Cute_Kitten

I'm glad you enjoy the story so much, and thanks for commenting. 'Tis appreciated!

I just realized I never reposted this after it got wiped in the virus/ purge. So, I'm reposting it now. This was a collaboration with the awesome Personalias. Also, shameless plug time: If you have Kindle Unlimited on Amazon, you can read my new stories for free anytime you like. (There's diapers and beach fun with Beach Baby and Summer Swim, romance with Secrets To Keep, Fae magic in The Rainbow's End, and a serial killer thriller in Daddy's Girl.) See my profile for links to each story. https://www.amazon.com/C-K-Kat/e/B07WQHB9RR/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1 Personalias is on patreon, where you can check out his latest stories. https://www.patreon.com/personalias OF LEOPARDS AND THEIR SPOTS by Personalias and CK CuteKitten A note to the reader: I'm not an Adult Baby, or a Diaper Lover, or Ageplayer, or AB/DL, or Little, or whatever you wanna call someone who…who likes wearing diapers and pretending to be a baby. I know that's not how you're supposed to start these kind of things, but it's really important to me that you know where I'm coming from. Was I ignorant of that fetish? No. Not at all. I'm not claiming that. I went through…an experimental phase in late high school…and early college…and all through my childhood I kept thinking about that one Tom and Jerry cartoon-you know the one-or that Bugs Bunny Cartoon…or that Porky Pig and Daffy cartoon…I think you're missing the point here. I could go for months at a time without ever visiting one of those sites. And I'd never visit a site that required me to become a member to look at their pictures or read the stories. I never made an account. I never wore "AB" diapers or bought big baby clothes. I haven't worn diapers of any kind since I was potty trained. I never even thought of doubling up on underwear to get that padded feel; too risky,too many questions. People who get in too deep with that stuff never get out. They never have lives of their own, and they just get stuck living in their mom's basements, swimming through their own sick fantasies. That's why I played it smart: I'd lurk. I'd skim. I'd satisfy any lingering curiosity, and then I'd go cold turkey…till the next time. I mean, you can't really judge a person for what's in their head, can you? If you have dirty thoughts, you're still a virgin till you hook up with someone. Did I have those thoughts? Sometimes. Enough times. Maybe too often. But I didn't act on those thoughts. I'm not an AB/DL or Ageplayer or Little, or whatever. I never wore a diaper, or big baby clothes, or was a registered member with any of those sites, and what I may or may not have wanted at any given time is irrelevant, isn't it? No sense in thought crime, is there? Point is, I was normal. I even had a girlfriend; operative word being "had". And when it comes down to it, that's what this story is really about: How I had a girlfriend and how over the course of a day, I lost that relationship because of all this Adult Baby bullshit. By the way, my name's Gavin. Prepare to hear about the weirdest and worst day of my life

Ichiro lay Yuki back on the mat, careful to avoid the pee puddle. He cleaned the puddle up with a wipe. Two swift, simultaneous tugs ripped the diaper open, then Ichiro lowered the front, wrinkling his nose at the mess inside. Yuki closed his eyes. The rubber nipple of his pacifier poked at his bottom lip, but he shook his head at the offer. He usually took a pacifier or a bottle during diaper changes, but he wanted Ichiro to see him as a big boy. Big girl. A woman. As much of a woman as he could be, anyway. It was hard to feel grown up when someone was changing his wet and messy diaper covered in juvenile hearts. Not a medical incontinence brief, but a big baby diaper for a big baby. He wanted to blush, to feel embarrassed by that, but it reassured him instead. He felt secure and loved; it was okay to be a helpless baby. Ichiro would protect him. “Oh, yuck. You really did a number on this diaper.” Yuki cracked open his eyes, giggling at the disgusted expression on Ichiro’s handsome face. His nose wrinkled at the smell, mouth scrunched up on one side. “It’s not funny.” That only made Yuki giggle more. “Ugh. I should’ve changed you at the cafe. This diaper really took a pounding.” Ichiro used wipes for the worst of the mess. After stewing in the hot swamp of the saturated diaper, the warm open air was cool on Yuki’s privates. He shivered, a drop of pee squirting out. He never noticed. Ichiro warmed the wipes up in his hand. Yuki’s diaper area was already wet and warm from the diaper, so all he felt was the press and glide of the wipes as Ichiro cleaned him. With one hand, Ichiro crossed Yuki’s slim legs at the ankle and lifted them into the air, raising his bottom to get the mess off. Yuki’s weight rolled onto his shoulders and upper body, pinning him helplessly in place. The squishy vinyl of the changing mat was cold on his bare back. Once Yuki was as clean as baby wipes could get him, Ichiro switched to warm, soapy water and a washcloth. He cleaned every nook and cranny of Yuki’s butt and surgically created vagina. So clean it was like taking a bath without the tub. Ichiro put the dirty wipes and diaper into a plastic grocery bag he used for a trash bag. The crinkly bag was like a noisy diaper to Yuki’s ears. Ichiro smiled softly, comfortable in daddy mode. He picked up a bright pink rectangle and fluffed it out. This monster diaper had purple and white hearts all over. He slid the diaper under Yuki then lowered him onto the cushiony padding. It was like laying on a thick pillow. Despite the diaper change, Yuki fully couldn’t give into the helpless, infantile feelings that usually accompanied his changes. After a heavy dose of ‘medicine’ in his poison conditioning, he didn’t think at all; his brain switched off, turning him into a big baby. Even in his adult mind, he enjoyed the love and safety he felt as a baby. But not right now. Frustration stuffed every fiber of his being. He’d quit thinking, just trying to enjoy the change and a clean diaper as he tried to resign himself to failure. Sex wasn’t in the cards tonight. He’d ruined that with his fear and crying. His self control crumbled when old memories crawled out from the caverns of his mind, monsters waiting to devour him. Hurt him all over again. He felt them salivating in the dark, waiting for any romantic kiss, any passionate touch, to pounce. Yuki shuddered, cold inside as he lay naked, exposed and vulnerable on top of his open diaper. Ichiro pawed through the fuzzy purple diaper bag. Chika had messed the contents up into a chaotic jumble. He dug around for the diaper cream. Yuki couldn’t even get past his fears long enough to seduce his fiance. He cringed in self-loathing and disgust, rolling off the diaper and onto his side, curling up into a fetal position. His thumb slipped into his mouth. His fingers brushed a silky soft rose petal on the floor in front of the fire. A romantic setting, perfect for Valentine’s Day. Proof that Ichiro had been hoping for more physical intimacy than just changing Yuki’s diaper. Maybe he could still talk Ichiro into it… “This thing’s a royal mess. I’m going to kill Chika...Ah, here it is.” Ichiro turned back to Yuki. “Little one, where are you going without your diapee? Do you want to see if your leg will let you crawl? Let’s get a clean diapee on you first.” Large, gentle hands guided Yuki back onto the diaper. Yuki didn’t resist, soft and pliant. Once he was on his back, Ichiro positioning him just so on the diaper, he held up the rose petal. “Ichiro?” “Yes, little one?” Ichiro unscrewed the cap on the diaper cream tube. “Look at me the way men look at Chika.” He waved the petal in offering. Ichiro didn’t take it. His face fell, stricken. “You hoped tonight would turn out different. You want the same thing I do.” Yuki sat up, flat stomach muscles contracting. The thick diaper rustled under him. “No.” Ichiro’s cheeks pinked, clashing with the fiery spikes of his dyed hair. “Then what did you want to do with me tonight?” Yuki asked softly, reaching up to caress Ichiro’s cheek with the petal. “Nothing you’re ready for.” Ichiro stiffened but he didn’t pull away. “Let me be the judge of that. Trust me the way I trust you.” Yuki shifted on top of his open diaper. With his girly parts safely on the snowy padding, there was no way he could pee on anything. He pressed the petal to Ichiro’s lips. His heart trembled, as did his fingers. His chest tightened, an invisible band squeezing his lungs. He held firm, staring up into concerned green eyes with the poutiest puppy face he could manage. He was too emotionally scarred by the past to have sex appeal like Chika did, but he knew how to work the cute angle. Ichiro pulled away from Yuki’s fingers. The petal fluttered to the floor. He leaned down, the green in his eyes darkening like night settling in on a forest. His forehead touched Yuki’s. Yuki’s mouth went dry at the hungry gaze, the raw passion Ichiro had been suppressing for Yuki’s sake. His heart beat like hummingbird wings. “What I wanted? To show you how beautiful you are. To love you. Worship you with my mouth.” A strangled noise escaped Yuki’s throat. The heat in those emerald eyes seared his soul, his bones. His own desire rose in answer, along with dark memories of another lustful gaze. One aching to hurt him, to rend his flesh from his bones… Yuki shuddered, swallowed his whimper and placed both hands on Ichiro’s cheeks, drawing strength from the warm flesh. “Th-then do it. I want this. You want this. Let me have it.” His voice was determined and fierce, a march to battle rather than a lover’s plea. The light dimmed, replaced by worry in Ichiro’s gaze. “Yuki, I don’t think-” Yuki squished Ichiro’s cheeks in. His lips mushed together in a fish face. Any other time, Yuki would’ve giggled. Right now, he was fending off old demons, struggling to feel nothing but desire. “No. I’ll shout chocolate sushi if I need to stop, okay? I need you, Ichiro. Under all this fear, I want you. So, take me.” The last bits of Ichiro’s iron will crumbled. He was a slave to him, this little dewy goddess. In answer, he captured Yuki’s lips in a gentle, chaste kiss. Yuki closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss It was all the invitation Ichiro needed to invade. He sucked on his bottom lip, gently biting down on the plump flesh. Yuki shuddered. From fear or passion, Ichiro couldn’t tell.

Wow. Just wow. Dude must have patience to put up with a piece of work like that. Hell, I've hit the door for less when I was younger, and that was nothing to do with diapers. At the first ultimatum, my answer would've been, "Okay" *packs bags and heads out the door* That woman sounds like a double-barreled bitch on wheels.

What Trip said- you don't have anything to apologize for. Most of the stories on this board are written for fun + because the authors feel like it. You're under no obligation to finish the story or force yourself to write if you don't feel like it- it's not like this story is a paid commission or you're under contract from a publishing house. You feel how you feel, and you shouldn't feel bad about that.

I have an ABU onesie. It's plain purple, but I like the sturdy cotton (it's not the thin, see-through cotton). I haven't had a problem with the snaps coming open, even during activity.

Good luck! Comics are fun. It sounds like a fun project! If you can't find anyone here, as a back up I'd recommend checking out the abdl artists over on deviant art.

DL with a side serving of AB

Damn. I love the strong opening; we know right away what's at stake and what trap Jack is walking into. Now the cat and mouse game is on and the question is; will Jack suffer Jackson's fate, or will he avoid it? And, being familiar with your other works, I'd add the other proverbial shoe- if he does avoid it, what will the consequences be? Conflict and tension are core strengths of your writing style and they really propel your stories along, which makes them hard to put down.

Thank you for the reply, and for letting me know what you think about the characters. When living in another country, it's funny the little things you end up missing. And the culture shock. I remember when I went to Germany, the biggest thing I missed was ketchup. Like, there's things you know will be different- for me, the big things I was warned of I adjusted to pretty easily. I liked the public pay toilets, they were very clean. But the ketchup! LOL. The fries in southern Germany and Vienna were a little funky, too- I think it was the oil they cooked them in. I bet the sealife along the Japanese coast and reefs was gorgeous. I mean, Japan is home to the Tsukiji fish market, after all. So you got watered down American TV? That doesn't sound very fun to watch. :/ I've heard Japanese TV can be interesting. Especially some of the game shows lol! To me, Yuki was a fun experiment with flipping gender issues around. I see him as a boy, myself, since he's cis-gendered but societal/outside circumstances are responsible for his girlhood. but he did transition; the other characters see him as a girl, so calling him a girl is also equally valid. A fun conundrum. I used 'he' for Yuki since on the inside, that's what he identifies as. But then, if asked, Yuki would tell another character his pronouns are "she". I hope Ichiro's coming off as a gentleman, even if he's a little rough around the edges. Ichiro's coming from a place where he's worried about her emotional/ mental well being, and Yuki...isn't worried so much. xD

Hmm...tough call. I enjoy a warm, wet diaper but I also like changing into a clean one.

Cloth or Disposable diapers? Disposable. Cloth-Backed or Plastic-Backed? Both because I like to alternate. Both would be thick for long wear + absorption, but the cloth backed for when I'm out and about and diapered for discretion. Plastic backed because when in private, I love a good, thick, crinkly loud diaper. White, Blue or Pink? PURPLE!!!! And other colors, like lemon yellow, mint green. Blue and pink aren't bad, either. A diaper bag of rainbow pastels! Plain or Printed Designs? Both- I do like plain colored diapers. But I also like prints. Maybe nothing babyish. Something like...just designs. Butterflies, flowers, maybe weather influenced stuff like suns, moons, clouds. Scented or Non-Scented? Scented Tape-Style or Pull-Up Style? Tape! I don't mind pull-ups, but I prefer actual diapers.

If I'm going to be diapered for an extended period and I've had a high fluid intake, I'll add a booster to a thick diaper like a 24/7. I usually use either baby lotion, rash cream, or petroleum jelly. Once in a while I'll use a corn starch baby powder, but after that "baby powder causing cancer in women" scare a while back I haven't really used powder.

All I had to read was "state park bathroom" and - given the state of the ones around where I live- I was all ready to say diapers are a good alternative!

I kinda know the feels. I'm more DL than AB; mostly I do wear medical diapers, but I do like AB diapers just for the fun prints.

Always when it's least expected, at least in my experience. Which is probably why I like to do it to my characters! >:) Ah, that is a good question. I actually didn't notice I did it so much until I thought about your question and looked back at my stories. I enjoy reading stories about characters with disabilities, so it tends to pop up in my writing. I mostly write about paralysis/ leg braces/wheelchairs since that's what I'm most familiar with, though I have also written about cerebral palsy, eating disorder, and amputation.

Very true. Life can be like that sometimes- you have your own plans but then life throws curve balls. At least, I've found that to be true xD

When I saw the thread title, my mind immediately jumped to horseback riding. But motorcycles are fun, too. One of my coworkers just got one; he's been riding it to work instead of taking the bus and he loves it.

Ichiro stiffened in surprise. He tried to pull back, but Yuki moved with him, keeping their lips mashed together. Pee leaked onto the mat from the diaper. Yuki’s lungs burned; he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His heart hammered and his pulse throbbed, making his head spin. He pressed into Ichiro like he was drowning, like his life depended on it. Raw anger consumed him, pushing him to desperation. Take me, Ichiro. I need this. I need you. Ichiro sank into the kiss. Yuki’s slender frame was taut with fear, radiating self-loathing. Carnal terror, not desire, drove him. Fear of the past. Fear of Ichiro? Yuki’s fear reeked almost as much as his dirty diaper. Yet his lips were so soft, his skin velvet under Ichiro’s fingers. His ribcage was frozen, not breathing. Ichiro moved his head to break the kiss, but Yuki followed again, giving no quarter. His hands stroked Yuki’s thin sides. Yuki shuddered, leaning into him with a crinkle and a squish. Ichiro’s fingers found the right spot along Yuki’s ribs and gently pressed the pressure point. Yuki’s mouth tore from his, breaking the kiss in a ragged gasp. A string of drool still connected their lips. Yuki panted, his harsh breathing filling the room. Sweat beaded his pale skin and his face flushed red. His body trembled. Ichiro’s own breathing was labored, but not to the extent Yuki’s was. “Yuki, what are you doing?” Green eyes widened in bewilderment; Yuki had never thrown himself at Ichiro like this before. “Don’t you want me? I know you do. I see it.” Yuki’s eyes were glazed, pupils dilated in determination and fear. Tears glossed his eyes. He reached for Ichiro’s crotch and the evident bulge of his hard arousal. A large hand grasped his thin wrist, the hold gentle but firm. “No, Yukihime. Not like this.” Ichiro closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose. By all the kami, he wanted her. Him. No matter how Yuki felt on the inside, Ichiro couldn’t help but view Yuki as a girl. Yuki’s voice was high and sweet, his body soft and supple, gently curved. Untouched by testosterone. The only hint of boyishness was his flat chest. His pulse raced, hot with need and desire. His body burned, aching to possess Yuki. Make that pliant body his. But not like this, not stiff and scared. He wanted Yuki sweet and submissive, yearning with wanton desire that matched Ichiro’s own. “It’s Valentine’s Day. We’re married.” “No, we’re not. Our clans signed the wedding contract. We didn’t have the ceremony yet.” “Close enough for me. Please, Ichiro-kun?” Yuki’s hand was still close to Ichiro’s groin. A dainty finger poked his crotch, rubbing the stiffness under his gray slacks. Ichiro’s harsh gasp filled Yuki’s ears. The fingers tightened around his wrist, bones shifting. His hand went limp; he winced. Ichiro immediately released him at the accidental squeeze. “Ichiro. I want you. Please?” Yuki’s pink lips trembled. Ichiro’s heart cracked at the soft plea. “That’s not what your body’s telling me.” Ichiro bent down, warm breath ghosting over Yuki’s skin, causing him to shiver. “My body’s stupid. Ignore it.” “I won’t do anything to hurt you. I love you.” Aishiteru. The word warmed Yuki’s insides, filling up the cold, empty and insecure corners of his heart. Gaijins threw that word around a lot. It seemed to mean little to them. To the Japanese- both human and yokai- it was rare. Like gold and diamonds. The word was not used lightly. It meant a love as deep as the sea and as enduring as the mountains. It spurred Yuki to press forward more. He still needed to break the chains of fear shackling him to the past. He knew breaking those chains would be painful. He was ready, but he needed Ichiro’s strength. “Then why won’t you?” The crackling fire smothered his barely audible whisper. “You’re scared just kissing.” Muscular arms wrapped around Yuki, gathering him to Ichiro’s chest. Yuki buried his face in Ichiro’s shirt, the cashmere warm with his body heat. Ichiro’s pants were still dark with wet spots where Yuki’s diaper had leaked at dinner. “I’m tired of being scared. I’m sick of crying all the time.” Yuki’s voice turned bitter. His hands fisted in Ichiro’s sweater. The blue fabric was soft beneath his cheek. “I won’t be a victim. Not anymore. I haven’t had s-sex since that night. I..I need to know I...can do it.” Ichiro kissed the top of Yuki’s head, strands of hair sticking to his lips. His large hands rubbed circles on Yuki’s bare back. The calluses on his palm and fingers skimmed over the velvety skin and scratched over the thick, slippery plastic of the messy diaper. His other hand cupped the diaper’s swollen bottom, patting the messy lumps. They mushed against Yuki’s backside, but he didn’t care. “Yuki, you’re pushing yourself before you’re ready. What if this hurts you more?” “It won’t. I know it. I feel it. It’s like when you fall off a horse.” “A horse that’s trampled and maimed you.” “All the more reason to do it. I need to face my fear. I’m sick of it controlling me. I need my life back.” “Even if you can do it, doesn’t mean you’re magically healed.” “I know.” Yuki paused then suddenly his bony shoulders shook with giggles. “What’s so funny?” “A magical healing cock. Suck a dick, doctor’s orders.” Yuki burst into laughter. Ichiro snorted in amusement. Yuki laughed until his sides ached and his stomach cramped up. His bladder let loose, pee trickling out of the diaper to form a puddle on the changing mat. The laughter was cathartic, a release of pent up emotion. When the giggle fit died down, Yuki was left a leaky, boneless heap, dependent on Ichiro to hold him up. “How about letting me change your diaper now?” “Oh, alright.”

It depends. If we were highly compatible and they had qualities that I value more than my kink, and assuming my kink would be a hard limit for them, then yes. I would be willing to sacrifice my kink. Or at least, not indulge it when they're around.

In privacy, I love a good, thick, plastic-backed disposable. But for out and about in public, discreteness is important to me, I go for cloth backed disposables. I probably wear cloth backed a lot more than I do plastic backed. What everyone's already mentioned about cloth backed is true. Especially adjusting the tapes on active days. I also do tend to change my cloth backed diapers a little sooner than I would a plastic backed one. But I've had all kinds of diapers leak- everything from thin pull-ups to Dry 24/7s and Rearz Safaris.

From my stepfather, I learned following instructions is important unless you want the inflatable pool to collapse multiple times. (Actually, my mom's the one who read the instructions and fixed the pool after the water bill got larger than my stepdad's ego. )

I've also learned a lot about myself, the world, and considered other points of view through reading books. I use writing as a way of exploring different ideas, etc.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know the feeling. I've had my car messed with before. I don't live in the best or safest of neighborhoods, and there's local thugs you always have to keep an eye out for. Last summer, our neighbors had their grill and porch furniture stolen. The cameras are a great idea. Hope you can put this ordeal behind you soon and feel safe and secure again! The feeling of having your sanctuary violated is the worst. :/

This was strange, but in a refreshingly wonderful way. =D I really enjoyed it- it was a perfect diapered homage to Lovecraft. I loved how the narrative voice and syntax echoed his works/ his literary style.