before her mother beckoned her to follow her into the kitchen. Most of the party was still out on the deck preparing for a barbeque dinner, so the kitchen was basically deserted. Jackie was quickly boosted into the highchair and fastened in. In the mostly empty room, dinner proceeded fairly quickly, with the only people who were in there focused on preparing food to be cooked out on the grills and not bothering to make any comments on Jackie's feeding. The clock read just after six when her mother started feeding Jackie her after dinner bottles. As Jackie was slurping down the second one, Melissa carried Kendra into the kitchen and announced that she would be reserving the highchair next, as if there was really much of a line. At that point, Jackie's mother told her, “When you are done with your dinner you owe Auntie Melissa a big thank you. She brought along some of the milkies that she pumped out since Kendra stopped drinking up during the day a couple of weeks ago in bottles. She is going to give it to us so that you can drink it even after we go home! Isn't that exciting?” Jackie wasn't impressed, but when the empty bottle was removed from her mouth, she dutifully said thank you and, at her mother's prompting, she even gave her cousin a peck on the cheek. “Let's get you a bath and then get you off to bed, my naughty little baby,” her mother said. Soon she was in the bathtub in the bathroom, her soaked diaper finally off. After a very quick but thorough scrubbing, Jackie was dried off. On the floor of the bathroom she was taped into one of her extra thick overnight diapers and then dressed in an ultra-short, pink nighty that left her diaper entirely exposed. She was led back through the living room and into the bedroom that was to serve as a nursery for her and Kendra. In practically no time, she was tightly wrapped in blankets and stuffed into her tiny playpen. Laying on her back, she was fed her standard nighttime bottles. Just as she was finishing up, Kendra was brought in, having obviously just had a bath herself. Jackie came to the realization that she was already tucked in for the night before even her 1 year old cousin was. While she knew she was being put to bed about an hour early because of her earlier misbehavior, she was still dismayed. Her mother soon made it worse when she asked Melissa “Is this when Kendra normally goes to bed?” “Yup,” Melissa replied. “7 o'clock is a perfect time for this little tyke.” “Hmm. We had been putting Jackie down at 8. Maybe 7 would be more appropriate. You can consider that your new bedtime, baby girl.” Melissa continued. “I'm just going to read Kendra a story. I'd be happy to give Jackie a good night kiss and get the lights on my way out if you'd like to head out and get some dinner.” “Sounds great. Well, goodnight little girl. Be a perfect little angel. I don't want to hear a single peep out of you tonight. We have a long trip tomorrow, so sleep well.” Her mother gave her a kiss on the head and left her as Melissa began to read Goodnight Moon to both Kendra and Jackie. When she was finished, she helped to ease Kendra off to sleep, gave Jackie the kiss she had promised her mother, shut off the light, and closed the door behind her, sealing Jackie in for a particularly long night in a particularly small bed. Given that it was still before her bedtime, Jackie was still lying awake twenty minutes when a stomach rumble forced her into a horrifying realization. She had not messed herself all day. This was extremely rare for her, especially since she had begun her current diet, and she assumed that it must have been a result of all the nervous energy that had been coursing through her body all day. Why she hadn't yet pooped wasn't really her concern though, as much as what was going to happen now. She knew that she would almost certainly be pooping within the next few minutes, especially since she couldn't even shift positions to try to help with the cramps. Still, Jackie decided that she would try to fight the urge. If she could just fall asleep, maybe her body would be able to hold out until morning. And so, with a desperate urgency, Jackie tried to drift off. Her efforts only seemed to make her more awake. Within a few minutes, she knew, as she had the day before in her car seat, that she would not be winning her fight. She didn't really give up, because she had a sense that a mess she made now would stay in her diaper until morning, but within just fifteen minutes of the first warning sign Jackie lost the battle, and a cramp led to a surge of soft, warm poop sliding into the seat of her diaper. There was more coming, and within a few minutes Jackie was lying in a particularly full messy diaper that smelled perhaps a little worse than normal, though that might have been simply mental because Jackie would be smelling it for so long. Her discomfort was immediate. Her only hope was that Kendra would wake up and be put off by the smell enough that she cried and somehow led to Jackie getting changed, but given that she had just fallen asleep and was showing no signs of stirring in the crib next to Jackie, that possibility seemed remote. She knew that she was never allowed to mention the state of her diaper, and she knew that making some sort of call over the baby monitor would probably only anger her mother. Instead, she guessed that she would have to try to somehow fall asleep. She knew that that would be tough. She remembered when she had been forced to sleep next to her playmate, Stephanie, when Stephanie had messed herself during a nap time. Stephanie had been extremely red-faced when it had happened, but had quickly drifted off to sleep. Jackie, however, had found the smell almost too much to handle. She had taken much longer than normal to fall asleep and had only done so because she was genuinely tired because she was normally asleep at that time. Tonight, the smell and the discomfort of her own poop had Jackie unable to escape the senses associated with her plight. As it had been when she was cooped up next to the exorbitantly smelly Stephanie, genuine drowsiness was what finally got Jackie to sleep. Even her filthy, stinky bum couldn't stop her from falling victim to the combination of a stressful day, a physically demanding timeout, and the (for her) late hour of 8:15. It was some hours later when Jackie was jolted awake by an unfamiliar sound. She could place that she was hearing screaming, but she could not figure out why. Eventually, she slowly remembered where she was, and realized that the screaming she could hear was her young roommate crying. Jackie desperately just wanted to get back to sleep, but that was not going to happen anytime soon with the noise coming from the makeshift crib just a few feet from her own. In just a few moments, Melissa entered the room, immediately whispering “Shh, shh, Mommy is here baby.” As she crossed over to Kendra's playpen, she took a sniff and whispered, “Ooh, I think I can smell what you want, baby.” Even with how tired she was, Jackie was clear-headed enough to think “No, that smell is me.” Instantly, she was filled with dread. Surely now her cousin would discover the mess in her diaper, and then who knew what would happen. Would she be subjected to the most humiliating of changes? Would she die of shame? Melissa's bent over and picked up her daughter, holding her tight while setting up a changing mat. Jackie heard the tapes being opened up, and then Melissa said “Ooh, stinky girl. Let's get you all cleaned up.” “What?” Jackie thought. Wasn't she the source of the acrid air in the room? Her diaper was certainly full of poop. She knew that from the way that it clung to her backside every time she wriggled in her tightly wrapped blankets. But her cousin was certainly proceeding as if Kendra was in a messy diaper herself, and surely she must be right, given that she now had the diaper open. Jackie didn't know if this would perhaps mean a reprieve for her. Kendra had soon been changed into a new diaper, and had stopped her fussing but for a few stray whimpers. “Let mummy feed you now honey,” Melissa said, and though Jackie couldn't see it from her position, she could hear that Melissa had begun to feed her daughter the same way that she had fed Jackie earlier in the afternoon. Eventually the feeding had ended, and as Jackie could hear Melissa get to her feet, she heard her say “Oof, baby, that might have been the smelliest diaper you have ever had. I'm going to have to take that straight out to the trash or else the room will smell all night.” Jackie started to breathe easier. Obviously, Mellisa did not suspect her of being the cause of the majority of the stench in the room. Her fear that she would be changed by her cousin seemed to be misplaced. Sure enough, after a few minutes of cooing Kendra to sleep, Melissa departed the room, never having even come over to the playpen where Jackie had been cooped up the entire time. Finally, Jackie's heartbeat finally began to slow down. She had been on edge for the entire time that Melissa had been in the room, which she guessed must have been close to a half an hour. As she settled down though, she realized for the first time that her mess was even more uncomfortable than it had been when she had fallen asleep for what she had assumed would have been the night. Then she had been trapped in a warm, gooey sludge that had seemed almost invasive in the way that it was slowly seeping up into her crotch and the wider regions of her thick nighttime diaper. Now, the mess felt quite different. It was thoroughly cold, which seemed to make it even more uncomfortable against her skin. It also had spread throughout her diaper. She could feel it caked onto the small of her back, almost all the way to the top of her diaper. She could tell that it was very much stuck to her skin now, and she felt reasonably sure it was the most unpleasant diaper she had ever been in. In a way, she began to wonder if she had been as lucky as she thought she had been. She was still glad that Melissa hadn't changed her, but had her mother come in when Kendra had broken out in crying and changed her while Melissa had attended to Kendra, surely she would be much more comfortable and already asleep, rather than helplessly trying to ignore the itchy, smelly mess that she was laying in. After what she could have sworn was hours of uncomfortably trying to fall asleep, morning seemed to come amazingly fast for Jackie. She woke up disoriented, which was helped by the fact that she was not woken up in her normal way. Instead of her mother gently rousing her, the first thing she heard was “Woo, Melissa, is that Kendra? Man, is it smelly in here.” “I guess it could be,” Melissa answered, “but she was stinky in the middle of the night, so I'd be surprised. I think you're the one who got this present.” “Uh-oh, are you the little stinker?” Jackie's mother asked, with her face just inches from her daughter's. As she unwrapped the tight blankets that had held Jackie immobilized over the course of her miserable night, they were both struck by a fresh blast of the horrible, acrid stench coming from around Jackie's waist. “Oh, yup, it's mine alright!” her mother called. “Whew, ok, well, I guess we won't be going first for breakfast after all. She's going to need a change right away or else everyone out in the kitchen will gag on their food!” As Jackie was helped out of the playpen by her mother, Melissa said “OK, I'll give Kendra a quick change and then take her out to the highchair.” Jackie was sat on a changing pad in the center of a room, where her mother took off her nighty, leaving her naked but for her diaper. As her mother laid her back down, Kendra was brought over and laid down next to her, which made Jackie feel distinctly exposed with her cousin looking down on her mostly naked body. The day before, Jackie would have been filled with an unbelievable discomfort at the realization that Melissa was about to see her being changed out of a messy diaper. This morning though, having been stuck in the filthy undergarment for so long, she was significantly less vain. Sure, she was still not looking forward to having her smelly crotch on display, but more than anything she just wanted to be clean again, especially since her cousin already had a pretty good idea about her diaper's content. Her mother opened up the diaper and both she and Melissa briefly turned away. “Man,” Melissa finally said, “that might be the grossest diaper I've ever seen. Hopefully Kendra only has to grow up once so I never have to deal with something like that!” “Yeah,” her mother responded, “this is as bad as I've ever seen, but she was a little easier to clean up the first time around. But oh well, babies can't help themselves, no matter how big they are. Isn't that right, princess?” Jackie was glad that she wasn't required to lisp out a response as her mother took the first wipe and began to carefully clean the caked-on waste off of her bald crotch. Kendra had been completely changed, dressed and gone to breakfast for nearly five minutes before her mother had finally gotten all of the poop off of her bottom. “You have a little bit of a rash, baby,” her mother announced. “Let's put a little cream on there for you.” After lotion was rubbed into her tush for another minute, which did make her bottom feel a little less itchy than it had, she was powdered and taped into a fresh diaper. Even as she was wondering why she was being taped into another overnight diaper, her mother said “We're going to leave pretty much right after we get you fed, so we might as well get you ready for our trip now.” Next Jackie found herself being dressed in another pair of white tights. Over her head came a seafoam green dress that was, as usual, far too short to do much to obscure the bulge underneath it, though Jackie was glad that it was at least more subtle than yesterday's, if no less babyish. A matching headband with a small green bow was placed in her hair, and finally her mary-janes completed the ensemble. Without needing to be told, Jackie crawled behind her mother and out towards the kitchen. She found herself amongst about a dozen pairs of legs, which she successfully navigated as she crawled over to the tiny highchair that sat in the corner of the room. She was helped into the baby furniture one final time, squeezing in tight as the tray was closed around her midsection. As her mother tied a bib around her neck, her father came over and took out her pacifier to give her a kiss. “Good morning, princess,” he said. “Goo moawaning, daddy,” she lisped. “I heard you were a very smelly girl this morning,” he said, loud enough for anyone in the kitchen who didn't already know to become aware that she had thoroughly used her diaper overnight. Jackie didn't know whether she needed to respond, but was given a reprieve when her mother approached and immediately began spooning oatmeal into her mouth. Although the feeding left Jackie's face as messy as usual, it was clearly somewhat rushed and industrial. She was quickly fed her bottles and then had her face cleaned. Apparently her parents had already packed, because she was told it was time to head out to the car as soon as she was done. Before she could get down though, several family members came over to bid her goodbye, all of them making sure to address her infantile status and to give her condescending kisses on the forehead. The last to come over was Melissa, who was holding Kendra in her arms. Melissa gave her a quick peck like all the others, then addressed both girls, saying mostly to Jackie, “Give your new friend a kiss goodbye! Next time you see her she will be much bigger, but who knows if you will have grown up at all.” Miserably, Jackie gave Kendra the babyish smooch that she had been trained to give when she was told to give a kiss, which Kendra sort of returned, sparking a wave of “awws” from the onlooking crowd. Finally, the tray pinning her into the tiny seat was removed and she was helped back onto the floor. Her parents finished their final goodbyes and Jackie was led to the door, which was opened to reveal her stroller just on the other side of the threshold. She got up and into it. With the family left in the house, she and her parents made their way down the long driveway and to the car. Once they reached the car, she was taken out of the stroller and her mother helped her up into the car while her father folded the stroller and put it in the trunk. Jackie settled into the carseat and her mother began to tighten the restraints, once again leaving her immobilized. “I hope you had fun this weekend, baby, because you are going to have a long time this week to think about what a naughty girl you were yesterday afternoon,” her mother said as before she closed the door. Momentarily alone, Jackie sighed. She certainly had not had fun at the family reunion. It had been terrifically embarrassing, and it had led her to get into more trouble than she had since her first few rebellious days of her reduced status. She wished that they had never come. And now she had a day in the car where she would have nothing to do but think about her embarrassing life and the numbingly boring days of punishment she had ahead of her. As they got on the road, Jackie's thoughts drifted back to the last thing that Melissa had said to her at the reunion about the next time she would see Kendra. She had little doubt that Kendra would be grown, as she had only seen Melissa twice now in the last five years and it seemed unlikely that that pattern would change so dramatically that Kendra would still be a tot the next time the family got together. Jackie sincerely hoped that when they met again though, she would have been allowed to mature too. It was pretty clear that her parents intended to keep her as a baby for some significant period of time, but she kept hope that it would end at least within the span of a normal babyhood, even if she did know enough from her developmental psychology class to know that her parents' rules for her behavior didn't really correspond with any actual age. If Jackie met a six year old Kendra still stuck living the way she was now, she thought she might just go insane. She resolved to find a way to ask Stephanie on their next play date how she had managed to keep her mind from going to mush over the four years she had been stuck as an infant. As disturbing as Jackie's contemplations were, they did do a nice job of passing the time. The next thing she knew, her mother passed back her morning snack of a bottle. Jackie brought it to her mouth and began to drink, almost choking as she realized that it was breast milk that filled the bottle. Her mother chuckled as she watched in the rear view mirror. “That is one of the bottles that Melissa was nice enough to save for you. We have enough for you to have one a day for a week. Aren't you lucky?” Jackie didn't feel lucky at all. For one, the milk was cold, no doubt because that was the only way to keep it from spoiling, but that seemed out of place since she normally drank warm formula. In addition, while she wouldn't actually say that the taste was any worse than the sickly sweet formula she was used to, the difference was enough that she couldn't help but notice it. That difference only served to remind her of the miserable experience of being breastfed the day before. If the embarrassment didn't still sting so much, she wouldn't be able to believe it had really happened. Suckling on her cousin's nipple had been more difficult than latching onto the nipple of a bottle, and the milk had come out in strong squirts rather than the steady flow that she was accustomed to. All of that forced Jackie to focus intently on the breasts she had been draining, which made her even more aware of the embarrassing task she was feeding, and she had felt like her cheeks had been on fire as she heard the embarrassing comments that her relatives were making at her expense. Mercifully, Jackie soon drained the bottle of the embarrassing milk and was able to move on in her thoughts. She found herself extremely tired after her poor night's sleep. Even though she had had her bedtime moved up an hour to 7 o'clock, which meant that she would now be spending less time out of her crib than in it when naps were included, she had probably gotten less sleep last night than she had in months. Her body still looked the same as it had when she was still treated like an adult, but more and more she was physically turning into a small child. Not only was she increasingly incontinent, but her body now needed an infantile amount of sleep as well. Having not had it overnight, her body seemed intent on catching up now, and before long she fell asleep. She didn't wake up until her mother jostled her awake by checking her diaper. “Just a little wet,” she said, beginning to unbuckle Jackie from the seat. It took a moment, but Jackie realized that they had stopped at another roadside picnic area. She was helped down into the stroller, which confirmed that she wouldn't be changed. Just as she figured out that it must be lunchtime, she was wheeled over to a nearby table, and had a bib tied around her neck. The lot was deserted, so the feeding passed by without any incident, and Jackie was soon being refastened into her carseat for more of the ride. She was handed another bottle to drink as the car got going again. This one was just standard formula, and went down without much thought. Just as she was finishing, however, an almost seismic rumble occurred in her stomach. She handed the finished bottle to her mother and settled in for what she knew was a mess that was coming on fast. Although it had been relatively shortly ago that she had had the massive bowel movement in her makeshift crib, she wasn't really surprised. She had gone more than 24 hours from when she had messed in this very seat on Friday and when she had messed on Saturday evening. She was basically due for a day when she messed herself twice, as she hadn't since Wednesday and it usually happened every other day or so. Perhaps it wouldn't be today because she had gone so late last night, but she wasn't surprised that poop was on the way. As she had expected, it came quickly, and when it did it was nice enough to announce its presence. As she scrunched up her face and pushed hard to get the poop out into the diaper that was pressed so tightly against her by the seat, a series of long, noisy farts made sure that her parents knew exactly what was going on. In a few more minutes, she was finally able to relax, settling into what was now a warm and smelly load that was spreading around her backside. “Man,” her father said, “just after we could have changed her at lunch. Oh well, let's push on if its ok with you, we're making good time.” “I was thinking the same thing,” her mother replied. “She was really only a little wet. In her overnight diaper she could make it all the way home without her leaking, as long as the smell doesn't get to us.” “Great,” Jackie thought to herself. “Another long set of hours in a stinky diaper.” Still though, she knew that if they decided to drive the rest of the way without changing her she would be assured that there wouldn't be a repeat of the encounter they had had during her messy change on Friday, so perhaps the news wasn't all bad. After the effort required to mess herself in such tight quarters briefly left her body coursing with energy, but since she was so unused to having to exert herself in any way, she found herself feeling a tad tired. Although she had just woken up about an hour ago, it was her normal nap-time and she was still making up for lost rest. She soon drifted off once more. Jackie woke up a little more than an hour later, immediately noticing that her diaper had become colder and was somewhat itchy, though at least it didn't smell nearly as bad as last night's mess had. Her mother noticed her fidgeting and produced another bottle for her to drink. She finished it without too much haste. By then she was more awake and took stock of her surroundings. It was a few minutes after 3 in the afternoon, so if the trip was going as smoothly as it had, they would be well more than half-way home. Still, Jackie knew she had at minimum two more hours stuck in the carseat, and most likely the stinky pants as well. Her thoughts turned to the trip she was coming home from once more. She was glad she hadn't known it was coming. As bad as it was, she knew that anticipating it for more than just the car ride on Friday would have been just as agonizing. Still, she knew the trip would do her some real damage. No matter if she was ever allowed to re-enter the adult world, she would surely always be known by her extended family as the big baby who had demonstrated just how desperately she needed her diapers all weekend long. If she did get to go back to her real life, she decided, she probably never would go back to one of those reunions. The trip also made her look forward to being home. Her daily routine was boring, and mind-numbing, and a little embarrassing, but it was nothing like spending a whole weekend in the company of new people. She was glad to get back to anonymity again, even if she was still going to be forced to be a baby. Even though in many ways she did consider her life to be “that bad,” in a way she thought the trip had helped her to realize that it could be even worse. At long last, they pulled into the driveway. Jackie was glad to be home, ready to get a clean diaper, perhaps with a bath beforehand. She knew tonight she wouldn't put up a fight when she was fed the gross mush that made up so much of her diet. She would even be glad to sleep in her own crib again, where even though she would be wrapped so tightly by her mother that she would be sure to wake up sweaty, at least she would be able to extend her legs before the swaddling began. With a grateful sigh, she realized that her unexpected trip was over.
  10. This starts in the middle of the story and diapers are really only at the beginning and end but it's a scene I really like and wanted to put it out there more broadly. When Andrew crossed the threshold of his own apartment, a sense of unspoken shame clung to him. The urgency to rid himself of his clothes, particularly the pants and the diaper, was overwhelming. He despised the way the diaper parted his legs, its weight was unnatural, pulling him down. From within his bathroom, Andrew couldn't help but notice the half-moon stains on his pants as he peeled off his clothes. His relief at having taken a towel earlier was now tinged with a bitter realization of necessity. Andrew, for a moment, thought the diaper might just fall to the ground, but he had taped it too tight. He ripped at the tapes simultaneously, the act cathartic in its own right, a small rebellion against his own debasement. The diaper thudded to the floor. The sharp, acrid stench of urine hitting him. He could immediately tell the scen was distinctly not his own, which only deepened the humiliation. In the privacy of his bathroom, under the fluorescent light, Andrew stood exposed, not just in flesh, but in spirit. The evening's events replayed in his mind, each moment a sharp jab to his already fragile sense of self. He longed to wash away not just the physical remnants of the night, but also the haunting echoes of Aria's laughter, the sound of which seemed to linger in the air, a ghostly reminder of his debasement. Andrew's mind whirled with conflicted thoughts as he stood under the scalding stream of the shower. Surely, peeing on him like that was some kind of assault, but what was he going to do, tell the cops a woman peed in his diaper after he accidentally came from her stroking his thigh? And then what? He saves the diaper so they can DNA test it? He’d probably end up being the one arrested, not to mention laughed at. Andrew turned the shower on as hot as he could stand it. When he stepped in, it felt like the dirt and grime of the evening was being burned off of him which was good because the idea of touching his penis where she peed on it was revolting to him. Andrew stayed in the shower until his hands pruned, knowing the reality of his discarded diaper awaited him when he stepped out. It stood as a symbol of a night that had oscillated bewilderingly between deep humiliation and unexpected arousal. As he contemplated this, a troubling thought emerged – maybe he was the problem. For the next few days, Andrew moved through the world like a zombie. He had never been an exemplary bartender, but now his inadequacies were magnified. His tips dwindled, a testimony to his inability to maintain eye contact, his hands shook as he poured drinks and spilled liquor over the bar and sometimes patrons hands. At night, the allure of jacking off was lost to him, replaced by a numbing trance in front of the television, his thoughts a murky swirl of regret and confusion. But as the days melded into each other, he felt a resolve grow within him. The only escape from the haunting image of Aria was to bury her memory under new experiences, new faces. Until she was just one weird date which he would never tell a soul about. It didn’t take him long to find someone new on the dating site he frequented, the same one where he’d met Megan. There, amidst the digital profiles was a figure seemingly carved from the antithesis of Aria. In her pictures she wore wool sweaters and fitting but not too tight jeans. She was a teacher who volunteered at the animal shelter. In her answers to her questions, she clearly wanted to wait to have sex and had few prior romantic partners. All of this was a welcome relief to Andrew. In fact, Andrew felt as though her profile was a love letter to him. She wanted a man who could mix her a strong drink. She liked shorter men, an preference almost unheard of in online dating. She was exactly what Andrew thought he needed. Determined to steer this new encounter rather than let it steer him, Andrew suggested sushi at a familiar, unpretentious restaurant, devoid of any dress code. He even suggested meeting there separately as a buffer against any unforeseen shifts in power dynamics. He arrived early, anchoring himself with a bottle of sake at the table. And he waited. And waited … and waited. Each time the door creaked open, his heart leapt, only to sink again as stranger after stranger entered, none the face he was expecting. He was about to concede that he’d been stood up and ask the waiter for a check when the front door opened once more. His heart froze, not with hope, but with a familiar dread. It was Aria with Megan trailing in her wake. Of course they were both wearing mini skirts, Andrew thought as he tried to shake off a mental image of himself ensnared between Aria's legs. As Andrew reached for the menu, a futile shield against his unfolding nightmare, it was already too late. Aria's voice cut through the ambient chatter of the restaurant. “Andrew!” Aria smiled walking over to him and putting her arms out like she expected him to stand up and give her a big hug. And because he didn’t know what else to do, Andrew did exactly that. "Aria," he murmured, a greeting or a plea, he wasn't sure. Megan, however, offered her hand. “I think we better stick to handshakes there, quickdraw,” she winked like his whole humiliating ordeal was some kind of inside joke. “That’s right! Oh no! Andrew, you didn’t have another accident just now did you?” And she touched the crotch of his pants feeling for wetness, actually going as far as to grip his flaccid penis through his pants. “No padding, you’re living dangerously.” Andrew again found an entire restaurant staring at him. He was pretty sure the patrons hadn’t have fully understood the exchange but he also knew enough about people to know that would just make them more likely to eavesdrop. "I was just leaving," Andrew stammered, desperation tinting his voice as he fumbled for his wallet, seeking an escape. “Leave?” Aria purred, her voice dripping with mock concern. “But you haven’t even eaten yet. Look, your chopsticks are still virginal.” She leaned in, her breath a mix of some subtle, intoxicating perfume and the unspoken promise of chaos. For a moment, Andrew wanted to drown in that scent, to lose himself in the familiar yet dangerous allure. He felt an unwelcome stiffening, his body betraying him after weeks of numb detachment. He recoiled, the ghost of past humiliations flashing in his mind. “You’re drunk,” she taunted, her nose almost grazing his. “I can smell the sake on you.” “I’m not…” His protest was weak, lost in the sudden invasion of his personal space as Aria's hands darted into his pockets, swift and predatory. She emerged victorious with his keys. “My keys!” He lunged clumsily, but she danced back with a cruel laugh, leaving him to stagger and nearly fall. That’s when he noticed the other patron, a mountain of a man, rising from his chair. “Sir,” the man said, stepping into the fray and blocking Andrew's view of Aria as he completely misinterpreted the scene. “I’m a police officer,” he flashed his badge under his sport jacket “and you’re about to make a very public mistake. Touch these women, and I’ll have you in cuffs faster than you can say 'sake bomb.' Sit down, sober up, and maybe thank them for saving you from a DUI.” The officer’s presence was like an eclipse, his shadow swallowing Andrew whole. With a defeated raise of his hands, Andrew retreated to his seat, feeling the weight of every eye in the place. “Thank you,” he mumbled, the words tasting like ash. The gratitude was forced, the humiliation real, but it seemed to appease the mountain who retreated back to his seat after a stoic nod to Aria and Megan who could barely contain their glee. The restaurant erupted in applause for the officer, a symphony of claps steeped in schadenfreude. Andrew could feel the collective scorn of the patrons, their disdain for his supposed drunken intent to drive. Maybe he was buzzed, more than he realized. He sat as Aria and Megan commandeered chairs at his table. “Look, Megan, there’s a setting for a ghost,” Aria quipped, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she signaled the waiter for a third setting. “Andrew, were you playing host to an invisible date?” Andrew opened his mouth, a lie teetering on the tip of his tongue. But Aria was faster. “Do not lie to me, little boy. I’ve got a sixth sense for bullshit.” Silenced, he merely nodded, the truth lodged in his throat like a bitter pill. Megan leaned in, her voice laced with mock curiosity. “Was it a date? Were you going to ditch her before she even graced us with her presence?” The unused setting became Andrew's focal point, an island of emptiness in a sea of judgment. “No, Megan. I don’t think that’s it.” Aria said, her eyes locking onto Andrew’s with a predatory glint. Her gaze was unyielding, dissecting his every hesitation. “Tell us what happened, Andrew,” she commanded, her tone a blend of mock maternal concern and a razor-sharp challenge, as if she were coaxing a dark secret from a wayward child. His gaze flickered between them, their eyes like twin spotlights in an interrogation room. He glanced at the door, half-hoping, half-dreading the arrival of his phantom date. Exhaling a defeated breath, he admitted, “My date stood me up.” The words hung in the air, a banner of his latest defeat, as Aria and Megan exchanged knowing glances, their expressions a cocktail of amusement and pity. The two women enveloped him in exaggerated sympathy. "Such a shame to be stood up," they cooed as they poured his sake in their glasses. "Consider us your upgrades for the night," they teased, their laughter tinged with the unspoken reminder of earlier humiliations. "But let’s keep it PG, shall we? After all, you’re flying without a safety net tonight." And they both glanced down as if they could see his groin through the table. When the waiter reappeared again, Aria took command, orchestrating a feast of exotic sushi. She ventured into culinary no-man's-land, even ordering the tiny octopus, which Andrew had never had the courage or money to try. While they waited for their food, Megan and Aria weaved a lively tapestry of recent theater escapades and high school drama class reminiscences. They spun tales of sets and scenes, high school affairs and high-stakes escapades. They quizzed Andrew about his own thespian inclinations. "Were you ever a theater nerd, Andrew?" they prodded playfully as they filled his empty glass with more sake. Andrew, who had always been more audience than actor, found himself swept up in their stories, his earlier discomfort fading into the background. For once, his anatomy was left out of the conversation. In their company, with their easy banter and laughter echoing around him, Andrew discovered an unexpected truth – these two women, these agents of chaos, were actually quite delightful. The sushi arrived, an elaborate spread that promised a reprieve from the evening's earlier tensions. Andrew, caught in a moment of ease, clumsily picked up a roll with his chopsticks and bit into it, halving it as the rest of the roll unravelled and fell to his plate. Aria's voice pierced the casual air. "What are you doing?!" Her eyes widened theatrically, scanning the room as if witnessing a grave faux pas. "You don't bite sushi in half! It's a one-bite affair." Embarrassed, Andrew glanced around. True enough, other patrons were deftly popping whole pieces into their mouths. "But these rolls, they’re monstrous," he mumbled, feeling suddenly clumsy and uncultured. At that, Aria got up and walked around the table, sliding into the seat next to him, her proximity sending a jolt through Andrew’s body. He stiffened, a deer in headlights. "Relax," she laughed, her tone a strange blend of mockery and reassurance. "I’m not going to pee on you again." Her laughter was joined by his, a nervous, shaky sound. But relaxation was far from Andrew's reach. "Open your mouth," Aria commanded, her chopsticks poised with the tiny octopus. The way she held it, it looked like if she dropped it in water, it might swim away. All eight tentacles hung below the chopsticks and its body hovered like a thick piece of meat above it. It made Andrew nauseous to look. Andrew’s head shook in silent refusal, his mouth sealed shut. The idea of ingesting the creature whole was too much. "I’m doing you a favor," Aria insisted. "What if your date had shown up? You would have humiliated yourself by not eating sushi correctly. I’m teaching you. Now don’t be a baby, open your mouth.” With a sense of dread, Andrew relented slightly, parting his lips just a fraction. It was enough for Aria. She deftly shoved the octopus into his mouth, the sauce smearing across his lips as she pushed. Every instinct inside of him was saying to spit it out. The soft, mushy body and crispier tentacles creating an unbearable contrast in textures. But Aria’s hand was firm against the back of his head, her other hand over his mouth, sealing it shut. Desperately, Andrew scanned the room for the officer, but he was nowhere to be seen, likely gone to the bathroom. With no avenue for escape, Andrew had no choice but to chew, the octopus’ juices spilling into his mouth. Aria's grip remained unyielding. "Keep it in," she instructed firmly. It felt like an eternity, but eventually, the octopus was consumed. "Good boy," Aria praised him, selecting a more standard piece of sushi.“This will be easy now.” Andrew caught Megan's eye, only to realize she had been filming the entire episode. Aria, oblivious or indifferent to his discomfort, popped another octopus into her mouth with ease and returned to her seat. "Now you're sushi-savvy for your next date," she declared with a smirk. Andrew sat there, the weight of the evening's events heavy upon him. He knew one thing for certain — this restaurant, now a stage for his latest humiliation, was a place he could never visit again. The meal evolved from there into a saga of sake and laughter, with Aria and Megan matching Andrew drink for drink. Aria had gone back to her side of the table, smirking each time she suggested Andrews eat another bite of sushi from one of larger rolls. Andrew wasn’t sure if he had been too drunk to drive when they arrived but he certainly was now. Andrew, initially intent on a hasty retreat as soon as the cop vanished, found himself unexpectedly anchored to the moment, enjoying their company. Even the way Aria had touched him, octopus aside, had felt jovial, none of it laced with the degradation of their last date. The trio delved into desserts, more sake, and then even more, as the hours slipped by unnoticed. It was only when the waiter, with a polite but firm demeanor, informed them of the restaurant's impending closure, that the spell of the evening began to wane. He laid the check down on the table. Andrew wasn’t sure if it was the sake or the dollar amount, but he suddenly needed to vomit. He stood up, his movement less graceful than he intended. The room swayed slightly, a clear testament to his inebriated state. He had known he was drunk, but sitting their in his chair, he hadn’t realized how much. He was certain he had never been this drunk before. He reached for the table, his hand grasping for stability. This simple act, so revealing of his condition, sent Aria and Megan into fits of laughter. Their hysterics echoed in the now-empty restaurant, a soundtrack to the night's unexpected turn from despair to reckless abandon. "You're both drunk, too" Andrew managed to say, his words laced with laughter as he watched Aria and Megan dissolve into giggles. "Not as drunk as you," Megan retorted with a grin. It was true. Aria was quickly paying the bill, a relief that made him relieved and embarrassed. All the while she was stacking plates to make life easier on the bus boy. Megan had an arm around him, helping him find his feet. They flanked him as they left, each taking a side to support him towards the door. "How are you not toppling over?" he slurred, genuinely puzzled. "I guess we're just better at handling ourselves," Aria quipped, a sly smile playing on her lips. Then, just as they stepped outside and without warning, Aria's giggle turned mischievous as she squeezed one of his love handles. Andrew, caught off guard and extraordinarily ticklish, doubled over with laughter. It took a moment for him to realize what had just happened. The tickling had triggered an unexpected and uncontrollable release. Warmth spread down his legs, his pants clinging uncomfortably to his skin. His heart sank as he understood the extent of his predicament. "Holy shit," Megan exclaimed, her voice echoing across the empty parking lot. "Did you just piss yourself?!" He looked up to her, she had clearly started recording again. Aria was in hysterics, her laughter uncontrolled and merciless. "Can't hold your liquor, your cum, your piss!" Andrew stood frozen, a sense of surreal disbelief washing over him as the reality of the situation sank in. He was peeing his pants, unable to stop, the stream relentless. The shock of not having felt the urge earlier compounded his humiliation. His shoes, his dignity, all seemingly ruined in that moment. Panic set in. How would he get home? Would an Uber even allow him in this state? And what about Aria and Megan? Would they spread this story, broadcasting his shame to anyone who would listen? The questions swirled in his head, a whirlpool of anxiety and embarrassment. The Uber's arrival was almost theatrical in its timing, coming just as Aria and Megan's laughter began to subside. Their amusement faded into concern as they realized no driver would willingly accept a passenger in Andrew's state. "We can't just leave him like this," Megan remarked, her voice tinged with a hint of responsibility. "I've got an idea," Aria said, a new scheme brewing in her eyes. She approached the Uber driver, leaning into his window with a practiced charm. "Hi," she began, pausing just long enough for the driver to take in her allure. "So, this is awkward, but my little brother..." she gestured towards Andrew, letting the insinuation hang heavily in the air, "he's a bit... slow. He's usually in diapers, but we've been trying to potty train him. He had an accident. Can we still ride?" Andrew, lost in his own thoughts, missed the entire exchange. It was only when Aria stepped back, and the driver's eyes met his wet pants, that the reality of the situation hit him. The driver's expression shifted from surprise to understanding. "I thought you meant a child," the driver said, somewhat taken aback. "He's...kind of like one," Aria responded, her voice laced with feigned empathy. The driver, now out of his car, rummaged in the trunk. "I have a dog blanket. He can sit on that." "Thank you so much," Aria said, her voice a blend of gratitude and manipulation. "I'll make sure to tip you." Relief washed over Andrew as he was guided into the Uber. He offered no resistance, too grateful for the ride to care about Aria's condescending remarks or her pretending he needed to be buckled in like a child. He slumped against her, his head resting on her shoulder, while she whispered empty reassurances no doubt to keep up the rouse for the driver. The Uber ride, ordered on Andrew's phone, was a surreal journey back to his place. Gone were the prospects of flirtatious banter or romantic anticipation. Instead, the conversation revolved around getting into dry clothes and the need for diapers. She told him, again for the benefit of the driver, that maybe he could try potty training again a few months. The Uber pulled up to the curb, its headlights cutting through the dark street. Aria and Megan carefully guided a heavily inebriated Andrew out of the back seat. Aria, with an arm wrapped firmly around Andrew's waist, held him upright as Megan quickly darted off towards the nearby drug store. Under the dim glow of the streetlamp, Aria supported Andrew, his head bobbing weakly. He was vaguely aware of the cool night air, the sounds of the city around him, the snicker of a couple walking by who could see the dark discoloration around his groin in the labmp light. And then there was the firm grip of Aria's hand, a grip he was both grateful for and resented but at the moment more grateful as he truly didn’t know how he could even get into his apartment without her help. Moments later, Megan reappeared, her mission accomplished. In her hands, she held a package of adult diapers and a pack of baby wipes. "Got the essentials," she announced, a smirk on her face. With Andrew between them, they made their way into his apartment building. The elevator ride to his floor was a silent one, save for the occasional muffled sound from Andrew and the beep of the elevator. Once inside Andrew's apartment, the women guided him down on the living room floor. The room spun around him as he lay there, the ceiling lights blurring into halos above. Aria and Megan set about their task with a strange blend of clinical efficiency and sensual touch. Their hands lingered just a moment longer than necessary as they undressed him, removing his soiled clothes and leaving them in a heap. Andrew's senses were dulled, but he was faintly aware of the cool air against his bare skin and the sound of the diaper package being opened. The crinkle of the diaper filled the room as they unfolded it. Aria lifted Andrew's legs, much like one would with a child, exposing him in his most vulnerable state. Megan, holding the baby wipes, began to clean him with methodical strokes, her actions gentle yet impersonal. As they positioned the diaper under him, Megan couldn't help but comment, a cruel edge to her voice. "Look at that, it's almost fitting how well he suits these diapers, especially considering what little there is to cover. Toddler underwear for a toddler sized dick." They secured the diaper around him, the tapes fastening. It was snug, the padding enveloping him. Aria and Megan stood up, surveying their handiwork. Andrew lay there, diapered and diminished. The women gathered his clothes, leaving them folded neatly on a chair, but took the remaining diapers and wipes with them as they left. The door clicked shut behind them, leaving Andrew alone on the floor in his diaper. The night's events swirled in his half-conscious mind, a jumbled mix of sensation, humiliation, and the distant echoes of Aria and Megan's laughter. patreon.com/user?u=7664738
  11. "I can't believe mom is making me take you on this stupid doll factory tour!" Cody whined. His sister Amanda says "Well I been wanting to go to this for awhile plus they got new dolls being made and it's a huge surprise. Something thats never been done!" They both start walking with the lady of rhe tour. Cody bored decides to go on his own tour. He quickly evades the group and his sister. His sister is too focused to on tour to notice he's gone. Cody finds a room labeled "keep out secret testing in progress". Cody intrested goes in and it's super dark but can hear machines going. The lights then come on and couldn't believe his eyes "he saw life like dolls same size of him but they were robots looked so real like humans. They were all in packaging except one was ripped open. "I wonder who opened this" Cody confused. Then from behind two arms grab him its the doll that was missing from the box "well well well looks like I found my replacement. No way I'm going to be somebody's baby dolly but I'm sure you'll be perfect for them" The doll takes him to this slide and throws him down "have fun with your new life. I'm about to start my own new life" the doll chuckles. Cody slides down then lands on a conveyor belt. A robot size doll that's bigger then him scans him. "Hmm I don't remember boys being part of this baby doll project but I guess they are going for sissy baby. Well let's get you ready and set to go" The robot grabs Cody but before Cody could say anything she sticks a pacifier in his mouth. "Now now no talking back its time to put you in a nice thick diaper but first we got to shave you down there" The robot then shackles him down to a chair and a bunch of hands rip his clothes off leaving him butt naked. The robot then grabs him and puts him across his knee. Cody trys to fight but the robot spanks him on the butt. Cody crys and immediately stops moving. Now lets shave those boy bits. The razor comes down and shaves his balls, dick, and butt hole. "There thats better but I think I feel someone is getting hard we can't have that can we. Now I'm going to remove your pacifier and if you try to talk back it goes right back in". Cody complies with the robot then waits for his next fate. The robot grabs a baby bottle filled with a little of milk then grabs his dick then lubes it up. And starts milking Cody till he makes loads of cum in the bottle. Cody felt so good he couldn't fight back. His orgasm was so amazing but them the robot grabs a chastity cage for his small soft dick. "Now we can't have you playing with yourself. Your new owner will decide when to unlock you. So be a good baby" the robot then locks his dick up and feeds him the bottle full of his cum and milk. "You got to be big and strong so protein was important for your milk". Cody can't believe he just drank his own cum. The robot then gets a giant thermometer but this one wasn't for mouth it was for rectal. Cody whines "Hey come on please no not that! " before he could back away the robot flipped him on his back and stickes thermometer up his butt. Cody could feel his dick precumming from feeling the thermometer hit his prostate. "Let's see well you look pretty healthy but ewww gross. Seriously do you not wipe your butt or clean down in that butthole. No no you need to be cleaned but also taught a lesson". The robot reveals a enema bag then grabs a diaper. "It's time for you to get a first experience of using your diaper at least!". The robot sticks the enema up his butt then starts shooting the water up his butt. She then diapers him up and plants him on her knee. "Now show mommy what a good girl does in her diaper". Cody tried to hold it but his butthole failed and realized a toxic messy wet poopy into his diaper. Cody cried like a baby while the robot laughed and bounced him. "Get use to it. I'm sure your owner will enjoy you so much. You look so embarrassed and blush it's so cute!" The robot then changes his diaper and wipes his butt hole very well. Before she diapered him she slipped a suppository up his butt. Then gets him dressed. Putting a small skirt barely coveting his diaper. And a shirt that says sissy boy on it. She then carries him to a box and ties his hands and feet up. "Well it's been fun but let's show you off. I'm sure someone will buy you". She put him on a conveyor which leaded to a show room. Which everybody was starring at him laughing. They couldn't believe their eyes but that wasn't even worse part. His sister Amanda saw him and approached the box. "Hey il take him please". Cody then says "omg Amanda am I glad to see you. Hey you got to untie me from this and get me out of here and....*click*" Amanda took a picture with her phone. "Now listen here sissy diaper boy I'm now in charge and your going to do what I say from now on or I can send this to all your friends" Cody scared "come on Amanda you can't do this I'm your big brother. You cant... ugh..." Cody felt the suppository taking effect. He couldn't poop himself infront of his sister. His sister smiled and knew what he was about to do. "Well looks like the baby needs to go boom boom. Daww well you are wearing a diaper go ahead show your new big sister how to fill a diaper" she then hits record on her phone to capture everything. Cody let's out a huge fart then his diaper starts to drop down from all the poo entering his diaper. "Noo this can't be happening. Im not a baby." Cody whined. Amanda smiled "peeeyeww baby bro you sure know how to pack them diapers like a pro. Looks like I got a fun pic and a video too. Here's the deal if you don't want both of these out. I mean the video is going to be way worse then picture but your going to tell mom that you want to bond with me more by being my new diaper doll toy. And... wait what's this" Amanda spots a key on the box that reads "key to chastity cage" Amanda laughs "oh my gosh I heard about these. Wow now your really going to be all mine. If you ever want to wank your little wee wee off then I suggest you better listen to everything I say. Also we got to get home my friends are coming over and I can't wait to show them to you. Plus il need help changing that stinky diaper. Gosh who knew boys took big dumps"
  12. After being put in diapers by machines. Cody falls down onto the conveyor and accidently poops his diaper. The machine detects it and thinks cody is a dirty diaper. So it grabs him giving him a huge poopy diaper wedgie then throws him in the diaper pail with the rest of dirty diapers. Art piece by jigarvasani
  13. A/N: IMPORTANT TO NOTICE Hey all! I hope you're all doing well! Do not worry! I am still working on my other stories but had started this a while ago and felt like I should post it! Just a warning in the beginning that this story will contain a lot of non-con, sexual content and humiliation. If this makes you uncomfortable than I suggest you don't read it! I love seeing comments so I'd love to see everyone's comments! ooOoo Summary: When a young new independent journalist decides to write about something other than the typical run of the mill stories, she is introduced into a new life, just not in the way she expected. ooOoo Chapter 1: MommyslittleBiggurls.com 22 December 2021 Hello Friends! It sure has been a while! I hope you’re all doing well on this frosty morning. Here in Montana, we’re certainly going to have a white Christmas. Sugar and Cookie sure are excited to see Santa and have been extra careful to be good girls; always asking for the potty like good little girls, eating all of their veggies at dinner and making sure to drink all of their babas full of yummy milk! I’m sure you all are experiencing the same with your little ones at the moment, even the disobedient can’t ignore the happy cheer of Christmas. I really can’t believe it’s only been three months since we first adopted our newest little girl, Honey! Of course with new littles, it’s always an adventure and Sugar and Cookie are being the best big sisters they can be! It can be hard, especially around the holidays to deal with an un-regressed, naughty little so that brings me to the topic of today’s post: Punishments. If you're like me or are a new caregiver, it’s never easy training a new little and before they can be our sweet little babies, they will be literal demons! It is never fun but in order to nip that naughty behavior in the bum, punishment is required and it is not always as simple as quick spanking. Listed below, you will find three different punishments to try if you, like me, were at a loss. Punishments: Punishment 1: Corner time with a twist Depending on the severity of the naughty behavior, instruct your little one it's corner time for a certain amount of time. While many, if not all, will just find this incredibly boring and whine, there is a small twist. Listen carefully to these five steps: Take littles’ clothes away (that means no diapers/pullups/or undies as well!), Give a nice soapy cold enema to their bum-bum and insert a buttplug to ensure no dribbles Administer a firm spanking (I’ve found different objects such as a belt or hairbrush to be most effective!) Little will bend down or kneel in the corner with their bum-bum high in the air for everyone to see After a certain amount of time, if the little has not moved from their position, you will instruct the little to tell you what they did wrong and have them beg to release their bodily functions. If you are unsatisfied with their response, even more minutes will be added to corner time Punishment 2: Potty Time with Horsy Let’s get real, we’ve all struggled with littles refusing to go potty in their diapers or on the training toilet and it’s a pain to have to insert enemas and suppositories into screaming littles. That’s how I came up with horsy time. The rocking horse, while meant to be an object of amusement during playtime, can just as quickly be turned into an object of torture. What you need to do is listed below: The little will sit on the rocking horse in only their bottoms, whether that be a diaper or pull-up Place earphones on little and set to the wet diaper hypnosis Instruct the little to rock back and forth and do not stop no matter what and not to mess or wet themselves Plan a certain amount of time and come back when the time is up If the little is still rocking and is dry, they have earned the privilege to go potty. If not, horsy time is extended and the dirty diaper stays on another several hours The constant rhythmic motion combined with hypnosis at the same timing will put the littles right in the mood to have to relieve themselves. How they do it will no longer matter. The added pressure to keep a constant rocking in order to avoid further punishment will take a heavy toll on their mind as well and increase the need for positive behavior. Punishment 3: No Playtime with Teddy If you choose to allow your little to have any sexual release, this punishment can have a rewarding effect. As a human race, we are sexual beings but not everyone deserves or should have such an experience. Littles have gotten it into their minds that they should be allowed to have such experiences, but what do they know? They’re just littles. It is our job as caretakers to instruct and control their urges. If we leave them to their own devices, who knows what will happen? My little girls are allowed one play session a week with Mr. Teddy Bear to release all of their icky cummies by the hand of mommy and daddy. While Rosie and Cookie know being a good girl will lead to happy feelings, Honey is still learning. Orgasm and cum denial or “the tickles and ice cream dance” as we call it, are an excellent way to assert dominance and make them quickly realize who the real grownups are and who is in charge. Mittens or restraints are a must for untrained littles! You never know where their wandering hands will end up! Chastity belts are also a great device, especially if they get a little too excited during playtime and try humping (which is extremely discouraged!) IMPORTANT: It is important to enforce anything sexual is not allowed without the approval, observation, and act by grown-ups because you never know when littles might accidentally injure themselves! I hope you all enjoyed my little list and hopefully it helps you on your journey to having a regressed little! It may seem tough at times but we’ve all gone through it before (I currently am!) Stay tuned for next time and meanwhile, have a Merry Christmas! Love, Mommy Bree ooOoo The sound of the ding signaling the post had been successfully posted was a happy feeling to say the least. Unknown outside the world of ageplay, Bree Hawthorne was as famous as could be within the community. With over ten thousand followers and readers, people tuned in from all over the world to read about their simple little family. Being a blogger on top of a mommy had become her full time job and she didn’t regret a single second of it. She always knew she wanted to have a family and her love for blogging couldn’t have been a more perfect combination. There were so many who envied to fill the role of a Hawthorne little but only so few could actually meet the requirements. That’s why they had taken to unique means of obtaining their little girls. Kidnapping was a bit too harsh a term. They preferred adoption. Did the public need to know that? No. Would they ever find out? Probably not. Looking around outside the large glass windows, the only view for miles was farmland with snow capped mountains in the background. Bloomington, Montana was the perfect place to go to if one didn’t want to be found. They had the freedom to be who they were without any nosey neighbors disrupting their lives. Her husband, coming from old money, allowed them to own lavish homes around the country, buy the newest high-tech adult-baby equipment and pay off those they needed to stay quiet. Everything was as it should be. Everything would soon be perfect. They were our babydolls. Sugar, Cookie, Honey and- “Another post?” Jasper. At the sound of his deep voice, she spun around in the swivel chair. Face to face with her blonde, strong-jawed, blue eyed handsome husband. He was everything she dreamed of in a man. Strong, smart, caring, loyal. A great daddy to their three wonderful girls. What more could a person ask of a spouse? “Yes. I’ve finished just in time for… lunch!” she exclaimed, glancing at the time and shutting down the macbook. “Today’s post was about punishments and I gave the best examples of Honey. How is she doing this morning actually? The baby monitor on her end has been awfully quiet.” she asked, having been in the office the entire morning working. “Sleeping.” was his only response, scowling with his hand over his face. “Do I want to know what happened?” “No.” It was always a struggle to tame the girl and her rebellious behavior and silly dreams. Most often then not her bum was black and blue, littered with marks and bruises. How a five foot, one-hundred-twenty pound girl with not an ounce of body fat had managed to give them this much a fight, they did not know. While the little blonde fought they pushed back just as hard. She would break eventually. They all do. “Sugar and Cookie are in the playpen writing letters to Santa,” that made them crack a smile. “I can feed them while you handle, Honey? I may just take her over my knee again and that’s not what she needs at the moment.” Bree reached out, wrapping her arms around his neck as his face burrowed into her kinky black hair, placing a trail of kisses upon her chocolate colored skin. “So it’s my turn to play the bad mommy,” she mused. “Precisely.” her husband cracked a smile. “It feels so much longer than three months since we got her. Remember?” Oh, how could they forget…
  14. This story was created for the 3rd Kasarberang Story Contest. It is currently incomplete, but I do plan on working on it more in the future. --- My first week of college had gone way smoother than I had anticipated it would. All of my professors are nice and haven't assigned an unreasonable amount of homework, the weather was beautiful, and my sorority sisters are all kind! Last week I was more nervous than I had ever been in my life. I was leaving my parents for the first time and about to start a new chapter of my life. But if every week could be as good as this one, then there would be nothing to worry about. My name is Natalia and I'm a freshman at Green Meadow University. Green Meadow had been my first choice of college and thankfully my grades were good enough to get me in. Unfortunately it also meant that I wouldn't be able to stay at home with my parents, as Green Meadow was over 5 hours away. Saying goodbye to my parents after they dropped me off had been one of the hardest things I have had to do. The support from my sorority sisters really helped me get through the first day. My older sister was part of a sorority all throughout her college career and always told me about how much it had helped her. Her stories and testimonies left an impression on me, and it's ultimately what made me decide to apply for one myself. Delta Delta Sigma was one of the most exclusive at Green Meadow and somehow I managed to get accepted in, along with only two other freshman. Delta Delta Sigma only had a total of 14 members. Three freshmen, four sophomores, two juniors, and three seniors. All of them have been super nice to me so far, but it was fairly apparent that some of them had a bit of an ego. I guess that's to be expected when you're a part of such an exclusive group. As long as I stay on their good side it shouldn't be an issue. My fellow freshmen didn't seem to have an ego like our seniors. They seemed like genuinely nice people, just trying to adjust to one of the biggest changes of their lives. Kate had come to Green Meadow from half-way across the country. While I was a lot closer to my family than her, we still managed to form a bond over being so far away from our families. Kate is roughly five-foot-five and has shoulder-length blonde hair. My other freshman sister, Sierra, came from a town only 30 minutes away from Green Meadow. I'll admit that I was a bit envious of her. Having her own car and being only thirty minutes away from her parents meant she could visit home basically whenever she wanted. That wasn't all though. Her height of five-foot-nine was quite contrasting to my short, five-foot-one stature. Her double-D's were also quite lovely when compared to the A-cups that I'm sporting. All of this, combined with her smooth, dark skin and pretty black pony-tail got her a lot of attention from the guys around campus. Sierra was definitely a looker and she knew it. Despite that, she was still very kind, which made me feel a bit guilty. Even though my first week of college had been smooth, I was still glad that it was finally the weekend. Going to four different classes nearly every day sounded easy to me at first, but it was a lot more exhausting than high school. Once I finished my last class for the day I headed back to the sorority house to get a jump-start on my weekend and veg-out a bit. I was glad to find that my roommate was gone when I got to my room. Lisa, my roommate, was nice, but it was very apparent that she thought pretty highly of herself. She was a senior with a drop-dead gorgeous body. At first I thought it was a bit odd that I got paired up with a senior, but that ended up being the case for both Kate and Sierra as well. I guess it's supposed to be some kind of mentorship thing, but it's a bit intimidating to be honest. With her gone I could relax a lot easier. In no time at all I had changed into a pair of sweatpants and booted up an episode of The Office on my laptop. While that played in the background I got started on my weekend homework. By the time Lisa got back I was already finished and on the verge of falling asleep. "Hey Natalia," Lisa said as she entered out room, "how was your day today?" "It was good, but I'm glad it's the weekend." I responded, waking up a bit. "Me too! I don't know if you've heard yet, but tomorrow is our yearly fundraising event." "Oh, no one told me about that. Is there anything I need to do?" I asked. Why didn't anyone tell me sooner? It's not like I had any plans, but a bit more notice would have been nice. "Sorry about that! We always have our fundraiser on the first Saturday of them term. We must have forgot to tell you all. We already have everything ready, so we'll tell you what you have to do tomorrow." "Oh, okay." I thought it was a bit odd that Lisa didn't give me much information about the fundraiser. I didn't want to bother her by asking for more details though so I let it go. It sounds like everything has already been taken care of anyways, so it should be easy. Later in the night, somewhere around 9:00pm, Lisa told me that it would probably be a good idea to go to bed early. When I questioned her on why, she would only tell me that it was going to be a long day tomorrow and that I'd want to be well-rested for it. I almost never went to bed before 11:00pm and hardly ever had an issue getting through the day. I thought about just ignoring her, but at the same time she actually knew what was going on tomorrow. I decided to compromised and call it a night at 10:00pm. ----- I was jolted awake in the morning due to a bunch of pressure on my arms and legs. I tried to sit up out of surprise but couldn't due to the pressure on my shoulders keeping me pinned against my bed. When I looked around I saw that the people holding me down were other sorority members, who were all sporting malicious grins. "What the hell is going on?!" I demanded with my raspy morning voices. "We're getting you ready for the fundraiser." Lisa stated as she loomed over me at the end of my bed. "What the fuck does this have to do with the fundraiser?" I asked while trying to shake myself free from the grips of my sorority sisters. "You'll see real soon." Lisa said with a giggle. Lisa walked around to my right side and stood next to Janna, the junior sorority member who was pinning down that side of me. I looked over at Lisa and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. I gasped as she bent over and stuck her fingers under my basketball shorts that I had gone to sleep in. She then began forcing them down my legs, exposing my panties. "Hey! Stop! What the fuck!?" I yelled, trying to thrash around even harder to try to free myself. "You've got quite the mouth on you little girl." Janna stated and let out a giggle. "And some cute panties, too." Gabby, the sophomore on my left, added. I peered down my bed and was able to get a glimpse at the panties I had one. They were my pinks ones with a black, lace bow on the center. One of my most embarrassing, yet comfortable ones. "Quiet down Natalia. We'll be done faster if you stop struggling." Lisa suggested as she pulled my shorts down to my ankles. "Done with what?!" Let me go!" I demanded, continuing my struggling. "I told you. We're getting you ready for the fundraiser. Now quiet down and hold still." Lisa commanded, this time with more annoyance in her voice. "Not until you tell me what the fuck you're doing and why you're holding me down!" I continued to demand. "Fine! If it will get you to shut up and stop struggling then I'll show you what we're doing." Lisa said as she removed my shorts and took them out of sight. When she came back she was holding something square and pink in hands. The was some kind of pattern on it as well, but I couldn't make out any details about it. Dread began to envelope me as she unfolded the object and I began to realize what it was. "What the fuck is that for?!" I yelled at Lisa. "It's for you. It's part of your outfit for the fundraiser." Lisa answered, acting like it was a normal piece of clothing. "I'm not wearing a diaper!" I shouted at her. "Oh yes you are. That's why I have Gabby and Janna here to help me. Now settle down and let me put your diaper on." Lisa ordered. "No way! You're not putting me in a diaper!" I yelled at Lisa as I continued trying to free myself. "Alright, I think we've heard enough out of you." Lisa stated as she set the diaper down on top of my stomach and walked away. When she came back a moment later she was holding something else in her hands. As she got closer I began to get a better look at what it was. It appeared to be a pink pacifier that had black, leather straps attached to the sides of it. The pacifier was way bigger than any I'd even seen before though. A new wave of panic kicked in as she grabbed the handle on the pacifier shield and started approaching my face. "Get that away from me!" I demanded as I jerked my head away from her. "So fussy. This is why I told you to go to bed early last night." Lisa commented as she used her free hand to grip my chin and force me to look at her. With my mouth forced open by her she popped the huge rubber nipple of the pacifier into my mouth. With it inside, she quickly took hold of both leather straps and pulled them behind my head. Her large boobs were smothering my face as she secured the two straps together tightly behind my head using the buckle latch. With it secured there was no way for me to get it out without my hands. I tried to yell at them to take the damn pacifier out, but the nipple was so big that it prevent me from forming anything close to comprehensible. The pacifier seriously took up almost all of the room in my mouth and forced my tongue down. I realized now that I wouldn't even be able to call for help. There's no way anyone outside of the room would be able to hear my muffled cries. "There we go, that's much better. You be a good girl and nurse your paci while mommy gets your diaper on." Lisa cooed at me and pinched my cheeks. Now that I was effectively muted she went back to work. She took hold of the thin sides of my panties and pulled them down my legs, exposing my hairless crotch. With little effort on her part she removed it completely and threw it off to the side. "Aww look at that, smooth as a baby." Lisa commented, eliciting laughs from everyone except me. I continued struggling as Lisa picked up the diaper and brought it between my legs. The girls holding me down lifted my bottom up for her so that she could position the diaper below me. As they lowered me I felt my butt make contact with the soft padding, sending another wave of fear through me. Why was this happening to me?! With the diaper now positioned under me, Lisa walked away to grab something else. She came back moments later holding two bottles. She popped the lid off of one and began pouring it out onto her hand. She then began rubbing her hands together and seconds later she was rubbing it into my crotch and bottom. "We wouldn't want our cute little baby to get a rash, would we?" Lisa asked rhetorically as she rubbed the baby oil into me. There was no way she seriously believed I would use this diaper, right? Once she was satisfied with the amount of baby oil she had applied to me Lisa opened the second bottle. She tipped it upside down over me and began dumping baby powder out onto my pelvis. The smell quickly began dominating the room as she poured much more than necessary out and began rubbing it into my butt cheeks, legs, and crotch. Once Lisa deemed me to be sufficiently powdered she grabbed the front of the diaper brought it up and over my pelvis. The tapes sounded like someone scratching a chalk board to me as she pulled them loose. One by one she ripped them off and used them to secure the over-sized diaper. In no time at all she had the diaper securely fastened to me. "There we go! That wasn't so bad, was it baby?" Lisa asked me, knowing that I couldn't tell her what I really thought. Of course it was bad! I am an eighteen year old college student being forced to suck on a pacifier while my upperclassman hold me down and force an over-sized baby diaper on me! "Now let's finish getting you dressed and you can go meet the other babies." Lisa said as she went back to grab something else. Other babies? Were they doing this to Kate and Sierra too? What the hell kind of fundraiser is this? When Lisa came back she was holding something that made me want to puke. She walked in to the room showcasing a small, pink, ruffly dress. When I say small, I mean small. This dress looked like it was for a six year old's princess Halloween costume. If it weren't for the diaper they had just put on me, I would never believe that they would try to make me wear that. I prayed that it would be too small to fit on me. "Get her shirt off girls. We're starting to run late." Lisa commanded. Next thing I knew Lisa was holding my legs down while Gabby and Jana worked my shirt off my body. I tried to fight them off but was no match for their combined strength. In a depressing amount of time they had removed my shirt and exposed my small chest. "You're perfect for this. If you had any boobies at all this dress might not fit." Lisa stated as she picked the dress back up and re-positioned herself to my side. From this close I could see how small the dress really was. There was no way this dress would cover the diaper at all! Without warning Gabby and Jana used their legs to keep mine pinned down. They both took hold of my arms and forced me to sit up. The movement made the diaper crinkle, embarrassing me even further. Gabby and Jana then forced me to raise my arms into the air. Once there, Lisa began forcing the dress onto me. Sadly, it stretched just enough to go down my body. Once it was as low as it could go, Lisa backed off. "Aww don't you look adorable! We're not done yet though!" Lisa said as she went to grab more clothes. The dress felt tight on my body. Not uncomfortable, but noticeable. As I suspected, the frilly three-layer skirt did nothing to cover any of the diaper. The sleeves were very short and barely covered any of my arms. The front of the dress had a purple and pink fairy made out of glitter on it, something that I hadn't noticed until now. The shoulders puffed out into little balls and had ribbons on top of them. There was no way this dress was made for kids older than 8. This was almost as humiliating as the diaper! When Lisa came back she had a bag that I couldn't see the contents of. The first thing she pulled out were pink and white thigh-high socks, which she promptly pulled up my legs. Next were a pair of pink Mary Jane shoes, decorated with rhinestones and butterflies. Like the socks, she quickly attached them to my feet. To my dismay, they fit perfectly. The last thing she pulled out was a large, pink pacifier with a unicorn design on it. Attached to it was a pacifier clip with a strap decorated with the same unicorn as the pacifier. Lisa attached the strap to the left shoulder of the dress and let the pacifier dangle down. "Are you going to be a good girl if I take your binky out? Nod your head for me." Lisa asked me in a voice as if she was talking to a child. There was no way for me to escape at the moment, so I decided the best course of action would be to cooperate. Hopefully I'd have a chance to escape later. Until then I just needed to bide my time. I nodded my head. "Okay, if you're naughty we're going to have to punish you again, okay?" Lisa said as she undid the belt on the gag. She slowly removed it from my mouth, only to quickly replace it with the pacifier that had been clipped onto the dress. Lisa looked me in the eyes and kept her finger on the pacifier until I started sucking on it. Only then did she remove her hand. "There's my good girl. Now you keep that in until someone else takes it out, okay? Stand her up girls." Lisa ordered. Gabby and Jana took hold of my arms and were easily able to lift me onto my feet. I didn't try to fight them as they propped me up and kept hold of my arms. "I think we can let her go now. She's going to be a good girl, right?" Lisa asked me. I responded by nodding my head again. Even if they let go of me I wouldn't be able to escape. Lisa was between me and the door, which was shut and probably locked. Gabby and Jana released me from their grip and I did nothing but let my arms fall to my sides. "Gabby start combing her hair. Jana, go make sure the other babies are ready. I'll start doing her makeup." Lisa commanded. Jana unlocked the door walked out, closing it as she left. Gabby also followed her orders and began combing out my bedhead. Lisa went to her side of the bedroom and grabbed her makeup kit and placed it on my bed next to me. The two girls spent the next 5 minutes performing their respective tasks. I tried to sit as still as possible while keeping the pacifier in my mouth. I had no clue what all Lisa was putting on me, as they had me faced away from the mirror. When Gabby finished brushing my hair she began pulling it into twin-tails and tying ribbons around them. "I think that should just about do it. Why don't you turn around and see how pretty you look, Baby Girl?" Lisa said and she packed up her makeup kit. I slowly turned around and braced myself for what I was about to see. When I saw my reflection I didn't even recognize myself. The childish outfit, hairstyle, and makeup made me look a third my age. With the pacifier and obviously exposed diaper though, it brought it down to a sixth. I felt absolutely humiliated and my red face definitely reflected it. "You're the prettiest baby ever! Now come on, let's go get you set." Lisa said, taking my arm and forcing me to stand. "Wait! I don't want everyone to see me like this!" I protested, letting the pacifier fall out of my mouth. "Don't worry, Baby! They'll take one look at you and die from a cuteness overload! Now, be a good girl for me and keep that binky in until I take it out." Lisa responded as she picked up the dangling pacifier and shoved it back in my mouth. I knew that negotiating wasn't going to change their minds, so I bowed my head and let Lisa drag me out of our bedroom. The thick padding of the diaper forced me to have a bit of waddle in my walk, which only furthered my embarrassment. Thankfully, only a few of our sorority sisters were outside in the living room. All them look at me as we walked out and started cooing at me. "She's so cute!" "I wish she was my baby sister!" "She looks just like a toddler!" Their lack of shock at what was going on all but confirmed to me that they were all in on this too. I tried to ignore them as best as I could as I let Lisa lead me around. That was until we started nearing to front door. There was no way I was letting her take me outside like this! I stopped dead in my tracks and yanked my hand away from Lisa. "I am not going out there like this!" I stated. "Stop being fussy, Nataly. We have a schedule to keep and I know everyone wants to see how cute you are." Lisa responded, grabbing my hand again. "Absolutely not! This has gone far enough already!" I yelled at her. "Ughh, I knew you were going to be fussy about this. Girls, help me out here." Lisa ordered. Out of nowhere, the girls who had previously been cooing at me had taken hold of my limbs. "Let go of me!" I said as I started trying to struggle free. Unfortunately it was in vain though. The girls had me exactly where they wanted me and there was nothing I could do to free myself. "Since you can't be a good girl we're going to have to use your naughty-binky. Lisa said as she forced my mouth open. A second later she had the nipple of the pacifier gag back in my mouth. The belt was then secured behind my head again, effectively silencing me. The girls then began forcing me towards the door. Despite how hard I tried, nothing I could do would stop them. Lisa opened the door for them as they drug me out into the sunlight. What I saw waiting in the front yard began to fill me with dread. Setup in the front yard were three big highchairs. Occupying two of them were Kate and Sierra, who were both dressed up as babyish as myself. Both girls were strapped into the highchairs with tight, black straps that buckled at their stomachs. Their wrists and ankles had leather cuffs around them that attached directly to the highchairs, keeping them from freeing themselves. Kate seemed to be wearing a small, white sundress covered all over in sunflowers. She had a matching pacifier strap attached to her shoulder, which held a dangling, yellow pacifier. Her medium sized breast caused it to ride up though, making sure that the diaper she was wearing was plainly visible. The diaper that she had no doubt been forced into as well matched her sundress, being white and covered with sunflowers. She was also gagged like me, only hers was yellow. Sierra wasn't much better off. Her breasts must have been too big for any actual children clothes to fit her, so instead she was wearing a white shirt with the Pampers logo on it. The shirt was still small and accentuated her breasts, but it seemed like it was actually made for an adult to wear. In addition to that she had a short, blue skirt with suspenders that ran over her shoulders. The skirt was so high up on her that it left the diaper she was also wearing completely exposed. Hers was light blue and decorated with clouds and suns with smiley faces. Like the two of us she also had her own color coded pacifier attached to her suspender with a strap. Also like us, she was gagged. 'What the hell kind of fundraiser is this?!' I thought to myself. I didn't have much time to think though, as I was rapidly being dragged over to the empty highchair. I renewed my efforts to struggle free, but it was pointless. With little effort, the girls were able to shove me into the seat and lock my wrists and ankles away with the cuffs. Lisa then came over and tighted the straps over my waist and shoulders, making sure that I could hardly move in the seat. Finally, she picked up the tray and locked it into place in front of me. "You're even cuter when you're pouting, Baby. You sit tight and be a good girl while your big sisters finish getting ready." Lisa said before patting my head and walking off. I looked over to Kate, who looked back at me with a defeated look in her eyes. I had been too distracted before to notice, but there were a bunch of tables set up on the other side of the front yard. On top of them were several boxes and sitting in front of them were two sophomore girls from the sorority. They appeared to be getting ready to take money. It didn't take long for people to take notice of us. A small group quickly began to form of people gawking and taking pictures. Several of them were starting to make comments about how cute we were and laughing at our giant diapers. The three of us tried to hide or faces and ignore them, but it was futile. "Attention everyone! This years Delta Delta Sigma fundraiser is almost ready to begin!" Lisa yelled into a megaphone from somewhere out of our sight. "This year we're doing a baby feed! Here soon you'll be able to purchase jars of baby food and feed them to our cute little babies! All proceeds will go to funding Delta Delta Sigma for the year! The line starts over there!" Baby food feed? Is that why they did this to us? I don't want to eat baby food! There was no way I am going to let that happen! A lot of the crowd began to head for the tables in front of all of the boxes. A few second later and I could begin to see Lisa approaching us, carrying something in her hand. "Hello babies! As you just heard, we're doing a baby food feed, and as you probably could have guessed, you're the babies! I know you're probably all a bit cranky right now, but we need you to be very good girls for us today. People are paying good money to feed you all some nice, yummy baby food. I expect all of you to behave and eat it all with no fussing. Each of you is going to have babysitter standing by to make sure you're behaving. Remember, bad little girls get punished. Let me show you what you can expect if you're naughty." Lisa explained. Lisa pulled a small remote out of her pocket and showed it to us. She mad a point of making sure we could see her pressing the button. As soon as she did, terrible pain ripped throughout my entire body. I screamed into the pacifier in my mouth and thrashed against my restraints. I couldn't even think until it stopped and I was left panting into my gag. My eyes were watering and I was having trouble collecting myself. "Naughty babies get zappies. Unless you enjoyed that, I suggest you be on your best behavior. Now that we got that out of the way, I'm going to go around and take your binkies out. When I do, I expect you to tell me that you're going to be a good girl and nothing else, okay?" Lisa said as she approached Sierra. "Fuck you, Lisa!" Sierra said as soon as her gag was removed. "You can't force us to do this! Let us out, now!" Suddenly, Sierra yelled out in pain as she began getting shocked. "What a vulgar little girl! If we weren't low on time I would wash that naughty mouth out with soap!" Lisa exclaimed, clearing enjoying watching Sierra suffer. After a few seconds, Lisa stopped zapping Sierra and gave her a moment to catch her breath. "Well?" Lisa asked her. "Fuck you." Sierra said. Lisa then spent the next thirty seconds bursting Sierra with electricity. She would go for a few seconds before stopping and letting Sierra catch her breath. There was little time for her to recover though, as the zapping would start up again soon after. By the end of it, it was obvious that Sierra was crying. "Are you ready to be a good girl now?" Lisa asked the poor girl. "Y-yes." Sierra responded quietly with a defeated tone. "Say it. And apologize for swearing." Lisa commanded. "I'll be a good girl. I'm sorry for swearing." Sierra answered, still trying to recompose herself. "That's what I thought." Lisa said as she picked up the pacifier dangling from Sierra's suspender and placed it in her mouth. "Keep that in until someone takes it out." Lisa finally showed Sierra mercy and left her alone. She walked over to where Kate was confined and began removing her pacifier gag. Kate remained silent as she did so, likely afraid of suffering as Sierra had. "Well Katie, are you going to be a good girl?" Lisa asked her. "I'll be a good girl." Kate said. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Lisa replied, placing the non-gag pacifier in Kate's mouth. Dread filled me as Lisa approached me. Like Sierra, I wanted to tell her off and demand she release us. I was absolutely terrified of getting shocked again though. The brief few seconds of it earlier was the worst pain I had ever felt. I don't know if I could stand it again. As Lisa reached behind me and unsecured my gag I prepared myself to submit. "I'll be a good girl." I told Lisa, not even making her prompt me. "I know you will, sweetie." Lisa said, placing the pacifier attached to my outfit in my mouth and patting my head. Lisa walked off and returned shortly holding something new. When she sat them down on the try of the highchair I was in I was able to determine that they were bibs. Not normal baby bibs though, these had to be custom made. For one, they were sized up and clearly meant to be worn by an adult. Secondly, they each had our names sewn into them. The one clearly designated for me was white with a pink border and "Baby Natalie" sewn in pink cursive. Insead of a dot on the 'i' there was instead a tiara. "Look what your big sisters got you! We wouldn't want to get food all over your pretty clothes, would we?" Lisa said. Lisa picked up the bib with my name on it and placed it over my check. She brought the wings of it behind my neck and secured it using the attached velcro. She then went around and did the same to the other girls. Their bibs were similar to mine, but instead of being pink they were yellow and blue. The 'i' on Kate's, which had 'Katie' instead, had a sunflower for a dot. Sierra's was blue and had a cloud. "There we go. I think we're just about ready to get started. Remember what happens to bad babies." She held up the remote and threatened us. I don't think any of us needed to be reminded. Lisa left us and walked over to the table. She said something to them that we weren't able to hear. She returned again shortly after followed by Janna and the other Junior in our sorority, Hannah. "Me again babies! We're going to be your babysitters for a while. Janna, you're with Katie and Hannah you're with Sierra. Little Natalie here is mine. We'll make sure you're behaving and that anyone who wants to feed you knows what to do. We each have our own remotes in case anyone decides to be naughty. We're just about to start, so I'm going to go over what's expected from you. We're going to take out your binkies and you're going to stay quiet unless spoken to. If someone asks you something you will respond appropriately with a babyish voice. You already know what happens if you don't. When people come up with the babyfood they bought they're going spoon-feed it to you. You're going to eat all of it and then thank them in your cutest baby voice when you're done. Nice and easy." Lisa explained. After hearing that I knew that this was going to get way worse before it got better. What did I do to deserve this? My choices were either let myself get fed baby food while dressed like a baby or get shocked until I'm willing to do so. I have no memory of ever eating baby food, but there is no doubt in my mind that it doesn't taste good. Did I do something in a past life to warrant this? I pray that none of this finds its way to my friends and family back home. "Oh! It looks like our first customers are coming!" Lisa said. All three of us looked over in horror to see a lady and two guys walking towards us from the tables. Each one had a jar of baby food in their hands. Fear enveloped me as it became that the guy and girl were both approaching me. "Oh my god, Lisa. Your baby is so cute!" The lady said after placing the jar on the tray of my highchair. "I know! Isn't she the cutest? Not to say that our other babies aren't cute as well." Lisa responded. "Oh for sure, they're all adorable. This is already the best fundraiser that DDS has done. Do you want some num-nums, sweetie?" She said as she turned and looked at me. Do I respond? Should I just stay silent? The fear of getting shocked again made me nervous to do anything. Lisa told me to keep the pacifier in and I didn't want to disobey her. "Oh I'm sure she does." Lisa answered for me. She proceeded to pull the pacifier out of my mouth and let it fall to my chest. "Ask Ms. Kenzie to feed you, baby". "Pwease feed me Ms. Kenzie" I said in my best little girl voice, humiliated. Having to endure this was already terrible. Why did she have to make me beg for it? "You got it, sweetie. Here comes the airplane!" The lady said. Kenzie unscrewed the lid of the jar and used the plastic, pink spoon that Lisa gave her to scoop up the goo. She held it up in front of me and began making airplane sounds as she floated it around my face. Hesitantly, I opened my mouth for her. After another second of airplane noises and Kenzie waving the spoon around she placed it into my mouth. I closed my mouth around the spoon and was immediately assaulted by the taste of Peas. The taste and smell alone almost made me gag, but the texture was what about pushed me over the edge. All of it was awful! I almost spit it out before remembering what would surely happen if I did. As Kenzie retracted the spoon I let the goop stay in my mouth. I swallowed it as soon as I could to try to get it out of my mouth. "What a hungry baby. Here comes another airplane!" Kenzie said, scooping up another spoon full. I opened my mouth for her again in hopes of making this go by as fast as possible. She inserted the spoon into my mouth and I swallowed the baby food as fast as I could. We continued this cycle two more times until she finally ran out of food. I was relieved for all of three seconds, where I got a glimpse at the line that was forming behind Kenzie. There were 6 people waiting to feed me! I look over at Kate and Sierra and lines were forming behind them as well. From the look on their faces it was apparent that they despised the baby food just as much as I did. "Remember to thank Ms. Kenzie, baby." Lisa said. "Tank you Ms. Kenzie." I said with my baby voice. "It was my pleasure sweetheart. If you're lucky maybe I'll visit you again." Kenzie said as she moved to the side. The guy who had walked over with her stepped forward and unscrewed the lid on his jar. Kenzie passed the spoon off to him and started chatting with Lisa. "Are you ready?" He asked me, not caring to pretend I was a baby. "Y-yes." I answered and opened my mouth. I didn't notice before, but he was actually kind of cute. I was too humiliated to look him in the face while he shoveled the nasty, sweet-potato flavored goo into my mouth. Like before I swallowed as quickly as possible. "Tank you for feeding me." I said as he walked away to join Kenzie and Lisa. He didn't even acknowledge me as he did, which was honestly relieving. Next in line was another girl, one that I recognized from my writing class. I prayed that she didn't recognize me. "Hi there Baby Natalie. Are you hungry?" She asked me. I nodded my head in response to her and she began opening the jar she had. "Well I got just the thing for you. Say 'ahh'." "Ahh" I said quietly and opened my mouth for her. She scooped up a big spoonful of food and moved it towards my mouth. She had terrible aim though, which caused some of it to get on my cheek. "Hold still, baby. I don't want to miss." The girl said as she scooped up another spoonful. Once again she 'missed' and got even more on my cheek. "Such a squirmy little girl. It's a good thing you're strapped into your highchair." "Tank you for feeding me." I said when I finally finished her jar. "Oh it was no problem, Baby. But I think you owe me an apology for being so squirmy." She responded. She wanted ME to apologize?! She purposefully got baby food all over my damn face and she wants me to apologize for it? I was about ready to yell at her when I noticed Lisa glaring at me, remote in hand. "Sowwy fo being squirmy." I answered after sighing. Next up was another guy. He seemed a lot more happy to be here than the first guy. "That's a cute diaper! Did you pick it out yourself?" He asked me. I had almost forgotten about the diaper. I had, embarrassingly, grown used to the bulk between my legs and the padding I was sitting on. Him referencing made me take notice of it again though. It also reminded me that it was clearly visible to everyone around. I answered him by shaking my head. "Shy, huh? Well that's okay. Open up for the choo-choo train!" He said. I opened my mouth to accept the latest spoonful of gross mush and he began making train noises. This continued for the whole duration of him feeding me. When he was done I thanked him like everyone else. After being fed by four more people I began to notice a problem: I need to pee. I usually went right after getting out of bed, but today that wasn't possible. I was too distracted by everything happening until now to even notice how badly I needed to go. "Lisa?" I asked out loud after thanking the last person who fed me. "What is it, baby?" Lisa asked, coming closer to me. "I need to pee." I whispered to her. "So?" "So let me out!" "No Natalie. If you need to go potty you can use your diaper." "But Lisa-" "Natalie, if I hear one more peep out of you about this you're getting zappies. Use your diapie and eat your food like a good girl." I screamed internally. Dressing me up like this was already bad enough, but she actually expected me to use the diaper? I should have honestly seen that coming. I resolved to hold it as long as I could, but I knew that it was a losing battle. There was no way I'd be able to hold on for much longer. After two more jars of baby food, it happened. I was clearly doing a potty dance in my seat. It was pretty ineffective though due to how tight the restraints were on me. As I was accepting another spoonful I felt a bit leak out. I gasped and some of the food fell down onto my bib. "Uh oh, is someone having an accident?" The girl feeding me asked. I ignored her and futility tried to stop myself from peeing. Not being able to move my arms made it impossible though. I was forced to accept my fate as I let go and allowed my pee to flood the diaper. The diaper easily absorbed all of it and spread it out. I could feel the warmth touching my butt as it flowed backwards. "Aww, it's okay, baby. That's why you have your diaper." Lisa said, patting my head. I had my eyes and mouth closed while I was peeing. That didn't stop the girl from continuing to try to feed me though. My lips were closed and she still forced the spoon through them, getting baby food all over my upper lip and below my nose. I reacted with surprise and she pulled the spoon out, leaving most of the food in my mouth. Once I was finished releasing my bladder I swallowed it, only to immediately be met with another spoonful. Unlike when it was dry, the diaper was impossible to ignore when wet. The heat from my urine was a constant reminder of what I just did and the now expanded padding squelched as I wiggled around. The padding between my legs had expanded a good amount and forced them apart more than before, giving anyone in front of me an even better view of the diaper. Several more jars of baby food later and I was full. I was beginning to slow down in swallowing the food I was given. The person holding the spoon would be waiting in front of my mouth with another spoonful before I could even finish swallowing the previous one. Most of them would wait for me to accept the next one myself, but some would force the spoon into my mouth before I was ready. This made me even messier and made it even harder for me to catch-up. "Lisa, please, I don't think I can eat anymore." I said after thanking the person who had just finished. Suddenly I felt shocking pain all over my body. I thrashed around and tried to escape it, but couldn't. More pee escaped my body and soaked into the diaper while it was happening. When it finally stopped I had tears in my eyes. "I'm not going to tolerate anymore complaining, Natalie. Good girls eat their baby food." Lisa said sternly. I was too scared to speak up again after that, so I shut my mouth and waited for the next person to get ready.
  15. Chapter 1 Beth was 18 when she had her first accident in 10 years. She had thought she had gotten rid of her bedwetting days. But on her 18th birthday, she woke up with wet pajamas. Beth couldn’t believe it. She rushed down the stairs and threw her laundry in the machine. She had tears in her eyes. “Oh sweetie…” Carol, Beth’s mom said as she found her 18 year old in tears. “What happened?” Beth sobbed as she hugged her mom. “It’s so embarrassing. I thought I was done.” “It’s okay, maybe it’s just a fluke,” Carol said trying to comfort her daughter. Except it wasn’t a fluke. Every week, Beth would wet the bed 3 or 4 time. Beth had been forced to wear pull ups in an attempt to hide her accidents. Finally after 2 years of work, Beth’s accidents seemed to go away. And Beth could safely return to sleeping without pull ups… for now… Chapter 2 Beth sat at the back of the class as her teacher droned on and on. She took her notes down and sighed. Beth squirmed in her seat. She had to pee but it wasn’t quite desperate and her professor never let students leave class early. It was his belief that all of his lectures were so important they couldn’t be missed for one second. Finally the class was dismissed, and Beth bolted out the class heading for the nearest bathroom. Unfortunately not exactly close. Beth turned into the Women’s room and squirmed as there was a small line. Beth debated whether she should wait in the line or to try and find the handicap bathroom. Beth waited and the line went down on quickly. She was the next person waiting for a stall to open. Finally one did a very pretty girl walked out of the stall. Beth blushed but dashed into the stall. She began undoing her pants. Beth felt her bladder let loose as she desperately hauled her pants down and plopped down on the toilet. “No…” Beth cried. “No no no…” She looked down to see that she had leaked a bit and the front of her jeans had a small wet spot. Beth blushed. “Is everything okay?” A sweet voice called out. “I… I’m fine,” Beth squeaked not wanting to admit what she just did. “Are you sure? The bathroom’s empty. It’s just us. Did something happen?” the girl asked. “Lady problems perhaps?” Beth didn’t speak. She felt her heart racing.
  16. Note: All characters are meant to be depicted as over 18. This story is fictional. It involves non-consensual diapering, blackmail, attempted sexual abuse, and spanking, so proceed cautiously. I wrote this somewhere around 1995, posting it in a chatroom board called alt.sex.fetish.diapers. Then I got busy with medical residency and raising a young family. In the decades since, there have apparently still persisted some abridged copies of it around the web. I guess posting it here is an attempt to preserve the original story. It has been revised now that spell-check exists, but the dark plot lives on, so ABs may want to look elsewhere. Back then, there were still paper medical charts and mercury thermometers, and “personal” grooming was uncommon (or at least not talked about). It was before chastity devices were widely available or affordable. It takes place just before the internet and cell phones revolutionized both communication and shopping for diapers. It was also before there were diaper companies that catered to the ABDL community. This story is about a company that would have been pioneers in the field, but not in a good way… Chapter 1 Doug Easton paused, as he often did, as he entered The Drugstore. Did he really want to do this? He was twenty-eight years old, and had a lot to lose if he was caught. After several years of working on Wall Street after college, he’d decided that he wanted to switch gears totally and get into a basic science graduate program, get his Ph.D. and teach or do research or something interesting and not so stressful. Doug had come to this mid-sized town on the eastern seaboard because it had such an excellent program. He’d taken the pre-reqs and gotten a job in the lab where he wanted to work as a grad student, as a way of networking his way into a position in the program. It was now October, and he’d worked for several months now. It looked very promising. He simply had to take the GRE’s on Saturday, a week from today, and do well enough not to embarrass himself, and the odds were that he would be accepted for the following year. He had a lot riding on getting in, since he’d sacrificed so much to get to this point. It would be horrible to screw it up now. But he’d shopped for diapers to satisfy his part-time fetish for so many years now, he knew he had little to fear. No one yet had bothered him or asked him to explain his purchases. He’d never run into anyone important. When he’d started buying disposable diapers in pharmacies several years ago, he’d always been sure to have a good story on hand in case the cashier got curious. He could never decide whether to use the one about having a sick grandparent or the riskier and more embarrassing one about having an intermittent medical problem. But he’d never had to use a story: no one had ever asked why he was buying the diapers. This always disappointed him in a way, as part of the fun of buying the diapers was the implied humiliating nature of the purchase. Later, as he got bolder, he would heighten his excitement by shopping for diapers or pads while wearing one, and he was careful to make it not so obvious that anyone would notice (he thought) but that if given a clue (e.g. shopping in the incontinence section) another shopper or a clerk might put the crinkly sound together with the bulge and the slight waddle. And still no one ever commented or even looked at him strangely, so he’d long since assumed that people were simply too self-absorbed and not observant enough. Some of the thrill of the purchase had departed for him; today he hadn’t even bothered with wearing a diaper. He put any nervousness he had aside and stepped further into the store. What he saw amazed him. The incontinence section was larger than any Doug had ever seen. Instead of being set off by itself in a little corner of the store, it was smack in the middle. As he cautiously approached it, he could see shelves of large, plump plastic bags awaiting him, and he felt that familiar excitement. The aisles were wide, and the intervening shelves fairly short, so as he entered the first aisle he was acutely aware of how visible he was. He was in plain view of the rest of the store, and felt a little more vulnerable than he liked. He looked around, though, and no one else seemed to be around, not even sales people. He wondered briefly how such a large store could stay in business. He should have given it more thought, as it turned out. He shook off his nerves, and went about his routine of cataloguing the store’s inventory in his head. In most stores this was easy-no more than two brands of diapers, and usually the same two everywhere. But here, the supply was vast, with many brands of which he had never even heard. He was disoriented, and, in the end, completely startled when his reverie was interrupted by a female voice behind him. “Can I help you?” He whirled around, and saw a lady in her late fifties with a kind-looking face and a helpful expression. “What?” he stammered. “I said, can I help you, young man?” she repeated. “Oh,” he said, too threatened to think clearly. “No. Thank you. I’m, uh, fine.” But she was persistent, to his surprise and dismay. “Is there anything I can help you find?” “No, no,” he said, trying to be nonchalant. “I’m just…looking around.” He only realized after he said it how ridiculous that sounded in an incontinence section. He blushed a bright red. But she smiled warmly, as if she’d heard this before. She stepped closer to him and lowered her voice, though the store was still empty. “Sir, there are only two reasons why anyone ever shops in this section. One, they are looking for a specific item, or two, they have a specific problem they need to solve… Okay? Now, you look a little embarrassed to be here and perhaps anxious to get out in a hurry. Am I right?” He nodded as if in a trance. This had never happened before, he was dazed, and he had no idea where this was all headed. She smiled in response and touched his arm. “All right, well, I can help you do either thing faster and more efficiently, so that you can leave sooner,” she said conspiratorially. “If you need to find a certain item, I can show you quickly where it is, so you can make your purchase and get out. Do you know exactly what you need?” He realized that she wanted the specific brand name of a product. He wasn’t sure, of course, what they had, or even what he wanted to walk out of here with. So he said, truthfully, “Not really.” She then smiled another smile, one that was intended to give him moral support for whatever problem she figured he’d just discovered he had. “In that case, I can be of even more help. I can show you what we have, tell you what the differences are, and we can decide together what product will best suit your needs.” She was walking toward a section labeled, “Adult Incontinence”. “Now, I don’t have to tell you how important a custom fit is when it comes to wetting: I know you want a product that will always keep you dry. I guess we both know that accidents are even more embarrassing than shopping for diapers. Am I right?” she asked, nodding sympathetically. He found himself nodding along with her, since that’s what she clearly wanted him to do, even as he wondered how she knew what accidents were like, and even though he had never had an “accident” that wasn’t on purpose. He was starting to feel many different and conflicting emotions: he was definitely curious how this encounter might turn out, but he was also petrified at the thought of admitting to anyone an interest in diapers. And under it all ran a strong current of sexual excitement and more than a little tinge of humiliation. But then, he reminded himself, that’s why he was here. He decided to go with the flow and see where the tide took him. It was a decision he would later regret. “So let me orient you to the different levels of protection we have. Then we can decide what level will be best for you and take it from there.” This idea produced some anxiety, but he had never acted on his fantasy like this, and all he could think about was how this would provide him excellent fantasy fodder for weeks to come. He tried to settle himself down and act calm. Turning, and indicating a smaller package, she said, “There are three levels, generally, of protection. Most people with your…problem…” and here he blushed again, “find that the first level, pads or guards like these, is all they need. It just tapes into your underpants, and you often can’t even notice it’s there.” He smiled to himself and wondered what good that would do him! “But it can protect you against the little accidents a lot of people have, but not if you wet heavily,” she explained. “Is this the sort of product you might need?” she asked, nodding again, and clearly expecting him to again nod back. And he was half tempted to say yes, because her references to his “little problem” were growing very embarrassing for him. But if he bailed out now, not only would he be wasting his money, but he wouldn’t be able to return in the future to this beautiful store for what he really wanted. This older lady was clearly the keeper of the diapers, and if he wanted to shop here, he’d obviously have to do it in her company. He looked away, frowned, and shook his head slightly in some shame. She was a little surprised, and was tempted to glance down at his shorts for evidence that he was wearing anything more substantial than pads. She knew what to look for, but hadn’t yet with him because she’d assumed, since he looked young and healthy, that his problem was minimal. And maybe it still was. So instead of examining him with her practiced eye, she just went on. This guy was very probably insecure, and didn’t need something bulkier. But perhaps by describing them to him, she could steer him away from wearing something that was too noticeable. “Well, of course. But the next level is a type of pull-up, like small children wear. Companies call them ‘underwear’ but they are really a type of pull-on diaper. These are usually not too bulky, and they’re quiet. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell you are wearing one. Mostly, I see elderly folks buying these, not young healthy men. “One of the downsides to using this type of product is that, if you are out and about and need a change because of an accident, you’d have to take off your shoes and pants to put a dry one on. But it can hold more than a pad.” She paused and looked at him, wanting him to get the point. “You see what I mean? It’s a big step up, and maybe more than you need. As I said, the vast majority of wetters just need a pad or guard. Want to try one of those?” He felt the weight of her pressure, but he was too close now. His mind whirled with what she might infer. “No, actually, could you go over the third level?” he nearly whispered to the floor. This time he saw her instinctively glance at his shorts, obviously looking for signs of a diaper under his clothes. But there was nothing. If he was incontinent enough to need a full diaper, why was he not wearing protection now? She allowed a concerned look to cross her face, and she wondered how this could be happening again, with another young man. Her tone now tinged with a little frustration, she said, “Well, the third level is the brief, or the adult diaper. And they are for invalids, mostly. They are taped on with refastenable tapes and worn just like a baby diaper.” As she said this, she realized how much she wanted this obviously functional man to buy something else. “They usually have a strip to tell people if you’re wet or dry, just like for babies, and the legs have elastic gathers to stop leaks. I’ll admit that they are the only product that offers total protection, either for heavy wetting or for bowel control problems. But as you can see, these ‘briefs’ are really reserved for someone who is completely diaper-dependent, and not for someone with...an apparently good quality of life.” She took a breath. She was wound up. She had to give this guy good advice. If he was a regular diaper-wearer, well, that would be different, but this healthy, currently-undiapered young man shouldn’t need big babyish protection. “You see, they are almost always visible under your clothing. Diaper-wearers are simply unable to conceal them well enough. Some people may deny it, but I’m here to tell you I can always spot 'em. Plus, you’d have to waddle a little with any of the diapers I’d sell you, and it is fairly obvious to a trained eye. And then there’s the give-away sound: nothing sounds like a diaper.” She paused again. Maybe she’d gone too far. Some people did need this protection, and it worked for them. But she did feel strongly about fitting the right product to the right customer. She composed herself, and went on, “So you see, you are looking for the least bulky product that will still do the job. Which will it be, so we can get you out of here?” He had endured the lesson with patience and a bit of excitement. Based on what this lady had said, maybe diapers WERE visible and audible to other people. Maybe he SHOULD have been more humiliated to wear them out. He’d have to think about that. But meanwhile, he had to end this. He glanced at her quickly and forced out the words he’d been destined to say. “I think I, uh, probably need to, um, get the briefs.” He stared very hard at the floor. She blinked. "Really? Are you sure? Most people either pick pads or guards. Briefs are the diapers, and you only wear them if you have bowel control problems or very bad bladder control problems. When he didn’t answer, she clarified, “I only ask because, if you really needed diapers, you wouldn’t just walk into a store without one on. I can see that you are not wearing a brief right now,” she explained with a pointed look toward his crotch that made him blush. He coughed. This was getting more and more embarrassing. “I really think I need the briefs.” There was a long pause as she tried to divine what was going through his mind. “Is this, um, problem a relatively recent one?” she asked. He nodded hesitantly. He didn’t know where she was leading, and was unsure of what his “story” should be. He was really in virgin territory at this point. It was pretty exciting. “So you haven’t tried a lot of these products, have you?” she said, thinking she was beginning to understand. He nodded again, deciding that could make sense. It would explain why he didn’t know what he wanted. “No, I thought not,” she said, smiling and with compassion. “A beginner. So let’s talk about your needs. Now,” she said, wanting to pin this boy’s problem down a little better, “what specific problem are we treating? Do you wet your pants?” Uh-oh, this was going to get detailed, he thought. Again he was torn: anxious about having a believable story, but enthralled with the idea of a stranger thinking he needed diapers. Unfortunately for Doug, there was no way he could know this was the last person he should try to convince. He just nodded, unable to meet her eyes. Okay, okay, she thought. Now they were getting somewhere. “Oh, that’s all right, sweetie. It’s common, and I sort of figured as much, for otherwise you wouldn’t be here. I can help you. When you have an accident, is it a lot of leakage, or just a little at a time?” Doug knew what the answer must be to get diapers. He swallowed. “A lot.” She nodded, taking it in. “And what about messy accidents? Do you have problems with your bowels?” The silence hung heavy as he considered. He wasn’t sure if he needed to confess to this, too, or not. Maybe the heavy wetting would be enough? But in the end, he didn’t want to take the chance. Holy cow, he thought, this was indeed humiliating. He dropped his eyes again and nodded. A grown man, admitting that he messed his pants. He felt all of two years old. And not surprisingly, there was a long silence afterward, as she tried to judge whether or not to believe him. That would certainly be serious if true. “Have you seen a doctor?” she asked with concern. “Yes,” he said, having to clear his throat first. He still couldn’t look at her. “He, um, said it would take a couple months until we, um, got it all worked out, so he sent me here.” “Oh,” she said, seeing this in a much different light. “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” This boy did need some serious protection. “Hmmmm. Are you wearing anything at all right now under your pants?” He froze, realizing that his not wearing a diaper out now seemed sort of stupid. But best be honest, he thought: I bet this lady could tell. “Nothing right now,” he said, trying to think quickly. “Well, I had some, but then I ran out.” She clucked at him reprovingly. This boy either wasn’t too bright or was irresponsible. That was a setup for a bad outcome. This lad needed her help. It seemed to her this was happening more and more to her. Since they had expanded their incontinence section, more and more younger men were wandering into her shop, and they seemed to need a strong hand. But that was fine: she knew how to take care of them, and if she couldn’t, she knew someone who certainly could. This boy clearly needed some direction. “Okay, well, we’ll get you all squared away, but first things first. With a problem like yours, we’ll need to get you into something right now so you don’t have an accident while we’re deciding, or on your ride home.” She paused to check his reaction. He looked a little uncomfortable with her apparently taking charge, but he didn’t say anything. And since this was really not the time to discuss who should make the decisions (she didn’t want to deal with an accident here), she went right on, in a maternal tone: “Someone who wets and messes his pants needs to wear a diaper all the time. All the time,” she repeated with emphasis. “Otherwise, you could have an accident right now, which would be more embarrassing and harder to clean up than a wet or messy diaper. So we need to put one on right now, without arguing. If you’re a good boy and put a diaper on, then we can talk afterward and decide what you’d like to wear in the future.” She watched him closely for signs of resistance. He was looking more uncomfortable, shifting his weight nervously, but he was not objecting. She went on. “Luckily, I always keep a couple samples in the back, for emergencies like this. You can use the storeroom to change.” Without waiting for a reply, she smiled, took his hand, and led him quickly to a door marked “Employees Only.” He looked a little alarmed but was still being compliant. In fact, though, Doug wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his composure. This was so much more than he’d ever actually dreamed could happen that he didn’t know what to feel. Excited, of course, but frightened. Would she diaper him? Was there anyone else in the back room? What was he getting himself into? No, he thought, that’s ridiculous. This is just an odd business transaction by a grandmotherly lady who is being misled. It’s funny and thrilling, but hardly dangerous. As he would later find, this was completely false. Some might argue that he could at this point still have escaped what was to happen to him, but this is probably not true. Nor is it even relevant. He had no inkling that with every complacent step he was getting closer and closer to the fearful prospect of having his lifelong fantasy become a lifelong reality. He needn’t have worried about one thing, though. She wasn’t planning on diapering him. As she walked him down a back hall to a doorway marked “CLEAN SUPPLIES,” she said, “Now do you put your own diapers on at home? You do? Okay, well, why don’t you try to put the brief on yourself, then, and see how you do.” She opened the door with one of many keys she had dangling from a large keychain, and led the way into the room. It was partially full with many crates and boxes such as you’d expect in a drugstore. She walked over to a shelf with several plastic packages on it and rummaged through them until she found one marked, “BRIEF, LARGE-ADULT DIAPERS,” from which she pulled a large plastic disposable. She also picked up a container of baby powder and brought both over to him. As he tentatively accepted them, she said, “Now I’ll just wait outside while you put it on. I don’t know what you do at home, but I recommend lots of powder. It’s hot out, and you’ll appreciate it later. When you’re done, just open the door, and I’ll come in and check to make sure it’s on correctly. That’s very important, you know. So come get me before you pull your pants up, okay?” She stepped out and closed the door before he could even respond, leaving him alone with a diaper and powder in hand. Once again he questioned himself about whether he wasn’t already in too deep. But it almost doesn’t matter, he thought to himself. She probably won’t even let me out of here now without a diaper. Holy shit! I’m way too good at lying for my own good. He sighed, and was about to unbuckle his pants when there was a sharp knock on the door followed by the lady poking her head in, and seeing him still dressed and holding the diaper, said, “Are you okay? Need help?” He shook his head firmly. She frowned slightly, and said, “Okay, but hurry it up. We can’t waste time with you not in diapers. I’ll check back in another minute or two, and if you’re not done, I’ll give you a hand.” She shut the door again. So now, of course, he hurried. He definitely wasn’t psychologically prepared today to be diapered by someone else. This as all too sudden. He unfolded the diaper and set it down on the cold cement floor. He hadn’t ever been able to put a diaper on standing up. So he unbuckled his pants and pulled them down around his ankles, and, glancing needlessly around, did the same to his underpants. He sprinkled the diaper with powder and then gingerly sat down on it. He pulled the diaper up between his legs, and quickly taped it rather haphazardly. It wasn’t a good job, but he wanted to be dressed again by the time the lady came back. He stood up and pulled up his underpants and pants over the diaper. The diaper fit well, and it was fairly bulky, though he’d made thicker ones for himself on occasion using pads for stuffers. As he was rebuckling his pants, she burst through the door unannounced. She appraised the new bulk between his legs, then strode over to him, saying, cheerfully, “Whoa! Slow down, cowboy! Let’s just check the job you did before you buckle up.” She reached toward his pants with purpose, brushing aside his hands, which had moved protectively toward his groin in a meek attempt to intercede. Before he knew it, his pants and underpants were back down around his ankles, and she was crouched in front of him examining his poor handiwork. He felt the blood drain from his head and began to feel dizzy. He felt like he should object, but he felt weak and sort of lost. He couldn’t think of anything to say in a moment like this. So he stood there as she inspected his diaper. “Hmmmm,” she commented. “At least it is on straight, and not backwards, but the taping leaves a bit to be desired. Hold this,” she said brusquely, as she undid the tapes on one side. She tightened and adjusted both sides, afterward slipping her fingers well inside the leg gathers on both sides to check the fit. He couldn’t help squirming a little, and had to be told to stand still. Finally she was satisfied, and showed him what she had done so he could do it better the next time. She was about to pull his pants back up for him when she saw his underpants, white briefs, around his ankles. She laughed. “Well, you hardly need those on now, do you? Let’s get those off so they don’t get all stretched out over the diaper, okay?” And without waiting for a response, she untied his shoes, had him slip them off, and pulled the pants and underpants off, then replaced the pants and shoes, even tying them for him. This made him feel more like a little boy than he had in a long time. “You said your wetting and soiling problem is only temporary, right? Well, then, we’ll let you have these back for several months down the line.” Humiliated as he’d never been before, he took his underpants from her and balled them up in his hand. His shorts pockets were now too tight for him to tuck them in there. He’d have to carry them home in his hand. Could this get more embarrassing? She didn’t notice his distress, however, for she was nearly out the storeroom door. “Come on,” she called. “Time to get you something for later.” He tried to follow at her speed, but found that this was a fairly thick diaper. The bulk made him waddle slightly, but he didn’t think it was that noticeable. When she got to the door back to the main store, though, she turned and watched him as she waited. He was pretty cute, she thought. Actually, she thought they were all cute the way they had to waddle like babies. And to be honest, she had to admit that part of her liked babying them: she loved the diapers, the powder and lotions, the smells, the mothering. Of course, that was not why she did it, and it was not why she’d set up the ICPs with Mrs. Warren. But it was part of what made it enjoyable for her. Anyway, she knew he’d be self-conscious, so she tried not to smile at his obvious struggle to walk normally. He reached her in a moment, and as they returned to the store, he glanced around nervously to see if anyone was there to notice the newly-diapered boy waddle in with his old underpants in hand. There was only an older man clear at the other end of the store; he probably couldn’t see this far. But then he noticed a tall brunette in the corner back and to the right, near the pharmacy. She looked like she was in her forties, was beautiful, but also strongly built. And she appeared to be watching him very closely. He thought he saw the older lady he was with catching the tall lady’s eye for a moment, and maybe even nod at her. But he wasn’t sure if he made that up. He sure could be self-conscious when he wore a diaper! He took one last look at the lady before he turned down the diaper aisle, and noticed a curl of a smile at one end of her mouth, as if she were amused. Could she tell he was wearing a diaper? Kind of a thrilling thought. She was pretty. But his attention was quickly drawn to the shelf his guide was presenting to him. This was where he had longed to be from the moment he had walked in the store. He longed to be left alone here to read the packages and look at pictures. But she was here, and very much in control of his shopping. “Okay, this shouldn’t be hard,” she said. “The most important thing is, is cost very important to you?” He nodded with conviction. He was a student, living on a student’s budget. She nodded back thoughtfully. “Well, then I think we’ll try you with a package of those generics you’re wearing. I thought the fit was good. Are they comfortable?” He nodded stiffly. He wasn’t used to discussing his diaper comfort with others. “Good. They are good diapers, just as good as the name brands, in my opinion. Try those, and see how they do for you.” She picked out a huge package of the generics-again he noticed the label, “BRIEF, LARGE-ADULT DIAPERS” in large block lettering on the side. That would be fun to carry to his car and inside his apartment. He took it from her, and followed her up to the cash register at the front of the store. He set the package on the counter as she rang it up, setting his underpants next to it on the counter for a moment, while he pulled out his wallet, careful to hunt for and pay with cash so that he wouldn’t leave a paper trail. She watched him find the correct change from the little change compartment in his wallet. He gave her the money, and she handed him a receipt. Then she leaned over the counter and said to him in that condescending tone again, “I think this will get easier for you with time. Now, I think these diapers will help you with your problem, but you’ve got to wear them all the time for them to help. You hear me?” She looked at him sternly. “All the time. See how you like them, and when you only have a few left-BEFORE you run out, come back in and we’ll get you some more.” He nodded obediently. Just needed to get out of here now. “Yes, ma’am, I will.” She was staring at him intently now. “But don’t come back in here without a diaper on, or I’ll do more to your bottom in that back storeroom than just put it in a diaper. Okay?” He nodded to her, his eyes widening. Was she...threatening to spank him? He’d had way too much “fun” for one day. Time to agree and get home. “Okay. Thank you. Have a good day.” He grabbed his hard-won purchase and underpants and left the store, only noticing once he was outside that she hadn’t even offered him a bag. As he walked away, he let out a deep breath. That had to have been the most amazing fantasy ever. And he’d navigated his way through it perfectly, coming away unscathed, with a bag of diapers to boot! Pretty good, he thought, for his first time to that store. For his ONLY time, he thought to himself. He’d not go there again. It was just too anxiety-provoking. But he’d done it today, and now he was safe. He did feel sorry for the lady whom he had deceived so perfectly, however. But only briefly. As she watched him waddle away from her, out to his car and climb in, Mrs. Sheffield reflected on the odd number of totally incontinent young men she had as clients. She’d noticed a preponderance of men as soon as Mrs. Warren had convinced her to stock more of the briefs, and it seemed that, as they continued to expand their product offerings, more and more came in. Most were fairly resistant to her intrusion, but she didn’t care. She was actually a very nice, compassionate older lady who always felt sorry, first and foremost, for her clients. But her experiences with a “late-blooming” son years before had convinced her that incontinence was a problem that needed to be treated. Her son had had several fairly public accidents in elementary school that had led to other kids making fun of him. She hadn’t wanted to diaper him, thinking that would make things worse, but as he grew and the teasing continued well past the time when he never wet his pants anymore, she began to blame herself for his being socially ostracized. She’d vowed to herself, though she hadn’t seen the implications for her drugstore business at the time, that if she ever found an opportunity to step in and help an incontinent person again, she would. At any age, she thought, diapering was far more benign than even occasional accidents, and she had seen the damage firsthand and had to live with the guilt. These days, she made sure that no incontinent boy left her sight without a diaper on, even if they objected. “They just don’t know,” she whispered to herself, “what the alternative is. Owning up to their need for diapers is the best thing they could do for themselves.” It was this attitude that made Mrs. Sheffield run her business the way she did. And it was this attitude, she couldn’t know, which had doomed many young men to lives of unhappiness and even far worse social isolation than she could have anticipated. But, then, at least her intentions were good. It was actually Mrs. Warren who was much more to blame. She looked down at the name and address she had copied down quickly as this latest boy had opened his wallet to pay her for what he thought was the last purchase he would make from her. He was wrong, of course, though he wouldn’t know this for several days. Doug. Doug Easton. He’d seemed nice. She wrote a note for herself to make sure she followed up on him. Nice boy, but he needed her. Chapter 2 On Monday, about two days and four diapers later, Doug was watching TV before bed, undiapered. He’d just finished a day of reviewing for his test on Saturday. He was bright, and the studying wasn’t too hard, so it actually left him with a lot of free time compared to his usual lab schedule. This was why he’d gone out for a new supply of diapers for this week: he had plenty of time to play. And though he didn’t like to wear diapers constantly, he was enjoying wearing one or two a day. His stressful trip to that drugstore had turned out to be worth it, he thought now. He’d just put his books away for the rest of the evening when his phone rang. He answered it. “Is this Doug?” The woman’s voice was vaguely familiar, but Doug couldn’t place it. The other day’s incident at the drugstore was the last thing on his mind. “This is Mrs. Sheffield, from the drugstore? I helped you with your incontinence products several days ago, remember?” He nearly dropped the phone. His mind went blank and his fingers started tingling. Even though he was seated, he felt faint. “Uh, yes, ma’am, I remember.” His mind slowly started to crank out questions: how had she found him? Why could she be calling? “Well, it’s nice to talk to you again. I’m calling to find out how your briefs have been doing since Monday.” His mouth was dry, which made it difficult to speak. “Oh,” he croaked. “Just fine.” He was speaking on autopilot now, trying to figure out how he’d been so foolish as to leave his phone number with her. But he hadn’t! He was sure. How had she tracked him down? Mrs. Sheffield could hear the anxiety in his voice, and knew she’d have to calm him down if her approach was to work. “I hope you don’t mind me calling. Ordinarily I ask before I contact clients at home, but I forgot this time. All I want to do, though, is a little product survey, if you don’t mind. Your opinions regarding our products are very important to us, and will be used to modify our product lines and what we carry. So, I’m sorry for the intrusion but I just have a couple of questions, and the answers from you, in particular, will be very valuable.” A product survey? he thought. That sounded interesting, and didn’t seem very threatening. He relaxed, and as he did, he began touching his stiffening penis through his pajamas. This could be fun. After all, he was tucked away safely in the privacy of his own home, far away from this scary lady. And this conversation again had tremendous fantasy potential for him. In addition, maybe he really could influence what diapers were made or carried. That alone was worth a little effort. But why him? This bothered him, so he asked. “Well, actually,” she replied, “you are important because of the nature of the problem you have. You see, we don’t have too many totally incontinent clients out there who can talk and who are active.” She was not exactly being truthful, she knew, but it was excusable because she was trying to help him. She went on describing why surveys were important. He was only half listening by the end. He was too fascinated by the opportunity he had been given. He’d always felt that store-brand adult diapers were woefully inadequate in many ways that were important to a diaper lover: not bulky enough, not noisy enough, not absorbent enough, and pathetic at containing bowel movements. He knew that the majority of truly incontinent adult probably didn’t want or need these obtrusive, humiliating qualities in their diapers, but wouldn’t it be great if there was at least ONE brand that was closer to the ideal? This might be the one chance he had to help all of adult babyhood attain what most thought was unattainable. He had to give a plug for a humiliating, babyish diaper. But he couldn’t make it sound too ludicrous. His mind was working overtime trying to anticipate questions and phrase his answers with subtlety and skill. She was just finishing some comment: “So, do you think you could just answer a few questions for me?” “Of course I could,” he answered confidently, but not wanting to sound too eager. “I’d be glad to help if I can.” She heard the change in his voice and wondered briefly what it meant. She was mostly happy he was going to cooperate. She was sorry she had to mislead him here, but, after all, it was for his benefit, and they would indeed use the information he gave her! “Oh, that’s wonderful,” she said out loud. “Could you start by telling me how many diapers you use in a day?” Time to check compliance. Fine, he thought, a usage question. He expected that. But he had to guess, since he was certainly not a full-time user! He didn’t want to be; part-time fantasy was enough. “About six, I’d say.” These were generic store-brand diapers; they didn’t take more than two wettings. That sounded right, but any idiot could guess. She’d slip in a couple more compliance questions later. “Okay, and of those, how many are messy and not just wet?” That was probably easy to estimate. “Well, one or two, I suppose.” Still okay, but these were the easy questions. “Uh-huh, fine. Now, I’ve seen how these diapers fit: pretty well, I think, but how do they feel? Are they comfortable? Scratchy? Sticky even when fresh? Do they chaff?” He actually hadn’t had a complaint over the perhaps six hours he’d worn them over two days. “Oh, they’re very comfortable. No problems.” “That’s good to hear. Do you have anyone at home to help change you?” That would be great! he thought wistfully, though only halfheartedly. He didn’t really think he wanted diapers to become that central to his life. “No, I live alone,” he said out loud. Good, Mrs. Sheffield thought. That simplifies things considerably. “Okay, well, let’s talk about wetness. How absorbent do they seem? Do you have problems with leaking with very wet diapers?” She didn’t even notice she was using the “d” word. He didn’t either. He was too involved in the “survey.” "Oh, yes, all the time, " he replied honestly. “I have trouble with that with nearly every diaper. That’s a serious problem for me.” He was finding it difficult not to rub his hard penis. This was really turning him on. He had to keep it going. “Oh, dear,” she said. “That’s a shame. Of course, it probably comes from all your activity, compared to my older clients. How long after you wet do you change yourself into a dry diaper?” OK, now try to make this believable. “Well, I don’t like changing, and it’s often very inconvenient, so I try to make each diaper last as long as possible. So I guess I wait at least two hours after wetting before a change.” “Oh, my,” she exclaimed. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?” “No, not at all,” he said, trying to sound reasonable. “Until they’re VERY wet, I can’t tell they’re damp without looking. By the time I can feel it, I’ve usually leaked.” “Well, I’m not sure any other store brand would have more capacity…” she mused to herself. “Usually it’s adequate, but you are more active. The best option for you may be to add one or more pads inside the diaper, but we don’t like to do that because that makes the diaper even more bulky and noticeable than it already is.” Whoa! he thought. This was his big chance. He snorted derisively. “I’d rather have bulky than leaky.” “Really? But you don’t think they are already too bulky between your legs?” “No, not really,” he said, hoping she believed him. “I mean, I hardly even know they’re there. I don’t have to walk funny like you said. I’m sure I wouldn’t even notice another pad, or even two. But the best would obviously be a thicker diaper I don’t have to change very often.” He was lying now, and thoroughly enjoying it. This could be the perfect infantilist diaper! “Do you worry about other people noticing?” “Not really. I wear baggy clothes, and I don’t think anyone at all has noticed. I don’t see why they should.” This was excellent news for Mrs. Sheffield. Most potential clients were indeed worried about making sure their diapers were unobtrusive. He didn’t care. This should make his assimilation into the program easier. Doug noticed her pause and assumed she was having a little trouble believing that he wanted MORE bulk. He said a silent apology to all diaper-wearers who DIDN’T want people to notice, but he really hoped his cry for thicker, more babyish diapers was getting through. As if in answer, he heard her say, “OK, more bulky and absorbent so you don’t have to change as often and won’t leak. Now, are the diapers too noisy for you, or are they okay? Are you worried that people notice?” “Nah, they’re fine,” he answered gleefully. She was buying the whole thing. For a moment, though, a frightening thought flew through his mind. How truly terrifying and humiliating it would be to be stuck in diapers like the ones he was imagining. What if he were doomed to this fantasy he had always played out in his head and was now having fun pretending was real? To be locked, for instance, in huge, noisy, bulky diapers in public, to be noticed by everyone: it would suck to HAVE to wear what he was telling her he thought diapers should be. But that was what fantasy was all about, he told himself. Reality wasn’t relevant, he thought. “Well, that’s very enlightening,” Mrs. Sheffield was saying. “Most people are actually asking for less obtrusive, quieter diapers, but perhaps we should rethink creating a different line of products. if you don’t mind, let’s move on to messy diapers. Have you had any problems with leakage from messy diapers?” “I’ll say. Even worse than with the wet ones,” he said, fully within his fantasy and not feeling any embarrassment. “And, obviously, that’s a worse problem.” “Obviously,” she agreed. “And do you always wear messy diapers for two hours before changing?” “Not usually,” he answered, “but sometimes I can’t help it. Messy diapers are much more difficult to change, especially in public. I have to wait until I get home, and sometimes that takes a while.” “I see. So once again, your lifestyle conflicts with your diaper needs. Now, you do seem to be out and around a lot. Is this true? Are you out of your home most days?” “Well, usually, though this week I’m actually spending at home studying all day…” he started before he realized he’d crossed over into reality. He didn’t really want her to know anything about him. Was she probing? “So you ARE very active,” she said, and he relaxed. It had just been an innocent question, he thought incorrectly. “Well, the only suggestion I have is to wear some sort of incontinent plastic training panty over your diaper. Do you have any of those?” Surprised, he answered honestly. “Yes, two or three.” And then he remembered he was supposed to be new to this “incontinence.” How could he explain why he had plastic panties? “The, uh, doctor gave them to me to try, but I thought they were just for cloth diapers.” “In general they are, but in your case, it sounds like you could use the extra protection.” “Sounds like a good idea,” he said, not really caring. It didn’t matter what he did or didn’t promise to do. She asked several more questions he found less interesting, regarding tapes and other mundane aspects of the diapers. Finally, she asked him about the wetness indicator, another of her compliance questions. He said he liked it and that he used it often, since he wasn’t always aware of when he peed. “Hmmm,” she said. “We’re doing some research on how many little stripes an indicator should have. I’ve forgotten: how many stripes does your diaper’s indicator have? Could you look down at your diaper and tell me?” He felt a brief moment of panic. He, of course, was not wearing a diaper, and he couldn’t really remember. But he relaxed as he realized that if she’d forgotten, it didn’t matter what he said, as long as it was reasonable. “Um, it looks like one,” he said, guessing that was most common. “One? Okay, that’s exactly what I thought,” Mrs. Sheffield said with a definite air of satisfaction. Doug was happy he’d guessed right. In fact, he’d guessed wrong, and this mistake was the one Mrs. Sheffield had been looking for. It told her Doug wasn’t really wearing his diapers like he should and was therefore a definite compliance risk. That sealed it. She would definitely put him in the program. He clearly needed the little push that Mrs. Sheffield’s friend Mrs. Warren could give. Otherwise he risked having accidents. “Okay, Doug, just a few more questions. You’ve been extremely helpful. I think I know about all I need to know. But tell me, is cost an issue for you? Do you think the disposables on the market are too expensive?” What a great question. Did he EVER. He had trouble buying diapers even occasionally, and he shuddered to think what it must cost to keep someone in them full-time. On the other hand, he wasn’t really as turned on by the cloth diapers, so for him it was worth it. To her, he said, “Yes, ma’am, especially on a student’s budget.” Whoops. Another slight slip, mentioning something personal. But again, she seemed not to notice or care. “That’s what I thought. What if I offered you products that would cost a lot less? I’ve calculated your approximate cost as about $250 per month right now. What if I could offer you the same diapers for about $80 per month? Would you be interested?” That was great! He was excited, for his comments really seemed to be getting somewhere! He was striking a blow for infantilists everywhere! “Wow! Of course! That would be a lot better. But can you do that?” “Well, this is just hypothetical, of course, but, yes. Now, how many briefs do you have left?” He paused. How many SHOULD he have left? Quick arithmetic gave him his answer. “About five, I think.” “Uh-huh. So when can I expect you into the store to restock?” Whoa. Here’s where he got off the fantasy train. He couldn’t make a commitment, he knew, or this could escalate to something he couldn’t afford or keep up with. “Well, I don’t know…” “Sounds like you’d better get in here tomorrow, or you’ll be right where you were before, trying to get by with just your underpants and a prayer. Right?” “Well, uh, yes, but…” He tried to think of how to get out of this easily. She was making it tough. Mrs. Sheffield decided it was time to come clean and close the deal. She knew what she needed to know. “Doug, you had no plans to come in, did you?” “…Not really, no.” It felt better to tell the truth. And she seemed like that might be okay with her. “And you’re not wearing a diaper now, are you?” Yikes! She was sharper than he’d given her credit for. “Well, I, um…” He was shocked, but he didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t wearing a diaper now. She might not use his survey information. He didn’t know it, but he had a more important issue he should have been worrying about. “That’s what I thought. By the way, when you do look at your diaper, you’ll notice two indicator stripes.” She took a deep breath. “Now, you need to listen to me. I may have told you that I was in the business of assessing and providing for my clients needs. Well, it goes a little bit beyond just helping them find a product on the shelf.” Doug didn’t like the sound of this at all. She was no longer surveying. And she didn’t know it was only a fantasy for him. “What I actually do is run a business for people like you who are incontinent. I help them find what they need, and make sure they use it, by organizing ICP’s, which stands for Incontinence Control Programs, for them. I have a lot of clients like you who don’t seem to be able to look after themselves like they should. I worry that they’ll end up having accidents, and then lots of things in your life can go wrong.” Doug’s stomach had started churning. He had started to realize that perhaps he’d sold his story too well. “I’ve decided that you need some help with your diapers. I think we’ll need to enroll you into our program so that you can get the help you need. I work with another woman, Mrs. Warren, who actually runs the day-to-day end of things, and we’ll help keep you supplied, keep you wearing the diapers, and keep you well-behaved. And it’s all for that price I was telling you about. What do you think?” Doug knew what he thought. He thought he’d better do some confessing, or he’d find himself in far deeper than he’d thought possible. He didn’t know that it was already way too late. His silence didn’t really slow her down. "Now, I know you weren’t expecting this, and I’m sorry to spring it on you, but in the end you’ll thank me, you really will. Let me explain for you why I think you need our help. "There are four parts to any successful ICP. First, affordable cost. Second, choosing the appropriate product for your personal wetting and soiling needs. Third, accessibility: you need to be getting your diapers. Fourth, compliance. All the diapers in the world won’t keep your pants clean and dry if you’re not wearing them. "You may not have noticed, but we just completed an assessment of the ICP you had prescribed for yourself. That is, your plan of buying the diapers yourself any old time and bringing them home and wearing them occasionally. “What I found out during my assessment is that this isn’t working, regarding each of the four parts. Too expensive, too leaky, you won’t come in to buy them, and once you do, you’re just not wearing them like a good boy.” He tried to say something, but she wasn’t really slowing down. She didn’t seem to care what he had to say. This was getting absurd. “Doug, you need to face the fact that you are totally incontinent. Probably, well, hopefully, temporarily. But you desperately need a much better and structured ICP for the foreseeable future, and so the bottom line is that I’ll be supplying it for you. Believe me, this is a very good thing for you. You’ll eventually appreciate the complete protection we can offer, and we’ll also lay the groundwork for your eventual attempt at re-potty-training, if that becomes a possibility.” Doug sat listening in shock. He didn’t know what to think or feel. A tiny bit of him was intrigued and turned on by what sounded like a forced return to babyhood, or at least to diapers. But most of him was horrified at the thought of his fantasy getting out of control and effectively running the rest of his life. It didn’t sound like he’d be in control, and he knew himself: he ALWAYS had to be in control. He couldn’t even begin to process her words, for they seemed impossible, foreign, crazy. But she went on. “So after considering your needs and problems with compliance, I’ve decided to enroll you in a special diaper delivery program we offer, where I can decide the best ICP for you, and all you have to do is follow some very simple rules. You’ll pay twenty dollars each week for us to deliver a week’s worth of diapers to you, as well as the extra pads we talked about, and you’ll wear them and use them. “Mrs. Warren will check on you and make sure you are following the rules and using your diapers appropriately, and she has some very helpful disciplinary tricks to help you be obedient, which I’m sure you’ll appreciate. Then you’ll return the used diapers at the end of the week for us to count and examine, so we know you used them all week. So you see, this program is much better with regard to cost, availability, leak protection, and especially behavior control. Doesn’t it sound wonderful?” Doug felt speechless, but knew he had to speak. “Mrs., uh, Sheffield? I really appreciate your concern, but, um, well, I don’t actually think I need your help here…” Mrs. Sheffield responded with a slightly condescending tone. “Oh, but we just talked about that and decided you did. Remember?” He remembered HER talking and deciding, but he’d been left out. “Yes, but I think there has been a terrible mistake here. You see…” She interrupted again. “Don’t you worry. There’s no mistake. I’m going to help you, and you will never have to wet your pants again. Doesn’t that sound nice?” “No. I mean, yes. I mean, I don’t want your help here because…” “Doug,” Mrs. Sheffield said earnestly, "I’m sure you’re used to handling your problem on your own, but the fact is, you’re just not doing a very good job. I’m afraid you misunderstand what’s going on here. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m really not asking you whether you’d like to participate. I’m TELLING you about the ICP that you will begin tomorrow. I’m sorry we couldn’t ask for your opinion, but by not wearing your diaper you showed me that you are not reliable enough to make these decisions for yourself. “And you’ll have to trust me here that this is not a bad thing. When you’re incontinent, there are only two things that could happen. You can either have accidents with wetting and soiling your pants, which is horrible. Or you can wear your diaper. And in this program, believe me, you will wear your diaper. Now, do you have any specific questions about your ICP that I can answer for you?” Doug was starting to panic, because she wasn’t listening to him. She was treating him like a child, which hadn’t happened to him for nearly twenty years. It was frustrating not to have control! But he had to stop this now. As embarrassing as it was, he couldn’t think of anything else but to tell her the truth. “Mrs. Sheffield, there really has been a mistake. You see, I’m actually not…” Her voice turned cold. “No, Doug, we’re not going to argue about this. This isn’t the time for that. I was asking you if you had any questions about your ICP.” “Yes, but I need to tell you that I don’t need…” “Okay, that’s enough,” said Mrs. Sheffield sternly. "If you don’t have any questions, I’ll just tell you what’s going to happen next. “Mrs. Warren will be taking over your care from now on, and she told me to tell you that she’ll be over tomorrow at about ten in the morning with your first week of diapers and other supplies. At that time she’ll explain all of the rules she has, and what you are to do, and she’ll get you into a diaper for good. “Now, you told me you’ll be home tomorrow, and that you don’t have any roommates, so I don’t expect any trouble from you about this. Ten in the morning. If you want to argue, argue with Mrs. Warren. She loves to `discuss’ things with clients, and I’m sure she’d be happy to talk with you about whether you need our diapers. So if you want to talk, save it until tomorrow. Does that sound alright?” Doug felt defeated with this woman. She wouldn’t even give him the time of day. Before, he’d been embarrassed when she’d asked him so many questions. Now she wouldn’t listen! But perhaps this other lady would. He had to have better luck with someone else. At least he’d have time to think about how he’d explain himself. “Okay,” he said. “But I’ll just tell you, I’m not doing this program thing.” “I’ll leave that for you and Mrs. Warren to work out. It’s been nice talking to you, Doug, and I’m happy to have you in our program, even though it may take a while for you to adjust to it. Oh, by the way, make sure you behave yourself with Mrs. Warren tomorrow. Of course, she’s very nice, but she doesn’t tolerate little boys who aren’t polite. Will you promise me to be polite?” What else was there to say? “Yes, ma’am.” “That’s a good boy. And promise me you’ll wear your diaper tonight?” Like hell. “Yes, ma’am.” “Okay, good. Take care until tomorrow, Doug, and please, for the sake of yourself and your underpants, wear your diaper.” As she hung up the phone, Mrs. Sheffield smiled. That had been done skillfully. She worried about cooperation with many of these boys, and so she’d adopted a strategy of getting as much info about them and their habits before breaking the news to them. None of them saw it coming, of course, and while she felt guilty deceiving them, she felt proud to offer them the protection her son never had. If she hadn’t been a very good mother to him, at least these incontinent boys would benefit from her learning. She did feel bad about one thing, though, and that was deferring Doug’s questions to Mrs. Warren, who wasn’t exactly the chatty type. She had an uneasy feeling that she was quite rough with these boys, especially the resistant or noncompliant ones. But the two women had an unspoken rule that Mrs. Warren’s methods were not talked about between them. Mrs. Sheffield thought maybe Mrs. Warren spanked them, but wasn’t sure. Mrs. Sheffield didn’t oppose spanking in principle, but she worried that her partner might go a little overboard. She had to keep reminding herself that keeping these boys in the program and in diapers as long as they were incontinent was the most important goal. And since Mrs. Warren had been running the ICPs, Mrs. Sheffield had not heard of a single problem, either from the boys or from Mrs. Warren. All of them clearly wore their diapers. So, as much as she might have worried, and probably should have worried, Mrs. Sheffield let the methods of Mrs. Warren remain a secret. As she added Doug’s name to the next day’s diaper delivery list, a curious observation popped into her mind. Like Doug, many of these boys described a “temporary” incontinence problem. She put most of them in their ICPs just to tide them over until they regained their control. Oddly, though, in the three years since she had hired Mrs. Warren to run her business, not a single one of these temporary incontinents had graduated from their program. “Oh, I know,” she lied to herself. “I bet they’re just not honest with themselves at the beginning. I’m sure they all would like to believe it’s temporary, but it makes sense that bladder and bowel incontinence doesn’t just go away. Those poor boys, denying their problem. Well, as long as they’re protected.” The boys, of course, were not the only ones practicing denial; Mrs. Sheffield had apparently learned how to convince herself there was nothing odd about the program she officially ran but knew nothing about. Mrs. Sheffield attended to the next order of business by picking up a phone and dialing the number of Mrs. Warren’s cellular phone. She wanted to make up for the fact that she’d set Doug up to take the full brunt of Mrs. Warren’s wrath tomorrow. He’d be full of excuses that she wouldn’t want to hear, and though she had thought at first that a little run-in with Mrs. Warren tomorrow might not hurt this boy a bit, the more she thought about it, the more she realized it would almost certainly hurt. Quite a bit, in a tender, likely undiapered spot. So a little intercession on her part was appropriate. She smiled when she heard Mrs. Warren answer immediately. Tomorrow would be an eventful day for Doug. Chapter 3 Doug hung up the phone slowly and just stared out into space, trying to process what had just happened. He had just been deceived and manipulated into a position from which he was now dangerously close to being out of control. In fifteen minutes he had gone from being safe and happy and insulated from this frightening woman to being fooled, humiliated, and violated by her. And supposedly thrown into some program for delinquent diaper-wearers, where he obviously did not belong. Imagine! He had misled this lady so effectively that she thought he really needed diapers! It would be laughable if it weren’t so annoying and if it didn’t seem to threaten his desire for privacy. He couldn’t even enjoy the fantasies generated by the phone call, because now he needed to think about how to get himself out of this without anyone finding out about this, and if possible, without any more embarrassment. Doug was pretty sure this adventure would end tomorrow, when he explained the reality of the situation to this Mrs. Warren. But he was most concerned about how he could end this without admitting he was just a diaper lover, which he knew was viewed by most people as perverted. If word of his kink spread, his application for the graduate program could be in jeopardy and his job at the lab ended. How could he end this discreetly? He’d have to be prepared, more prepared and alert than he’d just been during that conversation with Mrs. Sheffield. What an idiot he’d been. She’d played him masterfully, and he’d fed right into her little quizzes. Curious, he went to his stash of diapers and checked them. Sure enough, the ones he’d just bought had two stripes. Stupid. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. And, he chuckled, he nearly had walked straight into the nightmare he’d imagined of having given the description of the perfect adult baby diaper only to be sentenced to wear it constantly. That would really be miserable. But he would avoid that. No one would be sentencing him to anything. He was an adult, and he controlled his life. The anxiety he had about tomorrow morning didn’t stop him from getting that same thrill he always felt when he touched the plastic of a disposable diaper, but he packed it away in his bedroom closet as a symbolic gesture of his continued autonomy. She’d pushed him around pretty well over the phone, hadn’t she? Wait until that other lady got here tomorrow. She’d meet the real Doug. He tried to have a normal evening, but his anxiety continued, so he had a couple beers to calm himself down. He’d meant to figure out what he would say tomorrow to that diaper lady, but after the beer, he decided he could figure it out later… Doug awoke the next morning fully clothed on the sofa, and was disoriented by the sunlight streaming in the window and what sounded like loud banging on his front door. He next noticed a strong message from his bladder, distended from the beer from last night. As he struggled to his feet and stumbled to the bathroom, he tried to reconstruct what had happened to him. He was midway through relieving himself before he realized that he must have fallen asleep on the sofa and overslept. So who could be so rude as to be pounding on the door? “Oh my god!” he said out loud as he suddenly remembered Mrs. Warren. He jerked his hand up to look at his watch and only succeeded in peeing all over the bathroom floor, not to mention leaving a small spot on his jeans. But big deal: he finally got a good look at the time, and, sure enough, it was after 10am. He was now wide awake, and working hard to figure out what to say to this woman. He zipped and buckled his (now slightly wet) pants and went to the front window. He couldn’t see the door, or who was there, but he did catch a glimpse of a large van, colored in pastel pinks and blues, with the words “HOME DIAPER DELIVERY--Get 'em, Wet 'em, and Forget 'em.” He would have been embarrassed at his neighbors seeing this van, but he had more urgent concerns. He could always claim it had had the wrong address or something. But there could be no doubt who was banging on his front door. He briefly entertained the idea of not answering the door at all, but the banging was so insistent, he decided he had to confront this threat and get rid of it. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He was suddenly and rudely pushed aside, and a large woman strode past him toward his living room area. He was sort of surprised by her assertiveness, and it took him a minute to recover, close the door, and follow her in. Entering the living room, he saw that she had her back turned to him, apparently already talking on the phone! But even from the back, he recognized her from the drugstore; she was the strong-looking beautiful brunette who had watched him with such interest as he had waddled self-consciously out of the dressing room in the back of the store. Somehow he had known that it would be her. He wanted to apologize to her for keeping her waiting at the door, to show her how reasonable and sensible he really was, but here she was, already on the phone. She was obviously kind of rude, but he didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot, so he just stood there awkwardly and listened in to find out what was so urgent. What he heard surprised and worried him a little. “Yes, Mary, I KNOW I promised not to spank him today, but he’s practically been begging for it for the past twelve minutes.” Doug glanced at his watch. It was 10:12 now. Could they be talking about him?! “Well, no, obviously not. But let me tell you what he did. Deliberately kept me waiting outside for twelve minutes…Of course he was home…I’m SURE it was on purpose…Well, Mary, I just don’t put UP with that kind of behavior…I KNOW what he needs, and I can give it to him with an open palm…Yes…Yes, I know…Yeah, okay. Alright. But he just exhausted his grace period. No more warnings or excuses. Next time he so much as looks at me wrong, he goes over my knee. You know how I feel about disrespect…Okay, Mary…Okay. Bye.” Doug was now very anxious, as he watched her set the phone down. His face was burning with embarrassment, for he knew that as absurd as it sounded these women were discussing HIM. Whether HE, essentially a grown man, should get a spanking. He would have thought it comical if this lady hadn’t seemed so serious and capable. He wasn’t small, but because of her size, he’d have a hard time resisting her physically. He watched her now as she seemed to think for several seconds and then turned abruptly and brushed past him back toward the door without even acknowledging his presence. He stood there, uncertain how to handle this strange encounter with this lady. She helped him. As she reached the door, she turned and for the first time, spoke to him. “The very least you could do would be to help me carry in your diapers. Come on!” And she disappeared outside, leaving the door wide open. It was another second before he realized that he’d better start explaining fast, or within about two minutes she’d probably expect him to be wearing one of the infantile gifts she’d brought. He rushed out the door and out to the pink and blue diaper van. She was around back, opening the rear doors. As he reached her she was examining a clipboard and appearing to compare it to contents in the back of the truck. He looked inside and got distracted by her cargo. Her van was literally crammed full of packages of disposable and cloth diapers. In addition there were smaller packages of plastic and other (rubber?) panties, bottles of powder, oil, vaseline, lotion, and lots of other nondescript items he thought must be pads and soakers. There were also many items he could not identify: jugs of liquid, assorted clothing. Half of him wanted to go through it all and see what he liked, but the rational half of him realized he’d find out all too soon if he didn’t start talking now. “Um, Mrs. Warren?” he started hesitantly. When she didn’t answer or even look up, he just went on. “We REALLY need to talk.” She half snorted derisively in response but didn’t otherwise say anything. He realized he’d better just spit out the essentials. “There has been a huge, embarrassing mistake. You see, in real life, I don’t NEED to wear diapers at all. I’m totally continent. This is all a big mixup because, um, well…” He stalled out, summoning the courage to tell someone the truth for the first time ever. “I, um, sometimes like to, you know, wear diapers, just as a kind of fantasy. But it’s just a funny little thing, it has nothing to do with reality…” He was watching her face, which never changed expression. She just kept checking over her list. Finally, as he trailed off, unsure of what to say next, she smiled slightly, and though her eyes never left her clipboard, she murmured," “Well, your fantasy is about to become your reality, little boy.” That was NOT the response he expected. He started to panic a little. She wasn’t listening or didn’t get it. He grabbed her elbow frantically and said, “No, you don’t understand. I DO NOT need diapers. I am completely continent.” THAT moved her eyes to him, and the fierceness with which she glared at him, and then at his hand on her elbow, startled him. He let go of her elbow. Her eyes narrowed, and after a long pause, she said slowly and distinctly, “I think I just heard you ask for a continence test.” He just stared blankly at her. The words made no sense to him. “Is that true?” she demanded. “I…I don’t know,” he stammered. “What is it?” “Just what it sounds like. It’s how we find out who can and can’t control their bladder and bowels. Sounds like you’re claiming to be continent. I can’t accept that claim unless you can back it up by passing a continence test. That’s only fair, right?” He absorbed this slowly. “You mean you want proof?” She nodded, her eyes penetrating into his. “Better believe it. You wouldn’t believe the number of my clients who try to avoid wearing the diapers they so obviously need. This test is simply a reliable way of telling who does and who doesn’t need my…services. Now, I’m sure you would never try to mislead me,” she said rather sarcastically, “so you can just consider this test as a formality.” “Well, I don’t know. What would I have to do?” he asked, uncertain. “Oh, it’s easy,” she replied, “If you’re continent. Just keep your pants all clean and dry for three hours after you drink a glass of Gatorade.” That didn’t sound so bad. “That’s it?” “That’s it. But it’s not so easy if you’re at all incontinent. And judging by your pants, I don’t know how you’d do.” He followed her gaze down to the spot on his crotch from the bathroom. He blushed heavily, cursing himself for his poor timing. Nice way to make an impression, he thought. “Oh, that’s nothing, just an accident.” She smiled. “They all are.” She went on: “But if you want to try to stay dry for three hours, that’s fine. I’ll give you an excellent chance to prove to me that you don’t need to wear diapers. Otherwise, you can help me carry in your things now.” She pointed to a pile of disposable diapers stacked near the door of the van. He stared at them, wishing he could have them and use them on his own terms, at his convenience. It was tragic to be confronted by this opportunity and not use it. But he couldn’t. This situation was way too threatening. “I guess I’ll do the test.” There didn’t seem to be much of a choice. She wanted proof. He could certainly provide that, and three hours seemed like a worthwhile time investment if he could nip this whole diaper debacle in the bud. “What do I have to do again?” She smiled. This would be fun. “As I mentioned, it’s very easy. You drink a glass of Gatorade and sit in the bathtub for three hours.” “The bathtub?” Didn’t sound too comfortable. “Yep. It’s easier to clean up puddles and messes that way. Along those lines, I’d suggest wearing older clothes. That should be fine,” she said, indicating the jeans and old tennis shoes he was wearing from last night. Mrs. Warren retrieved a large, clear container of what looked like lemonade from the rear of the van, then slammed shut the doors. She walked around the vehicle to the front end, and returned from the passenger side with a small sack of heavy black cloth. “Oh, yes,” she said, smiling at him, “I ought to tell you, just so you won’t be shocked when we get upstairs. I hadn’t planned on this activity today, so I’ve got a lot of other stops to make. I won’t be there to watch you during your test, and I need some way to secure you there in the tub so I know you didn’t cheat. That’s the reason for these.” And she held up the bag for him to see the contents. He peered in curiously and saw several well-worn leather straps and cuffs in a tangled bunch. A chill ran down his spine. “You mean you expect me to let you tie me up?” That didn’t seem wise at all. She was a stranger, and a weird one at that. He’d heard stories about people who got themselves into S&M situations and never gotten out. “No offense, but I don’t know you at all! Why should I trust you?” His imagination started working as he remembered how she wanted to spank him earlier, and his anxiety level jumped a notch. Sure, he’d fantasized about spankings. Maybe someday he’d try it, but now, with an angry stranger, was definitely not that time. Plus, there was a lot on the line here. But she shook her head. “Don’t worry. I won’t physically harm you. I know I could, but the purpose is just to make sure you don’t use the toilet if I’m not there.” She pulled out a piece of paper that looked like a legal document. “Here, look. This is a binding promise I’ll sign stating that I will not physically abuse you while you’re tied up. It will protect your rights, and you can hide it somewhere for use later if necessary. Or complain to the store. You’re protected in a number of ways.” This “promise” was a scam she’d only recently started, and it seemed to work well. She had to be careful of the promises she made, but of course most of it was true. She wouldn’t actively harm the boy, but she would use the situation that developed to her advantage. Anyway, the form was bogus. It just looked good, and most people didn’t know the difference. It was simply useful to reassure her brand new clients that they would be safe. And they would: in several hours, they’d be safely in a nice, clean diaper. She had other ruses to use if this didn’t work, but this boy seemed relieved when he saw the “document,” so she didn’t go any further. He was sadly naive, this one. That made it easier, but no less fun. Mrs. Warren made a big show of signing the document, giving it to him, and telling him to hide it somewhere safe. Then she told him to go upstairs and sit on the edge of the bathtub and wait for her. She saw him swallow hard, nod, and turn to go inside. She smiled again. He would be easy. When Doug went back inside and slowly climbed the stairs that led up to his bedroom and bathroom, he was still more than a little uneasy about putting himself in Mrs. Warren’s hands so completely. On the other hand, he couldn’t figure out how she could take advantage of him. I mean, I have the contract, he thought. And the test is so straightforward. A better test would be to sit in the tub for SIX hours, he thought. Three hours is almost too easy. I guess she could try to cheat by just not coming back until tonight or something, but in that case I simply wouldn’t agree to join the program. This sets me up for getting something if I win, with no chance to lose. Three hours, he thought. I could do that with a GALLON of Gatorade. And she admitted that anyone who was continent wouldn’t have a problem. Well, he figured, I’m as close to being perfectly continent as anyone. I haven’t had an accident since I was three or four. Never wet the bed. In fact, I’ve always wondered why I was turned on by diapers; I don’t even recall ever having been in them…oh, well, whatever. After today, in any case, I don’t know that I’ll ever go out and buy or wear them any more. Too risky. Doug hid the contract away under his mattress, for lack of a better place. Then he went into his bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. His bladder and bowels were feeling great and totally empty. His only worry was whether Mrs. Warren would keep her promise and leave him alone after he passed this “test.” But so far she’d seemed rational; surely she’d admit she was wrong after he proved himself to her. Overall, he was starting to feel very confident: things had looked bleak several minutes before with all that spanking talk, but now it looked like this would just be a three-hour delay in an apparently normal day. After about two minutes, he heard some noise down in the kitchen, and another minute or two later Mrs. Warren joined him in the bathroom. She had her bag of restraints and what he saw was the largest glass from his cupboard, filled with what looked to him like Gatorade. She cheerfully instructed him to sit down in the tub, facing away from the drain. He found this slightly uncomfortable because he couldn’t lean back without pressing the hard faucet into his back. She told him not to worry, that she’d take care of that. In the meantime, she put a leather cuff on each wrist and then one on the shower head above him. These were all locked with small padlocks. She then attached a small, long chain to one cuff, ran it up through the cuff on the shower head, and attached it to the cuff on the other hand. This brought his hands up to about a foot above his head. He found he could bring his hands down to about the level of his neck, but no further. Warren also took a short cord and ran it from a belt loop on the back of his jeans to the faucet behind him. He really couldn’t move his body or his arms at all. The arrangement was simple and effective. She must have done this often, he realized. She disappeared for a second, returning with a small pillow to tuck behind his back so he wouldn’t be so uncomfortable leaning back for three hours. Finally she brought out a little clock, which she set on the toilet seat in plain view. “This is so you’ll be able to see how you’re doing. In a moment, I’ll have you drink the glass over there, and then you’ll have exactly three hours to sit here alone. At the end of three hours, I’ll come back and see if you’re wet or messy. If it’s not obvious, we’ll pull down your pants and check your underpants carefully. “I just checked your dresser, and it looks like all your underpants are white. Is that what you’re wearing?” He blinked. She’d been in his dresser? He suddenly felt more vulnerable. But she was talking again. “Good. ANY signs of wetness, or ANY brownish stains on your underpants, and you fail this test. Is that clear?” He felt like a little boy again, being told his underpants would be checked for brownish stains, but he had to admit it was a reasonable demand for a continence test. “And if you fail, I don’t want to hear any excuses or arguments about wearing diapers, okay? By taking this test, you implicitly agree to participate willingly in your ICP afterward if we prove your incontinence. Right?” Again he nodded. Whatever. As if it mattered what happened if he lost. “And I agree that if your underpants come out clean and dry, that I’ll get back in my van, and I won’t bother you ever again. Agreed?” He nodded happily. Three hours until freedom. He didn’t think he’d miss her. Spank him indeed! Ha! Diapers? Please. She retrieved the full glass from the sink and asked if he was ready. When he nodded, she held the glass to his lips. He had to drink it down a little quicker than he would have liked, as she kept tipping it toward him a little too much for his comfort. It wasn’t bad tasting: not quite like Gatorade, maybe thicker and saltier, or something. But it was probably one of the other sports drinks he hadn’t tried. When he had finished the last drops, he looked up to see Mrs. Warren smiling an odd little smile, as if there was a joke he wasn’t getting. The joke’s on you, he thought. I’m not really incontinent. She wiped his lips in a maternal way, and said, “Okay, now, three hours exactly. I’ve got some deliveries to make in the meantime, but I’ll be here promptly to check on you.” She turned to go, then turned back suddenly. “I almost forgot,” she said, fishing out a small black object that looked like a little radio. “I don’t think it’s safe to have you here tied up alone, so this is a little microphone transmitter that I receive in my van. I’ll just set it here, on the toilet seat, and if there’s an emergency, just a yell will bring me back here in a hurry. Okay?” He nodded, impressed. She was prepared. Good thing he wouldn’t need to argue with her in the future! Luckily, all he had to do was play along briefly here, and he’d get this woman out of his life. She said goodbye, smiled that odd smile again, and left the bathroom. He heard her slam the door downstairs, start the van, and then heard its engine fade away. As Mrs. Warren drove away, she thought about the boy she’d just left in his bathtub, and almost felt a little sorry for him. He looked so earnest about the whole situation, so confident about staying dry, so hopeful about not wearing diapers. If only he knew the reality. She’d seen it before, of course, dozens of times by now, with dozens of boys. Most were, like this guy, essentially continent, she knew. Or at least they were when she first met them. And most had accidently stumbled into her little web, from which they could not extract themselves. All had similar stories, interestingly, of liking to PRETEND to need diapers, or having sick relatives, or some similar garbage. Mrs. Sheffield, the dear lady, caught one every few weeks. And though the woman might be nice, with the best of intentions, she was too dense to realize that these boys were not ACTUALLY incontinent and did not really need her help. But she thought they did, so she referred them to her, Linda Warren, former nurse and current queen of the diaper boys. The ironic thing was that as kind and dense as Mrs. Sheffield was, Mrs. Warren was just the opposite: insightful but self-serving. She knew damn well these boys didn’t “need” her, but she needed them, so they were in her program. She needed them mostly for financial reasons, as this partnership with Mrs. Sheffield was her only income. The more boys she had, the more she was paid. And the longer they stayed in her program, the less work they demanded, so the more boys she could keep, so the more money she made… And she was good, both at enlisting her boys and at keeping them. Now, after about three years, she had all the bugs worked out, so that once a boy was referred to her, he was pretty much hers for as long as she wanted. She could handle almost every curve thrown to her, and by now, had seen almost every variation. Her income was good, and, since the boys never left the program, her job security was excellent as well. She now concentrated on the art of her craft, and now enjoyed simply seeing how the game would be played. This boy, for example, was being resistant, and understandably so, she thought. He was probably no more incontinent than she was. But she had all the cards (or would have them soon) and his decision to try to prove his continence doomed him to what she knew would be a miserable day and a certain long-term relationship with her. For no one, she knew, had ever had a full glass of her “diaper juice” and had lasted more than two hours. Most lasted less than one. Even when she tested it on herself, she had been on a toilet within ninety minutes, and had stayed there for nearly three hours. It had taken her several weeks to find the appropriate doses of diuretic and laxative that would work quickly yet be able to be passed off as a normal drink. Using and mixing a therapeutic dose of furosemide wasn’t a problem, but it had taken some experimentation before she found a suitable solvent for the double-strength mag citrate and polyethylene glycol she used. It made her shudder to think about that: these were the fastest and most powerful laxatives known, and even a quarter of what she used would probably be enough. But she didn’t take chances. She wanted each and every boy that came her way. And so far, she had a perfect record. This boy had no idea what he was in for. He believed it was Gatorade, and was soon going to get an unpleasant surprise. Then the rest of the game would fall into place. Sometime later she heard the first curses come in over the receiver, and since she didn’t really have any errands to run, she pulled the van over to do some paperwork and to listen, for this first “accident” for her little boys was always sort of poignant for her. She leaned back and enjoyed the growing sounds of Doug’s distress. During the first few minutes, Doug tried to get a little more comfortable. His hands being tied above his head was innately uncomfortable, and he faced an unenviable choice between trying to hold his arms up on his own, which, he found, led to muscle cramps within five minutes, or letting his hands stay limp, which rested his arm muscles a little but chaffed at his wrists and cut off his circulation. In addition, his arms being elevated put added weight on the bony part of the pelvis on which he was sitting, making this extremely uncomfortable against the unforgiving porcelain of the tub. He tried to shift his weight, but his jeans were tied to the faucet behind him, and this prevented him from moving enough to get really comfortable. The pillow in his back also wasn’t doing a good enough job on his back; it was starting to ache already. This test would certainly challenge his endurance, he thought, though not in the way Mrs. Warren anticipated. He was trying to distract himself by thinking of other things when, scarcely 25 minutes into his three hour incarceration, he felt his bladder twinge a little, indicating its apparent fullness. This mostly just disappointed him, because he knew it would be a while before he could relieve himself, and that meant two and a half hours of relative discomfort on top of what he was already feeling in his arms, rear end, and back. But he’d held out for far longer than that in the past on longer car trips, so he wasn’t worried about it. Since he hadn’t had a lot to drink this morning, it shouldn’t get any worse. Ten minutes later, though, it did get worse. He started to feel a lot of pressure, and tried to move again in an effort to make it less evident. But of course, he still couldn’t move. Doug smiled, feeling chagrined. It looked like it WOULD in fact be a little test to endure this kind of bladder discomfort for another two and a half hours. He tried to figure out why he was having so much trouble, and could only point to a combination of the beer he had had last night and the Gatorade this morning. Weird. Oh, well. He’d just have to put up with it. But fifteen minutes later found Doug about ready to burst. He swore and groaned, confused about how the beer from last night could still be affecting him. He had to concentrate now not to relax his bladder’s sphincter, which would be a disaster of epic proportion. He thought about how ironic it was that it was turning out to be so difficult to stay dry. This was certainly worse than any bladder fullness he’d ever experienced, and it was quite a shame it had to happen today. As he hit one hour into his test, Doug was wondering how he’d find the strength to last the whole three hours. Suddenly he heard his abdomen gurgle. As he gritted his teeth against the tide of urine inside him, he attributed the grumbling to his lack of food today. Oh, well, he thought, too bad: his hunger would have to wait. Then he heard and felt more gurgles, which was followed by the abrupt onset of cramps. It took his breath away, and he fought to hold his bladder and withstand the pain at the same time. This wasn’t hunger. The pain subsided, but the gurgling continued and became nearly constant, and within two minutes, Doug was surprised by an overwhelming sensation of fullness in his rectum. It begged for immediate release, but Doug quickly clamped down with all his strength, and his sphincter survived the initial onslaught. He was, however, shocked at the abruptness of the urge, and at its strength, and as he tightened his bottom and bladder muscles as much as he could, he wondered what the hell was going on. He must be sick. Why did it have to happen now? His bowel cramps went away for a moment but were soon back with a vengeance. He felt severe abdominal pain and heard the gurgling continue, and battled the strong urge he had to relieve himself. He was now sure he was sick with something, and as he attempted to resist the beckoning call of nature, he started to get a foreboding feeling that it wouldn’t be possible to last another hour and forty-five minutes of this torture. Doug considered the options he had. He thought about appealing to the little black box sitting on the toilet in front of him. Surely he wasn’t supposed to be sick for this test: that wasn’t fair. Maybe Mrs. Warren would come back and let him out, and they could do this all over again some other time. But then he thought, how would he convince her he was really sick? As far as she knew, this impending inability to stay clean and dry might be typical for him, and this just represented an attempt to get out of wearing the diapers that she thought he needed. Anyway, she didn’t seem like the kind of lady who would bargain with him or entertain excuses. So he reluctantly had to dismiss that option. He was sweating now. He groaned again and again as he applied all the energy he could to maintain his continence. He had two other options, one of which was unthinkable. Either he could try to hold out, or he could give in to the strongest urges he had ever experienced. As difficult as it would be, he HAD to try to hold on, because he couldn’t imagine her coming back to find him wet and messy in this tub. The humiliation would be too great, not to mention the consequences… And then it happened. It was at one hour, thirty-five minutes in. He was tiring of fighting, and the cramps had gone away briefly, so he had relaxed slightly, only to feel what he thought may have been a little squirt escape from his bottom and soak into his underpants. He wasn’t sure, though. For that to have happened would simply be impossible, and the consequences too dire. It must have been a mistake. Just to check, he shifted weight to see if his underpants felt wet or squishy. As he did so, he felt another little squirt escape his anal sphincter, and then his underpants felt undeniably wet. When he first felt that sensation, he caught his breath. In fact, his whole sense of time slowed down. His world froze as he focused all his attention on confirming the damp sensation between his legs. He didn’t want to believe it. But even as he hoped he hadn’t done what he thought he’d done, he felt more effluent emerging from his tortured bottom. He resumed breathing, this time more quickly, in a panic. This couldn’t be happening. It was unthinkable. And yet his underpants were certainly wet, and now felt a little full as well. And then, in another moment, the smell from his actions caught up with his nose as well. No doubt, now. For the first time since he was about three or four, he’d accidentally soiled his pants. Not much, of course, but he could surmise the consequences of even the slightest accident. Surely his underpants were clearly stained, and Mrs. Warren would see, and say he was incontinent, and then… For the first time, he began to ponder what failing this test might mean. And he had to face the fact that he had failed it. Even now, as he continued to struggle against his bowels and bladder, it was over. It wasn’t fair, of course, for this wasn’t a representative three hours for him. He was sick, or still hung over, or something. It wasn’t fair, and he ought to get another chance. But he bet he knew what Mrs. Warren would say. He’d taken his shot, and had somehow blown it. Somehow he had failed his “continence test.” He repeated this inside his head as he groaned with the continuing pain. He couldn’t believe it. He glanced at the clock, which showed that he still had another 80 minutes left. Now his choice of what to do seemed less clear. Why, if he had already failed the test, should he be tortured with this pain and discomfort for the rest of the time? Trying to limit the damage did nothing for his situation. And perhaps, he thought in the desperate musings of a man in severe pain, if he gave in and relieved himself fully, she would come back and see that it wasn’t just a little leak, that he was in fact ill. Maybe that was his only chance. Only another minute passed before he decided to spend the next hour and a half in relative comfort. It certainly wouldn’t take much to make him feel better, just a little relaxation, and then she’d see it was all a mistake… He lifted himself up on one hip and relaxed his sphincter a little, only to be truly shocked at the force with which his bowels exploded. With nowhere to go, his watery bowel movement shot down his pants legs and up his back. It felt so good not to hold it any more that he started pushing when the flow slowed down. He pushed as hard as he could, and was gratified by how much better his bowels felt. When that discomfort had subsided, it made the pain from his bladder seem even worse, and he took a minute to think about whether there was any point to trying to fight that urge as well. After all, his poop was so watery, it had soaked his pants anyway: what could peeing hurt? She’d probably never know about that, for most would go down the drain or evaporate. So he relaxed his bladder as well, and a wonderful feeling of relief came over him. Unfortunately, somehow the way his penis happened to be positioned turned the onslaught of urine not down his crotch, but up into his lap, which had been the only dry spot remaining on his jeans. He looked down and realized there was no way he could pass off the dark stain in his lap as anything other than having wet himself. He lowered himself back down to the tub surface and felt a warm squish envelope his bottom, crotch, and most of each leg. What a mess. It didn’t feel particularly bad immediately, but over the next few minutes, as his mess cooled off, he realized that he wouldn’t be nearly as comfortable as he’d thought. In fact, he wasn’t sure that it wasn’t worse now. He wiggled his legs helplessly. He wanted to change now. He’d traded one discomfort for another, and the bad part was, this discomfort would be way more embarrassing when Mrs. Warren returned. It felt horrible, it clearly looked bad, and it was beginning to stink, too. But he’d done it, and now, he told himself, he had to sit in it. What was worse was that every few minutes he’d discover the need to expel more effluent into his pants. At this point, he didn’t even think about it, though. He couldn’t really make things worse. So every five minutes or so he eased himself up and pushed more poop and pee out into his wet, brown, full underpants. And in between his repeated soilings and wettings he had plenty of time to consider how embarrassed he’d be when Mrs. Warren came back and saw him in this state. Before, when he had done it on purpose, no one ever saw him. How humiliating to have had any accident, but especially one of this magnitude! And as he sat there in his wet mess he became more sure that she’d never let him try again. She’d been right all along, she’d think: he clearly needed diapers. And as he grunted and relieved himself once more, he wondered briefly if she was right. As the time dragged on, Doug became more uncomfortable than he could ever remember being. His arms burned, his hands were numb, his back was stiff, and his bottom and legs were cold, wet, and squishy. This isn’t at all the way he thought things would turn out. He watched as his clock crept toward the three hour mark, indicating that his test was over, and at the exact instant it read three hours, he heard a key turn a lock in his front door downstairs. Chapter 4 Damn, he thought, she’s good. He listened to the sounds of Mrs. Warren climbing the stairs, whistling to herself. He saw her enter the bathroom with her clipboard in her hand. “Whew!” she commented. “Smells like there’s a little boy who has some stinky pants that need changing.” He lowered his eyes in silence. Words couldn’t describe how humiliated he felt as he sat tied up in his bathtub with very messy and wet pants. She made it worse by laughing when she looked closer at him. “Well, I hope you don’t mind my pronouncing judgment BEFORE we look at your underpants, but I think it’s quite safe to say you didn’t exactly pass this test.” She chuckled again. “I mean, I’ve seen other little boys fail, but not with so much enthusiasm.” She leaned over to inspect him. “You certainly did quite a number on those pants, and it’s probably a blessing that you won’t be needing to wash those underpants. I’d suggest tossing those out. I don’t even WANT to know what color they are now. Deal?” she asked cheerfully as she packed her timer and monitor into her little black bag. He couldn’t speak. He was simply mortified. That this could happen at all, that anyone would see him, that she would make fun of him. It was all so terrible. She sat on the toilet lid to talk to him, then saw his expression and knew his feelings. “Oh, don’t worry, little boy,” she said, reaching over to stroke his hair maternally. “As I said, I’ve had lots of boys fail my test. You weren’t the first. “And likewise, you won’t be the first to wear diapers for me, either. It doesn’t have to be a big deal at all, if you just accept it. Life goes on, even if you have an accident, and even if you’re wearing diapers.” “But…” Doug tried to speak for the first time. “But I really don’t NEED to wear diapers,” he insisted, nearly in tears. “I’m NOT incontinent.” “Uh, huh, of course you aren’t,” Mrs. Warren said with a patronizing lilt. “But your pants might want to argue with you. Maybe we don’t understand what incontinent means?” she suggested gently. “No,” he said acidly. “I know exactly what it means. I’m just saying that I had horrible luck today. I’m sick, I think, and I had a lot of beer last night. I…I never have accidents normally,” he sputtered with exasperation. “No, you’re not sick,” she replied. “Part of it was the diaper juice.” “What?” “The diaper juice,” she repeated. This was always tricky. “It wasn’t Gatorade you drank, though it is very similar. It had a touch of a mild laxative in it,” she lied. Giving a hint of the truth often helped her credibility. But she found it best to keep him doubting his ability to stay clean and dry. He’ll be easier to manage in the short run if he wonders whether he actually needs the diapers. “I like to call it diaper juice because it helps me decide who needs diapers. You see, it doesn’t make everyone soil their pants, just those with some underlying incontinence. If your sphincters are a little weak anyway, this stuff will tip you over the edge, and you’ll have an accident. Or two,” she added, noting the wetness in his pants as well. “My company has spent a lot of time testing this drink, and we’ve found that the vast majority of people are a little ‘challenged' by the test, but that they stay clean and dry with no real problems. Only those we know by other tests to be incontinent had a soiling problem. It turns out to be quite a valid test," she concluded. She had phrased that well. He ought to believe that story. "Of course, that doesn't really explain why you wet your pants as well. The diaper juice doesn't have anything in it to cause that. You did that on your own," she lied. As Doug heard this, Mrs. Warren's words made his head spin. So, it had been a laxative, but he should have been able to hold it. But he didn't, so was he really incontinent? And he had peed in his pants, too, so that juice wasn't entirely to blame. He didn't know what to think. He had to admit, it sounded like he had legitimately failed this test. But...but he simply wasn't incontinent. He mumbled this again, since it was his only line of defense. "That's simply denial," she responded easily. "And I don't blame you for using denial as a defense mechanism. Bladder and bowel control are some of our most elemental skills. It's embarrassing and a little scary when we discover somehow that we have lost it to some degree, even if it's just temporary. “I know that you are scared and embarrassed. Now, I can't tell you why you are incontinent, only a doctor can. And Mrs. Sheffield says you've been to see a doctor already about it, so I'll take your word for it, and we don't need to address the reasons WHY you're incontinent. Our job is to deal with it." Doug cursed himself for having mentioned a doctor in his made-up story about needing diapers last Saturday. But he never thought it would be used against him. She went on. "But whether you choose to accept it or not, or whether you were aware of it or not, today we have proven that you have a problem with incontinence." He still felt dizzy. She sounded so reasonable. "But if I AM incontinent, I should have known about it. Right?" he asked, almost to himself. "And I'm sure you did, on some level, but you chose to ignore it, or not to believe it. Perhaps we can find some other earlier clues. Think back,” she urged. “I bet you can remember wetting your bed, or having daytime accidents when you were very little. Right?" He nodded. He could. But couldn't everyone? "Studies we have done have shown that our incontinent clients have specific memories like that more often than people with good control. “And this makes sense. If you can remember such incidents, you were probably older than most people by the time you gained control, and late bloomers often have trouble throughout life with bladder and bowel control." This was a fabrication she had practiced many times, and it usually had the desired effect. It did here. She could see that it had made him think. Time to hit him with more lies. "Here's another clue. Another subtle sign of an underlying incontinence problem is if after you pee (and I mean intentionally, in the toilet) you ever have a little problem dribbling into your underpants once you're finished. Normal men don't have this problem, but all of my other little boys do, and it's another pretty sensitive sign." Of course, Mrs. Warren chuckled to herself, how could this boy know that was a lie? Most men didn't examine other men in public restrooms. And indeed, Doug looked shocked. He had thought that a little dribbling was normal. Mrs. Warren smiled. Time to hit him with the big one. "Finally, psychologists tell us that we sometimes deeply desire things we know we need but which we can't admit we need, out of embarrassment or fear. These desires appear in different ways, but one way incontinent people manifest the desire for additional bladder protection is a sexual attraction to diapers. “You mentioned something earlier about this, so I'll bet that's the case with you, and I bet that from an early age you've had a fetish for diapers. It may seem perverted to you, or embarrassing, so you probably haven't told a lot of people. But the fact is that this is your unconscious telling you that you have a serious problem, and that if you aren't going to fix it consciously, your unconscious will help you fix it automatically.” Mrs. Warren let him think about this for a moment. “It's true, isn't it? You've secretly worn diapers before, haven't you?" She was looking at him with such a knowing expression. Doug nodded slowly as she nodded with him. Yes, of course he'd worn diapers. Was this why he liked them? Mrs. Warren smiled. That was one thing she could count on. All of these poor boys wanted to know why they liked diapers, and they tended to believe any credible reason you gave them. "You see, you've always had this problem, and you've always wanted help, but have been too afraid or embarrassed to get it,” she gently told him. “Not anymore. From now on, you'll get the help you need, Doug. And to make it easier on your ego, I'm not going to give you a choice. Sometimes we can't admit what we need, but we still need it. You may not be able to tell me you need to wear diapers, but you have all the symptoms of incontinence, and we proved today that you have a problem. "Now, it would be nice if you could admit you have a problem, so that we can work together to fix it. Working together is so much nicer than struggling with each other, and my experience is that it helps you more to admit your problem and cooperate with me.” Doug remained silent as he considered his future. It was too much to take in. Mrs. Warren sat up, suddenly more businesslike. “But I must tell you that it is hardly necessary for you to help me. It's far more pleasant for you if you cooperate, but one way or another you'll be wearing your diapers like a good little boy." She reached into her black bag, drew out a camera, and before Doug could object, she took several pictures of him as he sat in his obviously wet and messy pants in the tub. "What are you doing?" he cried. Evidence of his experience today was the last thing he wanted. He thought of his job, his grad program application. "Now just relax," she cooed, replacing her camera. "These pictures won't find their way anywhere important if you behave yourself. They are more like an insurance policy for me. As I said, I'm not going to give you the option of not participating in this program. I know your tendency is to avoid the issue of your incontinence, but I'm very serious about forcing you to confront it, or at the very least, to control it. The pictures will just help me make sure you'll stay in my program." That was bad news indeed. This woman was arming herself with more and more weapons, Doug saw. How could he avoid this catastrophe? "Okay," Mrs. Warren said, noting that the pictures had the desired effect. She would take more pictures later, and they would be her trump card for this fellow. "The next order of business is signing a contract for your personal incontinence control program, or ICP. After we do that, we can get you a little more comfortable." With that, she showed him her clipboard, which had on it an official-looking document with a space to sign his name. Doug got a sudden feeling of panic. He couldn't sign. This was it, the last nail in his coffin. If he signed this, he'd never be able to get out of this program thing. So he shook his head. "I'm not signing," he said defiantly. Mrs. Warren took the clipboard back and shook her head. "Your choice," she clucked. "You don't have to sign now." Doug was relieved. Maybe there was some way out of this. "But I will tell you that you don't move from that tub until I have your John Hancock on this page. As long as you're comfortable, you don't have to sign. You want to sit for a while?" Doug grimaced. He couldn't bear sitting here any more. But... When he didn't answer immediately, Mrs. Warren stood. "Fine," she said. "I'll check back in a little while, after I've prepared your apartment. If you're not ready to sign by then, I can leave you until tomorrow morning. I've certainly got plenty of time, you won't starve before then, and you don't exactly need special bathroom facilities. And if you get thirsty, I've always got some Gatorade you could have." He heard her chuckling as she went downstairs. When he was alone he lifted himself up a little and relieved himself once more into his pants. He had had cramps throughout that conversation but had held on until she left. That would have been way too embarrassing. Now what? She had him by the balls, he knew. She had blackmail material, and he couldn't sit here forever. He was so stiff and sore and generally uncomfortable that even a dry diaper sounded like a dream to him. This lady was too good, and right now she had him right where she wanted him. He had to sign the paper. There was no way around it. He dejectedly accepted this over the next few moments. More disturbing was the thought she had planted in his head about actually being incontinent. It didn't sound possible, but she made it sound obvious. And if it was true, did he have any business objecting to this ICP thing? But his bladder and bowel control was fine, he thought. He’d never had an accident. He'd never needed diapers before. And yet, why did he always want them? His head spun with the implications, and he was getting far too hungry and uncomfortable to sort it all out. He'd be best off if he signed the damn paper, got out of this tub, and got her out of his house. Then he could think about it all he needed to, and devise some way to get out of this whole mess. He couldn't think of any ways now, but there had to be some escape. He listened to the sounds of the house while he waited for her to return. He heard the front door open and close several times, and Mrs. Warren made several trips up and down the stairs as well. He heard bags ripping, and the downstairs toilet flush. He had no idea what was going on. And honestly, he didn't care. His mind was set on getting out of here. So when Mrs. Warren finally reappeared in the bathroom and asked if he was interested in joined her ICP, Doug nodded vigorously. "Good," she said, and held out her clipboard for Doug to read. But Doug had no interest in reading the contract. It didn't matter what it said: he had to sign it, and with any luck he wouldn't have to honor it. It was immaterial what it said. "I'll sign it. It doesn't matter. Just give me the pen, and let me out of here," he said irritably. Mrs. Warren smiled, and found a pen in her purse. She'd had a couple of boys like this. She certainly didn't care whether they read the contract. For her it served as one of her backup weapons, in the unlikely event that her right to punish her boys as she saw fit was ever questioned. But in her three years at this job, through many hundreds of spankings and other punishments, she'd never had a boy seriously question her authority. Not after he understood about the pictures, and had thought through what making a formal complaint would mean. She knew that the police would have a hard time believing the story, and would likely end up harassing her client more than they would her. The newspapers, Mrs. Warren knew, would love to get a story like this one, and if they did, her career would be over, certainly, but so would the lives of her clients. Imagine an adult male allowing himself to be diapered and spanked repeatedly, allowing himself to be tied in his bathtub until he soiled his pants, allowing himself to be photographed in that state, even going shopping for diapers in the first place. Her clients had all considered the possibility, she was sure, and once they saw the absurdity of their case, and realized the implications of pressing charges, they swallowed their pride and behaved themselves like good little boys. The contract was so that in the event that she enrolled a stupid or crazy client into her program (someone who *couldn't* comprehend how damaging "coming out" would be to their lives), she could protect herself legally when he made the insane choice to sue. And it was another tool for her to use in coercing her boys: "Yes, I think you WILL bend yourself over my knee. I've got a signed agreement which I could have enforced by law if I wanted. Would you like the police to help me spank you?" It was as vain a threat, of course, as her boys' threats to sue, for none of them, including Mrs. Warren, really wanted that much attention focused on their activities. But perhaps her boys didn't know that. At any rate, she simply smiled as she held the clipboard and pen so that Doug, in his bound state, could sign, which he did without so much as glancing over the page. "I knew you'd be a good boy eventually," Mrs. Warren said sweetly. "You will want to read that, perhaps after I've left. I will also leave a more detailed summary of the rules of the program with you so you can start learning, and obeying, them tonight. I advise you to read through it carefully, as you will be held accountable for all the numerous rules of your ICP, and I will start punishing you even tonight if you break any of them." Doug wasn't really listening. Just nod at her, he thought to himself. Pretend like you care, and then she'll leave, and you can figure out how to get out of this mess. "Now, I just need to go over a couple of things with you before we get you cleaned up and into a nice, fresh diaper. I've had a look around your apartment, so I'm pretty sure of my facts, but I always like to confirm them with new clients. You work in the grad school's lab in preparation for applying for their program next year. Is that right?" Doug, as distracted as he was, was still shocked. This lady had been through his private things! He felt even more violated and vulnerable. What business was it of hers? Was there any limit to her intrusiveness? Mrs. Warren *was* actually sure of her facts, and went through this presentation simply to scare her young charges. She wanted them to think that she knew everything and couldn't be fooled. The reality, actually, wasn't that much different. She took Doug's expression of disbelief as evidence that she was having the desired effect. "And you grocery shop every Sunday at The Grocery Place?’” Doug could only nod dumbly, wondering how she could possibly know so much about him. In fact, Mrs. Warren always marveled at how much could be learned about a person who kept receipts, as Doug did. She went on to `check’ with him about where he banked, rented videos, dry-cleaned. He simply nodded at each revelation, accepting this as evidence of how thorough she was and how difficult getting out of this situation would be. He would have argued with her about her right to rifle through his apartment, but as he was still tightly bound, this wasn’t really the time. This, of course, was all information she needed in order to keep track of Doug during his initial probation period. She would require him to let her know where he was at all times when he left the house, and she was adept at arranging for surrogate “babysitters” to keep eyes on him all over town. She didn’t need to ask about his pharmacy, since he would now be shopping exclusively at The Drugstore, her employer. And when she had gone over everything, she did finally release him. She undid his cuffs and removed the rope to the back belt loop of his jeans. Doug lowered his arms and just spent a moment savoring the feeling of blood in his hands again. Then he stood, and felt some not-quite-dry effluent slide down his pants leg and drop out onto the bathtub floor. Mrs. Warren made him remove his pants in the tub while she watched. Doug didn’t care. He assumed she wanted to watch in order to embarrass him some more, but he was past being embarrassed today. So he was caught off guard when he glanced up after pulling his filthy jeans off and saw a flash go off. Mrs. Warren was recording this moment with a small automatic camera, and had captured him as he stood in his brown-stained underpants with semisolid brown goo caked on his legs, and with his soaked jeans at his feet. He cared a little more about this, but not enough. It was done. He just wanted to shower. She kept watching and got several more pictures as he peeled off his disgusting underpants, soaked socks, and his relatively clean shirt. She had him put his underpants in one small clear plastic baggy, and all the rest of his clothes into another larger one. She told him the larger bag would be available to him if he wanted to wash the contents later. He would not, however, see his abused underpants again. He was told he wouldn’t need to. Then she observed his shower, and handed him a towel with which to dry himself. He felt much better, but still felt dazed as he followed Mrs. Warren into his bedroom, where he looked around as he stood there naked. He saw two large bags of disposable diapers and several other containers of what he took to be the stuffer pads. On his dresser were neatly stacked the contents of yet another bag of disposables, with shorter stacks of the stuffer pads next to them. His underwear drawer was slightly open, and he could see that it no longer contained his underwear, but was stuffed full of plastic panties. On his queen-sized bed was spread a large changing sheet, and a diaper and pad were already laid out on it, with lotion, vaseline, oil, and powder standing by and ready for his use. While he was still absorbing the transformation his room had undergone, Mrs. Warren instructed him to climb up on the changing pad and put on the diaper. “I’ll just watch to make sure you do a good job. We don’t want leaks.” As he walked to the bed, his hands attempting to hide his genitalia, he felt his face turn red. This was obviously more embarrassing than with Mrs. Sheffield in the store, not only because he was being watched, but because the observer had seen him wet and soil himself, and knew he needed to be in the diaper. He knew that he didn’t, or at least he thought he didn’t. And putting this diaper on felt to him an awful lot like giving up, which his pride made it difficult to do. But his practical side started talking, too: Look, it said. You’re not giving up. You’re actually tricking her by making her THINK you’re giving in. In fact you’re just trying to get her to leave, so that you can think clearly enough to figure a way out of this mess. You’ll win this game later, but to make it work, you’ve got to make her think you’re a “good little boy” by gritting your teeth and putting on this diaper. So Doug slowly walked over to the bed and gingerly crawled up onto the changing pad, next to the open diaper. He looked doubtfully at the arrangement of powders and lotions next to him. “It’s up to you,” Mrs. Warren said, reading his mind. “You have to care for your own skin. These are just possibilities. The only thing I require is that you use powder. Because I like the smell. You’ll appreciate it, too, once you get a little more experience with dirty diapers. So pile that on, but feel free to experiment with the rest of the stuff here.” Doug didn’t want to use anything at all, but he obediently picked up the powder and sprinkled some on the open diaper, then set the bottle down next to it. Mrs. Warren shook her head. “Nice try. Keep going with the powder. I want you to put it on yourself AND in the diaper, and I’ll tell you when to stop.” Doug crinkled up his nose, but he obeyed. He shook out a lot of powder into his crotch, and onto his thighs, then onto the diaper. She made him rub it in, and add several more handfuls to his bottom and stomach. When he was covered in powder, and nearly choking from the sweet perfume, she told him to put the diaper on. He carefully slid it under himself. She showed him how to center it and then fasten it lying down, so it fit best. He stood up carefully and noted with dismay how bulky the diaper felt now. Mrs. Sheffield had been right: this was way too much diaper for him. He could hardly bring his legs together, and there was no doubt that it would show clearly under any of the clothes he presently owned. This could be very bad. He’d never be able to hide it. But he was chagrined to recognize that he only had himself and his libido to blame. Mrs. Warren, however, seemed pleased. She stuck fingers into his waist and legs, testing the fit, and patted him on the rump, pronouncing him well-diapered. “I knew you could do it yourself. You know, Mrs. Sheffield thinks you’re something of an imbecile, or at least a little slow. She thought you’d need a lot of help.” She winked at him. “But I know better. So I’m going to be watching you very carefully.” Doug got a chill down his spine. She was on to him. “Now, come downstairs and see what I’ve got for you.” Mrs. Warren led him downstairs wearing only his diaper. In the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator door, revealing a gallon jug of what looked like milk. She pulled it out and poured him a large glass. “The diaper juice from before is very mild, but it is very long-lasting. It would ordinarily keep you rather…runny, for several days. So I want you to drink some special milk I have made to help slow your bowels down and to replace your electrolytes. The quicker you drink this milk, and the more of it you drink, the quicker your diarrhea will stop. So if the diarrhea gets worse, you need to drink more milk to fight it. Okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If you can manage to drink this whole gallon by tomorrow, that ought to do the trick, and tomorrow you’ll get back to normal. Some people, I should warn you, though, do take a little longer to readjust.” She set the glass in front of him. “Go ahead and drink this first glass now so I can make sure you at least get started.” Doug nodded wearily, and drank it quickly down. He was disappointed that the diarrhea would last a while, and he was willing to try anything that would help. If it would help, he’d try to drink the whole gallon before dinner. It didn’t taste quite like milk; it was chalkier and slightly bitter. But since he had never had Milk of Magnesia, he didn’t recognize the taste, and assumed it was the extra medicine and electrolytes that made it taste funny. In fact, this additional concoction of Mrs. Warren was designed to keep him very loose, out of control, and essentially diaper-dependent for at least the next few days. It would help get him started on the right track, and it amused her to think of Doug drinking this stuff to get rid of the very diarrhea it was causing. The more he drank, the worse it would be, and the more he’d drink. She’d check on him to make sure he didn’t really get dehydrated, and the game would stop after he was securely in the program and ran out of “milk.” After he’d drained the glass, Mrs. Warren handed Doug a copy of the contract he’d signed, and a longer list of rules he’d be expected to follow. Doug thought that perhaps he’d read them tonight or tomorrow, just to satisfy his curiosity, but he told himself that it didn’t really matter. Mrs. Warren then gave him his last minute instructions. “I’d advise you to use the rest of the day to explore your apartment and notice the changes I’ve made. Also, it would be wise to pore over those rules, because I’ll be checking on you often. I’ll definitely be back tomorrow, and I’ll probably be back overnight. I had keys to your apartment made, so I can check on you while you’re sleeping.” Doug looked a little shocked. “Oh, it’s perfectly standard. You told me I could do this in your contract. Read it, and read the rules. You have some homework to do before I see you tomorrow.” She winked at him as she was gathering her things to leave. “Promise me you’ll be a good little boy for me.” “Okay,” Doug said unconvincingly. “Now be nice. I see we’ll have to work on your manners. I’m trying to be kind, so you won’t get too many spankings right here at the beginning. But my kindness, you’ll find, only goes so far. So promise me you’ll be good.” Doug swallowed. “Yes, Ma’am. I promise.” She patted his diapered bottom. “Yes, Doug. I’m sure you’ll be a very good boy for me.” Then she left, and Doug waddled upstairs to his room, carrying his rules and contract with him. He collapsed on his bed, exhausted from the physical ordeal and from mental fatigue. He had a lot to think about, but it would have to wait. Linda Warren speed-dialed Mrs. Sheffield’s number on the van’s cellular telephone as she turned out of Doug’s apartment complex. “No, of course not, Mary. No problems at all. He came around just like all of the others have,” she told Mrs. Sheffield. “I hope you weren’t too hard on him, Linda. He seems like a nice boy who just needed a little gentle guidance.” Mrs. Warren chuckled. “Well, that’s just what I gave him. But I’m sure you really don’t want the details, do you?” “Oh, no, no, of course not,” Mrs. Sheffield said hurriedly. “I care more about the fact that they get involved in our program. It’s such a horrible thing to be incontinent and to have those accidents. I just want to make sure they are protected from that sort of thing, you know.” “Yes, I know,” Mrs. Warren said. She’d heard this hundreds of times. Mrs. Sheffield was so unlike her. So caring and nurturing, but also so naive. She thought that she was providing these boys with a critical service which they dearly needed. It would devastate her to find out that these boys were really perfectly normal, and that Mrs. Warren (with Mrs. Sheffield’s unknowing help) had forced them into an essentially permanent infantile lifestyle. It would also shock her, Mrs. Warren thought, how little Mrs. Warren cared about the harm they were doing to these boys. Mrs. Sheffield was in it to help her “clients.” Mrs. Warren just wanted to make money, and doing it with an artistic, sadistic flair was simply icing on her financial cake. “The bottom line is that Doug Easton is now safely tucked away in diapers, and before too long, he won’t even think about not wearing one,” she told her innocent comrade. “And by the way,” she continued. “I know he told you that his `problem’ is temporary, but I have a practiced eye, as you know, and I think I can safely say that he’s going to need our help for a long, long time.” “Oh, dear, I was afraid you’d say that, Linda,” Mrs. Sheffield said sympathetically. “What IS it about our boys? We haven’t had a single one make it to the retraining phase. It saddens me to think that there are that many people walking around out there without any control.” Mrs. Warren smiled. This lady was too much. How long would she go before she started suspecting the fact that they weren’t helping anybody? “Yes, I know,” she said out loud, trying to sound sympathetic. “And how many more are too scared to come in and let us help them? “There are tons of these folks out there. I told you that this was a useful service for people. The problem of incontinence, especially among young people, is a hidden epidemic. We have a new client every two or three weeks, and the rate hasn’t slowed down. I think there are more out there than even we suspect.” “I know you’re right about that,” came the trusting reply. “We must have about forty boys now, right? I guess I’ll just have to keep my eyes open in the store, and try not to let any of them slip through my fingers.” “Yes, that’s right. Don’t let any of them get away,” Mrs. Warren said, perhaps a little too greedily. “I mean, it would be tragic to have them continue with their problems.” “Indeed. I’ll never forgive myself for what my son went through. At least I can make up for that with these boys.” After they hung up, she thought back to when she had been a nurse, working long hours, for what she considered low pay. She had always wanted to go into business for herself, but had never hit upon quite the right idea. It had been pure luck when one day, while paying for some cold medicine in The Drugstore, she had observed the young man in front of her in line purchasing some adult diapers from Mrs. Sheffield. Mrs. Sheffield, apparently out of curiosity, had asked the guy what they were for, and the man had blushed tremendously and murmured that they were for him, for some periodic medical problem. Mrs. Sheffield had pressed him about the details, which had seemed odd to Mrs. Warren until she later found out about Mrs. Sheffield’s son. This young man was being grilled about how he managed his “problem” and whether he wore the diapers all the time. Mrs. Warren watched with interest as the boy grew confused and murmured something about wearing them only when he needed to. By this time he had received his change, and almost ran out of the store with his new purchase. Mrs. Sheffield had confided in Mrs. Warren that she had several young, apparently healthy customers about whom she worried, and this is when she related the story about her son. At the time, Mrs. Warren had thought the whole thing interesting, but an inappropriate topic to be discussing with strangers like herself. She had paid for her medicine and gone straight home. She didn’t think about it until the next day, when she was watching a talk show, and there were some young men in diapers being interviewed about adult baby fantasies. Mrs. Warren immediately realized why that young man had been in the store the day before, since she knew from her nursing job that there were few “temporary medical problems” that would periodically confine young healthy men to diapers. This fetish business made much more sense. One of the interviewees mentioned a fantasy he’d had about being forced to wear diapers, and soon a plan began to brew in Mrs. Warren’s head. All the pieces were already essentially in place. Mrs. Sheffield, the drugstore lady, who had capital but no way to “help” her diaper-wearing clients. The clients, who wanted to wear diapers but wanted, above all, anonymity. All they needed was the middle-man, or middle-person in this case. She could make the necessary deliveries. And what if her clients were too shy? Well, didn’t they often share a fantasy of being forced to wear them? She could do that: blackmail, she was sure, was a powerful tool, one that would not only keep them purchasing her services, but would protect her from the law. These boys would be petrified of people finding out. They were just waiting for her to run their lives. Mrs. Sheffield had been ecstatic, buying a van, hiring helpers to inspect diapers and assure proper use, and essentially leaving the oversight of the boys to her. Linda Warren had quit her nursing job, and devoted herself to running her new business. She had to make it look professional and well-intended to Mrs. Sheffield, so she conceived of ICP’s and retraining plans, typing up rules and contracts, never intending any of her clients to graduate from her program. And they didn’t. Her program was wildly successful, by her standards, anyway. She had been amazed at the numbers of infantilists who were drawn in by her lure, which was essentially an extra-large adult diaper section. It drew these guys in by the boatload, whereupon Mrs. Sheffield somehow got their names and Mrs. Warren forced them into paying her to enslave them. And nobody ever quit. Eventually the time and energy demanded by a client decreased, so that she could focus on the new ones, who took a lot of attention. But her client list, her nursery of baby boys, just kept growing and growing, and so her commission did as well. Now she had a profitable career built around infantilizing young men against their wills, and the beauty of it was that it was fun, looked legal, and was in no danger of ending. She had the perfect job. Occasionally she felt a twinge of guilt about what she did to these guys. For example, Doug Easton had never asked specifically for this to happen. But he WAS made vulnerable by his unfortunate little fetish, and Mrs. Warren often rationalized it by quoting Darwin’s natural selection theory. She was strong, they were weak. It was none of their faults, she thought, but that was the way it was. And anyway, they LIKED diapers, didn’t they? Sure, maybe not like this, but she imagined that they didn’t get many of their other fantasies fulfilled, and beggars can’t be choosers. The only thing she really felt bad about was the one element of her “ICP” farce which was also pure genius, the aspect that essentially doomed these boys to stay with her forever. It was the rule forbidding masturbation, which must just about kill these boys, she thought. That really is cruel, to supply a fetish and then punish the excitement it breeds. Yet it really extended the program. Eventually these guys got used to wearing the diapers, bowed to her desires, and stopped fighting. But she hadn’t had one yet who could go more than a month without satisfying himself sexually. And then she could punish him and extend his probation indefinitely. Prohibiting sex was the one thing that made their ICPs permanent. It was the master stroke, so to speak, and therefore could not be eliminated, despite its cruelty. Anyway, she wasn’t totally heartless: she didn’t make them all wear chastity belts all the time. They DID get their little releases, but for that they paid a price, with their rear ends, and with their probation extensions. She smiled. It was the perfect business. She just wished she could tell somebody. Chapter 5 No sooner had Doug flopped down on his bed than he fell asleep, exhausted from his ordeal. He awoke several hours later, during the early evening, and it was dark. Doug was disoriented. For the moment, he had forgotten what had happened earlier. His first sensation was a strong urge to release his bowels. He stood up in the darkness, and was surprised when he heard the crinkling of a disposable diaper. He wouldn’t have expected this, since he didn’t usually wear his diaper to bed (it excited him too much to allow sleep), but he was pleased, since he could just use the diaper to relieve himself. Drowsily, he relaxed his rectal sphincter and allowed what turned out to be a gush of fluid into his diaper. Somehow the diaper accepted the whole load without leaking, and, more comfortable, Doug sat down on the side of his bed to try to figure out what time it was. The clock said 7:30pm. That didn’t quite make sense. He felt the warm squish of his messy diaper, and smiled. He loved that feeling. But why WAS he wearing this diaper? What had happened before his nap? Then, with dawning horror, he remembered. “Oh, God.” Could it all have been true? That had just been a couple of hours ago. No wonder he was wearing the diaper. But now that he’d remembered, he felt totally uncomfortable. There was something about the memory of his humiliation earlier, and the embarrassment of having been forced to wear this diaper, that now made him want to take it off immediately. He waddled into the bathroom and carefully removed the messy diaper, taking care not to drop any of the mess on the floor. Then he stepped into the shower to rinse himself off. He had no sooner finished drying himself off, however, when he once again felt an urgent call of nature. Would this diarrhea never stop? he asked himself. He headed over to the toilet to relieve himself in a method more appropriate to his age, but saw for the first time that there was something wrong with it. There wasn’t any water in it at all, or more accurately, there was water, but just a little bit, and it was colored blue. He tried to flush it: nothing happened. It was apparently turned off. Well, he knew how to fix that, he thought, as he gingerly bent over to adjust the water supply on the pipes under the tank. He had to be careful as he squatted, because the release of his bowels was imminent, and crouching was obviously sort of dangerous with this kind of diarrhea. When he squatted to look, however, he found that there was some sort of locking contraption attached to the pipes. He couldn’t turn on the water! Now he was in trouble. He refused to mess his pants twice in one day. He ran downstairs in a kind of panic to check on the other toilet, but it, too, was drained, with blue dye, and was rigged up the same way underneath. Now what could he do? He didn’t have much time, certainly not enough to figure out this locking thing and fix the toilets. What other options did he have? He didn’t want to get dressed and knock on his neighbor’s door just to use his toilet; that was embarrassing, and also might take too long. He couldn’t really imagine relieving himself in the tub or the sink; it was bad enough he washed himself off in there. He didn’t want it to turn into a toilet, especially for this kind of excrement. He had no choice, he knew. Not for now, not for tonight. He dashed back upstairs and, swallowing his pride, picked up the top diaper from the pile on his dresser. He quickly grabbed a pad and took them both over to his bed, where he spread out the changing pad, laid out the diaper and pad, and taped himself securely in. Still sitting on his changing pad, he eagerly released his bowels, fully soiling his diaper for the second time in ten minutes. Wow, he thought. That diaper juice has some half-life. Then he remembered the milk Mrs. Warren had made for him to help. If ever he needed some help, it was tonight, with his toilets locked up. He gingerly got up, and when he saw that his full, messy diaper didn’t leak, he waddled downstairs to the kitchen. He poured himself a large glass of the “milk,” and drank it quickly down; then, thinking it would help, poured yet another and drank that, too. That should help, he thought. Despite how Mrs. Warren had manipulated him earlier, getting him to submit to being tied up, making him wet and soil his pants, making him sign that contract thing, he still didn’t suspect any further trickery. He certainly never suspected that this milk was, by now, the major cause of his bowel problems. He thought the whole goal had been to get him to sign the contract so he’d feel roped in to this program. He didn’t understand the extent of her plans for him, and didn’t know how important she thought it was to keep him constantly in diapers this night. After tomorrow, her techniques would change, but this first night she liked to have him diapering himself out of need, not out of fear. It was more amusing that way. But since Doug didn’t know that Mrs. Warren enjoyed his suffering, he wasn’t cynical enough to suspect the vast extent to which his actions were now being dictated by her. And in the end, his naivete would cost him dearly. But for now, Doug just sighed when, fifteen minutes later, he pooped in his diapers again, which severely strained their capacity. He again cleaned himself up, showered, and thought he didn’t like the idea, rediapered himself immediately afterward. He accepted the fact that he wouldn’t be able to fix the toilets tonight, and that due to his upset stomach he might have to wear the diapers until tomorrow morning. But, he told himself, it wasn’t just because this lady said he had to do it. It was his decision, because he was sick. And it was obviously just temporary. He took a look around his room. It was well-stocked with diapers and other supplies. And all of his underwear was gone! She’d stolen his underwear. He’d have to buy more. He suddenly realized he was starving. He hadn’t eaten since last night! He went downstairs again, wearing just his diaper and a t-shirt. It didn’t make any sense to wear pants, since he’d just have to change his diaper again soon anyway. He made himself some dinner, and thought about what to do tomorrow, when Mrs. Warren came back. He ought to accuse her of stealing, he realized. He ought to take some sort of legal action, because it really was absurd, the way she waltzed in here, tied him up, humiliated him, threatened him with blackmail, and stole his underwear. But what would the police say, he thought to himself. He’d let her in, allowed her (a perfect stranger!) to bind him in his own home, and then had signed a contract agreeing to all of this. Or at least he thought he had. He went upstairs and found it next to his bed. He brought it back down and read it while he finished dinner. [SEE CONTRACT] THE INCONTINENCE COMPANY'S INCONTINENCE CONTROL PROGRAM CLIENT CONTRACT I, ________________________, do hereby attest that I am completely and functionally incontinent of bladder and bowels, and have subsequently sought the services provided by The Incontinence Company (TIC, subsidiary of The Drugstore Company) for help in controlling my problem. I hereby state my desire to have a personal Incontinence Control Program (ICP) created for me by TIC, which I hereby agree to follow completely. The major aspects of such a plan have been described to me: I understand that the mainstay of my ICP will be the wearing of adult-sized diapers, either cloth or disposable, according to my needs as decided by TIC. I understand that I am expected to wear my diapers at ALL times excluding showers/baths and diaper changes, and I hereby promise to do so. I also agree to the wearing and use of other diaper-related accessories as deemed appropriate by TIC (e,g. plastic panties, pads, liners, pins). I also understand that, at the discretion of TIC, all bladder and bowel activity will be limited to my diapers, as a means of ensuring incontinence control and fostering discipline, and as a way of helping me to confront my incontinence. I understand that the eventual return to toilet usage will be an issue left entirely up to the discretion of TIC, if and when it becomes appropriate. I pledge to use my diapers exclusively and avoid all toilets unless instructed to do otherwise by TIC. I authorize copies of my house key to be made and used by TIC personnel for announced or unannounced visits to my home, and I give them permission to enter my home at any time, regardless of my presence, absence, or wishes at that time. I further request, recognize, and appreciate the central role played by discipline in my ICP, realizing that strict discipline is the other key component in the control of incontinence. I certify that I have been told that my ICP may include, if necessary, the application of corporal punishment and psychological techniques (eg. humiliation, role playing) as deemed appropriate by TIC, as long as no permanent repercussions are intended, other than my closer adherence to my ICP. I hereby publicly authorize the repeated and liberal use of such measures as spanking and humiliation, and I agree to submit myself wholly to them in the interest of achieving better incontinence control. I also understand that politeness and respect are a part of my disciplinary program, and I agree not to question my TIC representative’s judgment about disciplinary matters. I agree to a probationary period, to begin immediately, the duration of which is completely left to the discretion of TIC, and during which time discipline and supervision may be applied more intensely. I also understand that while efforts will be made to protect my privacy and to avoid public disclosure of my incontinence problems and the methods by which they are being controlled, that there may be unavoidable instances of public disclosure. I approve of these as long as they are made in good faith, with my best interests in mind. I certify that I have been told that my diapers will be delivered in a delivery vehicle clearly marked as carrying diaper supplies, and I acknowledge this as acceptable. I recognize that my ICP will inevitably prevent or interfere with personal, intimate, and/or sexual relationships I may already have or may wish to initiate. My enrollment in this ICP indicates my belief that controlling my incontinence takes priority over all other interpersonal or sexual aspects of my life, and I hereby agree to refrain from all sexual activity during the duration of my enrollment in my ICP. I ask for TIC’s assistance in helping me to control my sexual impulses, using restraining devices or corporal punishment to help me avoid any sexual experiences. I also agree to relinquish all decision-making responsibility regarding relationships to TIC, and I agree to seek authorization from TIC before engaging in sexual intercourse. I appropriately allow TIC full control over my bowel and bladder function and frequency, and I authorize any therapeutic measures TIC deems necessary in the interest of better incontinence control (eg. stool softeners, laxatives, enemas, diuretics, etc.) to be used at any and all times, if necessary, with careful attention to my health. Finally, as incontinence is a serious medical condition, I agree to continue my ICP as long as TIC believes it is necessary for me, unless I otherwise pass a TIC-administered incontinence test, or unless I bring written termination instructions from a TIC-authorized physician. I understand that I will be supplied with a list of these physicians if I ask, but that evaluation by a physician may only take place following six months of enrollment in my ICP. In summary, I certify that I understand and agree to all aspects of my ICP and each of the above statements. Signature____________________ Date ____________________ Witness ____________________ Well, this document would certainly be incriminating, he thought to himself as he finished reading. It gave her permission to do all of this to him, and more, apparently. He nearly choked when he read the part about abstaining from sex. I mean, I don’t have a girlfriend, but I do have an active fantasy life, he thought. TOO active, he replied to himself. His spirits sank as he realized that this piece of paper, of which she had a copy, essentially gave him no legal leg to stand on. He didn’t know much about the law, but it seemed to him that a signed document agreeing to wear diapers would look pretty voluntary to a judge. And, he had to admit to himself, he didn’t relish admitting his fetish, let alone the day’s humiliating activities, to ANYONE, and certainly not the general public. It would certainly cost him his position in such a small, tightly-knit program. No, he thought to himself, I’m on my own here. I’ve got to find my own way out of this. He put away his dishes and went back upstairs. He picked up the two soiled diapers he’d left on the bathroom floor, and put them, for lack of a better place, in the diaper pail that waited expectantly by his dresser. He sat down on his bed, noting the ever-present crinkling sound his diaper made. How could he get out of this? He’d asked himself this only the night before, he realized, and tonight he didn’t have too many more options. He could try to talk to her again, make her believe somehow that he wasn’t really incontinent. A full confession of his fetish might be his best chance. He could explain why the whole thing wasn’t appropriate for him and how the confusion had all happened. But if it hadn’t worked today, why would it work tomorrow? Mrs. Warren didn’t like excuses, he realized, and his failed continence test loomed large in the background. Besides, even the truth sounded hard to believe now. He’d WANTED to buy diapers, but didn’t really need them? Who did that? And why would he have waited until now to protest? Another alternative would be to stand up for himself and challenge her physically. He didn’t want to fight, but maybe this was the best way to convince her how serious he was about not wanting to be in this program thing. He’d simply refuse and protect himself if she tried to force diapers on him. On the other hand, as he thought back to their encounter earlier, he began to remember her size and apparent strength. He wasn’t small, but she really was very physically intimidating, and he began to wonder who would win a fight, if it came down to that. Yet anything was better than submitting to this nonsense. And if she tried to spank him (spank him! That hadn’t happened since he was six years old!), then he would have no choice but to protect himself and his pride. His only other options were unthinkable. He could always go along with this little program for a while and wait for another idea to come to him, perhaps after a detailed analysis of the flaws in the program’s rules. Or he could go along with this thing whole-heartedly, and try to “graduate” soon. But these options reeked of giving up, and were unthinkable. Submitting himself to such humiliating treatment daily was not something he could allow himself to do. He’d have to fall far lower to even consider it. It didn’t matter that he’d fantasized about just such a situation before. BEING in this situation made him realize he enjoyed his freedom far too much. He had other areas of his life to enjoy as well, after all. He couldn’t give all that up just for the opportunity to enjoy diapers a little more frequently. No, if he had infantile fantasies, he’d enjoy them on HIS terms. But he had to admit that he was out of ideas tonight. He grimaced as he almost reflexively let another runny BM out into his diaper. He was tiring of this diarrhea, and of these diapers. But he was prepared to bear it through the night, if he could get things back to normal tomorrow. Just to help things along, he waddled downstairs in his messy diaper and had two more large glasses of Mrs. Warren’s special milk. It hasn’t helped yet, he thought, but on the other hand, I’d hate to think what this diarrhea would be like without it. Then Doug waddled back upstairs, showered yet again, and changed himself once more. He watched TV for two hours before returning to his bed to sleep for the night. He soiled three more diapers that evening, and yet another when he awoke during the night, but he was so tired that he slept well anyway. So well, in fact, that he didn’t notice when Mrs. Warren stopped by shortly after midnight to check on her new baby boy. She was pleased to see nearly all the milk gone, and seven thoroughly soiled diapers in his diaper pail. And as she peeked in on Doug, she was gratified to see him sleeping only in his diaper and t-shirt. As she completed her inspection of his apartment, she was happy to find the toilets as she had left them, but she clucked quietly when a quick survey of trash cans and the bathtub revealed no evidence of shaven pubic hair. She wondered if he hadn’t shaved himself on purpose as a gesture of defiance, or had simply forgotten, or whether he’d even read the rules at all. It didn’t really matter, since she’d get to spank him tomorrow regardless of the reason, but for the future it would be good to know so she’d know whether she could anticipate further compliance problems. She drove away relatively disappointed that Doug was behaving himself so far by wearing and using his diapers, because midnight spankings were favorites of hers. She liked the element of surprise, and could often be creative. But no matter; she could wait until tomorrow. Doug awoke early and was distressed to feel his rectum already full. He felt ready to erupt into his still-clean diaper. He sighed and lifted his hips slightly to allow the putrid brown liquid to spill out of his bottom, completely filling and soiling his diaper. He then noticed his full bladder and turned over onto his tummy to relieve that as well. Then he carefully waddled into the bathroom and cleaned himself up, then powdered and rediapered himself wearily. This was gross, embarrassing, and infantile. He couldn’t stand much more of this; he hoped Mrs. Warren got here soon. He wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen, but she was certainly his only chance of getting out of this mess. It was clear that he had to show her who really ran his life. But he was disappointed when Mrs. Warren didn’t show up until after lunch, long after he’d finished his “milk,” and after three more very dirty diapers. He was studying when she surprised him by letting herself in. He was confused about how she managed this until he remembered about the key. As she entered his dining area and seated herself calmly in one of his dinette chairs, facing him, he decided that he’d better set the tone for how he hoped this little meeting would go. “What makes you think I’ll put up with those lock things on my toilet? Who told you you were allowed to make a copy of a key? Or come in unannounced. This is my house.” Mrs. Warren did not say anything. She simply stared at Doug with her steely eyes for nearly a minute. It grew tense. He wasn’t sure how she did it, but already she was making him feel powerless and small. As he felt her eyes bear down on him, he totally lost his train of thought. Shit, he thought to himself. Finally, she spoke, slowly and distinctly. “Because you are new to your ICP, those comments will today lead only to a warning. But you will never, NEVER, speak to me like that again, unless you decide you like to spend time face down on my lap. And most little boys do not. Is that understood, young man?” Doug did not know what to say. Her reaction was not at all what he had expected. “But this is my house, and…” “No buts. I asked you if you understood me.” Long pause. Doug simply didn’t know how to talk to this woman. She was acting just as if she were his mother, and he hadn’t had to talk to someone like this for a very long time. Instinctively, before he could stop himself, he heard himself say, “Yes, ma’am.” “That’s better. And to think that up until that moment I’d been impressed with your compliance. You’ve obviously been wearing your diapers like a good little boy, and I can see that you clearly have one on now under those sweats.” This shook him. Was the bulge that obvious? And could she really know that he’d worn diapers since she left? As if reading his mind, she said, “Yes, I was here overnight, and yes, it’s very obvious. Did you finish your milk?” “Yes…yes, ma’am. But it didn’t help.” “Oh,” she said sympathetically. “Have you had a lot of messy diapers?” He nodded, embarrassed. “Yes, ma’am.” “Well, look on the bright side. You won’t have any trouble with your messy diaper quota this week. And don’t worry: your little problem should be clearing up very shortly.” That was good news, at least. But what was the quota she was talking about? He had forgotten to read the rules, and now he started to think that was unfortunate. He was also aware that he was inexplicably falling into a little boy role while talking to her. It was embarrassing, but she seemed to expect it, and he couldn’t seem to help himself. Her personality was too strong. She smiled at him. She wouldn’t give him any more milk now. In a very short while he’d keep the diapers on voluntarily, and then, after some time, he wouldn’t dare take them off. It made her almost giddy in anticipation. But for now there was even a more delicious task to address. “So, you’ve been a good boy. I guess I just need to check your toilets and bathtub, and then we can take a look at you to see how you did shaving.” She was sure he hadn’t done it. And her spanking hand tingled with excitement. “What?” he said. He hadn’t heard anything about shaving, but he did have an ominous insight into what she might be referring to. And he didn’t want to do it. No way. Shaving himself for her, to pretend to be her little baby, was simply too weird and submissive. That was taking this way too far. “Shaving. Don’t tell me you didn’t read your rule list.” Uh-oh. Now he knew why he should have read the rules. “Well, that’s a little disappointing, Doug. I was beginning to think maybe you’d avoid a spanking today, but I can’t let you get away with not shaving. Hair underneath your diaper is against the rules.” His docile trance was abruptly shaken loose. Okay, he thought. That’s it. He had been uncomfortable and embarrassed up to now, but had been carried along by the illusion created by Mrs. Warren’s role-playing. But shaving himself and getting a spanking raised this game to another level entirely. With renewed determination, he shook himself, and thought, This is where I get off the ride. “Forget it. Look, this has gone on way too long,” he said, standing and pacing in front of her. “I’m not indulging your little whims anymore. I went along with the continence test because I thought it would be a nice, easy way to get rid of you. And then I’ve worn these “brief” things overnight because of my little diarrhea problem and your cruel toilet sabotage. But I’m no longer interested in your freakish diaper service, or your S&M games, so this has to stop.” He took a breath, and noticed that she was looking at him with an amused expression. It was somewhat disconcerting, but he went on, his tone turning rather desperate. “Yes, I know I got mixed up with you because I was buying those…briefs in that store that day. But they, um, weren’t for me, they were really for my grandmother, who is very ill, and somehow everything got all mixed up, and you got involved. So, well, you see, I’m not incontinent, and I want you to take your stuff and get out. “If you want my grandmother’s address, well, I can get that for you, but that's about all I’m going to do for you from now on. So I’d appreciate you unlocking my toilets, and taking your stuff, and giving me back my underwear, and leaving quietly. Thank you.” Doug took a deep breath and snuck a look at his audience. He thought that had actually gone very well. He hadn’t intended on making up a new lie, but it had come out of his mouth, and he thought it wasn’t bad. Mrs. Warren had sat and listened attentively. Then she said, “But what about your fetish? I know you have a fetish: you told me that last night. And what about the diapers in your closet upstairs, and the used ones in your trash outside? And what am I supposed to do about your incontinence, which you deny but for which we got some pretty extensive evidence yesterday? I can’t just ignore that, Doug. It would be irresponsible.” She sat back in her chair. “It doesn’t surprise me that you want out, even this early. It happens, because this is a rigorous program, and can be difficult when you first start. But you signed a contract. You made a promise.” She shook her head sadly. “And you have a problem that needs to be dealt with whether you want to or not. So, I’m not going anywhere, and we won’t ever discuss that prospect again. Your continence is too important.” Doug started to sweat. He’d forgotten the admission he’d made about the fetish, and didn’t know she’d seen his stash of diapers, let alone that she’d gone through his trash. Wasn’t there anything she didn’t know? How could he fight this? He sat down uncomfortably. Mrs. Warren continued talking, her tone becoming stronger and more commanding. “And let’s get something straight from the beginning.” She paused ominously. “You will never again tell me what to do. According to your ICP, which you are going to wish you’d read, I am the Mommy and you are the baby. And if we need to add some props to help you remember this, we will. I have adult-sized pacifiers, bottles, clothing, and furniture we can play with if we need to, not to mention spankings. You will never tell me what to do, or question anything I tell you to do. Understood, little boy?” Silence. He couldn’t say it. It was ridiculous. He had too much dignity for this. He had a life. He wouldn’t throw it away for this lady or this distorted fantasy. “Doug? I asked you a question. Tell Mommy the answer.” Silence. He didn’t know how to argue with her. It was so absurd. Mrs. Warren stared at him. She knew what he was thinking. She’d seen it before. It was time to get him to commit to this program. “Doug, I can see that we don’t understand each other. But you need to see that there is no choice for you here. And if it’s not because you want to get better or because you signed a legal contract, maybe you will obey me because of these.” She reached down and opened her large black purse. She withdrew two 8X11" glossy photos, and showed them to Doug, who gasped in horror. One showed him in the bathtub, with his messy jeans down around his ankles, and brown pasty goo caked on his legs and genitalia. The other pictured him sleeping peacefully in bed, apparently last night, wearing nothing but a diaper. He stared at these for a long time, trying to absorb their significance. Now he understood why she had seemed so confident since last night. These were very powerful elements of blackmail, documentation of what appeared to be totally voluntary activity that just happened to be captured on film. She had been careful not to use pictures of him tied up; these looked like he didn’t even know they were being taken, which was true. They also made it look like he wasn’t a victim, at all, as though this was the way he normally lived. Like he was a pervert who’d been caught in the act. Mrs. Warren broke his reverie. “Now, I do know where you work, and I did see the application you’re working on for your little graduate program. I don’t want to do this, but if you are so irresponsible as to ignore your incontinence, I will be forced to show these to folks who might be interested. I even have the addresses of your family.” She smiled at him. “Even your grandmother, who might be interested to learn that you have a problem so similar to hers,” she said dryly. Doug felt numb. His heart had stopped. This was it, coming true. His ultimate nightmare. Despair threatened to flood through him. How could this have happened? How could he have been so stupid? He hadn’t seen this coming at all. He hadn’t once taken this seriously or sensed what a catastrophe this could turn out to be. Everything had seemed straightforward and innocent. And all of a sudden he was totally trapped and at the mercy of this fanatical lady. The implications of these pictures were mind-boggling. Doug’s future was in this woman’s hands, he realized. She had the ability to ruin his life. He’d worked for years toward this grad program, building contacts, getting experience. It was within reach now, but this woman, with these pictures, could destroy it all. He’d lost the battle, he saw. This lady’s game was too strong. He couldn’t fight her, he couldn’t argue with her, and now he was even afraid to make her angry, for fear that she would go public with this blackmail. He had no choice. He had to submit. To anything. To everything. If he wanted a life, he’d have to submit. Mrs. Warren saw it hit him, and as always, it was the moment she treasured most with her new babies. For it was at this moment, and not before, that each one became wholly hers. She watched him abandon all hope and authority in his life. Essentially he had just begun the mental process of submission, and, therefore, of regression. After a day of fighting, finally their relationship was becoming what it should have been from the start: Mommy and little boy. It was sort of like giving birth, she thought, only better, since there was no pain (for her), and it happened every few weeks. Now the game would change. From now on arguments would be brief. He would try to please her, she knew, and she would try to frustrate him, both socially (since an isolated baby is a helpless baby) and sexually (so that she’d have lots of excuses, when he inevitably broke down, to spank him and keep him on probation). Yes, this moment was liberating for her, and invigorating, and the latest in a long line of moments to be treasured. She had to admit that once again she’d done a hell of a job. They stared at each other for several more moments, with fear growing in his eyes, and glee in hers. Finally she broke the silence. “Do you understand now, young man?” Pause. “Yes,” Doug said quietly. He thought he finally did. “Yes, what?” She loved this moment. It symbolized the entire transformation from independent man to dependent toddler. He knew what she wanted. And he had to obey. “Yes…Mommy.” Doug stared at his feet, trying to come to grips with his new situation. “Good boy. I’m glad we finally understand one another. We’ll have a great time together, I’m sure, now that that’s settled. First, unfortunately, we have some unpleasant business to take care of.” Doug’s head jerked up. What? Oh, my God, he thought. The spanking. She can’t be serious. But Mrs. Warren smiled knowingly at him and patted her lap. Doug was suddenly afraid. He didn’t want this. He’d never considered it as an actual possibility. If he’d known the rules, he would have been good and shaved himself, but he didn’t know, he told himself. It wasn’t fair. “No, please,” Doug said in a high voice that didn’t sound like his own. “I didn’t know. How about if I go upstairs right now and do it? That would be okay, right?” Mrs. Warren smiled and shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. You had your chance all night and this morning. It was to have been done by the time I came. You had a copy of the rules, and I told you you had homework to do. You either deliberately disobeyed, or you weren’t paying enough attention to me. Either way, I think a spanking will be good for you.” “No,” Doug whimpered. This would hurt. He’d fantasized about spankings, but not about the pain. Now that he faced it, he wanted out. “Yes,” Mrs. Warren said firmly. “Don’t keep Mommy waiting. She tends to get more angry when she has to wait, and I don’t think you want that.” Doug swallowed hard, and realized she was right. He forced himself to stand, then to shuffle his feet slowly toward his new Mommy. Chapter 6 He really didn’t want to do this, but he felt that he had to. He took another step toward her, so that he was now within an arm’s reach of her. She said, “You can go ahead and pull those jeans down.” Hands trembling, he moved to obey her, fumbling with his belt. Slowly he undid his belt, unbuckled and unzipped his jeans, and let them slide to the floor, revealing his bulky disposable diaper underneath. “Okay, let’s go,” she said a bit impatiently, indicating her lap. It always took too long the first time. When he hesitated, she reached up and firmly grasped his ear, causing him to yelp with pain. She pulled him roughly down and felt the familiar plastic of a disposable diaper settle on her lap. Doug suddenly found himself staring at the floor, and feeling very helpless. “Is this diaper dirty?” he heard her ask him, for what would not be the last time. “No,” he whimpered feebly. “Good,” she said. “Now grab the chair legs with your hands, and don’t let go. I don’t want to have to fight your hands up here. If you let go, we start again from the beginning. Got it?” “Yes,” came the weak reply. Her voice was so calm, in contrast to how he felt. He reluctantly grasped the chair legs with his hands. Then he heard his diaper being untaped, and suddenly felt a breeze meet his bare bottom. He was scared. His bottom was so vulnerable! He now remembered his childhood spankings, and how helpless he’d felt then. He cursed himself for ever having fantasized about them! SMACK! The first slap was surprisingly painful, but he had no time to think about it. Her hand came down again and again, more quickly than he could process. And to his surprise Doug found himself crying almost immediately, probably as much due to his being upset about the whole situation as to the painful spanking. It hurt, and it was so humiliating. But he kept his hands on the chair legs like a good boy, because he didn’t want to risk the consequences. And shortly, Mrs. Warren stopped spanking him. His crying faded into sniffles. Was that it? It hadn’t lasted as long as he’d feared. It was bad, but it could have been worse. He could almost handle this! “Doug, why are you getting this spanking?” he heard from above him. “I don’t know.” SMACK! “Yes, you do, and call me Mommy.” “Because…I didn’t shave myself, Mommy.” He felt her rub his bottom. That felt good. “That’s right. Good boy.” He let out a deep breath, relieved it was over. “I like to make sure my bad little boys know why they’re getting their spankings. We can keep going now.” And he felt her reach down, saw the purse in his peripheral vision. She seemed to retrieve something, but he couldn’t see what it was. Suddenly it wasn’t her hand caressing his bottom, but something smooth and cool. A brush? A paddle? This couldn’t be good. When the spanking resumed, the pain was sharper, but the sounds of impact had changed. Doug learned that his trial was not nearly over yet. And he cried again, out of pain and the frustration of being helpless. Twice more she stopped to have him repeat why he was being spanked, and twice more they resumed. It seemed to go on forever, far longer than he’d expected, and it hurt more than anything he could remember. His bottom burned and stung intensely. Finally she stopped, saying, “Will you remember to shave under your diaper now, little boy?” Gasping, Doug replied, “Yes. Yes, Mommy.” “Good boy. Would you like Mommy to shave you now?” “Yes, Mommy,” he sobbed, hoping that was the answer she wanted to hear. “Alright, let’s go upstairs.” And she stood him up, folding his diaper in one hand. His hands went immediately to his stinging bottom. “No, no, young man,” Mrs. Warren said, brushing his hands down. “That’s a no-no. We don’t touch our bottoms after our spanking, because that makes it feel better. We want it to hurt for as long as possible, don’t we? That way we keep thinking about what a bad little boy we were. Okay? No touching.” He choked back tears. “Yes, Mommy.” He hated her, but was desperate at this moment to stay on her good side. He kept his hands away from his throbbing bottom. She led him upstairs to the bathtub, which she filled with warm water. At her instruction, he lowered himself into the water carefully. He was happy to find that, in the water, his rear end didn’t hurt. But it wouldn’t have mattered. He was going to be good. He didn’t ever want another spanking as long as he lived. He watched as she found some shaving lotion and a razor and lathered up his groin. He bit his lip as she shaved away his pubic hair, starting at the top and moving down around his penis and scrotum. He stayed very still, because he didn’t like something sharp so close to him like that. But she was quite adept with the razor, and he imagined she’d had lots of practice. With a sure hand, she easily took away this vestige of his adulthood, and he looked down in amazement at his bald crotch. It looked so strange. He lay back and lifted his legs, as instructed, and she continued down around his bottom. Doug idly wondered how long his hair would take to grow back, but he needn’t have. It wouldn’t be an issue for a long time. When they were done, he let her lead him back into his bedroom, where she diapered him for the first time. She did it tenderly, stroking and rubbing him gently. It felt good, he had to admit. He fought feelings of affection for her as she did this, but it was hard. She was so gentle and loving as she covered him with lotion and powder, lots of powder, and then taped him securely in. It actually felt nice, though he tried to ignore this. This was the same lady who had just spanked him. His ambivalence frustrated him. Afterward, she picked up the copy of the rules that he had laying by the bed (“Why didn’t I read those?” he asked himself again) and led him, wearing nothing but his diaper, downstairs to the sofa, where she read the rules out loud to him, like a bedtime story. [SEE RULES] OFFICIAL ICP RULES Welcome to your new life! Welcome to your Incontinence Control Program (ICP)! The philosophy of our program is based on the idea that “Continence Comes First.” As you know, continence is one of the very first skills you learn, and is a prerequisite to successful functioning in our society. If you are incontinent, whether you are a baby learning for the first time, or someone like yourself who needs to start over from the beginning, controlling incontinence and regaining continence should take precedence over all other aspects of your life. Otherwise, everything else in your life will suffer. Our program is successful because it helps you properly prioritize your incontinence, which is the first step toward controlling and, later, eliminating this embarrassing problem. There are three essential elements to your personal ICP. First, as is true with any problem, the most important step is admitting from the start that you have a problem. Many of our incontinent clients have trouble admitting that they have trouble with such a basic issue as keeping their pants dry or clean. After all, even small children master keeping their pants clean and dry. To help you face up to this very real problem, we force you to confront your incontinence continually via the wearing and usage of adult-sized baby diapers. They are a visible and tactile symbol of your inability to stay clean and dry. The day to day care of your diapers and diaper area, as well as the difficulty you will face in hiding them from other people, will constantly remind you that you do indeed have an childish problem which needs prompt and constant attention. The second part of your ICP is control, the literal center of your program’s name. You were enrolled in this program, at least in part, because of a demonstrated habit of wetting or messing in your pants or bed. You do not need to be told how embarrassing wet or messy pants can be around other people. Even one accident has the potential to ruin relationships, job opportunities, and other critical aspects of your life. Repeated accidents almost guarantee social and business ostracism. To help you salvage the rest of your life before it is permanently damaged, we offer, via diapers, a foolproof method of preventing these all-too-visible accidents. And while having the occasional person find out that you wear diapers might seem embarrassing to you, it does not even come close to approximating the devastating effects of an unprotected accident in public. Wearing a diaper tells the people that do find out about them that you are aware of, are responsible for, and are taking effective actions against these repulsive social gaffes. It may very well impress them! The third principle of our program is essential and, at the same time, often painful: discipline. It is, however, the cornerstone of your hope to regain your continence, and it must take priority right from the outset. We involve discipline in our program in many different ways. For example, we know that it’s difficult to submit to the embarrassment of wearing diapers all the time. But the very act of trying to live with this embarrassment is excellent disciplinary training. So is maintaining good diaper hygiene on a daily basis. And so is following the list of rules which follows, and submitting to punishment when appropriate. Punishment can play a small or large role in our ICPs, depending on your dedication to the ICP rules. It is primarily designed to instill discipline, which is often lacking in clients like yourself. It may be, in fact, the lack of such discipline which has led to your inability to remain toilet-trained. Your participation in this program will hopefully lead you to develop the kind of discipline that will allow you to begin the second stage of your ICP, your Continence Retraining Program. But that’s a long way off in the future! For now, we simply want you to concentrate on your ICP. As you can see, with diapers and discipline, we can help you face your incontinence problem, control embarrassing accidents, and create a foundation of discipline upon which you can build for years to come. This is the philosophy of our program here at TIC. It has proven to be very effective both in controlling our clients’ incontinence and also in maintaining participation in our program over the long run, an area where other programs often fall short. How long will you be in your ICP? This is a question often asked but difficult to answer. People vary in the severity of their incontinence problems and in their attitude about their ICPs. Not cooperating with us will delay your progression toward getting off of probation and moving toward retraining. Since the critical goal is for you to achieve a certain level of discipline and control, there is no upper limit to how long you may have to stay in your ICP. You have signed a legal contract to participate in your ICP, and this binds you to continue with us until the TIC person in charge of your care and training (your TIC mommy) believes you are ready to move on. And this depends entirely on you and how you respond to your ICP. Cooperation makes TIC very happy, and you will move that much more quickly toward being able to use a toilet and wearing underpants again. Think of that! It certainly is something to work toward! So read these rules carefully and refer to them often. Post the mini-list at the end in several prominent places around your home, to help you remember how to be a good boy. Good luck, and be good! DIAPERS: Your assigned diaper, to be supplied to you by your TIC mommy, is to be worn by you AT ALL TIMES. This means twenty-four hours/day, everywhere you go (eg. while sleeping, to school, to work, on errands, to doctor’s appointments, to the beach, etc.). While embarrassment about wearing your diaper is common and natural, it is very important to wear one at all times. The only exceptions are that you may briefly remove your diaper for changing purposes or for baths/showers; try to make the time you spend out of your diaper for these purposes as brief as possible, while still maintaining good diaper-area hygiene. To help you remember to wear your diaper constantly, we have by this time, or will have in the near future, removed all your big-boy underpants from your home, and you will not be allowed to own any in the future, until such time as you are continent again. You may think of wearing underpants as a privilege to be earned, just as if you were a small child. To be allowed to wear your underpants again, you need to demonstrate a high level of continence skill. NOTE: Many pools and beaches forbid infants in diapers to swim in the water. THIS INCLUDES YOU, and so even though it is inconvenient, we ask you to obey these signs where they are posted. Rules are there to be obeyed. DISCIPLINE: Especially during your initial probation period, you will be checked often to be sure you are wearing your diaper. Your TIC mommy will have a key and permission to enter your home, and may enter unannounced up to several times a day, including overnight, to make sure you are being a good boy. School and work schedules will be furnished to your TIC mommy, and you will notify her of dates and errands, so that she may check on you during these times outside your home as well. For specific disciplinary measures, see below under “DISCIPLINE.” TOILET VS. DIAPER USAGE: For the foreseeable future, until your TIC mommy tells you differently, you are to use your diaper for all your bowel and bladder needs. This means that you are not to use any toilet at all until you are told that it is okay to do so. Unauthorized toilet usage will be met with severe penalties from your TIC mommy. At your home we help you by preventing toilet usage completely, usually by turning off, draining, and locking all of your home’s toilets. We add urine-sensitive blue dye to the remaining toilet water, and your TIC mommy will check the toilets (every day at first) to make sure that you have been good. If you live with roommates or a spouse who needs to use the toilets, we will either give them other special dyes, or keys to unlock the toilets, and they will be asked to take an active role in preventing you from using them. Public and guest restrooms elsewhere cannot be similarly equipped, of course, but remember that TIC mommies usually know where their TIC “babies” are, and almost always have an eye on them wherever they are. They may follow them personally, or hire other friendly babysitters to keep their eyes on you while you are at work or out shopping. Be aware that even suspicious loitering around a public restroom, let alone going in, may be grounds for serious punishment. In the interest of avoiding painful misunderstandings, please stay away from these areas and simply use your diaper appropriately. The other way in which you are encouraged to use your diapers is through the recollection of used diapers. As you take off a wet or messy diaper, wrap it up and place it in the bag placed in your diaper pail by your TIC mommy. At the end of each week, when your new diapers are delivered, we will pick up your bag(s) of used diapers for you. TIC counts them and compares the total for the week with your quota, which is set by your TIC mommy. This number will be calculated to estimate your weekly diaper needs at full usage. Therefore, if you turn in fewer than your quota, we know you’ve used a toilet and/or not worn your diaper all the time. This, of course, necessitates punishment. Please note the following as well: Your quota includes a total minimum number of diapers, IN ADDITION TO specifically a minimum number of messy diapers for the week. This minimum number of messy diapers is usually nine diapers per week, or just over one messy diaper each day. Each diaper must be fully “used,” ie. the wetness indicator in disposables >2/3 wet. This includes messy diapers. Diapers are tested by TIC for genuineness of urine with special chemical tests. These tests can determine if you’ve “doctored” a diaper (eg. added water, peed onto it while not wearing it, etc.). Extensive experience allows us to easily identify these diapers and the bad little boys who try to mislead us, and punishment for this infraction is particularly severe. Not meeting diaper quotas will obviously lead to punishment and/or “help.” See below. HYGIENE: Diaper are hygiene is extremely important in preventing diaper rash, which will make you very uncomfortable, and which often requires embarrassing trips to see the doctor. It is also a good way to practice your discipline, and to prove to your TIC mommy that you are a responsible and disciplined client. Hygiene includes: Shaving: It is expected that you will keep your diaper area (ie. ALL hair on skin that is covered by your diaper) closely shaven at all times. TIC mommies will begin checking your diaper area within twenty-four hours from when you start your ICP to make sure you are well-shaven. We recommend that you shave yourself every two to three days to keep yourself clean and comfortable. Shaving makes messy cleanups MUCH easier, and provides less area for diaper rash to fester. Your TIC mommy hates to see hair down there! She will check you often to see that your skin is as smooth now as it was during your first infancy. Showers/baths: We recommend showers or bubble baths every day. Many clients enjoy showering right after removing a messy diaper, to help them clean up. This is fine as long as you keep your bathtub/shower well-cleaned from day to day. Your TIC mommy will check this. During showers or baths you are expected to wash your diaper area very thoroughly, including both orifices. These are areas with very sensitive skin which must be kept clean. Diaper changes: Since you must use every diaper fully, which often means wearing a diaper long after it has been initially wet or dirtied, it is critical that you use vaseline, lotions, and/or powder to keep your skin in good shape. It is generally up to you to choose what combination you like the best, though your TIC mommy may have some special rules or suggestions for you. She will also provide you with any and all supplies you may need for this purpose. SEX: By enrolling in this program you have promised not to engage in any sexual activity until after your restored continence has been documented and your participation in your ICP has been terminated. The parameters of this rule should be clear, but we have found it necessary in the past to elaborate on this point. “Sexual activity” for boys means any situation which involves an erection or orgasm/ejaculation. In other words, you are not allowed to ejaculate while in this program; this includes sex with other people as well as masturbation. The reasons for this are simple and important. It is a matter of priority. Incontinence control requires full concentration all day long, every day. Since boys use the same part of their bodies for urination as for sex, some boys become confused and/or preoccupied when faced with the opportunity to use their penises for more than one purpose. You need your full energy and concentration in order to return to full continence, and anything, like sex, which takes your mind off this process, is counterproductive. At TIC, we believe there is another benefit to abstaining from sex while in the program. We like to use it as an incentive to cooperate with us in restoring your lost control. It fits in with the rest of the program: think of it as though you are a little boy who is growing up slowly. Parents use the promise of underpants as inducement toward continence; we use this as well, plus the promise of once again being able to enjoy the grown-up pleasures of sex. Babies don’t have sex, and while you are in diapers, neither will you. We know, however, that boys like you have trouble controlling their strong sexual urges, so we have devised several ways to help. First, we obtain agreements from significant others not to participate in sexual activity with you, to actively discourage you from engaging in any activity, and to report any suspected or witnessed activity to us directly, so that we may help you in avoiding such activity in the future. Second, we try to eliminate opportunities and the temptation for you to indulge in these naughty acts when you are alone, via several ways: You must always wear your diaper, as already mentioned. All diapers are meticulously tested chemically for ejaculate (eg. semen, sperm, etc.) when turned in. All disposable paper products are removed from your home permanently. You have no need for toilet paper, and other needs, such as kleenex or paper towels, can be satisfied with cloth products like handkerchieves or towels. All laundry is examined carefully by your TIC mommy before you are allowed to wash it. You are not allowed to touch yourself between the legs, even through your diapers, for any purpose other than cleaning, and these times are to be kept brief. Because some boys have demonstrated extreme resourcefulness in deceiving us, chemicals have been added to your sinks and bathtub/shower which will turn bright red if these surfaces come into contact with any ejaculate. These chemicals are permanent and are impossible to remove (this has been tried, and trust us, it does not work). Breaking the sex prohibition is treated very harshly, with both punitive and preventative measures often being taken. We believe strongly that sexual activity must be avoided by you at all costs, and we will work with you to eliminate these acts if they become a problem. This is a supreme example of how discipline plays a role in your ICP. If you believe you may have a problem with masturbation or other naughty activities in the future, please discuss this with your TIC mommy from the outset, so that we may prevent any problems from occurring. DISCIPLINE: As one of the central tenets in your ICP, discipline is obviously very important. In addition to the aforementioned role it plays in successful continence, it plays a large role in encouraging your active participation in this program as well. Discipline comes in two varieties in your ICP: self-imposed, the kind we want you to develop for yourself, and externally-imposed, in the form of punishment. Both of these types, if you have not already encountered them, will become very familiar to you in the near future. When we sat down to devise the punishments we thought would be most helpful to you in developing your discipline, we decided to focus on what would be most meaningful to you in your ICP. In keeping with the idea that you are starting from the beginning again (eg. wearing diapers, looking forward to toilet-training, etc.), we thought that a most infantile punishment, the spanking, might be most appropriate. It not only reminds you of your infantile incontinence, but it will reinforce your relationship with your TIC mommy, which ought to be that of a mother-toddler. There should be an element of nurturing and caretaking, but also an element of strict discipline as well. This mother-toddler relationship is a perfect analogy of what we think will work best; after all, nature uses it every day to teach continence the first time! The following list includes brief glimpses of some of the more common punishments doled out by mommies in the past. It is certainly not exclusive, and mommies have the liberty to devise and use nearly any sort of punishment if they think it will help you improve your self-discipline. The only limitations are that we ask TIC mommies to tone down punishment in public, unless necessary, and we forbid any punishment that might lead to permanent physical injury. Spankings: These are often the straightforward and old-fashioned type, with you being bare-bottomed and over your TIC mommy’s knee, given with an open hand. However, they are subject to modification by inventive mommies. In certain circumstances they may be given in public (see below) but usually are given in the privacy of your home. Given for a wide variety of offenses, including not wearing your diapers, poor hygiene, not shaving, backtalk, disobeying your mommy, touching yourself, having an unauthorized orgasm, being spotted near a public restroom, and going on errands without first telling your TIC mommy. Spankings are usually given without warnings beforehand, so if you have a doubt about whether you might be breaking a rule, ASK. The Wet Bet: This is a favorite of our mommies, so look out. TIC mommies love to visit their babies in public places and check to see if they are wearing their diapers by challenging them with the Wet Bet. It is not to be feared by good little boys who always wear their diapers, but it can become quite an embarrassing or painful problem for naughty little boys caught without their diapers on. In the Wet Bet, your mommy will bet you that you are wearing your diaper, and will then ask you to wet it for her. Good boys wind up with a wet diaper that simply needs changing, but bad boys end up with very wet pants in very public places. Refusing to take the bet leads to an immediate spanking wherever you happen to be at the time. You are told about this at the beginning so that you are not tempted to go without your diaper in public. You WILL be asked to take the Wet Bet, so be good and always wear your diaper. Bowel Encouragement: This is not so much a punishment as an old-fashioned medicinal treatment. If you fail to turn in your required quota of messy diapers for the week, you force your mommy to conclude that you are constipated and need a little help moving your bowels. This is most often accomplished using the suppository series, wherein your mommy encourages you to move your bowels by giving you a series of powerful suppositories in sequential diapers during a twenty-four hour period. Each diaper must be worn until your mommy thinks the suppository has done its job fully, and then you may be changed and given a fresh suppository. We find this treatment to be very effective, and often one series is the only such treatment any one client ever needs to help keep him regular and obedient. Humiliation: As mentioned, driving home your infantile status is effective both in reminding you of your underlying problem and in reinforcing your relationship with your mommy. Humiliation, both formally and informally, is often used by our mommies to emphasize what they feel is undisciplined or immature behavior. Being forced to eat baby food, or to use bibs, bottles, baby talk, and baby clothing and furniture often makes the point very clearly to our clients. Each mommy has her own favorite ways of embarrassing you, so be warned now. Avoiding this treatment, or escaping it once it has started, is only accomplished by accepting your punishment like a big boy and following all the rules (ie. growing up in your mommy’s eyes). Some of this humiliation inevitably occurs in public, but you can minimize this by being as good as possible. Wearing diapers is embarrassing, we know. Don’t make things any worse. Misc. Our mommies have your permission to use other forms of corporal, psychological, and diaper punishment on you at any time if it is felt appropriate and abides by the rules outlined above. A final word: no one is perfect, so you can expect to be punished, probably many times, over the duration of your ICP. We have yet to meet an ICP boy who doesn’t need an occasional spanking, or who isn’t better behaved afterward. (Of course, we also have yet to meet an ICP boy who thinks he needs the spanking! We wouldn’t expect any less. Boys are boys, after all.) How often will you be spanked? That is entirely up to you. Nobody likes to be punished, but our goal is to try to help you become more responsible and disciplined, and your punishment will help you move closer toward getting out of your diapers and back into underpants. It might be difficult to recall how good the punishment is for you when you are perched on a lap sunny-side up, or if you are forced to wet your pants in public, or spend an entire day in a VERY messy diaper, but if you can learn anything from it, it is worthwhile. Admit your mistake, accept your punishment, learn from it, and move on. 6) PROBATION: You are automatically on probation when you begin your ICP. While on probation you are subject to very close supervision and very strict discipline. Visits from your mommy to home and in public are frequent, and punishment is more severe. Its duration may vary in length from several weeks to several years, in the worst case, depending on your cooperation and attitude. Your mommy will take you off of probation when she is convinced that you will unfalteringly adhere to the rules and the philosophy of your ICP. Most clients initially appreciate this attention to detail, but we view getting off probation as one of the initial signs that you may be developing enough discipline to merit terminating your ICP and beginning toilet-re-training. 7) TERMINATION: Because our punishment often generates strong temporary urges to terminate participation in the ICP, we have made exit from an ICP relatively difficult, at the request of our clients. However, continence is the skill by which everyone in this program is judged, and if you demonstrate perfect continence, you may terminate your ICP. Our anticipation is that you will not regain continence until after finishing your ICP and undergoing our intense second step of the program, the Continence Retraining Program. You can take the short-cut, however, if you satisfy one of two criterion: a) Pass a continence test given to you by your TIC mommy. The use of mild “diaper juice” during a three hour continence test has been proved to be a reliable differentiator between who needs to be in our program and who does not. b) Get a signed note from an impartial physician testifying to your total continence of bowel and bladder. This is an available option only after six months of an ICP, since this is the established minimally therapeutic time in our program. Your TIC mommy will furnish you with a list of TIC-recognized physicians eligible to evaluate your continence status. Your mommy may ask you to obey certain other rules, and she, of course, has every authority to impose them on you. It is difficult to follow an ICP correctly all the time, but TIC has a proven history of EFFECTIVE INCONTINENCE CONTROL. Your full cooperation makes our job easier and your life more enjoyable. Good luck, and be a good boy! MINI-LIST OF RULES (to be posted in prominent places in your home) ALWAYS wear your diapers. Use them and them alone for all of your potty needs. Keep yourself CLEAN and SHAVEN. Use your diapers COMPLETELY, and SAVE them in your diaper pail for your TIC mommy. NEVER touch yourself in naughty ways or have any sort of sexual activity. ALWAYS do what your TIC mommy tells you to do. ACCEPT YOUR PUNISHMENT and try to learn from it. LOVE your mommy; she’s here to help! As he listened to the introduction, he fought the tendency to buy into the philosophy. But it sounded almost reasonable to him, and he wondered if they really did care about him and about helping him. But then again, it was so perverse. How could it be on the level? It was so extremely humiliating, he thought, to be lumped in with people who wet their pants or their beds, and to be treated like he was a baby. And how could they think this would really “help” him? They couldn’t be serious. This wasn’t a joke or a game. They really were going to treat him like a baby, on purpose, because they said he deserved it. The whole thing, “Working toward wearing underpants again,” made him feel so infantile. It really was stupid, he decided, not helpful. They couldn’t fool him. Other thoughts that ran through his mind as Mrs. Warren read what was to become his bible for the foreseeable future involved how he could fake compliance with these rules. There had to be flaws he could find. He was smart, and he had to be able to figure it out. Unfortunately, Mrs. Warren was smart, too, maybe even smarter, and she appeared experienced at this job. As she read the diaper rules, he saw how smart she was. Testing diapers seemed like a lot of work for her! But if they really did it, that neutralized many of his first disobedient ideas. He wondered if they really did do it, and how. He was trying to think about how he could fake using the diapers (peeing into them without really wearing them, etc.) when his new Mommy told him how her inspectors look for wetting patterns like splattering that gives away bad babies. Wet diapers have to look right, she said, which is impossible without wearing them. He became even more dismayed about the messy diaper quota and rules. He didn’t look forward to having to “fully use” his messy diapers. That meant wearing them for a while after he pooped, right? Being forced to wear messy diapers was gross, and would significantly add to his cleanup time. Using a shower would help, but what if he was away from home? The part about avoiding public bathrooms struck him as being impossible to enforce. Then he remembered how she had gone over with him his shopping and banking habits. She really would know where he was all the time. But seriously--who would be watching? He also had to call her whenever he left his apartment to go out. Doug could just leave a message on her cellular phone mail, so she could keep track of him all the time. But Mrs. Warren said she had other “clients.” How did she keep track of all of them? He thought that maybe this was an opportunity. He’d have to keep it in mind. It was when they got to the sex prohibition that he really got depressed. From the moment she read him the rules, he knew he’d never be able to follow them. He could nearly accept being forced to live his secret fetish and ultimate fantasy. It was painful, confining, and humiliating, but at least it was his fetish. He was even now feeling strong sexualurg es, and it was these that he thought would make this lifestyle palatable. But no sex? No masturbation? He couldn’t imagine. He now did that daily, and that was without a diaper in contact with him. Being sentenced to be in perpetual contact with his fetish object but never being allowed to climax, this was the best description of hell he could think of. He couldn’t live with that rule. He’d either have to get out of the program (which he was still determined to do) or figure out some way of getting around it. But his heart sunk as he listened to her precautions. He didn’t know where he could hide the evidence if his diapers, tissues, laundry, and tub/sinks were off limits. Could she really test all of these? That red dye sounded fake. And what if he smuggled home some tissues and then threw them away back at work? Hmmm… His mind wandered as she read him about his discipline. Spankings, and some wet thing, messy diapers, blah, blah, blah. How had this happened to him? It had only taken four days for his life to be ruined by two women. He’d just wanted some diapers for this week, for a little kinky fun. Now, he was living a nightmare, forced back into an embarrassing toddlerhood filled with spankings and diapers. He had just allowed himself to be spanked and shaved. He felt so degraded. How could this be real? But the alternatives were even worse, he told himself. At least this way, the rest of his life was still intact, and if he could somehow still get out of this program, nothing would be lost. He was still on target for his high-prestige life of research and academia, somewhere in the future. His dream was still intact, even if he had to sacrifice a little more for a few days or weeks to achieve it. Doug’s attention was refocused when she started talking about termination of the program. Another continence test, which he didn’t want to think about, or a trip to a doctor. That would be embarrassing, sure, but at least it couldn’t be tampered with. At least here was a foolproof way out, if everything else failed and six months from now he was still in diapers. This made him feel better: there was an upper limit to this madness. At the most, this surreal distraction would end in six months, and then he could return to his life. Mrs. Warren finished her little dramatic reading and helped him tape up copies of the mini-list all over his apartment. She then assured him she’d be back often in the next few days and nights to check on him. After a fond little pat on his diapered behind, she left. Doug watched his Mommy drive away in her pink pastel diaper van, and snaked his hands down the back of his diaper, finally able to rub his still-sore bottom in peace. Chapter 7 When Doug had spent several minutes soothing his hot, red bottom, he sat down in stunned amazement to consider what his life had suddenly been turned into. He thought of the mounds of diapers up in his room, destined to be worn and used by him in the near future. He thought of being forced to call Mrs. Warren “Mommy,” and essentially forced to do anything she told him to do. It was so humiliating. How could he possibly live with this? But what could he do? he asked himself. He told himself over and over that he had no choice. That it didn’t matter how he got here and what he thought about it. He simply had to play baby now, or risk losing the rest of his life. It was unfair, and miserable, but he had to be realistic: it was his only option if he didn’t want to be the laughingstock of his family, friends, and colleagues. He stared down at the bulky diaper he had sentenced himself to wear. Because he had gotten cute and self-righteous over the phone with Mrs. Sheffield, he was now going to wear the thickest, loudest diaper ever. It would undoubtedly be noticeable, and even more embarrassing was how much he had contributed to this situation. If he hadn’t gone into the store, if he hadn’t lied about being incontinent, if he hadn’t lied about wanting such an unmanageable diaper, if he hadn’t agreed to the incontinence test…there were so many ways he could have avoided this, he thought. But at every step, he’d made the wrong move, and now he was stuck. Stuck in a diaper so thick he wasn’t sure he could even masturbate through it, even if that was allowed. But, of course, he had been operating under the assumption that this was a game of which he had control. He now knew differently, but it was too late. This diaper service was a business, and a serious one at that. And he had just contracted them to enslave him in diapers. He snorted. It sounded like a dream come true. But--at least according to how his bottom felt right now--it was closer to a nightmare. He had to take this situation day by day. If he tried to deal with the whole thing, he’d get too depressed. But if he only thought about the next day, he could get through. Tomorrow wouldn’t be too bad. In fact, this week wouldn’t be too embarrassing, since he was studying at home alone. This was almost what he had intended for this week, anyway. No one had to know. Next week would be interesting, though, when he went back to work. How would he ever keep his co-workers in the dark? Bulky clothes, he mused… His real life would be quite a challenge. For the next day, though, his job was easy. Study as much as possible from his GRE Review Book, and, in the words of Mrs. Warren, “be a good little boy.” He actually didn’t care how ridiculous that sounded: right now, and for as long as his bottom kept hurting, he was happy to wear his diaper compliantly, and do anything else he needed to. He wasn’t interested in risking another spanking right now. Doug was surprised to find his diarrhea clearing up fairly quickly that afternoon. Mrs. Warren was right again, he thought. He didn’t like to admit it, but she seemed to know everything. And as his diarrhea slowed, he noticed that his diaper consumption was slowing as well. He thought about this idly during dinner. He would have to worry about this “diaper quota”. He calculated his usage for the week at his new, slower rate, and realized he’d be hard-pressed to wet enough diapers. And if he didn’t, he knew what awaited him. So he began to drink more that evening. This, he only half noticed, had the effect (desired by Mrs. Warren) of his spending more and more time in partially-wet diapers, as he conscientiously waited to saturate them fully. By the next day, Thursday, Doug was consciously starting to relax his sphincter control, wetting whenever he felt the urge. His diapers held almost anything, and as long as he had the opportunity to relax and not worry about control, why not? At this point, it wasn’t like it was important whether he tried to hold it back or not. The rules didn’t reward him for that! So who needs it? If I have to be a baby, I might as well take advantage of it, he thought. It’s the only perk of this stupid situation, after all. On Thursday, for the first time, Doug felt the need for the first time to have a real, formed BM. This was another little landmark for him, since it involved using his diaper for an “optional” mess: it wasn’t like the diarrhea, where he was controlling an emergent situation. It also necessitated wearing the diaper for some time afterward, since he hadn’t wet in it yet. It usually felt good, but today, as he squished around in his full pants, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being forced to do this, to wear his poop-filled diaper. Mrs. Warren was making him do this, and for some reason that made it less fun. Mrs. Warren stopped by occasionally and was pleased when she checked Doug’s diaper, diaper pail, toilets, and tub. She acknowledged his good behavior with a sticker on his refrigerator, about which she said he should be proud. He found it difficult to get excited about a sticker. It was just one more embarrassing element to this absurd program. Mrs. Warren had expected this good behavior. It was typical of her new boys for the first few days, what she called the “honeymoon” period. Their bottoms still stung, and the potential humiliation of the photos was still fresh in their minds. They also weren’t yet bored with the program, and hadn’t had enough time to build up a huge amount of sexual tension. This would all change, she knew... Doug did come up with some questions for Mrs. Warren, however, as he found minor problems with the ICP. How, for example, was he supposed to blow his nose if she had forbidden all paper products from his apartment? It was easily solved, Mrs. Warren said, by using an old-fashioned handkerchief, which, like his other laundry, was to be inspected by her before he took it to the complex’s laundry room. Working out details to another problem, Doug agreed to shave himself every other day to keep his bottom and groin smooth. On Friday, he did this for the first time, and found that it wasn’t too difficult, except for his ego. Saturday was the day of his big test, and, knowing this, Mrs. Warren showed up at his apartment early in the morning to see him off. She presented him with a large, pink pastel diaper bag, which he was not so pleased to receive. It was so frilly and infantile that it could not be mistaken for anything other than what it was. He pled his case to her that it was just too embarrassing to take out in public, but Mrs. Warren said that it was more important to be prepared properly than to be socially comfortable, and she therefore wouldn’t accept his excuses. This brought up an issue Doug hadn’t considered before. Surely there would be times when he’d have to change himself in public, but how was this possible if he wasn’t allowed near restrooms? It wasn’t so hard, said Mrs. Warren. First of all, any time he went out, he should already have informed her, so that she or a babysitter could watch him. If the possibility of needing a change existed, they would know about it, and could appropriately interpret his usage of a bathroom. If he used it to change himself, he should naturally have a used diaper to show for it, and this could be checked when he arrived home. He was, however, warned that any trip to a public restroom would be carefully watched and, often, timed. Some of his “babysitters” might even be male and could follow him in. Any activity conspicuous for masturbation or using a toilet would be punished as such. As long as he hurried and was a good boy, he’d be okay. So he went off with his pink diaper bag to take his test. It lasted through lunch, and he found that by restricting fluids, he didn’t have a problem needing a change. This was a relief for him. No one even noticed his bag, or his bulky bottom, or his waddle, or his rustling, probably because everyone was so preoccupied with the test. Doug came home from the test impressed with his academic performance, considering all the stress he’d been under during the preceding week. With the test finished Saturday night, though, Doug started thinking about the future. He was worried about going grocery shopping tomorrow, his first errand outside his apartment wearing diapers. He also started thinking more long-term, and he was already tired of wearing these huge diapers. It was a pain. In all of his fantasies, he’d never imagined he could miss the convenience of the toilet, but he was starting to. It took longer to change messy diapers, and cleaning himself was tedious and, often, gross. Fussing with tapes and getting the fit right took practice. It would be so much easier to pop into a bathroom and use a urinal. In addition, there was also the growing problem of his mounting sexual appetite. He hadn’t come in several days, and that was just about a record for him. Plus, he wasn’t excited about resuming his public life on Monday when he went back to work. Hiding these bulky diapers might be impossible, and would at the very least be a huge social burden he’d have to deal with constantly. All in all, he was beginning to feel far less obedient than he had over the past few days. He was starting to see that, just as he’d feared, he couldn’t live this life constantly. It wasn’t practical or desirable. If he was going to cope, he’d have to figure out some ways to cut corners, to express his independence in little, harmless ways, and to maintain a vestige of his former autonomy. He mulled this over in his head, before forming a plan for tomorrow. He needed groceries. He assumed he’d be followed, or something, but he wondered how Mrs. Warren would follow him if she didn’t know he’d left. What if he left right after she visited tomorrow? She never returned right away. She’d never know. And if she didn’t know, he could venture out without his diaper, and not risk embarrassment tomorrow at the store… It made him a little nervous to think about, but it had to work, right? If he was scared, he could always take along a diaper in the car, into which he might be able to change quickly if he somehow met Mrs. Warren on the way there or back. And he’d hurry, to cut down further the chance of being discovered. The risk, he calculated, had to be miniscule. And the symbolism, and implications for later, were enormous to him. If he could poke a little hole in her regime, there might be other opportunities later. His life might end up being manageable after all. Doug went to sleep Saturday night excited, with the first bit of hope about the future that he’d had in days. As he settled into bed, feeling the now-familiar thick cushion between his legs, and hearing the omnipresent crinkling of his diaper, he could hardly wait until for what the next day would bring. If he’d known what would really happen, however, he wouldn’t have wanted ever to wake up. Mrs. Warren visited Doug around noon on Sunday, which was great for Doug’s plans. After she left, he watched the diaper van exit the apartment complex’s parking lot, and as soon as it disappeared, he ran upstairs and took off his diaper. He was going to leave it at home, but on second thought, just to be safe, he folded it carefully and decided to take it with him, on the off chance he saw Mrs. Warren on the way to the grocery store. He wasn’t going to take any chances. He pulled his jeans back up, and immediately noticed how strange not wearing a diaper felt after only a couple of days. It felt weirder, of course, because he didn’t have any underwear to wear, so his normally-insulated skin was in direct contact with his rough jeans. In addition, for the first time in fifteen years, he had no pubic hair, so he felt the odd sensation of breezes drifting through his crotch periodically. But he had to hurry. He didn’t want to be out of his diaper for more than forty-five minutes this first time. It would be too horrible if she found out. Later, he might explore the limits of his freedom, but right now he wanted to play it very conservatively. So he took the spare diaper, grabbed his keys, and jumped into the car. He drove carefully to the grocery store, keeping an eye out for pastel-colored vans, but as he expected, didn’t see any. He quickly made his way inside the store, grabbed a cart, and efficiently started collecting the items he needed. He was organized and fast; he wanted to take no chances. He breezed through several aisles before seeing the one thing that could make his heart skip a beat. Mrs. Warren was in the store! He saw her near the cash registers, but she didn’t see him, he thought. She didn’t have a cart, so it appeared that she must just be looking for something specific. Suddenly it hit him. She was looking for him. He didn’t know how, but she’d found him. He peeked down an aisle and saw her crossing it at the other end. He knew what he had to try to do: guess where she was heading, and go the other way. He could still escape, get home, and get into a diaper before she caught him. It wasn’t a sure bet, but it was possible. He could be quite savvy in these situations. But damn! How had she found him? And now he questioned why he had even taken this chance. His bottom tingled. He didn’t want to cross this lady again. He was still a little sore from the first spanking, for God’s sake. Forty-five minutes out of a diaper was hardly worth this risk, he belatedly realized. Thinking quickly, Doug reversed his direction and turned down an aisle, pushing his cart with urgency. He was halfway down the aisle, thinking he might actually make it past the registers and safely to his car, when Mrs. Warren suddenly appeared directly in front of him at the end of the aisle. How?..Doug froze in panic. Seeing him, she turned and strode toward him. Doug began to feel queasy. What would happen now? He was in an extremely vulnerable situation: he’d snuck out of the apartment without telling her, and he wasn’t wearing his diaper. He feared the worst, and Mrs. Warren wasn’t one to disappoint. “Well, Douggie, what a surprise it is to see you here,” she said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “I didn’t know you were headed out. Maybe we’ve forgotten some of our rules?” She paused, letting her eyes sweep over him in a quick, practiced assessment of his diaper status. Doug felt his body tense; he (correctly) surmised that she now knew that he was undiapered. He stared at her face, looking for any sign of this fact, but her expression didn’t change. “Well, Doug, I know it’s early in your ICP, and there are a lot of rules to remember, so why don’t we go easy on you here?” she said, with just a little too much sweetness in her voice for Doug’s taste. “We’ll just play the Wet Bet and leave it at that. Okay? If you win, no punishment for leaving home without telling me. But,” she smiled at him knowingly. “If you lose, you lose.” Doug's mind swirled. The Wet Bet. He’d read about it, he thought. But what was it? She read his mind. “I know you haven’t yet played this little game, so I’ll describe it for you. It’s very simple. I make a bet with you that you’re not wearing your diaper now. I know you’re a good little boy, so I’m sure I’m wrong, but you just need to prove it to me. “So I ask you to wet for me right now. You pee, and then we see who wins the bet. If you win, and you’re wearing your diaper, then you only end up with a wet diaper that we can change very easily. If I win, and you don’t have a diaper on, that fact will become very obvious very soon. In that case…” Her voice trailed off, indicating the undesirability of that outcome. “But either way, I have to insist you take the bet.” She went on, “Your only other option would be a particularly severe spanking right here in this aisle. Most of my boys don’t like their pants pulled down in public, so I don’t get to do that very often. They always take the bet.” She sort of smirked at him. “Well, what’ll it be? You wanna take the bet?” Now Doug was scared. She had him pinned against a wall, and she knew it. Wetting his pants in public versus a spanking in public. He’d had a spanking before, though, and decided that even public humiliation by wetting his pants be better than that. Anything would be better than a public spanking! He swallowed hard, as he realized he really had no choice. At least if he sucked it up and wet himself right now he’d avoid any other punishment. It would be humiliating, but it would be otherwise painless, and over very quickly. Then he could go right home and change. He stared at the floor and nodded. She smiled cruelly, though he didn’t see it. “That’s a good boy. Now, here’s how we’ll do it. I’ll turn around, and you can start peeing. Then you’ll tell me when you’re done, and we’ll try to figure out who won. If your pants are dry, I’ll need to see your diaper, of course, to make sure you didn’t cheat. That would earn you a spanking, too.” She smiled that fake smile again as she said, “Of course, I’m sure you wouldn’t cheat.” He nodded nervously. “Okay,” she said, turning away to pretend to look at some spaghetti. “Fire when ready.” Doug glanced nervously down the aisle both ways. Not seeing anyone, he tried to relax and empty his bladder. He felt a trickle come out, and then more, so he said, “Okay.” She said, “Okay, keep going. Ten seconds should be enough.” Doug grimaced. He felt his urine rush out now. He really had needed to go. That was unfortunate. He looked down and watched in horror as his crotch darkened quickly, and then he shuddered as he felt hot pee flowing down his legs, soaking his jeans. The insides of his pants legs turned dark blue, and he felt his socks get warm and wet before he saw his tennis shoes flood and then overflow. It would be unmistakable to anyone who saw him what had just happened. By the time he figured ten seconds was up, he was standing in soaking wet jeans, in a small puddle on the floor. In a weak voice, he said, “I’m done, um, Mommy.” (Maybe she wouldn’t make fun of him if he buttered her up.) He just wanted to go home and change his pants. They were already turning cold and uncomfortable. But when Mrs. Warren turned and saw Doug in wet pants, her expression changed to one of anger, something he’d not seen since that first morning last week. He watched her with growing apprehension as she opened her large purse and pulled out what he recognized as one of his diapers. How did she know to bring one, he thought idly. And what was it for? “Here,” she snapped. “You’ll need this.” She put the diaper in one of his hands and grabbed the other. She yanked on his arm, dragging him with her in the direction of the registers. He tried to follow, uncertain of what was happening, but acutely aware now of his wet, heavy pants. They were already starting to cool and feel uncomfortable. He hoped they were headed outside to the car, but his hopes sank as she led him up to the nearest register. Doug withered with embarrassment as moms and children turned and one by one saw him, wearing wet pants and holding a large diaper. “Could you tell me where the little boys’ room is?” Mrs. Warren inquired of the young lady at the register. She looked a little younger than he, and had surprisingly large breasts. Doug couldn’t help staring at her blond hair and beautiful face. Mrs. Warren was not similarly mesmerized: “I’ve got one who needs his pants changed.” The checkout girl’s eyes widened, and she nodded slowly. “Yes, he sure does. He seems a little big to be having accidents.” Mrs. Warren snorted with derision. “Well, he’s apparently not as big as he seems, is he?” The girl took a moment to study Doug’s stained jeans. “No, I guess not. Well, that’s what the diaper’s for, right? Too bad for him he wasn’t in one earlier,” she giggled, seeing Mrs. Warren’s obvious anger at Doug. Noting the determination on her face as well, she added, “I bet he’ll wear one from now on. But anyway, the restrooms are in the back corner of the store. You can change him there.” Doug could have died. He felt his face burn with embarrassment. Could this day get any worse? “Thank you,” he heard Mrs. Warren say. “And I’m afraid this little boy also left a puddle in Aisle #3. If you give me a minute to get him dressed a little more appropriately, I can have him back out to clean it up.” The girl nodded, staring hard at Doug’s pants, clearly trying not to laugh. “That’s fine, but you probably need to see the manager first. She likes to know about things like this, and she can get him a mop or something. Oh, by the way, if you need more diapers for him, we ARE having a sale on Attends down in Aisle 7.” “Thanks, but we’re very well stocked already. Trust me, we have to be. Now, where is your manager?” The girl pointed at the other front corner of the store, so Mrs. Warren led Doug across the entire front of the store. They passed dozens of people in line to check out, and most of them turned and saw him. Doug started to feel lightheaded. This was horrible. The manager was on the phone in the customer service area, so they had to wait a moment before talking to her. Mrs. Warren still had an iron grip on Doug’s wrist, and Doug instinctively struggled a little to get her to loosen her grip. At this Mrs. Warren wheeled around with fire in her eyes and swatted his bottom. Since it was damp and undiapered, this stung quite a bit, not to mention the added embarrassment it caused him. He was being treated like a two year old, and the worst thing was, with his wet pants and stinging bottom, he felt just like one, too. “Don’t you mess with me, young man,” Mrs. Warren said loudly, so that she caught the attention of anyone in nearby lines who wasn’t already staring. “You’ve already done enough.” “Evidently so,” said the manager, a stout stern-looking woman who had finished her phone conversation and was now studying Doug’s pants with a disapproving gaze. “Looks like you’re a little late with the diaper, young man.” Mrs. Warren turned her attention to her, but kept a firm grip on Doug’s aching wrist. “Yes, ma’am. I was going to ask you if I could use your restroom to change his pants anyway. Afterward, I was hoping that he could clean up the little puddle he left in Aisle #3.” “Of course,” the manager said. “I’ll leave a bucket and mop in the back hallway for when he’s a little more properly attired,” she said, smiling at the diaper in Doug’s hand. She pointed them to the rear of the store, and Doug was now dragged at what felt like breakneck speed back past all the registers with lines of people whispering, down a side aisle, and to the back corner of the store. They turned in a short hallway and found a door marked “Restroom: Men/Women.” Mrs. Warren tried the door, but it was locked. She knocked, and a female voice inside said, “Just a second!” So they waited. Doug nervously held his diaper and tried to ignore the now stone-cold wetness of his pants and the pain in his wrist. Mrs. Warren was silent, staring away from him. Doug wanted to know what would happen in that little room, but he didn’t dare bother her. He assumed they would change his diaper and then come out and clean up the mess. He wasn’t looking forward to it. He spent his time telling himself how dumb he’d been, how he’d never sneak out or not wear his diaper again. Finally, the door opened and a woman came out. She caught sight of Doug with wet pants and a diaper in his hand, and gasped. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize I was taking so long.” Mrs. Warren spoke up right away. “Ma’am, don’t blame yourself. This happened out there in the store because someone wasn’t wearing his diaper like a good boy. I just need the bathroom so I can remedy the situation.” Doug was finally so embarrassed that he totally tuned out what was happening. He pretended he was somewhere else, and ignored this humiliating experience. “Oh,” said the woman, with a knowing look at Mrs.Warren. “Do you think he’s learned his lesson yet?” “I don’t know,” Mrs. Warren replied, “but I’ll make sure, just as soon as I can get his pants down in there and turn him over my knee.” The woman nodded sympathetically. “Well, good luck. Don’t go easy on that wet bottom, or he’ll never learn.” “Don’t worry,” Mrs. Warren assured her. “He won’t forget this.” The woman left, and Mrs. Warren pulled a distracted Doug into the small bathroom. She whipped him around and closed and locked the door, then let go of him. While Doug rubbed his wrist, Mrs. Warren sat down on the closed toilet seat. Doug stood quietly and watched as Mrs. Warren pulled out of her large black purse what looked like a changing pad. He had to admit to himself that this woman was always prepared. She must have known that she’d catch him, and had come with everything she’d need to put a diaper on him, he thought. And if he was going to have to lay down on this bathroom’s floor to be changed, he was actually pleased at the prospect of using a changing pad. But she didn’t spread it out on the floor. He grew sort of confused as he watched her smooth it out on her lap. He’d never heard of being changed on someone’s lap, but it was a small bathroom, and he was new to this. When the pad seemed well-smoothed out, Mrs. Warren addressed him sharply. “Alright, little boy. Get those pants down around your ankles.” Doug said, “Yes, Mommy,” trying to stay on her good side. She didn’t seem to be getting any less angry, which worried him a bit. He obeyed quickly, telling himself this was obviously a necessary step before he could be diapered. “Come face me,” she said shortly. He shuffled over to her. How was this going to work? “Hand me the diaper now, Doug.” So he held it out to her with his left hand. She’ll clearly need that, he thought. “The other hand,” she said, annoyed. That’s odd, he thought, as he obediently switched the diaper to his right hand and held it out to her. Why should that make a difference? He found out very quickly. Mrs. Warren reached out with her left hand and took the diaper from his right, as she simultaneously reached across her body with her other hand to grasp his outstretched wrist. In a smooth, strong, and practiced motion, she yanked on his right arm, turning him, throwing him off balance, and directing his fall across her lap perfectly. In the space of two seconds Doug was surprised to find himself suddenly staring at the bathroom floor. He saw Mrs. Warren set the diaper aside, and it dawned on him that she had something else entirely on her mind. It became clearer why she wanted the changing pad on her lap… But this shouldn’t be happening, he thought. They’d had a deal. “Hey!” he yelled in frustration. “That’s not fair! I took the bet!” “And you lost, little boy. So you get a spanking. Don’t you remember your rules? By taking the bet you simply prevented this from happening out there in the aisle where you wet your pants. Would you rather we do this out in the store where everyone can see what a bad baby boy you’ve been?” Pause. SMACK! Oops. He’d thought it was a rhetorical question. “No.” SMACK! “No, what?” “No, Mommy. I’m sorry.” “That’s better. Now let’s have a little discussion about your behavior today. Why don’t you start by explaining to me what you’ve done wrong since the last time I saw you.” He hated her. She was going to draw this out and make it even more humiliating than it already was. But he wasn’t really in a position to argue. So he told the floor in front of him. “I, um, took off my diaper, Mommy.” “Yes, and what else?” “I, well, I went out without telling you.” “That’s right. And does that make you a good little boy or a bad little boy?” “Bad.” SMACK! “I’m a bad little boy, Mommy.” “That’s true. And what do little boys like you need when they’re bad?” “They need a spanking, Mommy.” “So what do you need right now, Doug?” “I need a spanking, Mommy.” He was embarrassed and angry. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d hear himself say something like that. “That’s also true. And how many spankings do you think you need?” Doug’s blood ran cold. What!? She ought to be kidding, but so far, Mrs. Warren hadn’t kidded around very much. “I think I’d like one spanking, Mommy,” Doug said hopefully. SMACK! SMACK! Guess not, he thought. Damn. “I need two spankings, Mommy,” he said, aware that he’d begun to whimper a little. This was worse than he could have imagined. If that spanking last week was “one,” what must “two” be like? “That’s right, Doug. You need two spankings because you broke two different rules today. For my convenience, I’m just going to combine them into one long spanking, though. Now, just as a reminder, after our spanking, do we get to rub our bottom with our hands?” “No, Mommy.” Shit. He’d forgotten about that. “Why not?” Mrs. Warren asked with a little sadistic glee. “So it will hurt more,” Doug answered obediently. This was so horrible. And worse, his appreciation grew for the fact that he could never, ever tell anyone what he’d been through. It was too embarrassing almost to think about. No one would believe him. How would he get his real life back? “That’s a good boy. I know you can’t hold on to chair legs here, so just keep your hands down and out of the way. Any questions?” Yeah, he thought. What did I ever do to deserve this? To her, he managed a weak, “No, Mommy.” And his bottom tingled with expectation as he remembered vividly the pain from last week. He cursed himself again for having tried such an unnecessary prank. Never again, he promised himself as the spanking began. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! The pain was unbearable right from the beginning, and the knowledge that it would not soon stop and the humiliation and stress he’d already endured caused Doug to start crying almost immediately. Unfortunately, Mrs. Warren actually seemed annoyed by this, and she redoubled her efforts to paddle his bottom. He sobbed, and she spanked mercilessly, until they were both out of breath. Doug was grateful when she stopped, though it turned out it was only to remove a small, flat, hairbrush from her purse. This, he realized, would be the second spanking. His bottom was sort of numb from the first one, but he was startled to realize how much more painful it was than her bare hands. He cried all the way through. When it had lasted longer than Doug thought possible, Mrs. Warren stopped and stood him up. Tears streaming down his face, Doug’s hands immediately and instinctively made their way to his red, hot bottom. He rubbed it as he cried, trying to overwhelm the searing pain that still raged through his rear end. Mrs. Warren reached over, grabbed one of his arms, now limp as spaghetti from his ordeal, swung him around and swatted him several times again. “No touching, little boy,” she fumed. “Do it again and we can start over from the beginning.” Doug fought through his tears to find the energy to say “Yes, Mommy,” and to obey. He managed to hold his arms stiffly down at his sides. All he could think about was how much his bottom hurt, how miserable he was, and how much he hated Mrs. Warren. He was oblivious to Mrs. Warren as she now spread out the changing pad on the floor and laid his diaper out on top of it. She gently guided him down to it, positioned his abused bottom over the back of the diaper and had him lie down. He allowed her to lift his legs, rub some lotion on his hot skin, and sprinkle him with a generous amount of powder before lowering his legs, pulling the diaper through, and taping him up tightly. He was beginning to stop crying as she stood him up. He had no energy to resist her as she did something intended to embarrass him even further once they left this room: she tucked his shirt deep inside his diaper, and pulled the diaper’s waist up as high as it would go. When she pulled his still-wet pants back up and buckled them, about two inches of diaper were clearly visible above his jeans. Doug didn’t even notice. Mrs. Warren folded up her changing pad and put it away, stowed the hairbrush, then brushed off her strong hands. That had been exhilarating and, as always, excellent exercise. But she wasn’t done with Doug today. Doug was close to getting his sniffles under control as Mrs. Warren unlocked and opened the door. Several employees who had apparently been hovering just outside, entertained by the sound of Doug’s spanking, dispersed rapidly. Doug stepped out into the service hallway and was acutely aware of how his diaper insulated his still-hot bottom, so that the heat amplified the continued pain he felt. His legs, on the other hand, were ice-cold and wet from his soaked jeans. He felt completely miserable. But he had another embarrassing ordeal to withstand, if he didn’t want another spanking, so Doug dutifully took the mop and bucket he saw waiting in the hall, and slowly wheeled them toward Aisle #3, where a small “SLIPPERY WHEN WET” sign had been placed near the puddle he’d made not half an hour ago. People he passed whispered and stared, but Doug almost didn’t care now. He tried to shut out the outside world, though his inside world wasn’t any more comforting. Mrs. Warren followed at a short distance, keeping a watchful eye on her charge, but he was behaving well. It was then that she knew that while he obviously had an enjoyable little rebellious streak in him, he also would probably end up being one of her best clients. He had a little fight in him, to make it fun, but he also had some common sense, too, and knew when to quit. Doug mopped quietly. The first time he looked down, he caught sight of the diaper protruding so blatantly from his pants, and it didn’t take much to realize that it had been done on purpose. He glanced at Mrs. Warren, who had observed his discovery, and she smiled at him slightly. He took a deep breath and kept mopping. There was simply nothing he could do about it. His bottom hurt more than enough already. When he’d finished and returned the mop and bucket to the back hallway, Mrs. Warren guided him back to the manager’s office. On the way she told him what she wanted him to say. “Ma’am,” Doug started politely, when the manager came over with an amused smile on her face, “I just wanted to apologize for wetting myself here in your store, and for making that puddle over there. I, um, cleaned it all up. I, um, just wanted to say I’m sorry.” “That’s good,” the manager observed. “I heard quite a racket back there in that bathroom where you two were. Do you think you learned a lesson?” Doug coughed with embarrassment, and looked toward Mrs.Warren, who returned his glance with a questioning look. “Uh, yes, ma’am,” he said, finding it hard to meet her eyes. “I, um, promise it will never happen again.” He was sure of this. “And how can I be sure of that?” the manager inquired. “Well,” said Doug, “I’m wearing a, um, well, a…diaper now.” “Oh, yes, I see,” she replied, pretending to notice for the first time. “Not quite ready for big boy pants, are we?” she said, as if to a three-year-old. This was so degrading, being treated like this. But he had no choice but to humor these women. But he still couldn’t look her in the eye, mumbling, “Uh, no, ma’am, I guess not.” He noticed Mrs. Warren giving him a meaningful glance. “Oh, and I wanted to ask you if I might be allowed to finish grocery shopping now,” he remembered to ask. “I guess that would be alright,” the manager said, looking to Mrs. Warren, who was nodding at her, for her answer, the way strangers will often do with a child and his parent. “As long as your Mommy thinks you’ve learned a lesson, and are wearing a diaper like a good little boy.” “Yes, ma’am,” Doug murmured, his bottom and face burning from the spanking and the embarrassment. “And may I please have permission to shop here in the future?” “Hmmm,” the manager said thoughtfully. “Yes, you may, if you come wearing a diaper which is at all times visible, such as you’re wearing now, so that my employees and I can tell the big boys from the little ones like you.” She seemed to decide something. “Also, I’d like for you to check in here when you first get here so that I can tell an employee to keep an eye on you. Any puddles, misbehavior, or even so much as a wet spot on your jeans will be dealt with very harshly, young man. My children will tell you that I can warm a fanny with the best of them.” She smiled warmly at Mrs. Warren, who smiled back appreciatively. “And one more thing. I want you to bring a spare diaper with you, in case there is a leakage problem. I can find one of my staff to change you, or I can certainly do it myself. Okay?” Doug nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” “That’s a good boy,” the manager said, and winked at Mrs. Warren, who was deeply impressed. She’d actually never been to this store or met this woman before, but this stranger seemed to have a natural understanding for what was going on. Mrs. Warren began to think more of her boys would shop here in the future. What a pleasant surprise. Doug resumed shopping grimly. The rest of the trip was excruciating, and dreadfully slow, so he had time to consider what had just happened. He’d just set himself up for weekly humiliation and public embarrassment, and had thanked the lady for it. The manager’s attitude had shocked and disappointed Doug as much as it had pleased and surprised Mrs. Warren, and he was now questioning whether everyone would approve of how he was being treated if they knew about his situation. It was weird that one of these people didn’t object to his being spanked and diapered. (Doug had no way of knowing that he’d simply had the misfortune of encountering another relatively unusual woman; his ignorance made him begin to wonder whether there was more of this kind of thing going on than he had previously been aware of. Any uncertainty about this on Doug’s part simply made Mrs. Warren’s job easier, so she would have been pleased.) Well, he thought, thank goodness for the fact that this store is out of the way. He’d never seen any of his friends shopping here, and that was the only aspect of today’s experience he was happy about. One thing was for sure, he knew. He wasn’t soon going to try to disobey Mrs. Warren again. His bottom throbbed with the heat and pain from his spanking, and the various glances of curiosity and disgust from the other shoppers continued to drive home how misguided this attempt at rebellion had been. Well, he was reformed now, out of necessity more than desire, and he was going to be a good little boy for as long as he could help it, no matter how embarrassing it would be. Embarrassment was better than embarrassment and pain. He would do anything to avoid living through another day like today. Which was exactly what Mrs. Warren wanted, of course. And she had been doing this long enough to recognize the determined look that now shone in Doug’s eye. She smiled. This had been a successful outing today, and one that would probably carry her new client through several good weeks of what she considered diaper-training for the future. The next thing she’d probably have to deal with from Doug were his hormones. She smiled. Mrs. Warren could handle that, too. She loved her job. Chapter 8 Doug packed his diaper bag Sunday night for his return to work without objection. His bottom and ego still hurt from the day’s events, and he was in no mood to put up a fuss. Still, he was more than a little uneasy about the following day, when he would head to work while wearing his diaper and carrying his pink diaper bag. He was worried about people at the lab finding out, since the job and the graduate program to which he expected it to lead seemed to be all he was living for now that the rest of his normal life had been taken away. So while he obediently placed three fresh diapers, powder, baby wipes, and lotion into his bag, his mind was racing for ways to make himself less conspicuous. Some ideas were obvious. He’d decided that, starting tomorrow, he’d go in earlier and leave later. That way he could get to and from his lab unseen and wouldn’t have to answer questions about his bulging, waddling, rustling, or his babyish bag. Appearing to work harder wouldn’t hurt his admission prospects, either. In some ways he was very lucky to have the job he had: working alone, being able to wear what he wanted and essentially to decide what hours he’d work. He had some lab meetings to attend each week, but not many. These features were excellent, since he now wanted to avoid other people as much as possible and needed to wear something practical. He had bulky pants and a long sweatshirt that might work. Good thing winter’s coming, he thought. It would be way harder to wear the kind of bulky clothing that was necessary if it were hot. It was the prospect of diaper changes that really made him anxious. His floor in the lab building had one unisex bathroom in one of the more public areas. It wasn’t uncommon to see lots of people on his way there or back, or for there to be a line. He couldn’t carry the diaper bag, or, even worse, a diaper and some wipes, into the bathroom! It hadn’t been until after Mrs. Warren left Sunday night that Doug struck on the idea of plastic grocery bags in which to carry clean diaper down and dirty diapers back. If it was around lunchtime when he went, he could even say he was just stopping off on the way to lunch. He felt much better after he pre-bagged his diaper changes for tomorrow. With any luck, he might be able to get away with this without anyone finding out. Monday morning Doug woke up, dry as usual, and tried to get ready as normally would any other morning, except that this morning he had to wet himself intentionally before his shower, and rediaper himself afterward. He left his apartment early, and indeed got to his lab early as well, before anyone else had arrived. Relieved, he tucked his telltale bag safely into an unused lab cupboard and got to work. He was very conscious of how often he wet himself, as leaks might be horribly embarrassing, and so he checked his diaper several times before deciding at 10:30am that he’d better try to change himself. So he put his clandestine operation into action and was thrilled when it seemed to go off without a hitch. No one really seemed to notice. From there the rest of the day was easier. He had to change himself once more, in mid-afternoon, and he waited until the halls were relatively deserted before waddling home. All in all, the day had been much simpler than he could have hoped for. And the next several days went well also, in that he seemed to manage to keep his forced infantilization a secret from his coworkers. Mrs. Warren dropped by every day or so “to say hi.” Wednesday night she commented that she’d been told that Doug was being a good boy at work, and that she was glad to hear it. Doug’s heart stopped. Mrs. Warren had an informant at work! Someone in his last bastion of normality knew about him. He didn’t say anything to Mrs. Warren (sitting down was only now becoming painless), but his mind once again raced, as he tried to pinpoint who his informant could possibly be. He should have known he’d be spied upon. But now he worried that the informance might tell others. Everyone might already know by now! But he couldn’t ask, because that would give it away. He was forced to watch everyone on Thursday, looking for clues that they might be on to him. But if anyone knew, they were quiet about it. No one appeared to watch him or react any differently than in the past. Thursday night, as he was sneaking home after he’d thought everyone had left, he turned a corner and ran right into his lab director, Dr. Stillman, a tall, strikingly beautiful woman in her late thirties, with long brown hair and deep brown eyes. She was also, not coincidentally, the admissions director for the doctoral program Doug hoped to enter next fall. “Ah…Doug, isn’t it?” she asked crisply as she sized him up in front of her. Doug tried to hide his bag behind his legs. “Keeping late hours, are we? Well, that can’t hurt. It’s nice to see someone working so hard for a change.” At this, she sort of chuckled to herself, and kept walking. Doug stood in the hall after she’d left and tried to figure out what she’d meant by that. It had seemed like a compliment, and yet she’d laughed. She always intimidated Doug, to some degree because he found her extremely attractive. Now, though, in his paranoid mood, he found himself wondering if his boss might actually be the informant: “working hard for a change,” she’d said. Maybe this had meant something else from what he’d thought. (This would worry Doug for a long time, and perhaps never be satisfactorily settled for him, since she never made any other similar comments and he knew he couldn’t exactly ask her directly.) Other than this incident, the rest of the week was uneventful, and Doug finished his second week of diaperhood smoothly. He was as obedient as he could be, and tried to wet and soil his diaper conscientiously. He settled into a predictable pattern of changing himself in the late morning and midafternoon, and he found that as long as he remembered to do that, he didn’t need to think about when exactly he wet himself. That seemed convenient to Doug, though he would discover later that it was yet another piece in the puzzle of his undoing. On Sunday Doug reluctantly and self-consciously waddled into the grocery story, scene of last week’s humiliation, spare diaper in hand. The diaper he wore was necessarily pulled up outside his shirt for the world to see. He wished desperately that he didn’t have to do this, but he knew he did. He tried to stare straight ahead and to ignore the stares of shoppers, and fervently hoped that no one he knew saw him like this. He walked over to the manager’s office and knocked on the door. “Well, look who’s back,” the manager observed when she saw Doug. “And you remembered how I want you to dress as well; that’s a good start. What’s your name, young man?” “Doug,” he replied, not wanting to get any more detailed than that. Luckily, it seemed as though that’s all she wanted. “Well, I’m Mrs. Johnson, Doug,” she said. “As you recall, I told you I’d have one of my employees look after you while you’re here. Let’s see who’s available.” She yelled over to the pretty young cashier who had laughed at Doug the previous week. “Emily, have you had your break?” The young girl nodded. “Just came off it. Sandy has my register.” Emily walked over, obviously staring at Doug’s visible diaper as she approached. “Good,” Mrs. Johnson said. “This is Doug. Perhaps you remember him from last Sunday: he wet his pants in Aisle 3.” “Of course I remember,” she said, giggling. Doug blushed. It had to be this girl. “Well, this week he’s more suitably dressed, as you can see. But I’d still like for you to babysit him while he shops. Follow him and supervise his behavior. If there is any misbehavior at all, you are to tell me immediately, and you or I will take care of it.” “What do you mean?” Emily asked Mrs. Johnson, looking at Doug with amusement. “I mean that if he needs it, one of us will give him a spanking back in the stockroom. He got one last week, and it seemed to work well.” Doug’s head pounded with embarrassment. Doug saw that Emily was having trouble controlling her laughter. Mrs. Johnson, however, ignored her. “Now, Doug, can you tell when you’ve wet or messed in your diaper?” she asked. Doug frowned. Of course he could, but why did she have to bring that up now, other than to embarrass him? But he had to answer. “Uh, yes, ma’am,” he answered with a very shy glance toward Emily. “Good. I expect you to tell Emily if it happens so she can change you. Emily, you can use the stockroom for that as well; just ask me for the key. And check his diaper several times each visit while he shops, just to make sure: we don’t want a scene like last week because of overflow. If he’s wet or dirty and didn’t tell you first, bring him back here. He’ll need a spanking for that, too, if we think it was intentional.” She turned away from them. “That’s all. You two come back here when you’re done shopping. Be good,” she added, presumably for Doug’s benefit. They turned away and headed toward the rows of empty carts. “Did you really get a spanking last week?” Emily asked him immediately. Doug hung his head. “Yes,” he said quietly, hoping she would drop the subject. He picked a cart and they headed for the produce section. “How come?” Doug stopped and looked at her. She was half smiling, obviously amused at the idea of his being spanked like a bad little boy. Her blue eyes sparkled, and Doug found himself staring into them for a moment, briefly bewitched by her young beauty. Then he shook himself. She was probably eighteen or nineteen at the most, several years younger than he. He thought that was not appropriate. And besides that, she knew he was wearing a diaper. Even if she were of a proper age for him, he wouldn’t have stood a chance with that humiliation. “I’d rather not talk about it,” he said, finally, and turned to look through a bin of apples. But she was insistent. “No, really. Why?” When Doug didn’t speak, she said, “You wouldn’t want me to give my manager a bad report, would you?” Doug turned back to her, fear suddenly in his eyes. “You wouldn’t do that, would you?” “Maybe, maybe not,” she said coyly, her eyes twinkling. “I’m the babysitter. You’d better behave.” Just what he needed, Doug thought. A teenager on a power trip. “Look,” he said. “It’s really embarrassing.” Perhaps he could play on her sympathy… And there was silence for a moment. So she does have a heart, Doug thought. Thank goodness. But then, “Was it because you wet your pants?” She asked it simply, apparently not to tease him, and without malice. She just didn’t seem to recognize his discomfort. She only seemed very curious and slightly amused. The question was, why was she so curious? She ought to be grossed out. Could she actually be turned on by this? He’d always dreamed of meeting a female who could share and participate in his diaper-wearing. “`Cause my little brother, Joey, got spanked every time he wet his pants,” she went on. “Oh, really?” Doug replied with disappointment, now irritated that he should be thought of in the same vein as her stupid little pants-wetting brother. Well, now he knew how she thought of him. He should have known; that would teach him to get his hopes up. He moved on, collecting his groceries. “Yeah, he’s twelve now, and it doesn’t happen anymore,” Emily told im. “But he used to do it a lot, and Mom would spank him for it. Probably couldn’t help it, I guess.” She followed him in silence for a couple of steps. “So do you still wet your pants a lot?” she asked. “No,” Doug answered with more annoyance. As pretty as she was, she was turning out to be a pest. If she wasn’t interested in him, then she was just being cruel, he decided. “But you did last week, and that’s why your mom spanked you, right?” Once more Doug stopped to glare at her. “Look, she’s not my mom, okay? Please just drop it.” “She’s not?” Emily asked, wrinkling her brow. “Who is she then?” Oh, crap, he thought. I can’t go there. We can’t get into this. He shook his head. “It’s really complicated.” They were now passing the back corner of the store and the hallway with the bathroom where Doug had been soundly spanked the week before. This distracted Emily from her interrogation, and she remembered one of her duties. “We should check your diaper!” she chirped happily, tugging at Doug’s sleeve. Reluctantly he left his half-full cart and followed her into the hallway, where they couldn’t be seen by other shoppers. “Okay, pull down your pants,” Emily said, obviously trying to sound mature. However, her enthusiasm and amusement shone through her facade of professionalism. “Look, you really don’t need to do this. I know for a fact that it’s dry,” Doug offered hopefully. She put her hands on her hips indignantly. “I’m the babysitter, not you. You’re just the baby. And I want you to pull down your pants so I can see your diaper.” Doug still hesitated. She was so young to be ordering him around. “Do it now,” she said sharply. Doug knew that in this situation, as in many others, he didn’t have much choice. He didn’t know whether or not she’d really make good on the threat to spank him, but he didn’t want to find out. So he unbuckled and unzipped his jeans and self-consciously lowered them to the floor. “Awwwww…that’s a good boy,” Emily said, in a babyish tone. She laughed at her own efforts at humor. Doug blushed again, not finding it quite as funny as she apparently did. Emily leaned over and inspected the little indicator stripe, which indeed verified Doug’s assertion of dryness. Despite his embarrassment, Doug felt an erection start to build inside his diaper. It had been a difficult 2 weeks since he had come, and it didn’t take much to get him hard. For the first time Doug was thankful for the extreme thickness of his diaper, which probably prevented her from noticing. Suddenly she surprised him by reaching out and grabbing the rear of his diaper, squeezing and massaging it gently. She then did the same to the front. Doug was so shocked he didn’t know what to do. What if she felt his erection? “Just making sure,” she explained to him as she straightened up again. But she said it with a smile that told Doug for the first time that maybe she was actually interested as much in what was inside his diaper as in its state of wetness. So what was she “making sure” of? Whether he was wet, or whether he was hard? he wondered. Or had he just imagined that little supposed flirtation? To Doug’s frustration, since he wanted some clarity, Emily didn’t let on one way or another. “Okay, that’s good. You can pull 'em up. We’ll check again later.” She’s apparently a very professional tease, he thought, reassessing his baby-sitter. If she really liked him and had just made a little move on him, she wasn’t letting on to it now. But why would she tease him? he argued to himself as they returned to shopping. Could she possibly know about his ICP’s prohibition of sex, and was she therefore being purposefully cruel? No, he thought, that’s impossible. His heart quickened. I think she really likes me, he thought excitedly. And she’s actually turned on by my diapers! Oh my God, he thought, unable to comprehend the ramifications of actually having found someone who was turned on by infantilism in general, and his infantilism in specific. He’d dreamed his whole life… His musing was cut short as Emily was back on the attack. “So if you don’t wet a lot, then why do you have to wear diapers?” Doug didn’t answer. He couldn’t think of anything other than the truth that would be believable. Emily didn’t seem to mind his silence. She kept on jabbering. “My brother never had to wear diapers for wetting his pants. Well, I mean, after he was about four. He kept right on wetting his pants and his bed, and Mom started spanking him for it. She said he was old enough to know better. And Joey would cry, but then he’d keep on wetting. Maybe he should have been put back in diapers, like you…” She trailed off, apparently lost in thought. And then: “Did it hurt?” Doug was lost. He had been picking out some laundry detergent. “Did what hurt?” “Your spanking. Did it hurt?” “Yes,” Doug admitted quietly. His inhibitions had dropped slightly since he’d determined that she really did like him. In a relationship as potentially important as this one might be, he could maybe afford to open up a little. “I bet it did,” Emily said enthusiastically. “Did you cry?” Whoops. Too far, a little voice in Doug’s head told him. He thought he could possibly talk about some of this, was dying to get some of it off his chest, and was thrilled someone like Emily existed. But he was deeply embarrassed about some aspects of it, and this was one of them. “Emily, I’m kind of upset about the whole thing, okay? Can we please not talk about this stuff anymore?” Emily nodded, and was silent as they made their way toward the dairy products. Then she couldn’t resist asking just one more question. “Do you have a girlfriend?” Doug stopped and stared at her. So much for subtlety, maturity, and professionalism. “No,” he said simply. “Oh,” she replied. “I’m in college. Are you in college?” “Not any more,” he told her. Whew, he thought. At least she isn’t a minor. He finished shopping. When Doug was just about ready to check out, Emily said, “Time for another check.” He immediately tensed up. Here we go again, he thought. I was so close to getting out of here. They walked back to the rear hallway, Doug’s anxiety and erection simultaneously rising. What would happen this time? Would it…COULD it…lead to anything? He found himself both hoping that something sexual would happen and scared that it might. He’d always dreamed of involving his diapers in a sexual relationship, and this girl was so beautiful! It was better than he could have hoped for! But then there was the omniscient, omnipotent Mrs. Warren, who had expressly prohibited any sexual activity. Emily, however, was the boss here! If anything happened, it wasn’t his fault, right? He was torn and confused as she again asked him to pull down his pants. Now he was also scared of being discovered: his erection felt huge. He wondered if even his thick diaper could insulate it from her touch. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. Doug held his breath tensely as Emily, smiling, reached out and caressed his diaper, first in the back, and then, more extensively, in the front. She got a funny look on her face, as if she was considering something. Doug thought he heard her laugh quietly. He was about to say something, anything, to ease the tension, when she abruptly stopped, stood, and pronounced him dry. Doug let out his breath. Emily had him pull up his pants, and they went back up front, where Doug paid for his groceries. Then they stopped by Mrs. Johnson’s office. “And were you a good boy today, Doug?” she asked him, though she clearly meant the question for Emily. Doug was pointedly ignored, and he felt like he was three years old, which he noted was becoming a common occurrence. Emily nodded. “Yes, ma’am. He did as he was told. I checked him twice, and he was dry and clean both times.” “Good for him. Okay, Doug, we’ll see you back next week. Same deal. Thanks, Emily, you can get back to your register,” she added before turning away. “No problem. No problem at all. G’bye, Doug,” Emily said. She flashed him a meaningful smile. “I’ll see you next week.” At this, she laughed hysterically and walked away. “G’bye, Emily,” Doug said to her back, and sighed as she walked away. She definitely turned him on, even if she was criminally nosy. The boys at her school must drool over her, he thought. He took his groceries to his car, and spent the rest of the day trying to decide how her obvious fondling of him had been meant. Her parting comment, too, was an obvious reference to the activities she seemed to be planning for next week. He was already worried about it, but couldn’t help[ but be excited as well. He had a lot to think about this week. Who knew what his next shopping trip would bring? Chapter 9 Week three brought more of the same to Doug, who had definitely given up trying to fight his “ICP” for the time being. It was annoying as hell to deal with the diapers, but his life hadn’t ended yet, either. No one seemed to know yet, outside of Mrs. Warren, the grocery story women, and the mystery informant at work. His role was pretty easy, actually: just use his diapers mindlessly and change them several times a day. And it wasn’t that inconvenient, except for the messy diapers. Otherwise, it was nice not to have to go all the way to the toilet to relieve himself. Now, if he felt ever the slightest twinge in his bladder, he just relaxed a little, and it went away. He was determined to enjoy the few perks to this setup. He had his BM’s pretty well regulated to the evenings when he was in the privacy of his apartment, and though he hated having to sit in them first, he usually showered immediately after that, so all in all cleanup wasn’t that difficult either. But he disliked the bulk of his diapers, and having to walk funny (though he noticed this less and less). One thing he was definitely more aware of was always having to think about his diapers in public. Were they visible? Could people tell? When other people were around he always had to think about whether he could move safely without being heard. He learned to carry his keys around and jingle them loudly if it was quiet enough that someone might hear his plastic crinkling. He was paranoid, but so far he still didn’t have any evidence that people suspected. The shaving was becoming old hat as well. At first it had been very itchy; now it was better. He shaved his groin daily and his bottom every other day, since it was more difficult. While it was humiliating to “have” to do it, he ended up being happy he’d done it every time he had a messy diaper. He did laundry once a week, and only after Mrs. Warren had looked through his clothes and sheets. He received several more huge packages of disposable diapers each week, and slowly worked his way through them, turning in smelly trash bags full of old ones. He had started paying for his diapers after the first week, which sort of made him mad. Sure, it was a reasonable price for what he got, but he didn’t want what he got. Still, everything that third week went smoothly, and everything seemed to be getting easier and slightly more tolerable. Except. Except it had now been three weeks since he’d had an orgasm. An all-time record since his early teens. As the days had dragged on, he’d thought about it more and more, until by now almost every waking moment (and many of his dreams, too) were spent thinking about sex. In the past, dreams and fantasies had focused on two different themes: “normal” heterosexual intercourse and his secret diaper fantasies, which often involved, ironically, being forced into diapers by an older woman. Now, presumably because of his present situation, these two separate topics seemed hopelessly muddled in his mind. If he had regular sex with a woman, she first had to take his diapers off. He never “fantasized” about being forced into anything anymore, but Mrs. Warren inexplicably showed up in several of his sex dreams. He tried to focus all of this energy productively, which for Doug meant trying to figure out a way to sneak in some masturbation, unknown to Mrs. Warren. He would have thought about actual sex with somebody, but the question was, with whom? He didn’t really like the idea of anonymous sex, and who would want to get into a relationship with somebody still in diapers? Emily inevitably kept creeping into his mind, but he shook the thought away. He didn’t want to think about what kind of punishment that might lead to. Masturbation was simply much safer and easier logistically. Even so, he was extremely paranoid that Mrs. Warren would find out somehow (and with good reason!), so his scheme had to be brilliant. He knew she had an informant at work, so he couldn’t just do it in the bathroom there, where he’d either have to flush the evidence (suspicious to an informed observer, because why would a diapered boy need to flush?) or throw it away somewhere, and Doug felt sure that Mrs. Warren would find any evidence he left. Doug’s first instinct, of course, was to whack off into his diaper, since he always found that most satisfying. But since his diapers were inspected specifically for this, Doug had to force himself to forego this pleasure. There was that chemical thing in the drains, and laundry was, of course, checked beforehand, which ruled out a lot of options at home. He decided he had to think of some way to smuggle home some paper products, hide them, use them, and then think of a foolproof disposal method. It was during this third week that he finally figured it out. He thought it through, over and over, and carefully considered every angle, but couldn’t find a flaw. On Friday, then, after his afternoon change at work, Doug wadded up two small balls of toilet paper and stuffed them in the toes of his shoes, which made them uncomfortable, but not too bad. At least they still fit. It was perfect! No one, not even Mrs. Warren, would think of looking there, and if she did, he could simply say that the paper was there for comfort purposes, because his shoes were too big. It was nearly plausible as an emergency plan, but he was sure he would not need to use it. After he wore home the toilet paper, he found the other tools necessary for his plan: a half-full cereal box, and an empty Coke can. He would store the toilet paper in the bottom of the cereal box until he needed it, then stuff it inside the empty Coke can for disposal. It was brilliant. Now he was finally ready. And it was wonderful. It (not surprisingly) didn’t take long, and he had a lot of difficulty keeping himself quiet (just in case). Three weeks of near-constant excitement were released in a cataclysmic but all-too-brief orgasm, the evidence of which he was careful to contain entirely within the toilet paper and cram into the soda can. He peered inside and was thrilled when he couldn’t see the contents of the can at all. It couldn’t have been more perfect. He put the can in the trash amid leftover spaghetti with sauce, just to make examination of the can that much less convenient. And that night he slept very well indeed. The weekend went well, too. Sunday, when he returned with trepidation to the grocery store, he was both relieved and disappointed to learn that Emily was home, apparently sick, so she couldn’t babysit him today. Instead, Doug was followed around by a homely, quiet girl who gave him weird looks but didn’t bother him at all. Twice, she’d gone as far as to ask him if he needed to be changed, but when he’d answered no both times, she’d said okay and dropped the subject. The next week came and went without so much as a peep from Mrs. Warren, even after the trash was hauled away. Doug was overjoyed. He’d done it! He’d outsmarted her, and had accomplished this task in the most important of situations. This, of course, meant that he could do it again, and again, probably, though he didn’t want to push his luck. Every week or two would have to be enough, though he wanted far more. But the consequences of being found out were too dire. Not only would he get another fearsome spanking, he thought, but he’d lose this, one of maybe two bright spots in his current life. He desperately needed this system for his release, so he had to be very careful. And with any luck, it was now finally conceivable to him that he could actually complete this hellish six months of babyhood. It was now Friday of the fourth week, and Doug had thus completed a month of his ICP. Not much was happening around the lab, so Doug took the opportunity to walk home for a leisurely lunch in the privacy of his apartment, where a diaper change was less of a hassle. A month! he thought as he walked home. It seemed impossible that he’d spent a whole month as a baby, but it was true. He hadn’t been out of a diaper for more than fifteen minutes at all, and hadn’t used a toilet the whole time. He wasn’t enjoying it, certainly, but he was getting used to it a little. He was definitely still enjoying the convenience diapers offered. He hardly thought about when he peed these days: as much trouble as cleanup was, he loved not worrying about holding it in until he got to a bathroom. He didn’t think that carefully about it, because it didn’t seem important to him, but if he had, he would have noticed that he still had to consciously relax his bladder and bowels to empty them. But he was doing it far more often and instinctively. There were lots of things he still didn’t like, however. He hated limiting himself to one orgasm a week, but he wanted to be very conservative about that, especially at first. He had a good system, but he knew that Mrs. Warren was smart, and if he blew it he might never figure out another feasible system. It was too precious. Most of all, however, he hated subjugating himself to Mrs. Warren, acting like a two-year-old around her. He was still very self-conscious about having to call her “Mommy,” and it galled him to have to walk on eggshells around to show her how obedient he was. The only thing that kept him doing it was the knowledge that if he didn’t, he’d get something which pleased him even less: a spanking. And so, even though he was constantly humiliated by the fact that he really was literally trying to be a good little boy to avoid a spanking from his Mommy, it was worth it to him to do so. Doug continued to be frustrated by not figuring a way out of this mess. It was beginning to look more and more like he’d have to ride the thing out for the full duration of the six months. This failure was in itself embarrassing , but he was beginning to see the wisdom in not fighting Mrs. Warren. These last few weeks had been degrading, of course, but nothing like his experience with the wet bet that day. And without a spanking since then, the time had passed more quickly, too. If he could just ride this out for another five months and stay on Mrs. Warren’s good side, which meant being a good boy, he could count on resuming his normal life in April without so much as a single spanking before that. This plan, because of its relative ease and safety, was becoming more and more attractive to him. With his secret masturbation scheme in place, he could almost imagine making it that long. His musings ended as he arrived home and started to make his lunch. His diaper was soaked (he’d made it through the morning without a change) but he was hungry, so he put off changing himself until after lunch. He had just finished making a sandwich when he was surprised by the sound of a key in the lock of his front door. Mrs. Warren! he thought. Was he in trouble? She didn’t ordinarily visit him during work days, even when he was home for lunch. “Doug?” he heard her call from the hall. “Yes, Mommy?” he answered, gritting his teeth slightly at the humiliation of having to call her that. “We need to talk,” Mrs. Warren told him as she entered his living room, with him following closely behind. “I called your machine,” Doug said defensively, hoping to head off any problems. “I told you I was coming home for lunch.” “Oh, yes, that was a good boy,” Mrs. Warren said, sitting down and putting her keys in her big black purse, which seemed to be more full than usual. “That’s how I knew to find you here. No, that’s not what this is about.” “Was I bad?” Doug asked worriedly. After he’d just considered how lucky he was for not having been spanked recently, this seemed a big disappointment. Could she know about his secret? But surely she’d appear much angrier if she knew… “Well, no, I don’t think so,” she replied, “unless you purposefully turned in too few messy diapers last week.” “No, I…I…” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to; are you sure?” His mind raced. What was the punishment for that? “Yes, I’m sure,” she said sharply. “And don’t question me again. My inspectors told me about it this morning after analyzing your diapers from last week. You only turned in seven messy diapers when you were supposed to turn in nine.” “Oh,” Doug said. He’d thought he’d done okay last week. The big question was: did he get a spanking for that? “I…don’t know what happened. I’m really sorry,” he started. “Well, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. Your total number of diapers was fine, so we know you were good about using your diapers. So you don’t need a spanking,” she reassured him. “But I am worried that you seem to be slightly constipated. Do you know why I’d care about that?” “No, Mommy,” Doug said, though he was thinking, because you’re intrusive and perverted. “Well, constipation is actually a cause of a special kind of incontinence called overflow incontinence.' So we always have to make sure our clients stay very regular. That's why we have the messy diaper quota, you know." "Oh," he said to be polite. He wasn't constipated, and he wasn't really interested. Seven dirty diapers was pretty regular, for goodness sake. "And that's why any time you turn in too few messy diapers, as you did, we want to make sure it doesn't become a problem." Whatever, Doug thought. What the hell was the point of this? He wasn't constipated, though he *was* very hungry by now. He needed to move her along so he could eat and get back to lunch. "Okay, well, I'll try to pay more attention this week," he said, hoping that that was what she was looking for. It wasn't. "Not so fast, little guy," Mrs. Warren said, smiling. "You obviously don't remember your rule list. We need to spend the next day or so making sure you aren't at all, shall we say, plugged up.’” Doug didn’t like the sound of that. “I call it Bowel Encouragement. Does that ring any bells?” Doug shook his head, beginning to dread the answer. He hoped it wasn’t diaper juice. “Well, we just help you along a little by putting something in your bottom every so often for a day. It’s guaranteed to work.” Well, out of everything that could be happening, that didn’t sound too bad. Still, he wasn’t sure he could trust Mrs. Warren. “Does it hurt?” “No, not really,” she replied. “Let’s go get you started. Have you had a bowel movement today?” “No, Mommy,” Doug answered. He had himself on a nice regular evening schedule for BMs during the week. Mrs. Warren smiled with anticipation. “That’s fine. Let’s go upstairs and get you changed into a dry diaper. I see that one’s about soaked.” Doug looked down, but saw no signs of leaking through his pants. He was amazed at how Mrs. Warren could tell these things so accurately. I mean, I’m wearing pants, he thought. Is my diaper still that obvious? Can everyone tell? Or is she just that good? Mrs. Warren led him upstairs, aware of the impact her comment would make on Doug’s confidence in public and on his opinion of her. In truth, she simply had seen him arrive home and assumed he’d not yet changed himself. After a whole morning at work, she’d knew he had to be soaking. With considerable embarrassment, Doug lay back on his changing pad and allowed his pants to be pulled down and his diaper changed. Mrs. Warren didn’t do this for him often, and he was still self-conscious enough about it to make the experience painful. Mrs. Warren ran a baby wipe around his diaper area, cleaning his hairless groin carefully. “Very nice job shaving, Doug,” she said. “You’re turning into a very good little baby for Mommy. If we can get this constipation problem cleared up, we might consider taking you off of probation in a month or two.” Probation! He’d forgotten he was on probation. Recently it hadn’t been that bad being on probation, he reflected, as Mrs. Warren placed a clean diaper under his hips and powdered him heavily. But if he could be off of probation, then maybe he wouldn’t be spied on at work, or maybe his garbage wouldn’t be sorted, or his diapers counted. Then he could really get away with stuff! He tried to busy himself thinking how nice that would be while Mrs. Warren finished readying him. His attention was redirected back to Mrs. Warren as she dug into her purse and retrieved a latex glove and a small unlabeled container, from which she removed two cone-shaped pellets. After donning the glove, she had Doug spread and lift his legs, after which she unceremoniously stuck the two pellets up past Doug’s anus, well into his rectum. Doug was caught off-guard by this new experience, and he sucked in his breath sharply, unconsciously also clamping down his sphincter in self-defense. This effort had no effect on Mrs. Warren’s finger, which had accomplished its mission and retreated quickly. Mrs. Warren had his diaper taped up before Doug even knew what was happening. His bottom felt a little funny with those things inside, but it didn’t hurt or anything. Doug was relieved. That was it? She had him stand up as she walked over to his dresser and removed from the top drawer a pair of his white plastic panties. She handed them to Doug and told him to put them on, which he did. Then she went back to her purse and, to Doug’s surprise, removed from it another pair of plastic panties. These, too, Doug obediently pulled on, wondering idly what the point of two pairs of panties was. He noted as he adjusted the waist that there was something unusual about the elastic band, but before he had even realized that there was a small chain embedded in the waistband, Mrs. Warren had reached over and snapped closed a tiny padlock. Doug looked up in surprise. Why did he need to be locked in? But Mrs. Warren just smiled and said, “There you go. Now, here’s the plan. After a while you’re going to want to soil your diaper. I know you’re incontinent, but my advice to you is to try to hold it in for at least an hour and a half. “The reason for that is that I want these suppositories to stay inside you and melt completely. If you just poop them out now, they won’t help you at all. So the rule is, keep them in until they’re melted completely; you won’t be able to tell, of course, but an hour and a half should do the trick. I’m going to check your diaper when I change it in six hours, and if I find any part of the suppository unmelted, I’ll know you didn’t get the full effect. If that happens, we go directly to enemas, which you will like even less. So for your comfort, I’d like to try the suppositories first.” Actually it was less for his comfort than it was to draw out the entire affair. Enemas were over too quickly. “Every six hours, I’ll come here and unlock you, let you shower if you need to, and put you in a clean diaper with two more suppositories. “In twenty-four hours, after four messy diapers, I’ll assume you’re no longer constipated, and you can get back to your regular life, no pun intended. Okay? Walk me downstairs,” she said brightly as she picked up her purse. Wearing nothing but his diaper and plastic panties, Doug accompanied her to the front door. “I have to tell you, Doug, that as important as this treatment is, I know you’ll appreciate my help over the next day. I’d like to hear you thank me for that help every time I see you through tomorrow.” She looked at Doug expectantly. “Thank you, Mommy,” Doug said quickly, though he wasn’t sure he meant it. At his response, Mrs. Warren smiled a wonderfully evil smile, said good-bye, and left his apartment, telling him she’d be back at six. Doug looked down at his bulky diaper, now encased in two pairs of plastic panties. He started to get a foreboding that the next day wasn’t going to be very enjoyable for him. He’d actually never heard of suppositories, but he hoped they didn’t work very quickly, because he had to work this afternoon! There wasn’t much to do, just a couple of assays in the lab, but they were timed, and he had to be there all day, until nearly six o’clock, to supervise them. What if he had a bowel movement at work? He had purposely avoided this until now, knowing that the smell would be hideous and difficult to control. He stared at the two pairs of panties he wore and felt a chill up his spine as he realized that they must be there for a reason. He was probably being set up for a disaster. Damn that woman! he thought. She must know the effect this might have. She was doing it on purpose. And now he was locked in! He couldn’t escape this at all now: judging by the double protection she’d given him, he was destined to have an enormous accident in a potentially embarrassing place, and there was no way to avoid it! He wanted desperately to expel those little pellets right now, before they could do whatever they were going to do. But that would apparently lead to an enema, which didn’t sound nice at all, and if he knew Mrs. Warren at all, probably a spanking as well. No, he didn’t have a choice. As bad as this day might get, he knew he had to face it. A glance at his watch told him that this escapade had already nearly made him late for getting back to the lab. So he wolfed down his sandwich and tried to find pants to cover himself, now that he was bigger than ever before. He got his longest shirt and tried it on. It seemed to disguise his diapered state, but when he walked, it tightened against his diaper with every move and made things very obvious, he thought. But that was the best he could do. He had to hurry. He got to his lab without having anyone comment on or stare at him, so he started to feel better about the afternoon still ahead of him. Until he sat down for the first time and suddenly felt a cramp in his belly. Uh-oh, he thought. It’s already starting? He hadn’t expected it to be quite this fast-acting. It had only been about thirty minutes since Mrs. Warren had inserted the suppositories. He sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on other things, but soon Doug could think of nothing but his bowels. He heard a familiar gurgling in his stomach, the same gurgling he’d heard a month ago in his bathtub. This was when he knew that this situation would get much worse before it would get better. He was again filled with the desire to push those angry pellets out into his diaper where they couldn’t hurt him, but still he resisted the urge. He wanted to get through this without making it any worse. The pain and urgency in his bottom got much worse when he got up twenty minutes later to turn off a gel he’d been running. He literally had to clinch his teeth as he stood working so as not to soil himself. By this point the contents of his intestines were screaming to be let loose, but Doug was now determined to go the distance. If he gave in to his urges now, on top of all of the misery he’d already endured over the last hour, he’d also probably be spanked and subjected to an enema. A co-worker came in several minutes later, and Doug tried to stay still, so as not to move and thereby give away his diapered status. But his friend noticed his obvious discomfort, and suggested he take the afternoon off. Doug nodded grimly but didn’t say anything. He knew that wasn’t really an option. If he went home “sick,” he’d have to tell Mrs Warren, whose remedy might be worse yet. To his relief his co-worker simply shook his head and left. Doug was sweating by the time ninety minutes were up. But he was elated: he had done it, and now he could relieve himself of this torment. Yet it wasn’t much of a victory, he knew, as he was now simply given the unenviable opportunity to mess his diaper at work and then stay in it for four and a half uncomfortable hours. His discomfort would simply shift to outside his body, with the added risk of someone discovering him. He was trapped and silently cursed Mrs. Warren again. He was beginning to realize (in part) how diabolical she could be. A minute later, when the next round of cramps struck him, he realized it didn’t matter what he wanted or who was to blame. As he nearly cried out in agony, he instinctively squatted down and urgently pushed what he could of his intestinal contents out into his diaper. And his bowels responded explosively. Doug couldn’t help but enjoy the sensation, momentarily luxuriating in the absence of pain and pressure. When he could, he stood up again and looked around. The lab room was empty, thank goodness. That experience had gone unwitnessed. But now what? How to hide the very full state of his pants? Doug made the unfortunate decision to sit down to think, and immediately wished he hadn’t. He felt his diaper’s contents squish and spread over his bottom and between his legs. This was indeed a mess! Once seated, though, Doug realized that if he stayed that way and didn’t move, the smell wasn’t too bad. So he just spent the rest of his day parked in his dirty diaper at his desk, periodically relieving himself as he needed, feeling no compunction to hold it in now. Luckily, most people seemed to have taken off early on this Friday afternoon, and he had only two further visitors to his lonely lab, neither requiring him to stand. He couldn’t believe his luck, if you could call it that, but after the rest of the day he’d had, he was grateful for any break he could get. He listened for the familiar and distant sounds of keys jingling and doors shutting as the rest of the employees left for the day. When all was quiet, at about five-thirty, Doug gingerly stood, picked up his relatively-useless diaper bag, and waddled out of his lab. Doug’s fear of being smelled on the bus convinced him to walk home, an uncomfortable trip that contrasted vividly with his walk to work this noon. Now, with every step he felt the largely liquid load in his diaper shift and squish, and the discomfort only increased over the fifteen minutes it took to get home. The only good thing was that it was nearly six when he arrived home, and he only had to wait a couple minutes for Mrs. Warren to show up. He couldn’t wait. It had indeed been a miserable afternoon, from start to finish. With the exception of his continence test, he’d never been so uncomfortable in his life, he’d never had such a full diaper, and he’d never had to wear a messy diaper for so long. He was thoroughly disgusted, and ready as never before for a clean diaper. Mrs. Warren was, as always, punctual, and unlocked the outer plastic panties immediately. She watched with an amused smile as he pulled them off. They were obviously dirty on the inside, a sign that his “accident” had overloaded his thick diaper and the first pair of plastic pants. Doug’s gratitude for the necessary protection this afternoon was tempered by the confirmation that Mrs. Warren had known exactly what would happen to him today. She tried to play it off as concern for his incontinence, but Doug was beginning to suspect that Mrs. Warren was enjoying his unhappiness. This was such a frightening thought that he pushed it temporarily from his mind. He remained conscious only of a desire to end his ICP at the end of the six months. While thinking, he also pulled the other panties off and untaped his loaded diaper. “Whew. That is a dirty diaper,” she said, chuckling. Doug didn’t share her good humor, for he was also embarrassed for her to see him in such a humiliating state, but he reminded himself that it had happened before. And like before, his mind was primarily thinking of getting cleaned up. He waddled carefully into the bathroom and showered, leaving his filthy diaper with Mrs. Warren to examine. She did, noting the absence of any remaining, unmelted suppository. That was a little disappointing to her for several reasons. It deprived her of the opportunity to “enemize” Doug, which she knew she’d enjoy. More importantly, however, it meant that he was still continent enough of bowel to hold significant pressure in for a long time. But she remembered that all of her boys, most of whom were perfectly on schedule, usually did fine for the first round. It was rounds two and three, which for Doug would come overnight tonight, when their increasingly unconditioned sphincters gave way and allowed their contents out before ninety minutes were up. Exactly when the boys control failed during this difficult day of bowel torture gave her important information regarding their “progress,” and this was the major reason that she put her babies through this rectal hell. Doug took his time in the shower, enjoying the sensation of being out of a diaper for a few minutes. His relief at having escaped the day’s earlier torment was all-consuming. He savored the feeling, and couldn’t really think about anything else. And this preoccupation with the present, like every other part of Doug’s Incontinence Control Program, was planned by Mrs. Warren. She had discovered that the more her clients were focused on detailed rules and demands, the less capable they were of seeing the bigger picture. Doug rightfully thought today’s experience was horrendous, but because it took all of his concentration simply to make it through the day, he couldn’t spend any time considering the larger purpose for the ordeal, which was to assess his progress toward incontinence. He was trying only to make it through each day without a spanking; had he known the stakes, he might have shifted his efforts toward avoiding Mrs. Warren’s long-term plans for him. But Doug was so focused at the moment, in fact, that he was completely shocked and dismayed when he emerged from the shower and saw another two pellets waiting for him in Mrs. Warren’s gloved hand. He’d forgotten that he had more to endure. “No, please, Mommy,” he whined. His bowels already ached. “I’m all cleaned out, I promise.” “Shush,” Mrs. Warren said, pushing Doug back on his changing pad. “No more backtalk. You’ll be done soon enough. We have to make sure.” Doug compliantly spread and lifted his legs, allowing himself to be powdered, invaded by the glycerine, and re-diapered. Mrs. Warren had two clean plastic panties for Doug to put on. Doug watched helplessly as she locked the outer one. He knew better than to object. “Do I have to wait six whole hours?” he asked, pushing Mrs. Warren as far as he dared. “Absolutely.” She packed up her purse. “But it’s so long in a messy diaper,” he whimpered. Mrs. Warren glared at him. “That’s enough, young man. Look at it this way: this is making up for all the time you didn’t spend in dirty diapers this week. Remember, now, same rules, if you don’t want an enema. Try to wait ninety minutes, and I’ll see you around midnight. I’ll wake you up if I need to. Now, I suggest you have some dinner.” She left, and Doug waddled downstairs to eat. This time, though his bowels were nearly empty, they were also still very irritated from the previous suppositories, and they reacted quickly and strongly to this new onslaught of glycerine. The cramps and discomfort started within five to ten minutes, and Doug nearly cried several times. This was so pathetic. He wanted nothing more than to control his own bowels, and he felt degraded, angry, and miserable that he wasn’t allowed to make his own decision about such elementary functions. Mrs. Warren would have been happy that his greatest desire tonight was craving the ability to mess his diaper when he wanted? Life for Doug had certainly changed. But once again he bumped up against that wall he now always faced: Mrs. Warren and her absolute power over him. Though his ego still rejected his current impotent situation, he knew he had to force himself to submit to her difficult will. So he gritted his teeth and tried to keep his diaper clean. Meanwhile, while his bowels churned away, he unconsciously (and vainly) searched for a way to rationalize his participation in this absurd ICP. If he could gain something, anything, out of this humiliating return to diaperhood, his self-esteem wouldn’t suffer as much. Perhaps, he allowed himself to think, Mrs. Warren had actually been right, and he had always been a little incontinent. That would make all of this worthwhile, and this pain a little more tolerable. If this were so, then he was in the right hands, and he should just relax and trust in Mrs. Warren’s experience with such matters. But even as he allowed himself to think this way, he knew it wasn’t true. Mrs. Warren was mean to him. His defensive ego was playing tricks on him, and that’s probably just what Mrs. Warren wanted to happen. He shook his head. He hadn’t been incontinent. Probably. He didn’t think so. But it seemed like things were more confusing these days, which frightened him a little in a vague way. He was, as always, able to reassure himself that, at the very least, it would all end in five months, and he could return to normality. There was still a finite end to this nonsense, a light at the end of the tunnel. Doug’s second vigil of the day ended just over an hour in, when he decided that maybe an hour really was enough to melt those little pellets, and that waiting longer would hurt too much. Plus, he started to admit to himself, he was getting tired of holding it in: he wasn’t used to such a strain. For the last four weeks, he hadn’t tried to hold it in at all; now he had diarrhea and was expected to hold it in all day long? No one could do that, he thought to himself, practicing some dangerous denial. He regarded his task as super-human, and something of which anyone would tire. So once again Doug filled his diaper with loose, brown, sticky poop, and he sighed and grimaced as he sat down in it to watch TV until Mrs. Warren returned at midnight. He decided to try to ignore his messy state, and, in fact, he was beginning to grow used to it. His acclimation to such infantile discomfort showed the effect this month had had on him. Mrs. Warren would have again been pleased. And she was. At midnight Mrs. Warren arrived and found Doug asleep on the sofa in his filthy diaper, and she smiled. She gently woke him, guided him as he sleepily headed upstairs, and helped him remove his panties and diaper. This time Mrs. Warren found what she was looking for in Doug’s diaper. Two small suppository remnants told her Doug was unable to maintain good sphincter tone for ninety minutes tonight. She was thrilled, but decided to put off Doug’s enema until the morning, when they would both be more awake, for the benefit of her heightened enjoyment and his increased misery. She didn’t want either one of them to sleep through it! Doug showered more quickly this time, realizing that there was no virtue in putting off the inevitable. It would just make everything last longer. He dried himself, and, still naked, headed back to his bedroom, where another diaper was waiting for him, as well as Mrs. Warren, who had two more suppositories ready. He groaned as she inserted them with a gloved finger, and then he obediently allowed her to tape him up and lock him in still another plastic panty. Mrs. Warren saw his exhaustion and beaten spirit and couldn’t resist a smile. “Halfway there, Doug. Twelve more hours.” He grunted in return. He was tired physically and mentally, and her encouragement couldn’t help him. “Sleep well. I’ll be here a little late, at about seven o’clock, so that I don’t have to wake you too early,” she said, stroking his hair gently. “Thank Mommy, and tell her goodnight.” “Goodnight, Mommy,” Doug wearily replied. “And thanks,” he said unconvincingly. Mrs. Warren had scarcely driven away when Doug felt his bowel cramp for the first time. He groaned and rolled over in bed, still feeling very sleepy but knowing that he should stay awake for a while. When this round of cramps subsided several minutes later, however, he quickly drifted off to sleep. In its weakened and exhausted state, Doug’s rectal sphincter was no match for the pressure of its contents as they built over the next fifteen minutes. And Mrs. Warren would therefore have loved to have seen the moment, not half an hour after she placed the suppositories, when Doug soiled himself in his sleep for the first time in more than twenty years. He didn’t even stir when it happened, and was so used to wearing messy diapers (and so tired from the events of the previous day) that he never awoke, and thus was surprised when Mrs. Warren had to shake him awake at seven the next morning. “Was Douggie a good little baby last night?” Mrs. Warren asked sweetly when Doug’s eyes finally fluttered open. “Yes, Mommy,” Doug said reflexively, before he had time to think about whether it was true. He sat up and knew instantly that he was messy. But when had it happened? “Well, let’s see, shall we?” Mrs. Warren unlocked his panties and helped Doug pull them down his legs. Then they untaped his diaper, and Doug looked with curiosity down between his legs to his clean-shaven groin, and the diaper underneath. It contained a little bit of poop and two well-formed glycerine pellets which hadn’t even come close to melting. Doug caught his breath. Had he fallen asleep? He stuttered a few unintelligible syllables before Mrs. Warren cut him off. “That’s enough. Looks like maybe we weren’t quite as good a little boy as we thought. Head on in there and take your shower if you want, and we’ll talk about it afterward.” Doug complied, shaking his head in confusion. How did that happen? he wondered. And now what would she do? She has to be kidding about the enema, that’s absurd, I’ve never had one of those and I’m not going to start now, he thought, even as he knew that Mrs. Warren didn’t break her promises. But it’s so drastic. Maybe she won’t make me. But when he returned to his bedroom, of course, there was a large clean bag of soapy liquid hanging from one of his bedposts, with a long tube snaking its way down to his changing pad. Mrs. Warren was holding a container of K-Y jelly and looking at him expectantly. “Doug, I’d like for you to lay down here for a minute.” Doug was scared. “Mrs. Warren…I mean…Mommy, do we have to? I mean, I’ll just try again with those suppository things. Please?” “Oh, don’t worry. We will: we still have one more try with those. But first I’d just like for you to come over here and lie down. Just for a minute.” He knew now that he couldn’t escape it, so he slowly approached the bed. “That’s a good boy. On your hands and knees, like a puppy dog, with your bottom down here. Good boy. Now drop to your elbows and put your head down. And spread your legs a little. Perfect.” Doug closed his eyes. He felt a slippery finger touch his bottom, and then felt a small firm object invading him. He involuntarily tried to clamp down against it but couldn’t. He heard a click as Mrs. Warren released the valve on the tubing to allow two liters of sudsy warm water to fill his bowels. Doug then felt a warmth in his abdomen and an unusual, nondescript feeling as well. Doug was happy to learn that it didn’t really hurt at all. It lasted for what seemed quite a while. Finally, the plastic object was removed from his bottom. Not that bad, Doug thought. Mrs. Warren said, “Okay, now just hold still for a minute.” As Doug waited he felt gurgling throughout his abdomen and wondered what would happen next. Mrs. Warren was considering whether or not to use the tampon at this point. She decided first to test Doug’s sphincter further. There would be time for the tampon later, and this could be fun. She had tried butt plugs in the past, but tampons did the same job and seemed to embarrass her boys even more. “Get up now, Doug.” He stood and found Mrs. Warren waiting with a pair of transparent plastic panties, which she helped him pull up his legs. “Two rules: first, you may not sit or lie down while holding an enema. It’s medically dangerous,” she lied. She’d learned that it was harder for her babies to hold it in while standing. “Second, to get maximum benefit, you should hold it in for twenty minutes. After that, we’ll put a diaper back on you and let you empty. These panties are just in case of an accident, but I certainly don’t expect you to need them. Okay, now run along. I suggest you make yourself some breakfast.” Doug nodded and headed downstairs as Mrs. Warren followed. He was feeling extremely self-conscious of his essentially naked state, and also of the weird feeling of plastic next to his skin. On the other hand, he thought twenty minutes would be no problem, compared with the hour and a half of suppository hell. Mrs. Warren sat down in the living room as Doug poured himself some cereal. Suddenly he got an unpleasant feeling in his belly. It was sort of vague when it started, but it made him call in to Mrs. Warren to ask what would happen just in case he couldn’t hold it for twenty minutes. “What usually happens when you break one of my rules?” she called back. “I’ll give you a hint: it involves my lap and your bottom.” Doug rolled his eyes in response, careful not to let Mrs.Warren see him do it. Everything was spankings with this lady… Suddenly Doug was dropped to his knees by a huge abdominal cramp and the strongest urge to defecate he’d ever experienced. It was urgent and commanding in a way that even the diaper juice and the suppositories weren’t. He simply couldn’t stop it. He moaned as his tortured bowels ejected the enema into his transparent panties. Mrs. Warren ran in from the living room when she heard his yelp, and upon reaching the kitchen door, stood and enjoyed the view as the water and stool graphically filled his panties. The spasm relented for a moment, and Doug tried to catch his breath. What was that?! He was dazed. He tried to clear his head, when suddenly Mrs. Warren yanked him by his arm, forcing him to stand. “Upstairs, young man. I’ll teach you to respect my rules,” she said angrily. “I…I couldn’t help it,” he stammered. “Please…it wasn’t my fault.” And then, again, Doug experienced cramps, cried out, and released more enema into his dripping panties. “Oh, you’re begging for it now,” Mrs. Warren snapped, forcefully pulling him over to the stairs and dragging him up them. “Wash yourself off and then get in here pronto,” she told him. “You’ve got two minutes to be over my knees, or you’re really going to regret it.” Doug was about to cry from pain, frustration, and embarrassment, but he hurried into the bathroom, carefully removed his soaking plastic panties, and stepped into the shower. He let loose another stream of enema, quickly rinsed off, then jumped out and dried himself perfunctorily. Still nude, he hurried into the bedroom, where Mrs. Warren sat stiffly in a straight backed chair near his desk. He stopped abruptly in front of her, suddenly realizing what was about to happen. “Let’s go, little boy,” Mrs. Warren said. “You’ve only got seconds before I really get angry.” So Doug bent himself awkwardly across her lap, grabbed the chair legs as he had previously been instructed, and waited. His bare bottom tingled expectantly. He hoped that she’d go easy on him, but she sounded angry. She wasn’t really angry, of course. As she began to paddle his bottom with her strong hand, she was nearly gleeful about Doug’s apparent progress. He’d only taken about three minutes, far below average in this, the most accurate gauge of actual incontinence she had developed. Most boys at this stage lasted eight to nine minutes, but Doug had folded quickly, evidence that he was enjoying and using his diapers properly. Wonderful news. A spanking opportunity was icing for her. And she enjoyed this icing, letting her steel hands fall sharply on Doug’s reddening bottom, hearing the vain whimpers of protest dissolve into sniffles and then into outright crying. She felt a certain satisfaction as she delivered this assault. Doug wiggled helplessly, just like all the others. Grown men indeed, she thought with disdain. It was times like this that made her feel that anyone who would allow any of this to happen to himself actually deserved it. These boys, who let her take over their lives and dictate their most basic functions, who allowed her to usurp every last vestige of their independence and dignity, surely must benefit from her discipline. If they’d let themselves fall this deeply into her power, she thought, some part of them must be every bit the little baby she forced them to be. They desperately needed to be punished for their pathetic passivity. These thoughts spurred ever greater spanking effort, and she continued until she was sure Doug’s bottom would be sore for several days. Then she dumped him unceremoniously on the floor, where he lay crying. She went into the bathroom and refilled the enema bag, though this time she only put one liter of soapy warm water, since he probably hadn’t even fully expelled the last one. She forced Doug, who was now only sniffling, back on the bed and told him to lie like a puppy dog again. At this point he started crying all over again at the recognition that he would receive another enema. She smacked his bottom sharply, and he quickly resumed the position amidst his tears. She administered the enema, this time inserting the large tampon she had brought with her earlier. Doug felt the plastic removed from his bottom, but to his surprise couldn’t close his anus. Something was still there, and it quickly swelled with the water from the enema, expanding and filling his anal canal completely. Doug turned his head around, hoping to see what it was, but there was nothing to see. He looked to Mrs. Warren for an explanation, and she nearly laughed out loud at his confusion. Doug didn’t understand what was happening, but his bottom still stung enough that he didn’t want to ask any questions, so he remained unsure of what she’d done. She made him put on another pair of transparent panties, this time just for show, since nothing would get out of his bottom this time, and led him downstairs, where he tried to finish making his breakfast. The heat from his burning bottom built up inside of his panties, making it difficult for him to concentrate. This time, when the cramps hit him, he again let out a yell and doubled over in pain, but as his intestines tried to expel the enema, they met the impenetrable resistance of the tampon, and, indeed, nothing came out. Doug was surprised and a bit upset, since the pain therefore continued unabated. The cramps eventually let up, but resumed after another minute, and by the time twenty minutes were over, Doug was crying again. He never even finished making his breakfast. Mrs. Warren gently led him upstairs and replaced his panties with one of his disposable diaper. He had never been so overjoyed to get into one. Mrs. Warren reached down the back of his diaper with a gloved hand and pulled the tampon’s string, gently working it out of Doug’s bottom. She withdrew her hand as quickly as possible, leaving the tampon behind, since she knew from experience that the client’s anal sphincter was probably totally worthless at this point of the exercise. And sure enough, a liter of liquid immediately and uncontrollably gushed out into Doug’s diaper. So again Mrs. Warren changed Doug, who was nearly catatonic after everything he’d been through. He didn’t put up any resistance and probably wouldn’t have even noticed the fact that she inserted the last two suppositories before taping him up again, except that she pointed it out and told him to try not to poop for ninety minutes. After locking him one final time into the panties, she finally left for the morning, not to return until after noon. Doug was not surprised to feel the pellets ooze helplessly out of his bottom into his diaper less than fifteen minutes later. He didn’t care. He went to sleep. Not even his sore, hot bottom could interfere with his exhaustion. When Mrs. Warren returned six hours later, she told Doug once again to clean himself up, which he did. Doug was remotely upset when Mrs. Warren told him that they weren’t done yet, that he needed one more enema before it was all over, since he hadn’t melted these pellets either. But he had run out of emotion, and felt his misery only dully now. For twenty minutes following the administration of the enema, he did find the energy to cry, as colonic spasms shook him repeatedly. But then it was over, and Mrs. Warren cleaned and rediapered him, told him to count his messy diapers from now on, and then left him alone. Finally, he sat numbly on his sofa, relieved to be wearing nothing but a nice, fresh diaper. His bowels felt totally worn out. He couldn’t believe what had happened to him over the past day, so he just tried to block it out and watch TV. Five months, he thought. Five months. Chapter 10 Doug’s recovery from his “bowel encouragement” took the rest of the weekend. He was worn out. He was definitely not up to facing Emily the next day in the grocery store, and was greatly relieved when arrived to find her (again) not there, this time because it happened to be her day off. Another uneventful trip around the store with the quiet homely girl, who, while not providing the sexual thrill that Emily did, also did not fill him with anxiety, either. He was happy to get home and relax for the rest of the day. The work week, too, was unremarkable. Doug did find himself filling his diet with fiber, trying to avoid a repeat performance of last week when he apparently turned in too few messy diapers. This had the unpleasant effect of significantly increasing the mess in each diaper, the number of messy diapers, and the amount of cleanup necessary. It also led unavoidably to several embarrassing accidents at work, which Doug was horrified about, but after several tense, messy trips to the restroom, hoping nobody smelled him, he decided that either everyone was being remarkably nonchalant about the whole thing, or else they really weren’t noticing. The increased risk of discovery, however, still seemed worth the knowledge that he wouldn’t have to undergo any more “encouragement.” By midweek he’d recovered enough nerve to plan another orgasm. He made sure the elements were in place, and then carefully executed the plan. He enjoyed another wonderful moment of pleasure (even if it was alone). And once again, everything went flawlessly, the evidence apparently being missed by Mrs. Warren’s legion of suspicious inspectors. This ended Doug’s fifth week on a high note, as he again congratulated himself on his genius. He would now force himself to wait another week before attempting another orgasm. It was difficult but necessary, and better than nothing at all. As Sunday once again approached, he started to get worried about facing Emily. One of these weeks Emily had to be there. And when he arrived at the grocery store, he was filled with anxiety to learn that this would be that week: Emily would escort him today. Over the weeks, he had often struggled with what he should let happen today. Though his hormones were kept at a sky-high level by his infrequent sexual release, and though the thought of Emily raised this level even further, there were two excellent reasons not to allow himself to get involved with her. First, their age difference, while not criminal, was odd. He would feel a little like he was robbing the cradle. Second, if anything happened, it (like everything else, apparently) would certainly get back to Mrs. Warren, and there was no telling what would happen. His bottom had just stopped being sore from last week about three days ago, and he wanted to be very good right now. He was turning into a wimp, he knew, but he told himself he should avoid sex. He’d get his life back in a few months. So he’d made the decision not to let anything happen. His only worry was that Emily might make this promise difficult for him to keep. He half dreaded (and half craved) her checking his diaper. Would she try to take things further than she did last time? “Hi, Doug!” she chirped as she walked up to him. She gave his diaper, necessarily visible outside his shirt, a little upward tug, apparently to make sure it wasn’t falling down. Doug felt the motion in his genitals, and was distressed to observe that they were already betraying him by becoming aroused. Hopefully it wouldn’t become an embarrassing problem later. “Have you been a good boy?” she asked playfully as Doug tried to start shopping. Doug nodded, unwilling either to lead her on or to divulge any more embarrassing details about his situation. “Any more spankings?” she asked, with obvious interest. Doug bit his lip. Last weekend’s activities were the last thing he wanted to talk about. Emily saw this written on his face. “Uh-oh,” she said, laughing. “Somebody got his bottom spanked.” She paused, clearly waiting for Doug to say something. But he didn’t. “What was it for?” she asked, still smiling. No answer. “Did it hurt?” No answer. He was aware of how much spankings seemed to turn Emily on, and his lifelong desire for a “playmate” or a “Mommy” tugged at him to grab this opportunity. Could he ever find someone like this again if he passed her up? But, he reminded himself that his fantasies were no longer fantasies, but realities, and they were also no longer fun. Her interests, he was surprised to realize, didn’t really turn him on right now, though her interest itself did. At another time the irony would have amused him, but right now it hurt. “So you don’t want to talk about it, huh? That’s okay for now. It’s probably time to check that diaper of yours anyway. Come on.” Doug followed her to the hallway with trepidation. He wanted to be good. He dutifully pulled down his pants, and as always, felt his erection mount inside his diaper. He was helpless to stop it. The only issue was whether she would feel it today. He tried to think of other things, terrible brutal things, gross disgusting things, complicated scientific things, anything, but try as he might, he felt his erection still growing. He watched Emily’s face as she began to stroke his diaper, first in back, quickly, then in front. Sure enough, before long, a look of surprise crossed her face, and suddenly her fingers probed more actively and deeply through his diaper. Doug tried to ignore this, but he couldn’t help thinking how nice it felt. Even through his thick diaper, it felt so good to be touched. He felt his excitement continue to rise. He looked down at Emily, whose eyes were closed, obviously enjoying this immensely. Suddenly she stopped and said, “I can’t quite tell by feeling the outside.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “I’m afraid I’ll need to check the inside of your diaper, Doug.” She reached up to untape him. Doug panicked. This definitely crossed the line, he thought. In a reflex movement, Doug’s hands caught hers before she could accomplish her task. “Emily…please don’t. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Emily’s eyes flashed up at him in sudden anger. “What are you talking about? Who are you to say what is or isn’t a good idea? I’m the babysitter, and if I say I need to check the inside of your diaper, then that’s what I’ll do.” She reached out again toward Doug’s waist. Again he stopped her. “Please,” he pleaded. “We both know where this is headed, and even though I want it too, I have to tell you that it’s a bad idea.” She was hurt, he could see. She hadn’t expected him to rebuff her seduction, and by her face Doug could tell that her ego was damaged. To Doug’s alarm, however, she seemed to convert this disappointment into anger towards him. “Oh, yeah?” she challenged. “I don’t think you should be talking to me like that. I bet you want to apologize. Since I like you, I’ll give you one more chance. Go ahead. I’m waiting.” “Emily,” Doug pleaded. “Please believe me. It’s not that I don’t want to see where we could go with this, but I just can’t.” Emily’s face hardened. “Fine.” She stood, turned sharply and strode away, back toward the store. Doug sighed. Getting turned down was always unpleasant, and this had been no different. It was worse because he did want to be with her, to explore the potential between them. But he had been good, and he felt proud of himself, if extremely frustrated sexually. Mrs. Warren, he thought, would be proud when he told her. As Doug pulled up and buckled his pants, careful once again to let the diaper be visible above them, he wondered idly where Emily had rushed off to. Probably to pout somewhere, he thought. Or… Doug suddenly panicked when he realized where she had probably gone. As quick as he could waddle in his bulky diaper, Doug hurried toward the front of the store. He caught sight of Emily far ahead of him, in full stride. Doug tried to catch up to her, but she was walking very quickly, and his own diaper slowed him down a lot. “Emily!” he whispered frantically. He had to stop her from doing this. But she didn’t so much as turn her head as she strode ever closer to the customer service desk where the manager stood. “Emily, please!” Doug hissed at her. If he could stop her, he might be able to appease her. He hadn’t thought she would do this. But she had no intention of giving him another chance. Doug watched in horror as Emily reached the service desk. He slowed down and approached carefully. “Excuse me. May I please have the key to the stockroom?” “Sure, sweetie. For a diaper change or a spanking?” A smile grew on Mrs. Johnson’s face as she looked from Emily to Doug, who now stood several feet away, listening and looking scared. Finally some fun with this boy. Emily was fuming. It sort of frightened Doug to see her so angry. She was still pretty, but suddenly she also looked formidable. “A spanking. The little baby wouldn’t let me check his diaper.” Mrs. Johnson nodded in sympathy. “Well, you’re the babysitter. The rules were laid out clearly to begin with, so it’s your decision,” she said as she found the appropriate key. “Do you think you can handle it alone, or would you like some help?” Doug’s head pounded and his heart was sinking into the floor. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Emily’s brow furrowed. “Well, this first time I guess I could use some help. And then the next time I’ll try it alone. I’ve just never done this before.” Once again Doug was being totally ignored. He wasn’t even asked about his side of the story. It’s like his opinion didn’t even merit attention. He began to feel dizzy and disoriented. Mrs. Johnson smiled slyly. “I guess that’s true, isn’t it? Always on the other side. Well, welcome.” Doug tried to listen, but they weren’t making much sense. “Of course I’ll help, dear. There are some helpful hints everyone should know. I’ll be glad to give whatever advice I can.” “Thanks. I’d be grateful, and he’ll really benefit from your experience, I’m sure. Are those the keys?” Mrs. Johnson nodded as she locked the door to her office behind her. “Yes. We can get started immediately.” The two females, without a glance at Doug, started back toward that infamous rear hallway. Doug didn’t move. It seemed silly to pander to their abusive whims. They weren’t his mommy, and they wouldn’t even talk to him. He wasn’t about to cooperate, when he knew it would just lead to a spanking. He just watched them walk away together, and felt more than a little irked that they should expect him simply to accompany them willingly back to the slaughterhouse. As if he should “know his place” or something. It was insulting and stupid. He heard their discussion continue. “Now, Emily, if you’ll recall, I believe spankings should follow as soon after naughty acts as possible, to assure that the child remembers for what he or she is being spanked. If you…” At this point Mrs. Johnson stopped and glanced backward down the long aisle to where Doug was standing. “Whoops. It seems we’ve lost someone.” Emily nodded. “He’s not very bright, is he?” Mrs. Johnson shook her head. “Perhaps not.” In a louder voice obviously meant for Doug’s ears, she called, “Come along, young man. We can’t very well do this without you.” Doug didn’t budge. He was thinking he should just walk out now while he had the chance. But Mrs. Johnson knew just how to motivate him. “Come on, dear. I’m sure you don’t want my report to Mrs. Warren to be any worse than it already will be.” Damn! Doug thought. He should have guessed they were good friends by now. That, unfortunately, sealed his fate. He no longer had a choice about cooperating. He hung his head and trudged back toward them. He still had a chance at damage control: if he was good for them, maybe they wouldn’t call Mrs. Warren. “That’s better,” Mrs. Johnson said as he reached them and they restarted their short march. “As I was saying, Emily, if you wait too long, the child may forget what he has done wrong.” “I hurried,” Emily said. “Do you think it’s too late?” “I don’t know,” Mrs. Johnson said as they reached the back hallway. She opened the storeroom with her key. “Why don’t you ask him?” “Okay,” Emily said, smiling wickedly at Doug. “Doug, do you remember why you need a spanking?” This was the opportunity he’d been waiting for, a chance to tell his side. “Yeah, right. Mrs. Johnson, what really happened was, I had already let her check me,” Doug said to Mrs. Johnson. “She’s lying to you. What she really did was…” “Here’s something else that’s good to learn,” Mrs. Johnson interrupted Doug to tell Emily. They entered the dark stockroom. “Never tolerate arguing or backtalk. The spanking is never subject to negotiation. That just distracts the child from the lesson to be learned. He’s probably easily confused.” Doug’s mouth hung open at this injustice as Emily smirked at him behind Mrs. Johnson’s back. She knew she’d won. “You simply need to tell the child that he is going to get a spanking now, no matter what. Then remind him why he needs it, in case he forgot, and inform him that backtalk will only lead to a longer and more painful spanking for him. Why don’t you practice saying that to Doug?” she suggested, flipping on a light to reveal shelves of boxes and piles of empty, flattened cardboard. Doug rolled his eyes in disgust, which luckily went unnoticed. “Doug, I don’t tolerate any backtalk, and we’re not going to talk about whether or not you need a spanking. You are definitely going to get a spanking now, because you wouldn’t let me check your diaper like a good baby. Do you understand?” Doug stared at her. She couldn’t really expect him to play along. “Answer her, Doug,” Mrs. Johnson prompted. Doug nodded sullenly. Mrs. Johnson swiftly reached around and smacked Doug’s diapered bottom. “You treat us with respect, young man, or you won’t want to sit down for a week. I want to hear a ‘yes, ma'am' or ‘no, ma’am’ from you when you answer our questions. Is that understood?” “Yes, ma’am.” Doug hated this. Stupid, evil women. “Good. Now answer Emily’s question.” “Yes, ma’am,” Doug told Emily, his voice trembling slightly with frustration. “Good boy,” Mrs. Johnson said to Doug. To Emily, “See how I did that? Swift and appropriate punishment that a child like Doug can understand, coupled with instructions on how to avoid more punishment.” She turned and indicated a chair which sat near a wall. “Now let’s get going.” Emily walked over and seated herself stiffly in the chair. She clearly enjoyed playing the role of an angry mommy. Doug couldn’t help wondering why it was that she seemed to enjoy hurting and abusing him. On a more practical note, he was beginning to hope that Emily’s inexperience would make this experience less painful than the spankings of Mrs. Warren. After all, he thought, it had to be less painful than that. “Now, dear, the first issue is what position to use. I, as you know, favor the lap position, not only because it’s humiliating for him, but also because you really have good physical control of him as well. It is also a convenient position from which to deliver a good, hard spanking, which is, of course, your goal. For some reason, I find it to be the most emotionally satisfying position as well.” “Come lie over my lap,” Emily commanded Doug. “Not so fast, sweetie. You want to do this to his bare bottom, right?” Emily nodded enthusiastically. “Then you need him to pull down his pants before you get him on your lap. Otherwise you’ll have an awkward time. The diaper may be removed either before or after he bends over your knee. I like to untape or unpin it and pull it back once he’s there, though, so that the front of the diaper is still there to protect your lap. It’s not uncommon to have little children let loose in the middle of the spanking because they get so upset, and the last thing you want is to emerge all wet from a satisfying and effective spanking. It can ruin a perfectly good spanking.” She looked at Doug, who was taking in this scene but hardly believing it was happening. A spanking lesson, with him as the subject. “Has that ever happened to you, Doug?” Doug stared at her. He couldn’t believe he was being asked this question. The absurdity of the situation washed over him. He wanted to laugh. But her eyes remained on him and grew hard. Doug remembered her earlier admonition, and said, “No, ma’am,” as politely as he could. “Well, it might today. Maybe you just haven’t been spanked hard enough,” she commented ominously. “Go ahead, dear,” she said to Emily. “Pull down your pants, young man,” the girl called out to Doug. Doug obeyed reluctantly. This was unlike any of the experiences he’d had thus far. This was so academic, so clearly not motivated by anger or justified by his behavior. Yet the painful outcome would be the same. They even appeared to be having fun. It was so unfair: this time, he knew, he had done nothing wrong. In fact, he had been trying to obey a rule. And yet, here he was, pants around his ankles, about to have his bottom paddled by this spoiled teenager who was just mad because Doug hadn’t acquiesced to her sexual demands. His life was so unfair. “Now come over here,” Emily told him, and he slowly tried to shuffle his pants-clad feet toward her, until he was standing in front of her. “Oh, Emily,” Mrs. Johnson exclaimed. “This is a good time to show you another trick to use with him. It works even when he knows it’s coming.” She had Emily turn her chair to the side so that Doug was on one side of her lap. Doug watched uneasily, not sure of what would happen. “Good. Now notice that because his ankles are essentially tied together by his pants, he has almost no balance. You can grab a wrist and pull, and he’ll topple right into place on your lap.” Suddenly Emily reached up, grabbed Doug’s wrist, and pulled, and even though Doug knew it was coming, he found himself helplessly falling over, until he landed on Emily’s lap, his diapered bottom high in the air, his feet off the ground. “Good girl,” Mrs. Johnson told Emily, who returned a broad smile. “See how easy that is? And once his pants are down, he can’t really do anything about it. Part of a spanking is also showing the child just who is in control, and by easily turning even a big boy like Doug over your knee, you’ve taught him an important lesson about your relationship.” From Doug’s position he couldn’t see Emily’s smile but he knew it was there anyway. “Now just enjoy this feeling for a moment. You have him well-balanced on your lap, and he can’t really touch anything to help him get up. See how helpless he is? Doug, try to stand up.” Doug was more than willing to try. He flailed his legs around, trying to touch the ground, but Emily learned quickly to elevate her knees in response to his efforts, and Doug was shocked and scared to see how correct Mrs. Johnson was. He couldn’t really use his hands because of the odd position. He was totally helpless. The women laughed at his struggle. “This is fun!” exclaimed Emily as she watched Doug squirm. “Yes,” agreed Mrs. Johnson. "I figured you might like this. Now, Doug, settle down so we can get on with this. Emily, the next step is, of course, to pull his diaper down. Just reach around and undo the tapes on either side…that’s right…and just pull back…and voila! That’s what you want to see! I usually tuck the back of the diaper under here in the back so it doesn’t get in the way. Good. “Now we need to talk about the actual spanking. You’re right-handed, so he’s turned the right way, with the head toward the left. With little children it doesn’t matter, but his bottom is angled because he’s so big. The stroke itself should involve your whole arm, right from the shoulder. Bring your hand down from up high: use gravity to help. This is an athletic endeavor, and you need strength and endurance. Luckily, as the pitcher for your softball team, you ought to be well-prepared to give a long, hard spanking, but make sure to pace yourself. Don’t waste all your strength at first. Lasting soreness in the bottom, which I think helps reinforce the lesson long after the spanking is over, is accomplished more by the length of the spanking than by the intensity. The intensity just makes it more fun.” Doug wanted to disappear. It was just too horrible: to have them looking and talking about his bare bottom, and how best to hurt and embarrass him. "You can use various implements, of course: belts, spoons, a hairbrush, but as you know, I favor the open palm. It’s most convenient, since you always have it. I think it’s good for the child to know that you’re always capable of disciplining him; you don’t have to run off and find a big wooden spoon before he’s sorry he did something wrong. The noise it makes is also most satisfying. "Distribution of strokes is another personal style matter. I don’t think it matters, as long as the strokes are hard and the spanking is long. Vary the location, or don’t; either way, you can teach him an effective lesson. Make sure most end up on the lower bottom, near his thighs, where he sits. He’ll remember those most. “Finally, you need to decide when to end your spanking. Often it’s when you get tired, but since you’re such a conditioned athlete, that may not happen before you should stop.” Doug groaned audibly at this. He had to get a pitcher. Just his luck. "Don’t go only by his crying, because smart children try to use that to convince you they’ve learned their lessons when they haven’t. Spank past the cry and well into the uncontrolled wailing stage when they’ve lost composure and have given up. You’ll just have to learn when that is. Today, I’ll try to help you to tell. “Okay, any questions?” Doug had many, but he wasn’t being asked. Why him? he wanted to know. Would he really reach “the wailing stage?” Was she going to spank hard? How long would it last? How would he… SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! Three blows in quick succession. Doug gasped, since he somehow never expected it to be as painful as it was. And suddenly, then, there was a pause, as Mrs. Johnson interrupted. “Good start, but put more of that powerful shoulder of yours into it, and slow down slightly, so that he feels each stroke.” SPANK!! “Owww!” howled Doug uncontrollably. She’d hit him very hard. “There you go!” cheered Mrs. Johnson. “Keep it up. He’ll cry before too long.” SPANK!! SPANK!! SPANK!! The blows came regularly now, and Doug cried out with each one. The pain burned intensely, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Out of frustration he flung a hand back to protect himself. “Aha!” he heard Mrs. Johnson cry out, as the spanks stopped temporarily. Then he felt a searing pain in his shoulder and realized that his arm was being twisted violently, up near the back of his neck. He screamed in surprise and pain. “At this point, Emily, you can either threaten him with a longer spanking, or with keeping his arm up like this throughout the entire spanking. It’s obviously quite painful yet easy to do. Try it.” And then Doug felt his arm, weakened and vulnerable in this position, released briefly, and then yanked up even higher behind him. “Owwww!” he yelled in protest. “Wow. That is easy. You’re right. Doug, do you want me to hold your arm like this until your spanking is over?” Doug had begun to whimper. The pain was tremendous. “No,” he whined. He felt the pain worsen as he simultaneously received a smack on his bottom. She could spank him at the same time? Uh-oh… “No, what?” “Ohhhh…No, ma’am,” he moaned. “That’s better. Then keep it away from your bottom, okay?” “Yes, ma’am.” Doug felt his arm released, and he brought it down gingerly. SPANK!! He yelled again in pain. SPANK!! SPANK!! SPANK!! It wasn’t long before Doug’s helplessness, pain, and frustration built up in a noisy cry. He didn’t see Emily glance up at Mrs. Johnson and smile, and he missed Mrs. Johnson smiling back and nodding. “Keep going, sweetie. Don’t be satisfied with these first tears,” she yelled over the noise of the spanks and Doug’s crying. So they kept going. For Doug, the pain only mounted, and soon crying wasn’t enough. He gasped and yelled and cried all at once, his protests indeed turning into a kind of wail. At this point the women again exchanged knowing glances, and Emily happily redoubled her efforts, glad to see results so quickly. After what seemed like hours, when the spanking still showed no signs of letting up, Doug grew tired, and his cries sank into a continuous, sad whimper. Finally Mrs. Johnson nodded to Emily, who gave Doug’s inflamed bottom one more huge swat and then stopped. Doug’s whimpering continued uncontrollably. “Very nice, honey. You can be sure he’ll remember this well. At this point, with a child so big, you may just want to help him roll off your lap onto the floor, where you can rediaper him. He probably lacks the coordination right now to stand.” Emily nodded and extended her legs, letting Doug roll/slide down them onto the floor. He did, however, leave his diaper on her lap, and when Emily looked down at it, she erupted in a joyous squeal. “Look! I did it! I did it!” Mrs. Johnson looked, and sure enough, the diaper was yellow and wet where it had been white and dry before. Doug, still crying softly on the floor, also peered up and saw the wet diaper. He was surprised, as he didn’t at all remember it happening. But he told himself it would have happened to anyone who went through that spanking. Denial is often a powerful tool. “You sure did, Emily,” Mrs. Johnson was nodding her head approvingly. “Excellent job. You’re obviously a natural at this. Of course, you should be,” she said, smiling. “It’s in your genes.” Doug nearly choked. He stopped crying and stared, for the first time seeing the resemblance between them. Could it be? “You’re right about that, Mom,” Emily was saying as she wrapped up Doug’s wet diaper. “Maybe he’ll learn from it just as much as I did when I was little.” Doug blinked back his tears, trying to accept this information. But he found it hard to concentrate on such enlightening news in his exhausted and painful condition. “I don’t know, honey,” Mrs. Johnson laughed. “The situation’s a little different here; you’ll just have to trust me on that. Anyway, where is the diaper he brought with him?” “I guess it’s still in his cart out in the store,” Emily replied. “Why don’t you go get that and bring it back so we can get him dressed?” “Okay.” In a moment she had returned with the diaper, along with some powder and lotion as well. “I thought these might come in handy. They’re from aisle seven.” Mrs. Johnson smiled at Doug, who sat, sniffling, on the floor. The cold cement felt good on his hot, red bottom. “One of the benefits of being a manager.” Doug very weakly smiled back. He watched as the teenager who had first been his babysitter, then his seductress, then his disciplinarian, opened his diaper and spread it on the floor. She looked up at her mother, and said, “What we really need is a changing pad.” Mrs. Johnson nodded. “Yes, you’re right. Maybe our baby boy can remember to bring one next week so his little tushie won’t be so cold. Do you think you can remember that, young man?” “Yes, ma’am,” Doug muttered. He was thinking how dreadful it would be to come back for abuse like this weekly. “For now, though, cement will have to do,” Emily said. “Now bring that little red bottom over here, and let’s get you into this nice diaper.” Not about to object at this point, Doug scooted himself over onto the diaper and laid back against the concrete. “Ooh,” cooed Emily, as she reached out to touch his groin. “What pretty smooth skin the baby has.” Doug looked down and suddenly remembered that he was bare down there. The heat of the spanking had distracted him. He was now terribly embarrassed to have Emily see him like this. Worse than that, however, was that she was reaching out to touch him. He held his breath as she began stroking his hairless crotch, rubbing in some of the baby lotion she’d brought. Despite the embarrassment and the remaining pain, the touch felt very good to Doug. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her hands on his thighs, on his bottom, on his genitalia. It felt especially good on his hot bottom. She rubbed, or actually, caressed, him thoroughly, and in Doug’s sexually deprived state, it didn’t take much to induce some venous congestion in a particular region, announcing itself quite proudly, despite the pain and embarrassment he felt. Emily squealed again. “Look, Mom, it’s his little pee-pee! I guess you like your babysitter, don’t you?” she teased. Doug was mortified. But, then, it felt so good. So he was torn when Mrs. Johnson said, “Alright, that’s enough massaging there, Emily. It’s not nice to tease the little boy. Let’s just get his diaper on. I’ve got some things to do in my office.” So Emily quickly powdered Doug and pulled his diaper up between his legs, taping him in securely. Then she had him stand, and she pulled up his pants and buckled them, careful to tuck his shirt inside his diaper so that the diaper stuck out visibly above his belt, as it had when he’d arrived at the store. “Just continue his shopping, I guess, Emily, for now. But come see me before you check out.” With that Mrs. Johnson walked out, and Doug and Emily followed, but not before Emily flashed him a smile and whispered, “Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did, little boy. Guess next time I check your diaper you’ll be a little more cooperative.” Doug didn’t say anything. He just rubbed his diapered bottom, hot under the padding and plastic. The shopping proceeded without another incident, though Doug did have to put up with comments from Emily like, “Just think, every time you sit down this week you’ll think of me,” and “By the way, what do you use to get such a nice close shave?” followed by an outburst of giggling. But he knew better than to argue. And without too much fuss, he finished his shopping and stopped with Emily at Mrs. Johnson’s desk on the way to check out. “Oh, good, you’re here,” Mrs. Johnson said when she saw them. “Doug, I talked with your mommy, Mrs. Warren, and she wants you to bring home a slightly different load of groceries than the one you’ve selected. Don’t worry: it won’t take any more time. I’ve already had someone gather the items for you. They’re also already bagged and waiting for you, ready to go. You’ve been through enough already. All you need to do is give us a check for $37.35, and you can get on home.” Doug was, of course, surprised, and more than a little alarmed. What kind of groceries would Mrs. Warren pick out for him? He looked to his right, where Mrs. Johnson had indicated, and there was another cart standing alone, with several full bags in it. He couldn’t see what was in them. He had a feeling that he was being set up for something, but he couldn’t imagine what. At least it wasn’t more expensive than his regular groceries, and he didn’t have to spend any more time shopping. So he got out his checkbook, wrote a check, and handed it over to Mrs. Johnson. She smiled at him, which he was learning wasn’t always good for him. “Oh, just one thing: it’s asparagus you don’t like, right?” Doug nodded slowly at her, trying to figure out how she knew and why she was asking. He hoped it was so that she hadn’t picked out something he wouldn’t like. “Yes, ma’am. It makes me gag.” She smiled again. “Good, then we’re fine. Take care this week, Doug, and we’ll see you next Sunday.” “Yeah,” Emily chimed in. “I’ll see you next Sunday,” she said with a meaningful glance. Uh-oh, he thought. I don’t want to go through this again. He’d have to figure out something to say or do before then. For now, though, he just nodded and left, pushing his new cart of groceries out to the car. The plastic grocery bags were tied up, so he still couldn’t see inside. He tried to open one as he put them in his trunk, but the knots were too tight. He’d need to cut them open to see what they were. One thing was certain, however: they were very heavy. Doug climbed into his car, and his bottom protested intensely as he sat down. Damn, he thought. I hate spankings. Chapter 11 He pulled into his apartment complex and was disturbed to see Mrs. Warren’s van there. He cautiously opened the door to his apartment, and heard Mrs. Warren upstairs. This seemed like a good sign, since she wasn’t so angry that she was waiting at the door to give him another spanking. He knew she knew about his spanking at the store, and would be angry, but if she wasn’t going to spank him, he could probably tolerate it. Still, he wanted to avoid facing her, so he brought in the rest of the groceries, setting them on the counter in the kitchen. He was about to cut one of the bags open when he heard Mrs. Warren behind him. “I heard someone was a bad little boy at the grocery store today,” she commented. “Yes, Mommy,” Doug said meekly. He wanted to appear contrite and not in need of another spanking. He wanted to tell her he’d been good, but had a hunch it would get him into more trouble than just admitting wrong-doing. “Then what happened?” Mrs. Warren asked him, mostly to embarrass him, since she already knew. Doug looked down, ashamed to say it, even if she already knew. “I got a spanking, Mommy,” he murmured. “That’s what I heard,” she agreed. “It seems like someone forgot who he was for a little while. You forgot who was the little baby and who was the babysitter in charge of you. Is that what happened?” No, he wanted to say. But just to get past this embarrassing scene, he said, “Yes, Mommy.” She smiled at his passive acceptance of her interpretation. He was making this easy. “Well, maybe we need a little reminder of what a little baby we are. Luckily for you, I happen to have just the thing to help.” Doug looked up at her suspiciously. He hoped this wasn’t going where he thought it was going. “Come on upstairs, and I’ll show you.” She led him to his room, where several pairs of footed pajamas were displayed on his bed. They were all fuzzy, with babyish-looking bear imprints on the chests. Worst of all they were all an infantile pastel pink color. Mrs. Warren watched him as he stood, mouth open, gaping with shock and disappointment at his new sleepwear. “All yours,” she said pleasantly, "for a nice wholesale price. I’m sure you’ll be happy to pay it, since they can replace whatever else you were wearing to bed. And I know you’ll appreciate how they’ll help you remember your ICP role better. "They’re warm and comfy, with snaps down the front, in the crotch, and down the legs so you can change yourself easily. You wear one every night and for naps. And I will check on you to make sure you’re being a good baby. “Now come back downstairs and see what else you can do to help.” He walked downstairs with her, a bit numb from the shock of those pink sleepers, but also a bit worried about what he might find down here. “Of course,” she continued, “I would have thought diapers would have been enough, but if a client needs help, I can certainly provide it.” They walked into the kitchen. Mrs. Warren opened the cupboard. Doug was shocked to see his entire cupboard of glasses filled only with baby bottles and nipples. Mrs. Warren smiled and pulled open a drawer under the counter, exposing a stack of pink and yellow bibs. “And just to drill it into your thick little head,” she said, grabbing a pair of scissors, “you’re going to eat like a baby, too.” She cut open one of Doug’s grocery bags, showing Doug the case of Gerber’s baby food inside. Doug gasped. She opened another bag, showing him another case of the same. “This, and only this, is what you will eat for the next seven days. You must finish it all, and you may not have more. So plan carefully, and make it last. And yes, you will be punished if there are any problems with this. That is your food.” And here she cut open the last bag, exposing a case of dry baby formula. "And this is the only thing you are allowed to drink,” she continued. “There is plenty here, and you are welcome to drink as much or as little as you like of this. But you may not have anything else to drink, not even water.” Doug continued to stare, open-mouthed. What did THAT stuff taste like?! “By the way, I’d advise you to mix it with this Metamucil if you’re having trouble meeting your messy diaper quota. I doubt there’s much fiber in here. Obviously, you must wear a bib for all meals, and drink your formula from these bottles. I’ve checked your refrigerator, so I know what’s there. I’ll check again at the end of the week,” she finished. “Any questions?” Doug wanted to cry. But he didn’t want to object. In a way he knew he should still be grateful he wasn’t getting a spanking. To her, he whispered, “No, Mommy.” “Good. Call me before dinner, and I’ll come check on you. Have a nice afternoon.” Doug was left alone to stare at his punishment. He was not happy about this: could he even tolerate eating the baby food, let alone the formula? Maybe it depended on what flavors he had. He suddenly got a bad feeling, remembering Mrs. Johnson’s strange question at the store. He peeked in the bag. There was an assortment, but at least a quarter of the baby food was strained asparagus. That was just too much. Doug sat down on the kitchen floor and cried. How could they be so mean to him? What had he ever done to deserve it? This punishment, like his earlier spanking, was especially frustrating because it came after he had tried to be a good boy, much as he hated it. It seemed like he couldn’t win. And forcing him to eat asparagus, which he really did gag on, simply seemed cruel. But what could he do about it? It always came down to that. And the answer today, he knew, must be the same as any other day: nothing. He had to obey. He’d come pretty far in this program, farther than he thought he could come, and if he could just hold on a few more months, it would all be over. Before dinner he dutifully called Mrs. Warren, who arrived in time to help him with his first baby meal. He chose a yellow bib with a bunny on the front, the most innocuous of the choices, and tied it around his neck awkwardly. He sat down with three jars of baby food, which Mrs. Warren had “kindly” helped him to pick out, telling him he should choose a meat, a vegetable, and a fruit. He stared at the labels she chose: liver, asparagus, and bananas. Next to these was a bottle of warm formula. He opened the jars and smelled the first, liver. It smelled putrid. It couldn’t be edible. But Mrs. Warren was watching with a big smile on her face, so he pinched his nose and gulped down a bite. It still tasted horrible, even without the smell. But he grimaced and kept going. By the end of the first jar, tears ran down his face. He interrupted each bite with a suck from his bottle, which, although not appealing, was nonetheless better than the baby food. Mrs. Warren cheered him along the way, adding to Doug’s humiliation by snapping several pictures of him in this new degradation. Doug knew that these would be added to the others, and used if he ever decided to rebel. He fought his way through the asparagus, gagging several times when he accidently caught a whiff of what he tried to force down his own throat. Finally, with some trepidation, he tried the banana. That turned out to be pretty good, relatively speaking, he thought. The consistency could have been better, but it was otherwise palatable. He finished his meal meekly, received congratulations from his “mommy,” and retired to watch TV after she left. He was still hungry, so he brought in his bottle and sucked on it until he got sleepy and wet. He changed his diaper, and put on one of his new pink sleepers. He wasn’t surprised to find that they fit perfectly, and though the thought of how Mrs. Warren had gotten his measurements passed fleetingly through his mind, he ignored it. Her ability to know and control every aspect of his life did not amaze him any more. Before going to sleep for the night, he stared at himself in the bedroom mirror. He couldn’t really believe what he saw. Before him, where two months ago had stood a grown man, now stood what looked like a little toddler. Today he’d been spanked and diapered by a stranger, had eaten baby food, worn a bib, drunk formula from a bottle, and was now staring at himself dressed in a fuzzy pink sleeper, the bulge of his diaper clearly visible in his groin and his bottom. He shook his head. What else could possibly happen to him? And could he manage to make it through this week? He could, as it turned out. But the days dragged on forever, it seemed. He ate lunch at home every day, since he couldn’t possibly wear a bib or drink from a bottle at work. Every meal was an ordeal which repeatedly reminded him never to question the women around him who wanted to humiliate him. This week essentially taught him that pride had become expendable to him. He’d much rather eat palatable food than to raise any more objections. His planned orgasm this week was even more wonderful than last week, because in addition to the physical sensations he experienced, the event also was coming to symbolize a measure of sweet defiance for him, however brief or insignificant. It was now the only aspect of his life over which he exerted even a minimal amount of control. He enjoyed getting away with such a big infraction in the face of the all-powerful Mrs. Warren. And once again, the plan was executed flawlessly. The following Sunday Mrs. Warren asked him if he’d learned his lesson. “Yes, Mommy.” “Good boy. You can go back to eating grown-up food and using grown-up glasses for now. But I think we’ll keep wearing the bib for all meals at home and your cute little PJs for bed, just as a continuing reminder. Maybe then you won’t get into trouble again. “And in the future, if you do have any other memory problems, we might add the food or bottles back for a little while, or permanently. So be good. Oh, and I think we’ll have to keep you on probation for a while now. You’re obviously not disciplined enough yet to be trusted.” Doug was both disappointed and relieved. Thank goodness the food and bottles were out of his life, but he hadn’t wanted to continue with the bibs or the sleepers either. But he just nodded his head. “Okay, Mommy.” “Good boy. And good luck this afternoon at the store. Please try to be a good boy.” Doug took a deep breath. What would happen today, and what should he do about Emily? Doug saw a smile spread across Emily’s face as she walked over to meet him at the customer service desk. He wondered what she had in mind for today. It didn’t matter. He’d long since decided that he wouldn’t protest a thing she did today. He’d tried being good, and the outcome had been disappointing enough as to dissuade him from attempting that again. He hadn’t even wanted to be good in the first place, for goodness sake. So today, he’d go with the flow, and just enjoy it. The result had to be better than last week. “Hi, Doug!” she said. “I hope you’re in a more…cooperative mood today.” She wore the confident expression of a young woman who knew that she could get whatever she wanted. She was about to say something else, but Mrs. Johnson caught sight of Doug and interrupted. “Well, hello, little Doug. Are you going to be a good boy today?” “Yes, ma’am,” Doug said sincerely. “Good. Did you remember a changing pad this week, just in case?” “Yes, ma’am,” Doug answered, holding forward his lovely pink diaper bag, out of which peeked a vinyl changing pad. He’d given up and just decided to bring the whole bag. It wasn’t any more embarrassing than carrying around a clean diaper. “Excellent. That should be more comfortable for you than the cold cement. And what a pretty bag for a little boy,” she cooed, and Doug felt himself turning red. “Alright, you two can get to shopping. Just check in before you leave. Emily, let me know if you need the stockroom key again.” “Okay, Mom,” Emily said. She and Doug, as usual, headed toward the produce section. “Mom told me about your special groceries last week,” she said with a smirk. “Were they good?” Doug shook his head. “No,” he said with a definite air of resentment. It was mostly her fault. “No, what?” Emily prompted with a smile. She loved this. Doug stared at her for a second, confused. Then he understood. “No, ma’am,” he mumbled gruffly. She didn’t deserve the full treatment. Emily, however, believed that she did. She grabbed his arm. “Hey. You be respectful to me, young man. I’m just dying to get more practice in that back room. Now answer my question again.” Doug turned toward his pretty, young, and tormenting babysitter. He was embarrassed to have to obey her every whim, but he was trapped and he knew it. “No, ma’am, I didn’t enjoy my food this week.” He paused, then decided to confront her. “Why’d you do that to me, anyway?” She snorted. “You shouldn’t question me. I’m the babysitter, and that’s my job. Sometimes babies need spankings.” “I’m not a baby,” he objected, though he could have guessed her response even before she said it. “Oh, no,” she replied sarcastically. “You just wet your pants, wear diapers, eat baby food, and have a babysitter. But you’re not a baby. What would you call yourself?” Doug shook his head, and turned to continue shopping. She was right. He couldn’t explain his situation rationally. He didn’t know what he’d call it, anyway, other than absurd. “That’s what I thought,” she said. A silent moment was followed by a chuckle. “Did you like the asparagus?” Doug scowled at her. “No, ma’am.” “Then maybe you’ll be a good boy and do what I tell you today.” Her expression lightened. “And, hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fun!” That was likely to be true, Doug admitted to himself. He started to get nervous as they approached the back hallway. “Well,” she said. “Let’s go check you out!” She reached out a hand for Doug, who rather reluctantly took it and followed. He tried to take deep breaths and relax, but he was already extremely anxious, and could feel a raging erection form within his diaper. They went to the hallway, where Doug obediently pulled down his pants, as he had in previous weeks. Emily knelt before him to begin her “examination.” She closed her eyes and started stroking the front of his diaper, this time dispensing with the charade of “checking” the back of his diaper. He could barely feel her touch through the thick disposable material, but what he could feel excited him even more. It built and built as she continued stroking him through the plastic and padding. He was breathing heavily and was almost near climax by the time Emily said, “Oh, I definitely need to look inside today. Any objections?” She looked up at him with a coy, questioning glance. “No, ma’am,” Doug said quietly. He stared ahead, back toward where the hallway led to the rest of the store. Because they were beyond a turn in the hall, he couldn’t see the store from where they were, but he wondered what would happen if somebody walked in on them. Employees had to come back here, Doug thought. But Emily did not seem to be concerned, and perhaps she knew the store better than he. Doug, at any rate, could hardly do anything about it. He, too, closed his eyes so he wouldn’t think about it. Emily carefully pulled one tape loose, then the other, then slowly lowered the front of Doug’s diaper to reveal his hairless groin and genitalia. His erection, freed from its confines, sprung up energetically and surprised Emily. “Oh!” she exclaimed, then started laughing. “Oh, so that’s how you feel! I can’t believe you put up such a fuss last week.” She giggled. “But it actually doesn’t matter, you know. I’m the babysitter, and we’ll do whatever I want to do.” Doug opened his eyes briefly and nearly fainted when he saw Emily actually lick her lips. “And what I want to do…is see what happens when I do this…” With that she reached out with one hand and stroked Doug’s penis. He closed his eyes again. It felt so good to be touched. He moaned quietly; it had been so long. Emily giggled softly as she heard it. “See? I told you it’d be fun. You just have to be a good little baby and do whatever I say…” “I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” a stern voice boomed from behind Emily. Doug snapped open his eyes to see an angry Mrs. Johnson towering over the kneeling Emily, who shrieked and lost her balance, falling backward onto the floor at her mother’s feet. “I…I…I…was just…um…well, I…” Emily stuttered. Doug awkwardly covered himself with his diaper, retaping it as best he could over a rapidly disappearing erection. Oh, boy, he thought. This was going to be bad. What would happen to him now? How could he ever explain this? He took a deep breath. Two Sundays in a row… “I can see what you were just doing, young lady. And last time I checked that was not on the list of babysitting duties!” Doug let out his breath slowly. Wait a minute, he thought. She seemed to be pissed off at Emily. That was strange. Emily, too, realized where the anger seemed to be directed, and her eyes widened in fear. “It wasn’t me, Mom, I swear. He wanted to do it. He made me! He’s a horrible little baby!” she said. Doug’s heart sank at this: of course he would get blamed. It didn’t matter who was at fault, because he would never be believed. He had no credibility. “Really, Emily. Doug, whom you were babysitting, made you, his babysitter, do that? Emily, don’t embarrass yourself. I heard the whole thing. I know exactly what you were doing.” As that information sank in, Doug saw Emily’s face drain of all color. Fear grew in her eyes. It began to dawn on Doug that Emily’s ploy to blame him had not worked, and that she was still on the hot seat. Could he be spared today? He wanted to clarify this, to ask whether he was in trouble, too, but one look at Mrs. Johnson’s fearsome expression convinced him to lie low. She was fuming, her eyes ablaze. “Let me tell you something, young lady. Being in charge of a baby, even this kind of baby, is a huge responsibility. Because in this relationship his judgment counts for nothing, and yours counts for everything. You have to think for both of you, and he is forced to trust that you’ll do what’s right.” Mrs. Johnson was only getting more angry as she went along. “Sometimes that might mean a spanking for him. But it never means sex with him, do you understand? Never. Emily Johnson, breaking a child’s trust is the worst thing you could ever possibly do. And by taking advantage of his helplessness, that’s exactly what you have done.” Mrs. Johnson was pacing now, worked up into a frightful rage. Emily was watching, and was clearly scared to death. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” she said in a small voice that struck Doug as being very different from her normal tone. Now she sounded like a child. “Well, that’s great, Emily. That helps him a lot now,” Mrs. Johnson said sarcastically. “I was trying to use Doug last week in a way that would benefit Doug and be fun for us as well. But that form of teaching doesn’t seem to sink in very well for you, does it? I guess you’re not mature enough to appreciate it, are you?” She stopped pacing and stared at Emily. “No, ma’am,” Emily said quietly. She’d already guessed how this would end, having experienced this type of situation many times throughout her childhood. Doug, however, had no idea where this was headed. He did recognize Emily’s attempt to express regret and obedience in the face of a mother’s wrath, since he tried that same tact with Mrs. Warren. He watched the proceedings nervously, still unsure of his own fate. “I guess we’ll have to go back to our old way of teaching you, won’t we? It sure worked for all those years. I don’t know why I ever abandoned it. I don’t care if your dates knew that’s why you had to be home on time; it was still damned effective. It’s the only thing that ever worked for you, isn’t it?” “Yes, ma’am.” Emily hung her head. Doug’s curiosity grew. Could they be talking about what he thought they were talking about? He’d wondered about this mother-daughter relationship before. Some of their comments seemed to have suggested Emily having been spanked in the past, but he’d assumed it had been ancient history, the normal and uncommon early childhood punishment. This exchange implied more, much more, as if spanking were a regular part of Emily’s teenage years as well. No wonder Emily was so interested in it today. But he’d have time to think about that later. Right now, Mrs. Johnson was pulling out her keys. She found the one she was looking for, and crisply opened the stockroom door behind them. With a backward glance, she said, “Come on, you two.” Doug’s heart pounded. Both of them? Was he, despite his clear innocence, going to receive a spanking today as well? He watched Emily get up and trudge into the darkness of the room beyond. Doug followed her, shuffling towards the door, his pants still down around his ankles. He dared not pull them up until he was told. But Mrs. Johnson stopped him before he went in. “You can pull up your pants, Doug. You’re just a victim today, not a criminal, so you won’t be punished. But I would like you to see that even big kids get spanked if they need it, so I want you to watch.” Something small changed inside Doug at that moment. Up until now, everything he had experienced had been directed, somewhat maliciously, at him. If there was a dispute, he was wrong. If anyone was angry, it was at him. It had seemed that the whole world existed simply to humiliate and punish him. He had been alone. And up until three minutes ago, today seemed to continue in that mold, placing him in a no-win situation where anything he did was punishable. But things had suddenly changed. He wasn’t being spanked unjustly! He felt nearly gleeful as he pulled up and rebuckled his pants over his diaper. But almost immediately, his heart went out to Emily, for he knew the fear and unhappiness that she was feeling at this moment. As much as he resented her abuse of him, he wouldn’t wish his experiences on anyone. He would even have tried to help her, but he knew that he was powerless to do so. Pleading for mercy for Emily would probably lead to a spanking for him as well, and that wouldn’t make anybody’s day better. Mrs. Johnson waited patiently for him to finish getting dressed, watching as he carefully adjusted his diaper so that it would be visible to other shoppers when they returned to the store. She followed him into the stockroom, flipping on the lights and letting the door close behind her. She strode purposefully to the chair by the wall, the same chair that Emily had sat in one week ago, and pulled it out from the wall before stiffly seating herself in it. Emily lingered several feet away, eyes downcast, sniffling quietly. Doug stared at her, noticing that she, like him, wore jeans, and wondering if, like him, she would have to pull them down. Against his will, an erection began forming at this thought. “Let’s go, young lady. You should know the drill,” Mrs. Johnson said sharply to her daughter. “Get those jeans down.” Doug stood transfixed at the image of his tormentor unbuttoning and lowering her pants to her ankles. She turned away from him, and an occasional shy glance toward Doug indicated her embarrassment about this situation. Doug saw her adjust her pink flowered underpants self-consciously. Mrs. Johnson saw this, too. “Being embarrassed should be the least of your worries, little girl. He’s just a baby, remember? He doesn’t care how you look. And anyway, as interested as you were in seeing him, don’t you think he’s earned reciprocity? Pull those underpants down immediately.” “But Mom…” Emily whined.“But, nothing!” Mrs. Johnson exclaimed, rising in a surprisingly fluid motion, reaching over and grabbing Emily’s elbow, swinging her around and swatting her forcefully on her bottom through her panties. “Don’t try any backtalk today, little girl. I’m not in the mood.” “Yes, ma’am,” Emily said, her voice trembling from embarrassment, pain, and probably some angry frustration. She was too old to be treated like this. After another shy glance toward Doug she slipped her fingers inside her waistband and eased her panties down her legs. Doug again stared, and he couldn’t help but admire her athletic buttocks and legs. It was a great view of what was soon to be a very red and sore rear end. Emily stood awkwardly, no doubt feeling Doug’s eyes sweeping her body. “Come on over,” Mrs. Johnson told her, and Emily, after only a brief pause, slowly shuffled to just outside of an arm’s length of her mother, naturally wary of coming any closer. But Mrs. Johnson’s eyes narrowed at her, and Emily forced her legs to edge forward just a bit… An arm shot up, grabbing one of Emily’s wrists and pulling her forcefully over Mrs. Johnson’s lap. Emily screamed and flailed but could do nothing to prevent herself from landing smack dab across her mother's thighs, right where Mrs. Johnson wanted her. “Told you it worked,” Mrs. Johnson commented wryly. And true to form, Mrs. Johnson next sharply demanded, “Do you know why you need this spanking, little girl?” Her right hand was poised above Emily’s vulnerable and tender bottom. “Yes, ma’am,” Emily called out in a trembling voice. “Go ahead.” “…Because I was bad. I was playing with the baby’s little thing, and that’s wrong.” “You’d better believe it. And this ought to show you just how wrong it was.” And Mrs. Johnson let her hand drop, releasing a mighty blow to Emily’s bottom. Doug flinched out of habit, and Emily cried out. Doug could see the fear on her face as she awaited the next spank. It came several seconds later, and the others were also well spaced out, in order to let the sting of each sink in before the next, Doug assumed. He watched grimly as the tempo of the paddling increased. Unconsciously his hands found his own (well-padded) bottom and rubbed it repeatedly. Relief that it wasn’t him again flooded through him, as well as some inexplicable guilt (it certainly wasn’t his fault) and more understandable pity. This wasn’t as difficult as having a spanking himself, but watching wasn’t turning out to be any fun either. As he watched, he could tell as Emily entered all the stages he had experienced the week before: first simple crying, then screaming, then wailing, and finally a hopeless, defeated whimper of exhaustion that convinced Mrs. Johnson to ease and finally to stop the furious onslaught. Emily, like Doug before her, was dumped on the floor and spent a moment crying before she became alert enough to pull up her panties and jeans. Unlike Doug, Emily had not had an accident during her spanking, despite what had to have been an equally traumatic experience. Doug wouldn’t think about this until several months later. Mrs. Johnson stood and brushed herself off, replaced her chair by the wall, and approached Doug. He was understandably somewhat scared of her right now, despite her earlier reassurances, and couldn’t help backing away from her, but Mrs. Johnson knelt down and beckoned him forward, as with a shy child. Doug was surprised to see her face filled with tenderness. “By the way, did something like what happened today out in the hall also happen last week?” she asked him gently. Doug stared at the floor and nodded silently. “And that’s what you were trying to tell me last week?” He stared at Emily, standing now and rubbing the seat of her pants and still sniffling. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly. “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t listen,” Mrs. Johnson replied sincerely. “I don’t think it will happen again.” Doug nodded silently at this promise, inferring from the way it was said that Emily would no longer be his babysitter. This was comforting in a way, but strangely, Doug wasn’t entirely pleased by this. And indeed, the homely girl was called to finish escorting him around the store. As Doug retrieved his cart, he caught sight of Mrs. Johnson leading Emily out of the store, and he correctly concluded that that was the last he’d see of Emily, at least in the foreseeable future. The grocery store would become a less threatening, but also, he had to admit, a less exciting place to shop from now on. That night Doug had trouble sleeping. The day’s events seemed to replay themselves continuously in his head. The whole experience had left him feeling disturbed and unhappy, but it took him a lot of thinking to figure out why. He knew it had to do with the whole Johnson attitude about spankings and the way Mrs. Johnson treated her daughter. Considering how many times Emily must have been beaten by her mother as she grew up, Doug suspected that he couldn’t really comprehend the many ways she’d been affected by such continuous violence. Perhaps it was only natural that Emily should at times obsess about spankings. He decided he wouldn’t try to judge her, as he’d been tempted to do before. But there were still so many unanswered questions. For instance, why was she turned on by it? How had she sexualized her painful experiences? At times, such as last week, she seemed downright sadistic. Is that what excessive spanking does to a kid? Doug wondered. He could easily imagine Mrs. Johnson being abusive, despite her facade of “caring” about a child’s well-being. Was this an example of passing down abusive behavior from one generation to the next? How would Emily treat her children? And how would she have treated him? What had she been looking for with him? A playmate for S&M games? A baby to abuse? Someone with whom to share the pain of her upbringing? They had already shared many strange experiences; what might they have shared if things had happened differently? It was sad, really: it had only been today that Doug had realized what similar situations they were in, and suddenly, before he could explore the possibilities or answer any of the questions, Emily was snatched away. He didn’t know where she lived or went to school, how old she was, or how she felt about any of this, including him. She didn’t know anything about him, either. Their only link was through Mrs. Johnson, who obviously wasn’t going to help get them together. So Doug doubted that he’d ever find answers to his questions, or even see Emily again. What a rare opportunity she had been. How sad to have lost her. Chapter 12 After he’d been in diapers for two months, Doug hardly noticed them anymore, and, in fact, was mostly unaware of using them as well. They were so thick and absorbent that he couldn’t feel when he was wet; instead he had to look at the indicator stripe. Because this would have been awkward at work, he had begun changing himself with such regularity as to avoid the possibility of leaking. This method also had the effect of making how much and when he actually wet his diaper nearly irrelevant. And this eventually led to Doug’s paying less and less attention to the event, so that soon he didn’t even notice when he did it. BMs, on the other hand, were different. He usually felt them coming, and sometimes stood up or squatted to facilitate their passage. And though he hardly noticed that neither wetting nor messing required his attention anymore, this would have been fine with him. In his view, as long as he had to wear diapers, he might as well enjoy the freedom they gave him. Since control of his bladder and bowels didn’t help him at all right now and would now simply be a nuisance, he never even tried any more. It’s interesting that Doug never considered the implications of this; if he ever noticed that he wasn’t controlling himself these days, it didn’t bother him. He assumed it was like riding a bike, in that if it ever mattered again, he could do it on command. And currently, there were no such demands. Besides, the time for worrying about such things was still months ahead. The last two weeks, since he’d last seen Emily, had been pretty easy, if a little boring. But in this situation, where excitement usually meant punishment, he’d gladly take boring. He’d had no trouble with Mrs. Warren, uneventful grocery shopping trips, and an easy time at work. He’d been a good boy, of course, (except for his weekly indiscretion of sexual release) so the lack of punishment should have been no surprise. But with someone as strict as Mrs. Warren, he could never tell. He certainly hadn’t seen that bowel encouragement thing coming either. Being a good boy now meant wearing his new pink sleepers nightly, and although this was, of course, grating to him, if that was all it took to make Mrs. Warren happy, then so be it. It was a small price to pay. As luck would have it, however, Doug’s life was just about to get much less pleasant today. He came home from the lab this afternoon a little later than usual, and was mildly alarmed to see Mrs. Warren’s diaper van parked outside. Knowing that he’d done nothing out of the ordinary wrong, he curiously entered his apartment to find her seated at the dining room table, reading a magazine. “Hi,” he said, putting his diaper bag down on a table. “You’re late,” she commented cheerlessly. “Yeah, missed my bus,” he said, sensing something was wrong. “What’s, um, going on?” “We need to talk,” she said, putting her magazine away. “Okay,” he said cautiously, sitting down on the sofa nearest the dining area. “No,” she said, patting her lap crisply. “I need you over my knee for this talk.” Doug’s heart pounded. He was suddenly tense. “Why?” he asked. “Come on over first,” she said. “Then we’ll talk.” He looked down and shook his head in frustration. What had he done wrong this time? “But why?” She glared at him. “I want you OVER MY KNEE. Now. OR ELSE.” He half snorted. “What could be worse than this?” “You don’t want to know. NOW.” Doug’s eyes teared up slightly as he stood up and slowly waddled over. He stared at the floor, mad and confused. Things had been going so well. When he stood in front of her, she said, “Pants down first.” Slowly he undid his belt and pants and dropped them to the floor, leaving him with just his diaper, which happened to be half-wet. “Your diaper clean?” she asked, turning her chair away from the table to face him. He looked. “A little wet,” he murmured in reply, resigned now to his fate. But why? he wondered. “That’s okay,” she said, and lifted her arms so he could lay on her lap, which he did gingerly. She lifted him off the floor with her knees, rendering him helpless, and told him to grab the chair legs to keep his hands out of the way. “Now,” she said. “We can talk. Tell me about the toilet paper.” “What?” Doug asked, hoping to God she didn’t mean what he thought she meant. An answer to his question came in the form of his tapes being undone and the rear of his diaper being pulled down to reveal his damp, powdered buttocks. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! He gasped with each spank, trying not to cry already. “I said, tell me about the toilet paper. Where did you get it? How’d you get it home?” He realized that he had, in fact, been nailed. Somehow she knew, and she had him in the perfect position to extract whatever information she wanted. He could see himself getting into even worse trouble if he tried to stall or lie. He knew he didn’t have much of a choice: anything was better than a spanking. So he caved in. Damage control. “I…I got it from work. I snuck it home in my shoes,” he sniffed. “In your shoes?” He hated to give this away. “In my toes. I was going to tell you it was so my shoes would fit.” “Aren’t you smart. And where did you hide them here at home, until you used them?” He paused. If he’d been given any time at all to prepare for this inquisition, he could have made something up to protect his precious system. But he couldn’t make stuff up while he lay, so vulnerably, in this position. Another spank fell on his bottom before he nearly yelled, “In the bottom of a cereal box.” The spanks ceased. Telling the truth may be bad in the long run, he thought, but it’s certainly better in the short-term. “And what, young man, did you use the toilet paper for? Don’t lie to me…” Mrs. Warren warned, rubbing his already-red buttocks with her hand. “For…for, um, you know,” he whined. “I couldn’t help it. I had to. It’s too hard not to.” He started crying softly. His life sucked. “I know,” she said, soothingly continuing to rub his bottom. It felt nice. “It’s hard, isn’t it? But say the words. What did you do?” “I…played with myself,” he confessed, once again humiliated by her. When she didn’t say anything, he kept going. Might as well. “Then…I stuffed the toilet paper into an old Coke can and put it in the trash so you wouldn’t find it.” He stopped crying, waiting to see what she’d say. She didn’t seem mad. She wasn’t mad, in fact; she was, rather, feeling triumphant. She’d known for quite a while that Doug had to be engaging in some sort of illicit masturbatory behavior, but it had taken more than two weeks to find the evidence. She’d seen lots of intricate plans, from every single one of her babies, so she’d known he’d have one and that it was her job to find it. The discovery of the Coke can had been the result of long, hard work on the part of herself and her several inspectors. It was a tedious, dirty process, but critical to the long-term success of her programs. Her boys had to be kept sexually frustrated so that they’d break the rules and need to be punished. Otherwise they could come close to “graduating.” Her babies could be as good as they wanted, but none could abstain totally from sexual gratification, not when they were taped into the object of their desire. But she still didn’t know the rest of the plan, or the details of how many times Doug had gotten away with this. Luckily, that didn’t matter. She’d bluff. “But I did find it, didn’t I?” she asked him, as if he were a toddler. “I always know, Doug, always.” He was beginning to believe her. He couldn’t get away with anything. She was too smart. He’d never try anything again. Ever. “Now tell me, young man, how many times you touched yourself and ejaculated. I already know, because I counted. But I want to see if I need to punish you for lying to me as well.” Doug was trapped. He had no way of knowing what she knew and what she didn’t know. But if history were any guide, then she probably knew. And while she didn’t seem mad now, he bet that if he lied to her and she knew, she’d be very angry. Then he’d get a spanking for sure. So he told the truth. “Four times,” he said, after counting. “But that’s all. And really, I just couldn’t help it!” “I know, I know,” she cooed to him, watching him squirm on her lap. “That’s a good little boy for telling Mommy. And don’t worry. We’ll help you with that little problem. But first tell me: were you a good boy or a naughty boy for touching yourself there?” Doug stared at the floor. She was heading toward something. He’d been in this ICP long enough to know that. But where? He had to play her little degrading game before he found out. He hated it. “Naughty, Mommy.” She kept rubbing his bottom tenderly. “Yes,” she agreed. “Only big boys who don’t have accidents and who wear big boy underpants get to touch themselves like that. You’re just a little baby who wears diapers. You’re only allowed to use your pee-pee for making Number One. You’re not allowed to touch it for any other reason. That’s right, isn’t it?” “Yes, Mommy,” Doug conceded. “And what happens to naughty boys?” “They get punished,” he said, knowing that was what he had to say. “Right,” she said. "In fact, you clearly need a spanking. “And we’ll give you that spanking in just a minute. But first, you need to make a choice about what kind of punishment you’ll get after that. I’ve found that if you help decide how you’ll be punished, you learn better from it afterward. So pay attention while I give you your choices.” Doug groaned inwardly. "Since you were naughty four different times, we’ll use a “four” theme in your punishment. You have a choice of getting one spanking a day for four days, or of wearing a chastity device for four weeks. The first choice will ideally make you question whether the few seconds of pleasure you had was worth the many days of pain you’ll experience. You know that you can feel the effects from one of my spankings for several days. Just imagine what it must feel like to get one every day for most of a week. It’s designed to make you think about what you’ve done for a long time.” That sounded horrible to Doug. “The second option is the more responsible one, in my opinion. It attacks the problem at its root and prevents it from happening again. So, you get to decide now. Four days, or four weeks?” Doug was silent. Upside down on Mrs. Warren’s lap, he was extremely tempted to choose anything that didn’t involve spankings. He’d already learned to avoid those at all cost. Yet the idea of spending four weeks without an opportunity to release some of the sexual excitement caused by diapers and his relative celibacy was inhumane. He’d die, he knew. At least with the spankings he’d get the whole thing over with and could figure out a new plan. With any luck he could be “active” again inside the week. “Work on his problem.” Hah! His only problem was her. So as much as he hated to walk right into getting a spanking (or four!) he knew he couldn’t face up to the other choice. “I think I’ll go with the spankings,” he told the floor at which he was staring. Mrs. Warren had continued to rub his bottom, but now she suddenly stopped. “Doug, I’m disappointed in you,” Mrs. Warren said coldly. “That choice was a test to see if you were mature enough to take your sick little problem seriously. I offered you an easy way, without punishment after today, of getting a jump on addressing your problem, but rather than confront your dirty habit, you decided to choose unbearable pain. Do you know how pathetic that is?” She snorted derisively. “Well, if you want pain, I’ll give you all the pain you can handle, and probably more. You’ll get all those spankings. But if you won’t face your problem, then as your Mommy it’s my responsibility to help you face it, whether you want to or not. So in addition to your precious spankings, you’ll wear the chastity device for a month anyway.” Doug gasped. That was inhuman. Given the choice of two horrible punishments, he’d chosen, only to be given both. It was too much. He screamed and kicked, trying to push himself off her knees. “Nooooo!” he yelled. She somehow elevated her knees so he couldn’t manage to touch anything, and gave his rear end a dozen hard swats with her strong, bare hand. He was soon reduced to tears. “You’ve now earned yourself six full weeks in the chastity device. Care to go for two months? Three months? There’s no limit. Or perhaps you’d like a week’s worth of spankings. That can easily be arranged as well. Would you like to shoot for that? Or are you grateful with the punishment you’ve been given?” He was crying hard now, from the pain, from the realization of how horrible his life would be for the next months, and from the utter futility of his situation. He was so completely powerless. “Are you?” she was demanding. “Are you happy with your punishment?” “Yes,” he choked. “Yes, Mommy. Please.” “Good boy. Okay, we’ll keep it at that for now. But that could change, depending on your behavior, especially if I think you’re not grateful for my help in this matter. Tomorrow we’ll start with the first of your four spankings, and in a minute I’ll help you into your chastity device, but first I promised you a spanking today. And I hate to disappoint.” At this Doug cried harder than ever, even before she began striking his bottom. He’d forgotten about this spanking during the talk about the other punishments. He was pretty much in pieces during the whole thing. She interspersed her blows with questions like whether touching himself had been worth it, and if he still wanted to touch himself now. But he hardly heard her. He was bawling insensibly when she finished and dumped him on the floor with his half-wet diaper still between his legs. He just sat on the floor, crying and rubbing one cheek at a time while Mrs. Warren wasn’t watching. She was rummaging through her purse for something. He almost wasn’t aware of what was happening when she came to him and gently pushed him to the floor on his back. He didn’t care. He just laid back obediently and kept crying. She took what she had brought with her and unlocked something. She made him spread his legs, and she smoothed out his diaper underneath him. The device was a short, curved sheath, shaped like a cylinder with both ends open, but tapered sharply at the far end. She easily slid it over Doug’s flaccid penis, and tightened a small screw near the base so that it fit snugly, then secured it with a small but sturdy lock. She then took two other straps and ran them around his thighs, securing them also to the base of the sheath with another lock. Finally, one last strap ran around his waist and secured the sheath from above. Thus, the sheath was fastened to his genitalia and could not be removed from any direction. She once again checked the straps, and then inspected the sheath, where she saw that Doug’s penis still had a quarter inch or so to `breathe’ at the end. "Doug, pay attention. Let me explain to you how this device works. There is a sheath around your pee-pee. It feels soft on the inside, because there is a nice waterproof gel there that ought to be very comfortable when you pee-pee is this size. But notice that the sheath isn’t very long, it’s curved, and it gets skinny at the end. If your pee-pee should for any reason get any bigger, it will be forced to curve around, and push against the skinny wall at the end. This shape simply won’t accomodate an erection of any size at all. You will also discover that, beneath the nice soft gel, are hidden tiny prickly-feeling spikes. They don’t hurt you now, but if the fit gets any tighter, I have reliable sources tell me that it becomes very painful. "These features will effectively dissuade you from trying to get an erection. And if you do manage even a small one, it will be more painful than it is pleasurable. This is called classical conditioning, and you don’t need to know that much about it. Just know that the pain you feel will convince you that erections are bad, painful things. My experience tells me that this association will persist even after we take the device off, if we decide to do that. So this is why this device is such an effective treatment for your problem. “Just for fun, to make sure that the conditioning is reinforced often, I had the thigh straps put on. They tug at the sheath and its contents whenever you walk or move. The gel is apparently so comfortable that many of my babies have had trouble with becoming aroused whenever they walk. This, of course, leads to pain, which reinforces the lesson that genital stimulation is bad. It is a lesson you will learn well in the next six weeks.” She smiled at Doug, who was now sitting up and staring at this contraption which encased his groin. He was amazed. He didn’t think this type of thing existed. Of course, he had been naive about a lot of things before Mrs. Warren had come into his life. Mrs. Warren shook her head. She could never get over her admiration for whoever had designed this little beast. It was perfect. She just wished she had more of them to go around. She pulled up Doug’s diaper between his legs and taped it tightly. “You don’t have to worry about chafing. Just use lots of powder and lotion under the straps when you can. I will let you out every few days to clean and powder your penis for a moment and put lotion on it if you want. Otherwise, the device is totally waterproof, which means you don’t have to worry about peeing in it, showering in it, etc. It’s darn near indestructible.” She stood and walked over to her purse. “And the best part it, you don’t have to take it off to give a spanking.” She put her black purse over her shoulder, and turned toward the door. Then she turned back. “Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve decided you clearly need better reminders of how old you are, since you were playing with yourself like a big boy. So we’ll go back to the bibs and bottles. I’ve removed all of your glasses, so you need to do all of your drinking from your bottles now. And bibs at every meal. Okay? Okay. Goodbye, Doug. I’ll see you tomorrow night for your “first” spanking. Until then, be good.” Mrs. Warren laughed and winked as she left. Doug sat in his diaper on the floor and stared at the door long after she’d left. Doug’s next week, simply put, was hell. For five days he received an unforgettable series of spankings that left him sore for nearly two weeks afterward. And things didn’t really get better after that. Mrs. Warren’s chastity device, unfortunately, turned out to be everything she’d said it was, and more. Early and exhaustive experimentation early on proved it to be inescapable. He was definitely stuck in it for the duration. The sheath itself wasn’t really uncomfortable, as long as Doug’s penis was flaccid. It fit well, and there was very little chafing. But he soon grew to hate the straps that ran around each of his thighs and attached to the sheath. With every step, they tugged the sheath from side to side, gently massaging Doug’s penis against the smooth gel of the sheath. In his deprived, excitable state (which only worsened, of course, as time went on), it led quickly and efficiently to the beginnings of an erection, which was just as quickly and efficiently terminated by what felt like a thousand needles digging into his penis. He had no idea how it worked, what was under the gel, or why it never seemed to draw blood. But it was undeniably present, and excruciatingly painful. It happened nearly every time he walked, and when the pain hit, he’d literally double over and have to fight a yelp of distress. After the better part of a minute, the venous congestion would disperse, and the pain would abate; he would straighten up and walk for another few steps until it happened again. And so, yes, he began to hate and fear these mini-erections, despite his knowledge that it was not erections per se that were painful, that he was only being made to feel this way by Mrs. Warren. But what could he do? With every step he took, the association of sexual stimulation and intense pain was etched more and more clearly into his consciousness. And he indeed found himself swearing to himself that he’d never have another erection again, if only the pain would end. He made such oaths despite the fact that he knew he wouldn’t be able to follow up on them later. He knew his resolve wasn’t that strong, that he’d eventually have to give in to his desires and masturbate again. But those straps hurt him. In addition to the torment caused by the chastity device, he also had to deal with the ongoing humiliation of having to drink from a baby bottle, even at work. He was forced to bring a bottle from home, hide it under his desk, and surreptitiously suck on it when he was thirsty or at lunch. He constantly lived in fear of being discovered by coworkers, or worse, his boss, the lab’s director. A week into this punishment, he was surprised to notice that the mug he kept at his desk had disappeared at some point. He didn’t know who had taken it, or when it had been taken, but he had to assume that Mrs. Warren, or her informant, was responsible. He didn’t say a word about it, of course; what could he say? He had to use bottles at home as well, and since he found it impossible to drink anything quickly out of it, he usually ended up sucking on a bottle more or less constantly when he was at home just to satisfy his thirst. And since he had to wear one of his bibs whenever he ate or drank anything, Doug found himself wearing a bib, and drinking from his bottle, nearly the entire time he was at home. These little humiliations added up. Doug never felt more degraded than when he finished a bottle, removed his bib, changed his wet or messy diaper, and put on his pink sleeper for bed. He practiced this sequence nightly, however, without cutting corners. He knew from experience what happened when he tried to break rules. As Doug tried to deal with all of this, the last thing he thought of was his continence (or lack thereof), which was, of course, part of the point. In fact, in the midst of all these other hassles, he was beginning to forget to be upset about having to wear diapers. They were edging their way into his concept of what was “normal” for him these days; if he just had to wear his diapers, and didn’t have to worry about all the other nonsense, he wouldn’t have complained at all. It was near the end of his third month in diapers that he woke up for the first time in a wet diaper. The first time, he wasn’t really sure if he’d done it in his sleep or if he’d awakened and wet it semi-consciously, but as time went on and he woke up wet more and more often, he began to suspect the truth. It was a sign of how much his perspective had changed that he didn’t regard this development with alarm. But Doug was necessarily becoming very good at rationalization, and he reasoned that this was simply a temporary condition brought on by the constant usage of diapers during the daytime, and would surely resolve, along with everything else, as soon as he resumed his normal life in another couple of months. And for now, what was the harm? Like his other unconscious diaper-usage, it actually made things more convenient, since he didn’t have to wake up to take care of things in the middle of the night. His diaper and stuffer were certainly thick enough to handle the overnight load, and so Doug decided that the end result would simply be a better night of sleep. Three weeks into Doug’s enforced chastity punishment, he decided to try to make a bargain with Mrs. Warren. After spending several days mustering the necessary courage, Doug asked her if she might agree to take the thigh straps off if he wore the rest of the device an extra two weeks. Mrs. Warren was delighted by this offer, seeing it as “progress” by Doug, and agreed immediately, since she didn’t currently have another client who would be needing the device before Doug would be done with it. For Doug it was a victory of sorts. Since he was already swearing not to have an orgasm afterward, lengthening the punishment didn’t deprive him of anything, and he rid himself of the most heinous part of the punishment. And he was kind of happy: for the first time since he could remember, he had exerted a little control over his strange life. At the end of the two months, in February, the sheath came off completely, and Doug was happy to return to his “normal” life. He was disappointed when Mrs. Warren said he still had to use the bib and the bottles, but he wasn’t going to argue. He forced himself to be grateful for what he could get; the bibs and bottles were starting to seem less horrible now, anyway. They certainly weren’t worth fighting over. By the time his punishment was over, Doug ended up feeling ready to try to keep his promise not to masturbate. When he had first been locked into it, he had focused on more rebellion, and spent many hours trying to dream up new plans for clandestine masturbation. He had thought of something that would probably work; it revolved around masturbating out the back door of his apartment at night in the grass, a plan that would have seemed utterly bizarre and obscene to him several months earlier. But he was now in desperate straits, and he’d thought he wouldn’t be able to wait until he got out to try it. As time wore on, however, and he began, against his will, to resent his erections, he’d slowly decided to shift his post-punishment strategy to one of lying low. After all, he’d lasted two months without an orgasm; surely he should just wait two more and be done with this whole ordeal. The two remaining months would pass much faster if he were not being actively punished for something; he ought to be good, get out, and then recover his life. Abstinence seemed a small price to pay to expedite his freedom, even in the face of a diaper fetish, which, although less obvious these days, must still be hiding there underneath it all. It was indeed the ultimate sacrifice, but it was still worth it if it helped him bear his ICP better. Doug realized that he was two-thirds of the way through his ICP, and he started thinking more and more about the future, specifically what would happen after this diaper torture was over. His interview for the graduate program had, as expected, gone well, and his boss, the lab director, had essentially assured him that the rest of the application process was a formality, and that for all intents and purposes he could plan on entering the program in August. Doug was overjoyed at this, for he’d structured this entire year around this very opportunity. It appeared that his work had paid off, and that despite the strange twist his life had briefly taken, his overall goals were still in sight, and if he could just live through the last two months of this thing, his dream life was waiting for him. He looked forward to having to decide between the equally enticing prospects of a high-salaried private sector position and a juicy teaching job at a top university somewhere. Either way, it looked like his future would be well-paved. Chapter 13 Things were proceeding as planned until, a week after getting out of that prickly penile prison, Doug awoke suddenly in the middle of the night to feel the cold February breeze blowing on his face. He was abruptly jarred to alertness, and he sat up and stared around, feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He saw immediately that his second story window was open. A chill passed through him: he’d closed it before waddling into bed wearing his pink sleeper over his diaper. So who had opened it, and where were they now? He glanced around the room and slowly became aware of the fact that there was actually someone else in bed with him. He could just make out the shape of someone under the sheet, and up near the pillow, a shock of blond hair stuck out above the top of the sheet… Doug caught his breath. This was unreal. He reached over and quietly turned on his bedside lamp, which might not be enough to wake the person next to him. But Doug saw motion under the blanket, and then a hand snaked its way up and out next to the hair, pulling down the sheet to reveal… Emily. Not quite awake yet, stirring restlessly, and frowning a little at the light being on. Emily in his bed. A million questions flooded Doug’s consciousness, all crowding in on him at once. How had she found him? How had she gotten through the window? Why was she here? And, most pressing, what should he do? He’d often thought of her in the past two months, wondering where she was, what she was doing, if he’d ever see her again. Now she was here. For whatever reason, she was here. He let his eyes sweep over the form of her body under the sheet next to him, and from the way the bedclothes lay Doug began to suspect that she was unclothed. Oh, boy. This is too much, he thought. Predictably, Doug felt an erection begin to form. He’d wanted to be good, but surely this was too much of an opportunity to pass up. His hand made its way down to his crotch, and he unconsciously tried to rub himself through his sleeper and diaper. The motion disturbed the already-restless sleeper beside him, and Emily’s eyes fluttered open, squinting at the lamp’s light. “Baby boy,” she murmured. “Are you awake?” “Um, yes,” he said, trying to stay as calm as possible in this odd situation. What should he say to this goddess who had hunted him down and snuck into his bed while he was sleeping? “Uh, Emily?” “Mm-hmmm,” she hummed sleepily. “What are you doing here?” he asked instinctively, and immediately regretted it. She roused herself and looked at him more clearly. “Why, don’t you want me here?” she asked, pouting slightly. “Oh, yes, well, I mean, of course, I do, but,” he sputtered. Didn’t she think this situation was odd? “Shhhh,” she said, putting a finger to his lips. “Don’t get all upset. I thought a surprise visit might be kind of fun. You know what I mean?” she asked, looking up at him. Doug’s throat was completely dry by now. He wanted to speak but couldn’t, and, indeed, couldn’t think of anything appropriate anyway. He knew exactly what she meant, and it was long overdue. He’d spent a lot of time fantasizing about Emily, and had come to realize that if he ever got a chance with her again, he’d take it. He just hadn’t expected that chance to happen like this. He could feel the heat and tension inside his diaper. And this time the erection didn’t hurt. Emily put her hand up to Doug’s chest, running her fingers across the fuzzy pink fabric he wore. “Pretty jammies,” she whispered, smiling. “Did you pick them out yourself?” Doug blushed. “No,” he croaked with embarrassment. “But I have to wear them.” “I think they’re very cute,” Emily told him. “And they’re perfect for you.” Doug blushed again. He must really look stupid in this outfit. How degrading to have Emily see him in it. “But it looks hard to get out of,” she said, her brow furrowed with concern. Doug shook his head. “No, it’s not too bad. There’re snaps all down the front and through here,” he said, indicating his crotch. “So I can…” he broke off, embarrassed at what he’d almost said. “So you can change your diaper?” Emily whispered seductively. “Is that what snaps are for?” Doug nodded and swallowed hard. He was surprised his diaper hadn’t been ripped off by the force of the erection he had right now. “Good,” she replied. “I’m so glad those snaps are there. It will make what happens next a lot easier.” Doug stared at her. He’d heard her, but somehow he didn’t think she was referring to a diaper change. “What happens next?” he asked softly, though he already knew. “Something I’ve been waiting for for a long time,” she answered, smiling. “Something that should have happened long before now.” And she began to sit up, the sheet falling to her the bed, her beautiful breasts emerging to Doug’s view. And he stared. He had never seen such perfection. He had imagined how they’d look, but in his dreams he’d never even conceived of a sight so beautiful. But he didn’t have time to stare. Emily was pushing him back, down to his pillow. In a strong, graceful motion she lifted a foot and climbed on top of him. Doug was paralyzed by the sight of her astride him. She smiled at him as her hands made their way down to his waist and below, finding and pulling apart the snaps at his crotch. She managed to pull his feet out of the sleeper and pull the bottom half of it up above his waist, so that he still wore the top of it, but all that remained below was his diaper. She smiled even more at the sight of it. “Oh, you’re a good boy at home, too, aren’t you?” she asked in a babyish tone. “Well, not tonight, you’re not,” she said as she pulled off the diaper’s tapes. “Tonight, neither of our mommies is around.” She pulled his diaper back, tucking it between his legs behind her. She let her fingers explore their way along Doug’s powdered thighs, across his abdomen, until they worked their way toward their hairless, throbbing target. “Oooh, you’ve missed me,” she said softly. “Just lie back and relax tonight, Doug. There’s nothing you can do about it this time. You know as well as I do that this was meant to be, and I won’t let you off the hook this time.” Her fingers tickled his penis, his tortured and denied penis, and it responded. Doug started breathing heavily, closing his eyes, and concentrating on the forbidden sensations he had been denied for so long. Screw Mrs. Warren, he thought. I’m not a baby; I’m a man, and this is what I’m meant to do. Not even that chastity belt could stop this from happening. Emily sensed his growing excitement, and withdrew her hand in an attempt to draw things out a bit. She leaned over him and placed a breast in his lips. “Why don’t you enjoy that for a while?” she asked. “That’s better than that old bottle you have, isn’t it?” Doug was a little embarrassed by this, but he didn’t care. It did, in fact, feel very nice to suck on a real breast for a change, even if nothing came out. He didn’t ask himself how Emily knew about the bottle. He was concentrating on Emily’s responsive moans, sucking more as he heard her grow more excited. Soon Emily, too, was panting, and with a slow, determined motion, she lifted herself with her strong thighs and guided Doug’s penis into her, and, smiling, said, “This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?” Doug opened his eyes and nodded happily, and then closed them again to savor the sensation. It was exactly what he had wanted, and he wasn’t thinking of anything else right now, not the ethics of what was happening, not how Emily possibly could have gotten his address, not what would happen when Mrs. Warren found out. It felt perfect, like he’d been born and lived his entire life just for this one moment. Heaven. He felt Emily rise and fall on him, and together they moved, the excitement building and building. The climactic moment was well-timed, and the bliss lasted several seconds, until Emily fell, exhausted, off of him, onto the bed beside him. Doug just lay there, thanking God for such a moment in the middle of the rest of his misery. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. Had he fallen asleep? He looked around. Emily was gone. The window, wide open before, was now shut and locked. The light was out; it was still nighttime. His hands felt down his body. He was wearing his diaper and his sleeper was back on. Had Emily rediapered and redressed him in his sleep? Why had she left? Why hadn’t he awakened? He nearly started crying when he began to realize that, of course, Emily could never have been here with him. The most perfect moment he’d ever lived had been a dream. A huge wave of disappointment swept over him as he acknowledged that his own life wasn’t nearly so perfect. He should have known. As if Emily would want him, he thought. Look at me, in my pink, babyish sleeper, in my diaper. In my wet diaper, he noted ruefully. Well, as long as I’m up, he thought, I may as well change myself. He turned the light on, unsnapped his sleeper, untaped his diaper and pulled it down between his legs, as Emily had done in his dream. He glanced down at it as he sat up and prepared to get out of bed to get a clean diaper, and he noticed something interesting. His diaper wasn’t all yellow like it usually was after wetting at night. Yet it had felt wet. He looked closer: there was something in his diaper, but it was clearly not urine. Panic set in when Doug realized what had happened. He’d never had a wet dream before, but it wasn’t a difficult conclusion to draw. A perfect dream, the wet diaper. Wow. This is something that’s never happened to me before, but I’m sure I know what it is. A wet dream. And if it was that, then it was great. I’ve really been missing something all this time. But how could he possibly explain this to Mrs. Warren? He couldn’t just throw the diaper away; he had to turn it in, and she’d surely discover his evidence. And then he knew exactly what would happen; his bottom tingled just thinking about it. A horrific spanking followed by the chastity device, and the thigh straps… But it wasn’t fair. He couldn’t have avoided this. He’d been very good, for the very reason that he’d wanted to avoid facing punishment like this. And his mind had been good. It was his body that had betrayed him. How could he possibly have prevented this? He didn’t know what to think about his body any more: wetting at night, wet dreams, what was next? Doug finished changing himself, and then, frustrated and confused, he ended up crying himself back to sleep for the night. When he awoke the next morning, he decided that among the bad options he had, the best was actually to call Mrs. Warren and tell her exactly what had happened, before she found out on her own and was mad at him for trying to lie, too. He imagined that this was what she’d want him to do anyway, so it would probably help to mitigate his punishment. “Yes?” he heard her answer when he phoned her cellular phone an hour later. He’d caught her in between clients. “Um, hi, Mommy, this is Doug calling,” he started. It was a Saturday morning, and he had no plans for the day. He’d figured he ought to keep himself fairly flexible; you never know with Mrs. Warren. “Yes, Doug? How’s my little boy doing this morning?” “Well, okay, I guess, but I need to tell you something embarrassing, and I hope you won’t be mad at me.” Mrs. Warren thought for a moment. Doug was far enough along in his ICP that he wouldn’t be phased at all by what most normal people would call “embarrassing,” so this must be pretty interesting, especially to make Doug call her so early in the day. “Well, Doug, I can’t tell whether or not I need to be mad until you tell me. What’s going on?” Doug paused. How should he say it? “I had a…little accident in my sleep last night,” he said quietly. Accident? She knew he’d begun wetting in his sleep, an excellent sign. But that was old news by now. What could this be? A messy overnight diaper? It was a little early for that, though Doug had made better progress than most. More likely, it was the third kind of accident. “What kind of accident, Doug?” Another pause. Despite all the humiliation he’d experienced so far at Mrs. Warren’s hand, he still was not comfortable talking about these things with her. Especially if a spanking, or worse, was likely afterward. “Well, I’ve been very good, you know, not touching myself at all. Very good. I promise. But last night, I don’t know what happened. I think I must have had one of those dreams.” “One of what dreams, Doug?” Mrs. Warren asked, already knowing the answer. This was a wonderful development. If he was trying to be good, but his body ended up having periodic nocturnal emissions anyway, then Doug was essentially signed up for life with her. She didn’t have to worry about whether or not he was good. She’d be regularly supplied with reasons to keep him on probation indefinitely. “I think it’s called a, um, wet dream,” he answered, blushing. “A what?” “You know, a wet dream. I went to sleep, and when I woke up I had, you know, that sticky sperm stuff in my diaper. Only I didn’t ever touch myself. I was asleep.” Mrs. Warren sighed audibly into the phone. “Okay, Doug,” she said. “It sounds like I need to come see you today. I should be able to squeeze you in in an hour or so. Meanwhile, keep that diaper out for me. I want to see it when I get there.” “Yes, Mommy,” Doug said nervously, and they hung up. She was coming over. This was probably a bad sign. And this time, he’d walked right into it. But he remained hopeful that his willingness to confess would be taken into consideration. On the other hand, would she even believe his story? When she arrived, she took him upstairs and made him show her the diaper. With great embarrassment, he pointed to the semen-stained disposable he’d laid out on his bed. She peered closely at the evidence and clucked loudly at him. “Doug, this is so disappointing. I thought you were being such a good baby for me.” “I am, Mommy,” he protested. “I’m trying. You have to believe me. This has never happened to me before, and I’m upset about it, too. I know I’m not supposed to touch myself.” She smiled at him, obviously earnest in his desire to please her. He’d certainly come a long way in several months. He didn’t even flinch now when he called her “Mommy.” And she knew he was telling the truth. “I believe you, Doug, and I think that you really do want to be good. Up in your head you’ve learned what’s right and wrong. The problem is,” she said, shaking her head with the appropriate amount of sadness showing in her face, “that the rest of your body still hasn’t learned. No matter how good you’ve been, I certainly can’t have my babies ejaculating, can I?” “No, Mommy,” Doug agreed. “So I need to punish you, to help teach your body what’s right and wrong. And like last time, I’ll give you a choice. I can either give you a spanking today, and then let you wear the chastity device for a week to help your problem, or I can just let you wear the device for three weeks, without a spanking. Which would you rather have?” Doug swallowed hard. Much as he disliked the chastity device, he’d learned his lesson from the last choice he’d made. He knew what she wanted. “I’d like the chastity device for three weeks, please, Mommy,” he said meekly. “Good boy,” Mrs. Warren said approvingly. He certainly remembered lessons. “And because you’ve been so honest with me, I’ll only make you wear the thigh straps for the first week, if you’re a good boy. How does that sound?” Better than a spanking, he thought. “But if this happens again, Doug, I may need to start spanking you as well, to help your body learn better. And this time, and every time in the future, I’m afraid I’ll need to extend your probation period another three months.” This way, she could continue to give him the occasional spanking, for fun, and be sure to keep him around forever. Whatever, Doug thought. I’m out of this program in seven weeks. You can keep me on probation as long as you want. It won’t affect me after I’m out! “Yes, Mommy.” And so began Doug's second period of enforced celibacy, which he found, to his disappointment, no easier than the first. But the time passed, and if it got him closer to getting out of this damned program, then it was worth being good and playing along. The next week Doug noticed that the diapers delivered by Mrs.Warren were in a different package. They still said “BRIEFS, LARGE; ADULT DIAPERS'' on them, but in big letters next to this were the words, “NEW; MORE ABSORBENT.” He also noted that he didn’t receive any stuffer pads to go in them. Mrs. Warren saw his confusion. “Mrs. Sheffield has redesigned your diapers so that they are thicker and more absorbent. Apparently she received enough suggestions about this from our clients that she thought it would be worthwhile adjusting the product line.” She smiled at him, knowing full well that Doug himself had asked for a diaper like this before he’d known he’d be forced to wear it. “They are now thick enough that you don’t need to use pads in them any longer. You ought to be very thankful that she cares that much for your comfort. I’d like to see a thank-you note for her by tomorrow from you, expressing your appreciation for her help in your incontinence control. I’ll pick it up and deliver it myself. She’s a wonderful woman, you know,” she said. Wonderfully naive and overly trusting, she didn’t say. Mrs. Warren was thrilled about the new diapers, since they were much more similar to the prototype worn by real babies, and this made them all that much more effective in belittling her clients. They were so good that she briefly considered switching all of her baby boys to them, even those in cloth diapers. But she also knew that fetishists were extremely particular with their desires, and she wanted every boy to be stimulated maximally by the diaper he wore. The benefits reaped from such an arrangement far outweighed the convenience brought by putting everyone in these nice disposables. Doug listened and grimaced slightly, recognizing the irony in the situation. Months ago, when he’d asked for it, he would have appreciated such a product, since it played into his infantile fantasies so well. But now that it was no longer a fantasy, he couldn’t really enjoy what was clearly the perfect adult diaper for fetishists. He wondered briefly if other AB’s would at least get to enjoy this product, at his expense. He ended up liking the change, though, since the new diapers were simpler and a better product. And they weren’t any more noticeable than wearing a pad under a regular adult diaper. The time spent in the chastity device slowly passed, and when he emerged for the second time, in late March, he began to think about the future. With only a couple of weeks remaining until he got out of the program in late April, he started dreaming about his soon-to-be-normal-again life. He had recently learned that he had indeed been accepted into the grad program, and would therefore spend around six or seven years here working on a masters and doctoral degree. Spring was just starting to add leaves to the trees and flowers to the gardens. He would soon be allowed to visit a doctor and get out of this ridiculous program. All in all, things were definitely looking up. Okay, he thought to himself, it’s technically not quite a “lock” that I’ll get out. But if the doctor isn’t directly employed by TIC or The Drugstore, then he’s *got" to recognize that it would be absurd to call me incontinent. Before all this started, I hadn’t had any accidents since I was three years old. I’ve never had any trouble with incontinence. And I look young and healthy. Only an idiot would look at me and agree with Mrs. Warren. It’s finally time to inject a reasonable opinion into the decisions about my life. So Doug asked Mrs. Warren for the list of doctors recommended by TIC to judge his continence. The list included eight physicians in the area, and since Doug knew they couldn’t all be “fixed” and under Mrs. Warren’s control, he felt comfortable with it. He immediately set about deciding who he would go see; it was an important decision. Two were women, and instinctively he crossed them off the list. He’d been embarrassed too often over these last few months to trust a woman with this decision. With his luck she would think he looked cute in diapers and would want to keep him that way. No, he’d pick a male, who would be rational and concrete and impartial. After some deliberation he chose Dr. Bruce Mitchell, who ran a generalist practice just outside of town. He’d heard other lab workers who went to him say that he was very good. He probably couldn’t do any better than that. So he made the appointment for the very day of the six month anniversary (luniversary?) of the signing of his contract for his ICP. He told Mrs. Warren that this would be his last day in the program, and to his annoyance, she just nodded and smiled at him, as if she knew something he didn’t. In his paranoia, he took this as an indication that she knew this doctor well, and so he called and cancelled this appointment, making another for the same day with another highly recommended doctor in town from the list, Dr. John Bryant. When Doug called Mrs. Warren to tell her of this new appointment, she had to smile. This was certainly the Doug she’d grown to know and enjoy over the winter, unflinchingly naive, persistently optimistic, and still completely unaware of the game they were playing. He thought it made a difference which doctor he went to. That was cute. Well, he’d find out soon enough. All in all, she thought, Doug had turned out to be a wonderful client. He thought he was smart, so he’d tested the rules at the beginning, allowing her to exercise her talent at punishment to a satisfying degree. He’d made great progress in his incontinence, as far as she was concerned, and she had no doubt what the result of his doctor visit would be. She’d prepared him well. He was hers for as long as she wanted his money, which, at this point, was indefinite. And, at least until his appointment, he was completely in the dark, and so was unflappably enthusiastic about his chances at getting out of the program. He’d also learned enough lessons by now to make him nearly perfectly docile, the ideal client, who, as time went by, would need less and less care, so that she could concentrate on the new ones. Already, she had several newer boys that she needed to focus on. They were still defiant, still drank from glasses, still wore regular pajamas to bed, still probably masturbated regularly. Doug was nearly completely infantilized, and, as such, was now completely subject to her blackmail. He would never attempt to explain to others how he had been “made” to wear bibs or those hysterical feminine sleepers, or been “forced” to sit in his own poop, or drink from bottles. He was so far in that he’d never, ever consider rebelling. So he was hers. Mrs. Warren savored the thought: even as Doug prepared for his “big” appointment, he was hers. Chapter 14 Doug entered the exam room indicated by the nurse. He nervously waddled over to the examination table and uncertainly set down the pink diaper bag that Mrs. Warren had forced him to bring today. He normally took it everywhere, of course, but he had asked if he might be allowed to leave it at home just this once. Today was different for the reason that he wanted to make a good impression on the doctor. However, since he was forced to bring the bag, he was now simply hoping he’d have five minutes or so before the doctor came in so that he could take off his diaper and hide his bag, since both of those clues might make the doctor think he really was incontinent. The worst thing that could happen today, now that he had endured the whole six months, would be if the doctor really mistook him for someone who was incontinent. He had to put his best foot forward and present himself as he was, someone who was in an absurd situation and who just needed a little backup here to get out. But instead of leaving him alone in the room, the nurse followed him in, leaving the door open behind her. “And what are you here to see the doctor about today?” she asked casually, straightening some jars on the counter. Doug was surprised. He hadn’t thought he’d have to tell anyone besides the doctor about his situation. He was embarrassed about it, of course, and didn’t want to go through it with anyone else. “I’d rather just talk to the doctor,” he said, apologetically, trying not to hurt her feelings. He needn’t have worried. “Yes, that’s fine, but you need to let me know the nature of the problem first,” she insisted. She held his chart in her hand, and clearly wanted to write his complaint on it for the doctor. Doug began to get flustered. “But…but it’s personal,” he said. She was pretty. He didn’t want her to know. She looked at him with cool professionalism, telling him with her eyes that he couldn’t have anything she hadn’t seen before. “Yes, I’m sure it is. Everyone’s problems are personal. But I need to know so I can decide how best to prepare you for the doctor’s examination. You just need to give me a clue.” He paused. There seemed to be no way out of it. “I guess I need to talk to him about…well, incontinence.” This caught her attention. Doug started to blush as he felt her eyes sweep over him and come to rest on his diaper bag, next to his feet. “I see,” she commented after a moment. She turned and opened a cabinet under the counter, removing from it a bright blue pad. “Are you wearing any kind of…protection?” He hesitated while the nurse spread out the pad, which was plastic on one side and absorbent gauze on the other, on the examination table. Doug blushed even more when he realized that she was putting it there to protect the table from him. When he didn’t answer right away, she gave him an expectant glance. He didn’t want to tell her, because then they’d all think he was really incontinent. “Uh, no. It’s just a little problem. I don’t even think it’s really a problem. I just need to talk to him about it.” She walked back over to the counter and picked up his chart again. “Hm. It looks like you’re wearing something,” she observed coolly, staring at his groin, which bulged obviously. “What kind?” Shoot. She can tell. “Oh, uh, this,” Doug stammered, staring down. “I don’t need this, it’s just…well, I don’t even know why I have it on.” “Uh-huh,” she said doubtfully. “What I asked was, what is it?” she repeated firmly. “Oh, well, it’s a, um, a brief,” he mumbled under his breath. He hadn’t heard or used that term in over six months, since he’d first talked to Mrs. Sheffield for the first time that fateful day in the drugstore. Since then, of course, it had always been a “diaper.” The other word sounded funny now. “What?” the nurse asked. Doug silently cursed. He’d said it too softly. Now he’d have to say it again. He was now painfully aware of the open door. “A, uh, brief,” he repeated, louder. How much more could he blush in front of her? She stared at him for a minute, before her eyes darted back down to his crotch and a look of comprehension crossed her face. “Oh,” she said, winking at him. “Sorry, I just hadn’t heard that word for it.” Doug could have died. “Okay, well, I need you to take everything off except your diaper, and sit up here on the blue pad,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’ll be back in a minute to get your blood pressure and temp.” She started out of the room, but then reconsidered, reaching down under the table and bringing out a short cotton gown, which she handed him. “Just in case you’re modest,” she explained, smiling. And then she left the room, closing the door behind her. Doug was sort of in shock. That hadn’t gone as planned. He felt ridiculous for calling a “brief” what was obviously a diaper, and he felt even worse when she essentially corrected him, using the more infantile term. Worst of all, now she wanted him to wear it for the examination. That would make a great impression. He could understand why she’d want someone who was incontinent to wear their “protection” during the exam, but it came at a very bad time for him. She didn’t look like she believed him that it was only a little problem. She thought he needed diapers. What would the doctor think? She seemed pretty astute and strong-willed, so he knew he’d probably have to do what she said. Nurses had always scared him a little anyway. He didn’t really have the courage to confront her about not wanting to wear his diaper in front of the doctor; anyway, it wouldn’t help: she’d just tell the doctor he was wearing one, and the result would be the same. He’d lost the first round here. But he could still win the war. He had to. He felt as though his life depended on it. He dejectedly took his shirt off and put the gown on, noting that it barely reached his waist. Useless. He slipped his shoes, socks, and pants off and looked at himself in the mirror on the back of the exam room door. He looked stupid standing there in his diaper and the little gown. And then he looked closer and noticed something: it looked like his diaper’s indicator was now mostly blue. But when had he wet himself? He didn’t know. Now, he’d have to… Suddenly the door swung wide open and the nurse breezed in. She stopped cold at the sight of him in his wet diaper, and through the wide open door, Doug saw two other nurses staring at him as well. He was being gawked at, in his wet diaper, by the office staff. Great. He wanted to go home. But no time for that. His own nurse closed the door and, trying to suppress a laugh, shook her head and said, “Okay, little guy, let’s hop up on the table like I told you.” Completely chagrined, Doug waddled back to the table and hoisted himself onto it, positioning himself obediently over the blue underpad. His diaper rustled loudly, a fact the nurse clearly appreciated. But she was able to avoid laughing outright, and she efficiently took his blood pressure and pulse at his side. She wrote these numbers down, then said, “Okay, just the temp.” She walked over to the cabinets above the counter in front of him and opened the closest, blocking it from Doug’s sight with her body and exposing a small bin of thermometers that read “ORAL” on the front of it. She grunted softly with dissatisfaction and pushed it out of the way to reveal another bin behind it with the label, “RECTAL.” She reached in and pulled out a thermometer, shook it down, and dunked it into a waiting jar of vaseline, pulling out with it a large glob of petroleum jelly. Doug couldn’t see what the nurse was doing, but he had no reason to suspect anything unusual. So though it didn’t quite make sense to him when the nurse, still facing away from him, asked him to lie back and relax, he did it without thinking. But when she turned and approached him a moment later, one hand holding the thermometer with the gooey vaseline on it, the other reaching out to untape his diaper, he sat bolt upright and grabbed the outstretched hand. “Hey, what’re you doing?” he said, not quite sure what was going on. “You just lie back and be a good boy. We’ll be done in a couple of minutes.” Doug was slowly catching on, and couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t really be talking about sticking that thing in there. “But that’s not how you…” “Ah, ah,” the nurse chided, as if to a child. “First let’s get this in, then we can talk.” Talk with the thermometer in? he thought. That definitely meant she wanted to do it rectally. Despite his fear of nurses, he had to protest this. “But that’s a rectal thermometer,” he said quickly, pointing out what he still hoped was a mistake. She nodded. “That’s right. It goes in your bottom. I just need you to lie down so I can undo your diaper.” That wasn’t a good enough explanation for him. This was so humiliating. And he couldn’t let her see that he was hairless down there. This was horrible. He had to fight this. “But that’s for babies.” “Uh-huh,” she said brightly, as if he’d answered his own question. “But I’m not a baby. You don’t need to do it that way.” “Well, but you are wearing diapers, and that’s the rule. It may not make much sense to you, but it’s for your own safety. The insurance companies require us to do it this way with anyone in diapers, something about competence and the safety risk of putting mercury in your mouth. I know you’re not the normal diaper-wearer, but the office has to follow the policy. I could get fired for breaking that rule. Do you want me to get fired?” she asked him. “Well, no, but…” “Okay. Well, then, I need you just to lie back and relax.” She tried to push him back gently with her free hand. Doug started to whine. “Please, couldn’t you just make an exception?” “No. I told you, I’ll get fired. Now we can do this nicely, or I can call and get some help, and we can hold you down. It’s your choice. But we’re going to do it,” she told him sternly. He could do nothing but hang his head. “Okay,” he said in frustration. He just hated being treated like a baby by everyone. “You don’t have to hold me down. I just don’t understand.” He allowed her to lay him back. He stared at the ceiling, hoping this visit would improve. She undid his tapes with her free hand, and pulled his diaper down between his legs. He felt her pause as she obviously took in the sight of his bald crotch, but then she collected herself, and instructed him to spread his legs and lift them way up, so that his knees were on his chest. He did this automatically. He’d been cleaned and changed enough by now to know how. He closed his eyes as he felt her separate his cheeks and slip the cold, slimy thermometer inside. He couldn’t help flinching at this shocking sensation. “Sorry it’s cold. It should warm up.” Doug nodded and felt a tear slide down one cheek. This was just so humiliating. He felt her fingers against his skin down there, firmly holding the thermometer in its place. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, hoping it would all end soon. Finally he felt it exiting, and for a second thought that he was accidentally having a BM. He yanked his head up to look down there, but all he saw was the nurse wiping off the now-brownish thermometer with a tissue, reading it, and writing down the number. She grabbed another tissue and brought it over to him, wiping the vaseline off of his bottom. As she did this, she commented, “That’s quite a wet diaper you’ve got there. Did you bring a spare?” Doug could only nod shamefully as he stared upward. This was so painful. He thought she was about to suggest one or the other of them change him, but she seemed to change her mind. She pulled his wet diaper up between his legs and retaped him tightly, saying, “Well, I’m sure you can wait until after the doctor sees you. Then you can be sure to have a dry diaper to go home in.” Doug heard a door slam down the hall. “Ah, he must be ready for you, so we don’t have time to change you anyway. He’ll be in in just a second.” She helped him sit up, and then left the room. The nurse found Dr. Bryant in the hall and told him his next patient was ready. “What’s this one?” the doctor replied, working on a note on the previous patient. “Incontinence,” she answered, smiling at him meaningfully. Seeing a quizzical look in response, she explained, “Another one of those young men with diapers and absolutely no control. This one’s diaper is soaked.” “Another one?” Dr. Bryant shook his head in amazement. “I’ve got to talk to Linda Warren. Where does she find them?” “As if you don’t like the referrals,” the nurse teased. “Well, of course, it is good business for us,” he agreed. “But it’s just so strange. My whole career I don’t see any of them, and then in the last few years, it’s like one every couple of months, all under the nursing care of Linda. Very odd. Well, I’m not complaining. Did you get this one’s temp rectally?” “Of course,” she said. “I know the drill. And of course, he put up the requisite fuss, but he eventually bought the line about insurance and office policy. Same as the others.” “That is a good excuse. And I know they all seem to object, but remember what Linda told us: they like being treated that way. She says they only object because they know we’ll tell her, and they’ll get into trouble with her.” “And they like that? I’ve heard she does some of that S&M stuff with them to punish them.” “I know. It’s crazy. But she insists they like it. And I knew Linda when she worked here, and I trust her. I also know for a fact that there are people out there, probably more than most folks would guess, who do get off on that sort of thing. Far be it from me to judge them.” “The thing I really don’t understand is why they would come to you like they do.” “Well,” Dr. Bryant said, stroking his chin, “That is the confusing part.” He thought a moment. “Linda tells me that they enroll in this little `program’ of hers because they clearly want to be babies again, which is fine. Whatever floats their boat, you know? But then, exactly six months to the day after they enroll, they come crawling in here saying they don’t like it after all. Infancy, it seems, is not all it’s cracked up to be,” he said, laughing. The nurse also laughed; diapers didn’t seem like that much fun to her. “But at this point, I must say that I don’t feel much sympathy for them. In my opinion, if you want to make your bed, you’ve got to lie in it, too. What they do is, they spend six months intensively regressing themselves back to babies, and doing it very successfully, I might add, and then they want to grow up all at once. Well, it just doesn’t work that way. They all want to be told that they’re continent and ready to resume their lives, when, as you know, they’re completely incontinent, just as they wanted to be. It’s totally irrational. And then they want me to help them, now that they’ve done all this to themselves.” “But you can’t do anything, for that, can you?” the nurse asked. “Not a thing,” he replied. “They’ve completely deconditioned their sphincters. What can I do to help them? So I tell them the truth, which often surprises them for some reason, though I can’t imagine why. What kind of an idiot do you have to be not to realize that if you fully regress yourself, you’ll just have to do the work growing up again?” He finished up the chart note from the prior patient. “There’s no shortcut. The best I can do is be honest, and, for fun, play into their little game as much as I can. That’s why I ask you to rectalize them, as gross as that may be for you. It’s probably the only thing they get out of this visit.” “Oh, I don’t mind,” the nurse said graciously. “In fact, it’s kind of fun, especially seeing the look on their faces when I come at them with the thermometer all covered with vaseline. I’ve seen several of them wet their diapers on the spot.” They both shared a chuckle at the idea. “It’s fine until you run into a messy diaper,” she said. “Then it’s not so funny.” She wrinkled up her face. “Oh, was this one messy?” the doctor asked. “No, no. Just wet. Haven’t had a messy one in quite a while.” “Yes, that’s odd, actually,” he said. “Because without exception, they’re incontinent of bowel as well. I’m surprised we don’t see more of it.” “Yes, well, I’m just as happy this way,” the nurse laughed. “Okay. One other thing. Was he shaved clean down there?” The nurse nodded, smiling. “As a whistle.” The doctor chuckled. “Alright. Well, where is this one’s chart?” “In the door, waiting for you. Be nice, he looks very embarrassed.” “Yeah, but Linda says that’s part of it. They like the humiliation.” “Whatever. Don’t be long. Drug lunch when you’re done.” “Okay, thanks.” Dr. Bryant glanced at the chart and opened the door. He entered the room, took in the sight of Doug sitting in his wet diaper, collected himself quickly, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. “I’m Dr. Bryant. You must be Doug. What can I do for you today?” Doug cleared his throat, looked down at his wet diaper, and said, “Well, it’s a long story, but the bottom line is, I’m being forced to wear these because some crazy woman thinks I’m incontinent. But I’m not, and only if you write me a note saying I’m continent will she let me not wear them. So I need you to tell her I’m perfectly continent, and that’s all.” Dr. Bryant shook his head. Amazing how they all knew the script so well. But he’d have to tell Linda this one said she was crazy. That was rich. “Let’s slow down, and start at the beginning. When did this all start?” He knew the answer before it was said, but he had to go through the whole thing with each one. “Six months ago,” Doug replied. “This lady made me enroll in a program where I have to wear these because she says I’m incontinent. But it’s just not true. It hasn’t been true since I was three years old.” “Then why did you enroll in the first place? Why did you agree to wear diapers?” This seemed like the critical issue, and these guys could never explain it to his satisfaction, an indication that this story about not liking it was pretty flimsy. “She made me…have an accident,” Doug confessed. “Then she made me sign a contract, and so now I have to wear diapers, or…” He stopped short. He wasn’t sure how much he really wanted to tell him. It was all so humiliating. “Or what?” the doctor prompted. You never knew when you might hear something so new and perverted it was interesting. Doug hesitated. The doctor just stared at him, waiting. “Or else, she, um, well, spanks me.” It was perfect. The diapers, the spanking, the faked embarrassment. Well, free country, right? He had nothing at all against a good kink. And he was making money, too. Might as well play along. It would be fun, Linda would appreciate it, and the boy probably would, too. “So then. Have you been a good boy and worn your diaper the whole time?” Doug nodded, ashamed. “Good. So what’s the problem? You’re being good, wearing your diapers, so why are you here?” This wasn’t going right, Doug thought. Why isn’t the doctor more shocked? “Because I need you to write a note, saying I don’t have to wear these.” Maybe the boy would appreciate a little teasing before being examined. “What makes you think that?” Doug began to get a little flustered. “Because I’m a grown-up! I know how to use a toilet. I’m not a baby!” “But from where I sit, you look like you’re wearing a soaking wet diaper. What’s to convince me you’re continent?” the doctor asked with a look of mock confusion on his face. “Because I am!” Doug exclaimed. “I never had accidents before she made me wear them. It’s just because she locked my toilets that I use these. I wouldn’t otherwise.” “Hmmm,” the doctor said doubtfully. That was enough, he thought. No need to torment the guy. The nurse was right: he’s pretty pathetic. Maybe this time he’ll actually have some control, and I can write him a little note. It honestly appears that it would make this one happy. I’d sure be glad to do it. “Well, I should examine you to settle this question.” He went over to the counter and got a glove and some lubricant. “I need you to lie back for me.” Doug did so quickly, knowing this was necessary. At last, he was being taken seriously. After six months someone finally was entertaining the notion that he was continent. Finally, his chance. He’d show them all. He laid still as he felt the doctor untape his diaper and pull it down between his legs once more. Doug lifted his knees spontaneously, up to his chest, which exposed his hairless groin to the doctor. “Alright, just relax. I’m going to check your sphincter tone down here.” And Doug felt the doctor’s cold, slimy finger push its way into his anus and probe around. He tried to tighten his bottom when the doctor said to do so. Then the doctor withdrew his finger and threw the glove away, silently. Doug was dying to know the result of the exam, but he was too scared to ask. So much depended on this result. He lowered his legs. “Alright, let’s check your urinary control. Do you think you could pee for me right now?” Doug nodded, though he didn’t know why that was important. The doctor pulled his diaper up through his legs again and held it an inch away from his hairless penis and testicles, so that the doctor could still watch but would be protected. “Alright, I want you to start peeing in a moment, right here, into your diaper, like you always do. The only difference is that I am going to watch, and after you’ve started, I’m going to ask you to try to stop peeing. When I say so, I want you to try to stop as quickly and completely as you can. Understand?” Doug nodded, grasping the test laid out before him. This would be it. “Go,” the doctor said. “Pee into your diaper.” Doug tried to push, which was a strange and ancient feeling for him. He hadn’t needed to try to pee in many months. It always just came out. But he managed to get a stream going. He heard it hitting the diaper above his penis, but because the diaper was already wet, he also felt it drip off the diaper and run down his bottom underneath. “Stop!” Dr. Bryant said, and Doug tried. It was finally time to get back on that bike. He tried to clamp down, to stop that stream, but it seemed very difficult. The stream seemed very strong. Surely he couldn’t be expected to stop it completely? That seemed impossible. Slowing the stream down was probably enough, but the wetness that kept running down his bottom made him think maybe he couldn’t do that very well. Well, but this must be an advanced test. He probably got some points for being able to start peeing on cue, right? When he finally dribbled to a halt, Dr. Bryant said, “How much do you have left? Can you go anymore?” But he couldn’t. He was drained. His bladder had fully emptied. Dr. Bryant nodded, and laid the front of the diaper onto his abdomen. He walked over to the sink to wash his hands. “Do you have a dry diaper to change into for your trip home? If not, I’m sure the nurse could find one here for you.” Doug said, “I’ve got one,” quietly. This wasn’t a good sign. The doctor dried his hands and turned toward him. “Why don’t you take a moment to get cleaned up and into a dry diaper, and you can get dressed, too. I’ll be back in a moment to talk to you. Oh, to whom did you want me to write that letter?” Doug’s heart leapt. This doctor was wonderful! He was going to write it anyway! He must have done better than he’d thought. Or maybe he felt sorry for him. But either way, his life wasn’t over after all! He’d show that bitch. “Linda Warren,” he said brightly, and gave him her address and telephone number to the doc when he asked. The doctor left, and Doug hopped down, wrapped up the wet diaper and put it in the bag he’d brought for the purpose. He still probably had to turn it in at the end of the week. He used one of his wipes to clean himself off, and then got a clean diaper out of his bag. But then he stopped. He didn’t need this diaper, he thought to himself, joyously. He was out of the program. Suddenly, however, another few drops of urine squeezed out, onto the blue underpad. Doug reddened as he thought of how the nurse would see that and feel vindicated that she had made him sit on it. In light of that, he decided that maybe wearing this last diaper home wasn’t such a huge concession. Just to be safe. How great that sounded! His last diaper! What a great day, even when it hadn’t started so well. His whole life now seemed brighter than it had yesterday. Unconsciously he rubbed his penis as he arranged the diaper on the table and sat on top of it. He needed to masturbate so badly. It had been so many weeks. But he could when he got home! Whenever he wanted! And let his hair grow! And use the toilets! And wear big boy underpants! And wear normal pajamas, and use real glasses, and not wear bibs. He taped himself in for what he told himself was the very last time. That bitch. How had he ever let her control him, make him wear diapers, spank him like a baby? How foolish he’d been, really, looking back on it all today. It was really crazy what she’d convinced him to do. But he was a new man today. Beyond all that crap with that silly ICP. No more crap from anyone. He got dressed and sat in the chair next to the table. After several minutes, Dr. Bryant walked in and said, “Ah, good, you’re ready. Dry diaper? Good, I’m sure that’s much more comfortable. Well, I went ahead and called Mrs. Warren, so everything’s all set.” Doug’s face lit up. Called her himself! That was great! She’d have to believe the doctor himself. “Thank you so much, Dr. Bryant. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.” Dr. Bryant looked slightly confused. “Er, uh, no problem. She said to tell you that she’d be waiting at your apartment with next week’s supply of diapers. You know, that’s service for you! You must enjoy that,” he said, earnestly trying to imagine. Doug stared at him. “What do you mean, next week’s diapers? Didn’t you tell her I’m not incontinent?” The doctor stared back. “Of course not. I told her the truth: you need your diapers like a fish needs water. You continent? I’d lose my license for that,” he chuckled. Doug, however, was not laughing. “But…oh, my God. I didn’t want you to tell her that. Oh, no, you didn’t…” Dr. Bryant stopped chuckling and tried to figure out what was wrong with this scene. “But of course I had to. I have newborn patients with more control than you. Your anal tone was completely nonexistent, and you dribble more than an entire basketball team!” He’d started laughing again. It was just so absurd. But he stopped when he saw how upset Doug looked. “I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear. I assumed you had to know it.” Doug shook his head. Probably he did know it, but hadn’t yet confronted it as reality. How could he face it? It didn’t make any sense. “But I don’t understand why I’m this way now. I really never had any problems before. How could it have just happened?” Dr. Bryant saw how devastated Doug looked, and he was once again struck by this particular boy’s vulnerability. He looked like he really didn’t understand and perhaps needed a good explanation. Dr. Bryant sat down in front of Doug. “Doug, when was the last time you used a toilet?” Doug could recall the day and the time perfectly. It was the morning six months ago when Mrs. Warren had awakened him with her knocking. He’d stumbled into the bathroom and peed into (and around) the downstairs toilet. It seemed so long ago. “Six months ago, to the day.” “And have you tried to hold your bladder and bowels during the last six months at all? I mean, when did you give up caring whether or not you controlled yourself?” Doug thought about it. This question was harder. “Well, I guess I stopped caring right away. I mean, why not? It didn’t help to wait, `cause I still had to use the diapers. I couldn’t get out of it, no matter what. So I didn’t even try.” The doctor nodded. “And do you even have to think about it now?” Doug shook his head. “No, but actually that’s great. It’s the one nice thing about this diaper thing. I don’t even notice when I pee these days. I mean, if I have to use the diapers, I’m glad I don’t have to think about it. But how does that have anything to do with this? I’m older than a toddler, even if she doesn’t treat me that way. Why can’t I control myself?” Dr. Bryant thought for a second, trying to use a good analogy. “Doug, have you ever broken a bone?” Doug nodded. What the heck did that have to do with anything? “Was it in a cast?” “Yeah. For six weeks.” “And at the end of the six weeks, what did your arm feel like?” Doug tried to remember. “It was pretty weak. I couldn’t do anything with it at first, and it got really tired very quickly.” The doctor nodded at him. “That’s because of something called atrophy. Muscles sort of waste away when you don’t use them. It’s possible to completely lose function in them. Now imagine if you’d had that cast on for six months.” Finally Doug understood. He thought for a moment. “So I’m just weak? Or did I lose it completely?” This could be horrible news. Dr. Bryant considered this. “Well, I don’t think you’ve lost use completely, although I can’t be sure.” “So I could get it back?” "Perhaps. If you try to use those muscles again. But it won’t be easy, Doug. There is a developmental principle that applies here. It has to do with milestones. When a child gets sick, he often regresses slightly with the illness, so that he loses the most recent milestone he has learned. This happens all the time with bedwetting in four- or five-year-olds. If they get sick, or stressed, they start wetting the bed again. This has been well- observed and documented in the literature.” Dr. Bryant sat back in his chair. “That’s no big deal, though, because when they get better, they can regain that milestone. The problem is, it generally takes twice as long for a child to regain a milestone as it did for him to lose it. And that’s with intense training. So say a kid is in traction for two weeks and forgets how to walk. It’ll take a month of full-time training for him to get it back. We don’t know why this is so, but it is a universal observation.” This sounded kind of ominous to Doug. He could do the math, but he didn’t want to. “What are you saying?” he asked quietly. “I’m telling you that you could potentially regain control, but I’d estimate that to get back to where you were it would take at least a year of formal, full-time toilet training, probably in some kind of organized program. Until you finish this type of training, you will almost certainly have to wear diapers. It’s just like you were starting from scratch again, like a baby, and you need to wear diapers just like a baby.” Now the doctor leaned toward him. “And because of what you’ve done to yourself, it’ll take twice as long to get better as it did to get this way. You’ll be in diapers for at least another year, Doug. That’s what I’m telling you.” Doug’s mouth dropped open. Another year. “And that’s if you start a formal potty-training program immediately. I don’t think you could retrain yourself on your own: it’s simply too difficult. You’ll need someone’s help in this.” The doctor smiled here. “Luckily, you’re already hooked up with someone who also runs a potty-training program like this. Mrs. Warren tells me she’ll be happy to continue working with you on this.” Doug sat motionless, trying to let this sink in. But it was so overwhelming, so devastating. “I might point out to you, Doug, that if you want control back sooner rather than later, you ought to get started as soon as possible. Every day you delay potty-training is additional two days after that in diapers. So every week prolongs things by three weeks. This thing, unless you get on top of it quickly, could drag out into several years of difficult training. Do you understand?” Doug nodded numbly. And as he sat there listening to his doctor explain the medical reality of his situation to him, he really did begin to understand. For the first time since this entire thing started, Doug began to comprehend fully what was happening. It was clear to Doug that Mrs. Warren knew all of this. She’d been a nurse, so she’d have to know about atrophy, and milestones, and retraining. His chronic suspicions that she enjoyed embarrassing him blossomed into the realization that she’d done all of this to him on purpose. Everything she’d done had been to make him lose control, from the very first glass of diaper juice. Why? he wondered. Money, perhaps, since he paid her. And if she really had dozens of other “babies,” then she probably made quite a bundle. But there had to be more. She was smart and skilled enough that she could make money doing anything. No, she also had to like this. And the more he considered it, the more he realized that she liked nothing more than seeing him suffer, even from the first accident in the bathtub. She loved to find excuses to spank him, to humiliate him, to degrade him. And this lady was so mean, so smart, and so capable, that she had figured out a way to make her living from it. As the insight began to form, it gained momentum and flooded Doug’s consciousness. He even began to see why she had made him wait six months before going to the doctor. It had to be long enough to assure that he’d lose all bladder and bowel control. And just as she had planned, he had. He cursed himself. How could he not have figured this out before today? He’d played along, at every step of the way. “I’ll just go along with it until tomorrow, or next week, or in a few months,” he’d said, again and again, each time walking further down this fateful path to where he sat today. Today, when he realized that he now needed Mrs. Warren and her diapers. Now he was exactly what she’d said he was at the beginning: completely incontinent. Now, in addition to being locked in by that damned contract he’d signed, he actually needed her diaper service to control his incontinence. And he was obviously hers for the next whole year. Hers to torture, hers to diaper. But even more insight flooded in. Why should she stop at one year? She had a financial interest in his incontinence. He wasn’t even off of probation yet. Say it took another six months to make it off of probation, which he guessed was an underestimate, and then another six months to get to the retraining stage. Potty training would then take another three years after that. He was probably looking at four more years in diapers, and worse than that, four more years with Mrs. Warren. Did he even have the will to potty-train with her for three years? And, knowing her, wasn’t it likely that she would make it even longer than that, or send him back to diapers near the end just out of spite? Doug experienced an epiphany when he grasped that he would never be allowed out of his diapers, and now that he’d gone along with her for this long, he was now totally helpless to stop it. He was hers forever. And…no more orgasms. Ever. Over the following days and weeks, Doug would think back, remembering the day he’d first wandered into TIC’s clutches. He would wonder how he’d fallen for Mrs. Sheffield’s apparently false concern, wonder how she’d ever gotten his address and phone number. He would think about how he’d failed her phone survey test, how he’d volunteered for the incontinence test which had begun to undo him. He would recall every incident of humiliation and blackmail, which were now clearly designed solely to keep him in diapers long enough to lose control. He’d think about the evidence along the way that he was losing his control: the Bowel Encouragement horror, the accident on Emily’s lap during the spanking, the wetting at night. He had been so caught up with little things that now seemed trivial (“Will I have to use a bib for another week?” “I hope she’s not mad at me for coming home early.”) that he’d entirely missed the big issue. He would feel entirely embarrassed and defeated, unable to ignore the fact that he had unquestionably lost the most important battle of his life, and was now diaper-bound and dependent on a sadistic and opportunistic businesswoman interested in only two things: his pain and her money. He would have to submit totally to her will now, and he would have to give up ever escaping her. He would, again and again, think of Emily as the weeks and months rolled by, wondering where she was, what might have happened, had things been different. He would fantasize about her while awake and dream about her while asleep. And he would never give up hope that they might someday meet again in the future… And Doug would wonder about the other “clients” to which Mrs. Warren referred. Who were they? What kind of lives had they lost as their independence inevitably fell to the infantilization industry? And how many other ABs were there out there, blithely entering drugstores and medical supply stores to purchase adult diapers, never suspecting that a Mrs. Sheffield or Mrs. Warren might be waiting to lead them into their own versions of ICPs? Doug never imagined that such diabolical businesses operated behind the walls of the pharmacies where he had bought his diapers. How many other fetishists or ABs would unwittingly follow in his footsteps? Dr. Bryant had, of course, been watching as Doug worked through most of this, but though he wondered, he couldn’t possibly know what he was thinking. He did, however, have a lot of free food waiting for him at the drug luncheon, so he stood and offered Doug his hand. “Good luck,” he said. “You’ve got quite a long road ahead of you.” He couldn’t know how long. He started to leave, and turned just before he opened the door. “Oh, I’m sorry, but of course, I had to tell Mrs. Warren that you gave the nurse some trouble when she tried to take your temp. She didn’t sound too happy to hear that, but she said thank you and to tell you that you’d know what to expect when you got home. Sorry I forgot to tell you before; I guess I got a little distracted. At any rate, come back and see me if I can be of any help to you. Goodbye, Doug.” And he left. Doug did indeed know what to expect. He rubbed his padded bottom in expectation. He could just see Mrs. Warren smiling her all-knowing smile at him when he arrived home. Yes, for the first time in six months, Doug knew exactly what to expect. The End
  17. Hey everyone! I posted this story a little while ago, but took it down due to needing more revamp and ideas to make this story pop. I am the original writer of this story and there is a person on deviantart writing a very similar version that I allowed her to write. I hope everybody enjoys this story as much as I do. Enjoy! Chapter 1: Eva tossed in turn at the sound of her phone's alarm going off she was once again having one of her favorite dreams of her being cared for like the little baby she was dressed as by her neighbor at school Ms.Harper. The large woman was feeding her a baby bottle of warm milk and slowly rubbing her diapered crotch telling her how naughty of a little baby she had been as Eva continued to hear the alarm screaming at her knowing it was time to get up. If anybody was in the room with her you would be pretty shocked to see her the way she was dressed. Eva was 28 years old and stood at 4 feet tall. She was the teacher at one of the finest schools in the state of Florida that taught children with all types of special needs. When she was first hired she was shocked when she went into the classroom to find a large nursery instead of a children's classroom. There were 4 cribs, 4 High chairs, a changing table that could fit most adults, and the largest playpen in the world that she had ever seen along with what looked like an old broom closet that was suppose to be her office. As summer break was coming up she had learned from her neighbor Ms.Harper that all of the furniture and both of there rooms was being renovated for brand new items and would be removed when summer break began which excited Eva even more wondering if she could finally have the things she wanted most a nursery. When the day had finally come and her former students had left the classroom she watched as the maintenance crew rolled in with large boxes of what had to be the new items for her classroom. Eva quickly asked one of the men what they were going to do with the items and quickly learned they were being thrown out and asked if she could have one of each for her "niece". The men smiled telling her that it wouldn't be a problem and Eva was even more excited when she learned they were going to deliver the items as well. Eva stared at her phone knowing that summer had come to an end entirely way to fast, but now she had to get up and ready to meet her new students. She got out of the crib quickly noticing the sagging that was coming from the wet diaper between legs and placing it in the diaper pail beside her changing table. She walked out of her nursery loving the sound of her calling it that truly turned her on even more. She hopped into the shower turning the water on wondering to herself if maybe this year she could do something different. She turned the water off to the shower quickly grabbing a towel drying herself as she made her way towards her old bedroom. She called it old because for most of the summer she truly lived the life of a baby girl. She stared at her old bed seeing it still made up like she left it when summer began and walked towards her closet knowing she didn't have much time to get ready. She looked through all of the suits and adult dresses telling herself maybe she could try something new when she quickly had a cute idea. She walked out of the bedroom and into the nursery which contained a massive walk in closet. She quickly found what she was looking for it was a pair of shortalls she had worn for Halloween the year before and had the words "cutie pie" stitched on the bib. She took the outfit back into her adult room setting them on the bed. After sliding on some panties, socks, and one of her more childish shirts she slid the shortalls over her small frame she pulled the straps over snapping them in place. She walked into her bathroom quickly seeing she had 20 minutes before she had to be at her classroom as she stared into the mirror wondering what was missing. She reached into her drawers finding two red hair bows pulling some of her hair together before putting one bow on one side and then the other giving herself pigtails. She then noticed in the mirror that she truly looked nothing like the 28 year old educator, but a student ready for her first day at pre-school and decide that it was a bad idea. She reached for her phone quickly seeing she only had 10 minutes to be at her classroom. Eva ran out of her bathroom grabbing her purse and shoes before running out of her house towards her car. She started the engine and raced to the school as quick as she could. She was very happy that she had chose to live right around the corner or else she might of been in some real trouble. She pulled into the school seeing she had 7 minutes to get into the classroom knowing she always took the back way in knowing the front of the school was going to be packed with parents dropping off there students. When she got out of her car she then noticed a problem she realized she was still wearing the shortalls, but then knew she was going to have to worry about it later and hoped it wouldn't be that big of a deal. She pulled the back door of the school open running to her classroom that was around the corner of the hall she was on hoping there wouldn't be a line of parents waiting for her as she turned the corner quickly running straight into a stroller that she hadn't seen. Eva stared up from the ground wondering what she had just hit as a set of hands made there way under Eva's small frame as words began to form through her ears. She stared up at a woman asking her "are you hurt sweetheart? where is your mommy?" as Eva began to realize what the woman was getting at knowing the way she was dressed. Eva began to giggle at the woman telling her "mam, I am a teacher" as the older woman looked over Eva telling her "sweety it's not nice to lie to people" as Eva reached into her purse grabbing her badge showing it to the large woman. The larger woman smiled seeing the badge and reading the name "Eva Peters" and quickly responded saying "your my daughters teacher" as Eva saw the woman turn the stroller to her seeing the teenage baby inside of the stroller. The woman then stuck out her hand introducing her as Ms.Johnson and that the toddler inside was her daughter Danni. Eva opened the door to her classroom allowing the woman to push her child inside as Eva stopped to see the transition that her classroom had taken. The room had changed alot and seemed even more babyish then ever before. She walked over to the new cribs sitting beside the wall quickly seeing they were much larger then the previous one's and now had a strap inside to keep the child from moving inside. The next thing she noticed was the size of the playpen it was atleast 7 feet wide and 4 feet tall. Eva remembered the one she had at home she was just barely able to crawl out of hers and now if she was in this there would be no way of her getting out with out help. She quickly broke her trance with the soft knock at the door as she saw more children making there way into the classroom. Both mothers quickly pulled there teenage babies out of the stroller and placing them inside next to Danni. Eva walked over to introduce herself to the first woman, but quickly found herself being picked up and a hand being brought through the front of shortalls as Eva began to struggle as the woman she had met earlier Ms.Johnson quickly yelled "that's the teacher" as the older woman quickly apologized saying that makes since why I didn't feel a diaper as the three women began to laugh. Eva smiled sticking her hand out to the three women introducing herself as "Eva Peters". Both women walked over to the playpen as Eva followed listening as the first woman a tall blond with large breast introduced herself as Ms.Parker and her child McKenzie Parker and the next woman a Tall Asian woman named Ms. Martin and her child Cathy Parker. The three women began to giggle to one another as Eva asked what was so funny. They all stared at one another as they all asked "Why are you dressed like are children if your the teacher" Eva's mind began to go blank wondering what she could tell them as she quickly told them I did this so your children wouldn't feel intimidated by me and would see me just like them as Eva hoped they would buy the story. All three of them smiled at one another again saying you did a really good job as Ms.Parker spoke saying "its funny if you were wearing a diaper today you and my daughter would be twins" as Eva laughed with the mothers as the bell began to ring." Eva waved good bye to the mothers "telling them all that she would have them all taken care of" as the door began to close wondering what the day was going to bring. She looked towards the last crib wondering if she was going to have a 4th baby joining them today as Eva turned hearing a soft knock at the door wondering if that was them now. She opened the door finding the assistant principle Mrs.Ken standing there with a tall teenage girl. Eva spoke saying "good morning" as her boss quickly responded the same before saying "Eva you look so adorable" as Eva smiled thanking the woman saying "I found a new approach for the children" as Mrs.Ken told her "I knew you were going to be a good hire" as Eva smiled at the Teenage girl saying "who is this?" as Mrs. Ken said "this is Chauncey," she is in college to be come a special needs educator like yourself and volunteers with us for her school and will be your new assistant." Eva nervously smiled at the teenage girl introducing herself to her as Eva watched her crouch down her level saying "its great to meet you as well Ms. Peters and I am sure we will become great friends by the end of the semester" as Mrs.Ken spoke telling them "I am going to leave y'all to it" as Chauncey walked into the classroom past Eva who was hoping that with a new assistant wouldn't cause any problems.
  18. From the album: Me And Friends

    School really stinks when your not potty trained
  19. Hello, as my username suggests I am 100% a Dl sissy. I am essentially looking for another person that is also into these areas. Along with diapers/dresses I am interested in forced diapering punishments, & am looking to potentially delve into LGBT subjects too. I am pretty easy going but would like at least one paragraph for the RP and can be done via pm or here however you like it. I also tagged desired areas of roleplay content.
  20. I’m looking for an rp partner willing to play as both a little and big interchangeably with me! In other words: A switch. We would swap roles for each story we do. I could even be the dom/big first as long as we agree to play another one afterwards that involves me as the sub/little. As for plots, I’m thinking anything involving wetting, messing, hypnosis, fantasy elements, and/or forced regression. But above all I like to focus on humiliation! I am open to hearing out your ideas! So if any babies/switches/caregivers are interested please dm me or reply to this message!