Heya Nikki, I think like many things, being gay or even transgendered too you can feel just the same and not want anyone to know the secret, you have to accept yourself before you can learn to be more open about it with prospective partners or friends. In time you should find someone who will accept it, there are a lot of people out there who are looking too so chances are you have to come across somebody sometime.
When you feel comfortable enough with it you could look at one of the many sites apart from this that do dating, including diapermates which has its own link from daily diapers, and the many site like myspace too.
All I can say is there are many worse things in this world that being and ab or dl, it really isn't such a big deal and I really hope more people can acccept it over time. I wish you luck with your search for friends in your area you can share this with, I am sure there will be a few peeps here that arent too far or may know people close by too!
xxx