2011

Been waiting all year for this! Proceed... 😅

I sat there not really sure what to do as i looked around trying to adjust being in a new place. Tony brings out lunch for everyone else as i hear you sit down next to me and i look up to you wondering what i was going to have for lunch.

Feelings

STR8UP tonight.  

Chapter 2: Grace   “Granny, please let me wear Pull-Ups! I promise I won’t have an accident.”   “I’m not sure that’s a promise you can keep, honey,” Margaret said, her eyes drifting toward her granddaughters lower half. It took the 25 year old a few moments to realize what her grandmother was alluding to, her diaper was soaked. In the midst of her plea to be promoted back to Pull-Ups, Grace unknowingly wet herself, so much so that the already damp diaper was now sagging awkwardly under her gym shorts.    “I knew that,” Grace lied, her voice cracking. “I-I j-just let it all out before I changed into something new.”   “That’s very smart of you, Gracie,” Margaret said with a smirk. “Now let’s get you into a new diaper, Elliot and his mother will be here any minute.”   Grace could only pout as Margaret guided her to her bed for a change, a process that she has become uncomfortably familiar with. She was perfectly capable of changing herself, and she did so most of the time, but whenever they were short on time Margaret would take matters into her own hands. Grace knew better than to fight it, she just plopped down onto her bed in a huff, and began scrolling through her phone.    “I’m going to need to start checking your diaper from now on,” Margaret said, tearing off the tapes of her diaper and inspecting the soiled garment. “A drop more of wee and you would have leaked”   “Granny!”   “Hush now, Honeybun. Besides, I wouldn’t need to check if you got off that video game for a few seconds and at least tried to use the potty,” Margaret said as she meticulously wiped down the 25 year old.    Grace let her phone fall to her chest and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling. Her grandmother was right, she thought. Over the past few months, her wetting has got progressively worse, so much so that she hardly even attempted to make it to the bathroom. What was the point? She’d rush to the bathroom, hands pinned to her crotch, bouncing awkwardly from foot to foot, and when she finally did make it to the toilet, she would only hear the faint sound of a few drops of pee actually making its way into the bowl. The rest was soaking up the padding of her diaper. It was less embarrassing and more convenient to just accept reality and let go wherever she was, which was usually in her gaming chair.    “Up,” Margaret said. On instinct, Grace lifted her bum in the air, just long enough for Margaret to remove the old diaper and replace it with a new one. “There is no reason to be self conscious, Elliot is the same age as you and wears diapers as well.”   “He doesn’t have to wear them all the time like some big baby.”   “Wearing diapers does not make you baby. However, whining about wearing diapers does,” Margaret said playfully, finishing up the tapes of the new diaper and giving it a few pats for good measure. “Now I was not suppose to tell you this but Elliot had a bit of an accident the day I met him and since then he started wearing during the day as well. His mother said he’s been pretty down since then, so try not to be all doom and gloom about diapers.”   “I won’t,” Grace said, with a hint of sadness in her voice. Elliot’s incident reminded her of the countless accidents she has had before finally accepting she needed to wear full time. One particular moment was seared into her brain, the single most humiliating thing that has ever happened to her.    It was her junior year of college, she was practically skipping home from her last class of the day. After an uneventful first two years of college, she had finally come out of her shell and met her dream guy, Lucas. He was a star athlete, tall, handsome, a guy every girl wanted, and he was hers. On Friday’s,  he would sleep at her dorm after practice until she got off class, then the two would grab dinner. Even after six months of dating, she still felt the butterflies in her stomach whenever they were together. When she finally reached her dorm, she sprinted up stairs, turning the doorknob in excitement, eager to see the love of her life, but he was not alone.      Julia, her witch of a roommate, was naked, sitting on Lucas’s lap, their lips locked in a passionate kiss. The two jumped at the sound of the door opening, their heads snapping back to see Grace, mouth open and fresh tears falling down her cheeks. Julia demounted Lucas, and stood up from the bed, facing Grace. While Luca scooted toward the edge of the bed, his hands covering his face to hide his shame.    “How could you,” Grace shrieked, but Lucas remained silent, his head down, avoiding eye contact.    “Isn’t it obvious,” Julia interrupted. “Lucas wants to be with a real women. Not a pamper pisser,”   The words struck like daggers. Grace wanted to scream, how did Julia know about her diapers and how does that justify what they were doing. Grace’s tears turned into a violent sob that made it difficult for her to speak. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Grace spit out between sobs. She didn’t have time to react to what came next. Julia, only a few feet away from Grace, quickly pulled down her sweatpants, exposing her soaked Pull-Up to the pair. Grace shrieked and felt her bladder release, pee gushing into the already wet diaper. She felt sticky liquid run down her legs, seeping into her sneakers. Julia let out a high pitched giggle, while Lucas stared in shock.    “Oh my god,” Lucas said. “I thought they were just rumors,”   “Rumors?” Grace cried. She tried to reach down and pull her pants back up, but Julia placed her foot between Grace’s legs, trapping them around feet. Grace frantically kept pulling at her pants trying, and failing, to free them from Julia’s foot but it only succeeded in making her tumble forward, landing on her hands and knees, her padded bottom hanging in the air.    “You think I didn’t notice?” Julia said, the disgust palpable in her voice. “Every morning the unmistakably smell of stale pee, that annoying crinkle sound whenever you walk, and you insisting to take the trash out each morning. It couldn’t be more obvious. You are nothing more than an immature, disgusting little pantswetter.”    “Come on, Julia,” Lucas interjected. “That’s enough.”   “No, she needs to hear it,” Julia snapped back. “Lucas and I were talking, he brought up how after six months of dating you still hadn’t put out. You told him you were saving yourself for the right person? Bullshit. You didn’t spread your legs because Lucas would discover what the whole campus already knows, you are a flat-chested, crybaby, virgin who needs diapers.”   Grace stood up, her cheeks wet with tears. How could she be so stupid, she thought. Of course Julia knew about her diapers, but why did she go to such lengths to humiliate her. “Why? Why tell everyone? Why fuck my boyfriend? What have I ever done to you,” Grace screamed, her fists balled up in rage.    “Why?” Julia said incredulously. “I’ll tell you why. I hate waking up each day next to an overgrown baby, I hate my dorm room smelling like a nursery and I hate seeing you waddle around with Lucas, when he should be with me,” she yelled, turning her focus back to Lucas. “But who cares what I think, let’s ask him. Lucas, who would you rather be with me,” she said, running her hands down her well-endowed chest before spinning around to show Lucas her even more impressive ass. “Or the baby,” she said sarcastically, grabbing Grace by her shoulders and shoving her into Lucas’s lap.   Grace landed in the college juniors lap with an audible squelch, her overflowing diaper leaking onto his bare thighs. Before she could stand up, Lucas gently shoved her off his lap, and onto the other side of the bed. “Ewww, fucking gross. I’ve got piss all over me,” he said, almost  involuntarily, his voice dripping with distain. After whipping off the sticky, warm liquid, he turned back to Grace, a hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry that it happened this way. I swear I’m not this type of guy, but diapers? Six months of dating and you didn’t think to tell me? Did you think I’d be okay with this?“ he questioned, turning back to Julia, putting his hand around her waist. “Julia did me a favor by telling me. We’re done.”   Julia’s eyes lit up, burrowing into the arms of her new boyfriend. “I could never lie to you babe,” she said, reaching up and giving Lucas a peck on his cheek. “Now let’s get dressed and head back to your dorm. We can finish up there, I think it’s about Grace’s nap time.”   Grace didn’t bother to watch them leave, she buried her face into her pillow and bawled her eyes out for hours. Things were never the same on campus after that. When Julia first told people that Grace wore diapers, most people didn’t believe her. It sounded like cruel fiction from a vindictive roommate, but with Lucas on her arm, corroborating the story, the entire campus now knew the truth. She was not Grace anymore, she was the “Diaper Girl”. She submitted a roommate transfer request with the floor’s RA, but no one was willing to bunk with the campus baby. It didn’t matter anyways, Julia practically moved in with Lucas, only returning to grab additional clothes. Once the semester ended, she opted to spend the rest of her college life in off-campus housing. The once inviting campus had morphed into her own personal hell. The stares, the name-calling, even the nicest of students avoided her like the plaque, lest her unpopularity spread to them. She never dated again, or even looked in the direction of a cute guy. She began to accept that Julia was right, no one wanted to date a college girl who still pissed herself like a baby.    “You alright, honeybun,” Margaret said, sensing her granddaughter was lost in thought.   Grace snapped out of the unwanted memory, steeling herself so to prevent herself from crying. “I’m fine. Just thinking,” she said, sadness evident in her voice.   “Listen, Grace. The past, what people say about you, and even that diaper, does not define you. What defines you is in here,” Margaret said, tapping her heart. “and having seen you grow over the past 25 years, you have the purest heart I have ever seen,”   Grace smiled, the pains of the past fading away. “Thank you, Granny.”   “You’re welcome, honeybun. Now get dressed, I think I hear them driving in now.”