2011

Wearing nothing but a pull-up to bed would fill me with dread!

Ch. 3 Apartment D, Steven’s Place The car ride back to the apartments was as short as the ride to the Urgent Care, but uncomfortably silent. Steven’s reflection in the rearview mirror had a thousand yard stare. He had walked in the Urgent Care as just a friendly neighbor and walked out as a new Daddy. It was the same stare he had when Nurse Hannah was installing the cheap, basic booster seat and instructing him on the importance of a 5-point harness carseat. He had just nodded along with Piper on his hip and a pack of the hospital diapers in the other.    Piper had remained silent during the car ride, too, but only because the inflated pacifier gag was still filling her mouth. A dull ache in her jaw had dulled even more to numbness.   It was pushing midnight by the time Steven parked back in his spot outside of the quadplex. He turned the car off, exited, then waited next to the passenger door. I’m not helping him out anymore. He’ll work it out on his own, probably. Fuck… I hope I made the right choice. I mean, he has to learn how to do these things now, no backing out now . . .I think? Once he remembered himself he hurriedly opened the door and placed his freshly Adopted Little on his hip again.    “Shoot. I’m so sorry. I’m not used to - I didn’t-” Steven huffed as he grabbed the pack of diapers and their copy of the hospital Adoption forms. Yikes. She felt even more dazed and confused than him, but the pacifier gag kept her from commiserating with him. So Piper just opted for half hearted pats on his shoulder with her free hand that wasn’t propping herself up from his chest.    He paused in the hallway when he made it between the doors to their respective apartments. “You should … stay with me tonight. I think.” The pack of diapers and papers were discarded on the floor, freeing his hand to jingle through the key ring until he found the one for his apartment. This was the first time since returning from his failed date that he had opened his apartment door.    Guess he ended up bringing a girl back to his apartment after all. Piper let out a muffled giggle at that thought.    “What could you possibly find funny about this?” Steven asked. She didn’t answer. Half because there was no way for her to mumble past the inflated gag, and half because this was the first time she had gotten more than a brief look from the hallway at Steven’s apartment.    It was the mirror of hers, but where her furniture and knick-knacks were mismatched pieces she had found through thrifting, his apartment had some more thought put into the decorations. A brown leather couch, a matching recliner, a dining table that was half cleared and half covered in mail. The walls were the same off white beige as Piper’s apartment, but the pictures were hung at Amazon height and featured Steven and, Piper assumed, his mother and some other family members. Piper’s frames were filled with art, no pictures of family hung on her walls.    Huh, so this is what it looks like when you don’t have to worry about being too lazy to get the step stool out to hang things on the wall.    It was at the dining table where he sat her down, taking a seat himself. His shoulders slumped. “There’s nothing funny about this. I shouldn’t have signed those papers,” his hands found his face and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. “I’m not ready to be a Daddy yet.”    You can start by taking his pacifier gag out. God my jaw hurts.    “Why did you start filling out those forms?” Steven looked at her expectantly.    He stared as he waited for her response. The only one she could give him was motioning towards the shield of her pacifier gag.    “Shit!” The button on her gag was pressed, the bulb deflated, and finally Piper could feel the blood flow back into her jaw.    “Yuh knoh” she said as she massaged her cheeks and jaw, “that yuh left thuh fowms in thuh hullway, wight?” She wasn’t going to give him the answer until her jaw could feel again and not until she had those forms in front of them both. He’s wigging worse than me. He needs to realize that he’s in it now. She wiggled around in her seat, trying to find a comfy position. A crinkle sounded with each wiggle, and she finally decided that crossing her legs was the optimum position in the Amazon-sized wooden chair.    “Here,” the papers were unceremoniously deposited onto the table top. “Umm…” he looked around trying to figure out where to set the pack of diapers “I guess these can go here for now.” He awkwardly deposited the diapers on the table as well, looking as uncomfortable with them as if he had been the one relegated to the life of having to piss in them every day.    “Now, why did you fill out those forms with my information?”   Because you didn’t listen to me. But you’re gonna listen now.   “Because you didn’t listen to me when I said that I didn’t want to go to the Urgent Care.” She didn’t look at him, just grabbed the papers and started flipping through them, landing on the one that explained the Willowsford Little Adoption program. Six to eight weeks for a date to be in front of a judge to make this final, hmm. Alright, that’s a workable timeline.    “I- what? I didn’t listen to you?”   “No,” she flipped the page and read through all of the legalese. Law word law word healthy and safe environment law term law term found to be a competent caregiver.  “You didn’t listen to me.” The Little is found to be thriving buh buh buh can’t be hypnotized. Very good for me. “I was just supposed to let you be in pain for an easily treated infection?” His knee was bouncing up and down rapidly. “You’re a person who needed help, how could I just not help you?” Her eyes rolled before she gave him her response. She was tired, humiliated, and no longer felt her Amazon filter in place. “Yes, Steven. I did need help. But to you, I’m a person. To everyone else tonight I was a Little in wet pants and you were the lucky Amazon who caught me.” She had never let herself be this blunt with him before. Her usual routine of dancing around his inquiries and finding the quickest way out of conversations wouldn’t serve her purposes now.    “If you had listened to me I would just be running a late load of laundry and you could be here, alone, planning your morning phone call with your mommy. But you didn’t listen. So congratulations, I’m your consequence.” Huh, if the Amazon is found to be unfit to be a caregiver for the Little or surrenders custody then they will go in a database and be unable to Adopt again. Interesting, Steven’s dates wouldn’t last to the first Mom phone call if he was on this list.    His arms crossed, her words had never been as blunt before. “Consequence? I was just being a good friend, Piper. You’ve always been a good friend to me.” Oof, he thinks that was friendship? More like an uneasy hostage situation every time he wanted to come over and talk.    “No, you weren’t being a good friend. We never were friends, because you’re an Amazon.” The forms made a plop sound as they hit the table. She needed to make eye contact with him to get him to understand. “I wanted to handle my UTI myself, but you’re an Amazon. I was going to run back into the building after the cop left, but you ratted out where I lived and gave him my name, because you’re an Amazon. You sat there while I tricked you into giving me information to fill out the forms, because you’re Steven.”   “Wait, what do you mean ‘we never were friends’?” Her words had cut him deep, he seemed to physically sag into the wooden dining chair across from her. Then, mostly to himself, he said “I thought we were pretty close.” Ok Piper, pull slightly back on the venom.    “Look, Steven. I’m flattered that before tonight you thought of me as a friend. But to be honest, I kept you at arms length.” She sighed when his dour look didn’t go away. “No Little lets themselves get close to Amazons. Because they usually end up looking like this.” She pulled the fabric of the onesie forward that was embroidered with the words Baby Girl forward. “Obviously, I didn’t keep you far away enough.”   “I just…” He paused, searching around his apartment like he was going to find the words he wanted to say, or holding back tears. “Even though it’s obvious that you’ve started regressing, or have whatever medical condition the nurse mentioned, I still don’t see why you had to fill those forms out with my information. ” “Of course you failed to see it!” She almost shouted. “Steven, I’ve spent nine years on my own navigating Amazons! Pretending to be the model adult Little citizen! Not staying out late after dark and not standing too close to my dates on the street! But when you placed me in front of that cop and those nurses the only way it was going to end was me crinkling with every movement. You’re the loser who ruined that for me!” “You think I’m -” he made an impression of a fish gasping for air, “a loser?”   Was he not aware? I thought Amazon’s were only this blind to their Little parenting skills. She hadn’t thought her opinions would shock him this much, especially now that he was agreeing on some level that she was regressing back to infancy. But her words still held weight with him, and that was more than other Littles in her position weren’t usually afforded.   Fuck it, we both got to rip this band aid off. “Everyone does, Steven. I mean, you take calls from your mother when you’re at the movies. You think a Little is your friend, and rent from a Tweener. Amongst Amazons and Littles, you are a loser, and that’s why every girlfriend you’ve ever had has broken up with you. Sorry that it took Adopting me for you to find out.” And not a lot of other Amazons would be letting any Little, Adopted or not, talk to them like this, Steven.   “I can’t do this.” Steven stood up and started pacing. “The nurse said you were experiencing a loss of maturity, and that’s obvious by the way you’re talking. That by filling out the forms that you were looking for a ‘Dada’. But I can’t be a Daddy. I can’t do this, you need someone who isn’t me. You need someone ready to take care of a Little.” His hands were running through his dark auburn hair, pulling at his scalp. “First thing tomorrow I’m surrendering you. I shouldn’t have finished those forms. Why did I let that nurse talk me into finishing those forms?”    “Because she was hot!” Piper quipped with a wry grin. The panicking Amazon stopped his pacing for a moment to stare at her. Having a precocious and cute Little girl is an excuse enough for women to come up and talk to him. I think he can be coached. “That isn’t funny, Piper! This isn’t funny! I shouldn’t have signed those forms!” He continued pacing around the room. “Steven, please sit back down and take some deep breaths. You’re panicking like you were the one Adopted and placed in this stupid baby girl onesie.” I didn’t even wear this frilly stuff my first time in diapers.   “This is serious! Shouldn’t you be panicking? Begging for panties or planning an escape or something?” “No, I mean - “ Piper sighed, she had always had a better grip on her emotions than most other Littles. “Yes, on the inside I am, but panicking outwardly isn’t going to help you or I.” She took a deep breath. I’ll think about it tomorrow. Sending him into a panic spiral where he was making plans to surrender her hadn’t been her goal and she had to reign him back in.   “As for panties,” she picked the forms back up, “see your signature here? You consented to my treatment, and the medicine . . . well. If I was an Amazon I would be able to have panties back. But the dose they used on me sort of…made me numb to feeling my bladder urges.”   I’m stuck pissing myself whether I like it or not.   “I consented to that?” He grabbed the papers to read the exact line she had pointed to. Squinting as he tried to see how they meant that he gave the Urgent Care permission to make her bladder incontinent. “They never explained that to me…” “The nurses were going to see to it that I ended up in diapers whether you signed those forms or not. You took me to that Urgent Care, I just needed to make sure I walked out with you.” It was time to start her pitch. Steven, the loser who saw Littles as capable people but would let a pretty nurse talk sweet talk him into Adopting one, was still the Amazon she wanted in her corner.   “Because yes, you didn’t listen to me, and yes, you are a loser. But you’re who I need to be with so I can keep being myself. If you hadn’t finished those forms, or if you surrender me tomorrow, I’m just going to end up either in an orphanage or with an Amazon who’ll just put headphones on me and blast me with hypnosis until I’m their vision of a perfect Little baby girl.”   “Piper, come on, hypnosis is illegal. No one is going to do that. You’d be safer with someone who knows what they’re doing.” She rolled her eyes as he made that statement.    Hypnosis was, technically, illegal where they lived. But hard to prove in the court system. Any Adopted Little who found themselves being conditioned to squat upon first urge was usually never in the position to be considered a credible witness to what they’ve endured, because obviously they had just lost their maturity. Any free Little who could vouch for how someone was before Adoption would find themselves sat in front of the same video.    In practice, the law only really functioned as a tool for Amazons to tell Littles their fears were just hysterics.    “Be serious, you know as well as I do that hypnosis is still used. Do you want to risk me ending up with an Amazon who thinks they can get away with it and I stop being me?”    “No, I don’t. But,” he sat back down and slumped his shoulders, “Piper, I can’t be a Daddy. I don’t know how to do this.” “But you can’t surrender me. Look here.” She flipped the papers over to the Adoption program pages and pointed to what he needed to read. “If you surrender me you’ll never be able to Adopt again. You’ll be on a list of Amazons deemed unable to care for Littles.” “So? I can’t care for a Little who’s regressing back to infancy. That list is what I should be on.” “No, because you know how you have romance problems now? Do you know how worse you’ll have it when the person you’re dating hears you’re on a list?”   “Fuck,” he ran his hands through his hair again, “I mean. I could just date Tweeners?” The way he spoke that question let Piper know he wasn’t convinced that Tweeners were the solution. I think I can sell him on this.    “There’s no need to accept being on that list for the rest of your life. We can make this work. Look,” she motioned for him to turn the page, “they have a guide on how to be a good Daddy and what the LPS agent will be looking for! It’s like an open notes test!” He flipped over to the page and read over the list. “I just, I don’t know. This is all so sudden, I hadn’t planned on becoming a Daddy right now.” Yeah, and I hadn’t planned on pissing in a diaper for the rest of my life but life likes to throw punches when you least expect them. Ya gotta roll with them.   “And the money.” He stared at the ceiling, lost in mental math. “Work pays well, and I have some savings, but I was planning on buying a house in two years.”    Piper motioned for him to give her back the forms, mostly as a way to not get distracted by asking him what he did for work again. “All the answers are here again, Steven. Look, you, or rather me,” she flashed him a cheeky grin, “opted to not legally declare me dead. All of my stuff is now yours. Including all of my savings.”    The forms were in his hands again as he read over the legalese. “And how much is that?” “Oh, enough to cover the costs of getting us all the latest in recommended Little gear.” She hoped that would be a good answer for him but he shot her a look over his glasses at her. “Well, remote web design paid well enough, and I never really had a reason to travel, or spend it on anything big like a car. So, after paying off school, and keeping up with rent and utilities, I have about twenty thousand.”   “Wow,” Steven blinked a couple times as he took in that number, “Yeah, that would be enough to cover getting everything you need.” He sounded almost convinced. Almost.    Alright, time to seal this.    “Steven, if you promise not to drop me off at an orphanage tomorrow, then I will promise to help you learn how to be a Daddy, and I will also help you get better at dating.” “Hahaha,” he laughed. Chuckling for a bit before he gathered himself. “How are you going to help me with dating?” “Come on, Steven.” They had lived next to each other for some time. For as often as he got home from failed dates, she had brought over several girlfriends. Of course, they had never been happy to hear she lived next to an Amazon. But that worry usually dissipated once they had seen Steven was exactly the way Piper described him. “I know what women want. Also, by being a Daddy your stock has gone up! Women love commitment!”   “Oh, yeah. Sorry I guess you would understand women.” He leaned back and started cleaning his glasses on his shirt, his face pensive as he considered her solution to their troubles.   Well, at least my second time around with a dad the lesbian thing won’t be an issue.   “Alright, Piper. You have yourself a deal.” Steven said, then a goofy grin spread across. “Or, I guess I should say you have yourself a ‘Dada’” He laughed at his own joke, only stopping when he saw Piper’s frown. “Oh, deal, you have yourself a deal.”   “Great! You’re not going to regret this! I -” Piper tried to stifle it but she couldn’t hold back a yawn.    “Oh gosh,” Steven tapped the screen on his phone to wake it up, “It’s almost one in the morning. We should get you to bed.”   Piper nodded and covered her mouth as she let out another yawn. “See, you’re doing such a great job already.” She found herself being placed on his hip again, a faint squish and crinkle of her diaper made her aware of the slight dampness against her crotch.    “I don’t have a guest bed in the spare room, but I think the couch will do for now.” Steven pointed down to the pink pacifier that was resting on the table. “Do you want that back?” “Absolutely not!”

I win

My face starts to turn red and i tried to hold it but i can't and i start to push

I concur. Wear whatever you like, if containment is not a concern, but even if you don't need to wear anything, if you are envisioning using your night pants as they were intended, here and there, for a relaxing guilty recumbent wee, then go diaper. I've never met a pull-up that can reliably contain a wee taken with reckless abandon, in anything other than a standing position, and certainly not one of the adolescent products, which, although they stretch admirably, are engineered for smaller physiology. I can fit into the XXL Goodnites, but they are of little use to me, and certainly, never, ever, for sleeping in. But I've been at this for too long and have made myself back into a bedwetter. I've learned through hard experience that even the best disposable ABDL diapers can fail you, when gravity is pulling on an unpredictable vector. Cloth diapers are the absolute best insurance, but second to that, lined plastic pants can make a disposable bank-vault secure.