2011

I started bedwetting training a little under 2 months ago and I've already started to see some very encouraging results! If I'm drunk before I go to bed, I now seem to consistently wet myself without waking up. Other than a few times at university, this never used to happen to me. More interestingly, I've now wet myself twice in the last two days without waking up while sober - for the first time since I was a kid. Very curious if the same will happen again tonight and continue further into this week.  I really didn't think things would progress this quickly, but I'm excited about it and hopeful I'll continue to see progress. 

Hello! Anyone close to Gothenburg? /ElDesconocido

Nice. I like the slow pace you are keeping with this.

65. Exactly As Planned Tess had been nervous and confused when she got off the bus in the morning. She felt like she needed more time to think, to clear away the traces of little headspace and whatever had followed it. But as soon as Spike greeted her, and Mindy stormed off like a toddler in a tantrum, she couldn’t worry. He had changed the subject immediately, gushing with relief that Nik was back to his usual bubbly self, and then talking about some random video that everybody was laughing at online. Ten minutes later Tess barely remembered what they’d been talking about, but she knew how it had made her feel. She was safe and comfortable; nobody was challenging her and there was no need to defend her opinions. That was worth more than any amount of insightful comment. Spike always knew exactly what to say to get her to stop worrying. She wished he could have been with her for the rest of the day, when there was plenty to worry about. Like when Mr Minchin gave them what was practically a day off, and advised the whole class to spend their lesson time studying. They were having a mini exam on Thursday, he said, and he wanted to be sure that everyone would pass. Tess had never been the best, and she didn’t think that Gabby would be able to study with her if they were only given two days to prepare. Especially not when one of those nights was going to be taken up with a trip to the cinema. Their lunch break was sure to be the least stressful time of the day, but Tess spent the half hour before worrying about things that she never expected to be a real problem. The issue here was that on Friday night, Spike had suggested they invite Evan and Kim to join them to see Shiroyamanomusuko at the Regal, so they could avoid the pressure of it obviously feeling like a date. On Saturday morning, when they had spoken on Clatter, they’d agreed it was probably the best idea, even if they’d both been dancing around not mentioning the reason, in between Tess’s awkward failure to explain her disappearance the night before. She’d been more than a little tense, but Spike was gracious enough not to push for an answer. The problem was that she’d also said she would pass the invitation on to Kim. And then when the girls were hanging around Raybridge Collier’s Park on Sunday afternoon, the conversations had been so varied that she’d always had something else to say. Could she tell Spike that she’d forgotten to ask her friend? Would he take her uncharacteristic carelessness, along with her running off without explanation, that she wasn’t as interested as she said? Or could she ask her friend to join them on a double date, inviting her boyfriend and changing other plans, when there was only an afternoon left to plan? It turned out that she could. She started by showing Kim and Liz the trailer on her phone over lunch. It had Chinese subtitles, but she still said it looked dramatic. “Well, it’s on at the Regal in Upper Ashfields now,” she said, just bringing it up as if it were a spur of the moment thing. “We’re thinking of seeing it tonight, and Spike thought it looks like something Evan would go for, so we were going to suggest…” “Looks pretty neat,” Liz nodded, clearly showing some enthusiasm. And then there was a flicker of glances, unspoken messages across the table, and a cue that Tess didn’t quite catch. “You guys should totally check it out. It would be fun.” Kim nodded and said she’d let Evan know. Tess looked at her friends, and was surprised at how simple that had been. Liz had seemed interested, and then uninvited herself without a word. Maybe Tess’s intentions were more transparent than she realised; and she hoped that wouldn’t create even more pressure for Spike to live up to some imaginary ideal of how he was supposed to feel. There were still classes in the afternoon, and most of the teachers still thought it was worth trying to teach a normal lesson. The winter break hadn’t started yet, they said, and they didn’t want to see people getting ready to relax a week early, or hanging tree decorations in their hair in accordance with the capricious whims of fashion. Tess did her best to pay attention; she wanted to do well in school so that she could go to a good university and get a good job. But today, there were too many thoughts on her mind and she found that she just couldn’t focus. The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough, and even a brief meeting with Miss MacManus after her last lesson seemed to drag on forever. But then she was free to check on messages from her friends, see where they were supposed to be meeting, and make a quick trip to the bathroom to change out of her school uniform. It was going to be tonight, and she couldn’t believe how much she was looking forward to it. Kim waved as soon as Tess came around the corner, beckoning her over to the bus stop. She said that the bus would probably have a couple of seats free, and that it would be the quickest way to get to Upper Ashfields. Spike turned up a few minutes later, just in time to join the queue before the bus arrived. There was no sign of Evan yet, but that was no surprise; he would probably be meeting them when they got off the bus, happy to have a date in his hometown. Tess glanced at her reflection in the bus window, glad not to see a pacifier this time. She resolved to give it back to Gabby as soon as she got home, and never to suck on the thing again unless she knew there was someone there to keep an eye on her. She blushed, both from that thought and the wave of satisfaction that flushed through her system as she saw Spike’s reflection sit down beside her. Without turning, she reached out and grabbed his hand. Not the same nervous, possibly-accidental brushing of fingers she had found last time, but actually interlocking her fingers with his and squeezing his hand. She couldn’t believe how well the day had gone, and she had every hope the evening would be even better. 66. Unexpectedly as Planned As they left the school, before they dived into whatever long conversation would keep on popping up through the evening, Spike pulled his phone from his pocket. He had a message, and Tess could see his face light up as he read what was written there. Something had made him smile, and a part of her wondered if he would be so happy on receiving a message from her. “Something good?” she asked. “Yes,” he said with a vigorous nod. “That was from Ffrances, about something I asked. I think running into her was the best luck I could have hoped for. I wanted to know if I could have a letter sent to me at her office, so my family don’t see it. To avoid conflict.” “I’m sure I could have helped with that,” she smiled. “Unless it’s something, like, confidential.” “Not confidential, just official. A hospital is one of the few exceptions that lets you use an address that isn’t your home. See… I’m applying for a passport. A birthday present to myself, really. Of course, you need a reputable person in good standing to sign to say that your picture is actually you, like a teacher, lawyer, or doctor. I asked Ffrances to help with that too. And I need a parent’s signature, but I can forge Shawna’s well enough, and she’ll never be able to remember if it’s something she signed or not. So it’s like the last pieces are just slotting into place.” “Planning to go overseas?” “No. But sometimes it would help to have one. It’s just… I’ve got a problem I’m a bit embarrassed about, okay? I think it would be easier to talk about once it’s sorted, and getting a passport is a first step.” “Awww, and I was hoping you might be going to give me a surprise visit in San Lorenzo.” She was sure that a light-hearted comment should be the best thing to say here. But when she felt his hand tighten around hers, and saw the surprise, she knew she had missed something. “You’re going away?” “I have to. They want to see me for Christmas. It’s a family thing, you know? I could stay here so I’m not interrupting my studies, but they still want to see me when I haven’t got an excuse to stay.” “Holidays are important,” he said with a smile. “And if there was any way I could join you, you know I would. Just… for a second I worried you were leaving after all, despite all the effort to stay. I feel insecure when I think that. Like I’m worrying how long you will be here. Until the end of the year? Until you graduate? Without your parents, there’s less of an anchor to stay around.” “Is that something… you thought about?” Tess couldn’t stop her mind racing now. She didn’t exactly have her adult life all planned out; there was always time for things to change. And she had avoided thinking about a time in the future where her friends weren’t all together. But she could see how she wouldn’t be the only one worried when her parents moved. To Spike, and all her friends, it would be a reminder that graduation day was less than two years away. That their friends would be travelling to so many different places. Was that something that Spike was especially concerned by, worried that he’d be left without connections if he lost contact with his friends? Or was it, perhaps, just Tess that he was frightened of losing. “No,” she answered herself. “All kinds of deep thoughts come when we start talking about that, and I don’t want to be navel-gazing. Not on your birthday. We should be having fun. And if I have to leave, like after high school, or after college, then you’ll be leaving too. So who can be sure we won’t end up walking in the same direction. Whatever path you take, there’ll be someone going the same way. So don’t start thinking about what might happen, or who we’re going to be in the future. Remember how hard I tried to stay here, so I can be with people I care about? Even in a couple of years, I won’t let go of my friends without a fight.” “Well said,” he chuckled. “For someone who doesn’t want to think about it, you’ve got a pretty deep streak.” “And you’re seriously talking about time and distance coming between you?” Kim’s voice cut in from the seat behind them. “When you barely even realised you’re a couple?” “We’re not–” Tess started to respond automatically, and then realised that she had no idea if Spike had meant her to understand that they were. There had to be a better way to express it. “…Not quite sure what we are yet.” Then the seriousness evaporated completely, as someone quoted an iconic line from some movie they’d seen a couple of years back, and that set someone else off, riffing on their shared experience. Tess wasn’t sure afterwards who had started it; it could have been Spike with his incredible talent for doing all the voices, but whoever it was she was grateful. There was a limit to how much time they could spend talking about things they had no answer to, and a protracted volley of memes was precisely the right break. “… but before I kill you, Mister Bond, I must show you a midget having a–” “Iris Lane!” “No, pretty sure it’s a midget.” “No, Iris Lane. We’re here!” Kim pointed out of the bus window, and they could see the signs coming up. This wasn’t where they had got off the bus the last time Tess came here, but Kim probably knew the area better. She was already gathering up her bags, and Tess and Spike quickly followed. They did their best not to bang into anyone else as they ran for the door, and then disembarked to the sound of the doors hissing closed behind them. As if there was any doubt they were in the right place, Evan was leaning against the nearest wall. “Missed you,” he said. “Not as much as I missed you.” “Sure? I missed you about sixty-thousand times.” “Then you’re a lousy shot. Anyway… I think we were going to hit Pasta Buffet. Should be just enough time before the movie, right?” “Yeah,” Tess nodded. “I’m looking forward to it so much.” “Well…” Evan mumbled, and for a moment looked like he was either too embarrassed to speak, or had forgotten what he intended to say. Then he beckoned Kim to one side, and whispered something which made her laugh for a moment. She kept on smiling, but there were signs that there was a big question in there somewhere. “Okay,” Kim nodded, and turned back to Tess. “Okay guys, think we might have a change of plan, if you don’t mind too badly. Evan’s parents have been making plans. They want to meet me, he says. And he skimmed over the message where I said this was a double date, so he–” “It’s not a date!” Tess’s embarrassment answered for her, before her brain could get a word in. “Oh, yeah. But they’re making dinner for us, so it would be rude to back out now. So… would you mind terribly if the two of us skip the Buffet? We’ll try to catch you later, right? And if not, enjoy the movie. We can do this next time.” “Oh, sure,” Tess nodded. “I don’t want to get in the way of your plans. Enjoy your dinner, right? And look forward to next time.” There were more than the usual number of embarrassed coughs as the planned party split up and began to walk in opposite directions; and then even more embarrassment as Evan ran over to tell Spike and Tess that they were about to take the wrong path. But after a little back-and-forth there were two groups of two, heading off towards two meals that were sure to have moments of awkwardness, but also enough acceptance to make all the effort worthwhile.

I'm a little and I'm looking for people near me that might be interested in meeting up sometime. I'm super introverted, but trying to force myself to be more social. I'm open to pretty much anything, but I would like someone around my age. I'd love to make friends that share or at least don't judge my lifestyle. I live with family still, because even a studio apartment is expensive af now unfortunately.