2011

Hey look: It's Chapter 3!  I think I might like this story. ---- Lydia hugged her pillow tightly as she slowly stirred from sleeping. A curl of hair had snuck into her mouth at night, noticing its chewy texture, she carefully plucked it out before burrowing back into the fluffy headrest. The old hag must’ve changed sheets recently…dope The young witch’s thoughts lingered in semiconsciousness while sighing heavily into the divine pillow. It’d frankly be a crime against witchdom to even think about starting the day, and so, she turned around in bed, lazying about contentedly. She felt incredible, and not even her crinkling pajamas disturbed her rest. Hmm? She shifted again, slightly more awake now. *Crinkle crinkle* ….That’s not the sound pajamases make…and for the record, I don’t remember putting any on last night. Bleary-eyed, Lydia shifted around, taking in her surroundings. …Why are there bars around my bed? There was simply no way she’d been thrown in jail, right? Her largest offence—to her knowledge—was the occasional brash attitude and a tendency for speaking her mind, neither of which had been outlawed as of yet, as far as Lydia was concerned.  Wait…this isn’t my room. *Crinkle* And where is that infernal sound coming from?! She groaned as she rose from her pillows, her eyes adjusting to the dim lights. Oh, right…I’m in a large nursery, my pajamas is actually a onesie, and the crinkling is most likely coming from this diaper around my waist. Okay, makes perfect sense to me. Back to slee—! ”What the fudge!” she yelled, throwing the sheets to the side, revealing a big, puffy diaper around her butt. It was as dangerously comfortable as she remembered.  Serissa’s Seven Sins! What happened yesterday? Lydia’s thoughts jumbled around, trying to remember. She did not have to wait long for the answer to present itself however. ”Oh, is my little apprentice awake? Mommy’s coming~,” a melodic voice let out from beyond the room. Oh no… The All-Mother or just ’Mommy’ as she wanted to be called, strode effortlessly into the room, a wide smile plastered on her face.  No, no, no… Apparently, the giantess had foregone yesterday’s luscious, white robes and instead sported a more homely black knitted sweater and comfy sweatpants. Her hair was tied into a neat ponytail, and her otherwise piercing eyes veiled behind a pair of round glasses.  But while she appeared modestly, she was still the most gorgeous woman Lydia had ever laid eyes on.   ”Goodmorning, Ly-Ly!” she cheered, looking over the crib, ”did you sleep well, baby?” Lydia’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. It was clear that yesterday’s shenanigans were still on the table. ”No,” she lied, unconvincingly. In fact, she wanted to go back to sleep immediately, maybe then she could actually try to wake up from the nightmare staring her in the face.  Lydia shifted back, defiantly throwing the sheets back over her, but the giantess just giggled in reply. ”That good, huh?” the woman smiled, and reached into the crib, grabbing the cocooned Lydia. “But…Mommy wants to get started on breakfast, so no more sleepytime for now, missy!” ”No! Don’t touch me!” Lydia clung to the bars in vain, but they were easily separated. The All-Mother unwrapped Lydia, ignoring her pleas.  “Peekaboo!” she said, meeting Lydia’s eyes. The young witch squinted, bracing for the glamour that was soon to hit her, turning her mushy and compliant, but it never came. Odd…, she thought as she carefully opened her eyes again, getting a wide smile in return. “And a hello to you too!” the All-Mother cooed. “Now, we will have time to play later, babygirl, but first…” She patted Lydia around the back, kneading the diaper’s fluffiness against her bum. The young witch had to contain an embarrassed squeal, as she turned red in the face once more.  Is she… is she giving me a diaper check!? The giantess finished by putting two fingers under the waistband, pulling back. “Okay! All clean for now, cutiepie.” “No…Really? Who could have guessed?” Lydia snipped. She swore on the inside, trying in vain to weave a proper spell now that she had recovered, but the mana simply slipped between her fingers like melted butter.  Shit, shit shit! Why isn’t it working! ”Aww, no need to be crabby, sweetie. Mommy understand that your diaper feels a little clammy, but you’re not wet or messy at the moment. Let’s not be wasteful, okay?” It was enough to make Lydia shudder that she wasn’t getting out of the diapers any time soon, but to actually be expected to use them… How can she say something so insane while being so genuinely sweet about it! ”For the record, they are not my diapers,” she protested. “I haven’t needed one since I was two, maybe three, tops! And I’m not about to start now!” ”Whatever you say, babygirl. Let’s get some num nums in your tum tum, hmm?” she responded, completely ignoring the comment, carrying Lydia out to the kitchen. Lydia dragged her hands across her face. Cyric be damned, kill me… She struggled only momentarily however, before realizing that escape was impossible against the giant’s unholy strength. It was definitely not because being held by the All-Mother was extremely calming and cozy, and Lydia would fight anyone trying to tell her differently. Still…her glamours aren’t as strong today, since I haven’t collapsed into a mushy pile yet. I wonder if she’s limiting herself in some way.  Her analytical mind was already going over the different reasons for the aura of splendor that surrounded the All-Mother. It was, perhaps, unlike any magic she’d encountered so far, feeling more akin to the charms employed by feykind. Lydia snorted at the prospect of the All-Mother being a giant faerie of some sort. Still that could explain the longevity, she supposed. But what kind of giant is so well versed in magic? Giantkin were mostly soldiers, armorers or construction workers, making the All-Mother a kind of anomaly in that way. Lydia didn’t get further in her internal investigation, as she was plopped down into what seemed to be an enormous high chair. She looked down. Well…that certainly wasn’t there yesterday… “Alright, Ly-Ly. You hang tight while Mommy finishes making your breakfast, okay?” Yeah, fat chance… When the All-Mother turned around to mind the stove, Lydia tried to make a break for it, struggling against the confines of her proverbial prison. But it soon proved clear, the high-chair had her beat. “Fudging heck..” Lydia mimed, slumping in defeat. Instead, she observed the All-Mother mixing together whatever breakfast she had planned for her. The pleasant aroma of pancakes and bacon soon hit Lydia’s nose, causing her mouth to water unconsciously while her stomach made unflattering noises. Damn, that actually smells really good. Usually, her diet was comprised of whatever bread, fruits or snacks she could raid from her old mentor’s cupboard or the occasional delivery of junk food. Neither of them was big on cooking, seeing it as a waste of time.  Back at her parents’ estate, cooking was done by members of staff and, even then it had been focused on efficiency and nutrients, rather than how good it tasted. And perhaps that’s why Lydia was, on some level, looking forward to a home-cooked meal for once, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud. Dang, she’s doing it all by hand too. Figured she’d just wave her hand and let it make itself. Guess she just likes doing things the old-fashioned way. Soon, the All-Mother had served up a plate with a large stack of neatly cut, fluffy pancakes topped with bacon, and absolutely dripping in maple syrup.  Lydia looked around for any cutlery, her babyish predicament forgotten, but finding none. She looked quizzically at the giantess.  “Uhm, could a girl get a fork?” she asked, devoid of any etiquette pretense. The All-Mother had made it very clear that she cared nothing for it either way. “Just use your hands, silly,” the woman replied, as if the answer was most obvious. Lydia deadpanned, but conceded before she could start arguing, as her stomach groaned in displeasure once more. I’m just going to regain my strength. I need to eat if I want to get out of here…she repeated the mantra over and over in her head. Tearing off a piece of perfected syrupy pancake and ready to chow down, she was interrupted by the familiar sound of a camera. Looking up, the All-Mother’s face was buried in a Starsung. And what’s more, it was of the latest model. What. The. Fuck…  “Hey!” “Hmm?” “Stop that!” “...Why?” the giantess perked a smile behind the phone. “It’s embarrassing!” Lydia snapped. “Oh, Ly-Ly,” she smiled. “Mommy takes pictures of all of her babies. It’s not a big deal.” “Well it is to me,” Lydia said, with a scrunched up look. “Could you not?” The giantess sighed, phone vanishing in her hand without as much as an incantation, much to Lydia’s surprise. Dimensional Storage? “Fine, fine,” ‘Mommy’ said, actually relenting. “It’s not like I was going to post it on Hextagram or anything. Why is that almost all of my babies get so embarrassed by their pictures being taken…” The mention of Hextagram confused Lydia slightly, seeing as she hadn’t been able to connect to the leylines with her own sCryphone before, but also at the prospect of the All-Mother being so familiar with modern magitech. “Thank you,” Lydia said. “But!” the All-Mother snatched the piece of pancake from Lydia’s hand, causing a slight, unwilling whine to escape her. “In exchange, Mommy’s going to help you eat your num-nums.” “Of course you will,” Lydia snarked, but before she could react, the giantess had sprung into action. “Heeeere comes the broom~Whoosh!” The syrupy bit of pancake hit Lydia’s tongue, exploding in a multitude of sweet flavours, almost causing her eyes to roll back in her head. She ate greedily and before she knew it, had already opened her mouth to accept another piece. “Mmm!” Lydia voiced loudly. “Oh, someone loves their num-nums!” The young witch had no retort. Simply keeping herself from fainting from sensory overload took all her concentration as she devoured the delectable meal. The bacon was wonderful as well, salty and crispy in just the right way to counteract the sweetness of the pancakes. In a matter of minutes, she had finished the large stack and slumped happily against the backrest of the high-chair, feeling full and giddy. “Good job, baby,” the All-Mother cheered. “I’ll get you a drink to wash all that goodness down with.” So good, Lydia thought in her daze. That was not a normal meal at all. She must’ve done something to it. In fact… She was slowly coming to her senses as the meal settled in her stomach, looking over a bowl of discarded egg shells on the kitchen counter. They looked curious. Pure white, but with flecks of golden patterns across them. What? Lydia racked her mind trying to come up with an answer for whatever animal they could come from. Beastology had never been her strongest point, however. “Uh, All-Mother?” “Mommy,” she replied, busy at the fridge. “What?” “If you need something, call me ‘Mommy’,” she said, pulling out a metal flask.  Ugh! “Fine, ‘Mommy’,” Lydia almost gagged. “What was in those pancakes?” “Just normal ingredients, baby.” The All-Mother looked back at her quizzically. “Why?” Lydia pointed over at the discarded egg-shells. “That does not look normal to me.” “Oh, Goldie wouldn’t like it if you said that to her face, honey,” she chided. “She takes really good care of herself and is very particular about which eggs Mommy can use for her babies.” “And who’s Goldie, exactly?” Lydia asked. “Mommy’s friend, sweetheart,” the giantess pointed towards the window. “She lives just outside.” What? I looked around before coming here. This cottage was the only thing in this glade!  Lydia looked over towards the window, seeing for the first time what appeared to be a garden and a few pens on the outside.  “No freaking way…” Displacement magic, it had to be. Yesterday, Lydia had walked around the cottage to make sure the All-Mother hadn’t been outside, before entering. There had been no signs of illusory magic or otherwise back then. Her thoughts were interrupted as the ancient witch put something down on the high-chair tray. Lydia looked at it, then at the giantess. It was a baby bottle, complete with a teat and seemingly full of milk. “What is that?” “That’s your baba, honey. Drink up!” “...No thank you.” “It wasn’t a request, Ly-Ly,” the giantess said, “you need it.” “I’m not thirsty,” Lydia lied. She could definitely use a drink, but a milk bottle was neither her receptacle nor beverage of choice.  “Hmm, I see,” the All-Mother said. “That’s too bad.” Phew… “Guess Mommy just has to—Oh heavens, what is that?!” she yelled, pointing behind Lydia. “What?” Lydia snapped her head around, “What is—mmph!”  The young woman’s lips snapped closed around the teat of the baby bottle, expressing some of the milk into process, dripping down on her tongue. Once again her world exploded in colours and flavours and she gave the bottle a tentative suck, rewarded with more cool milk. Oh no, it’s good… Lydia hated that she loved it so much, gulping down ounce after ounce, washing away her thirst as well as her shame, until she sucked on dry air. “There we go,” the giantess cooed. “See? Mommy knows what you need.” Lydia stared daggers at the ancient being. If the All-Mother picked up on her anger, she didn’t let it show. “Alright, up we go,” she said, freeing the young girl from the highchair, before rubbing her back and patting her gently on the bum. Oh gods, is she doing what I think— “Uuuuurp!” Lydia let out, strands of spit hitting the giantess shoulder. “There, all better.” “...I hate you.” “No you don’t, babygirl,” she assured. ----- After the humiliating treatment, Lydia had finally been let down from the high chair, stating an interest in seeing the outside of the cottage, after fluttering her eyes and debasing herself by sweetly asking Mommy dearest for permission. “Alright, sweetie. You can play outside while Mommy cleans up,” she said, motioning towards the window, where a door had now materialized from thin air. “But no wandering off, got it?” In her excitement, Lydia didn’t even question where the door had appeared from, quickly heading over. “Yes, yes.” “Yes, what?” “...Yes, ‘Mommy’,” Lydia stopped and gritted her teeth. “Good girl, go play.” Lydia toddled outside, as fast as she could carrying that extra weight in her stomach, into the lush garden. Potted plants, herbs in various colours with leaves that shifted slightly whenever she looked away, berry bushes of unknown origin and large vegetable grew in neat rows all over. Before she could take it all in, she scurried over to the nearby pens. Not to observe whatever animal that lived there, but for respite from the All-Mother. Also to try and get that ridiculous outfit off of her. The young witch looked over the blue onesie, tugging at the snaps in the back. They didn’t budge. She felt around on the inside, trying to tear at the tabs. They did not yield. Whatever held it all together, Lydia didn't stand a chance. Lydia slumped down onto ground, dirtying the onesie in the process. There was no use. Without her spellcasting, she’d never manage to free herself from the All-Mother. What had that cube done to her? How could it have messed her up so badly, if it didn’t radiate any Malice? Of course, she discarded the notion that the All-Mother was an evil entity at least. Still, if the cube isn’t demonic in origin I’m not sure how it could separate me from my mana like this… “Seems like you’re in a bit of a bind there,” a calm voice called out from behind. Lydia sighed. “You could say that again.” “First day jitters, I take it?” She scrunched up her face. “I wouldn’t call it—Wait who’s there?” “I am!” the voice cheered. The young witch turned around, only to be met with a face full of feathers. Before her stood a massive, plump goose with gentle blue eyes. Its plumage was pure white with traces of golden flecks on the end. “Greetings, young one!” the giant goose said. “My name is Goldie, what’s yours?” The giant fowl spoke with a surprisingly deep voice for a goose, with an almost aristocratic cadence that made every word sound carefully thought out. “Urm, Lydia?” “Well met, Lydia!” “Oh, eh, likewise…Goldie.” “You seem surprised, young Lydia. Pray tell what is on your mind?” “I, uh, haven’t met any talking geese before, so I guess I’m just stumped for words.” And the fact that I’m piecing together where those eggs came from, she thought, noticing a few shapes underneath the big goose. “Pssha, was that all? Well never you mind. You will find I am as good as any other conversationalist, I am sure.” “...Okay?” “But the nature of talking fowl wasn’t the reason you are down in the proverbial dumps, am I correct in assuming as much?” “Very perceptive, Goldie,” Lydia chuckled. The prospect of a verbose goose tickled her enough to lower her defenses slightly. “I suppose I’m simply overwhelmed by coming here.” “I see,” Goldie the goose nodded sagely, resting her head close to the young witch, urging her to continue. “It’s not at all what I expected,” Lydia admitted, motioning towards her attire, “this…this isn’t normal. Why bother with this treatment?” “Hmm, but what is normality exactly?” The gentle goose said, philosophically, clearing its throat. “While it’s not up to me to question the Smiling Lady’s intentions, she does seem to think it is needed for her apprentices development during their stay.” The Smiling Lady… That was a new moniker that Lydia couldn’t place. If it was perhaps pertaining to myth, she was sorely out of luck. Her parents had been very strict about what electives she chose during the Academy, ancient mythology being one of them. “The explanation could, of course, be much simpler.” “Such as?” “She utterly enjoys it.” Yeah, figured that one out myself… “This has been going on for quite some time, hasn’t it?” Lydia sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Over the centuries I’ve come to know the Smiling Lady, every apprentice of hers has faced the same tribulations,” Goldie admitted. “But, every one of them has sworn me to secrecy, so I cannot go into the details, unfortunately.” That’s…ominous? “Well, except Millie, I suppose,” Goldie said, and leaned in to whisper, “but between you and me, that girl is a few feathers short of a flock, if you catch my drift.” Again with this Millie person… “Well, I haven’t met her yet,” Lydia said. “Oh, you will, you will,” Goldie chuckled. “...Okay then. Think you could tell me anything about the All-Mother, er, Smiling Lady?” “Alas, I’ve been asked not to divulge any information. She’s a bit…sensitive about her status, let’s just say that,” Goldie said. Shit… “But one thing I can say,” Goldie leaned in conspiratorily, Lydia following suit in anticipation. “Yes?” “She truly loves all her babies,” Goldie chuckled. “...Great,” Lydia deadpanned, standing up. “Well, this was a…nice conversation, Goldie, but I think I’m going to…clear the air a bit.” “Ah, yes,” the goose said conspiratorily, motioning over with a wing to a grey garden shed. “over there, in the back, is a good place to relieve oneself in secrecy. I wouldn’t know however.” “NotremotelywhatImeantGoodbye!” Lydia took off, blushing deeply. ‘ “Until next time, young Lydia!” Goldie said after her, resuming her nesting. The young witch toddled further away from the garden, almost ending up at the edge of the forest, panting heavily, weighted down by her breakfast. Huh, I’m almost at the forest…and the All-Mother hasn’t noticed me gone yet?  “Is she…not stopping me?” she said out loud, taking another step towards the trees. “Why would she not—!” *Thunk* Lydia’s nose smacked into something invisible. Already tender from yesterday, she rubbed it gently to relieve the pain. “Ahh, Cyric be daa…Oh?” Before she could finish a swear that wouldn’t come, Lydia noticed the strange curiosity before her. Gently, she pressed her palm against its surface. It distorted faintly at her touch, carrying a warm, tingling sensation through her arm. A magic barrier? And why can I… She reached into her reserve of mana, feeling she could guide it somehow to flow into the transparent barrier. Curiosity got the better of her and she allowed herself to channel the raw arcane energy inside her, acting as a conduit. Her mind’s eye opened onto an impossible abyss. Countless threads stretched through the darkness, each one glowing with it own faint hue. Thin as spider-silk, they pulled at her, as if vying for her attention, disappearing into distances Lydia couldn’t comprehend. She let go of the barrier and gasped. Fascinating! The cube back in the nursery is nothing compared to this. Wait… Hesitation plagued her mind, as if she anticipated something to go wrong with her body, just like it had with the cube. What would happened if she continued to interact with it? Would trying to understand it somehow break her mind? Oh but it was so hard not to dive into it again, to try and understand all of its machinations. Her hand unconsciously reached for the barrier again, but stopped abruptly. The air near the forest had grown stagnant. Lydia could hear something breathing, something large at the other side of the barrier. Great black fur. Jagged teeth dripping with dark saliva from a massive maw. Golden eyes gleaming with Malice from within the dark thicket, observing her every movement. Mommy…help.

My wife just had a tooth pulled, so she's on a soft foods diet for now. Of course I was obligated to mention baby food. But were having spagetti without any meat in it.

I feel the exact same way. But I use the calculation if it's strictly legal or not. And as long as it fits within the letter of the law, I could care less what others think right up till a Karen or Ken starts threatening violence. Heck, about 20 years ago I went to a church haloween party wearing that old baby costume. The old one with a giant pin, fake diaper cover, bib, and giant rattle. But I also paired it with my own blue satin booties and matching satin bonnet.  It's funny, I had a little kid ask me if the fake cover was a real diaper. I said it wasn't but I'm incontimemt and was wearing a real diaper underneath. Her reaction was to say oh ok, and she walked away. Everyone else there thought it was a great costume, and the only negative comment was to be careful wearing it outside. Since it was so cold out I could get sick. I even won their costume contest and walked home with a big bag of candy.

hmm potty training pants, must run far away... A while back I came across guides on potty training for kids and one of the benchmarks was to stay dry for at least 2 hours. That would be nice. Criteria not met... 

That he did, and I hope she is thrilled by the bag and book set.