2011

Still better than nothing… she's treating Carter like a real person with her own interests now, rather than a pawn not behaving properly, so maybe that's the limit of her emotional bandwidth. She might respect Tess a little more when there's nobody else to think about? I'm sure she can get through at least one more chapter without doing anything particularly manipulative.   105. My Big Day A few weeks passed, day by day. I spoke to Carter occasionally, but she didn’t confide in me or ask for help again. After almost a whole day spent looking over wedding dresses, I was sure I’d picked out one that her friend would like. She liked my choices, especially when I could give reasons why they were completely logical and would allow her friend to command the attention of the crowd. She told me that her friend thought it was nice, and that she would tell me how the wedding went. After that, any time I spent browsing dresses online was for my own interest. Over the next few weeks I got to play with baby Tess a few times, but never anything serious. I tried to follow the hints I’d gotten from watching her and Ffrances play; sometimes I’d suggest that she could use her potty and feel proud of it; while sometimes I would say that she didn’t quite make it. Once she realised that I was trying to make the scene feel good for her too, and not just following the script I’d decided on when I first met her, she was a lot more willing to play along. She still had to say “I am that young” herself; she would never trust anyone else with that. But once she knew that I was trying to make it fun for her too, it was taking less and less mood-building and preparation of her emotional headspace before she was willing to do that. I could keep building on what she was willing to enjoy, and make sure she came to associate my instructions with enjoyment. Before long she would realise just how natural it was to enjoy what I had told her to enjoy, and she wouldn’t need to fight anymore. I spoke to the creep again, as well. Spike. I had to start using his name if I was going to talk to him for any length of time, even if it was a name that made me think of some depraved gang-banger who’d never had a decent family. I made sure he knew that what Tess really wanted was to be turned into a baby even as she denied it; that she craved to be forced into that role, which was why she’d spent so long trying to persuade us that it would be good for her. I tried to make him understand that she wouldn’t stay interested in him if she didn’t think there was a chance he would do something like that; and that if she even came close to mentioning regression, it would be a sign that she secretly hoped he would push her into the things she was too ashamed to admit. It was a bit harsh, I guessed, to treat him like that. But either he would lose interest, he would add more pressure for her to try the things she’d drawn a red line around, or he would try and she’d quickly realise that he wasn’t really the good guy she had trained herself to assume. She would have to see him as he really was, and I hoped that would be enough to drive a wedge between them. When it came to the first day of the conference, I couldn’t give my family the attention they needed. Claughton Innovative was my family now, and I couldn’t look at anything that wasn’t a part of their business for a whole weekend. And there were so many secrets, so many parts of the conference that needed to be dealt with. Because this wasn’t just the Claughton investors meeting with the creatives; there were big-name directors and movie stars here as well. All holed up in different independent hotels in Upper Ashfields, with their real identities and roles kept strictly on a need-to-know basis. This was it, the big deal. And the day I would hopefully be able to get what I needed to completely change the structure of my family. It would be worth it, I told myself for possibly the tenth time that morning. It was worth all the effort, and the sacrifices, if it would bring us closer in the end. The night before I’d suggested a little party, watching more of those awful movies from the last century, with both Tess and Ffrances using the hypnotic suggestions to be my babies. They were so cute, I genuinely felt bad about leaving them to fend for themselves for a couple of days. It was hard to believe that it was worth it. I was more nervous when I heard that Spike was coming over for dinner while I was away. Sure, he was a friend now. Tess wouldn’t trust me at all unless I proved that I had forgiven him, and it was the third time he would be in the house. But I was still waiting for the moment he would decide Tess’s obsession with diapers was too far from the kinky ‘daddy’ role he expected; or when he would finally push her too far. She was bound to be upset, and I needed to be there to comfort her if I wanted to make the most of that opportunity. I didn’t want it to happen while I was away. I told Ffrances that I was worried about the two of them getting too intimate in our house; but she just tried to reassure me that she would keep her eye on them. Of course she would; but she trusted that little creep. And if she was the one to comfort Tess, it would only further build up the trust between the two of them. The bond that seemed to be so strong when I was absent, taking my input out of the equation completely. I’d been the one to see that Tess wanted to be babied; I was the one who had pushed her so far. Was it so hard to understand that I deserved to be her Mommy when she realised that she needed one? In the end, I decided to make the best of a bad situation. I talked to Spike, and made sure that he understood Tess was half expecting him to force her into babyhood. He believed me there, and he promised that she only had to give him a small sign. As soon as she so much as suggested that she would like to be a baby, he would force her into diapers and take away her potty training completely, the fantasy that she was too scared to admit she wanted. And I spoke to Tess as well. I reminded her that if she was inviting her friend over, she should make sure that he stuck strictly within the limits they had agreed on. She hadn’t mentioned that he was going to be her Daddy, so I kept my advice to mundane sex. But I told her that if he put his hands on her, or tried to kiss her, without them properly agreeing that it was okay, then she shouldn’t let herself give him the benefit of the doubt. That a real friend would want her to say what she wanted in full, and wouldn’t even consider taking her beyond that. I told her that she shouldn’t consider sex, either. Even if she thought of herself as an adult, there were still things she needed to learn. When it felt like a good idea, that was a sign that her hormones were influencing her more than she realised, and anything that involved taking her clothes off should be an immediate red flag even if she thought she wanted it.  I could speak with authority there; that was a situation I’d actually been in myself. So many years before, I’d been so sure that I wanted Kieran, I’d gone so far as blackmailing him into having sex. That had gone on for nearly a year before the first stirrings of regret appeared, to make me realise that he had been taking advantage of my naïveté all along. I was sure that my own experience would make my words ring true, so she would be sure that if he wanted to get her out of her clothes for any reason, even if he made some innocent excuse, that was an immediate sign that she was being manipulated. And she seemed to believe me. I also told her that she would surprise herself with an accident if he kissed her, or if he expressed unequivocally that he wanted to be her daddy. That should be the hint he was expecting to tell him that she was ready to be babied, even if she was too shy to admit it. And I was sure that after the conversation we’d just have, Tess would see the true motivation behind any offer to change her. She would see it as proof that she was just a female body to him, and that all his claims to care about her were just a ruse to get in her pants. To make doubly sure that she wasn’t too innocent to spot what he really wanted, I made sure to tell her that she would feel like a big girl as she wet herself. The trigger to ensure that she wasn’t already slipping into her littlespace from the accident was one I’d rarely used, because I knew that she needed to get used to regression whenever it was possible. But this time I thought it would be worthwhile. My heart was pounding as I fired up my truck and began the long journey to Upper Ashfields. It was only a ten minute commute, but I felt like it took forever. There were so many things on my mind today; whether it was the danger that I couldn’t protect Tess from, or what I needed to do to make sure that my plan went through without a hitch. And when I arrived, I didn’t head to my usual parking spot. Instead I stopped on Joy Crescent, and sat behind the wheel taking a couple of deep breaths before I got out of the car. It was tempting to pick up the satchel from the passenger seat, and not to let it out of my sight for any reason. But I knew that it was safe here, and that it wouldn’t be long before I was back. Still, it was one of several insignificant steps on a path that would eventually lead to the exact situation I wanted. It mattered, no matter how easily I could replace it. But Upper Ashfields didn’t have crime; and the security detail here today was ten times the norm. My vehicle was safe. I jogged down to the office, which gave me five minutes of moderate exercise to help clear my head. I checked if there were messages for me, double-checked my email, and then looked at the cameras at home to see if Ffrances and Tess had discussed anything of importance between my departure and Tess heading off for school. It broke my heart to know that I wouldn’t be there when she got back from school. It was worse to know that it would be Sunday night before I could talk to her again, but I knew I had to trust her, and all the plans I had made. Then I went straight back to my car. I picked up the satchel, and then made the short trip to the Old House Inn. The name was literal; the building was made up of four rural houses that had stood here before the Upper Ashfields project was conceived, now gathered together to become a very special hotel. Each of the dozen apartments within was a fully appointed home, with all the features necessary for self-sufficiency; but they also had access to communal dining and leisure facilities, allowing visitors the best of both worlds. Rather than pressing the buzzer for any of the rooms, which I knew would get a negative response, I went to the reception desk. “Gabby Noel,” I introduced myself, after the receptionist on duty had revealed herself to be one of the owners and the official liaison with us for the coming week’s events. “From SYL. Thought I should introduce myself. Did our delivery arrive on time last night?” “Yeah. But I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. Our chef’s won awards for his cheeseboards, you know? Can’t you guys let us handle it? And why all the secrecy?” “This guy is very particular about his cheese,” I said with a smile, after spending a few seconds trying to think of the name. “And we have a strong interest in making sure he is happy. If it makes it any easier, I’ve had the task of planning his cheeseboard for the last month, and you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to keep on giving him five new flavours every single day. But today…” I patted the satchel. “Today I’ve got an extra one for him. I’d appreciate it if you could let him know that he’s the first person outside the maker’s immediate family ever to taste this one. And that I’d appreciate an opportunity to talk to him, if he has a free moment.” “I’ll tell him,” she mumbled. “I don’t know if you’ll have any luck, though. Mr Smith doesn’t strike me as a talkative guy.”

I love the chapter .....and the story, more please .

The experience shows how quickly strict routines can become challenging when real-life circumstances don’t go as planned.

Great chapter . I love the PJ,s and bottle .

Really? Which one? Now, that would make a great story.