2011

Thank you for the tip o the top hat! Very willy waddler of you! Without confirming or denying anyone's guesses... Here's the next chapter!   Chapter 6: Marketing After the business with Princess Paddington, the group was only too happy to leave the changing tables and return to the Crinkle Kart for the next leg of the tour. "I just can't tell you what a great tour this is," gushed Jeeves, as they exited the testing area. "It's really quite the amazing factory!" "I'm glad you're getting into the spirit!" said Mr. Waddler. "You seemed a bit down before." "It's as if a princess-sized weight has been lifted off my chest," said Jeeves, breathing deeply. "I do believe I'd like to try one of those Waddler Deluxe diapers for myself. I've never been allowed to, being a servant and all. The princess said it would degrade her, so she badgered the king until he passed a royal decree restricting them to the aristocracy!" "A crinkly caste system? That simply won't do," said Mr. Waddler as the kart stopped on another large lift. "My philosophy is that our diapers are for everyone! We'll be sure to get you in one as soon as we can. Now, hold onto your diapers folks! Next stop, the marketing department." Arriving on the first floor, the group found themselves in a lively office environment where Crinkle Winkles in business suits sat around big conference tables discussing advertisements in animated fashion. Each desk had holographic projections of ads, graphs, numbers, and other data, changing in real time. And that was just the beginning. "Once a product is ready for the market, we have to let everyone know all about it," said Mr. Waddler. "That's where our Willy Waddler marketing strategy comes in, and it's all done in-house! Over there in the social media center, we track the performance of the ad campaigns you know and love, but this is where the real magic happens. It all starts at the discussion table, where-" "Social media center?!" yelled Russell, jumping out of the crinkle kart in the middle of Mr. Waddler's speech and making a beeline toward a wall of screens at the other end of the office. "Alright... well, I was going to explain the planning process first," said Mr. Waddler, clearly annoyed, "but I guess we could look at the social media center." "Is that Sam Streamer on the screen over there?" asked Russell as he pointed at a display featuring a prank influencer waddling around in giant diapers. "Sure is," said the supervising Crinkle Media Winkle. "Sam's about to drop a surprise promotion on stream, and he's not the only one! We’ve got twenty-five promos running at the same time for our 'Wow-'Em With Waddlers' campaign alone!" Russell was salivating at the sight of so many streamers as his eyes darted between streams. The Waddler brand ambassadors covered every niche from cutesy anime girls to gamer bros, to furry vtubers. He turned to Mr. Waddler. "You said I was going to get an exclusive promo deal after the tour, right?" "You sure will," said Mr. Waddler, with an enigmatic grin, "perhaps sooner than you think!" Something told Charlie that there was more to this arrangement than Mr. Waddler was letting on. "Believe it or not there are a few exclusives coming up that you will be able to report on soon, like our new mascot, for example." "No way! Really? A new mascot?" asked Russell, his eyes shining. "I’ve got to see!" Mr. Waddler chuckled at the superficial streamer's sudden enthusiasm. "Oh you do, do you? Sure, why not? Follow me, folks!" Mr. Waddler walked the group to a side room with a 'Top Secret' sign taped to the door. Inside, a recording studio was set up, complete with a smartphone stand, lighting, and green screen. Hanging on a wardrobe rack nearby was the main attraction: a shiny blue latex kangaroo suit. A cartoony kangaroo head with big, smiling eyes and a pointed nose was sitting on a table nearby, just waiting to be worn. "OMG! Who is this?" asked Russell with absolute glee as he picked up the head. "Everyone, it is my pleasure to introduce you to our new mascot: Crinkles the Kangaroo!" said Mr. Waddler. "You're the first members of the public to lay eyes on him. How's that for an exclusive?" "Wow! How long have you been sitting on this one?" asked Charlie, already falling in love with the happy smiling character. "Crinkles has been months in development, and we've only just finalized him. This suit has tons of hidden tech from cutting edge fursuit makers around the world. He's the closest thing to a real life cartoon you'll ever see!" "When does he drop?" asked Russell. "I could lowkey put him on my stream or something." "We're ready to start rolling with Crinkles right now," said Mr. Waddler, "we just haven't found the right person to play him yet." "No shot!" chirped Russell. "He looks like he would fit me perfectly. OMG, what if I wore him on stream and made everyone think I was a furry! Could you imagine the numbers that would do? It would be epic!" "I’m afraid that’s not possible," said Mr. Waddler. "You see, playing Crinkles is a permanent position. There can only be one Crinkles, so unless you're ready to commit to being Crinkles for good, it's a no go!" "L take, bro! We could farm so much engagement out of this prank. With all those eyes on him, you'd find your mascot performer in like two seconds! Deadass!" "No." said Mr. Waddler, firmly. "Playing Crinkles isn't just some 'bit'. It's a permanent position and not to be taken lightly. Now, come along everyone, we’ve much more to explore in the wonderful world of marketing and no time to dilly dally!" Next to the recording room was a screening room where a test audience watched ads and pitches. On screen, a diapered actor was demonstrating the special features of Willy Waddler Wands while Crinkle Winkle scientists monitored real-time computer readouts from behind darkened glass. "Our Crinkle Neurowinkle Scientists analyze the brainwaves of each audience member to test techniques for effective engagement. Right now, the happy meter, heart meter, and arousal meters are all staying pretty high, so I think we have a winner!" A man jumped out of his seat and ran out of the mini theater blushing and covering his diapered crotch while a Crinkle Winkle scientist tailed him, clipboard in hand. "Oops," said Mr. Waddler, leaning over a computer monitor and tapping the screen, "looks like the guy in the third row just had a sticky accident! That's what we like to see!" The tour returned to the big conference tables where Crinkle Business Winkles were workshopping Willy Waddler's next big ads. They approached a table where several Crinkle Winkles were gesticulating toward a holographic storyboard. "Winkle Team One is looking over a mockup of our next Waddler Deluxe spot," said the eccentric entrepreneur. "Let's listen in." "I want to see more time on the diaper, and can we turn up the lighting?" said the first business Winkle. To everyone's amazement, the image of the diaper model changed in real time. "That's great, Crinkle Dink!" said the second one. "Now, let's add in Princess Paddington’s line about being cushy enough for a princess." A recording of Princes Paddington's earlier statement played over the ad accompanied by the tagline in pink cursive. "I love that, Crinkle Crink! Is there anything we can do to highlight the diaper gathers around the legs? I really want the cushy quality of the plastic to POP in this ad. Maybe get a nice zoom in on where the butt meets the back of the leg. And turn up the shadows..." The camera panned around, getting a low shot of the butt. Both Crinkle Winkles clapped. "We've done it again, Team!" "Look at that plastic pop! That's giving a nice sense of volume to the padding as well..." "Great job, Crinklers," said Mr. Waddler, clapping along with them. "That's how it's done! Can we get a camera winkle over here for a group shot?" "Crinkle Cam Winkle at your service!" said an eager Crinkle Winkle, running over with his camera phone. "My phonetography will be perfect for this!" "Perfect timing, Cam!" said Wally Waddler, "Say, Russell here recorded a few videos earlier on the tour. Do you think you could work with him to put together a video review?" "Sure thing boss," said Cam. "But uh... where is he?" "Oh, he's right here," said Mr. Waddler, gesturing to... no one. "Hold the phone... Where's Russell?" "I don't know," said Grandpa Joe. "I haven’t seen him since we left the..." Charlie, Jeeves, and Grandpa Joe looked at each other, eyes wide. "The recording room!" Everyone rushed back to find Russell wearing the kangaroo suit. He was just about to put on the head when they barged in. "Russell!" said Mr. Waddler, holding everyone back with his cane. "What are you doing?" "Hey, Wads, you're just in time! You’ll never believe it, but the suit fits perfectly! Do me a favor and check the camera angle, I can't do anything with these paws." "I know a stunt like this would literally make you a household name," said Mr. Waddler, "but I wouldn't advise you to put that head on... there's no going back if you do!" "Household name?" asked Russell. "Sold!" Before anyone could stop him, Russell lowered the smiling kangaroo head down onto his body. As soon as it settled into place, the seam disappeared, making it impossible to tell where the suit ended and the head began. Russell, A.K.A. Crinkles the Kangaroo, hopped over to the green screen and gave two thumbs up, then he made a roll video motion and pointed to the camera. Crinkle Cam Winkle hurried over to film. "Hiya! I’m Crinkles the Kangaroo!" came the muffled voice within the suit. The moment he caught sight of himself on the performer's display screen, Crinkles put his hands on his muzzle and broke into giggles, which caused the shiny surface to squeak. "Heeheehee! Wow, my mouth even moves when I speak! And I can blink my eyes! Are you seeing this?!" Charlie, Grandpa Joe, and Jeeves couldn't help but smile as the big blue kangaroo bounced around, waving, giggling and making lots of cute squeaky rubbery sounds with every movement. In contrast, Mr. Waddler and Crinkle Cam Winkle were both watching intensely, as if they knew something everyone else didn't. Suddenly, Crinkles stopped and grabbed his muzzle. "Hold on a second. I think I have to adjust my head. The muzzle is pushing up against my mouth and it’s getting hard to talk." Russell tried to move the head around, and when that failed, he started tugging at it. "Hey, what gives? This head won't budge an inch! Help me get this off." "No can do," said Mr. Waddler. "Crinkles is a self-sealing synthetic symbiote. Once you put him on, you can’t take him off ever again." "What?!" yelped Crinkles pulling so hard his neck stretched and snapped back with a comical boing. "Get dis fing offa nee!" The shiny rubber squeaked loudly as the smiling kangaroo struggled, his big cartoony eyes looking joyful and happy in contrast to the increasingly muffled voice of the person struggling inside. "MMMFFF! MMMNFFF!" "I tried to warn him," said Mr. Waddler, shrugging, "I really did..." As Russell's muffled voice was cut off completely, a new voice emerged from the rubber roo's mouth, strong and rich in tone. "What's going on? My mouth feels like rubber... And my voice! It's different! Why do I sound... kinda hot?" "That's your new voice, Crinkles," said Mr. Waddler. "Courtesy of your top of the line engineering. A proper mascot has to have a proper mascot voice, wouldn't you say?" "Are you *SQRK*-ing crazy? I'm no mascot," said Crinkles, waving his paws emphatically. *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQRK* "Get me out of this damned thing! Cut me out if you have to, I don't care!" "Ooh," said Mr. Waddler, gritting his teeth, "that language isn't very Crinkle-like... We're going to have to do something about that now that you're representing the Waddler brand." Mr. Waddler nodded to Cam, who picked up a remote from the counter and started pressing buttons. "Get me out this instant or I’m going to hug the heck out of you!" Crinkles threw his arms wide like he was about to give a big happy hug, but then paused and looked at his paws. "Wait a second, that’s not what I meant to say! I meant to say that I’m going to hire a lawyer and file a motion to hug the heck out of you!" Everyone giggled, unable to take the adorable rubber roo's silly statements seriously. The more insistent he got, the sillier and more ridiculous his words became. "No, no, no! I'm trying to say... I'm Crinkles and I love being a Crinkly Kangaroo! Crinkles giggled, wearing a pleased-as-punch rubber roo grin. "I'm not Crinkles!" said Crinkles, grabbing his throat. "I'm Crinkles the crinkly kangaroo!! I want to stay a crinkly kangaroo forever!" "Of course you do, Crinkles," said Mr. Waddler, patting the happy roo's head. "You can’t do this!" "Oh yes I can," said Mr. Waddler, wagging his finger. "We have complete creative control over everything Crinkles does and says. Isn't that right, Cam?" "That's right, sir!" said the Crinkle Winkle Cameraman. "And with a few more adjustments, we'll have the perfect personality dialed in." "I LOVE my DIAPERS! Wait, that’s not what I meant to say, it was... I love my DIAPERS! I need my DIAPERS and I LOVE being a crinkly kangaroo, AND I love my diapers!" Mr. Waddler pulled out his flute. "Crinkle Winkles! Crinkles needs his diapers!" In came six crinkle winkles carrying a humongous squeaky rubber diaper. "And what better to diaper our new mascot with than our newest invention: the all-in-one Jumbo Rubber Diaper! It's perfect for anyone who wants a giant squeaky rubber diaper! Clowns... goofballs... rubber lovers... and of course, big silly latex kangaroos! If you need a big shiny diaper, this is the only diaper you'll ever choose!" The Crinkle Winkles began singing as they led the roo over to the gigantic diaper. Crinkle Winkle dinkity doo, Russell's always chasing more views. Crinkle Winkle dinkity Dee, Now a crinkle roo he will be. Likes and clicks can give you a rush. Egging you on to do goodness knows what. Glued to the screen soon your brain becomes mush. Then you'll end up like Russell Butts. I wouldn't recommend it. Crinkle Winkle dinkity doo, If you're like Russell, this is your cue. Go touch grass, turn off your phone too. Like the Crinkle Winkles dinkity do! Crinkles giggled and squirmed as the ridiculously thick, shiny garment was pulled up between his legs, leaving him pear shaped. "Heehee! That tickles! I love my diapers!" "Of course you do!" said Cam. "Now smile for the camera! You're about to become a household name!" "Let's clear the set, everyone," said Mr. Waddler. Once they exited the room, Mr. Waddler put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Charlie, you're the last one remaining. I think it's time we visited my office."

Really excited for the next chapter:) and nothing else just wanted this back up top of the story board  

NO!

Well, being someone who hates info-dumping at the outset of a story, especially when it involves pre-explaining everything (because that's so fucking clinical it makes me want to rip my hair out), I spent most of it being very cagey about how tall she is, even though I do hit on how short he is a LOT.  I don't explain how she got to be so tall until the second arc, honestly.  But it does actually tie into basketball stuff, how tall her father was versus how short her mother and sister were, etc. 

First show me a real world couple that fits this description.  The WNBA perhaps?