NoIllDL

@oznl Once again, I must say that I find your relationship with your wife fascinating. And amusing. And sad.

I received my semi-annual shipment from Northshore and included were a few "free" samples. Among these samples were two cloth-covered Megamaxes. I decided to wear one to bed last night after I had purposely hydrated myself. Now, I'm not nearly the expert that some of you are and I rarely post here, but I have been a DL for at least the past 58 years and this for me was unusual: With respect and apologies to Sonny Curtis and the Bobby Fuller Four, I fought the Megamax (and the Megamax won.) Goodness, that Megamax took two mighty wettings, and then some, and swelled to such an extent that could no longer sleep in it. I actually got up and took it off in the wee (did you see what i did there?) hours of the morning so I could sleep better. Kudos to its construction and aborbancy. No leaks and no wicking and never got to the point where it felt very wet. Maybe just a little too much for me, however!

@oznl, I find your interactions and relationship with your wife endlessly fascinating. Do you believe your beloved wife would feel similarly if you had had a medical "situation" that resulted in incontinence and therefore a need for nappies? Or, is it simply the fact that you have become somewhat nappy-dependent of your own volition? How has she taken to your epilated nether regions? If she detests the idea (and reality) of you in nappies, I cannot think how she would approve of hair removal. I can only imagine the underlying tension that must exist on a day-to-day basis in your household. Next time you're in the US, look me up; while my wife may not be thrilled with my choice of undergarment, she does empathize with my personal history and psychological needs, and has never made me feel bad because of it. Plus, she might want to meet another one of "us" to make sure she's not having to deal with the only person on the planet like me!

@oznl, my wife and I are considering a trip to Australia sometime in the September to December time period next year. This will be our first foray into Oceania and I would appreciate your insight; may I DM you with some questions?

@Sadntexas: No one has replied to you yet so I guess I'll step up and give it a go. What I say here is not in the form of judgments of your life choices (except in another post you talked about flashing your diaper to a girl...do not do that; it is totally improper to subject unwilling people to your kink. Just don't.) Here, then, is my advice: If you are employed and have health coverage, check to see if that coverage includes mental health care. If it does, then get yourself to counseling as soon as possible. If you do not have mental health coverage, then see whether your town, city, or county has a free or reduced cost counseling program. If it does, then get yourself to counseling as soon as possible. Seek help. You may get some help from members who post on this forum, but remember that this is essentially a platform for those with an ABDL kink. No professional counselor can treat you solely via the internet. What interests do you have (other than ABDL)? Motorcycles? Church? Cars? Athletics of any kind? Heck, Civil War re-enactment? Clubs are an excellent way to meet people and make friends. Your posts are difficult to read because there is little or no punctuation. (Remember--no judgment from me--just stating a fact.) From what I read, it sounds as if you may have been "lost in the shuffle" in high school. Consider an adult literacy program to refresh your communication skills. There are many not-for-profit programs in my area of the country, but I cannot speak about what is available in Texas. If your brother is chasing away your old friends, then consider whether you want your brother living with you. People may be associating your brother's poor life choices with you. My opinion--and it's really only my opinion--is that you should remove yourself from negative influences. To that end, do something that makes you feel better about yourself. Wake up and make your bed. Do the laundry. Clean the house if it needs it. If you are still smoking weed, then cut back on the frequency of use. These things will not cure your depression, of course, but they are things about which you can say, "I did this today. Tomorrow I will do that." Take care of yourself physically. Shower regularly (not that you don't, of course!), wear clean clothes when you go out, make sure your beard and hair are trimmed and combed, and when you do go out, be sure that you are polite to others. Engage others in conversation if you can. Finally, to reiterate: Seek mental health counseling as soon as possible.

Repeatedly waxing or epilating will eventually cause the hair to come in much thinner and some hair will not come back at all.

Well done, @oznl! My wife is more "accommodating" than your beloved, and she had the brilliant idea of epilating my nether region. (This as a sort of comeuppance for the years she endured Brazilian waxing at my request.) It certainly hurt beyond anything my poor vocabulary can describe; you are a true trooper if you self-epilated. I had to hang on to the head board while she took the epilator in hand, and even then it was just about more than I could endure. The good news now that we're six weeks in is that the pain gets much, much less with each passing week: there's simply less hair to be ripped out. I do draw the line at epilating Mr. Happy and the Boys. I will continue to take the razor to those most sensitive bits.

Agreed. Pretty much useless.

@Little Sherri A fun read so far. My most picky comment: In Chapter 5, the Mexican restaurant's name should be Los Hombres, rather than Las Hombres (hombres is a plural masculine noun in Spanish).

You have a whole pile of issues to deal with--more than any one person here can help you with on-line. Your hurts run very deep and there are many layers to sort out. If you are employed and have insurance benefits, check with your HR director to see if those benefits include mental health services. If not, then try your state or county agency that deals with mental health issues. Good luck and stay strong.

Indeed. My wife is a saint to have put up with me for nearly 40 years. We still enjoy a good "cuddle" and the coals of passion are still there even if the teenage bonfire has subsided.

@oznl I am barely worthy to stand in your nappied shadow: In the cooler months I wear maybe 75% of the time. Similar to you I am married to a vanilla woman. Unlike your experience--at least until some of your more recent positive(ish) experiences--my wife has always been tolerant of my "thing," including our time between the sheets. For most of the past four years you have described your beloved's attitude as being hostile, or at very least, passive-aggressive toward your nappied self. My question: Do you have intimate relations with your wife? If so, how do you get around your weakened continence? I imagine your beloved would be considerably less than pleased if you leaked before, during, or after intercourse.

I agree with many listed above, but would add: Ingrid Bergman, Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn, Lauren Bacall, Audrie Hepburn, and Jenna Ortega.

@Little SherriI only hope that when my secret comes to light (other than to my spouse, who is in on the secret) that I am able to handle it with such aplomb.

@rusty pins Good point, and exactly why I wrote "possible BS post". I didn't know whether hydro4404 had updated his age since joining. I still have my doubts, but I am happily willing to be proved wrong!

@hydro4404 I have to call you out for a possible BS post. If you really are 27 years old, then you must be quite the prodigy to be a practicing surgeon at such a young age. Graduate high school at 18. Four years to get your bachelors degree puts you at 22. Four years of medical school puts you at 26. A surgery residency at 5 to 7 years would have you clocking-in in your early to mid-30s. Where did you attend medical school? Where did you do your residency?

@Yug Northern "Western Wisconsin" like Hayward, or southern "Western Wisconsin" like Prairie du Chien?

@ChiGuy79 Far NE Kane County here.

The old adage "Time heals all wounds" comes to mind. And, while time may not heal all of your psychological wounds, time will lessen them. I am sincerely sorry for your loss and the trauma you suffered at the hands of your mother.

No one can stop you from doing what you ultimately decide to do, but first call 988, the new toll-free nation-wide suicide prevention line. Also, if you are still in Missouri, then you can perhaps reach out to resources available to you. See https://www.mo.gov/health/mental-health/

Retired attorney.

I would not. A legitimate business person would take forms of payment other than an Amazon gift card. Distance yourself from this scammer.

While I know that it is highly, highly unlikely that I remember anything from the time I was in the crib--and any "memory" may be because there is a picture of me in the crib with a top on and just a diaper and plastic pants. I was on my stomach and a stuffed animal was under my private area. Nonetheless, in my heart-of-hearts I swear I can remember my mom taking the photo. Perhaps the click of the camera or the pop of the flash bulb woke me. In this "memory", I recall how good everything felt: the diaper, the plastic pants, the stuffed animal rubbing on me. I recall heaven. But, as @Kiddieo said above, "Early memories can be a bit of a tricky thing."

Passed through the Nudi-scope at O'Hare. TSA detected an anomaly near my ankle so I got pulled aside for further inspection. I was wearing shorts and "socklets" that didn't even reach my ankle. I understand the the TSA has a tough job, but really?

Zzz-Quil or the store brand equivalent.