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cruxshadow

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About cruxshadow

  • Rank
    Diaper Pro
  • Birthday 11/26/1980

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    37

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    Diaper Lover
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  1. cruxshadow

    Help finding videos?

    Yeah, the more I think about it, this was actually one of my favorite videos, and the #1 video I've been trying to find again. I've downloaded some videos with Amy in the name, but it's never this one. Her mom, with a very raspy smoker's voice, yells at her for spilling her yogurt. This causes Amy to pee herself, her mom flips out, bathes her upstairs, and goes to the neighbor's to get diapers (allegedly for a baby, but they are those great, thick Attends from the 90's.) "Amy," not the greatest of actresses, and not knowing what to say, repeatedly exclaims "What? What is this!? I hate this!" before going off into incoherent lamentations.
  2. cruxshadow

    Northshorecare MegaMax

    Mine too! Though any money I get needs to be spent elsewhere. 😥
  3. cruxshadow

    Happy ABDL Halloween!!! (Using your ABDL side as your costume)

    Well done. Even when I was a raver, I never used a pacifier once, aside from when I got home, even when I should have been. I just chewed gum. Then again, looking hot, and how others perceived me were much bigger priorities back then. I did go to a party in drag once, but it was Rocky Horror themed, so I wasn't the only one.
  4. Hmm. Unless someone's directly harassing me, I'm quite indifferent. Is it just merely someone expressing an opinion which differs from yours? Because that's truly a gift. I'd hate to be surrounded by people who merely parroted my own thoughts.
  5. cruxshadow

    Tommy from DPF

    I could have sworn that I'd replied to this topic long ago. Perhaps my comment was among those which were lost. It was, through jokingly typing "diapers" in a search engine among friends in my H.S. computer lab, that I'd discovered I was not alone. I laughed and closed the site, only to revisit it when I got home. I was one of several adolescents, among far too many adults, who posted to the teen section, and that section only. It was my second home, but eye-opening in more ways than one, as a source of both positive, and negative experiences. Despite the inaugural sense of community, I also was invited by a man twice my age to come over to his house, and join him for a "cool ba-ba," including a picture which featured him tearing off his too-tight overalls, exposing his diaper. This frightened me, and has prevented me from engaging with any others in my region. Despite my name change, 21 years later, he now follows me on this site, likely unaware of who I was. I truly do believe it is a coincidence. Nonetheless, when I saw that name, every forgotten component of that email, sent years prior, returned to me with absolute clarity. That, of course, is not Tommy's fault, may he rest in peace. I truly do appreciate his contributions to our community. The internet was young then, and was as lawless as the old west.
  6. cruxshadow

    Has anyone tried little dreamers?

    Reddit!? You traitor! <-----Joking. I have an account too, though I seldom use their ADBL subs. I really, really like the color of their Fantasy diaper. For AB diapers, I prefer more pastel colors, but that purple is so deep, and lush, I just want to sink into it. I'm not particularly enamored with rocking horses though; not one bit.
  7. cruxshadow

    Gender fluid diaper lover with problems

    That's interesting that your mom is more ok with you cross-dressing, than being genderless. Well, the more I think about it, something self-aware animals, such as ourselves, have always had the utmost trouble with is uncertainty. Despite the long, slow death of the "god of the gaps" which is scientific discovery, many still cling to religions for this reason. And one of the most often posited arguments, as to human nature is "nature vs nurture," when in reality, both have a hand in creating who we are. Complex answers terrify us. I used to wear mostly women's clothing, seldom dresses, but all my shirts and pants were women's. I was too skinny for men's clothes, but they also just seemed to "fit" me better, in other ways. It used to torment me, that I wasn't born a woman, until I started to, semi-secretly (my queer friends knew) transition. At that point, I realized that I didn't feel like a woman either, and that I somehow related neither fully related to men nor women. This was a good 5 or 6 years before all this talk of gender neutrality came to prominence, and even in the LGBT community, this wasn't something which was understood, discussed, and most of all, it wasn't something that was accepted. Along with being queer in that sense, I was also bi. But many men, and women, though more often the former than the latter, thought I was pretty, regardless of their orientation. They attempted to "take" things from me, with varying degrees of success, from marginal, to complete. Things which are to be given, rather than taken. Due to this, I became disinterested in men, and attempted to dress as masculine as I could tolerate, to attract more women; but instead I just looked like a soft butch. Most of the women who hit on me at bars, and bought me drinks, had mistaken me for a lesbian. Though now, nearing 40, the femininity which is youth, has begun to fade from my face.
  8. cruxshadow

    Are You Satisfied?

    Attends w/blue tapes: The brand itself is ruined, and I think they're phasing out plastic all together (even though they're paper thin now.) Tena: I haven't tried their new plastic diaper, but it looks like it has less padding coverage, a weird cut, and is thinner. DC Amor: Ehen they had the anime girl, then they changed it to be a similar repeating pattern, like every other AB diaper, eliminating a unique product. Molicare Super Plus: It was purple, but is now hospital blue, which I don't like, though I still wear them. Goodnites (girls): The inside seems to fall apart after a day and a half, as well as the outer tissue peeling off (which is sometimes fun for a plastic cover,) and starting this term, I've been wearing all but 6 to 8 hours a week, as I fence, which involves tight white pants. As a poor college student, I can't afford to wet them everyday, plus I think they're cute, so I wear them more than any other diaper. I guess my diaper history consists of loving a certain product, before they change them (no pun intended). I've recently gotten ABU SDKs, which I like quite a bit, they look so much like the diapers I'd sneak and try to squeeze into when I was a kid, and since only size small was available, it really recreates the experience. I only tried a sample of those once, but loved them.
  9. cruxshadow

    Happy ABDL Halloween!!! (Using your ABDL side as your costume)

    Not sure where best to mention this. But today at college, someone mentioned two of their friends were going as Phil and Lil from Rugrats, and was showing someone a photo of "Lil's" costume. Wondering what they did for the diaper, expecting a sheet, I asked "Can I see?" She showed me her phone, and her friend was wearing a very thick, plastic covered diaper. I'm not sure what brand it was, but even the front side of the wings were heavily padded. Unfortunately, it's not like I could have been like Quagmire and said "That's hilarious, you should send me a copy of that." Not sure if she's an AB, or if she got some "baby costume" off the internet, that has a massive backstock of old adult diapers. It looked very 90s.
  10. I haven't really enjoyed any non-animated series in years, because it's all the same crap over and over again. I did like Ash vs Evil Dead, but it was canceled, sadly. I've been meaning to watch Raw, but keep forgetting. Maybe tonight. Edit: Yep, it's a shame she was wearing them over her pants.
  11. cruxshadow

    Possible ABDL in Be More Chill

    Wow. In the photos, she's wearing a proper diaper with plastic pants. The production in the video just has her wearing frilly panties. All in all, great find.
  12. cruxshadow

    Diaper mention in Family Guy

    This reminds me of when I was watching "Awakenings" as a kid, and saw Robert de Niro getting his diaper changed. It was the first time I realized that adult diapers, and the need for them, existed. Every time I see this Family Guy scene, I'm reminded of that moment. Yeah, he says "As you can see, my family's here (seen are a woman in lingerie, with a long powdered-wig, and a nude man on a tractor in chase,) and it's game night. We're playing................sex. (slams door)
  13. cruxshadow

    Do catherers hurt?

    Oh geez. After the rubber cement remark, my mind read surgilube into superglue. 😱
  14. cruxshadow

    Which color do you like your diapers to be?

    I like white, but pink and purple as well. My favorite "adult" adult diaper, after the old Attends with 6 blue tapes, were Molicare Super Plus. But now they're medical blue, instead of lavender.
  15. cruxshadow

    Would you sacrifice your kink for love? 

    I'd try, though due to the reason I have PTSD, I don't see myself dating again.