kumagoro11

So to give more details, the episode aired last night. They interviewed the woman who owns the house now, she was interviewed wearing her little outfit in the nursery. And then through out the night they shot pretty much the whole show from there, walking around the adult sized crib and plenty of shots of the diaper changing station where all the diapers are clearly on display. It was the weirdest yet normal-ist thing to watch where no one even mentions anything and continues all the while they're in this adult baby room painted all in pink with everything on display including a huge crib.

On the Travel Channel right now the Ghost Adventure group is investigating a house previously used by the first serial killer in the US, HH Holmes. The woman who owns the house has a full ABDL nursery in the attic where they're shooting the show... *edit spelling error and the show is not live, sorry.

Just a heads up, it looks like the Walgreens Certainty brand pull-ups (men,women, and overnight) are now being sold on Amazon under the Solimo brand (owned by Amazon). You get twice the amount ($24 for 60) for the same price in store and if you have Amazon Prime, free shipping.

Hey John, not to intrude too much but do you have a movement regularly as in every morning? I do think it would be somewhat easy to train yourself that say 7AM is "boom boom" time. Personally I take fiber to keep me regular, which might also be the cause for losing the rear part easier, I have a form of IBS. I can either be constipated or get the sweats and then an accident almost immediately. I will say that being blocked up does effect me from urination when fecal matter is pressing inside the colon against the bladder. Apologies , perhaps too much information but I feel being able to explain as much as possible will help everyone come to a conclusion. Honestly to answer your question, I don't really know if long term it will lead you to having accidents. The anal sphincter is not the same as your pc muscles, but you do use them also for holding movements and also expelling them. I believe in a situation where the person is immobile that have routines as to avoid accidents by using either an enema or suppository. As for your case I would imagine that as long as your empty as much as possible it should help.

If you wear all the time you'll start to notice a regularity to your movements. A key ingredient for making an easier transition is using fiber in your diet. It took a long time to be honest, but once I became lose in the front by weak pc muscles, they also are used for holding in bowl movements. I can go about an hour after eating, but I still know for the most part. I believe I will always know about going but if I don't hold it, it will become much more easier. I still think I have another five or so years for this. Your most welcome, I enjoy answering people's questions on here so feel free if you have any. My guess is good as yours on how this will work out in the long haul. I am at the moment testing out my theory on not masturbating for flexing the pc muscles. About 30 days in right now on my longest trial, seems to be proving my theory on keeping lose. Find it much more easier to void and get urges to go immediately.

You are most welcome. You know, make sure to try the walking while wetting part, you'd be surprised. I never really tried and then one day I could feel myself voiding and was like "what's the worst that could happen, the flow stops". So I started and I was like oh wow wow, it still is coming out although I could feel it. Now, over time, I don't even feel it. My only guess is by making the PC muscle weaker, it no longer pinches the urethra while going. I also had the going up the stairs issue. At first it wouldn't happen at all. Then one day while I was in the basement heading back up (putting a load of cloth diapers in), I could feel the "here it comes" moment. Usually I would just stand at the bottom of the stairs until it stopped but this time I just went for it. It hurt as I could feel it being closed off during the ascent but as soon as I got to the top, it burst right out and continued. And slowly but surely this stopped too, to now which it doesn't stop while going up/down the stairs. The worst problem I found was when it would hurt and then you'd end up creating a feedback loop where your brain says "yeah, not like that or you know, it'll hurt" and so you become more cautious. This becomes a set back. For me what happened was I wanted to make sure I could go all the time. I don't know about you, but for me if I'm backed up so to speak, going becomes way more challenging. So of course what I would want to do is void everything all the time to make it more routine. This in time will for sure make going much easier. Also using fiber and moving around during the day makes things more regular. Being stationary all day causes problems.

I like the 12 month program, there is some interesting concepts in it and I followed it when I was starting. However, it really seems to be a very long long journey in losing the ability to wetting yourself. Which in a sense, is a good thing. You're really going to have to retrain yourself and it takes a long time. What you end up with is some form of PC muscle atrophy and leakage due to weakening the external sphincter. Also keeping things loose down there makes it extremely easy to go in any position, its like retraining muscle memory. I think long term it leads to a thickening of the bladder wall which makes it more difficult to holding fluid as the elasticity starts to go. What you don't get is a never knowing, not feeling it like with a cath. But don't kid yourself, at this stage you're what medical professionals will label as urinary incontinent. If you were to take a test, your bladder will most likely contract violently due to not holding a lot of fluid for a very long time and for sure will contract to expel it. You will feel it to, not pleasant but you won't be able to stop it. I just had something like this happen about a week ago. I woke up to a very full (or thought due to the bulkiness) diaper. As soon as I lifted myself up I could tell right away that I had urine to pass but I was afraid of wetting the bed. In an instant not really thinking it through I could start to feel urine pass when I tried to stop the flow by contracting. Uh, it didn't work, it stopped for maybe a millisecond as I think what was me re-shifting myself off the bed and then continued without a hitch. Wow, talk about realizing that if I was out and about, I would have for sure ending up wetting myself. Or when you think you're going and then it seems like it stopped only to realize and feel more wetness. I can feel large amounts coming out, or what I think are large amounts. This is probably more like 3-4 ounces now, at most. Anything lower, like maybe an ounce has become extremely difficult to feel when voiding. I get more like a vibration of the urine hitting the padding and reverberating back on my penis. There is no way of being able to hold a minimal normal 16 ounces of fluid. To give you an example, if I remember correctly (been awhile), when you void you can feel the bladder contract and I could anyway feel the urine pass through the urethra. Also (for me), I could not for example where a belt or something tight around my abdomen while voiding. Things would have to be loose so to speak, also no erections or would have to wait a bit before being able to go. Now, I can wear tight fitting plastic pants that snug my abdomen and my thighs and pass urine easily without even thinking about it. I do not feel the bladder contracting or the urine passing through the urethra. I can still feel something at the end of my penis but like I said, this is mostly due to the splashing of urine coming out hitting my skin bouncing off the diaper. So some background on my journey. When I started I could: Hold a fairly large amount of urine. Had a shy bladder, like a rock could go up to 8 hours without using the restroom. Could not pass urine with an erection. Did not leak seamen or prefluid. Could hold off on ejaculation for a long time, very strong PC muscles. Never wet the bed or have an accident during the day. Now five years in, that is completely opposite. When I started wearing and finally made the decision, some of the things I remember off the top of my head are: Year 1 I could void a lot of fluid, I didn't end up voiding every 15-30 minutes. When I went, it was a fairly a large volume at once. I had plenty of issues with wearing due to the excitement (fetish) of the diaper itself. No close fitting clothing or plastic pants too tight, could not void sitting down at a 90 angle or laying down. I had to constantly get up at night to void and then return to sleep. Erections were strong and some times painful if the diaper was not loose enough in the crotch area. Constantly worried about leaking. Diaper rash, get use to it cause until the skin gets tough enough, yeah. Year 2 Going easier, but still holding urine. Still could not void sitting down, I would have to use my arms to lift myself off the chair or lean forward/backward to relieve myself. Going while laying down still a challenge, I remember the painful bursting feeling trying to go without anything happening. Still getting up at night to void, either by standing completely up or kneeling on the bed or on all fours to void. When going in public I needed it to be quiet, was not use to just you know, going. Could not go while walking or going up the stairs. Year 3 Voiding amount has been reduced, at this point large amount no longer happen. I can still feel it coming out and for sure remember getting bladder pains if holding to long. It's around year 2-3 that I could finally stop feeling the constantly want to contract during voiding. The contraction you'd feel at the bottom of your penis where the PC/external sphincter is trying to control the flow. Almost from the start I had tried not to force anything out or closing this sphincter after stopping. I could kinda go in a chair, I would have to lean to one side or another. Had to be cushioned though. Getting better at laying down, but I had to be on my back. Still would not void on my side. I did start having or realizing that I was wetting during my sleep. There was also points here when I changed myself that there would easily be drops coming out during changing. Year 4 Around this time things started to become much easier in going all the time. I think year 3 was a crucial year in that this was probably the turning point. I could still somewhat retain but I found if I became sick (cold), I would loose everything and experience incontinence. This is also the time when I could go a lot longer with diapers and changing since the void amount was a lot smaller. Would give plenty of time for the diaper to absorb and not leak. Matter of fact, I don't remember leaking at all in year 4. I started to forget how to do certain tasks down there. I realized I couldn't figure out what to do to squeeze the last drops out. Erections by now were a lot weaker. I would have problems with playing with myself if it lasted more that 20 minutes in the fact I could feel I needed to go. Diapers could get a bit more snug but not too much. Going while laying down now works, sometimes still having to concentrate on relaxing the entire body. Year 5 Around the transition from year 4-5 I lost that bladder feeling. Now I get a "going now" and it just comes out. Started wearing thicker diapers as they can last a lot longer and the need for them. There is no way of being able to wear underwear at this point, I would have an accident for sure and probably wouldn't even notice it. Temperature change causes me to void, I need to wear some type of protection getting out of the shower or I'll ruin the rugs. A few brief strokes/tugs of my very sensitive penis will cause ejaculation. Since I no longer contract the external sphincter which controls/helps the prostate. Can go while having an erection as well. This is a very weird feeling. Mostly if playing around I will be sitting on a diaper as for sure I will start going. Standing, walking, talking, laying down, even upside down I can go. I don't think about it at all pretty much, I couldn't even tell you how many times I void in a day, but it has to be around 20ish? Any irritants to the bladder will cause immediate voiding, much quicker than normal. For instance, drinking coffee. Can wear anything at this point and snug as possible, there is no more needing to relax or loosening the belt area. In order to achieve this, I make sure I drink fluids all through the day to stay hydrated. I always had made sure to void before going to sleep (when I could feel it). I did listen to hypno files, and although I don't think they put a spell on me, they are encouraging, kinda like how like minded people here helping each other along. I never once wore underwear. I kept them around in the attic for about three years and then finally decided to just throw them out, which is now funny because I just now bought some, but for use with pads when I work out (for about an hour's worth tops). I now wear bodysuits almost all the time to keep from diaper sag. I don't care what anyone thinks, I have never been confronted about it and I've never seen anyone look. Honestly, I don't care about that either, lol. I've changed sheets more than I can think until I got a good routine down, still have the occasional leak. I have noticed, most likely due to drinking all the time and voiding, I have a much better skin complexion and my sickness time is much shorter. Most likely to passing the virus through quicker and not becoming dehydrated, which can prolong a cold.

Surprisingly from what I can remember (was years ago), no. I'm coming up to 6 years now and I can say a few things have changed since around the two year period. Comparison I hardly feel anything when going, unless I'm wearing really tight pants that somehow cut off the flow, I don't hardly feel anything. Which has been a weird feeling, I can only assume that the nerves that feedback into the brain are either being ignored or don't respond the way they use to. Perhaps this is the feedback loop that you have when you're a newborn? I can wear tight fitting clothes and or diapers with plastic pants without an issue. Before this would be an issue, it would somehow like block from going by what I can only assume as putting pressure on the bladder causing painful "I need to go" without being able to go. It is so easy to end up wetting the bed because of not knowing how much you've already went during the night. Actually, its easy to have a leak and be somewhat suprised because you don't think you did. If I do, and its very rare, get an urge, it is mostly due to not drinking enough fluids. Becoming dehydrated makes the bladder spasms and constantly forcing it to contract, not fun. Drinking coffee will make you go almost instantly. Wow, I've heard about caffeine effecting the bladder but I never experienced it before. I stayed off coffee for a few years because it smells bad when you go. I retried it only about 6 months ago and it is an experience. I can go in any position, walking, going up the stairs, or just standing/laying down. On my side, laying on my back, laying on my front. Taking a shower has become different. The difference in the temperature from inside the shower to outside will cause me to void. I always give myself a few extra seconds before getting out because my bladder will contract voiding. I can not stop the flow, period. I believe it would be a long long process of trying to rebuild and restrengthen not only the muscles but the memory/nerves signals to try to stop, hold, and then go find a bathroom. There has been a handful of times I was trying to stop the flow for some reason (leaking, etc) and nope, doesn't stop. My capacity has extremely gone down in voiding, for at least the past 3 years I have no flooded a diaper in one/two wettings. Even when I think there is a lot coming out. Yes, you can end up peeing on yourself during a change if you're not careful. Bowels have become much more easier and frequent then before. Body is in sync instead of constipation before I started. Penis shrinkage (temp) from being inside a diaper all the time, no time for stretching. It can take a few times to regain the length and strength by edging. Now a premature ejaculator, I few quick rubs sends me off (sensitive). Oozes out more then shoots. Extra plus for the cushion on hard chairs with my boney skinny ass. Extra plus for keeping my intestines from getting cold (IBS issue) that would cause me to mess. The diaper adds good insulation. Still love it, no changes in rethinking or stopping.

Took me about five years to wet in my sleep. I always wet before, during, and after sleep but I was conscious when I did it, even if once I started I could not feel when I ended. Takes a very long, long time to become a bed wetter. I lost day time much quicker than truly at night. I also changed from cloth backed to disposable about half way through, which may have also caused me to take longer. Cloth while more bulky was not very tight across the stomach region (also sags when wet) while the disposable is much tighter around the waist. I guess unless you were a bed wetter when you were younger, I find it challenging to become one without first losing day time incontinence due to being a true bed wetter is usually from a small bladder and creating more urine in your sleep to say practicing wetting at night. You can't change your kidneys output by practicing, you can only drink more fluid and untrain yourself.

I find that wearing all the time and not fooling around with your member will cause it to take longer to achieve an erection. While I don't have too much trouble getting or maintaining an erection, ejaculation is another thing. I use to be able to shoot but now it kind of just runs out. Contracting the prostate and maintain an erection are two different things (well almost). Enlarging the penis is due to blood circulation as well as to nerves compared to the pc muscles which will help keeping the bladder closed and aid in contraction of the prostate. This is why you'll see guides on helping to hold it longer by doing kegel exercises as well as to lasting longer while having sex (premature ejaculation). But for obtaining and maintaining an erection, that would be circulatory issues or nerve damage. I say almost because they are used to help narrow the blood flow to keep the penis enlarged near the base but that is not the only thing used for an erection. Keeping it rigid compared to enlarged would be my comparison. You can have an enlarged yet noodle-y member due to very very weak pc muscles where just a few rubs or strokes causes fluid to pass through (been there). Keeping it rock solid/rigid you need to work the muscles. But again, this is not the same as a flaccid member not becoming erect. Could be a prostate infection, heart condition, nerve damage, low T. Wearing a chastity device for long periods will cause short term issues, this goes away after some time though being out of the device. My member is shorter due and less to erections due to wearing all the time, never allowing enough free time to expand and be let out. However if I did, over a very short period it would (and has) regained its length and strength. The only time I had issues getting and keeping an erection was when I had a prostate infection or used it too many times in one go, lol. I am not a physician. I would seek a medical practitioner if you can't obtain an erection as that may be an indicator of a more serious issue. I have read from other incontinent men who don't use their penis often for sex, it does take longer and or erections may be diminished (like me), but not impossible, just kinda delayed due to non use.

My tips are you must stay the course, never not use the diaper for wetting. Also you'll need to make sure you try wetting in every position, keep a log to remember which tasks are challenging and retry over again. One thing to help with night time is getting a watch or app/reminder on your phone to go off every so often at night to make sure you're not retaining fluid, this somewhat undoes the work done through out the day. Last, and this one can be real challenging, try to abstain from ejaculating. By not using those PC muscles, it will be easier to keep loose down there. If diapers are a sexual fetish, it's going to be really hard to abstain. No edging and no masturbation. Drinking dandelion tea will help going, good to use before bed time as you'll need to go and often through out the night.

Progress is excellent, I am pretty much incontinent at this point. It took about five years to achieve but it would be near impossible to stop and reverse the effects of unpotty training. It has gotten to the point where I have no idea what I need to contract to stop the flow once it starts. I've tried only a handful of times recently and wow, nothing happens. I can to a certain point hold off a bit before I leak but it's minutes compared to where I would be able to hold for hours (if need be). Another thing I noticed is I don't really feel the urge anymore to go, just at some point I get an immediate void. There has only been a handful of times when I would get that feeling and each time the amount output is not anything like I thought it would be. About two years into the training, I would no longer flood. When I first started it was extremely easy to leak with a huge output. The amount now that I expel is drastically smaller now. I do not wake up either anymore without a wet diaper. Only about a year ago can I now keep the diaper very close to my body and or wear something that might be snug and not have an issue with trying to pass urine. I don't know if that is an issue for many, but for the longest time I could not void if my pants were too tight in the belly region, it would like create a seal and keep my bladder closed. Could just be age related but erections are smaller and not frequent at all. I think it's mostly due to a combination of wearing all the time and keeping everything down there relaxed. I do have issues with ejaculation though, it's challenging to figure out what muscles I need to contract for the prostate to contract. I've tried to abstain as much as possible to keep the PC muscles relaxed as often as possible. If I go a few weeks without, contractions will hurt/be sore during ejaculation and fluid will just run out instead of shooting (which I use to be able to do with ease). Might be quicker for others, when I started I could hold for eight hours easy, didn't drink much and used those PC muscles often. So for me, untraining took a long time. While I do still feel urine leaving, small amounts I can not feel. I can be changing and have small leaks and not feel anything, which I find interesting. I find going in any position a lot easier than I thought. I use to remember that I could start going before going up or down stairs but naturally the void would stop until I finished walking. Now, I can feel it coming out while I go up or down stairs, something I recently found out was capable. Really is true, it's a long slow process but you'd be surprised how at one point you thought you could still do or not do X and then give it another try and be like "wow, this is new". I will say being sick and I can be totally incontinent. Not too sure if its meds or loose muscles with a low fever but when I'm under the weather, I need thick diapers because I'm constantly dribbling. Last, still love it and wouldn't change it for nothing.

This also happened to me too, eBay started removing content with the terms abdl, sissy, adult baby around two months ago.

I wanted to say, long story short I had kept this page loaded for about two weeks because I wanted to get around to reading the story. I just found out that the site lost a large amount of information and realized I have this story still loaded on the browser. The original two parts from ABAlex: ### Part 1 ### Alex struggled helplessly in his binds. Stuck in a diaper and dress, gagged with an oversized pacifier, and with a bright red ribbon wrapped around, he could do nothing but wait. He supposed that was what he was a Christmas present for someone. The only question was for whom. It was a question that had haunted him since the day he arrived at the training institute. Like everyone, he knew there was someone paying for him. Like most, he had no idea who they were, when he’d see them, or what they intended to use him for. There were several reasons someone could end up in the institute. A scant few were volunteers- people choosing the submissive lifestyle, often for a kink, or out sheer laziness, giving up freedom to be guaranteed food and shelter rather then work their entire lives and risk homelessness. This, in Alex’s opinion, was a poor trade and a worse excuse for a career. Others seemed to think they eventually be guaranteed a place their anyway, and so volunteered. The advantage there was that they could at least pick the manner of their submissiveness, and have some control over who their eventual master was. Had Alex known that would be necessary for him, he’d have taken that route. He shifted uncomfortably in his binds, his arms getting stiff, and his diaper beginning to chaff his spanked bottom. He definitely would have. Alex, for himself, was one of the many who had been chosen against their will. Some of them had obvious reasons for going. They had committed clear crimes, were put on trial, and plea-bargained out of jail or were sentenced directly. They stood out at first in the first days at the institute. Trying to look tough, with tattoos on their arms and glares on their faces, until they realized this just made them all the more ridiculous. Alex was in a final category- those who had no idea at all why he was brought. He had simply went to bed one night after drinking at a bar, blacked out, and woken up already locked and dressed in the institute, with his form of submissiveness and master chosen for him. Many had similar stories, or were dragged from public places kicking and screaming, or got into cabs that went in completely the wrong directions… There was a long list. They were usually given a explanation. Vague allegations of minor crimes, poor behavior, a likeliness of future crimes or failures, internet search histories, having failed some kind of government test- there were plenty. Alex had a mix of these, with the same accusations of brattiness and immaturity that most who ended up in diapers got. They may be true, he knew, but he tended to believe the rumor that the institute simply needed to sell certain number of submissive to operate and did what was necessary to keep going. The government turned a blind eye and the public kept silent less they be chosen- they were fulfilling a needed service, anyway. For Alex, it was hard to argue. They seemed to know everything about him, and his trove of 'secret' stories about similar kinks was brought up time and time again as a reason. Whether they knew about them when they grabbed him or coincidently found out after searching was beyond him. Alex moaned inwardly thinking of it. The struggled slightly, hearing the tissue paper and his diaper rustle, then stopped. He glanced at the paddle beside him. Tauntingly cute looking, but sharp and painful, he had been given a taste of it earlier and threatened with more if he woke anyone up. He was a Christmas present, and just like any other gift supposedly from Santa Clause, he would not be seen until morning. Waking them up would spoil the surprise, and he had been trained to obey. That training itself had been a nightmare. When he first woke up that day long ago, he had no idea what was happening. He had woken up slowly at first, feeling a slight headach, then bolted up when he noticed he was in a strange room surrounded by bars. “No” he had thought, “it can’t be…” IN reality it was obvious- he had long known about the training program, and that the diapered subs were one of options, but like most, he had never thought it would happen to him. When it did, he did everything in his power to deny it to himself. He had quickly glanced down at himself to see he was dressed in bright pink footed pyjamas and a bulky object he later realized was a diaper. He tried to scream out, only to find his mouth full of something he later realized was a pacifier. He tried to remove it, only to find his hands were wrapped in thick, fingerless mittens, leaving them useless. He looked around himself, and confirmed his suspicions. The bars he had once thought were for a cage were in fact part of a crib, and the room was a giant nursery, decorated cutely, with a changing table, high chair, and toys all clearly intended for him. A pit had begun to form in his stomach. A woman, not much older then Alex, came in beaming. He still remembered the first words she said. “Hello, how’s my little baby doing?” She spoke in a sweet, familiar voice, as if he truly was a baby girl and there was nothing strange at all with him being there. The rest of the day had followed suit. He was offered no explanation and given no chance to ask for one. He was carted helplessly from humiliation to humiliation, unable to get out of the arms, baby harnesses and strollers that held him, and unable to speak with the pacifier in his mouth, only leaving it for feedings. That day he wasn’t even treated as a sub, but simply as a baby. Spankings or other punishments weren’t necessary yet- he was too restrained and bewildered to fight, he was simply there to learn his place. He was fed, talked to in baby gibberish or simply ignored, and changed. THAT was a memory that had stuck with him, not because of the teasing or punishment, but because of the lack there of. “Do you smell something?” one has said calmly. “I think the baby has a stinky butt” the other replied with no sign of surprise. “Check him?” Alex was bent over, his onesie undone. “Yep,” then, in the high pitched joking voice used for infants, “has the baby made a stinky? Does she need to get her butt changed? YES SHE HAS! YES SHE DOES!” The lack of mocking and teasing had made it seem all the worse, as if it was something natural that should be expected. The truth was, as he would learn, it soon would be. As Alex was lain on the floor in a main hallway and changed as the pair in front of him talked on as if nothing was wrong, he had even begun to wonder if he really was a baby, and the last few decades of his life were some bizarre dream. It seemed a better option then being a submissive. The real training had started the next day. Alex shifted again, and tried to pull his arms at least a bit loose. This position was far from comfortable, and his back was getting sore. He wondered what it said about his new masters that he was to be found this way. Did they know how uncomfortable it was? Did they want him to be sore? An answer either yes or no could mean a lot. Of course, the fact that he was chosen as a sissy baby said a lot as it was. There was something of an unspoken hierarchy at the training institute. It depended a lot person to person, but their were some general rules that could be said depended on the harshness, or embarrassment, related to the job. At the top were the merely unstated submissives. They were there to serve, with no real, and as long as they behaved were treated well. After that came the ‘animals,’ either work horses intended to pull their masters around or pet kittens and puppies, they were treated well, if condescendingly. Then came the punishment subs, there to take spankings, be degraded, and tied for their masters pleasure. Underneath them all were the babies. Some could live pretty good lives and be treated well, finding themselves essentially just living to be cuddled and coddled, but that was often not the case. It was hard to feel any sort of pride when all others were baking away from the smell of your diapers. Alex was the lowest from of these. Not just a baby, but a sissy baby and a punishment sub at that. He had become well acquainted with rope and paddles while there, and the diapers and dresses simply added a whole new level of humiliation. Alex pondered slightly. As most had guessed, if that is what his masters wanted, it did not bode well for him. Whoever was paying want him degraded as much ass possible. Most ended up living essentially as their training had done. Some, however, were lucky. They were punished and trained to a low level then brought to their masters as if being rescued, receiving love and affection, and forming a strange form of bond from the knowledge of what they were being kept from. Others got the exact opposite. Even within the categories, the harshness, strictness and length of training varied. Some masters wanted subs with fight left in them that they could spank out over time. Others would switch their subs theme upon arriving, leaving the poor, bewildered submissive confused and having to go through training again. The ones that Alex pitied the most were, ironically, barely even punished at training. Their masters wanted the opposite idea then the rest received. They were praised, given freedoms, and given rewards to build up a sense of pride that the masters could have fun breaking. They were often even given authority over the other submissives, who were told to keep mum about the poor fools fates. Sometimes they’d come back with their masters later, tears streaming down their faces, their pride shattered, their delusions gone as they were laughed at by the ones they had looked down on. Alex himself had been spanked by a few confused submissives only to later see them crawling around In diapers themselves, now bigger bawling babies then anyone, their pride making the fall all the worse. Somehow they never seemed to learn until it was too late. Alex groaned at the binds and his stiff muscles. He was beginning to feel hungry again. How long had he been there? He would have thought it was only one night, but there were no windows, and it felt like a lot longer. He prayed his masters were in the kindest category, hoping for him to see them as some kind of saviors, but he craved being untied whether or not they were. It was more likely that he was meant to be the baby he was dressed as anyway. This could still mean different things, as rumors always came back about what the babies got in the outside world. Some were treated merely as that, infants for their ‘parents’ to take care of, nothing more. Some existed for humiliation, spending long nights tied in messy diapers and over laps getting spanked in public. Some were there to work and please their masters, their clothing adding a form of mocking comedy to otherwise adult tasks. Some lived for pleasure, receiving toys and other benefits, others were deliberately denied it, being brought close to it then returned to whine and moan in their diapers. Some lived to train people to take care of real babies, used for diaper changing demonstrations, some were mascots for small sports teams and organizations or public draws to restaurants and game rooms. Others still were even given to younger people, treated as playthings, live in dolls for the amusement of children. Most did not know what it was going to be until they got there. He shuddered at the thought, and prayed it was one of the better ones. He tried to think of the cruelty of someone who would subject him to it. Could he really blame them though? He had, after all, written all those stories... but those were fiction, not reality... was there a difference? Yet there he was, an adult, diapered, sissified... The training varied from person to person, but for babies there were some general themes. The life in a nursery, the wearing diapers, and being given toys were all common. Most were fed, and most were taught to use their diapers. Some were deliberately made incontinent, being given pills and hypnosis to render them diaper dependent. Alex avoided this, though you never would tell from watching him. A messy diaper around his waist was a common theme in his life. Like all babies, he slept in a crib, and was taken care of like a baby in his ‘home.’ This home was the residence while he stayed in the institute. As usual, he was the only baby there. The other themes were represented similarly, there were pets, work animals, slaves, sissies, and other kinds of submissives, but rarely more than one or two of each at a time. There were also groups of non submissives who went in and out of living there like a hostel, and more still that came by and paid to gawk and laugh. They usually paid to see due to their own sadistic kinks or schadenfreude, and the fact that they beleived the people there had earned their punishment made them all the more vicious in their laughing and teasing. This was for a serious, if subtle reason. If the submissive felt rare, and they were constantly faced with a new group of people, it kept the helplessness and embarrassment of their situation fresh. As had been explained to Alex, the reason a sissy male was embarrassed to be in a dress was because men didn’t wear dresses. If Alex had spent his life surrounded by other sissy babies, eventually it wouldn’t seem to be strange at all. From the ‘homes,’ the submissive would be taken daily to training, this time along with the similarly dressed brethren. As a sissy baby, Alex would join a long and often smelly line of grown adults in diapers, feeling absolutely ridiculous as they were paraded, all holding a rope like children, toward class. Once there, they were trained as a group, with variations for their individual master’s desires. They would be given kindergarten like classes on basic subjects to reduce them and bring their thinking to that of a babies. Sometimes they’d deliberately be given fake information, being forced to learn math wrong or memorize a made up alphabet. They’d then be tested on it, and have their place hammered home when they failed tests seemingly made for children. From there it was more kink related training. They’d be taught to be submissive, with a long list of humiliating and painful punishments, from spankings and being tied up, to more childish such as time outs and mouth soaping’s. They were trained to behave as their masters wanted, forced to crawl around, play with children’s toys, and mess their diapers. They were even trained to act up from time to time, practicing throwing tantrums or acting as brats. Some were slowly rendered incontinent, some were given potty training which was deliberately made impossible, then told they were in diapers because they failed, and others were simply ignored until they messed themselves, and at times kept in them until they were used to the feeling. Whatever a master wanted, he could get, and the trainers bet their careers on making it happen. Alex wasn't given a chance. There was no effort to untrain or to pretend to train. This, he figured, meant whoever he was going to meet in the morning wanted someone who was able to control their functions, but still used to diapers. Did that mean they intended to some kind of joke potty training routine? Was it meant to be successful, with him finally getting out of the childish undergarments, or not? Would they go the opposite route, subjecting him to hypnosis and bizarre diets? He doubted that one, if they wanted that they could have done it already. There was a chance they'd keep him in diapers but let him use the toilet, or present themselves as the saviors of the degradation he had suffered... It was possible, and he hoped for it, but he had learned not to hope for too much. Something told him that wasn't the case. The most likely was that they'd keep him in some variation of what he had before- continent, but with no way to tell that based on what he wore (or, he thought blushing, he smelled like), giving them control over when it happened and whether or not he'd be punished... he shuddered. What else could tell him what to expect? So this one is a bit different then my others. I'm sort of experimenting with a different structure. Rather then having a normal narrative or much dialogue, it is a series of settings, with the plot hopefully coming through. That is because it is supposed to be the Alex (myself) remembering what happened to him as he lies in bondage. I figured memories tend to be more like vague snapshots rather then having a lot of details, so I tried to write it like that. If it didn't work, it is basically the story of Alex's will being broken as he waits for his captors. BTW, this goes with this picture: http://swabbs.deviantart.com/art/The-Gift-That-Keeps-On-Giving-Dress-Clean-652281997 by Swabbs, with his permission. Le me know if there is an issue with me posting that there, I will remove it. ### Part 2 ### Another aspect of the training was physical exercise. Prior to arriving, Alex had trained and competed in mixed martial arts, leaving him in decent shape. However, he's be a fool to think that would have continued. There were two things that changed it from the exercise he expected. The first was what was considered 'in shape.' Like all other parts, this varied from person to person. The emphasis was on looking the way the master's wanted, not on health and especially not on function. If anything, strength was discouraged. They used specific training, diet, and various skin care to achieve this. For some, like the 'pack animals,' as he called them, this could still mean being bulky, and strong enough to do whatever job their masters wanted. For the sissies, this usually meant the opposite, a slight, effeminate build. For Alex, it was a combination of this, along a youthful look gained with longish hair and soft skin. The most important aspect of the exercise, however, was the feelings attached. It was important that, despite exercising, no sissy should ever feel powerful. Improving fitness normally had the side effect of building confidence and pride. For the master's, this could be disastrous. Therefore, every exercise was made to remind the submissive of their place. Exercise by no means meant they were allowed out of the whatever garb their state required, and usually meant goofy combinations of work out clothes and fetish suits. They were constantly surrounded by the trainers, each holding switches to 'encourage' them, and speaking in condescending tones. No matter how much weight you lifted, it was hard to feel proud when your reward was being called a 'good baby', and punishment for stopping was being publicly spanked. The exercises themselves were made along the same lines, designed to make the sub look like whatever their 'theme' was. Like their 'homes,' this entire thing was open to the public, and the resulting ridiculous display was one of the more popular exhibits, after only the punishment room. Alex dreaded these times. He'd be brought in, crawling. Exercise didn't excuse him from diapers, and they were usually made to be extra thick, making any exercise occur in an awkward waddle. He'd meet up with the other 'babies,' and begin with a run. As the trainers explained, they needed to make up for all the time spent crawling or being pushed in strollers. He'd be attached by a leash to a baby harness and lead around by a trainer in a cart, having to keep going or be pulled over, ready to suffer whatever punishment the trainers gave him. He'd then be brought back in the gym. Here, it varied more. The 'pack animals' would carry carts of weights while someone lead them with reigns, the 'dogs' would play fetch, and the sissies had a mixture of ballet and pole dancing. Alex was occasionally put in the ballet classes, stumbling and kicking high awkwardly with the thick padding, but usually he was with the babies. They'd begin lying on the ground, squirming awkwardly in ways that provided core exercise, but to anyone else simply looked like infantile wiggling. They then would be given 'toys.' To the laughter of the onlookers, he'd swat at or kick colorful objects hanging over him, shake rattles, play with blocks. What they didn't know was that each toy was weighted. This made everything he did seem laughably awkward and week while straining him. The entire session normally ended with a game, again for the amusement of the paying crowed. The favorite was called 'pat tag.' The babies would be gathered on hands and legs on mats. They would then crawl around, the object being for whoever was 'it' to pat the others on the diaper. By this point, a combination of diet, the motion of exercise, and sometimes the deliberate actions of the trainers resulted in plenty of filled diaper, making the experience all the worse for the babies and better for the onlookers. The tagger would often cringe as they got closer to the back of their target, who themselves would cringe after being padded. Both would earn chuckles. The rules could change from time to time, but generally it was the same. Sometimes there would be just one or two people who were it, sometimes there would be two teams, each one trying to tag the others. Either way, winners and losers were determined, and the losers would be punished while the winners would be given 'rewards', such as being fed bottles by the audience or allowed to play with toys. Alex hated this all. It was a long way to fall from practicing kickboxing and talking about books to playing with rattles and begging for diaper changes. The audience played another, very important role. For a price, they were allowed to 'rent,' the submissives. They could take them off the Institute, normally for a day, and essentially do whatever they wanted as long as they returned them in the same condition. Alex was subject to this more then a few times. He'd normally end up being pushed around town in a stroller, play various games or have them played with him, and generally be shown off. Most of the people who did it wanted to be seen doing it, and would invite friends, or even have parties where he was essentially the entertainment. They'd all crowed around him, cooing and seeing if they could make him blush. This, to the trainers, served a few purposes aside from making more money. It gave the subs public exposure, letting them know they had been seen by more and more people. It taught them that they were submissive to anyone, not just their trainers, and they should obey anyone put over them. It also meant that anyone nearby would recognize them for what they were, making escape all but impossible. Overall, it added to their humiliation and sense of helplessness, and left them wanting to get back to the Institute, a place they otherwise hated. The sound of their laughter still dug into his dignity. He hated them all for their laughter. He didn't deserve it, he had told himself. But he was a sub, and would get it. Could he blame them for doing something he'd do in the same place? Would he have? Alex glanced around the room for a clock. It was very dark, and he had no idea what time it was. He was exhausted, by the position made it difficult to sleep. He had been fed just before being delivered, and he hoped whatever he had been given was normal. Was this part of the plan? Was he meant to be found, exhausted, disoriented, with no idea what time it was or when the light would finally be turned on? His last few days were the worse. He had guessed that something was coming, probably being delivered to his owners, but it was never stated. Instead, he was kept up late and barely allowed sleep, leaving him exhausted. He was spanked and punished constantly, bringing him to tears again and again. He was denied diaper changes for hours at a time, leaving him with a horrible rash. Then, when it finally came time, he was blindfolded and carted. He was finally given a change, but only to be spanked again, re diapered, and tied up. He was dressed and fed a supper of mush and water from a bottle, then tied and gagged. The blindfold was removed, and he was made to look at himself in a mirror p. He cringed and pouted. It was a pathetic sight, even to him. The first dream of being delivered in some better condition then he had been was gone. He was clearly meant to be a sissy baby, dressed in a Christmas elf like dress and thick diapers. THey had even put a bow in his hair, as if the rest wasn't enough. He was clearly exhausted, and desperate. He was then delivered underneath a Christmas tree with a note, and given no explanation. Part of him still hoped that this was a rouse, that his masters would take mercy on him. A glance around reminded him of the pile of diapers and cute by cruel looking paddle beside him. He doubted he'd be allowed to regain his adult hood, and the pink prints on the diapers removed any thoughts of at least keeping his masculinity. Glancing around futher showed another wrapped box with a note that read "from Santa, to Baby Alex." He dreaded to think what was inside. So this is how they meant to find him. Exhausted, spanked and sore, tied and uncomfortable, a man in a diaper and dress. He fought back the tears and tried to retain what dignity he had. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It did not bode well. ... Alex was awake again. This was worse. This was so, so much worse. His stomach had started to grumble just as he was about to fall asleep. It came on quickly, clearly the result of something he had been fed, and clearly the intention of his masters. That was not a good sign. It had only been moments until he had filled his diapers to the brim, a combination of long months of training and his feeding rendering him helpless. He now squirmed, even more uncomfortable and humiliated then before. The smell was disgusting, something he had never gotten used to. Worse, the rash and spank marks were inflamed anew, and it took everything he had to keep from screaming. How long ago had that been? He didn't know. It felt like hours, even days, and it was still just as dark. He had been fed just before arriving, but felt hungry again, and his stomach rumbled. He no longer cared what his masters wanted. He knew it wasn't going to be good. No one put someone through all this to be kind, and he was lying to himself otherwise. However, he realized he it didn't matter to him anymore. It didn't matter if they wanted to baby him, to sissyfy him, to display him, to humiliate him, to make him work, to punish him... He just wanted out of the ropes. He'd do any and all of it for a diaper change. That finally sunk into him, after everything, the only thing he wanted was to be changed. He'd give up all shreds of dignity without a second thought for it. He didn't care about being... pretending to be... a grown man anymore. He wanted his masters... his mommy? daddy? Dominatrix? Owner? Whatever they wanted, he'd be. Finally, he settled down into the box and stooped fighting the ropes. Instead, he reacted in the way he'd been trained to, the way that had hammered into him for months, and the way he knew his masters would want. He began to cry. His eyes teared and he moaned, calling for his masters to take care of him. He cried like the baby he knew he now was.

Agreed, but it does take some time (well for me anyway) to completely start putting it behind you. I know many who start this journey or test the waters find at some point a waning in desire to wear, but I have never had that issue yet. I'm open for questions too if anyone has any.