2011

It's the little things you do that make this work great. Like this chapter shows how Gabby thinks of Spike as a girl when Spike is presenting as a girl.

Don't forget the shipping and machine set up costs.

@CptKirk  oh my!  I don't trust people.  In college I loaned a roommate my 2400 baud modem for a few days.  When asked for it back, he said no he's not giving it back.  Then he stopped paying rent.  I got rid of that roommate. My  toys' wants. needs and desires are on electronics based...I am too cheap and usually go for the cheaper things.  I installed puppy linux on my wifes Win 10 laptop for browsing when I don't want to use my 100 watt AMD 9800x3d, which I use for gaming.  I did get a new 4k 32" monitor, though not the priciest or best.  Looking back, maybe I should of got a curved 40"+.  I recently upgraded my Kindle, which was 50% off to replace my 2019 one.   I did get a new carpet cleaner.  Last one, the turbine broke (provides air to move parts and dry), which I replaced.  Then something near the head broke and water just leaks out.  I think I ran it four times.  Hopefully this different brand will last longer. The other car needs to have either tires rotated or at least one replaced and most likely brakes.  Probably oil change, basic stuff. I'm hoping November 17th  credit card bill won't be $7k instead of $9k as $3k for property taxes will be dumped out. I almost went with them...think it was more "expensive" than Tello at the time.  I do notice TEllo has a bit of a data delay, versus TMO.

Okay, so short backstory... I always wanted to be incontinent. I have worn diapers for 15+ years 24/7. So, I went on vacation almost 2 years ago, and since it was a beach location I decided to go without a diaper when going to the beach, and the diapers were crap quality anyway. It went okay, just pee a bit more often than usual as a precaution (when I hold for too long my sphincter tightens up and it is almost impossible to pee). So it went kind of okay, but sometimes I had to hold it for too long. A month after I got terrible pain in my left testicle. It gradually got worse. Still vacation, so I went to hospital for ultrasound. They did one, and everything was fine. I had to mostly stay in bed for weeks, back in diapers. It didnt go away. Then I got back home to my home country, still pain. I went to a new ultrasound there, same result, testicles fine. I had no idea what was wrong. Gradually it got better as I got into my old routine with diapers every day. So next up is another vacation, same country and same great idea to "quit diapers" for a while. The pain came back, this time really terrible, at the end I could barely walk. I was in a neighbouring country to the one I am in now, and saw a urologist there. He explained to me this was referred pain (CPPS), and the issue was my inflamed prostate. But, I didnt have an inflamed prostate I found out. So I took tamsulosin with no help for a while. Pain did not go away. Then I decided to start wearing diapers and peeing regularly before any "tension" again, and gradually it dawned on me that the cause of everything could be as simple as me trying to hold. Gradually the pain resided, but not fully. Anyway, I started to understand the dynamics. And to be honest, I always feel some "discomfort" in my sphincter, and especially after holding it starts to "burn" when it finally lets go. I booked another urologist at a different hospital, and tried to explain, but he was not very helpful. Then I went back to the hospital I visited 2 years ago and asked specifically for the urology surgeon, and booked an appointment. He took me seriously and thanked me for explaining, then sent me to ultrasound which was kind of normal, except 178 ml in bladder when it should be full (although I know I can have higher capacity than that, but it really felt full and I even wet my diaper a little while waiting for the ultrasound because I couldnt hold). Today I went back, we went through the results, and he wanted to send me to another hospital for urodynamics with a camera. I said yes, but then they called me with the price and it was expensive, too expensive if I didnt know the outcome. I went back to the urologist and explained I am paying all of this out of pocket as the insurance doesnt cover it. He had finished work, and we sat in the lobby and talked about things, and he gave me the "you will be fully incontinent" and all that. I said I know. And then after thinking for some moments he said "what you have told me actually make sense, we can do it, wait here". Then he left, cancelled the appointment at the other hospital, and came back with his phone....and asked me to pick a date, any date. I was kind of in shock, and said I needed some time to pick a date. He also said it would be done as outpatient, 2 hour surgery then back home if no issues (bleeding, in which case I would spend a night in hospital). So, here I am. Kind of in shock. I didnt expect this today. But I have wanted this for 15+ years, complete relaxation and no worries. I am one phone call from getting a sphincterotomy and become incontinent. From other people who had this; how did it affect sexual life? My reasoning is that if I go to empty my bladder before having sex, then get erected, my inner sphincter and bladder neck will tighten from reflex. I know it already does this, or I would get retrograde ejaculation always. The difference would obviously be that no "shooting" is possible, but thats an easy choice. Also the surgeon said one cut 12 o clock which should avoid nerves...  he is very experienced at a major hospital. I was surprised its only outpatient procedure, 2 hours and home. He didnt mention anything about sexual function but he asked me first visit and I said it was normal. For people who have removed bladder neck/internal sphincter too, this question doesnt apply. Wish me luck! :D

Hello. I have a new story to share with you (and I swear it's not as weird as my last one). I'll be sharing new chapters every two weeks or so. If you really wanted to, you could join my Ream Stories page (I'm sure there's a link somewhere in my profile or whatever), where readers there are a few chapters ahead already. Otherwise, happy to see you here, checking out this story. What is this story? Basically: A year in the life of Courtney (but call him Court, please), a bedwetting boy who has been accidentally placed in a girls' dorm room at college. Enjoy!   January: Personal Things 1. The plastic chair I’m sitting in was clearly chosen for its design, and not its comfort. It looks expensive, with its sweeping curves and transparent-smokey color. But it feels too stiff. There’s no give in it whatsoever. I can’t help but wonder if this was intentional–if this chair’s only real purpose is to keep me sitting straight up and at attention as I gaze across the large wooden desk to the man sitting on the other side of it. “Mr. Daniels,” the man says, flipping through some papers in his hands. “You’re an interesting case.” The placard on his desk reads: Dr. Jonathan Rizzoli, Dean of Education. He’s not as old as I expect him to look–maybe in his mid-40s? His hair is graying, but he’s still got some youthfulness in the smooth skin of his face. The pink button-up he’s wearing is a bold choice, though it seems to suit him well. I feel like this should probably tell me something about him, though I’m not certain what that is. I say nothing, nervously fidgeting with my hands in my lap as I wait for him to finish his thought. “Good grades. Good recommendations. You had an academic scholarship too.” “Y-yes, sir.” “But I understand that there was an…altercation at your last university?” I swallow nervously. I find the word ‘altercation’ to be a little triggering. My first instinct is to try and defend myself. Instead, I pause and give myself a moment to organize my thoughts before saying something I’ll regret. A good first impression is probably vital here–I’m already well aware of the fact that I’m going to have some eyes on me from now on. “It won’t happen again, sir,” I say. He nods his head, setting the documents down on the desk before sighing. “I’m not oblivious to the facts, you know. I know your last university found you to be just as complicit as the other students involved in your little incident, but I think they were wrong about that.” I’m surprised to hear this. “Really?” “They were bullies, yes? They’d been teasing you for a while?” “Uh…” I’m hesitant to say anything, unsure if I’d somehow be incriminating myself. “It’s okay,” he says. “Speak freely. I want to hear your side of the story too.” “Y-yes,” I say. “They’d been teasing me all semester. I tried to, you know, ignore it. But…” “They got in your face,” he says. It’s not a question. “Yes, sir.” “They threatened you.” “Yes, sir.” “So you fought back.” “Right.” “It’s probably unprofessional for me to say so, but just between you and me, I think I’d have done the same if I were in your shoes. I know it’s the job of school administration to have you come talk to us when things like this are happening, but I know how hard that can be in the moment. Besides, it’s documented that you did report this behavior to the school on multiple occasions. And, well, it doesn’t seem that they did enough to prevent it from continuing.” “I did, yes.” “Look, our Admissions department was hesitant about the transfer. I think they worried that you’d be a problem here too.” “But…” He holds up a hand to signal that he’s not finished speaking. “I looked over your file and gave the approval for the transfer. I think you’re a good student, Courtney. I think you just got stuck in a bad situation.” “Court,” I say. “I’m sorry?” “Uhm…Court. I go by just ‘Court.’” “Ah, right,” he says, nodding. “I suppose that makes sense. What I’m saying is that I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. I think Starbright University is a good fit for you, and I’d like to see you have a fair shot at getting an education.” “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that, sir.” He nods again. “But here’s the thing, Courtney. Er, Court. It’s my word, and reputation, that are on the line here, okay? I absolutely cannot have you be a part of any trouble while you’re a student at this institution.” “I understand.” “I’m not going to lie to you–there’s members of our faculty who are probably going to be keeping a close eye on you. So long as you keep your head down, stay out of trouble, and mind your studies, I think you’re going to be just fine. But if there’s any issues…” “There won’t be any issues,” I say. “I promise.” “I’m choosing to believe you,” he says. 2. It was hard enough to do all this the first time. It’s even harder the second time around.  New school. New city. New state. No friends. But unlike the first time I did this, when everyone in my class was in the same situation, I’m now coming onto campus in the middle of the school year, between semesters. Everyone else has had a few months to make friends and get the lay of the land. There’s cliques and groups and circles, and I’m outside of all that.  My mom says that it’s not as big of a deal as I think it is. She reminds me that this is college and not high school–the student body is too big for anyone to notice or care. I’m sure she’s right, but that doesn’t help me in dealing with the dread that’s been bubbling inside of me since Starbright first accepted me.  Accepted me under duress. I’m arriving on campus with a minimal amount of my belongings. My mother offered to pack the van and come up here with me, but it’d been hard for her to pull herself away from other engagements. I finally told her that I’d just take the train, and bring what I could fit in a backpack and a suitcase or two. As it turned out, that was really all the space I needed. Besides, I was thinking it was for the best that Mom hadn’t come along. I love her, of course, but she has a tendency to be…a lot, especially in new situations, and I didn’t need her being a part of anyone’s first impressions of me. I look at the paper I got from the office, stating where my dorm room is. Maple Hall, Room 322. I’m standing in front of Maple Hall now, but something’s not sitting right with me. I can’t tell what it is just yet, but I have a bad feeling.  A group of girls walk past me, barely even glancing at me as they talk to each other. They’re pretty–but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m at an age where I tend to find all girls to be pretty attractive. And scary. I walk into the lobby and look around me. Mailboxes. A lounge area. Staircases. Elevators. That discomfort in my stomach seems to intensify. What’s wrong with this picture? And that’s when it occurs to me that, with the exception of one guy sitting on a couch with a young woman, everyone in the lobby is female.  Is this…a woman’s dorm?  I sigh. This is probably going to be a whole debacle, isn’t it? I can already assume what happened: they saw my name, Courtney Daniels, and assumed I was a girl. An understandable error, considering that it’s plagued me my entire life.  I might as well get this conversation over with. I’ll wheel my suitcase back to the office and tell them they’ve made an error. Then I’ll wait for them to correct it and send me on my way towards a male dorm building. “You look confused,” a voice to my left says. I turn around, finding a young woman standing near me, her hands on her hips. Short, curvy. She has dark-tan skin and kinky black hair that cascades down either side of her round face. Her white t-shirt has a cartoon rabbit flipping me the middle finger. Charming. “I think I’m in the wrong place,” I say. She laughs. “I think you might be too. Where are you supposed to be?” “Maple Hall,” I say. “But…” She doesn’t let me finish, saying: “Well, that’s where you are.” “Y-yes, I know. But… This is a women’s dorm, right?” “Sure is.” “Well they assigned me a room here and…” She chuckles and reaches to the paper in my hand, pulling it out from my grip before I can stop her. She looks it over, her eyes growing big with both surprise and amusement.  “Well here’s the problem,” she says, pointing to my name. “I think they gave you the wrong paper. This here says that this room assignment is for someone named Courtney.” “Right. But, uhm, that’s me.” “Uh… Oh.” Her cheeks get a little rosy and she hands the paper back to me.  “I’m just going to go and get this sorted out and…” “Well, hold up,” she says. “They do this sometimes. Like, if all the men’s dorms for freshmen are filled, they’ll just put you wherever there’s space. It happened to this girl Stephanie last semester–she had to stay in the men’s dorms for a few months.” “Really?” “But, like, they didn’t give her a roommate. She had a whole room to herself.” “What about, like, bathrooms?”  She shrugs. “I mean, this is a women’s dorm, but there’s still a men’s room. You’ll probably piss off a few of the women who use it when the ladies room is too busy, but that’s not really your problem.” I have no idea how to respond to that, so I just bite my lip and shrug. “So…you don’t think I should go run this by the office?” “I say you go up to your room and find out who your RA is. They’ll tell you what to do.” “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” I say. I briefly think about my old resident advisor, from my last college. Derek. He was an ass–just as complicit as the guys who were always pestering me. “Room 322 right?” she asks.  I nod. “Then we’re practically neighbors. I’m in 307. Well…we’re on the same floor at least.” “That’s, uh, great.” “C’mon, Courtney. I’ll show you where your room is!” “It’s just Court,” I say. How many more times am I going to have to say that today? “I’m Hiral,” the girl says. “It’s nice to meet you!” 3. Room 322 is at the very end of the hall on the third floor, down a long corridor that feels a little detached from everything else. We do pass a men’s restroom, but it’s a pretty long hike from where my room is. I can already just imagine how awkward that’d be if I’m really expected to stay in this room–having to walk all the way there and back every single day when I so much as want to brush my teeth. I can already see the other girls on the floor, smirking at me as I walk past them. Well, I think, you won’t be needing the bathroom as much as everyone else… I choke that thought down for now. One thing at a time. “Alright, well, here’s your room,” Hiral says, pointing at the door with her open hand like she’s the host of a game show and is offering me the grand prize. “Maybe,” I say, still expecting this assignment not to stick. “You should talk to the RA,” she says. “I don’t know who that is.” “Over on this end of the floor, I think it’s, uh, Carmen. If you want, I can go get her.” “N-no, that’s okay. Maybe if you just tell me where her room is, I’ll go talk to her myself and…” “Wait right there,” she says, clearly not listening to a word I’m saying. “I’ll go get Carmen for you!”  Before I can stop her, she’s already jogging down the hallway. All I can do is sigh and look back at the door to the room. Unlike the other doors in this hallway, decorated with dry erase boards, posters, stickers, and other personalized effects, this door remains blank and undecorated.  Maybe I really would have this room all to myself. Honestly, that wouldn’t be too bad at all. That would actually be ideal–saving me from the humiliation of having to explain myself to a new roommate. I put my hand on the doorknob and turn it. It isn’t locked, so I push the door open and step inside. “O-oh my god,” says a girl sitting at the head of a bed, staring right at me. Her back is propped up against the headboard, her legs are open wide. Between her legs, there’s someone else–someone with a lot of red hair. I can’t be completely sure what’s happening, but given the proximity of the redhead’s face to the sitting-up girl’s crotch, I can make a few assumptions. “Who the fuck are you?” I quickly slam the door shut before I realize that I’ve shut the door behind me–sealing myself into the room with them, instead of going back into the hallway. “Uh… Jeez, I’m really sorry,” I stammer. “I’ll, uh, get out of your way and…” I reach for the doorknob again, ready to let myself out. “Don’t open that door again,” the sitting-up girl says. “Just…maybe, lock it?” I turn around, keeping my back to them and lock the door. “I’m not going to look, okay?” The sitting-up girl sighs, and I hear some commotion as the two bodies flail about behind me. “Okay, so who the fuck are you?” the girl asks. “I, uh, thought this was my dorm room.” Someone laughs, though I don’t know which of them it is. “I think you got the wrong room, pal. I am supposed to have a new roommate, but she’s a chick.” I swallow hard, already worried I know the answer: “And…what was your new roommate’s name?” “Courtney Something-or-Other?” I sigh. “Yeah…that’s me.” More laughter. Both of them are laughing now. “Shit. That’s you? Your name is Courtney?” “It’s, like, a family name,” I sigh. There was a time in my life where I accepted that explanation. But it sounds more ridiculous to me everytime I say it these days. “But…yeah. That’s me. I’m Courtney. But I just go by Court.” “Why?” the girl asks, while the other giggles. “Courtney is such a pretty name.” And so it starts–the mocking. This was how it started at the last school too, though I guess it’s a little different now that it’s a girl teasing me instead of a group of guys. “We’re dressed now,” she says. “You can turn around if you want to.” The girl who was sitting up is now sitting on the edge of the bed, arms nonchalantly folded in her lap. Saying that she’s ‘dressed’ is a little misleading, because all she’s wearing is a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and a pair of black panties. Her thick brown hair is pulled back into a ponytail that’s draped over her shoulder.  Standing at the foot of the bed is the redhead–another girl. She adjusts the glasses on her freckled face before pulling at her brown skirt to let it stretch down her thighs as it should. “So I guess I’m, like, your roommate,” the dark-haired girl says. “I’m Billie.” “That’s kind of funny,” the redhead says. “He’s a boy and his name is Courtney. And you’re a girl and your–” “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Billie says to her. “Why don’t you let, uh, Court and I talk this out, okay? I’ll meet up with you later. “Okay, sure,” the girl says with a shrug. She wipes her mouth with the back of her wrist, maybe wiping away the last remnants of Billie before playfully skipping to the door, unlocking it again, and letting herself out and closing the door behind her. “That’s Zoey,” Billie says to me, once it’s just the two of us. “Is she your, uh, girlfriend?” Billie chortles into her hand. “No way. I mean, she’s fun. But…” I shrug. “It’s none of my business.” “So, Court, huh?” “Uh, yeah.” “I bet you get a lot of shit for your name.” “You could say that.” She shrugs. “Kinda relatable. I mean, it’s probably worse for a guy with a name like that than it is for me. But I’ve gotten my share of jokes about Billie.” “Yeah…” I feel my cheeks warming. It’s dawning on me that I’m alone with this girl in a closed room. She’s pretty. Not just pretty-because-she’s-a-girl, but genuinely pretty. Pretty, like, you could put her in a room with a hundred other girls, and she’d probably be in the top 10 most attractive. It’s more than just her face, it’s how she carries herself–the way she exudes confidence. That smile. Jesus. I change the subject: “I think there was a mistake. I don’t think I’m supposed to be in this dorm room. They probably just saw my name and assumed, you know?” “I kind of hope it’s not a mistake,” she says with a shrug. “Female roommates suck. Or, like, maybe other girls just annoy me or something? You look like a pretty chill guy.” I shrug. “Uh…I guess?” “Tell me about yourself. What do you like? What do you do?” “Well, uhm, I like to draw. I like video games. I, uh…read a lot of books.” “Are you one of those quiet-types? Are you an introvert?” I laugh a little. “Yes.” “See, that sounds perfect for me. You’d be over on your side of the room, doing your little nerdy things…” “Hey…” “...and you wouldn’t be bothering me. And in return, I’d stay out of your face and let you do whatever you wanted to.” She sighs. “If you ask me, we’re better off not reporting this to anyone. We should just let this be our little secret and stick with it.” “Well…” I point over my shoulder to the door. “I ran into this other girl, Hiral? And…” Billie sighs. “Hiral? Shit.” “I mean, she seems nice.” “She’s a little chatterbox. She’ll say anything to anyone. Probably half the building knows you’re here now. Does she know that you were assigned this room?” “Well…yeah. She went to get the RA.” “Shit.” And with that, there’s a knock at the door. 4. Carmen’s tall, narrow body stands in the doorway of the room, her radiant blonde hair bouncing behind her as she stares down at the room assignment on the paper I was given. “I called down to Student Services when Hiral told me,” she says. I glance over to Billie, and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “What’d they say?” I ask. “I don’t think you’re going to like this answer,” Carmen shrugs. “But you might just have to deal with it for a little while.” “What do you mean?” “It was a misunderstanding that got you assigned to this dorm. But there’s also nowhere else to put you right now. All the mens’ rooms are occupied. The only vacancies are in the women’s dorms.” “Oh…” I look at Billie again, and she’s got a celebratory smile on her face. “But, look, they’re going to try and do something for you,” Carmen says. “They might just put another bed in a room with two other guys. Or they might have you wait a week or two and see if a bed opens up in the men' s dorm. You’d be surprised how often someone just flakes out at the start of a new semester.” I feel my cheeks warming again. “So…until then?” “Until then, I’ve been advised that this is your dorm room. I get that this might be less than ideal for you, so I do have a proposition for you.” “Okay?” “As the Resident Assistant, I get a room to myself. I could let you take my room, and then I could stay in here with Billie.” “Y-you’d do that?” I ask. “I think the important thing here is that everyone is comfortable,” Carmen says. “This would be good for you and I’m sure Billie would like it too.” “A-actually,” Billie says to Carmen. “Would you mind if I have a minute or two to talk to Court?” “Sure, I guess,” she says. “I’m going to go back to my room. Why don’t you two come find me when you’re ready and we can figure out what we’re going to do, okay?” No sooner than Carmen is walking down the hallway, Billie shuts the door and locks it again. “Look, you’ve got to stay here, okay? I need you to be my roommate.” “Me? But…I’m a guy? You’re a girl? And Carmen said she’d-” “Oh, grow up, Court. It’s not like we’re going to be sitting around touching each other’s privates while learning about the birds and the bees. I can keep my hands off of you. Surely you can do the same for me, right?” “Well…yeah, of course. But…” “I can’t have Carmen as my roommate, Court. She’s an RA. I don’t care how cool she seems–she’s an authority figure, you know? I’ll have to hide all my edibles. I won’t be able to sneak in bottles of alcohol. I won’t be able to have Zoey come over and, uh…you know…” I sigh. “I mean…I guess. But…” “Come on, man. Please? What do you want? A blow job? I’ll suck your cock right now if that’s all it’ll take for you to tell her that you’d rather room with me.” So much for her promise of not touching my ‘privates.’  “N-no! You don’t have to…do that.” “What, you don’t think I’m good enough to suck you off?” I sigh. “That’s not what I said.” She smirks. “I’m fucking with you. Wasn’t that fun? We can joke like that all the time if we live together.” “I just, uhm…” I sigh, looking down at my suitcase sitting near my feet. “I was kind of hoping for a room by myself, you know? I kind of need it.” She scoffs. “Need? For what?” “Just…personal things.” She laughs. “You don’t think I have ‘personal things’ too? Every month I bleed like a stuck pig. I’m always fucking horny. I get ornery if I don’t vape weed at least once a day. Whatever your ‘personal things’ are, I assure you that I can deal with them.” I sigh. I wish I could believe that, but I think my ‘things’ aren’t anything like what she’s expecting them to be. “Come on,” she says. “Out with it. What’s your deal, huh? Let’s just put it all out there. You tell me what your ‘personal things’ are and I’ll tell you if it’s something I can deal with or not. If I can’t, you can have Carmen’s room all to yourself and we’ll never talk about it again.” “I dunno…” “Just say it, Court.” Maybe she’s right. As much as I don’t want to talk about it, it’s probably better that I put it out there. If this leads to me getting a room by myself, that’s probably for the best. And if, by some weird chance, we were to be roommates, she’d probably need to know at some point anyway. “Fine. So, uhm… I wear diapers.” 5. Billie just stares at me for a moment, her eyes squinted. “I’m sorry…what was that?” “Diapers,” I repeat.  For the record, I probably don’t have to call them ‘diapers.’ They’re ‘adult incontinence briefs,’ or so says the package they come in. Yes, these are the ‘maximum protection’ ones that look a lot like the diapers that a baby might wear–just bigger. But I’ve found them to be the most effective against leaks. Ultimately, it’s just easier to describe them to someone as ‘diapers,’ even though the word never fails to make me feel stupid and humiliated. “Is that, like, a joke?” “I wish it was.” “You wear them?” “Right.” “All the time? Are you wearing them right now?” “N-no. I only wear them at night. I…sometimes have accidents when I sleep. She mulls this over for a moment. “So, like, you just wake up…wet sometimes?” “Yeah,” I say. “But, like, you don’t need help with them or anything?” “Help?” She sighs. “Like, you’re not asking me to–I dunno–change your diapers or anything?” “What? No! I’d never ask you to do that. I don’t want you to do that, either.” Billie shrugs. “Alright. I mean, that seems fine by me, then.” “Seriously?” “Sure. I mean, it sounds like it doesn’t have to be my problem. And, you know, I can keep it all hush-hush. Nobody has to know, and you have a little sanctuary to do whatever you have to do.” “But…don’t you think it makes more sense for me to have my own room?” I say. “Somewhere where I can take care of my, uh, needs in privacy?” “Court, I swear, you can have all the goddamn privacy you need in this room. You can have anything you want. But please don’t make me live with Carmen and have to give up all the things I love about college. I know I said I was joking about the blow job, but I’ll fucking do it. I’ll do anything. I’ll change your diapers for you if you want me to. Please just stay in this room with me.” “Y-you don’t have to do anything like that,” I say, my face getting good and hot as I briefly imagine Billie looking down on me as she opens up my wet diaper for me in the morning so that she can change it. It’s a very naughty thought, and one I quickly brush away. “But you’ll room with me, right?” she asks. I sigh. “If it means that much to you…” She bounds over to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my body. “I already love you, Court. Would it be weird if I kissed you on the mouth?” “Yes…” “Okay, well I won’t. Unless…you want me to?” “I think we’re good…” “Look, I’m going to go tell Carmen, okay? You might as well start unpacking your stuff, roomie.” With that, she’s out the door and marching down the hallway. And not a second too soon. I see my face in the mirror mounted on the closet door, and it’s bright red. Too, I can feel an erection forming in my pants. If the offer to change my diaper hadn’t turned me on, the offer to kiss me had absolutely done the trick. I can’t believe I really agreed to this. I had every opportunity to make a choice that was better for me, and yet I’m still somehow going to be rooming with a cute girl who describes herself as ‘horny.’ What even is my life right now? 6. The deed is done, and it’s settled. Carmen has agreed, for now, to allow Billie and I to room together–at least until someone from the school administration office says otherwise.  I made the decision to leave the room somewhere after that conversation, feeling so overwhelmed that I needed some fresh air to clear my head. I ended up taking the rest of the day to myself–mostly just exploring the campus and getting acquainted with where things are. After a filling dinner at the cafeteria, I finally return to my room–having to venture through the lobby, the elevator, and then my hallway while female students smirk at me and whisper to each other about what I might be doing in Maple Hall. I’m relieved to find that I have the room to myself. Maybe Billie’s gone out for dinner herself? I’d love to know how much time I have before she comes back. I take my suitcase from the floor and put it on top of my bed, opening it up so I can start digging through my things. I find what I’m looking for towards the bottom–well buried beneath all my other clothes. A white disposable diaper. Normally, I wouldn’t put this on until much later–usually just before I go to bed. But I’m not going to walk all the way to the men’s room–which I’m still not 100% sure of the location of–with a diaper in my hand, and I’m not going to change into this thing while Billie’s in the room. This might be the last chance that I get for some privacy. I’d be wearing a diaper for a lot longer than I need to be, but maybe that’s just the way it’s going to have to be tonight. I quickly take off my jeans and boxers, noting the slightest yellow stain in the front of them. I sigh and shake my head–daytime accidents don’t often happen, but they’re not impossible either. Sometimes I leak a little even when I don’t realize it–and it seems to happen more often when I’m either stressed or aroused. It’s almost guaranteed to happen when I feel both at the same time. I wonder when this particular stain formed. Was it here in this room, while I was meeting Billie for the first time? Wow, that would’ve been such a terrible introduction if I had a full-on pissy pants. I open up the diaper, lay it flat on the bed, and lower myself onto it. I shouldn’t get too comfortable with this method, I think–I’ll probably have to get used to diapering myself in a cramped men’s bathroom stall again.  There’s a brief moment, lying on the bed with the front of the diaper pulled up through my thighs, that I think about Mom. A weird time to be thinking about her, I guess. But she was the only one who did this for me for a long time. Probably longer than she should’ve, if we’re being honest. Even though I’ve been putting myself in my nighttime diaper for four or five years now, I still get nostalgic for the days when she took care of this for me.  My eyes water a little as a feeling of loneliness settles over me. Yet again, I find myself in a weird new place where I don’t know anyone else. Yet again, I’m worried that the wrong person is going to find out about my diapers. Is Billie the wrong person? Can I trust her? I really hope so. I don’t think I have the strength to go through all that teasing again. I pull the tapes tightly into place on either side of the diaper’s front, sealing myself inside of it. Sitting up, the plastic-backed padding crinkles loudly. I really need to invest in something…quieter. Maybe I’ll send a text to Mom later, asking if she can find another option and bring it up with the rest of my stuff. I slip into some baggy sweatpants–which usually do an okay job of muffling the sound of what’s underneath them, and put my suitcase into my closet. Maybe I’ll just park myself on my bed and read one of the books I brought with me for the rest of the night. The timing works out perfectly. No sooner than I’ve got my book open on my lap, the door opens and Billie strolls into the room, closing the door behind her. She tosses her purse down on the ground next to where she kicks her shoes off and walks right past my bed like she doesn’t even realize I’m there. It’s only after a few moments pass that she laughs and spins around to look at me. “Ah, shit. I forgot I have a roommate now,” she says. “That’s going to take some getting used to.” “Uh, yeah,” I shrug. “And a boy at that,” she smirks. “You know, I’ve never lived with a boy before. Besides, like, my dad. But I don’t think that’s the same thing.” “Never? You don’t have any brothers?” She rolls her eyes. Two older sisters, can you believe that shit? Three teenage girls under one roof?” I do have an older sister, though she had a good ten-year head start on me when I was born. By the time I was a teenager myself, she was already out of the house. Still, between TV, movies, and the whole high school experience itself, I feel like I have a good idea what kind of hell it’d be to have so many teenage girls together in a confined place. “Sounds…like a lot,” I say. She laughs. “That’s putting it mildly. It wasn’t a normal day if one of us wasn’t threatening the lives of another sister.” I grimace a little.  She playfully waves a defensive hand in front of her. “Nobody ever got murdered, though. We get along better now that we don’t live together. Funny how that works, right?” “I guess.” “Well, uh, look,” she says, shrugging. “I’m going to change out of these clothes and slip into something a little more comfortable.” She giggles to herself. “Try not to get too excited–it’s just some pajama pants and a t-shirt.” “R-right. Whatever you need to do to be cozy. I’ll, uh, look away, okay?” She shrugs again. “It’s going to be a pretty rough few months if we’re always looking away from each other, isn’t it? I don’t want to make this a whole thing, okay? I’m just going to get dressed and undressed like I always do. You can look or not look or whatever you want. Just don’t, like, be a creep, okay?” “I-I won’t be a creep.” “I’m just kidding, Court. I know you’re not a creep. And, look, that goes both ways, okay? I don’t want you thinking that you can’t be yourself around me. You can change around me. You can, like, burp or fart if you have to. Whatever you need to do to be yourself, you should just do it.” “Noted,” I say. I can’t ever imagine myself farting in front of her though. She wouldn’t do that around me, would she? “Like, I know you’ve got your diapers, right?” she asks. “Uh, yeah?” “I’m just saying–don’t feel weird about putting them on around me. We’ve got to get used to these things, you know? “Easier said than done...” “Or, if you need me to step out into the hallway for a few minutes while you do your thing, just say so.” As she’s talking, she nonchalantly lowers her black pants to the ground, revealing the pastel pink panties she’s wearing underneath. I quickly look away, though I’ve already seen just about everything there is to see. “Like…you probably have to put one on tonight, right? Do you need me to leave you alone for a few?” “I, uh…already took care of that.” I’m still looking away from her, though I can still see the blurry shape of her body out of the corner of my eye. She’s standing straight up, still pantsless, hands on her hips. “Really? You’re, uh, wearing one right now?” “Y-yeah…” I can tell that she wants to say something, maybe ask some questions, but she keeps it to herself. I get the feeling that this is very hard for her. “Go ahead,” I sigh. “If you’ve got, like, questions or comments, you might as well just get them out of your system.” “Well, uh, let’s say that I don’t have any questions, per se…” “Okay?” “What if I just want, uhm…” I barely know Billie, but I already get the feeling that she’s not one to have her tongue tied often. This must mean that she wants something especially ridiculous. “Yes?” I sigh. “Look, we’re going to be living with each other for a little bit, right? Maybe it’s best if we just, you know, get all the mystery over and done with.” “What, exactly, are you asking?” “I’m just saying, you might as well show me your diaper now and get it over with.” I open my mouth, ready to tell her that she’s crazy, and that there’s no way I’d agree to that, but there’s a small part of myself that knows she’s right. Maybe we’d both benefit from having the presence of my diapers be a little more…normalized?  “You really want to see my diaper?” She nods her head. “I promise, I won’t take a picture of it or anything. I just want to see it. Just once.” “Just once?” I ask. “Like…we’ll do this exactly once and then you’ll never need to see it again? Over and done with?” “Over and done with,” she repeats, nodding her head. I sigh again, rolling my eyes. “Fine. Let’s just…get this over with.”  I slide off the bed and step between her bed and mine. She, meanwhile, has reached for her pajama pants, but she still hasn’t put them on. She’s just standing there, holding her pants while her panties are on full display to me. “No jokes or anything like that,” I say. “It’s bad enough that I have to wear these things in the first place. I don’t need you making me feel bad about them.” “Right,” she says, nodding. “I’ll behave myself. Promise.” My hands hanging at my side, hovering just next to the waistband of my sweatpants, I feel like a cowboy in a western–waiting for the call to draw my guns. Twice I move to start pulling down my pants, only to hesitate and stop myself. This is a lot harder than I thought it’d be. Besides my mother–and that one embarrassing weekend with my Aunt Mel and cousin Penny–nobody else has ever seen, or knows about, my diapers.  “Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Billie says. With one last sigh, I close my eyes and give my pants a good downward tug. Here we go.  Sure enough, Billie giggles. I can’t even be mad about it–this is how I’d expect anybody to react. “I…I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m not laughing at you.” “You sure about that?” I feel my face getting warm. “It’s just…they’re, like, cuter than I thought they’d be.” “C-cute?” It’s the last word I expected to hear her use, and it makes my face feel even warmer. I immediately pull up my sweatpants again. “It’s not a bad thing,” she says. “Honest.” “Well, uh, thanks. But…that’s the whole show. Is that out of your system now?” “Yes,” she says, nodding. “Court?” “Yeah?” “Seriously, thank you for showing me. That was cool of you.” 7. The rest of the evening passes by without much excitement. I manage to get a little reading in, though it’s a little more challenging than I’d like, as my attention was competing with the sound of Billie’s phone–blasting out snippets of out-of-context music and dialog sporadically. In her defense, she does ask me at one point if she’s being too loud, and I told her that she’s not. Maybe I’m going to need to learn to be a little more honest in the days and weeks to come, but that can be something I work on later. Finally, the lights are out, and we’re lying in our respective beds, waiting for sleep to come.  What a day. “I still owe you,” Billie says from her bed. “Hm?” “For staying here with me instead of switching rooms with Carmen? I owe you.” “It’s really not a big deal,” I say. “You don’t owe me anything.” “I do,” she says. “I totally do. I’m telling you–whatever you want. You want me to suck you off? Rub your dick a little? Want to make out? Need me to, like, change your diaper or something? Say the word and, I swear, I’ll take good care of you.” “That’s, uh, very sweet of you,” I say. “But you really don’t need to do anything like that for me.” “Just think about it, okay? Just, like, keep it in the back of your mind or something.” “Uh…sure.” “Goodnight, Court.” “Goodnight, Billie.” As I begin to drift off to sleep, I have visions of Billie hovering over me in my bed–her hands reaching down and opening my diaper so that she can change me. That does seem kind of nice. Not that I’ll ever actually have the guts to take her up on her offer. It’s been a weird day. All the days are going to be pretty weird for a while, I think.