2011

Hello. We can chat

Hi I’m a little based in West London so not too far. Like to chat

Maybe the epilogue would take this to the final destination Christina and both Moms have taken pills to induce lactation and are only breastfeeding the two of them. Not sure about them speaking baby talk to each other only though.

Chapter 10: Public diapers It didn't take very long for Nick to fully accept and adapt to his new full-time diapered life. All hope of ever becoming potty trained again had vanished so every urge he had went straight into his diaper. In the days that followed, he really began to notice that his reliance on diapers was starting to affect his body. After he had started wetting the bed, his daytime continence had only gotten worse, but up until now he was at least able to hold his pee most of the time, even if only for a few minutes. Two days after his public accident he had his first alarming experience. He was sitting on the couch and playing games as usual when he decided to get something to drink. When he stood up, he felt a surprisingly large stream of pee squirt into his diaper. He grabbed the front of his diaper out of surprise before he remembered what he was wearing. Then his brain processed what had just happened. I just had an accident, Nick said to himself in disbelief. And not just a "I couldn't make it to the toilet" type of accident, but an actual "I just wet myself out of nowhere" type. If I hadn't been wearing this diaper, my underwear would have been soaked, Nick thought to himself. He thought about what this meant for a minute, his bladder had gotten so weak that it wasn't able to hold his pee when he stood up. Nick felt a bit conflicted about it, on one hand, he just had his first genuine accident, which was a major step in becoming diaper dependent. The chances of ever going back to regular underwear were growing smaller by the day. But on the other hand, he already knew this was gonna happen eventually, and as he was already wearing diapers anyways, did it matter that he had a real accident. After that, it became more and more common for him to suddenly feel a squirt of pee escape into his diaper. It happened when he got out of bed, when he sat down at the table, when he stood up, when he bent over, when he stretched, when he masturbated and even when he laughed or got jumpscared. It didn't take long for Jane to figure out what was happening. When suddenly wetting himself was still new to Nick, he had the habit of grabbing his crotch in surprise. This almost immediately got him caught. He had spent another long morning in diapers when Jane decided to change him. He laid down on the couch and tried to relax as his mom ripped off the tapes of his diapers and folded it open. Nick had to really hold his bladder while his mom cleaned him up, the last thing he wanted was to pee now that there wasn't a diaper taped on to catch it. At first he really had to try and hold it, but soon the urge faded and Nick was able to relax a little. Not long after that Jane finished up and taped his new diaper shut. By then he had already forgotten about his bladder, but as soon as he stood up a decently large stream escaped into his diaper. Causing him to put his hand against the front of the diaper as if that would stop it. It was all Jane needed.  Did you already have an accident? I literally put that diaper on you ten seconds ago. I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, it just came out. Wait, so you had an actual accident. Just a small one, Nick said defensefly. Maybe so, but if you had been wearing normal underwear there would now be a dark patch on it, maybe even a puddle on the floor. Nick had nothing more to say. Hey, I'm not mad at you, Jane said with a soothing tone, this is the whole reason you are in diapers. It's just good to know you are having them, I want to be aware of the state of your bladder, to make sure nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Very funny, Nick replied. Even though the accidents were still relatively small, it was another reminder that he was probably never going to wear normal underwear again. That was a motivator for Nick to get out of the house more often. Jane had been right, just because he was wearing diapers didn't mean he had to hide away in his home for the rest of his life. Part of dealing with incontinence and diapers was learning to implement them in his day to day life, both inside and outside. So that is exactly what he did, though he still wasn't thrilled about it. He decided to start off simple. One evening, the summer air was cooling off and the sun was waving goodbye with it's last rays of sunlight peeking out above the distant trees. That's when he waddled over to his room, pulled his pants over his bulging wet diaper, put on a jacket that covered enough to make him feel safe, said goodbye to Jane and went for a stroll around the block. Nick's heart was pounding in his chest. His waddle felt even more obvious than usual. Every crinkle, whether it was from his jacket or his diaper, seemed to pierce straight through the music he had put on to distract himself, making it very hard to think about anything other that the wet bulk between his legs. He turned of his music, it might be better to hear others coming so he could mentally prepare himself. The neighborhood was dead quiet however, every time he turned a corner he was expecting to bump into someone, but he didn't. Part of him was glad, but it also made him feel dissatisfied, and even a bit lonely. As much as he didn't want anyone to see this side of himself, he did miss being amongst other people. All the lights shining from behind the closed curtains reminded him off all the people living theuir regular lives, completely unaware that there was currently a boy in a full diaper walking past their house. And if they did know, would they even care? That question made him even more sad, it hit him like a ton of bricks that there was almost nobody on this planet that cared about him being in diapers or how scared he was being outside in one of them. Thankfully there was at least one person that cared.  Even though Nick was only 15 minutes away from her, he had rarely wanted to be his mom this badly. At the next junction he turned left and walked straight home. Nick spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch like a cat, the soaked diaper squished between his legs. He wondered how he would ever be able to take care of himself if a small evening stroll already had this effect on him. He continued going out nonetheless and with each time became more and more comfortable. He was still very much aware of the diaper he was wearing, but he felt less self conscious about it. By now, he viewed himself as practically diaper dependent, which was embarrassing of course, but it also made it easier to accept himself. He didn't have a choice in wearing diapers anymore, so why would he feel embarrassed about it. He became more and more confident as he walked around the neighborhood. He had checked his diapered ass in the mirror so many times that he was fully convinced no one could see it. And even if they could, they would think that he needed diapers, and they would be right, and what they would about him after that wasn't within his control. So why worry about it. He started going outside during daytime as well, and since it was still summer, he had no excuse to cover his diaper butt. All he could do was wear baggy jeans and long shirts to make sure nobody saw what was underneath it. At first he carefully monitored the way people looked at him, every glance, expression or movement made him nervous. But after a while he realized that people just acted like normal, everyone glances, makes expressions and moves. Nobody saw his diaper, and if they did, they didn't seem to act diffrently because of it. As he became more confident he started walking around more confidently, wich only made it less obvious that he was wearing a diaper. That didn't mean everything went smoothly. He was becoming incontinent after all, which meant he didn't always have control over what his body did, or when, or where, wich resulted in some internal embarrassement. Especially when he was still getting used to it. Once a very large gush of pee escaped into his diaper just as he was passing by an elderly couple. He immediately looked down at his crotch in shock, though he was able to keep his hands under control. Still, it must have been very obvious for them that something unexpected had happened, and also where it had happend. Nick got beet red but couldn't rush home because that was in the direction where they were headed. So instead he walked around a bit longer, constantly reminded what he had done because of the damp feeling coming from his diaper area. But wetting himself in public soon became just as normal as wetting himself at home. He didn't react at all when small spurts of pee escaped into his diaper. He even started having full-on wetting accidents in public. That did take some getting used to. The first time he felt the signal that he was about to fully wet his diaper, all he could do was panic. He knew he was too far away from home to make it back, so his next best option was to find a somewhat private spot to wet his diaper. But finding a place like that in endless suburbia wasn't an easy task, after walking around for a minute, he was already doing the potty dance. Nick realised that he probably looked more like a baby this way than if he actually just peed in his diaper right now. So he stopped struggling, kept walking and pretended to look at the pavement as he released the flood gates and felt his diaper swell up underneath his clothing.  It had taken a while to become able to wet himself while walking, but now he was glad he could. Apparently he needed to go very badly because the stream just kept on going which left little room for speculation about what was happening. All while a mother with her baby were quickly approaching. Just as the got within hearing distance, the stream started slowing down. He was still wetting himself as they went by, but it wasn't as noticable. He couldn't help but look back at the baby, realizing that the baby would probably sooner be out of diapers than him. Once they were gone, Nick let out a relieved sigh. But when he looked down to inspect the damage, he couldn't escape the fact that he had a very obvious diaper bulge. He found it hard to believe the mother had missed it. But Nick quickly realized that he didn't really care if some random woman saw him wearing diapers. What were they gonna do about it. After making these little trips for about a week and a half, Nick had become completely comfortable with being outside in diapers. He was no longer afraid of people seeing what he wearing underneath his regular clothes. Nick didn't even care if he wet himself in public. His carefree attitude towards wearing diapers in public didn't go unnoticed by Jane. She was glad her son finally snapped out of his temporary self-isolation phase and started acting like someone his age again by going outside every once in a while. Jane could feel the worry about her son's future fade away. Still, a walk around the block every few days was only the beginning. She decided it would be a good idea to support him in getting more comfortable being publicly diapered. Nick woke up a little earlier than usual today. It was only 9:10 a.m, though diaper was soaked nonetheless, Nick didn't know for sure, but it seemed like his diaper was wetter and wetter each time he woke up. Normally he would easily be able to wet himself twice more once he woke up, but now Nick wasn't even sure if his diaper could handle one more wetting, even with a booster in it. Granted, he did drink a lot of water, but still, these diapers were designed for heavy bedwetters like him, did he really pee that much in his sleep? It would probably have to hold another accident however, because Nick knew the chances of getting to Jane before wetting himself were low to put it lightly.  As he got out of bed he already felt a large spurt make it's way into his diaper, but he was used to it by now so he continued making his way down the stairs. With each step he felt the pressure on his bladder increase, he decided to try and hold it until he was seated at the table, just to see if he still could. He was able to make his way down the stairs but once he opened the living room door he lost control and felt a stream of pee flow into his diaper, he stayed still in the door opening for a few moments to finish peeing, because the chance of leaking was lower when he wasn't moving. Thankfully the diaper was able to hold it all, but now it was at maximum capacity. Both the front and back of the diaper were a dark shade of yellow and Nick's legs were forced apart by the sheer bulk of the diaper. When he looked up he saw Jane giving him a curious glance. That diaper looks really full, she remarked, do you need a change? Normally Nick would have waited until after breakfast, but he wasn't sure his diaper would last that long. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Stay here, I'll grab the supplies, Jane said. Nick stood in the middle of living, not sure how to feel. Part of him really enjoyed how helpless he was feeling, not even making it past breakfast before needing a diaper change was a new milestone. Nick could only imagine how all of this would play out if he wasn't wearing a diaper. I'm really diaper dependent, he thought to himself. He didn't really feel diaper dependent, he still felt it when he needed to pee and actively chose to wet his diaper, but he also recognised that he didn't actually have that much of a choice anymore.  Jane returned with multiple diapers in her hand as well as extra packages of all his changing supplies. What are those for, he asked. For later, she replied, I just want to have an extra stash of supplies in the living room so I don't have to go to your room every time you need a change. It's not that often, Nick replied, thinking his mom was over-exaggerating. Nick, I changed your diaper four times yesterday, I know it's easy to lose count since you don't have to worry about it, but I don't. So I'm gonna put these diapers over here and safe myself some hassle if you don't mind. Nick did in fact not mind, as long as his diapers weren't visible for the occasional visitors, he didn't care where Jane put them. Nick laid down on the floor, feeling the thick padding squish underneath his rear. He was more than ready for a change. Jane sat down to change him, but before she started she thuroughly inspected his diaper. She ran her hand across the front and even asked Nick lay on his belly so she could inspect the back. That diaper is really really full, if you had wet a little more, you might have leaked. I know, Nick said, wasn't that why she was changing him? I don't think you get my point. No, I don't, he agreed. What I'm trying to say is that these diaper might not be enough to keep you dry anymore. That's when Nick started to realise where this was going. Are you suggesting I should wear even bigger diapers? He asked, not even trying to hide the excitement in his voice. Yeah, I think it has come to that, Jane said, though she didn't sound as thrilled about it. What did you have in mind? I'm not sure to be honest. But I need run some errands today, so I was thinking we could give the nearest pharmacy a visit, I'm sure they can help us. We? Nick asked a little surprised. Yeah, you're the one that has to wear them, so I think you should be the one to decide which ones to wear. Nick knew by her voice that there was no point in arguing, even though he wasn't sure if he was ready for this. I was thinking we could go after you finish breakfast, there will be less people in the morning. But first, let's get you out of this diaper. Once Nick was changed he started devouring his breakfast. Normally he was a pretty slow eater, but the excitement of getting thicker diapers gave him a speed boost. Only halfway through breakfast did he realise what he was about to do. Not only was he going to a shopping mall in a diaper, they were going to buy new ones right then and there. Nick remembered the last time they did that, he still vividly remembered the embarrassment of buying pull-ups. Now he would be buying thick adult diapers, while currently wearing one. Nick became overwhelmed by the prospect and his eating pace grinded to a halt. After 20 minutes he was still sitting there when Jane checked up on him. Nick, I have a lot of things on my to do list for today, I don't want to waste my whole morning because you're too scared to go outside. But... Nick stammered, but Jane cut him off as usual. Yeah, I know it's scary and humiliating to buy diapers, but you have to remember that you actually need them. You are not lying to anyone when you tell them that, and nobody has to know why you need them. I know that it doesn't become any less humiliating, but I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that. I know we can also order online, but it will be a valuable experience to buy them in person. You'll see that nobody cares about this teenage boy being in diapers, they'll correctly assume you have a medical condition and move on with their lives. This is what wearing diapers means, you won't be able to hide it forever, so you are going to do this and not chicken out. It's time you take responsibility for your actions and learn to take care of yourself. Nick let out a sigh which contained dread, irritation and surrender. He made his way upstairs to brush his teeth and get dressed. While brushing his teeth, he noticed his crotch felt warm. When he looked at his diaper in the mirror, he saw there was already a yellow stain at the bottom. Already? I've only been wearing it for thirty minutes. It wasn't even the fact that his diaper was already wet that scared him, it was the fact that he had no idea when it happened. I was probably just distracted by moms speech, he thought to himself, but that still meant he had wet himself without even noticing. It slowly dawned on him what this meant. He was officially incontinent. I'm incontinent, he said out loud. It took a minute for him to register that fact, but then it hit like a freight train. He noticed his belly tightening up and he started to hyperventilate. It's okay, he told himself. I'm in a diaper, it doesn't matter that I have accidents. In fact, people expect me to have them, you're wearing a diaper for a reason after all. Nick noticed that saying this to himself had a calming effect, so he repeated it. I'm wearing a diaper. I'm wearing a diaper. I'm wearing a diaper because I need them and that's okay. Of course he immediately got the urge to pee. Should I hold it, Nick wondered? Nah, I'm wearing a diaper, there is no point in holding it. He realeased and felt a small stream make it's way into his diaper. I'm going to make it through this, Nick told himself. One diaper at a time. After his peptalk, Nick quickly got dressed. He still did a double check to see if his diaper bulge was visible under his pants. He concluded that it was not visible, even when knowing that it was there. He walked down the stairs with a slight waddle and hopped in the car. It was about a 15 minute drive, which he usually enjoyed. And although the first few minutes were nice, his mood shifted very drastically when he suddenly felt a slight urge to poop. Shit, he muttered to himself under his breath. Did you say something? Jane asked. Nick quickly said no. He wasn't sure what to do. Even though he had gotten a little more comfortable with being diapered in public, Nick was not ready to poop himself out in the open yet. He had two choices. He could ask his mom to turn around so he could do his business at home and be changed right after, or he could try to hold it. Nick quickly realized that neither of them was going to happen. Jane had already said she was busy today, no way she would waste half an hour just so he could poop at home. She'd probably just tell him that he was wearing a diaper and that he should just use it. "Because that's what diapers are for", he could already hear her say it. Normally that phrase excited him, the notion that he was in diapers for a reason and that he should just wet himself like a baby made him feel so helpless. But right now he didn't want to feel helpless, he wanted to be in control of where he messed himself. I'm not anymore though, he thought to himself. I'm in diapers because of my accidents, meaning I'm no longer able to control where I wet himself. A messy accident was completely diffrent however, he couldn't even imagine what it would be like to suddenly fill up his diaper without any control over it. He decided not to think about it, now was not the time to panic. He thought about his other option, holding it might have been an option if they were about to head home, but they had only just left and would probably be away for the next 2 hours. No way he would be able to hold it for that long. That's when a third option popped up in his head, he could just ask Jane to use a public bathroom. She would probably okay with it since it meant not having to change his poopy diaper. Yeah, I might just do that, he thought to himself before remembering what the public bathrooms were like there over at the mall. They were absolutely disgusting. Nick had only ever used them for peeing, which meant he didn't have to touch anything. But going number two made that a lot harder. Even thinking about them made him feel disgusting. Maybe just doing it in his diaper was the better option after all. As the drive continued, Nick could feel the pressure on his bowels increasing. It wasn't anywhere near emergency levels yet, but he felt it growing by the minute. He spent the rest of the car ride looking out the window, trying to distract himself from what was about to happen. He kind off wanted to do it in the car, just to get it over with, but he was unable to get himself to do it. They arrived way sooner than he would have liked. Jane quickly got out of the car, but Nick took a deep breath to prepare himself for what was about yo happen. I'm gonna have a messy accident in public, he almost couldn't believe it. Are you coming? Jane asked impatiently. I'm coming, he replied, and got out of the car. There were a few things they needed to get: groceries, a new phone case for Jane and of course diapers.  They decided to get the groceries first and bring those back to the car before continuing, not because it was the most practical but because Jane wanted to get it over with. Together they walked into the store and started gathering the things they needed. Nick had thought this would be a quick one, get in, grab some stuff and get out. He was wrong, Jane needed to get a lot more than a few things. They went from one isle to the other, and with each one Nick's desperation became larger. At first he just had to clamp his buttcheeks together, but as they went on he also started to press his legs closer together. He had hoped to keep it in until they at least got all the grocies and were back at the car, he would at least have some privacy there. But as they went on, Nick knew he wouldn't make it at this pace however, the terrifying realization crept over him that he was about to fully fill up his diaper in the middle of the store. Even his nightmares were usually better than this. He hadn't even been paying attention to his bladder, so it came as a bit of a surprise when he suddenly felt himself wetting his diaper. Thankfully he didn't grab his crotch out of schock. The sudden wetting had caught him off guard however, and he almost felt himself losing control over his bowels. The only way to prevent himself from filling his diaper right then and there was by doing the potty dance. That bought him a little bit of time to look around and think. He was sure his mom would have a snarky remark about him acting like an un-potty trained toddler, but when he looked around Jane was nowhere to be found, in fact, he was all on his own in the isle. The first thought Nick had was "thank god nobody saw that", but he quickly realised that now might be a good moment to do his business. In a matter of seconds, his heart rate seemed to double and all the air seemed to get sucked out of his throat. Don't think about it too much, he told himself. You've wet your diaper in public countless times and everything was fine. Pooping is no different. Just bent over a little and relax, my body will take care of the rest. This is why I'm in diapers, to take care of all my accidents, even messy ones. Before I know it, there will be a nice warm load in the back of my diaper and all the unpleasant feelings in my tummy will be gone. Everything will stay in the diaper, and nodoby will see and nobody will know. Okay, here we go, I can do this. He bent over slightly and pretended to look at some soup. He spread his legs apart slightly and relaxed. From there, his body did in fact take care of everything in one smooth motion. He only had to push a little before the load slipped into the seat of his diaper in a matter of seconds. It started to sag havely but did contain the mess. Nick let out a soft sigh of relief, that felt a lot better. Only when he got up did he notice the two other people in the isle, but they were minding their own business and seemed oblivious to the fact that this 18 year old had just messed his diaper. Nick decided that their was no reason to linger here and started searching for his mom. But by doing this he was faced with yet another problem, the full diaper made it impossible to walk normally. It also seemed to be louder, and although he couldn't see it himself, he got the impression his diaper bulge was also a lot more obvious. Nick was almost certain people would notice, and there was nothing he could do about it. He waddled over to his mother who was looking at cornflakes. She asked him to grab some milk without even looking up. Nick was a little surprised, did she really not notice that he had a full diaper. He didn't really want to admit it while there were other people around, so all he could do was waddle away. It felt very odd to walk around in public in a messy diaper. With every step he felt the load spread further. He sniffed almost every 10 seconds to make sure the smell wasn't noticable, but as far as he could tell it wasn't. The weirdest part however was that he wasn't really bothered by any of it, I mean sure, it was embarrassing and a little uncomfortable walking around with a mess between your legs, but it wasn't that bad. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, so why worry? This is what it's like to be dependent on diapers, everything just comes out and the diaper takes care of it. All he could do was enjoy the freedom of never having to worry about the toilet again as the last bits of control slipped away. Nick felt almost peaceful. Though he wasn't sure how long that feeling would last, because there was no way Jane would keep him in this full diaper for the rest of their shopping trip. What had been his worst fear a few weeks ago was about to become reality. By the time he returned, it felt like the mess was everywhere. Only then did Jane finally notice what had happened. She sniffed the air once, than twice, his heart skipped a beat, was his mess that noticable? Jane looked at him, and noticed his legs were a little further apart than usual, and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. Did you seriously just have a messy accident, Jane whispered in his ear, which send shudders through his whole body. The combination of disbelief and dissapointment made him feel like a toddler who just had an accident even though he was supposed to be out of diapers by now, which wasn't far from the truth. Yes, he whispered back. Jane let out an audible sigh. Well, I guess that's what I get for putting son back in diapers. This time she wasn't as quiet, and Nick feared that half the store had heard it, even though nobody reacted to her statement. I didn't bring a spare diaper, Jane continued, so we'll need to buy you some new ones before I can change you. Nick knew he was about to be in for quite the adventure. It took Jane another 10 minutes to finish grabbing all the stuff they needed. The mess shifted through his diaper with every step he took. He felt quite bad that his mom would have to clean this up. But what else could he have done? Using his diaper was his only option. That thought made him feel even more like a baby as he waddled past the checkout. Sit down here, Jane commanded him as they walked past a bench, I less you move the better. Nick wasn't sure where to look as he sat there, he would look humiliated if he stared at the floor or ceiling, but he also really didn't want to meet anyone's gaze. Why did he have to forget his phone in the car. It felt like an eternity passed while he sat there, he didn't really dare to move out of fear of making things worse, but the warm mess was starting to cool off and become quite uncomfortable. He almost didn't notice Jane returning because he was so focused on the load in the back of his diaper. Come on, let's get you some proper protection, she joked. All Nick could do was gulp, he had been so preoccupied with his accident that he hadn't even thought about what else was about to happen. Can't we just go home, Nick begged her. No, you just had a massive accident in your diaper and you clearly need better ones to make sure everything stays in them. But these are doing just fine, I haven't even leaked. Not yet maybe, but I'm sure you will if you keep it on for much longer. Please, I'm not ready for this level of humiliation, was all he could say. You'll never be, but this is what you signed up for when you decided you preferd diapers over regular underwear. As he sighed in defeat, he also got the urge to wet himself. Nick didn't see much point in holding it, he probably wouldn't even be able to make it until he got changed. Besides, he would rather use the dirty one to keep his new diaper clean a little longer. He felt the a slow stream make it's way into the diaper, making the mess even worse. Nick felt dread as he realized the most humiliating part of this trap was yet to come. Eventually they reached the pharmacy. Jane walked in without much hesitation but Nick needed to take a deep breath. It's gonna be okay he told himself, these people are proffesionals, they don't care if I need diapers. But Nick knew that wasn't the worst part, not only did he need them, he was currently wearing what felt like the messiest diaper ever. He wasn't sure if these employees ever had to deal with that. Jane was right however, he did need better diapers, so there was nothing left to do but enter. There weren't a lot of other customers, but still more than he would have liked. One by one they went up to the counter and made their purchase all while new people entered as well. Nick felt himself getting sweaty, especially when someone not too far away from him sniffed the air. He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or terrified when their number finally got called. Together they walked up to the counter. Thankfully Jane was the one that did the actual talking, because Nick wasn't sure if he would be able to. That didn't make it any less embarrassing, because Jane wasn't beating around the bush. The pharmacist was a middle aged woman with a stern but trustworthy face. Good morning, I'm here to buy diapers for my son who has been suffering from heavy urinary and bowel incontinence for the past few weeks. With that the truth was out there, no turning back anymore.  I'm very sorry to hear that, she said. It sounded professional, but Nick couldn't help but notice a bit of pity. Do you have conformation from a medical professional about his condition. Nick wouldn't have know what to say, but Jane did. We are still waiting for the results, but we weren't able to wait for that long. Understandable, she said. What kind of protection are you looking for, do you want something discreet or are you looking for something a bit more absorbent. I think for the time being it would be best to get him something absorbent, he is still getting used to his condition and doesn't always realize how full his diaper is. I would rather get him something that keeps him protected for extended periods of time to make sure he doesn't leak. Nick turned red as a tomato, but he was unsure whether it was from excitement or soul-crushing embarrassment. Any regular teen would have probably flatlined by now, but for him this almost felt like an officiation. His growing dependence on diapers had never felt so real. Now there were people who knew him as nothing other than someone that needed diapers. They expected him to wear and use his diapers. To his surprise, he was relieved, almost like his fate had been sealed, this was who he was now, and all he would ever be. While he was thinking about this, the woman had entered the storage to get his new diapers. She returned with a large plastic bag, in the front, Nick could read the words Northshore Megamax, and inside the bag were the largest diapers he had ever seen. Those things seemed way larger as the ones he usually wore, again. He could only imagine how large they would get when he used them. Jane seemed to be equally impressed. These are some of the best briefs on the market, she explained. They can hold up to 6000 ml and should be able to keep him dry for up to twelve hours. Jane seemed a little skeptical about that, but even if they didn't manage to last half a day, the would still keep Nick dry for a very long time. I think these will do just fine. I think so too, the pharmacist agreed. Before paying, I need to ask for one more favor, Jane said. Nick stared at the floor, knowing what was about to be said, he didn't even care if he looked embarrassed, anyone would be. You see, my son is currently in need of a change. I was wondering if we could make use of your facilities. We have our own supplies, we just need a private area. This time, the woman was unable to hide her surprise. Ermmm... sure... she said. Nick could feel her eyes piercing him, but he refused to look back. I'll pay for them first, Jane continued, trying to ease the tension. She handed him the pack of diaper after she paid, which was heavier than he would have expected. Together with the employee they went to the back of the pharmacy. They entered a room with a large changing table in the middle, Nick almost couldn't believe his eyes. The employee put a protective towel over the table, sorry if it's a little dusty in here, it's pretty rare for people to make use of this room, but every once in a while it comes in handy. After that she left, leaving Jane and Nick on their own. Well, let's asses the damage first, Jane said. Nick pulled down his pants, exposing what used to be a plain white diaper. By now most of the diaper was brown however, with only bits of yellow and white near the top his diaper. It was sagging so much that there was an actual gap between his skin and the diaper, releasing a horrible smell. This is going to be fun, thankfully we have an actual changing room instead of a cramped public toilet, that would have been a nightmare. Nick felt like a complete and utter baby as he climbed onto the changing table and laid down with his legs spread apart. Jane unpacked the changing supplies as well as his first extra thick diaper. She ripped open the tapes before visibly gagging at the released smell. I'm really sorry, Nick said. Stop saying that, Jane said with an irritated voice. You know damn well there is nothing to be sorry for. The next time you say it, you will be spanked. That made him shut up. He felt utterly helpless as he stared up at the ceiling while his mom slowly wiped away the mess. Nick didn't know how long it took, but by the time Jane was finished, he had almost gotten used to the smell. Nick wasn't sure what to think about his first public messy diaper. On the one hand, it had been the most humiliating hour of his life, and he was sure that this experience would haunt him for many years to come. On the other hand, this was the most pure way he could have experienced what it was like to be in diapers full time. He no longer had a choice in where and when he used his diaper. All he could do was let go and deal with the consequences. Now that he looked back at it, it had been kind of nice to walk around in a messy diaper knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Even in a full diaper, life just kept going. Was that the essence of being diaper dependent? Who knows. Nick did know one thing though. If he had survived this, he could survive anything. Especially now that he was getting better diapers. At that moment, his thoughts were interrupted by a loud crinkle. When he looked at the source of the noise, he saw his mom folding open the biggest diaper he had ever seen. It was plain white with blue tapes like his previous diaper, but this one was even larger and thicker. Nick was excited by the prospect of walking around in them. These would probably last him for the better part of the day. Jane commanded him to lift up his butt as she slid the diaper under him. Wow, that feels soft, he said out loud. Glad to hear that, we would have had a problem if you didn't like them, because you'll be wearing these most of the time from now on. Although he was more than happy with the extra padding around his rear, it also made him a little nervous. There was no way in hell that he would be able to hide these massive diapers under his pants. Meanwhile Jane grabbed the front of the diaper and pulled it over his crotch. Nick was forced to spread his legs even further apart to make room for the padding. It felt like an actual pillow was folded around him. The sound of the tapes being applied seemed twice as loud as normal, but that might just be because they were in public. Once the last tape was applied, Jane took a step back to asses the result. Nick saw a a smirk appear on her face. He didn't need a mirror to know his cheeks were turning red. I look ridiculous, don't I? Yes, a little, Jane admitted. I wasn't expecting them to be this big, but if I'm being honest, you look adorable in them. In your previous diapers, you still looked like a teen, just with a bit of protection between his hips. It was kind of jarring, you looked like an adult and a child at the same time. But these actually make you look a little younger. Nick opened his mouth to protest, but Jane already continued. I'm not saying you look like a baby, or even a child really. You just seem a little more innocent and helpless. It kind of activates my motherly instincts. That can't be good, Nick thought to himself, but Jane was right about one thing, he did feel helpless. The massive bulk between his legs made it hard to move around freely. He felt rather clumsy as he climbed off the changing table. The thick padding forced his legs apart, which restricted his movement and made him feel like a big baby. This feeling was only amplified as a large gush of pee entered his diaper as soon as his feet hit the ground. It caught him completely off guard so he instinctively grabbed his crotch, despite knowing that he was wearing protection. Did you already wet yourself? Jane asked surprised. Just a little, he stuttered. He removed his hands from the padding, revealing a small yellow patch at the bottom of his otherwise white diaper. It was an accident nonetheless, Jane said. But now that you are wearing these, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. Nick was still a little abashed by that remark, it had gotten to a point where it didn't really seem like a playful tease, it was just a matter of fact statement. He was wearing massive diapers wich could in theory last him twelve hours. Before he needed to be at least a little aware of the state of his diaper to make sure he didn't leak, but with these even that miniscule amount of effort was no longer required. Oh well, too late for regrets, Nick thought to himself. Even putting his pants on was hard. The bulk of his diaper made it hard to balance on one leg while he tried to pull his pants up, Nick almost fell over but he luckily managed to prevent that from happening. He could already hear his mother teasing him about the fact that he couldn't stand up. Nick didn't put it past her to suggest buying a stroller. That thought could only be described as horrifying. Nick snapped back to reality when he found himself unable to pull his pants over his diaper. This diaper was really massive and Nick had to wiggle and squirm quite a bit before he finally managed to pull his pants over the bulk. It took him another minute to close the zipper and button his pants. When he was done he noticed Jane looking at his crotch with a mixture of worry, annoyance and amusement. When he looked down himself he noticed the clear and obvious bulge. The only way to make it more obvious that he was wearing a diaper was to take off his pants altogether. I think it's time we buy you some new clothes... Jane said. Nick absolutely despised shopping. He hated it. You could even say he loathed it. Especially now that he was walking around with the most obvious diaper bulge in the universe. Jane was right, if he wanted to appear at least somewhat normal, he needed loose clothing. They entered a clothing store and were greeted by an employee. She was as close to his definition of a dream girl as possible. Her cute face, perfectly framed by her slightly curly caramel hair, was to die for. She was a bit shorter than him, but also had a bit more muscle. Her skinny jeans highlighted her firm legs which had a beautiful round, tight butt attached to them. Her bright red work polo was a little less flattering, but her boobs were still clearly visible. She radiated playfulness, enthousiasm and confidence and had an irressistable smile. Nick had never wanted to take his diaper off this much, but alas, he couldn't. Not just because everybody would see him do it, but also because he had a very real chance of wetting his pants without it. Nick suddenly felt completely trapped resulting in his brain having a meltdown. All he could do was quickly move behind a rack of clothes to prevent her from seeing his obvious padded bottom. Jane greeted her and explained what they were looking for. Okay, what size do you have, she asked nicely. Nick tried to answer quickly, but all that came out was incomprehensible mumbling. So Jane told her instead. She chuckled awkardly before walking off to grab a few diffrent jeans. It was physically impossible for him to be more red from embarrassment. Why did she have to be the one to help them of all people? Is it okay if I go into the fitting room? Nick asked, unable to hide the desperation in his voice. "I'm not sure Jane said. You need to face your fears, you have made some great progress these past few weeks, but you're still not able to accept yourself". "I know, but this isn't going to change that. And even if it did, it shouldn't be at her expense" Nick retorted. "How noble of you", Jane said with unmistakable sarcasm. Nick gave her an annoyed glance. He had been rather obedient these past few months, but this was simply a bridge too far. He entered a fitting room and closed the curtain before the employee returned. The girl returned not even 10 seconds later. Nick immediately started to panic, had she seen his diapered rear?Here are a few options, she heard her say to his mom. "Thank you so much, Jane said. I'll know where to find you if we need help". Okay, the girl said. She sounded curious and weirded out at the same time, with only a single word being spoken. Nick wanted to slam his head against a wall, but knew it would only draw more attention. He nearly got a heart attack when Jane's hand holding 5 pairs of pants suddenly poked through the curtain. Jesus christ, he muttered, before taking them off her. He sighed as he realized that this was going to take a while. 43 minutes to be exact, but it felt a lot longer. At least at first The fitting room felt claustrophobic, it's thin walls were the only thing that prevented the outside world from seeing what he was really wearing. The worst part was having to come out of it to show Jane whether that particular pair of pants did a good enough job hiding the diaper bulge. It was getting busy in the store. Even though it was normal to spin around and check out your ass in the mirror when fitting pants, it felt wrong doing it when there was diaper underneath. I might as well tell everyone in the store about what I'm wearing, he thought to himself. But to his surprise, no one seemed to notice or care. At first he was very self consious about the visibility of his diaper and felt like it was impossible to miss. But his mom kept reassuring him that no one could tell. Slowly Nick started to realize this as well. Not all pants did a great job of hiding the bulge, but there was also quite a few which made it hard to tell, even for Nick. With every pair he grew more comfident and some even made him feel fashionable. After the third one he wasn't even really thinking about the visibility of the diaper, he was just judging which ones looked the best. There were some that he had to disregard despite Nick liking them, simply because they didn't do a good enough job hiding his protection, especially after he had an accident. Thankfully it happend in the fitting room, but it was nonetheless a little humiliating. Nevertheless, after fitting more jeans than he could count on his hands, they had found four pairs that looked good and was able to properly cover up even the fullest of diapers. As they made their way towards the checkout, Nick reflected on the experience and realised he hadn't felt this normal in quite a while. He was somewhat proud of himself for doing this despite being terrified not even an hour ago. Nick felt that the experience had made him stronger and less ashamed of who he was. Not that those moments were that special, Nick had experienced dozens of them since he started wearing diapers again. This one did feel more significant than most however. Wearing in public was the hardest part of being in diapers 24/7, and this was the first time he had felt at least somewhat normal while doing it. But as Nick saw the hot employee behind the counter, he realized he still had a long way to go. His diaper suddenly felt 10 times more noticeable, especially after fitting loose jeans that he wasn't able to wear yet. And of course she immediately turned her head and looked straight at him, all Nick could do was look away. When he finally built up the courage to look at her again, she was already helping another customer. Nick's heart was pounding in his chest as they got in line. He knew he could walk right past and wait for his mother outside, but he decided to face his fears. Once it was their turn to pay, Nick put the jeans on the counter but still wasn't able to look at her. Good taste, she noted. Dammit, Nick thought to himself, it would just be rude to not look up now. He looked up at her and mumbled a barely noticeable thank you. She smiled, but her eyes told the real story. They looked at him with a mix of pity and vicarious shame. And why wouldn't she. She had seen an 18 year old boy hide behind anything he could find and do anything in his power to avoid talking to her. She didn't even need to know he was currently wearing a massive adult diaper to think of him as a child in a teenagers body. That thought was almost too much for him, but he decided not to make more of a fool out of himself and succesfuly finished the purchase. As they walked out of the store, Jane scolded for acting like a wasted caveman. What must she think of us, she hissed at him. Nick could only stare at the floor and nod. He didn't really want to think about it, ever, but it was hard to escape the growing sense of both shame and guilt. He constantly felt like everyone was staring at him while they walked back to the car. All he could do was look down at the floor and ignore the world around him. At last they reached the car and drove off in silence. Nick spend the rest of the ride home reflecting on everything that happened. Clearly he wasn't as ready to face the world as a diapered young-adult as he had thought. Even using the term young-adult sounded wrong in his head, he felt like a toddler. The girls face kept flashing through his head. He didn't even know her name, and yet she had done more damage to his self esteem than most people. You did that all on your own, Nick had to remind himself. But had he though? When Nick looked back at the whole thing, it had almost felt like a diffrent entity, in the form of pure, unrestrained terror, had taken over his body. He had been completely overwhelmed by the humiliating experience of messing himself in public, having to buy new diapers while still wearing a messy one and then having to walk around with a massive diaper bulge under his pants. A regular person would have passed out from embaressement about halfway through. Nick had somehow navigated all of it thanks to a healthy mix of excitement and detachement, but that girl had been a reminder that he was still a teenage boy with regular wants and needs. That had activated his fight or flight instincts which had done more harm than good. Nick felt completely hollow and knew that this would be another experience to keep him up for quite a few nights. But it might also have been just been what he needed. It had shown him what happend if he lost control over his emotions, turning him into an actual child. Part of him wouldn't mind to give up control over them as well. It seemed so simple, to just let go of it all, act however he wanted and never care about what others would think of him. He would be little more than a toddler, both physicaly and mentally, but also completely carefree. Nick knew in his heart that it would make him deeply unhappy however. Despite having lost most of his bladder control, Nick still viewed himself as a grown-up deep down.  That was what made wearing diapers at his age so special in the first place, the fact that he wasn't suposed to. He liked the contrast between his regular life and the childisch padding around his rear. They represented to completely different mindsets and lifestyles that somehow had to co-exist. In the last few months, he had been slowly regressing from a regular teenager to a diaper dependent one. If he didn't stop, it could get much worse. It was exciting to experience what it was like to lose control over such an essential bodily function and have to rely on diapers. He still enjoyed it, but after spending multiple months wearing them more often than not, he was starting to get used to them. Even though these new diapers would also take some getting used to, eventually they would start to feel normal as well. Today's shopping trip, despite being disastrous, had reminded him that diapers weren't the only fun and exciting thing in the world. He had very much neglected his adult half, and right now, that part was screaming for attention. It wanted to have meaningful relationships, aquire new skills and explore the world. It didn't even matter if he did it while wearing diapers, his adult half just wanted something to do. Diapers didn't have to control his life, they could simply be a part of it, however large that part may be. Nick knew that being in diapers would make it harder to fullfill these desires. Who would want to be friends with somebody who wears diapers, not to mention being romanticaly interested. That was the trade-off he had made. Doing normal teen stuff would simply be harder to do, though not impossible. And in return, he got to experience something that none of those other experiences could ever give him: complete and utter comfort. As he sat in the car, suddenly feeling the need to pee and almost spontaniously filling his diaper, he knew he wouldn't want it any other way

Really well written, and not just for ABDL fiction standards!