2011

Привет на всички! Пускам този пост с надеждата, че ще достигне до правилните хора. На кратко, момче на 22 години съм, и имам интерес към носенето на памперси откакто се помня. Първоначално се чувствах отвратително че ме привличат такива неща, но с времето осъзнах че това не е непременно нещо лошо, защото нито ми вреди, нито вреди на околните, и ме кара да се чувствам добре. Странно ли е? Странно е, но поне не съм единствен. И ти не си единствен! Има много като нас по света. За това призовавам всеки българин, който попадне на този пост, да остави един коментар. Даже и да не търсите приятели с такива интереси, нищо не пречи да покажете присъствие. Може би това ще помогне на по-притеснителните да се включат в дискусията. А може би съм единственият леко сбъркан в цялата държава😂 (шегувам се, и преди съм комуникирал със сънародници с подобни интереси). Стискам палци, дано някой намери този дълъг пост!   Hello everyone! I'm making this post in the hope that it reaches the right people. In short, I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I've been interested in wearing diapers for as long as I can remember. Initially, I felt terrible about being attracted to such things, but over time I realized that it's not necessarily a bad thing because it doesn't harm me, nor does it harm those around me, and it makes me feel good. Is it weird? It's weird, but at least I'm not the only one. And you aren't the only one either! There are many like us around the world. That's why I urge any Bulgarian who comes across this post to leave a comment. Even if you're not looking for friends with these interests, there's no harm in just showing your presence. Maybe it will help the more shy people join the discussion. Or maybe I'm the only slightly messed up person in the whole country 😂 (just kidding, I've communicated with compatriots with similar interests before). Fingers crossed, I hope someone finds this long post!

I want to acknowlege and thank you for your thoughtful response, @Slomo. When it comes to Botox injections, I want to distinguish between Botox in the bladder wall (BBW), Botox in the external urinary sphincter (BEUS), and Botox in the bladder neck (BBN). I have had both BBW and BBN, and am scheduled to get BEUS and BBN. My experience with BBW was as follows, as described elsewhere: Within two weeks of the injection of 200 units of Botox, I became completely unable to void, and had to rely on ISC (intermittent self-catheterization) or indwelling catheters for voiding. My bladder was essentially paralyzed. But it was not numbed: the BBW did not achieve to calming of my bladder's urges. Whenever my fill exceeded 250 ml or so, my urgency spiked. This was unpleasant because I had to find a place to ISC soon after the urgency began. Hence I sometimes relied on indwelling catheters, for example during long flights or important meetings. That way, I could store much more urine both inside and outside myself before I had to find a bathroom. The full effect of the Botox lasted approximately 3 months and fully subsided after approximately 4 months, but these timelines are subjective, of course. I had BBN several years ago and had not noticed any difference in my ability to void or retain urine. What I have not yet tried is BEUS. My urologist recommends it as a diagnostic step before deciding on surgery. This is what I have scheduled in early August. I hope this clarifies.

Awesome, glad this story is back!

I really enjoy wearing my Baby-Pants trainers (I have 2 of the heavy ones and one light), both in place of regular underwear so I'm a "stealth" toddler, and wetting them. This company was difficult to deal with and I see they appear to be gone. Does anyone know of a reliable source of similar-quality trainers? I like my printed potty-pants, but they never seemed to be able to keep solid colors in stock. 

CHAPTER 4: THE AUTUMN PARTY The week had flown by. Aino worked from morning until night on the algorithm, with only bathroom breaks giving her pale face a momentary respite from the screen. She had slept poorly, eaten poorly, and lived mainly on coffee and data. But the end result was worth all the suffering. Her algorithm was ready. And it worked—very well. The algorithm had only been in use for a couple of days, but already it was clear that it was a significant improvement over the previous version. Conversions were rising and advertising costs were falling. The difference wasn't huge, but it was undeniable. Aino had won. Yet the victory felt strangely muted. Aino didn't feel like jumping or screaming with joy. Elisa never congratulated her. The woman had only nodded thoughtfully when the results were presented and said "Good" in a distant, controlled voice. Then she had simply moved on to the next item. Aino didn't understand this at all. If she herself had lost, she would have wanted to know why. She would have wanted to learn. But Elisa acted as if the whole competition had never happened. There was a steady, yet somehow expectant atmosphere at the office. Elisa hadn't told anyone that she had seen Aino with a pacifier in her mouth. Still, the matter had been nagging at her—the image of a little girl sucking a pacifier while producing code kept returning to her mind from time to time. Elisa had searched for information on the subject with random Google searches, come across the words "little" and "age play," but despite this, she couldn't decide how to approach the matter. At the very least, it had made her curious. Aino, of course, couldn't know what Elisa had seen. She lived under the impression that her sweet secret was still safe. The young woman worked a shorter day than usual on Friday, stuffing her laptop into her bag just before three. Her thoughts were already wandering to the evening ahead, when the company's traditional autumn party would be held. Just the thought made her uneasy. "I promise, there'll be good food," Mikko had assured her. "And they won't stare if you don't want to talk. I'll be by your side all evening. Unless I find some cute chick, then you're on your own." Aino had hesitated for a long time. The autumn party meant people, noise, and compulsory socializing. But Mikko had managed to talk her around during the week—the man's innocent enthusiasm was contagious. Aino also knew she couldn't hide forever. Sometimes she just had to try. So Aino arrived at the party in her sister's borrowed car, which she parked along a quiet road a couple of hundred meters from the venue. She had dressed in a knee-length black dress, dark tights, and of course, a diaper. It felt familiar and safe under the dress's hem, reminding her that even if everything went wrong, at least she wouldn't wet herself in front of others. The venue was on the shore of a small lake, on the company's high-quality villa property. The evening was cool and clear, the stars reflected from the calm water surface, surrounded by dark pine forests. Candles and lanterns burned in the yard, and smoke was already curling from the villa's chimney. Aino stepped inside and immediately felt the noise and light assaulting her senses painfully. People, lots of people. Chatter, laughter, the clinking of glasses. But Mikko immediately came to her side and quickly helped Aino calm down. "See? Not so bad," Mikko said, glancing toward the buffet table and licking his lips. "I'll get us some food. You can sit over there in the corner, so you can see everyone. Then you can decide for yourself who you want to talk to." Aino sat down in the corner, relieved, just as Mikko had suggested. She looked around. People were laughing, chatting, and drinking, some grooving to the music. The room felt like another world, one she didn't belong to. But then she saw Elisa. Elisa stood by the buffet table, a glass of champagne in her hand. She was wearing a deep red dress that made her skin appear almost glowing. Her dark hair was stylishly down, clearly curled with care. Elisa looked happy and confident, laughing at something the suited man beside her had just said. Aino stared at her. Elisa looked different now, less cold. At that moment, Elisa turned and saw Aino. Their eyes met, and Elisa smiled. It wasn't a sharp or calculating smile—it was warm, unusually warm. She raised her glass in greeting and began walking calmly toward Aino. "You came," Elisa stated, a cheerful tone in her voice. "I didn't think you would." "I wasn't going to," Aino replied, a slight blush on her cheeks. "Mikko forced me." Elisa laughed, her laughter sounding more genuine than ever before. "Glad you came. This is going to be a good evening." Elisa said and sat down next to Aino, far too close. Aino caught the scent of her floral perfume—the same one she had worn on Aino's first day at work. "I'm in a good mood." "Clearly." "You know," Elisa continued, leaning closer. "Something's happening tonight. I'm being appointed project manager for the Baltic project. It's a big deal for my career." Her eyes sparkled, and Aino saw something she hadn't noticed before. Vulnerability. Excitement. Hope. "Congratulations," Aino replied. It felt awkward, but she couldn't think of anything else. "Thank you," Elisa said. "You're a good person, Aino. I appreciate your work." Aino didn't know what to say. This was such a different Elisa. "You can come eat with me," Elisa continued. "I can introduce you to the board. I mean, if you want." Aino hesitated, but eventually nodded with a faint smile. The evening turned out surprisingly well. Elisa and Mikko kept Aino company and introduced the newcomer to colleagues she wouldn't normally interact with at the office. Aino managed to chat relatively naturally with people, even though she had to work hard to maintain conversations. She didn't drink alcohol, but it didn't seem to bother anyone. People were relaxed; Mikko disappeared at some point onto the dance floor, where people were dancing in a chaotic mix of styles. Aino sat at a table and looked around. Elisa also took a spin on the dance floor, laughing freely and tossing her hair. She looked happy. Tonight she'll be appointed, Aino thought. She deserves it. Just before midnight, Juhani called everyone into the main hall. He had consumed a few beers and a couple of glasses of wine, but wasn't yet visibly drunk. He clinked his glass a couple of times and began his speech, true to form, very loudly. "Distinguished guests... I want to thank you all equally... for three fine quarters..." The crowd gradually quieted down. Juhani stood at the head of the table, shirt collar open, sleeves rolled up, hair disheveled. He leaned on the table with his hands and let his gaze sweep across the room. Starting the speech was difficult for him, but he quickly got into his stride. "We have appointments today," Juhani continued with a broad smile. "The Baltic project has finally received funding. The big boys have spoken, and now we're going to set up something that's never been seen before. A big project naturally needs a big leader. Out there on the sauna benches, we discussed with the board that this requires a rock-solid professional—this is, if anything, real men's work. So... without further ado... the Head of Technology, Kari, will become the project manager for the Baltic project. He, if anyone, is the right man for the job." The room began to applaud, a couple of low "Good one, Kari" shouts mixing with the ringing applause. Kari stood up and accepted the congratulations with a rather practiced air. Elisa sat in disbelief. Her face was pale, her lips unnaturally thin. Aino could clearly see how Elisa's smile froze, how her eyes lost their shine, and her whole body tensed up like a violin string. Juhani continued his speech, but Aino no longer heard the man's words. She just looked at Elisa. The woman who had been so excited about the appointment, which she truly had deserved. Aino saw how Elisa bit her lip, took her glass, and drained it in one go. Then she stood up and walked away without a word, without looking at anyone. Aino also stood up. She didn't know why. Something just made her follow Elisa out into the dark autumn night. Outside it was cold. The autumn air bit cruelly at bare arms, and breath turned to vapor. Aino nervously descended the villa's wooden stairs and spotted Elisa's figure on the front lawn, by the lake shore. Aino hesitated for a moment, but eventually started walking across the grass toward her. "Elisa?" Elisa didn't turn. She stood still, arms crossed, her gaze boring holes into the lake's calm surface. "I don't want to talk," Elisa replied quietly. Her voice was strained, but not angry. Tired. "Okay," Aino said and stopped a few meters away. "I can just be quiet." Elisa laughed bitterly. "You're good at that." For a while, it was quiet. From somewhere came an indistinct splash of water—perhaps there was another cabin further away, where some daredevil had jumped off the pier into the cool water. "You know..." Elisa finally began. "I've been doing this for years. I've grown this company, built its brand, brought in huge numbers of clients. And still, whenever it comes to leadership positions, they always choose some Kari. Always." Elisa turned to look at Aino. There was pain in her eyes that Aino had never seen before. "Because I'm a woman. That's the only reason. Not my skills, not my experience, not my results." Aino didn't know what to say. She looked at Elisa and saw her vulnerability for the first time. "I'm sorry," Aino finally said. It sounded too small. "Don't be," Elisa replied. "You're still young. You haven't yet realized how this world works. But you will—and you'll be disappointed." She turned back toward the lake, picked up a fairly flat stone from the ground, and tried to skip it. The stone, however, plopped straight through the surface and disappeared into the lake's muddy bottom. "Shall we go to the sauna?" Elisa suddenly asked. "I can't be here anymore." Aino felt the familiar panic in her stomach. She would have liked to go to the sauna with Elisa, but removing her diaper in the shared changing area would be practically impossible. "I don't... I'm not sure," Aino replied vaguely, rubbing her cold fingers together. "I don't really like saunas. Too hot." Elisa shrugged and replied casually: "I understand. I'm going anyway. I need a moment alone." As soon as she finished speaking, Elisa turned toward the villa. Aino followed for some reason, even though she knew the opportunity to go to the sauna was already lost for now. Returning to the main hall, Aino just managed to see Elisa grab a full bottle of gin and uncork it as she walked. Then the woman in the red dress disappeared through the sauna door. Aino considered going home, but her instincts told her to stay. She put her earbuds in and took a walk on the nearby gravel roads, which ultimately stretched into an hour-long walk. Returning to the party felt difficult after this; as soon as she stepped inside, Aino noticed that people seemed to have shifted to a different frequency. It was already late enough that the alcohol consumed during the evening was beginning to show more in the partygoers' behavior. Mikko had found company—he was dancing slow dances with an intern clearly younger than himself. Mikko looked happy, and Aino was happy for him. This would be easy to tease him about at work on Monday. Aino got herself a glass of water and looked for a sufficiently peaceful spot. The music on the dance floor was too loud and forced the sensory-sensitive woman out of the main hall. Aino wandered around the sprawling villa and eventually ended up at the door of an old-fashioned cabinet room. She stopped at the threshold and cautiously peeked inside. The room had a round wooden table, a couple of leather armchairs, and a tall bookshelf whose old leather-bound books were probably just decoration. Sitting alone at the table was Elisa. After the sauna, she had changed into light gray cotton trousers and a white shirt. Her wet hair rested on her shoulders, and her makeup no longer hid the redness around her eyes. Her phone was in one hand; with the other, she was pouring gin into her glass. The bottle was already more than half empty. Aino hesitated for a moment. She was already turning away when heavy footsteps approached from the corridor. "Mathematician! What are you, a bouncer now?" Juhani's voice echoed in the hallway before the man himself appeared. He was staggering slightly, but not badly yet. The smell of alcohol wafted around him. Before Aino could dodge, Juhani slapped her familiarly on the lower back. Aino flinched. The touch was unpleasant, but she found herself thinking almost with relief that this time the drunken CEO had at least hit her back instead of somewhere even more personal. Elisa looked up from her phone. "Aino! Come here." There was an exceptionally cheerful tone in her voice, but her words were slightly slurred. The gin was already showing in her speech. "Yeah... hand the boss a chair," Juhani puffed, gesturing clumsily toward the table. Aino could no longer retreat. Awkwardly, she helped the CEO to the table and sat down at a reasonable distance from both Juhani and Elisa. She tried to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. "Mathematician! Our little genius! You beat Elisa!" Juhani praised Aino and took a long swig straight from the gin bottle. "Don't start," Elisa replied sharply. "What?" Juhani laughed hoarsely. "It's true! You've been strutting around here for years like you own the whole company, and you can't even beat some autistic—" "Juhani!" Aino interrupted firmly. Her voice was louder than she had intended. "I've given my everything to this company for years. How dare you choose Kari for my position just because he's a man?" Elisa asked slowly, her voice loaded with immense emotion. "You've designed ads," Juhani snorted coldly back. He moved his chair surprisingly nimbly next to Aino and put his arm familiarly around the young woman's shoulders. "There's potential here. More than you've ever had. This one knows her stuff. She could become something. But you—you're just a bitter old hag who thinks she's irreplaceable." Elisa stood up so quickly that her chair crashed loudly to the floor. The woman's reddened face was contorted with rage and pain. "Shut your mouth," Elisa hissed. "You don't know anything about me. You don't know what I'm capable of. And you don't know everything about your perfect little girl either." "Oh, don't I?" Juhani grinned. "What don't I know?" Elisa stared at the man without saying a word. Then her gaze shifted to Aino, who immediately saw how something ignited in Elisa's eyes. Something bad. "You know..." Elisa began, but her voice broke mid-sentence. Elisa blinked, swayed slightly, and tried to steady herself against the edge of the table. Her glass tipped over, the clear liquid spreading across the table and beginning to drip slowly onto the floor. "Oh..." Elisa whispered in confusion. Then her knees gave way. Aino had just managed to stand up when Elisa crashed heavily to the floor right in front of her. Elisa gasped for air and didn't immediately realize how moisture and warmth were spreading between her legs. By the time she finally understood what was happening, it was too late. Elisa couldn't stop the flow of pee; she watched in horror as a wet patch on her cotton trousers grew larger and larger. A large puddle formed on the floor, in the middle of which Elisa sat helplessly. Redness spread across her cheeks, and the situation certainly didn't improve when Elisa raised her gaze and saw Aino staring at her intently.