Consequences of the Orange Mist: An Age Regression Virus Story (Chapter 26 - Complete)

[CDfm]

Wow,  hearing that there’s a strong possibility that this ARV is permanent for those dropping under puberty. Then knowing that you are already there and still falling would have been more than I could tolerate.  At least right then.  I would have had a meltdown for sure. They would have definitely had to ensure there was nothing sharp or dangerous in my near vicinity.  
I don’t think Amanda is going to get much better with Pete. It’s actually pretty funny to think that we have a cute little 5 year old girl who is a main villain in a story.  
I think that for Pete to find his snitch he needs to get one on one with each of the suspects and pass one different little bit of information to each and see what pops out. 
I am still loving the story and looking forward to seeing more. 

[BabySofia]

I think infasia may almost be a self-defense mechanism to deal with Amanda. It kind of makes sense because if they could get her to see him as nothing but a baby, she might turn into a reasonable human being. That being said... that girl has a long way to go, and if she doesn't make it is probably going to be a mess of an adult and teenager. (CDfm is not wrong in my mind - she's the primary villain at this point) I would be curious to see if this little arc of the terrorist group gets wrapped up there too before he goes under permanently? 

I'd personally rather he not end up permanently under the infasia at least, even if he does end up permanently a baby. Definitely could have been delivered better to them...

[Dirty Boy]

But why is Amanda mean to Peter? Yet before she regressed she seemed very affectionate with him.

Why do you think it's now a male brother that she used to adore? Maybe she's jealous that her parents are now focusing their attention on him and not on her?

[Craisler]

It’s beginning to look like Peter’s future is pretty hopeless.  With an increasing likelihood of him never being able to live a life commensurate with his adult intellect, in his situation, I’d be saying goodbye to Lucas and his parents.  Just give in to the infasia and sink in to the grave of infancy and pull the warm fuzzy cover over me.

[Dirty Boy]

Anyway ok the situation is difficult for the parents too, but they are really terrible, the only one who is saved in that family is Lucas. The mother seems happy to have her child back, the father is detached. Amanda who before seemed to adore her brother now seems jealous of him. Peter has already had the negative experience with Molly, who ok it is justifiable that he left her because she has the right to make a life for herself and a relationship between them was now impossible. However she wasn't a great girlfriend even before, she was always traveling and put work first instead of her relationship with Peter. In practice Peter is left practically alone to face all this

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! In retrospect, I think I might need to start placing stories in the polls that are holiday/event themed when I know I will be releasing on around them. I have a pretty interesting and fun story that would have worked really well for today, but oh well. Something to think about for the future, I guess.

Just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2 or 13. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer.

Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 20: Home is Usually a Safe Place

Essentially celebrating my own Independence Day a few days after the fact, I was grateful to finally get the chance to sleep in my own bed… or at least that’s what everyone kept telling me how I should feel when I found out on Thursday this week that I was finally going home. It was a wonderful milestone, I won’t deny that, but there was also a bit of solemn dread that washed over me as well. Yes, Amanda and I had kept the truce since I first meetup and my first subsequent slip into Infasia, and yes, my mom and dad and I were on better terms, and I felt cared for… but going back was bigger than just my relationships with my family.

Going back meant that I was deemed as stable enough in my mentality, or that at least the staff were no longer worried about me having a breakdown. And while that meant I was getting better and less likely to crack under the strain of ARV, it also meant that they felt I was now adjusting to being my new age… currently clocked in at less than 3 years old. Picking up a habit from Amanda when she was younger at least, I was two and three quarters… I think, to be specific. Foolish maybe, but at my younger age now, I quickly realized why she always insisted on halves and quarters growing up as she did… all that and every little month… it all contributed. For people so young, every little bit of maturity helped. Especially dipping under three now, it was also a sobering reality that a half or even a quarter of a year was equivalent to potentially ten percent of my life now just being overlooked if you only rounded to the year. So, yes, I was younger, but there was still a wide gulf between my current age and being a measly two years old exactly.  

Still, being placed into a category of one of acceptance, made me worry about what that meant for my future. Having increasing bouts of Infasia wasn’t helping either, and all totaled, I was worried that one day, I might soon lose track of who I am… or was I guess at that point. Miss Bea insisted that wasn’t going to be the case for me, and Gina did her best to agree as well from a medical viewpoint while Dr. Smothers tried to help me in her own way, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling. So, when I woke up this morning, knowing it was going to be the last morning I woke up here in the Linfield Building 4 crib, I almost didn’t want to go. Going meant everyone would know that I was accepting my life as a baby… at least physically. It was a lot to process all at once, so, needless to say, I made sure to give Poofin a big hug soon after.

Still, I had some cause to celebrate. Not only was I going home, but with Jeremy’s help, we were now able to narrow down the candidates for who the rat and likely ’87 terrorist was. Based on former professions and overall sentiments, Julia and Harriet were eliminated a few days ago with absolute certainty. Now, only Frank and Luna were left, but both were posing a challenge.

Both had been here long enough to meet the criteria, had the cultural background to join a rogue terrorist group, and yet both still had a lot of their past that no one else knew about either. Frank had been a prepper or survivalist, but it was hard to know where he was on Orange Day. Luna didn’t have any strong alibi for Orange Day, and while she seemed more of the peace and love type of person formerly belonging to a commune, she also spouted several phrases of a desire to ‘go back’ or connect with our roots again.

“So, you think it’s Luna or Frank?” Jeremy asked at my little farewell party that Miss Bea and Miss Josie were throwing me. Streamers hung from the walls and there was plenty of cake and other goodies to be had while fun and upbeat music played in the background.

“I don’t know… I just… what do you think?” Going home today, my head was spinning in all sorts of directions, and it was hard to focus on anything else.

Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know either, but Harriet had an interesting idea.” We both then turned to the former political operative, still wiping her cheeks from her previous bout of Infasia that left her to dive mouth first into the large chunk of vanilla cake with bright blue frosting.

“Ugh! I’ll never get this off my face at this rate!” she cursed. It took Jeremy clearing his throat to pop her back into what we were talking about. “Oh. Yeah… sorry. I’m thinking Frank. He’s got the attitude and just too many gaps.”

“I think iss Luna,” Julia noted, waddling over to us, a partially torn streamer clutched in her hand and floating behind her. She was still coming out of her bout of Infasia, so it was a little harder to tally her vote, but our group made it a habit to never just outright dismiss anyone. “She likes all dis baby tweatment an’ she even said her pwevious commune wanted to change evewything.”

It was a bit of a weak argument against Luna, but it was still evidence against her that most of the rest of us didn’t have. Before we could discuss the matter further, however, Miss Bea came over to us. “All ready to go, Pete? Your mom just called us and said she and the rest of your family are on their way.”

I looked back at my friends, and I think they all got the message, or were prompted by others who did, and left me alone with her. We had already said our goodbyes earlier, and now I had to prepare to go home. Looking back, I nodded. “Yeah… thank you for the party, but honestly, I’m really nervous about this whole thing.”

Miss Bea nodded and crouched closer to the floor to get near my level. “Oh? Still nervous about Amanda? You know, she is much better recently. Dr. Smothers has done some amazing work with her and got to some of the roots of her issues.”

“Yeah… well, that’s great, but…” I looked down at my diminutive form. It wasn’t the greatest loss of height, but about eight inches off the top since I last went home wasn’t anything to sneeze at. Plus, my diapered state was painfully obvious and then there came the public.

Miss Bea and Miss Josie had taken me on strolls around the block and had even seated me in a stroller and car seat as part of the program here to get me used to things in the outside world, but there was still a gnawing sensation as I looked forward to my life back home. Here, there was at least a safety net, and I was surrounded by those who at least understood from their profession, if not personal experience, of what I was going through. At home, it was a sobering thought that maybe only Poofin would know what I had gone through and seen all the loss and would be unbiased towards me. Yes, he wasn’t alive… my Infasia wasn’t that bad, but his constant and unjudgmental presence in my life was going to be hard to match.

I had trailed off a bit, and understanding as ever, Miss Bea just nodded and seemed to understand where I was coming from, likely from the hundreds of times she had seen this exact same scenario. “I understand, Pete. Just take all this one step at a time. Deep breaths and try to focus on the positives.”

Hearing a little buzz and seeing a yellow light flick on in the distance, I could see that it was obvious to me and Miss Bea that Gladys was letting us know that someone was at the front. Seeing the time, and barring any emergency, chances are, were almost 100% that it was my family.

“That must be them…” I nodded back in acknowledgement, another pit forming in my stomach. “You’ll be okay, Pete. Your family are good people… just maybe a little misguided sometimes. Teach them and gave them some time and some of your patience.” She then rubbed my arm comfortingly before standing back up. “Plus, just remember that ARSED should be coming around today or tomorrow for an inspection. Agent… Carlyle, I believe is coming over and he’s very professional. If there’s really a problem for you… he’s the one to find it, okay?”

“Okay…” My nerves were still going haywire within me, but I was at least more comforted by her words. So, taking her offered hand in support, a habit I had picked up to provide me with a constant source of comfort and guidance in a much larger world now, we both made our way to the front.

Confirming our assumption, Amanda and our parents were all standing and waiting for me. Oddly, Lucas seemed to be absent.

“There he is!” my dad called out first. We had been the same height before all this, but now… the man looked practically like a giant.

Amanda jerked toward me, but this time, my mom held her back. “Easy, sweetie. Let’s take this slow.” Like had clearly been practiced, Amanda then almost looked like she pushed her own energy aside and just smiled back at me.

Waving a little, she revealed a wide array of her own baby teeth, but I knew they wouldn’t last. Our family always seemed to be early in that development, and to be frank, it was a little reminder of the differences between us now. Knowing my bounce age approximately, I wondered which of us would gain new teeth first. Her with her new permanent adult teeth, or me gaining back my baby teeth. Regardless, I knew the time was coming up very shortly when I was about to start to lose a few of mine. In fact, my back molar already felt loose this morning. ‘Darn it…’

“Hey, Petey.” I could see her reserve holding, but I knew her five-year-old energy was still there.

It was a little terrifying to see someone almost a foot taller than you now be so eager to treat you like the baby you looked like, but still, I had to admire her restraint… especially compared to the past few times I had seen her. “Hey, Amanda. Thank you for holding back. All this is… a little weird still.”

My parents both smiled, and I could tell they were proud of both of us. Amanda for her restraint and me from my strength through all this. I knew they had to possess strength as well, but it wasn’t hard to see the growing trend of ARs that completely broke down as they were regressing. At this point, anyone who didn’t was being congratulated almost universally for beating the odds.

“Alright, I think that just about does it,” Lucas noted, stepping in now as well. “Sorry that took a little longer than usual. The car seat just didn’t want to buckle properly. Almost had to tear out a seat to get it in there.” He then paused and saw all of us staring at him. “What? I miss something?” Our parents rolled their eyes, and true to form, Lucas seemed to think nothing of it before waving to me. “Hey there, bro. Ready to go home?”

Looking up at Miss Bea, she smiled and nodded, boosting my confidence ever so slightly. Looking back at my family, it was my turn to nod. “Yes… let’s go home…”

Ten minutes later, I was on my way back to my childhood home… or at least I should say my home now for the past now almost seven months. I couldn’t believe all that had happened since, but sitting strapped in my new car seat, I knew I wasn’t done yet with all the changes in my life.

Fortunately, my parents cranked up the music and easily distracted my sister by singing some songs from her latest favorite animated movie rather than bugging me. Before they had, she was already buzzing with that previously pent-up energy about all the new changes to the house since I had last been there. Pushing beyond what I heard with those, I had to admit that some of the songs were actually a little catchy, but I was far more distracted by the life of the world still moving on outside my window.  

Like almost a metaphor of my, and most other AR’s lives now, the outside world was moving at seemingly breakneck speeds while we remained trapped. Already, Orange Day was getting further beyond everyone’s memory and knowing an AR was almost becoming commonplace. Likely, at least a few people in your family have been hit, and at least one is below the age of 18 now. People like me and the others from Building 4 were still more of an oddity in society, but considering my fate at the moment, I felt that was still a good thing. After all, as much as I hated diapers still, I knew they were necessary. And like it or not, when diapers are involved and one’s fingers aren’t the best or most dexterous, there will always need to be someone doing the changing of them.

Fortunately, my own regression was slowing and despite a few tears shed at Linfield, everyone knew I was coming back on Monday of next week. No matter if I liked it or not, the fact was that I now needed help in life. Linfield was an easy solution, and despite Building 4 essentially being a daycare during the day, people like Miss Bea and Miss Josie knew how to handle someone like me.

But that was just during the day, Monday through Friday. Turning the corner and seeing my home once more, I knew there was a whole other world now waiting for me. Only time would tell if my fears were unfounded or not.

So, pulling into the driveway and eventually being helped from my car seat, my feet touched the pavement of the driveway and then the steps into the house. It now seemed gargantuan and a looming terror in my life… ready to capture me back up and force me to live the days I thought had long passed me by. Having difficulty even stepping up the first step onto the front porch felt like an ill omen. Still, I was soon inside.

To my relief, not much had changed. I could sense that everyone in my family was waiting for any signs of distress, but I didn’t feel the need to freak out. To my surprise, even as I calmly walked around the house, everyone giving me at least a little space, I didn’t freak out when I noticed the small things here and there. For example, it was almost like flashing back to when Lucas or Amanda was much younger and that everything had been babyproofed. I might have put up a fuss, but Miss Bea had shot some footage of me in the midst of a bout of Infasia the other day. It wasn’t even for very long, and Dr. Smothers had some tremendous reservations about it, but fortunately, I didn’t embarrass myself too badly. What I did see though was me trying to eat paint. It wasn’t much in the grand scheme of Infasia incidents ARs suffered from, but it was enough for me to realize that the precautions I was seeing now weren’t for the version of me I was right then. The precautions were for the version of me that could get smacked with Infasia at any time and sink into its murky depths.

But all that was pretty standard. I had seen it before with my younger siblings when they were this age for real, so I knew I had to expect all that on some level. Maybe it bugged me a little, but it was at least understandable. As I wandered through the house more though, I began to get a little nervous about my future. Like it or not with what it looked like, Poofin was starting to feel like a life preserver in this tumultuous change in my life now.

Walking through the family room, I spotted a still folded playpen tucked away but still brought up from storage from when Amanda had last used it. Entering the kitchen, though pushed to the side and out of the way, I saw a highchair as well and found only a strange relief when I saw the booster seat at the kitchen table I was going to use instead. But all that paled in comparison to the upstairs.

True, there was no baby gate going up there, but I saw the old familiar latches at least drilled back into the wall and railing for the metal one they used with Amanda. The stairs were also a major pain, and I was absolutely winded by the top, but I had made it alone, and that had to count for something.

Then, looking into the bathroom, I noticed lotions, soaps, and shampoos… all listed for babies. My stool was now completely gone, smiling no-slip stickers in the shape of smiling baby octopuses dotted the bottom of the tub, but most damning of all… no training potty whatsoever. I knew I had to expect that, especially with the lack of control I was definitely now exhibiting, but it was my first real sign of change in the house.

Getting to my room next though, was the other.

A bounce age is a curious thing when dealing with ARV. As the weeks passed while I was staying in Building 4 at Linfield, I came to realize that one of the reasons that it was likely kept from me, besides all the others I had prattled off before, was that caregivers tended to plan for the long term. With ages seeming halted more often than not at a bounce age, planning for the future was everything. Sure, items still were needed in the interim but planning for what could be a stage lasting months or even years this go around was critical. So, I knew all that when I was seeing the highchair, or the hinges for the baby gate, or even the playpen in the family room. My room though… I should have expected a change, but I wasn’t prepared for what I saw next.

Clearly picking up from my love of hiking and the outdoors from my old life, the room… ‘Screw it’ nursery was decorated with various decals on the walls of cloudy mountains and fresh pine forests. The furniture itself was an array of oaken pieces, each matching, and each looking both infantile and rugged at the same time. Everything smelled fresh, but seeing the awaiting changing table, already stocked full, I wondered with horror just how long that was going to last.

“So… do you like it, sweetie?” my mom asked, bringing up the rear of the column that was my family. They had been following me everywhere still, and now in my new room, it seemed they couldn’t hold back any longer.

“It’s… it’s…” I really wasn’t sure what to tell them. ‘Oh, it’s ugly and I hate every bit of it, not because of the décor, but because it’s a reminder of everything I lost and can no longer do?’ No… all that just felt far too cruel for people that I knew were just trying to look out for me and make the best of this situation. Sure, would I maybe have liked rock and roll posters jammed in between copies of famous works of art? Maybe, but that wasn’t my reality today. Today, I needed to put my best foot forward and show my thanks. After all, with ARV, I could be under their care for a very long time. “Thank you…”

Relief clearly washed over everyone’s face, even including Amanda’s. Looking over to the bookshelf, I wondered if she had made any suggestions to what was lined there… especially after I spotted If You Give a Mouse a Cookie in between 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and All Quiet on the Western Front.

Walking into the room a little further, I saw that great care and attention had gone into everything. Fresh smells and the thick carpet made the room feel far more pleasant than in most of the time I had spent here since I had returned home. Touching a thick blanket draped over my soon-to-be crib, I admired its softness and more masculine colors. It was a small relief, but the feeling was there as well. I just… it was hard to rationalize in my mind that all this was now needed for my safety or comfort. “So… how long did it take for…?”

The doorbell then sounded and stopped me cold. Looking at my family, their faces turned about just as grave as mine. Knowing the time and the schedule, there really only was one candidate who could be at the door at this point: Agent Carlyle from ARSED to do his examination of our household here.

“Okay,” my dad said after taking a deep breath, “no one panic. We have nothing to hide and I’m sure we’ll all pass with flying colors.” I couldn’t help but notice his brief glance at Amanda, and I wondered just how in-depth his round of interviews was going to be for all of us.

So, without further ado, we all then made it downstairs. Just as my dad began to open the door, my mom appeared behind me and gave me a small hug. “Just relax, Pete. You have nothing to worry about. We’ve been preparing with the help of Dr. Smothers, Gina, and even Miss Bea. All you need to do is to answer his questions straight. Don’t lie and everything should be fine.” Touching her arm back in gratitude at her comforting words, I looked back at her, nodded, and then faced the front door once more… just in time for Agent Carlyle to come in.

While Agent Brooks had been the near epitome of hardened government agent, Agent Carlyle was anything but. His face had a few wrinkles, but they looked more like indentations from years of laughter and smiling than of hardship on the job. Carrying a briefcase, I even saw a few glances of sticker sheets contained inside. Looking down at a tablet in his hands, once the door opened, he looked back up at and smiled at everyone. “Good evening. Agent Carlyle from ARSED.”

In seconds, like had been long practiced, he whipped out his official ID badge and then repocketed it. “So, you all are aware… just in case, I’m here to conduct an official government inspection of your home and the household within now that you are undergoing the act of caregiving for one Peter Crichton.”

“Yes, sir, Agent Carlyle,” my dad responded curtly. His old days working with the military coming back sharply. “Here is right here.” My dad then gestured back toward me, and I could feel myself shrinking under this new agent’s glared, despite appearance, still a little worried that he was going to be similar to the abrasive and uncaring Agent Brooks. To be honest, I think Agent Carlyle picked up on that.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Pete.” He then crouched down a little to shake my hand, which I shook back, albeit it with some trembling hands. “It’s okay. You don’t need to fear me. I know you probably have a bad impression of ARSED from Agent Brooks, but I assure you… I go about my job very differently.”

He then stood back up. “For example, I know this can be a stressful event for everyone. So, what I would suggest, being that it’s such a nice day out, I would like to take one of the caregivers here on a tour through the house. Everyone else can wait outside and just relax. Once I’m done with the tour, I can come back and do the interviews, finishing off with you, Pete. Does that sound like a plan?”

The sigh of relief from everyone was very audible, eliciting a quick chuckle from everyone afterward, even me. “I would take that as a yes from all of us, Agent Carlyle,” my mom said, still stifling a slight giggle in her voice.

“Perfect.” He then stepped inside and set his briefcase down. “I’m just going to set this here for now. Just need my tablet for this first part.” My parents nodded before he turned back to them. “Now, which of you wants to do the tour? And just for the record, this is more of a strict, is it there or not situation. Elaboration on anything will be done for both of you will be done during the interview process.”

My parents nodded and then looked at each other. Glancing quickly at Amanda and I, both seemed in agreement. “I guess I’ll be the one to take you on a tour. Meanwhile, Karen can get us all something to drink and calm everyone down out back.”

“Excellent!” Already, I could tell the difference with Agent Carlyle from Agent Brooks. Like a little teapot, I could feel the previous pent-up steam of anxiety building inside of me quickly whistling out. “Let’s start upstairs, shall we?” Nodding, both Agent Carlyle and my dad then disappeared up the stairs.

So, shuffling each of us out, Lucas and our mom all then gathered in the backyard. Amanda seemed perfectly content with playing with her tea set while my mom, Lucas, and I all talked about various things that were on our minds. My mom vented about her book club, Lucas vented about the job market, and I vented about the rat at Linfield. Hearing about them before, both Lucas and our mom had a few suggestions that I was eager to try out when I went back on Monday.

“… and that’s about it for in here,” my dad said, finishing up the tour while Agent Carlyle busily scribbled and dotted inside his tablet. I would have given just about anything to see what was in there, but I knew the big moment had now arrived.

“Lemonade?” my mom offered Agent Carlyle as he finally looked up from his tablet.

“Oh,” he said, seeming pleasantly surprised. “Don’t mind if I do. Thank you, ma’am.” He took a long swig of the lemonade and then nodded back to my mom. “Ah! That’s some good stuff. Thank you.” He wiped his lips quickly and then gestured back to my dad. “Okay… I’ll start with you. We already started talking a little bit, so I just need to finish a few questions, then no problem, okay?”

“Sounds good.” My dad had no fear, and his confidence was a breath of fresh air from the previous times I had seen him. I wondered if he talked to Dr. Smothers as well, but his previously reserved demeanor was gone and his more serious at times while jovial at others was back. “Now, where do you want to do this?”

Agent Carlyle checked his tablet and scrolled a little bit through it. “Hmmm… unless you have any objection, how about the living room? It’s far enough away from back here to give us some privacy, and if my eye was any good, the seating in there looked mighty comfortable.”

“Sounds like a plan.” My dad then gestured back inside. “After you…” Agent Carlyle nodded and retreated back inside to start the interviews.

So, one by one, every member of the family went before me. After Lucas, feeling he might have a chance at telling me what was discussed, I poked at him a little. “So… what did you talk about? Anything weird? Or problematic maybe that I should know about?”

To my surprise, he leaned over and pressed his pointer finger to his lips. “Shhh… not so loud. None of us are allowed to talk about what he asked us. I want to tell you, Pete, but I’m not messing around with ARSED. Agent Carlyle seems nice, but… maybe the others are more like Agent Brooks. I mean, do you really want to deal with an agency full of people like him?”

I had never thought about it that way, so I only backed up and shook my head. Feeling a little fear now, I remained quiet the whole time and tried to distract myself with almost anything else. Fortunately, it was Amanda’s turn right then and she soon returned. Seeing her even smiling for a second and sporting a ‘Good Job’ sticker on her shirt now, I felt things must not have gone too bad.

Still, when Agent Carlyle scanned the backyard and quickly found me, I felt a tiny knot twisting in my stomach. “Alright, Pete. Last but not least. Come on back.” Nodding, I stood on shaky legs and followed him inside.

Getting to the living room, he gestured to the couch. “Please, have a seat…”

It was a little difficult, but I managed to hoist myself up on it after a little bit. Sadly, right then, I might have preferred one of the multicolored plastic chairs from Linfield that I ate my breakfast in usually to that whole display. At least with the chair, despite how it looked, I could at least sit normally… or at least how I used to. Climbing up on the couch and then sitting back on the cushions, my feet now barely hanging over the edge, I felt even more childish than usual.

“Alright… let’s see here…” I saw Agent Carlyle looking over a thick manilla folder, one that was clearly marked with my name and a few other labels and numbers. “Peter Crichton… looks like they misdiagnosed you initially, but then… oh yes. Looks like your parents withheld your diagnosis of ‘under three’ until you were already going down from Building 3 to Building 4, huh?”

“Yes… that’s right…” I didn’t like being reminded of that fact, but I knew this question was coming.

“So, how’d that make you feel?” he asked first. “Do you harbor any bad feelings toward them for doing that to you? Must have been very frustrating to be left out of something that is so consequential to your life.”

I sighed and I knew he was probing me for weaknesses or potential spots of worry between me and the rest of my family. Considering the position that both my parents were in over me now, I knew I couldn’t take it personally. “No… at least not anymore. I asked them both about it, but I felt it was my mom who pushed for it.”

“So, you have feelings of anger toward her?” he asked, probing again.

I shook my head. “No. Again, not anymore. She did what she did, and I won’t lie… I held a lot of resentment toward her, but we were able to push past that. I mean… look at me. I need help these days and even getting on this stupid couch was a challenge. I remember that I used to just plop down on this thing after school ten years ago, but now…”

“Okay, so fences are mended with your parents.” He began to scribble down a few notes in his tablet. “But what about coming back here. All good there? Or is it strange to be back in a place you grew up the first time?”

Definitely strange,” I admitted. “I might have chosen to do all this elsewhere, but I know the neighborhood. It’s safe and it worked growing up the first time. Of all the things I would choose to change, living in this place would be near the bottom of the list.”

Agent Carlyle seemed genuinely shocked about my comments, but he seemed to be more accepting of them the more he asked and the more I answered truthfully. Sure, his questions about diapers or the furniture in the house or my new room caught me off guard and I got a little uncomfortable, but I pushed through them with ease… at least until we got to my sister.

“Now, I talked with Amanda at length. You should know,” he said with a twinkle in his eye, “she seems very excited about her new baby brother.”

Again, I knew he was probing, and for all I knew, he could have been lying as well, but with the information I had at hand, it didn’t seem like it, so my feelings of dread soon bubbled to the surface once more. “She… she did?”

Agent Carlyle leaned forward. “She did. In fact, I think she plans on involving you in some of her activities of play. She says she even has a list. I didn’t see it, but I don’t think she was lying either.”

“No,” I said pitifully, “I don’t think she would lie about something like that. I’m guessing she mentioned something about playing house?” Agent Carlyle nodded. “And maybe save the damsel in distress?” It was a bit of a stretch, but Agent Carlyle nodded once more. I wanted to ask him something I knew was untrue, just to test if he was faking me out, but maybe I didn’t want to know the truth of it all… or maybe I just forgot. Either way, I felt the burden of my sister once more.

It all made me wonder when she would finally drop the sibling rivalry act and play the good ‘older’ sister to me like I had when I was her older brother in all ways before. Because of our age gap, sibling rivalry was never a legitimate issue between us, so I always treated her with respect and as a friend and confidante against our parents whenever she needed it. I guess I was just hoping she was going to return the favor sometime soon in our new roles.

“I… all that’s not the greatest news, but she’s my sister, and I trust her…” I wasn’t sure if I fully believed that or not, but I knew she was also a little girl in all ways still. She was still growing and learning, and I knew that Dr. Smothers and our parents would guide her along. Talking with Agent Carlyle today, I didn’t want to give her a black mark in the ARSED logbooks. It was a risk I’ll admit, but I just hoped my trust in her would pay off. “Well, at least that I want to trust her and will give her that chance.”

“Hmmm…” Agent Carlyle seemed a little surprised, but didn’t push the matter any further, only writing more notes in his tablet. “I’m surprised but that, Pete. Pleasantly surprised, mind you, but surprised.” Writing a few more notes, he finally shut his tablet.

“Well, congratulations on making it to the end. I know all this is a big pain and a major stressor, and I’m sorry if that caused you to get Infasia at any point, but I assure you it’s necessary,” he said, looking a little relieved to be done as well. “I just want to make sure that you’re going to be safe here… even if that means taking you away from family. Still, it’s all over now, but just one more thing for you personally.”

He then reached into his suit pocket and plucked out a card. “This is for you and you alone. Keep it with you and follow the instructions on the back if you ever need help or advice on something,” he explained as I saw a series of codewords and telephone numbers. “Try to memorize those and use them if you need to speak to me.” I soon pocketed the card and made a mental note to memorize it later.

“Going forward, I will be your case officer for as long as I’m with ARSED and you have ARV. Could be months, could be years, but if you need something, I’ll be there. And I think you’ll be grateful for this, but going forward, if there is an issue either her, Linfield, or anywhere else, I’ll be the agent responding… not Agent Brooks. Now, any questions?”

I was sure I had a million, but right then, I couldn’t think of any. So, instead, Agent Carlyle led me back out to the rest of my family. “Alright, everyone. That should do it!” Again, I could hear the relief exhale with everyone in the backyard. “One of you will still need to attend regular counseling sessions on Wednesdays with Pete, but I also don’t see that being an issue. For now, though, my official grading and recommendation will be filed in the next day or so, and you should all get the official notification the day after that, but for now, unless I find anything else back at headquarters, you all passed.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” my mom gushed. “Thank you so much, Agent Carlyle.”

“Yes, thank you very much,” my dad reciprocated, going out to shake his hand. Lucas and Amanda made a few remarks after, and Agent Carlyle even patted his pocket to mirror where I had stashed his card as a reminder before he left regarding his personal services to me. Then getting escorted out, we all waved goodbye, but he then strangely pulled my mom aside.

She seemed shocked, but then almost relieved and elated. It was confusing to say the least, but my head started scrambling about when he handed her a small slip of paper. I couldn’t hear much, except for one little snippet: “As we discussed…” But then, just as soon as he arrived, with a quick wave of goodbye, Agent Carlyle departed.

“So, what was all that about?” my dad asked my mom, seemingly distracted by the slip of paper in her hand.

“Oh, nothing, dear…” My dad was clearly about to ask something more, but my mom frowned and looked at him dead in the eyes. “Maplewood.” It was so strange, but in seconds, my dad only nodded and left the room, not saying another word.

By then, my head was trying to puzzle out everything, but it was no use. Between my dad’s outright dismissal and Luke’s need to go, my brain just couldn’t focus on it for very long at all. It was annoying, but then, my mom distracted me further. “Hey. It’s a beautiful day outside. How about we go to the park? Just you, me, and Amanda, while Dad finishes a few things up for work. Maybe after we can all go out to eat to celebrate?” I wanted to press her about the slip of paper, but going outside and the prospect of a night eating out seemed too superb for me to start complaining, so I left it alone… still nestled in the back of my mind.

Gratefully, my ability to walk was still intact and the park wasn’t that far. Unfortunately, it also made me realize that my ability to walk long distances was now severely curtailed, already getting a little winded once we got to the playground. Also, getting there, after seeing it for months now as a center for AR and normal kids alike, I was now about to amongst them.

In another strike in the loss column though, I noticed that kids, even ARs can be very selective and cliquey. While high school might have been divided between theater kids, or the jocks, or the nerds, here it was divided pretty evenly among the age groups and abilities. At my age range though, it became readily apparent that my group had all succumbed or were succumbing to Infasia.

“Oh… do I have to go over to them?” I asked my mom right after Amanda fled to go hang out with kids her own age. “They’re so…” I decided not to finish that sentence, fearing it would just set me up for being called a baby in public. “Can’t I just walk around the perimeter of the playground? I…”

“No, Pete,” my mom said firmly, looking over briefly to the other moms there. “I’m sorry, but there’s just too many kids out here today. One of them could knock you down and with your size… well, it wouldn’t be good.” Looking over though, I could tell she didn’t like my options either. “Well… maybe interact with some of the ARs in the group a little older? They look friendly, right?”

I was very hesitant, but I didn’t want to argue with her in such a public place. That would only mark me as an AR, which I was, but I wasn’t comfortable announcing that to everyone. Hopefully, I looked different enough that I wouldn’t draw too much attention and cause a sce…

“Hey!” a roughly eight-year-old kid called out to me, going as far as to even block my path to the other ARs. “You’re an AR, right?” Wanting to get this over quickly, I just nodded. “Heh… yeah. I thought so. My uncle’s an AR… Now he poops his pants all the time. Do you do that, baby?”

I could tell the kid was just a garden variety bully and trying to get a rise out of his newest victim. Looking around for support from the other ARs and even kids his age, his fear seemed palpable. He was just another example of how something so minor from a year ago, now seemed insurmountable. Guaranteed, a year ago, I could have flicked the kid, and he would have gone running. That might have even been the case six months ago, but now… I could only stare at his large mass in fear of what he might do to me.

“Please,” I pleaded, much to my shame, but also my only option with so few left to me. “Please, just let me go and see the other ARs and…”

The kid then poked me… hard and right in the shoulder. “I said… do you poop your pants, baby?” His friends, minions, cronies, whatever… all snickered around him. He seemed to enjoy the attention and pushed me again. I could already feel the emotion welling up behind my eyes.

It wasn’t good, but I felt like I was trapped between two terrible places. If I stayed, I would have to surrender to his will or get pummeled after I would try to stand up to him. If I left though… my only option to do that was to call out for my mom to come rescue me. I would definitely be marked as a baby then in his and everyone else’s eyes forever after.

“No,” I said with some confidence, though I knew it was partially a lie. After all, Infasia was me, but it was another side to me as well, and apparently, there had been a few times… “No, I do not poop my pants. Now please… let me through.”

“Hmphh!” The bully seemed less than impressed and only blocked my way beyond his reach further. “Bet you sleep with a stuffed animal! Bet you suck on a pacifier!”

“Please…” Unlike before, I couldn’t claim I didn’t with either. Yes, Poofin was more of a comfort item than the true definition of a stuffy that he was going for and the pacifier was really thrust on me by others, but I couldn’t exactly say no to either one either.

“Ha!” the bully exclaimed, now looking positively elated. “I knew it! Baby! Baby! Baby!” His taunts were childish, but their implications were much tougher to push through.

“Am not!” I said, a bit louder than I had before. Quickly, several on the playground looked over at us. Coincidentally, I didn’t find out until later, but a very particular set of eyes landed on me right then as well… and they were not pleased with what they saw unfolding.

“Are too!” I don’t think the bully very much cared for my defiance of them. To him, it seemed like everyone here was either a kid or a baby, regardless of ARV or not, and that was it. So, from his perspective, he was getting disrespect from a tiny baby. His ego being likely twice the size he was, it was probably too much. So, in typical bully fashion, he resorted to shoving me.

I tried to ignore him, and still seeing myself as the mature one between us, I felt that shoving back just wasn’t an option for me. So, I let him. A second… third… and even fourth time. The fifth though… I felt more of force behind that one, and I stumbled backward.

Unfortunately for us both, there just happened to be one of the fake wooden barriers keeping the mulch inside of the playground. Sticking right up and in my path, I didn’t see it, but it stayed right where it was… and tripped me over… right on my butt.

My diaper absorbed most of the blow, but I think it was all just a combination of everything that had happened that day. Leaving Linfield and coming home… the inspection… the fear of Amanda and my mom overstepping… ARSED and the possibility of failure and being placed with another family. It was a lot, and now, I was getting picked on by a bully and had just fallen. Maybe it was the start of a new wave of Infasia, or maybe my Infasia was a byproduct. I might never truly know…

I just know that I started crying.

It wasn’t very loud, but it quickly made a scene amongst the playground people. Not really knowing anyone though, it took a second for a few to flee to go find an ‘adult.’ Clearly, in their eyes at least, I didn’t qualify as one anymore.

But right about then, I began to feel the fuzziness in my head. ‘Oh no… not now… please not now…’ But Infasia waited for now begging or pleading. It didn’t care about wants, likes, or conveniences. If it truly was a protective mechanism of the brain, it just knew that I was under attack today and this bully had pushed it just far enough to activate.

I began to feel the buzzing sensation I had felt a few times before all over my body. It made me want to giggle, and maybe if I hadn’t landed so hard on my butt, I might have. Maybe if I hadn’t felt the squish in my diaper, I would have. Maybe if the bully and his friends weren’t now laughing at me, I would have. I’m not sure, but I just felt the world quickly slipping away. Before I fully went under though… I heard one last shout. “Hey you! Get away from my…!”

And that was it.

This time with my bout of Infasia, it wasn’t a complete blackout. It was more like the world was now being viewed through a fogged barrier and that my ears were clogged like being underwater. Time seemed to move fast, and everything became bits and blurs of what it likely really was.

Funny smell. Yelling. Laughing. Screaming. More laughing. More yelling. Strange but familiar smells. Cooing. Funny faces or words. A breeze. Laughter. Cuddling. Wetness. Dryness. Warmth. More laughter.

It didn’t make much sense, but I just felt relief on the one hand and complete terror the next. I knew things were happening, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Thinking back to Agent Carlyle, his need to ensure a place where I could trust my caregivers and the environment made so much more sense now. If any part of that was dangerous, sure, I could have fought it or resisted normally, but under Infasia…? All that was a pipe dream at best.

Like before though, I blinked my eyes and things started to come back to me. A soft but almost plastic feeling underneath me. Light shining in. Sweet smells combined with a floral scent that tickled my nose. Laughter and joy now replacing all my previous fear.

First thing I noticed though, was Amanda looking right at me… more specifically, prancing one of her dolls around me. It was a little confusing, but I saw my arm almost move on its own as it pranced around while holding Poofin. It was very strange, but soon, I got control back of my arm and stopped. Amanda frowned but then leaned in and looked deep into my eyes.

“Mom!” she yelled behind her. “Petey’s back! Or… I think he is?”

I heard a few noises from the kitchen, and soon, my mom was back on the scene and crouching down to look at me. “Pete? You back, sweetie?”

“Back? What do you…?” I felt like I was finally bursting forth from being submerged deep underwater for so long. I knew it was Infasia, but even in that state, I couldn’t have identified that word if my life had depended on it. “Oh…”

“It’s okay, Pete. You just slipped in at the playground,” my mom explained stroking my shoulder tenderly while looking at me with thoughtful yet concerned eyes. “We stayed for a little bit and then we came back here. Amanda offered to keep you company.”

“Yeah… I kind of noticed.” Considering the ‘prancing’ nature of my arm with Poofin when I came to, I could only assume that I had been playing make believe of some kind with her in my stupor back here. It wasn’t the worst, but it stung a little knowing what I had done while under. Most of the time back at Linfield, most of my friends just let me be and ride it out. Here, though, it seemed I wouldn’t be getting quite the same reprieve.

Unfortunately, I think my tone seemed to imply that I hated our time together and that I was even offended over what happened between us. So, being who she was, Amanda took off back upstairs. “Shoot. Did I…?”

My mom shook her head. “No. You didn’t say anything directly to her while you were under, but I think…” I could sense her hesitancy for likely revealing what had fully happened to me while under.

“Go on,” I pressed. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know, but I knew I needed to repair my relationship with Amanda now that I was back home. Seeing this as an opportunity I couldn’t miss, I knew I had to push through my own feelings and find out.

“Well… she saw you get pushed over by that bully and ran to your rescue just in the nick of time,” she started to explain. Instantly, I could already feel a pang of guilt. “I think her work with Dr. Smothers got her to the point where she now just wants to be protective of you. So, when she saw you get knocked over, she stepped in and started a little fight with the bully. It wasn’t very long as I got to them before too much happened, but… well, I think she might have turned a corner with you.”

“And the dolls and Poofin?” I asked, still holding my fuzzy companion tight in my arms.

“Nothing too big,” she noted to my relief. “Just some fun between you two. You were a little sad after we came back here, and I changed your diaper. I think she just wanted you to smile again so she grabbed Poofin and started playing with you.”

“Oh…” I then looked over to the stairs and knew what I had to do. “I guess I need to go thank her. I…” I suspected that while Dr. Smothers was effective, there was another factor at play in her change of attitude toward me, but I didn’t want to hear it confirmed. Sighing, I knew I had to ask though. “Do you think it’s because she views me as a baby now?”

My mom’s previous comforting smile diminished a little, and through her grimace, she nodded. “Yes… at least a little.”

It wasn’t the best news I could have heard all day, but my mind began to click, and soon, I knew I was just going to have to file it under a ‘would you rather’ situation. Others of the type now included diapers instead of wet pants, Poofin rather than terror at night, or a car seat to keep me safe when traveling in the car now.

Still, while I wasn’t sure how to fully feel about that notion, other than maybe as a new necessity of my life, having my sister view me as a baby but also ensuring her to play with me and protect me, I knew I had to thank her. So, leaving my mom, I cuddled up Poofin more tightly and began my trek upstairs. I wasn’t sure how our conversation was going to go, but it gave me just enough time to begin processing everything.

I was home now and everything had changed. My family and I had passed the ARSED inspection, and we were now clear to live our lives as best we could going forward. And maybe that was what was making me so nervous… the freedom and lack of restriction of everything. It meant that anything was possible now, and that lack of strict control felt scary… but maybe also liberating. After all, under this new life, a completely random encounter today had led Amanda to assume her ‘older’ sister role and even go out of her way to protect and then entertain me. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing going forward, but for today, I just knew I had to be thankful for that little change at least.

[Pierry Louys]

Curious to see Pete reaction when he have a proper baby bedtime routine with a tub bath being dried in cute towels and changed in a thick overnight diaper and footed pajamas to sleep with his stuffy and pacifier , and see his family reaction of this routine 

[CDfm]

Awesome chapter. I was pleased to see that the translation back home was actually pretty smooth. I know Pete had to be upset about some of the changes to his home. Especially his room but I think he knows his family was thinking of him and were trying hard to make these changes as easy as possible. I was also very happy to see that Amanda stood up for her little brother and she isn’t bullying him but rather just being a good big sister to him. 
I am looking forward to seeing more. 

[BabySofia]

Good girl, Amanda! 

That was a better transition to home than I feared. It does seem like that agency may at least be trying to keep a lid on problems there. Thanks for the new chapter! 🙂

[SkippyYote]

Now the burning question. What is "Maplewood"?

[Dirty Boy]

I didn't understand if the ARs, once they reach the limit of regression, then start growing again or remain children. anyway it's clear that they're still hiding something from Peter. since even Lucas didn't tell Peter what they talked about with the agent

[CDfm]

2 hours ago, Dirty Boy said:

I didn't understand if the ARs, once they reach the limit of regression, then start growing again or remain children. anyway it's clear that they're still hiding something from Peter. since even Lucas didn't tell Peter what they talked about with the agent

During an investigation such as this the person conducting it wants to keep all the parties involved separated so they can’t compare their stories.  To get to the truth you talk to everyone separately and without them talking to each other as much as possible.  If you are unable to physically separate them then you inform them that they are not allowed to talk to each other. 

[Dirty Boy]

Let's say that these controls make sense, they must ensure that the regressed adults are not abused even psychologically. It must be said that this new agent knows how to do his job treating Peter with dignity and speaking to him as an adult, unlike Brooks who is a real asshole.

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone!

Took a little time to look at the rest of the chapters here and I can now officially confirm that this story will in fact conclude at 26 chapters. I was pretty sure it was going to be before, but I hadn’t fleshed a few of the later chapters out until yesterday. I also wasn’t exactly sure how I wanted to wrap up a few plot points, but I’m about 90% sure that I figured out the best way to conclude them with how I wanted to showcase this story. I think a few of you might think that it’s a little on the safe side, but I think it really highlights why I called this story what I did, so I’m pretty happy with it in the end.

Next, just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2 or 13. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer.

Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 21: A Daycare by Any Other Name

So, little known fact about Infasia… yes, it would help preserve your mind, and yes, it wasn’t exactly a result of ARV, but it took away from you in very much the same way. ARV was the basis and as you regressed, your abilities began to match your body… except for a few select skills that relied on more than just a physical shape. For example, in art, my hand wasn’t exactly the steadiest anymore, so my creations began to turn into more Impressionistic pieces than those of realism. And honestly, after losing everything else, maybe it was the fact I was able to keep some semblance of my old life, but I was okay with that change.

The problem with Infasia though, is that it combines with the normal regression process and slowly strips your physical abilities simply because you aren’t using them while under its sway. The initial bout of Infasia can cause a whole stream of new problems and disabilities one never experienced before, and while that itself isn’t necessarily a problem, it’s like the first domino getting knocked over. And once they begin to fall, like trying to stem the water once the floodgates are opened, it was very hard to truly stop the process… so, inevitably things just started to get worse.

So, while I was worried that being home was going to rob me of all my preciously obtained abilities over the years simply because of the potential infantile treatment by the neighborhood, Amanda, or even our mom, I was losing things simply from my own progression and protection mechanism. Infasia was a good thing in protecting my mind, but it was coming at the cost of most everything else. And, what’s more, now that I was undergoing it, I began to notice the same problem in anyone with ARV around me.

But by the end of the month, things had just started to become routine. Simple things really, but each day was starting to blend into the next while I went back to Linfield. I saw my friends, I was picked up and dropped off nearly at the same time from Linfield, and home life was surprisingly becoming more stable as well. Weekends were another matter, but as I woke up in my room for yet another day back at Linfield, I was almost starting to get a sense of excitement from it all. I couldn’t control a lot, but what I could, I knew I had to embrace. With that type of mindset, it didn’t take long for me to look forward to even the smallest of things… like seeing my friends once more.

“Oh! Looks like someone’s up, huh?” my mom asked, strolling into my room not long after I had woken up. “Better get a move on today. There’s no telling how traffic is going to be this morning, and I know you hate being late to see your friends.”

With my eyes only around halfway open, I nodded listlessly as she came over and dropped the side of my crib and plucked me out. My diaper getting pressed into me, I knew I was wet… as usual, so it wasn’t any surprise that my mom soon deposited me on the changing table. “Hmmm… let’s see… are you Pete or my little Petey this morning, huh?”

I dreaded what was coming next, but I knew it was a fair question, and I knew she had to check. See, with increasing regularity, my Infasia was cropping up more times throughout the day. Stress still did it, but it seems now that whenever my mind didn’t need to actively play itself out, it would slip into another bout. Keeping active kept it at bay, but sleep was another big culprit to trigger it off. Fortunately, this morning I was still me. Unfortunately, that meant I endured my mom’s humiliating but quite effective test.

“And is my little Petey here to play?” she asked in her most babyish and cooing voice ever. I internally groaned, but I knew she needed her proof to see how to handle things in the morning with me now. So, I could only watch as her finger descended onto my torso and began to tickle me in all my most ticklish spots.

Now, yes, it tickled as it always did… even Molly knew that, but my reaction to it was everything for my mom. So, yes, I giggled a little bit but quickly put my hands to block her and stared directly at her. “Stop… please…” It was hard to get the words out some mornings, even when I was fully myself, but my mom and I had established a pretty good routine by now. It took a few tries, but our communication on this matter at least was pretty solid. Doing it multiple times also, I bore her no ill will, knowing now that it was important for her to check.

Knowing why myself now, I knew that being ‘Pete’ meant I knew who I was. I was aware of my surroundings and could differentiate between string and electrical wires. I knew not to drink shampoo or to definitely close my eyes in the tub to not get water in them. There were countless things I knew from years of habits and learning… but ‘little Petey’ not so much. For example, snapping out of Infasia in the middle of a change last week, my mom had strapped me to the changing table. Apparently, ‘little Petey’ was quite the roller. It was just a safety thing, so as soon as I let my mom know I was ‘back,’ she released me. Nowadays, I knew for a fact that it wasn’t personal… it was just keeping me safe.

So, for this morning, because I was truly me, my mom only proceeded to strip me of my pajamas and diaper and wrap me up in a towel without comment. Using my diaper and the need for a good wash in the tub was important, but she knew how to protect my humility as well when I was still ‘me.’ In Infasia, because I really wasn’t sure all that happened then, I wasn’t confident my humility was protected as much… a fact that plagued my dreams more often than not lately. ‘But seriously… what could I do to stop her even if I wanted to? How would I even know?’ So, I just had to accept life as it was more often than not and then focus on the parts I could still change.

Still, being me, she settled into the tub and left me to my own devices. My mom was initially against leaving me alone, but I was able to convince her that I was still capable of self-autonomy and regulation when I was ‘me.’ I had to agree to a baby camera in the bathroom, and I wasn’t a fan of that, but as long as I didn’t look up, I sometimes even forgot it was there… at least until my mom came back in only about a minute after I had washed the last bits of my body.

Plucking me out of the tub, I was promptly dried and pulled back into my room for a swift diaper change. This morning’s number was adorned with laughing Disney characters… certainly not the worst ever. Still, routine as ever, my mom then pulled out a tape measure and jotted down a few measurements in a logbook she kept nearby. “About 34, almost 35 inches today. That’s right about in line with where you were when… when, uh…”

I sighed, still sprawled out on the changing table. “When I was this age again… yeah… I know.” Again, it was best to just accept these things and move on quickly.

My mom grimaced for a second though before helping me up into a seated position. “I know all this is a pain and maybe a little hurtful, Pete, but Dr. Faulkner insisted on us taking your measurements at least every other day and recording them down. We need to get a good idea of just how old you are and to check if you’re accelerating or slowing down. According to this measurement and comparing it to the previous ones though, it looks like you’re slowing down. Isn’t that great, sweetie?”

“Yeah… brilliant.” It was good news, and I knew that without a doubt, but I was still regressing. Yes, my age range of between a year and a half to two years old was still in place, but I was really hoping I would land on the upper end of that spectrum. For every day I wasn’t slowing significantly, it also meant a real chance of winding up on the lower end instead.

But my mom was getting the hang of facial tics and when to push and when not to these days. It saved a lot of arguing and likely seeing I didn’t want this to be pushed further, she continued to dress me for the day. Opting for some simple items, my shorts and the single pocket square on my T-shirt matched nicely in their dark blue and white patterns. Two socks and two shoes later, I was all set, my hair already being combed out after being dried off and my need to shave having long disappeared.

Downstairs at breakfast, Amanda was greedily munching her cereal, and I was popped into my booster seat right next to her. Nearby, the highchair still loomed and every time I sat down here, I was just grateful it had yet to see any use.

“Daddy takin’ me to preschool today?” she then asked, after swallowing an enormous bite of cereal, leaving behind a few rivulets of milk on either side of her mouth.

My mom nodded. “That’s right, sweetie. Linfield is almost always easier for me and your Daddy’s work is right on the way to your preschool. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take you both in, okay?”

Amanda nodded but then asked the question she had started to ask about once a week now. “Is Petey ever gonna come with me?”

She didn’t say as to where I was going to come with her, but hearing the question a few times now, no one needed to clarify that anymore. Looking up from his tablet with the morning news, our dad sighed and shook his head. “No, Amanda. We talked about this, remember? Pete’s going to a special school and will be for a long time.” At one point he elaborated on the future, but that always led to more questions. I think for my sake and his, he just left all that pretty vague now. In my new dwindled state, I had quickly learned that sometimes, the unanswered question for my future was better than the one you did know.

Like always, Amanda didn’t seem happy about that, wanting to take her ‘younger’ brother along like some of other friends did. Of course, they were actually babies or toddlers and went to her school’s version of a daycare during the day, but I’m not sure how much that actually mattered to her. Still, for me, it was an oddity I couldn’t help but notice.

Amanda was five and July would soon be over. And while there was a lot of buzz around it, I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about Amanda starting Kindergarten in just about a month now. I knew I had to get used to these things, but it was a hard line to fathom… especially since I hadn’t even bounced yet. For me, there was a real possibility that she would be hitting middle school before I was even at the age of going to kindergarten at this point. True, most ARs didn’t have to go again, but the notion of even the possibility of that scared me something awful.

Still, a quick dash of breakfast and the house had soon dispersed. Amanda was with our dad, and they pulled out first. I went with my mom, second, as she had to take longer to ensure that I had everything needed for the car ride and my day at daycare. Sadly, that included her buckling me into my car seat, my fingers no longer the most apt at fidgeting with those buckles anymore, and the inclusion of my day bag. Despite it being what it was, I still was having trouble calling it my diaper bag. Not everything was so easy to get used to…

“Have fun at Building 4 today, sweetie. I’ll see you again tonight at 5,” my mom said, waving goodbye as she dropped me off a little later at the front desk with Gladys, the days of her just simply dropping me off from the carpool lane long gone. Also, despite appearances to call it other names, everyone in my family kept calling it ‘Building 4.’ As I waved goodbye and was let into the main area through the door back there as usual now, it was getting harder for mind to register this place as anything other than a daycare.

Sure, the new ARs still stayed overnight, and many chose to eat breakfast, lunch, and even sometimes dinner as well, but every other item before me screamed ‘daycare.’ Changing tables, countless toys, and stations for feeding, handwashing, and posters everywhere about the most basic things were among the top contenders. Plus, with Infasia running rampant, those attending didn’t create much of an argument for this place being labeled as much else either.  

Once inside, I found my friends and settled down to wait for two things. First, there was a cursor diaper check. While most were changed before they got here and arrived clean and dry, those in the midst of Infasia often used their diapers pretty regularly… especially after breakfast. So, as much as I still wasn’t a fan, I lined up with my group and my shorts were lowered to check my diaper along with everyone else. I might have been a little damp, but I was declared well enough to go on with my day. Second though, we were all waiting for everyone to get here so as few as possible would miss the much celebrated ‘circle time.’

Becoming a quickly loved tradition by even the most staunchly ‘adults’ here, introductions were always a good time to relax and unwind before the day began. Most days though, circle time was loved due to the inclusion of both song and story time. Today, singing the hokey pokey, it was also a great way to shake off the morning and any nerves one had about staying here today.

For me, while I was hesitant at first, I knew it was the best way to start any day here. “…and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.” I loved the spinning and most of us ARs got a little dizzy, but it didn’t matter. It meant being silly, and while that could feel weird at first, most of us didn’t care enough these days about someone else judging us here. After all, who would even dare? Miss Bea or Miss Josie actively encouraged the practice and everyone else was diapered, so how much should one really care about their opinion against you?

“You put your whole self in… whole self out… whole self in… and shake it all about.” I really loved jumping in and out and then shaking myself like a rag doll. Again, I used to care, but at some point, me and almost everyone else here discovered that life was hard enough. This time… this time was for fun, and it was on you if you didn’t want to partake in that small kindness.

“You do the Hokey Pokey, and you turn yourself around… That’s what it’s all about!” We all made sure to pose at the end, but a bunch of uncoordinated ARs couldn’t or didn’t do that very well, so most of us wobbled and laughed at ourselves or others. It was judgment… it was just the hilarity or ridiculousness of it all. Either way, it was a moment to laugh and smile.

Seeing the need as usual to calm us down now a little bit… at least to maintain the order of the room, Miss Bea and Miss Josie were quick to calm us down. In another room, the other groups were doing their own routines, but for us, their skills were invaluable. Chaos reigned here for sure, but they knew exactly when to spring it loose… and when to reel it back. Story time was a guaranteed way for us all to calm down once more. No one turned down story time with Miss Bea.

“Settle down… settle down…” Miss Josie attempted to calm down the class from off to the side of us, but she was only marginally good at it. Miss Bea though…

She clapped once… she clapped twice. That time, more of us joined her. Clap once… clap twice… clap three times. The pattern was simple but effective and by the third pattern, everyone had stopped chatting or giggling and was now looking directly at her. “Very good!” she praised. It was stupid maybe, but I guess in a new world where handling a fork was an accomplishment to most of the group, any praise was nice to here.

“Now then… I’ve picked out two of some of my favorite books ever.” Sitting down in her usual small reading chair, she reached down and plucked two up to show the class. Those in Infasia likely didn’t understand the words and probably just liked the pictures on front and Miss Bea’s excited tone, but the rest of us recognized The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Brown Bear, Brown Bear anywhere. Yes, I was still reading my normal books, but there was a simplicity and calming nature to Miss Bea’s voice over the class. So, for either of the two types of ARs before her this morning, everyone smiled contentedly.

Next was snack time. I used to loathe the moment… not because I didn’t want the extra calories, but more due to the limited options us ARs were presented with. Consisting mostly of finger foods, if there was any chance at them looking babyish, the opportunity was taken. It was explained to me that it was just to accommodate our sizing needs, but it always felt wrong… at least in the beginning. Now, I eagerly down my mixed nuts, halved apple slices, and raisins.

After that was the second diaper check of the day, and this time I needed it.

I previously had fought hard against going pee in the potty. It was a laborious effort for sure, but I always felt a pride with it… at least until I was running to the bathroom each time… and usually still failing at it. I was told to keep it up, but after my final diagnosis of likely being under two, I felt there just wasn’t much point to it. I still tried for my ‘poo-poos,’ or at least that’s what Mr. Daniel in the other group always called them, but going ‘pee-pee’ was just too much effort to try.

So, inevitably, I was going pretty freely most of the time. As such, I could only sigh as my shorts were dropped again and my very wet diaper was exposed to everyone else. It might have been a humiliating moment, but I estimated that of the maybe 50-60 total ARs in all of Building 4, only 6 at most were deemed dry enough to go without a change.

The one change since I gave in though was the public changing table. Originally, I went to the side bathroom, but I think when Miss Bea and the other attendants noticed I wasn’t even asking them anymore, that changed for 90% of my changes now. “Pete…” Miss Bea began as she started to pull down my shorts once I was up on the changing table, “do you even try anymore at all? Do you feel the need to go pee even in the slightest?”

I had to think, and ultimately, I nodded. “Yeah… maybe a little, but it’s kind of fleeting lately. I hate failure, Miss Bea,” I confessed as she began undoing the tapes on the front of my diaper. “Trying to go all the time, it felt like I was failing every day I tried. I mean with the potty… I still go… you know….” She nodded as she began to pull the diaper back and then wipe me down front to back. “I just don’t want to fail in that way anymore.”

“And using your diaper to pee isn’t a failure in your mind now?” she questioned, rolling the wipe up and placing it into the used diaper. It was hard to fathom a little just how casual both of us were at this now.

“No… not anymore. It just… is.” Miss Bea paused for a second, before then tossing out my old diaper while another was poised ready to go… just in case. “Why? Is that a bad thing?”

Miss Bea’s previously calculating eyes widened suddenly and she quickly shook her head. “No, no. Not at all, Pete. It’s just… a curiosity is all. No judgment or anything of the sort. Just… wanted to know.” I felt like she was analyzing something with me right then, but her fidgeting me all around and the small cloud of baby powder dusting over me was enough of a distraction that it broke my train of thought. I trusted Miss Bea completely by now, so I felt confident that if it was something I really needed to know about, she would tell me one day.

With the changes now complete, once everyone was done, it was naptime. For those on the younger end and those in the midst of Infasia, it was off to the crib room to everyone’s designated crib… some even going up to the second floor I found out later to accommodate everyone here. For me though, I wasn’t young enough to feel that need fully, only feeling a little drowsy, and I wasn’t in the midst of Infasia either. So, I stayed in the main room for ‘quiet time.’ To me, that meant cracking open one of the books that my mom had packed for me in my bag. Today was the continuation of Treasure Island.

By 11:30 though, my stomach was starting to growl in earnest. Not needing any emergency change from naptime and not needing to be woken up either today at least, I was one of the first after I finished washing my hands. So, once again, I was placed at my little, tiny plastic table and fed like a king… well, maybe prince. Going off the menu my parents had approved beforehand, with my grateful input, today consisted of cauliflower, blueberries, a few crackers and sandwich quarters of tomato, cheese, and lettuce with some sort of mayonnaise like specialty sauce. Licking my fingers, I saw Miss Josie smile down at me, and knowing her smiles by now, I could only guess that she was about two seconds away from calling me ‘just the cutest little thing ever.’ Needless to say, without her even saying anything, I blushed and quickly hurried off as soon as I was finished.

Jeremy, Luna, and Harriet, joining me shortly after, we all gathered for another round of story time. This one though took on a more theatrical quality and each of the formed groups rotated in and out to present a different tale each day. Gratefully, another group was up today. Looking over, with Frank and Julia deep into the throes of their own Infasia right then, the rest of us would have likely had to pick up their slack or choose another play entirely and present it without any rehearsal.

But the ordeal was soon over, and I was grateful too. A toddler acting as Rapunzel is only going to get you so far. Plus, today, I felt I had some extra energy I needed to burn off. Fortunately, next was our outside play time.

It was the one time in the day when we were completely free, or at least completely free if we weren’t in the midst of a bout of Infasia. Those ARs were sectioned off and were kept under constant supervision. Their laughter indicated otherwise, but each of us knew that most of them would rather do just about anything else than to be entertained like babies for the hour-long recess.

In retrospect though, I might not have been so eager if I knew what was ahead of me.

Now, Ian was regressing just about as much as the rest of us. His power had significantly weakened, and his empire of might and intimidation had all but collapsed. The minions were now scattered amongst the two buildings and even the ones over here now held no loyalty to him. Butch had been sent to the so-called ‘Naughty Building’ and the rest of his old gang wanted nothing to do with an AR under the age of two. Unfortunately for me, that meant he really just had his revenge left… and I was really the only available target.

“Hey! You! Pete!” I could scarcely still recognize his high-pitched voice calling out to me, but the anger and venom in his words was unmistakable.

Still, turning around, I saw the pint-sized bully waddle up to me with a deep-set scowl and his hands clenched in fists of rage. “Ian?” He kept stomping up to me. Unfortunately, right then, most of my friends were in various states of Infasia, the periods where they were under its influence getting longer and more pronounced. Everyone else in his way simply parted, likely not wanting to get caught up in the mess between us.

“You did this to me!” he accused. “I was a boss! A fighter! I was a practically a god in my own kingdom and even when I lost a little, I was servant to the ruler of everyone here! Then you… you…” I could see his pure hatred for me brimming at the surface. It was irrational and if I was more of a betting person, I would have bet anything that he was likely compensating now and focusing all his anger on me… justified or not.

“Yes,” I finished for him. “Yes, I brought you down. I made you pee your pants that one day. I knew your fear and I knew you were dwindling down with the rest of us.” I was confessing to him, and if it was any other week before this, I might have had a problem, but from my perspective right then, Ian had lost all his strength and power. Now, he was just a bundle of frayed nerves and a bruised ego trying desperately to claw its way back to its former glory. Unlike most around here, Ian clearly still hadn’t given in to all the urges and the wave of being young again.

“So, you admit that you worked to undermine me and throw me down here?” He was practically spitting now, his anger still rising. “You broke the rules and bullied me into wetting my pants. If it wasn’t for you…”

“If it wasn’t for me,” I interrupted, no longer wanting to play the punching bag after he accused me of being the bully, “then hundreds of helpless ARs would still be submitting under yours and Butch’s rule. You call me a bully? I played a little dirty in the end, but you lot were pure bullies, right down to your little pinky toes. You exuded violence and intimidation on those of us who stood up to you lot… or at least influenced others to do it on your behalf. In a way, that’s almost worse. So, yes, I caused you to have an accident that day. I also caused an incident to the point where Butch hit me in full view of the teachers where he was then caught and sent away forever. And do you know what?”

“What?” I could see his right eye begin to twitch in the pure resentment he clearly held for me.

“I would do it all again. In a heartbeat too,” I confessed. “I have no regrets over my actions. You all were turning this place into a hell of your own making. Do I feel guilty that I traumatized you into wetting your pants that day, at least on some level? Yes… but I wasn’t seeing another way for us to get out from under you all. When you push and push us all… and then start attacking my friends to the point where they breakdown and blow past their bounce age…” It was hard not to look at Harriet and sigh, a little part of me wondering of the life she could have had if it wasn’t for people like Butch and Ian. Now, she was spending more and more of her days content playing with grass and giggling at the slightest tickle. “Well, there’s only so far you can push before something snaps or pushes back on you.”

Unfortunately, Ian just didn’t seem to be able to accept the reality of his life. I had traumatized him… or at least scared him into wetting his pants. It was a lot, but he hadn’t broken down. His strain of ARV was strong, and he would have ended up in Building 4 anyways. He hadn’t exactly been quiet when he received his test results back one day, so I knew that much at least. Still, even with everything showing that I was justified, and my actions didn’t have any true long-term consequences, Ian still viewed me as the enemy.

So, he took a swing at me.

Being a few inches shorter than me, no longer possessing the strength or the coordination he used to have, I was easily able to dodge the initial blow and block the follow-through as he pushed forward. I could still see his hatred though, so I made sure to lightly push him back.

“Ahhh!” he shouted at the heavens, almost like he was demanding some divine intervention to suddenly smite me on the spot. Instead, he grunted and hunched forward. If he was a bull in a cartoon, little puffs of steam would be flaring from his nostrils right then. “I hate you! I’m Ian! Ian the puncher, the rock, the boss… the man!” I could see him start to falter a little, but he was still going about as strong as he could.

“How could you do that to me? I’m an AR like you! I should have been… well, there should have been a limit to what we did. I shouldn’t have pushed you and bullied you all. I’m sorry for that, but why?” I could see his façade melt away even more as a few tears began to appear rolling down his cheeks. “Why did you have to go so far and make me wet my pants? You used something I feared against me? Why? Why did you do that?”

I had given him my answer, but I’m not sure if his emotional state was allowing for that right now. I wished I could have snapped him out of the tailspin he was putting himself in, but I knew he just had to ride this one out. The crowd that had started forming around the now crying and upset AR held back as well. Also, as he continued to rant and rave against me, I started to wonder if his brain was still functioning too.

“You… you… you big meanie!” I could see him being to slip. A word or too slurred. His movements slowed and then became uncoordinated. He wasn’t breaking, but after seeing it in my friends and even in myself plenty of times, I could tell a bout of Infasia was setting hold in the former bully.

Almost as if to prove my theory correct, I saw the poor and sorry AR begin to squat and grunt.

“You shoulda known… grrr… bettuh!” His face clenched and his eyes closed briefly. I could just make out the faint crinkle of plastic being moved and his grunt were obvious to anyone around. Ian… the boss, the fighter, the bully… the man, was now pooping his diaper. A tiny toot at the end almost ended the moment like so many old cartoons did as well. “I… I… where was I?”

Even for a, well, I guess former enemy, it was still a tough scene to see unfold before my eyes. It happened to so many around here, but Ian’s was public and obvious. He was trying to make the point that he didn’t belong here and that I was responsible for his fall. I would confess that I provided the trigger initially, but all this… him being in Building 4… that was all on his own. His latest accident and even confusion were just further points of proof of that and that he truly belonged here.

So, with a sigh, I knew I had to bury the hatchet. I could claim victory over the former bully, but it was a hollow one. Ian had been vanquished, but not by any elaborate plan of mine. No, a steady and vicious disease combined with something as simple as time proved to be his ultimate undoing.

“Ian… buddy…” I stepped closer to him, but maybe in fear of me or just ready to defend himself, he stepped back as well. “Look… let’s get you inside and find one of the attendants. I think you nee…”

“Wha’? Why? I don’ need their… help. I’m a… a…” His defenses were clearly on high alert, but he quickly trailed off. Maybe it was the step back that alerted him to his current predicament or a slim part of his still normally functioning mind taking over, but either way, he stopped, and his eyes widened. “No… no… it can’t be!”

“Ian…” I wanted to reach out and try to spare him the humiliation of such a public realization, but his hand shot up in the air, stopping me before I could continue.

“Don’t! I…” Ian wiggled slightly, maybe trying to dispel what was likely his worst fear, but I only saw his eyes widen further and his right hand unclench and beginning to travel around to his rear. I could see the fear gnawing at him as it crept further back… only to suddenly stop. “No, no, no!”

Then, in an almost unprecedented move, even for an AR, Ian dropped his shorts.

I had seen it before with those in the midst of a bout of Infasia, but it was pretty rare to still be lucid and do it, so, naturally, most of the crowd surrounding Ian gasped in shock. Unfortunately, even to the most untrained observer, two things were immediately obvious. First, the wetness indicator on the front of his racecar-themed diaper was completely blue and the front sagged heavily. Second though… and more damning, was his rear… now discolored as well and lumpy in the worst of ways. Ian poking the mass back there didn’t help matters.

But as usual, Miss Bea and Miss Josie were as vigilant as ever and right as Ian looked like he was about to completely lose it, Miss Josie swooped in and plucked him off the ground, quickly rushing him away and back inside. Just as the backdoor opened and they disappeared inside, I could just make out a long and horrible wail. Like the sounding of a gong, it was a clear indication that Ian the bully was no more.

Miss Bea, however, stayed behind. “Now… I want you all to think long and hard about what just happened there. Ian refused our help over and over again and made all that much worse. I know all this is hard and almost gives each of you an impossible feeling to all this, but please… trust me when I say that this is not the end of your lives. Everyone here is vulnerable, and everyone here has had a past. It doesn’t matter. We’re all in this together, so, please… when Ian returns, make him feel welcome and be kind and supportive of your fellow AR, okay?”

“Yes, Miss Bea!” we all shouted in unison.

I knew without question that Miss Bea was trying to ease us all into the next phases of our lives. It was hard, humiliating, and sometimes even painful, but by virtue of being here, she knew that we were all going to have a moment just like Ian one day. Whether it was while we were blissed out with Infasia or right in the middle of an argument with a former enemy, regressing to our bounced ages was going to happen.

With the stress of recess behind us, we were all then led back inside. This time, the afternoon nap was had by all. While it wasn’t necessary, few resisted it, and honestly, I think I had only lasted a week before I embraced it as well. Sure, the crib was babyish, but the quiet time and lovely recharge to one’s batteries were hard to beat. So, with a little fleece blanket over me and Poofin wrapped in my arms, I fell asleep to the quiet twinkling music that Miss Josie had popped on for Ian. A few cribs over, he was passed out like everyone else.

Upon waking up, it was snack time once more. This time it was cheese cubes, orange slices, and some salty pretzel sticks. Jeremy, now out of his bout of Infasia, was flabbergasted what had happened to Ian. “Holy smokes! He pooped? Just right there?”

I nodded. “Yep, and he then pantsed himself. I couldn’t believe it was the same guy who had tortured so many in the past two buildings and once controlled part of the city.”

“Maybe he was reverting to how he used to be?” Harriet mused. Both Jeremy and I snapped over to her, a pretzel stick dangling out of both our mouths, to which she chuckled a little. “Yeah… when I was running the state senate race, I had to do a bit on organized crime. Ian came from nothing and only turned to fighting after years of being picked on when he was younger. Something about coming to school in rags? I’m not sure, but I know he once dislocated a guy’s jaw for talking about his childhood.”

It was hard to feel bad for someone like that, but it was becoming more common practice now to see most ARs around our age as two separate people. Like my mom had noted, even me with my comparatively limited Infasia, was Pete and ‘little Petey.’ It wasn’t that we were completely different… just more of two personalities and actions most of the time. Seeing Ian outside dropping his shorts and then crying over a loaded diaper, it wasn’t hard to see that there was certainly a different person than the former boxer and then turned enforcer for the local mob.

Finishing up, each of us then helped Miss Josie and Miss Bea set up for what they called sensory time. It usually coincided with an art project but today was definitely more about feeling. Donning oversized clothing as impromptu smocks, we all stared back at Miss Josie for our instructions.

“Okay, class. Today is going to be a really simple but fun recipe.” She then pulled a few bowls from under the table she was instructing from. “Miss Bea and some of our other attendants are going to come around with bowls of the mixture for you to mix yourself. For anyone unsure, just let us know and we can help you mix. We want everyone to enjoy this activity.

Julia quickly raised her hand. “Miss… Miss Josie?” Miss Josie nodded to her. “Do we… do we need any, uh, magic for this potion?” A few snickered and it was obvious that Julia had popped out briefly from her Infasia earlier but was now pretty well slipping back under. Adopting a personality where she claimed to be a princess, anything in her life around her was all aligned to that fantasy. I was just glad that I was the heroic knight.

“Class…” Miss Josei shot everyone laughing a stern look and they quickly buttoned their mouths up. Turning back to Julia, she smiled and shook her head. “No, sweetie. Not this time. This is just going to be like making food back at home.

“So… we can eat it?” another AR asked abruptly. This time, no one giggled, and instead, most of the class turned back to Miss Josie, eagerly awaiting her response.

“Hmmm… nothing is harmful, but it might taste kind of icky.” The boy seemed a little disappointed but didn’t put up a fuss.

Then, with no other questions, Miss Bea and the other attendants and volunteers began to distribute the supplies. Passing around, they were extraordinarily simple. One large bowl of water, another bowl of corn starch, and to most of our delight, a Kool-Aid mix packet that we got to choose ourselves. Personally, I opted for the Tropical Punch flavoring.

“Now then… add the cornstarch, that’s the powdery mix, right into the bowl.” A few of the attendants helping others, I dumped mine first and then made sure to help Luna with her own. Looking over before, I saw that she was about to dump it all over herself. With the crisis now avoided, Miss Josie got us all to pour our Kool-Aid mix in and then go right to stir with a plastic fork.

“It’s so gooey!” Harriet shouted; a smile plastered all over her face.

“An’ messy!” Julia said, giggling a little.

“I kind like that,” Frank admitted.

As for me, my liquid mess soon turned into a goopy slime of sorts. I had made one back in Elementary school using Borax but already seeing a few of the Infasia ARs in the class licking their fingers, I knew the decision for this recipe was better suited to our… drawbacks.

The paste oozed back and forth between everyone’s fingers. It was slimy and yet beautiful. Squishing it tight reverted it back to more of a muddy substance, but for the most part, most of us just kind of played around with it. A few began to toss at each other, but I made sure to duck for the brief moment it occurred. Miss Bea and another attendant volunteer quickly put a stop to it before anything too major took place.

“Clean up! Clean up! Everybody do their share!” Miss Bea and Miss Josie both sang the clean up song with practiced ease and got everyone… at least those who could, to begin help them cleaning up the area. For those succumbing to Infasia, they lunged back and nibbled on their toes or cuddled with their own stuffed animals. Looking back to my cubby, Poofin was there… safe and tucked away until I needed him again.

Last, but certainly not least, was simply playtime. Some days, our group would all just use the time to talk and unwind about the day. If there was a problem, we solved it then. We also rehearsed our story time slot and then just plain gossiped about our own lives. It was very cathartic, but those times were also cut short by two factors… going home a little early that day or anyone slipping to Infasia. Today, most of the group was just able to talk.

Before I knew it, the day was over. Being a Wednesday though, unlike a few of the others, our group was staying after for a therapy session. So, sneaking up from behind me and tickling my sides briefly, my mom gave me a big hug. “Hey there, Petey! You have a good day here?”

“Mom…” I groaned, quickly looking around to see if anyone was laughing at our interaction, but I saw basically the same thing going on with everyone else. Off in the distance though, I saw Polly being informed over what had happened with her younger brother earlier today. By her side and tremendously muted, I saw Ian practically clinging to her leg. As odd as it might sound, I was starting to feel bad for the former bully. We didn’t have anything to fear from him anymore, but it wasn’t hard to see that he now had a lot to fear from the world himself. It was a cruel twist of irony, but that was just life with ARV.

Settling into group therapy with my mom once more after everyone else had left, it was a bit of an odd session to start with by looking around at who was here. More and more now, the group was almost not even present for a chunk of the meeting. Yes, most of us collaborated and vented our feelings or shared a funny story with the group, but those times were getting shorter each week.

“An’ then the bunny scampered off into da woods!” Luna said, finishing her story.

“Oh?” Miss Bea seemed surprised. “I thought you two lived in a neighborhood near here?”

Daphne nodded. “We do. It’s just… we have a lot of friends back at a commune near here. We left after they got a little… too radical for our tastes, but we still know a lot of people there. Plus… Luna seems to enjoy it there, so I put up with it most Saturdays now.”

“That’s very admirable of you,” Dr. Smothers complimented, finally looking up from her tablet. “If you’re going back though, surely it can be too much of a bad place.”

Daphne looked hesitant and grimaced slightly. “Well… it’s…” There was something she was holding back, and I think we all saw it, but Dr. Smothers made no effort to push her further. “I really just do it for Luna.” Luna quickly responded by nuzzling over into her for a quick cuddle.

Daphne reciprocated and showed her nothing but the affection most of us came to know from our own caregiver. “Also… I have to confess, but I’m also going partly out of worry.”

“Oh?” I could tell Dr. Smothers was highly intrigued now.

“Yeah… last time I left her alone and got someone else to giver her a ride there and back… she…” Daphne trailed off again and tenderly stroked Luna’s hair. “Well, last time she did something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. I won’t say what today or in this place, but… I don’t think most would approve of it.”

Dr. Smothers reassured her that her secrets would stay safe withing the group and like had been told to Ian, all that was in the past now. It was a little different for our caregivers, seeing and remembering everything, even if we didn’t, but it was still a common sentiment for all involved in our lives. Still, hearing all that about Luna… I still hadn’t found my rat or the person here from the ’87 terrorist group. Looking at her cuddling peacefully with Daphne, it was hard to fathom, but if Ian had shown me anything, she had about an equal shot of being the rat as Frank did. Now… I wasn’t so sure.

[codsterc10@msn.com]

Amazing job 

[BabySofia]

Glad to see Ian neutralized for good. It seems like Peter might just make it through with only a few more losses.

Out of curiosity, I keep seeing people asking about growing back up, but hasn't this only been like 18 months since the incident? Have they had enough time to see people growing back up? With one of the other moments discussing not growing up again, I'm curious. I know for the original AR Virus stories it was kind of a mix. Some didn't, some held for seven or eight years and then grew... Feel free to not answer though and just point to something in the story to tell me this. 

Really have enjoyed this, looking forward to these last chapters! 🙂

[Dirty Boy]

I have a theory about this virus about what is happening behind the scenes in the story: in my opinion, governments, military and pharmaceutical multinationals are secretly studying ARs, also to understand the virus and use it. Thinking about immortality and rapid healing, could create variants of the virus for super soldiers. It is possible that elderly billionaires, could voluntarily expose themselves to the virus to rejuvenate, by having it studied. What do you think? Maybe there is the government right behind Group 87 and this is an experiment

[CDfm]

Loved the chapter.  It was almost hard to see Ian go down like that.  It would have to scare the heck out of all the others still slipping down.  Knowing what the future holds for them as well.  I am still glad that Pete is coping well and that his family is treating him right. 
I know I will miss this story when it comes to an end but at least there are a few more chapters to enjoy. I look forward to reading them. 

[Dirty Boy]

Peter is perhaps the one who is doing the best, he has managed to keep his adult mind almost intact apart from a few moments

[LostBBoyBear]

16 hours ago, BabySofia said:

Glad to see Ian neutralized for good. It seems like Peter might just make it through with only a few more losses.

Out of curiosity, I keep seeing people asking about growing back up, but hasn't this only been like 18 months since the incident? Have they had enough time to see people growing back up? With one of the other moments discussing not growing up again, I'm curious. I know for the original AR Virus stories it was kind of a mix. Some didn't, some held for seven or eight years and then grew... Feel free to not answer though and just point to something in the story to tell me this. 

Really have enjoyed this, looking forward to these last chapters! 🙂

Glad to hear you are enjoying the story!

I was going to hold off on this until it came up in the story, but the question has been asked a number of times, and I guess I need to elaborate on the notion of getting stuck at one's regressed age. I won't go into all that's invovled, but it kind of depends on the age you drop to. Keep in mind, that it's only been about 15 months since Orange Day. So, keeping that in mind, I'm writing all this where ARV sticks you at your age depending on mostly what age you bounce at. For example, Karen and Gregg (Pete's parents) may have gotten stuck for a few months, but at their age, it's almost negligible. For those younger though, sticking would last longer. So, carrying this further, most that got whacked and regressed tremendously at the outset are still stuck... not forever, but still stuck. 

I'll go into all this pretty soon, but I know you all can't see my headcannon unless I write it down. Also, just something to keep in mind... the government and most scientists probably don't want to cause a panic. Similar to what happened with Pete and not being told his 'under three' diagnosis, most authorities would likely fear what most would do if they were regressing and then found out they would be stuck as a toddler for at least a year. Even if it didn't mean riots in the streets, you would probably have a lot more ARs having mental breaks (which would only increase their time stuck and freak them out more, thus creating a vicious cycle) or not caring about life anymore and going to some extremes. Speaking personally, I think I would react very differently to the notion of being regressed and then growing back up normally versus being stuck at whatever age I bounced at. 

So, I hope that helps everyone here for the moment at least... More is coming soon, and as I said before, everything should be coming to a close in the next week or so.

[Dirty Boy]

If I remember correctly, in the first chapters we talked about a high suicide rate among RAs with very harsh diagnoses, i guess we did it to not reveal too many things, even if it is not very ethical. In the real world the opposite happens, for example with covid they instead spread fear by painting the situation much more serious than it was to make people accept the exaggerated restrictions they put in place for the purpose of social control (at least in Italy). Governments never really care about the health of citizens, they surely have other goals. However, it is realistic to think that many people who receive diagnoses of regressions similar to Peter's, may commit suicide at the thought of losing their husband/wife, job, home, etc. Not to mention that in many cases, for example, those who are abandoned by their partner and do not have parents know that they will end up in some institution. What happens if an AR has a house of his own and a bank account, i don't think the government can take his assets?

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone!

A bit of a longer chapter, hence a later than usual post time, but I wanted to get this up before too much later, still trying to stick to a schedule with these and finish likely on 31 March. Also, with the things going on here, I absolutely didn’t want to shortchange any scene by simply rushing through everything. I definitely could have even doubled my original draft for this, but I think this still came out alright.

Next, just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2 or 13. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer.

Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 22: Forced or not… I Don’t Think I’ll Be the Same

I sighed, leaning back on the couch as the cartoon owl, Mr. Hoot, continued to fly through the screen, explaining the water cycle. It was a simplistic program for sure, but Mr. Hoot’s House of Learning was a small way I was keeping myself both sane and mentally sharp. Designed for ARs specifically, it did cater to both the tastes of those in or out of Infasia, but it presented three programs throughout the day covering everything from basic arithmetic up to calculus or geography or even art history. Sometimes, it got a little boring for my mind to follow, but it always made sure to pick back up not long after and be fun and engaging enough to keep me occupied for a solid chunk of time. Plus, with it catering to several ages, it was non-violent, so my parents allowed me to watch it even when Amanda was around.

“Pete,” my dad called from the other room, “can you turn that off and come and help us get ready today?”

I sighed a little and turned back to him. “I can… but honestly… I’m not sure how much help I’m going to be.” I then held up my little hands, according to my mom, clocking in around 25 or 26 months old… just above the higher end of my bounce age. “Not entirely useful these days… in case you forgot.”

My dad sighed. “Fair enough, but I think you can still help worth a few things. Come on over and do a check to see if we packed everything.”

“Roger that!” I could have argued more to continue watching Mr. Hoot and all his little forest friends explain next about the forest biome, but I didn’t want to push it… at least not right then when something like ice cream was involved. Geeting over there, I definitely had to make sure to watch where I was stepping. Walking wasn’t an issue, but my coordination wasn’t ideal, and I still wasn’t used to my smaller steps. The diaper also didn’t help, but having worn it for over two months now, I was at least getting used to it… for better or worse.

Looking inside, I noticed the various assortments of sandwiches, vegetables, and fruit, all kept cool by the three ice packs that had also been added. “Is all this for us?” I asked, not believing the sheer amount of food I was seeing now.

My parents both chuckled. “It’s really not a lot, Pete,” my dad insisted as my mom continued to pack a few other bags… like my diaper bag on the countertop. “You’re just…”

“No… don’t say it,” I insisted. “I walked right into it, but… just… don’t.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t but is everything good for the picnic?” He then bent down low and gave a quick check himself, his being a little less thorough than mine was.

“Yep! Everything’s good,” I confirmed. “One picnic lunch for the five us all ready to go. Now, we’re just waiting for Lucas to get over here. Where is he anyways?”

“I think he said he needed to help Kevin move the rest of his stuff into their new place” my mom interjected. “He told me on Wednesday that it was taking a lot longer than I think either of them realized.”

“Could have ditched the beer pong table…” I muttered.

“What was that?” my dad asked, raising one of his eyebrows skeptically.

“Oh… nothing. Just… thinking out loud about…” I looked down and tried to think of anything else. Lucas was 23, almost 24, so it wasn’t a matter of legality, but I knew our dad didn’t approve of college parties either. So, spotting one item missing, I realized I had my out. “Drinks! We need drinks.”

“Uh-huh…” My dad was clearly skeptical, but considering the hot August day, drinks were too much of a missing item to go unanswered. So, he simply went over to the refrigerator and pulled out several options. Fortunately, he reached for a juice box for me instead of a sippy cup, like I was now using pretty frequently. It wasn’t that I absolutely needed it, but it was more of a matter of convenience. If I had a bout of Infasia holding it, I wouldn’t get it over my clothes, like had happened a few weeks ago, and honestly, I just didn’t have to think too hard about drinking. Instead, I could just enjoy whatever beverage I had in front of me, but a nice juice box of apple juice worked just fine for me today.

“So, what’s this movie about again?” my mom asked after checking her watch for at least the third time, now clearly trying to distract herself over the fact that Lucas still wasn’t here.

“Something about tomb raiders… it’s an action movie Lucas recommended to me,” I explained.

Both my parents were hesitant about some of the stuff I watched lately, probably fearing me slipping into Infasia and continuing to watch something bloody and violent, but it was the one point they were willing to concede on with my new life. Also, due to just everything going on lately, it had been a while since any of us had gone out to see a movie… at least not one that had tons of sparkles, kid’s jokes, or pink in it.

Amanda was a wonderful kid, especially now that she had turned her previous ill-placed jealousy of me into a pretty firm stance of protection and affection. Dr. Smothers had done her work well, but regardless, her tastes often dictated our schedule. So, Lucas and I teamed up and convinced her to insist on going to a friend’s house today instead. We would all still enjoy a picnic lunch on a quiet Saturday afternoon together, but the movie was strictly for older eyes only. Gratefully, due to her playdate with her good friend from preschool, she didn’t seem to mind.

“I heard it got some pretty great reviews,” I continued, trying to butter my mom up to be more enthusiastic about the selection. She was more of a romcom lover, but she also enjoyed the company of her family as well and wanted us all to feel included and happy. So, for today, that meant seeing more of a guy flick. “I heard that even that one actor… oh what’s his name? Harry? Bill? I’m not sure exactly, but super famous and he’s even rumored to join the new Spi…”

The telephone rang and stopped us all cold.

My parents still insisted on the louder ringtone. It nearly gave everyone a heart attack, but no one ever missed a phone call from simply not hearing it. Being nearer to it, my mom picked it up. “Hello. Crichton residence. This is Karen. May…?” She then stopped before she could finish her usual dialogue. “Yes… yes…” Her tone grew serious and the previous smile over her face quickly vanished.

Without warning, not long after, she dropped the phone.

It was just to the countertop, so it didn’t shatter or anything, but it was alarming, nonetheless. “Karen!” My dad hurried over to her right as I saw Amanda walking into the room. Before he got over to her though, she just pointed at the phone with wide and traumatized eyes.

Picking it up slowly, my dad then pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?” I could then hear a few murmured words exchanged over the line to him as I walked over to my mom, now being pestered by my younger sister.

“Mommy! Mommy!” Amanda asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with her. “What’s happening?”

“Shhh!” My dad gave Amanda and I both the warning look to not speak up. Violating his unspoken directive would mean a one-way ticket to a loss of privileges… like TV time, so we both remained silent. Keeping my eye on my dad though, I made my way over to my mom and hugged her leg. Amanda soon joined me and then I saw it… the pain in my mom’s eyes.

And I guess right then, everything clicked in my head.

Both my parents growing silent over a phone call… my mom’s horrible silence and initial reaction… my dad now rushing over to furiously scribble something out, almost like his life depended on it. I didn’t want to think it’s horrible thoughts, but my mind maybe going to more pessimistic places these days, could only think of a single question that might be horribly answered in the next few minutes: where is Lucas?

“Thank you… yes… at least one of us will be right there… yes… thank you and… you too…” Slowly, my dad lowered the phone and clicked the disconnect button before looking at to the three members of his family, dreading but still waiting on an answer. “It’s… it’s… It’s your brother. Lucas has been in a car accident.”

It felt like the air had just been sucked out of the room. Everything sickeningly snapped together in my mind like some twisted puzzle finally revealing itself. “He…” I was at a loss for words, and both my parents seemed to be as well. Only Amanda seemed capable of saying anything.

“No!” she wailed. She was still a kid, but she was becoming aware of what was going on around her more and more every day.  

“He…” I was still struggling to comprehend it all, but finally, I managed to spit something out. “Is he… is he alive?”

Both my parents looked at me with horror, but I think the realization of both their kids here being left in the dark must have hit them. We weren’t stupid and their reactions were serious. Trying to fill in the blanks, most other conclusions just seemed wrong to at least not ask that most important question.

Gratefully, my dad shook his head. “No… he’s just been in an accident. I think his car got totaled, but… I need to go to him. The nurse I was speaking to didn’t know all the details… just that one of us should be there. We’ve gotta… I…” He then shook his head. “We’ll do the picnic another day. Promise.”

Amanda and I nodded sullenly. “I want to go too…” I pressed. I wasn’t sure what it was all going to entail, but I wanted to be there for the one person that had been there all this time for me. Amanda and our parents had both made their amends and truce with me now, each relationship just growing stronger now, but Lucas had consistency since the beginning… or at least about as close to the beginning as one could get. That had to count for something.

“Me too!” Amanda insisted as well.

Hearing her though, I knew it was going to be a ‘no’ for both of us. As much as I wasn’t a kid, there were just certain times that I got lumped into with her. Going to places with complications seemed to be one of them. “No… you two need to stay here.”

Amanda whined a little, but our mom dropped to the floor and gathered us in before looking at us with one of the most serious looks I had ever seen from her. “I wish you two could come with us. Lucas would love to see you. It’s just… the hospital is going to be a big and scary place… lots of unknowns. It’s going to be chaotic, stressful, and… long.”

Right away, I knew it meant two different things for Amanda and I. For her, it meant possible boredom and keeping an eye on her so that she wouldn’t accidentally unplug someone’s oxygen or something of the sort. For me, it catered more to the side of what that would entail for my care… like a diaper change being needed in a public place, and it also meant that with all the stress… a bout of Infasia could be a very real possibility. And at that point, I would have been even worse than Amanda in that environment.

Still, I had to try for a hope of another solution. “So then… can we just stay here by ourselves?”

For the first time since the phone rang, my dad’s face grew serious, and I could almost sense the rejection in the air. “Absolutely not! For both of you, that’s just a bad idea waiting to happen. I’ll be darned if I leave you two alone and then wind up with two or even all three of you in the hospital by the end of the day.”

“Agreed,” my mom chimed in, “but maybe I have another idea…”

Minutes later, the plan began to unfold… much to my dismay. “Mom… please… not a babysitter.”

My mom sighed for what must have been at least the tenth time in the past few minutes. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but we really don’t have much choice here.” She kept unpacking the bag that was to be used for our picnic, now postponed for who knows how long. “You heard me on the phone. I tried ARSED, but they insist they’re too swamped today for such a last-minute request and so can’t provide a designated ARV sitter.” It didn’t take her practiced fingers long to separate out the five meals packed within, now three of them going in the refrigerator for some time later.

“I would have considered Linfield, but Amanda needs to be cared for as well, and we have no idea how long we’re going to be at the hospital. Plus, I would think you all would feel much more comfortable staying at home… just in case we find out any news and call back here.” Her logic was sound… if not disappointing.

“Ugh! Fine…” I knew a losing battle these days when I saw one. With all the factors considered, a babysitter for Amanda and I would have to do.

Setting Amanda’s and I’s lunch to the side to plate for our lunch hurriedly, my mom paused for a brief moment and looked at me with a long and sullen face, likely partially from the news of Lucas but also just as likely to be partly in sympathy for my situation now. “I did make sure to hire Linda, Pete. She’s still considered the best in the neighborhood. Every mom raves about her, saying she’s great and a real pro. Also, when we got her last month right before you came back to us, Amanda thought she was great.”

Her mind then seemed to drift off. “That was a really great night… definitely a good last glass of wine…” She shook her head as if to try and force those thoughts out manually. “It was a good night out between your dad and I, and coming back, I don’t remember any issues with her.”

It was a good review, but there was one problem. “Okay, fine… she’s a real asset to the neighborhood. But what about experience with ARs?”

From my mom’s more painful expression, I could tell that it was the one sticking point in using her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I tried to find a sitter with specific experience with ARs, but it’s just not a common listing on babysitter ads still.” Two months ago, I might have been offended and stormed out of the room, thinking this was some plot to trick me or have her go on some sort of ‘mommy trip,’ but that was then. Now, I knew that between her need to go see Lucas herself and the last-minute nature of everything, plus our mended bond, Linda was likely the best she could do.

“Please, Pete…” she implored. “At least try her for me. Today’s been really difficult and…” I could tell the news about Lucas and all the unknown things about his accident were still heavy on her mind. At this point, trying to be a good mom to all three of us was stretching her thin, and I could feel the part of my brain protesting all this quiet down a little bit. “I’m really sorry… I hope you believe that, and I promise… as soon as I can, I’ll reach out to Agent Carlyle and figure out what to do in the future if an emergency situation like this ever happens again.”

I prayed it didn’t, at least something like a car accident, but I knew with my dad’s work being as time-consuming as it was, there were a whole host of reasons that could pull both away and Amanda and I would now need a sitter. It was humbling, but I also knew my mom needed a break somewhere today. Amanda was off in her own little world, being heavily distracted by another episode of Princess Mondy, dad was readying the car and ensuring everything was going to run smoothly when they arrived at the hospital, and my mom really was doing her best. So, despite my hesitation about all this, I nodded. “I will, mom. I’ll try my best.” Acknowledging my words at least, she then pulled me into a little hug before going back to fixing Amanda’s and I’s lunch.

The sandwich was delightful and even Amanda’s smacking, and our parents constantly reminding her to chut her mouth while she was eating, it felt like a nice peaceful moment. Lucas’ status was still looming heavily on my mind, but it was a lull… especially contrasted with the feeling I had once I heard the front doorbell ring.

“Coming!” my dad shouted, hustling to the front door as my mom made a few preparations for some items for the hospital… just in case they had to stay longer than anticipated. Remembering back to when I broke my leg in high school, my parents stayed for hours into the early hours of the morning… just making sure I was okay.

I heard a few muffled voices from the front, but soon, a bubbly and dark blonde early 20s woman walked in, her ponytail and bag over her shoulder giving her an on-the-go type of look. Her college shirt was a nice touch as well, a poignant reminder of our visible physical age difference now.

“Hello again, Mrs. Crichton,” she greeted my mom warmly. My mom returned the favor, and Linda went right to work with Amanda and I, leaning over and giving Amanda a wave. “Hey there, little princess. Miss me?”

A cucumber slice still munching around in her mouth, she slid off her seat and went over to give her a big hug. “Miss Linda!” It was a nice sign that our mom hadn’t been embellishing her satisfaction of the sitter, but my insides still lurched a bit when she broke off from the hug and turned her attention toward me.

“Oh, and you must be Petey,” she said, adopting more of serious tone towards me. As much as that sounded harsh or unfriendly, it was readily apparent it was more of a sign of respect, especially in the near similarity to her voice when talking to my parents previously.

“Pete… please…” I still felt my raw nerves bubbling around, trying to figure her out, but I knew I had to keep a good impression of her. My parents were stressed enough, and I didn’t want to add to their burden. While emergencies were one thing, barring them, I knew I needed to make this work. “It’s good to meet you.” Still sitting on my booster seat to eat, I had to stay put, but I made sure to offer my hand to shake.

Smiling and not seeing any fear over a nearly two-year-old talking so well was a good sign. Her shaking my hand back was another. “it’s very good to meet you, Pete.” I could see my mom smiling from behind her, and once our shake was over, Linda turned back to her. “Okay, anything changed I need to know about? Numbers? Emergencies? New allergies?”

Utilizing my dad to get me out of the seat, I retreated over to the living room while my mom shared all the crucial points of information with Linda. Amanda seemed content to stick by her side through the process, but I just wanted to hide myself in a good book instead. There at least, I could imagine myself as any one of the heroes and be far away from all this.

Still, I think Amanda got a little bored, especially when I heard them talk about the most minute of details. And, with a warning not to turn the TV back on from our dad, Amanda wandered over to me. Sighing, I put my book down seeing her step into the room with me. “So… Linda… is she as good as you’re making her look like?” Amanda gave me a questioning look briefly and I knew I had to make it simpler… something binary… good or bad. “Okay… uh, well… is she a good babysitter? Or a bad one?”

“Oh… she’s pwetty good…” Picking up one of her discarded dolls, she stroked the platinum locks back. “Just… watch out fo’ her an’ pay attention…”

I wasn’t sure if I liked that last part, sounding more like a warning than praise, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by our parents getting to the front door. Seeing a nearby clock, despite everything packed in, it was still less than 30 minutes since we had received the phone call about Lucas. Dad wanted to go on ahead, but Mom insisted on going together. In the end, she won out.

Rushing up on them both, Amanda gave the first round of goodbyes. Following up, I gave the second. Both standing back up, our dad looked at his watch. “Okay… not sure when we’ll be back, but you two might be in bed by then.”

“Oh, no worries,” Linda noted casually from the doorway back to the kitchen. “Take as much time as you need with Lucas. I’m sure we’ll do just fine here.”

Our mom nodded looking over at our new sitter. “Thank you, Linda.” She then turned back to us, and I could see she didn’t want to leave us but also seemed to be compelled to go as well. “Whenever we get back…  well, until then, just listen to Linda. She can be pretty fun if you let her…” I knew that comment was directed at me, but I couldn’t dwell on it. A few more goodbyes later, and our parents were gone… leaving Amanda and I alone with a genuine babysitter.

“Okay you two… I’m going to tidy a few things your parents left lying around. How about you two go play together? I find sibling bonding can sometimes be the best thing for a few sad hearts.” She then bent low and smiled at both of us. “But if you do get bored or want a little space apart, just let me know and I can easily jump in, okay?” We both nodded but then scampered off.

Since I had gotten back from Linfield and after Amanda had protected me at the playground from the other bullies, we had become close once again. Our dynamic had certainly changed, but we were at the point now where despite how much Amanda seemed to truly like Linda, she preferred to be with me. Besides, I was pretty good at voices and her, and her knight dolls and the like seemed to need a helping hand.

So, after a few shuffles and arrangements downstairs in the family room, Amanda insisted on being the princess again and being kidnapped by the evil Bun Eie. Her creativity was impressive, but I had a fleeting but odd thought… Poofin would make a much better monster for her game. He would be able to tower over her princess doll and he was always reliable and…

I shook my head and focused on the task before me. Poofin was good upstairs… all alone. I didn’t need him… he was good. I was good… and there was nothing more to it then that.

But like most good things, even as the evil Bun Eie carried off the princess, all that came crashing down with yet another ring at the doorbell. With Amanda stopping, I knew there were few forces on Earth that could pry her away from the final scenes of her princess being rescued. In this case, it was her friends. So, minutes later and being apprised of the situation, Amanda’s friend’s mom clarified the timing of her stay, promised to return her before dinner, and took off. Only waving goodbye, once out the door, Amanda seemed to pay me little attention. I couldn’t blame her… but it also left me alone with Linda.

Now, I had been thinking of the whole situation for a little bit by then. In the suddenness of everything, I had completely blanked on a few of the other options open to me. Having talked yesterday, one of the most obvious was going over to Jeremy’s house. Counting the times I had gone over while we were still in Building 3 and the few times recently, his caregiver, Yasmine, seemed to love having me over.

“Uh… Linda?” I approached my babysitter with a little caution, still unsure about her regarding my whole situation.

Linda stopped reading and looked up from her book, Wuthering Heights. “Oh… Pete. You kind of just snuck on me there. You’re so quiet.” She smirked and then placed her book on her lap. “So, what can I do for you? Need a playmate or…?”

“No.” She seemed nice, but I still had my limits. “You’ve been great, but I’ve been thinking… maybe I could go see my own friends? Jeremy doesn’t live too far away and…”

“Okay…” she interrupted, upsetting me slightly, “I’m going to stop you right there.” She then sat forward on the couch and set her book beside her before looking me deeply in the eyes. “I was put in charge of you and your sister, Pete. Now, she got permission from your parents directly, and I’m glad you have a few friends you can visit today, but we didn’t get permission from them beforehand.” I wanted to go get the phone, but it seemed Linda had thought of that too. “And I don’t want to disturb them at the hospital unless it’s an emergency. They need to focus on Lucas right now… so, I’m sorry, but a playdate with Lucas isn’t an emergency, right?”

Her logic was sound, just like my mom’s had been earlier when trying to justify Linda’s presence in their absence. Now, it hurt a little more, being denied going to see my friends today, but I really couldn’t argue with her without seeing combative or uncooperative. “No…”

“Good. Now, is there anyth…” A small little beeper noise then went off and Linda smiled before hitting her watch. “Oh! Looks like all that doesn’t matter right now anyway. It’s naptime!”

“It’s… what?” I wasn’t a stranger to naptime, doing it almost every day now at Linfield, but at home was another matter. I think I usually tired myself out less at home, so it didn’t feel critical. “I never… never…” I tried to hold back to keep my argument alive, but it was no use. Before I could even finish my sentence, I yawned.

“Well… sounds like ‘never’ might just be broken today.” She then marched over and held out her hand for me to take. “Now, come on, Pete. I hear someone who needs one… regardless of if they want one or not.” From her words, tone, and insistent glance down at me, I didn’t feel threatened or anything, but I wasn’t really seeing a way I could tell her ‘No’ exactly. So, I took her hand.

Guiding me up the stairs, a task getting harder by the week, we eventually got to my room, where Linda then dropped the railing. I sighed but then let her place me inside and sneak a quick peek at my diaper before moving the railing back up. “I think you should be good for a quick nap today, so just try to lie down for me and close your eyes.”

I really didn’t want to, but I could already feel the wave of exhaustion soon catch up with me. It was a pretty strange phenomenon, but I had learned not to fight it. I could still be upset by it, but fighting always proved to be a failure. With Linda dimming the lights, I could feel myself drifting off soon after.

It was peaceful, yes, but waking up brought a new horror to my senses.

Everything felt cold… clammy… and wet. I thought I was still dreaming, recalling one summer when I hitched a ride on a sailboat for about a week with one of my friends from college. It was pleasant… but this… this was something else. And more importantly, as I shuffled around, I knew without a shred of doubt that this something was a huge problem.

Opening my eyes and poking around, my fear doubled. Tossing my sheets off, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. My fear had happened before, but that was due to a cheap diaper my mom had to borrow early on when I first came back home when my wetting started becoming more uncontrollable. So, opening my eyes, I knew what I was going to see, but a still felt the tiny prick of ice stabbing my heart in disappointment and shame.

During the night, I had not only wet myself in my sleep, but I had leaked as well.

It honestly wasn’t bad, or at least not as bad as it could have been, being just a small wet patch over crease above my thigh, but it was still a mark against me… especially with a sitter that I barely knew. Also, I think seeing my loss so prominently displayed like that kind of put my head into a bit of a spin.

Waking up after a good sleep had been a trigger for my Infasia in some form for over a month now. I was used to it, but I had noticed that it both happening more frequently, and maybe as a trigger of that, was becoming more sensitive as well. So, waking up from my nap, I was already feeling a little weighted down and not quite connected in my head as much as I would like to be. Seeing the leak, it just pushed me further.

“Oh! I thought I heard someone stirring!” Linda warmly greeted me coming back into my nursery.

“Lin’a,” I tried to say. It was a word and clearly her name, but it was partially slurred and didn’t come out full intact. Being trained to respond to Infasia, ARSED sitters knew that sometimes ARs would be a little more regressed waking up and just needed time to acclimate back into their more mature brains. Linda, unfortunately, did not seem to notice this.

“Oh? Do you have… oh… what’s it called?” She tapped her chin playfully for a second. “Infantile? Infancy? In… In… oh!” She shrugged her shoulders and looked at me with a playful grin. “Oh well! Doesn’t matter much I guess though, huh? Your mommy told me how you sometimes regress a bit after naptime. So, I guess it’s just my lucky day then.”

Coming over closer, her eyes soon directed down to my leak. “Oh no. Someone’s a leaky little boy, huh?” Maybe it was the wrong call, but I think from the little touch of Infasia I had, still worrying about Lucas, and being more than a little mortified… I just nodded my head. “Well then… let’s get you all sorted.”

By now, I knew a diaper change was just necessary. I had a dwindling amount of control with my bladder and even navigating the potty for my messes was becoming a challenge. I still made it, but the time I had in getting on the potty and disrobed enough to not make a mess of myself was shrinking. So, naturally, along with being in a daycare and cared for by others, I didn’t mind Linda changing my diaper as much… even when she spouted a series of babbles, coos, and even straight babytalk.

“Oh, who’s just the cutest little thing in the world, huh?” She tickled me on my exposed belly, now strapped into the table. If this was my mommy… mom… ‘Stupid Infasia brain…’ she would have checked before treating me like a real two-year-old. Instead, a was played with relentlessly, and being only human, I could only resist laughing heartily for so long. Encouraged now, Linda kept up her barrage, and soon enough, I even felt a further warm spurt in my diaper.

“And there we go!” I then realized she had tricked me into emptying my bladder completely. She was a good babysitter and knew the tricks… I just wish she wasn’t using them on me. Still, I kept about as silent as I could, not wanting to prolong the change for any longer than it had to be.

And I guess that’s why I next found myself out in the backyard in my new outfit adorned with colorful dinosaurs. Between the shirt and the shorts, which left little to the imagination of what I was wearing underneath and even possibly flashing a peak at it through the leg holes, I felt all the more the baby Linda was treating me as.

Taking advantage of Amanda’s old swing set, I was soon plopped into the seat and pushed back and forth. “Whee!”

I was pushed high into the air, a little part of me freely fearing slipping out and shooting out, but gravity combined with the babyish swing seat kept me in to the point where I could insist on this stopping. “Lin’a… I…”

“Whee!” Honestly, I think Linda was having a little fun herself, and maybe getting too caught up in the moment, probably just didn’t hear me. By the seventh time, I was a little more doubtful, but by the eighth, I had given up as well and just decided to ride it out and have fun.

Once we were done though, my anger bubbling, I gave the best angry face I could to Linda. “Lin’a!” I stomped on the ground.

“Oh? Is someone a grumpy gut today?” she asked, still going for her babyish tone. “Maybe you’re just not a swing person, huh?”    

I wanted to scream ‘no,’ but I couldn’t deny that I did have a little fun. The problem was though, Linda quickly took that as a sign of consent and took me over to the slide before setting me on top. “Lin’a… I…”

“Oh, don’t be scared, sweetie. I’ll help push you off but then I’ll be waiting right at the bottom for you.” She positioned me carefully on the thick yellow slide, both sides coming up more than enough to abate my fears of falling out as I slid down. “Don’t worry, Petey. You got this…” Her words were oddly comforting. I was still upset, but there was a part of me that I couldn’t deny did feel a little better. “And… whee!”

Pushing me ever so slightly, the slide was slick enough that I soon began to slide right down. Racing to the bottom, Linda was nothing but smiles down there. It was a nice sight to hurdle towards, and as soon as I made it to the bottom, she grabbed me up and held me high. “Yay! You did it, Petey! I’m so proud of you!”

Again, it all felt good, but I had to almost reorient my mind back to her. She wasn’t listening to me and I needed to be listened to… at least before things got worse. It sent a shiver up my spine, but I refocused and began to squirm in her arms. “No, Lin’a! No!”

“Oh… oh!” Linda wasn’t strong by any means, but her experience with younger kids was shining through as she expertly wobbled me around so as to miss accidentally hitting her. I didn’t want to, but I also needed to make my point clear.

So, I swung out at her to make her know that I didn’t like what she was doing.

If my words weren’t working, I felt my actions would. The problem with that theory though is that squirming or even yelling is one level, taking a swipe at someone is completely another.

“No, Petey! We do not hit!” At that point, I was just entirely frustrated, and maybe I should have tried for more words, but I think I just felt that each of them would have failed as much as my previous ones had. So, I swiped at her again.

“No, Petey. We…” Her voice then trailed off, and I could almost see the lightbulb go off in her head… right before she held me up out in front of her like I was some sort of dirty bomb. Then, setting me in my booster seat, she utilized the strap attached that I had never used before. “There,” she said with no small amount of clear satisfaction. “Now you’re handled on one level, let me…” She trailed off again before finding my diaper bag that my mom had packed earlier.

“I know she said… aha!” To my horror, she then plucked out a small white object that had some sort of blue design in the center on one side and something more yellowish white on the other. Second later, I knew what it was for sure as she popped it into my mouth.

I wanted to spit the pacifier out, but as had happened before, like with the whole bit with Agent Brooks, the thing didn’t seem to want to move. Worse, after trying to spit it out, my cheeks picked up a small pattern and sucked it. It was only for a few seconds, but it was enough for me to feel a wave of calm drape right over me.

Smiling, Linda nodded with a sigh. “Whew! Thank goodness I remembered that being mentioned as one of the ‘just in case’ items from your mom. Still…” Her face trialed back outside. “Maybe you were just fussy that I stopped your fun? Maybe your nap might have been just a smidge too long and you need to burn off some energy.”

Holding up a finger and looking confused for a moment, she then snapped and went over to the main countertop. “Let’s see… let’s see… ah! Yes! Just as I thought.” She then pulled herself away from whatever she was looking at, now sporting one of the widest smiles I think I had ever seen. “Let’s get you some more sun and take a stroll around the block to go to the park, huh?” I tried to muffle a protest, but Linda only seemed to take it as enthusiasm. “Well, I’ll take that as a yes then.”

Utilizing the diaper bag that my mom had packed earlier, I could only watch and struggle in vain as I was then moved to the stroller my parents had bought. I had popped in it a few times, but I always insisted on walking. Today, I wasn’t given the choice, especially when the straps were pulled over me and then buckled into place. “There. All nice and snug as a bug in a rug. Let’s get going, shall we? Daylight’s burning!”

Pushing out from our house, Linda locked the door, checked to ensure she had everything on her and checked her watch before lifting up the stroller and hauling me off the front porch and to the sidewalk. Her strength was impressive, but only a sad reminder of how little I was in control of anything right then. So, resigned, I stopped struggling and just laid back, hoping all this would end sooner rather than later.

The two of us then strolled around the block and up another before getting to the entrance of the park. It wasn’t the biggest in the city by far, but it serviced several communities and even contained a few soccer fields, one baseball diamond, a small pond, and a little shack with a few restrooms inside and a snack vendor around the back.

By far though, the busiest part of the park today was the playground. Even bigger than the one just for my parents’ neighborhood, this one didn’t differentiate between ARs and normal kids and babies. As such, once we got there, all the parents and caregivers were mixed in as well.

“Oh, my goodness, Linda!” one gushed. “Who’s this little fella?”

“Oh, hey there, Miss Summers. This here is Petey,” she explained, completely talking over me. “He’s the Crichton’s son… bit of a problem in the family today, so I’m just babysitting.”

“Oh no,” another woman grieved. “I hope everyone is alright. Please give them my love and sympathies.” Linda nodded and the whole conversation went like that for a little while. I was trying not to draw too much attention to myself and being a little fearful of repeating the first incident from the park where my mind slipped into full-blown Infasia, I stayed put… but that really can last only so long when your mind isn’t effectively turned off.

“Oh, Petey!” Linda pulled my stroller closer to her spot on the park bench and tried moving it back and forth to calm me down. It didn’t work and she sighed. “Well, I guess being outside, you’re going to need to get all those wiggles out, huh?” Playing along, I nodded quickly.

Most of the women just chuckled while Linda finally let me go. I was half-tempted to run away right then or even make my way over to Amanda’s friend’s house, knowing right where it was from whenever our mom picked her up on the way back home, coming directly from Linfield. Looking at even the great distance between the playground and just the entrance that was my parents’ neighborhood… I had to concede defeat on that level.

To further my problems though, I was still fearful of another bullying incident occurring. I didn’t have any of my friends here, Amanda was on her own playdate, and while Linda was great, she seemed too distracted by the others to instantly rescue me right then. So, I instead set my ego aside and just played with the regressed ARs and real toddlers and babies. I had done it before but today felt different. Depressingly, none of them put up a fuss and even welcomed me into their midst with open arms. It was another blow to my ego.

Still, I at least had a little fun chasing them around, but like clockwork and right on schedule, my stomach began to growl. At first, I wanted to ignore it, but call it fragile or regressed emotions, but not ten minutes later, I felt like I was in agony and that a hole from the stomach acid burning its way through was now forming in my stomach. Wincing and seeing no other choice, I trudged over to Linda from her side and pulled on shorts. Turning to me, I tried not to seem so pathetic. “Hun’wy…”

I really hated my pacifier right then, but Linda seemed to know right away what I wanted. Instead of just pulling out a snack bar or some homemade trail mix like I was expecting though, she plucked me up, deposited me back into the stroller and waved goodbye to everyone.

For once with her, it seemed to me a miracle that we were going home. I could feel the elation bubble up inside of me… until we made a left instead of a right near the exit. Wiggling forward, I tried to see where we were going… at least until I saw a wide picnic bench right under the shade of some overhanging trees. Considering the heat of the day, it was a perfect spot, but I was confused why we had to come here for snack time.

At least until I saw her pluck out the diaper bag and then a large bottle of what I could only assume was milk.

I wanted to protest hard, especially when I was removed from the stroller once more. I wanted to protest even harder when she sat down on the bench… and then cradled me in her lap. “Alright… here we go, sweetie…”

Popping the pacifier from my mouth, I felt finally free enough to protest loudly. “Linda… I…” But Linda was quick…to quick for me, and snapped the bottle right into my mouth, it’s creamy contents soon gurgling right down my throat.

I wanted to protest and spit, but two things happen that I already knew about… but was really just hoping they were flukes. First, like the pacifier, once the bottle was in, I couldn’t spit it back out no matter how hard or what I tried. Second, and more worrisome, was that as soon as the milk hit my tongue, not only did I not want to stop, but I also began to feel a peculiar cloudy sensation start to blanket my brain.

Considering my day, I think I might have been forgiven in accusing Linda of drugging me to keep caring for a ‘baby,’ but I knew I had to dismiss that thought. See, back when I was staying overnight in Building 4 at Linfield, I was exposed to several aspects of what could be in store for my future. To not be cruel, it wasn’t the full experience of toddlers and babies out there, but bottle feeding definitely made the list. So, back today, I remembered the time when Miss Bea fed me with a bottle from the comfort of her lap. Like now, I had become cloudy and couldn’t spit the bottle out until I was done. Today, however, felt much stronger and more powerful. In a little way, I felt that if I pulled any harder, my face might go against the resistance… so I had to resign myself to just finishing the bottle.

I felt bloated, half-dazed and more than a little embarrassed, but as soon as the nipple as out, I began to speak up once more, wasting no time to try and get myself out of this whole mess. “Linda… I ca…” But once again, Linda was too quick, and popped the pacifier back in.

“There!” she remarked triumphantly. “Let’s just keep that in, shall we? I think with everything going on today, a little peace and quiet might just do you some good, Petey. Your brother in the hospital must be tough, so, let’s just walk around a little more and try to enjoy the day as much as we can, okay?”

I was having a hard time pinning Linda down. On one hand, I wanted her arrested for assault or something… anything, for her treating me like a baby when I wasn’t one. I didn’t know the law, but it just felt wrong… and that would be that. But… I also wanted her to cuddle me tight and play silly games with me. She just had this… enduring quality that was hard to find in people. A lot of people in my life had that spark, but I knew from hearing other’s stories, it was more of an exception rather than a rule. So, only nodding, Linda placed me back in the stroller and took off again.

That’s how I ended up in a stroller, frustrated but admittedly peaceful as well on the most beautiful of days in a little while. No rain… just sun and the birds chirping or an occasional tune as a card drove by with its windows down. It was a nice little moment of no worry and less concern about others… at least until Linda stopped pushing the stroller and came around to the front.

Pulling my shorts to one side, she stuck her finger into the leg band of my diaper. I whimpered in protest, but diaper checks just came with the territory. “Oh my… Petey… you’re positively soaked. I don’t think you’ll be able to last all the way home without leaking all over. Once is more than enough in a single day, so let’s see…” I could see her eyes scan across the horizon. “Oh! Right there!” I wondered what she was referring to, but less than a minute later, I recognized the building’s brick façade almost instantly.

It was the public restroom of the park.

I started whimpering right away. This time, there wasn’t a mix-up in communication, but the problem with that is that I think it just went to confirm Linda’s suspicions over me being tin the midst of a bout of Infasia. So, being the good babysitter she was, she picked me up and cradled me to her chest, stroking my back tenderly as she rocked back and forth. “Shhh, shhh… it’s okay, Petey. I know that wet diapy is probably no fun. Just one second while we wait… Easy… easy… shhh…”

Fortunately, though to my shame a little bit, it did actually make me feel better. I was still in a wet diaper and about to be changed while in a public restroom, but my internal swell of distress had been dampened at least a little bit. Unfortunately, being in that position, the other moms in the women’s restroom, flocked to me and either gave me sympathetic looks or exchanged little chats with Linda. Being a respected and known member of the community, everyone probably thought she was just consoling another toddler… not an AR who had been a full-grown man only a year ago now.

“Okay… it’s all yours…” the woman at the single changing table announced, turning back to us as she cradled her daughter in her arms. I couldn’t tell if she was an AR or not, but the deposited diaper into the nearby trash bin was bad enough. Seeing my muted distress, the woman gave me a sympathetic smile but said nothing and went on her way after washing both her and her daughter’s hands.

“Okay, Petey… now the not so fun part…” Being experienced, as I had seen before, Linda laid everything out she was going to need and quickly stripped me of my shorts. Shooting my hands to my face, I think Linda saw and slowly pulled them back. “It’s okay, Petey. Just a little change. Tell you what though… I think someone needs a friend.”

I quickly thought of Poofin, and I could feel a swell of relief in my chest. Unfortunately, it turned out to only be a simple cat stuffed animal, one I recognized as at least one that used to belong to Amanda. Now, it was given to me, and as much as I wanted to toss it, I brought it close up to my face and buried myself in it, drying desperately to distract myself from what was going on below.

I couldn’t see anything, and maybe that was a good thing, but the scritches of tapes and the blast of cold air on my privates left nothing to the imagination of what was happening. Hands on my ankles and alarmingly cold wipes were then maneuvered all over my lower half before the offending garment was removed. A new one was slid underneath followed by a thorough dusting and then quick retaping of the diaper. The change was over, but I could feel the heat of the blush still present all over my face.

“There, there,” Linda cooed to me, gently pulling my hands away from my face once more. “All done. But see? That wasn’t so bad?” I couldn’t really agree or disagree with her, so I still just kept silent, even when the little stuffy cat was put back into the diaper bag. One toss of the horrid diaper and handwash later, and we were both back outside and heading home.

On the way, I reflected on everything that had just happened, but I was having a problem doing just that. At first, it felt more like someone was tapping me on the shoulder and pausing my train of thought. When we turned the block though, I was pausing and looking at the wonder of everything around me with utter fascination… taking at least a minute in between the pauses to get back to what I was thinking.

With the view of my parents’ house coming back into view, I then realized what was happening. I didn’t think the park was that bad, or that I was at the point of random bouts yet, but I guess I was wrong. So, for at least the second time today, my mind was slipping back into Infasia. Knowing the causes and ticks of it though, as soon as I was back inside, I tried just about everything to put it off or even circumnavigate it. I wasn’t extremely successful, but it proved to be just enough that I was in the midst of cuddling with Poofin when Amanda returned home.

I think her day, minus the news of Lucas, had been a highlight of her week at the very least, and she couldn’t stop talking about it to either me or Linda. Seeing the time though, Linda soon retreated into the kitchen to start our dinner. Amanda continued her story, but right at the end, between braiding hair and pretending like they had a mock salon, she stopped and stared at me intently for a moment.

“Uh… Petey? Why do you have a paci?” Her question was straightforward and non-judgmental. In fact, if anything, I definitely heard a smidge of concern.

I tried to say something, even going so far as trying to remove my pacifier once more, but it just wouldn’t budge. So, with pleading eyes and a few hand gestures, I stared back at Amanda to get my message across. Gratefully, she seemed to get the gist of the first thing that I wanted. “Miss Linda? Can we go up to my woom to play?”

The clanging of pans stopped, and Linda soon reappeared back in the room before shaking her head. “I’m sorry Amanda, but not this time. I need to keep at least an ear out for you two and with Petey… I need to be nearby in case he needs something. If you need something from upstairs though, I’d be more than happy to get it for you.”

Amanda paused for a moment, temporarily looked at me, and then returned to Linda. “No… no thank you… Jus’… wonderwin…” Linda nodded and returned to the kitchen where the song of cracking and some scrapes could soon be heard.

To my relief, Amanda also understood the second part of my signs to her, and reaching across, she plucked out my pacifier with ease. “Oh! Dank you!” I grimaced at my failing words. I knew it wasn’t going to be long now.

“Petey… what’s wong?” she asked, her own concern clearly growing. “Why’d you have the paci? You get in twouble with Miss Linda?”

I shook my head. “No… I jus’… she tought I had Infa… Infashia…” I groaned but the word was close enough. But despite my growing speech impediment, I told Amanda everything.

“Oh, Petey…” It was quite the turn of events to see my sister so concerned for me. Between Dr. Smothers guidance and our at least three times a week meeting to discuss problems regarding my ARV though, it was no wonder that she was starting to pick up what I liked versus what I hated as an AR. A public change and others gushing over me were right at the top of my discomfort level.  

“Pwease… don’ tell mommy or daddy…” I was definitely slipping now. “Dey don’ nee’ dis wowwy… jus’ between us, okay?”

Amanda didn’t seem to like the notion of keeping something from them, and I was a little worried she would tell them inadvertently, but I knew I had to trust at least someone besides them with this information. Besides, I didn’t want to yell or threaten her. If they found out… I wasn’t even sure what would happen. I just knew I had to explain something. “… and lastly, I might slip under…”

“With Infasia?” Her wording was slow and forced, but her pronunciation was much better than mine right then. So, I nodded, with Amanda responding by simply nodding… at least a first. “Well… I’lll pwotect you… I’ll keep you safe an’ comfowtable…”

She then paused and then scooted closer to me down onto the floor. “Petey… I pwomise… I’ll be the best olduh’ sistuh evuh!” I wasn’t the biggest fan of being called the ‘youngest’ by extension or not, but I could quickly feel the warmth start to dance over my brain. I should have been more scared but maybe sensing something was more wrong than I was admitting, she promptly hugged me just about as tightly as she could.

And that was how Linda found us. “Awww… let me take a quick phot for your parents!” Too focused on my own comfort, I clung onto Amanda and only heard the click. Seconds later, I heard something else. “Okay, you two… it‘s dinner time!” There was a brief pause. “Oh… and Petey? I’ve got the highchair all set up for you.” Maybe it was that statement alone or maybe another, I wasn’t sure, but what I was sure about right then, is that my mind finally gave up and slunk into the depths of another round of full-blown Infasia.

[CDfm]

Loved the new chapter. Petey sure got himself into a mess with Linda.  I am sure that Linda’s intentions are pure. But she doesn’t have the experience in dealing with an ARV. Poor Petey is being pushed to the point his Infasia is going to last a long time.  
I am eager to hear what happened to Lucas.  It would be a shame for Pete to loose his support. 
I can’t wait to read more. 

[BabySofia]

I think it's probably a mixed bag with that incident with Linda. I'm not sure she had experience, but she clearly knew about the 'what to do in 'emergencies'' a little too readily. That pacifier and bottle were probably both drugged, and she never let him get a word in edgewise. Hope it's not a permanent bout, or worse yet something that has lasting effects after that! 

I know the parents were desperate, but Dad could have stayed with them! 

This chapter reminded me a lot of the old ARV work 'Spring Eternal' where the victim was mostly staying an adult until 'grandma' came to town and was left taking care of him. 

 

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone!

So, including this chapter, there are only four more to go. Barring any problems on my end or technical glitches with the site or whatnot, the final chapter should be posted next week, likely on Monday. I’ll talk about what that means more then and what the future holds, but I just wanted to put out a thank you and congratulations here in the meantime. Everyone’s support for this story has been phenomenal and it’s definitely going to be bittersweet to finish up with it so soon.

Speaking of finishing up though, the end of one story means the start of another not long after. Looking at the poll today, the three different story options are only a few votes away from each other in a three-way tie. Calculating all the votes up, one story is pulling ahead, but just barely by a single vote. So, be sure to vote if you haven’t already, and just in case, here is the link again just in case you don’t want to scroll back or go digging for where chapter 2 or 13 is again.

https://strawpoll.com/ajnE16aXAnW 

So, with that in mind, as I have mentioned in the past though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these in the final tally as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here, and don’t worry… I’ll give you all a big reminder as well during the penultimate chapter of this story.

Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 23: Coming To…

It’s hard to describe Infasia in any real way to anyone who hasn’t experienced it before. Once you got it, nearly everyone asked, but even almost two months later since I first realized I had it, I was still unsure of how to answer that question exactly.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know, but every time I tried to explain, my words just didn’t do it justice. At one point, I said it was like going to sleep, but sleep is a total shut off from your senses and you almost go to another world in your dreams. It wasn’t like acting to be a different person, in most cases, you were a different person… almost akin to a split personality. But even that didn’t do it justice, when as the weeks progressed, I could recall more and more from my time under. There was still a line, but the line was becoming blurrier each time I went under with another bout. In particular, this one felt even stronger than usual.

I got brief flashes of the outside world, but they rarely last more than a few seconds at most… and they weren’t the most encouraging. Hands covered in food. Clapping over some silly noises. Smashing together some colorful blocks. Hugging Poofin. Each felt designed like a snapshot to show me just how much of a lack of control I had over my life but also show that all that was just out of my reach. In essence, I nearly felt like I was watching a movie of my life presented in small portions. So, as my eyes began to flutter open once more, I had to reorient myself as to where I even was.

At first, I was thoroughly confused. Diaper and clothing from when I went under before, check. It meant that it was the same day, and I had to be thankful for that. Poofin in my arms, also check. But looking around, with my brain still coming out of the fog, the high walls of blue plastic and mesh made me feel trapped… consolidated to one spot forever and an eternity.

Rubbing my eyes though, and even smacking myself lightly in the face, I recognized the area I was in… a playpen. I guess, to be more specific though, it was the playpen I had previously seen folded up to the side in the living room. It was a warning of the future I guess, but being in it now, it all suddenly felt all too real.

I might have freaked right then, even with Poofin still snuggled up firmly within my arms, his soft texture prickling into my skin like tiny feathers passing along. But soon, a familiar face popped into my view from just beyond the barrier of the playpen. “Petey? You there?” It was Amanda.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah? Am I… wha’ happened?”

“Oh,” she said longer than usual, like she had just realized something. “Miss Linda said you might not remember when you came to eventually. I told her that you weren’t under for long, but I think she thought I was jus’ bein’ silly.”

“And she’s…?” I worriedly looked around the room, but it still took me a second to spot Linda… talking with both my parents.

“… and they were both just about as good as can be expected,” she explained carefully. “I think Petey might need some firmer structure in his life, like maybe a routine of sorts, but I got the hang of his quirks pretty quickly, and by the end, he was all smiles!”

“Hey!” Knowing Linda how I did, it didn’t feel like she was lying… more just misinformed. So, I had to set the record straight. “I was under, dang it!”

“Sweetie… shhh!” my mom chided me from above, pursing her single pointer finger to her lips.

“No!” I felt like I was getting squashed again, and it was infuriating me something awful, so to emphasize my argument, I slowly got up on my feet. “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!” I stomped onto the padded surface, and it didn’t make much of an impact, but I felt my argument was far stronger that way. “I won’t stop!”

“Oh dear…” Linda mused, her worried expression matching my parents… though admittedly there’s was also a mix of maybe frustration and even shame. It quickly confused me.

“Pete…” my mom said with her usual caring and maternal tone. “Please… we need to hear what Linda has to say about how things wen…”

“No!” I stomped again and balled my fists, waddling over to the side, before shaking the barrier slightly. “Let me out! I have a say about this too! I need to speak! Now, now, now!” I grunted and groaned in anger. I hadn’t been this angry in a really long time, and it felt like a fire that needed to be let out of my belly or else I would burst.

“Pete! Stop,” my dad commanded, his face contorting to one of concern though, more than anger.

I only shook my head and stomped more. “No! I said no! I won’t be quiet! I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!”

“Honey…” Sighing, I saw my mom look over to my dad.

He nodded back at her and then came over to collect me. “Okay, slugger. Come on…” Without any hesitation or groan, his previously youthful body lifted me up with ease and supported me up to his chest, wrapping his arms tight around me.

I felt free… vindicated even. I was being taken out and as my dad started to walk away from the playpen, I felt I was finally going to be able to spew my vile all over this wretched babysitter. A good woman maybe, but not… ‘Wait…’ My dad was going the wrong way. Steps away from my mom and Linda, he hooked a right and quickly began trotting up the stairs. “Wait! Dad! No!” I began to struggle in his arms, but his tight hold of me seemed to refuse to budge, now clearly a pre-planned mode of ensuring I wouldn’t wiggle free once we started to walk away.

At the top of the stairs, I heard Linda and my mom begin to talk once more. Just as we rounded the corner to head to my room, I heard a creep, and from my position over his shoulder, I could just make out Amanda following right behind us.

“Alright, calm down there, buddy,” my dad said as we made it into my room. The forest atmosphere and dim lighting were admittedly already doing wonders to ease my mind. “I think we just need to take a timeout or two up here while Linda and your mom talk, okay?”

“But dad!” I complained. “Linda was…”

“No, no,” my dad commanded. “We can talk about her later, but I think right now, you need to get some z’s. I think someone’s feeling a little cranky from their very long day, huh?” And there it was. A simple sentence if there ever was one, but I just didn’t get it before. Now, to my embarrassment, I did.

I was tired, yes, but more importantly, I was also cranky.

Infasia was a shutoff of your brain in a way, and it was protecting itself, but it was still actively functioning. From the articles I had requested my parents to get for me and the few news stories I found and watched based on Infasia, many were comparing it to functions on a computer. Essentially, the memory and about half the processes were shut down or reduced, but the computer was still on… just with limited functionality. So, while I might not remember things from that time and my bodily functions and mental capacity might have been for my eventually bounce age, I was still awake… which meant now, when I came out of it, I was not only tired, but cranky as a result as well. Needless to say, I was a little distressed thinking about that.

“Oh, easy, Pete. Easy,” my dad said, trying to comfort me. He was pretty good at it, having done this with me and my siblings before, but he was good… I felt I needed amazing. “Shhh, shhh… no worries. Just rest your head against me and take some deep breaths…” I tried and it seemed to be doing the trick… at least partially.

“Daddy?” My dad’s hand rubbing circles into my back immediately slowed at the sound of Amanda’s voice.

“Yes, sweet pea?” our dad asked as he maneuvered me about to more of a rocking position in his arms. “You need something?”

I could see Amanda seemingly had a secret to tell. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but being partially obscured by the door, she then fully walked in and at the same time brought an object out from behind her back. Seeing the black soft coating once more, I recognized him immediately… it was Poofin.

Logical or not, a giant surge of endorphins seemingly flooded my brain at seeing my old and reliable friend. He was starting to feel like both my tether to this world, and yet the very symbol of everything I was raging against in my life. He was the comfort I sought in the middle of the night after a nightmare of say… me wetting my pants in front of Molly and then being mocked by all my old office buddies at my previous job. It wasn’t real, but Poofin made sure those feelings of fear and despair quickly dissipated.

Still feeling down about and embarrassed about my previous cranky tantrum, I only whimpered and held out my arms. Seeing Amanda hesitate, my dad smiled and beckoned her closer. “Come her, sweetie and give your brother Poofin. I think he needs him tonight.”

No longer looking nervous in the slightest, Amanda grinned widely and practically skipped over to me before placing Poofin right in my arms. Feeling his embrace once more felt like a soothing balm over my weary soul. And likely seeing my worries at least temporarily abated, my dad walked over to my crib and gently me nestled down inside. “Goodnight, Pete. I’m sorry about tonight, but we’ll talk more in the morning.”

I only nodded and cuddled intensely around Poofin. Smiling still, he ushered Amanda out of the room and switched off the overhead light, activating my small nightlight in the corner. “Love you, son.” I wanted to say it back, but he was already out of the room. And besides, as my eyes once again began to settle close, my mouth was otherwise occupied by my thumb. I might have freaked out about it then, but I only found comfort in the simple pleasure that it gave me.

*              *              *

The next morning came as swiftly as sleep had taken me. I awoke to a gnawing pain in my stomach and the usual wet diaper. I noticed that my thumb was once again slightly damp and pruny… another sign that I had utilized it in the night sometime. I didn’t fully remember doing it, but I shrugged and didn’t think much of it, only giving Poofin an extra squeeze.

“Okay… is my grumpy little guy a ball of joy once more?” my mom sang, coming into my nursery next. She had long ago assumed that I would be in the midst of a bout of Infasia as I woke up, or at the very least, not caring anymore that she did that. I think it made her feel closer or somehow more caring to me, so, even when I wasn’t in the middle of Infasia, I just let her do it at this point. There was little point in freaking out over a little cheery cooing anymore. Oddly, it almost made me feel… safe.

“Mornin’,” I said, the sleepiness of the previous night still clinging to me like the morning dew outside. “Much bettuh…” I shook my head a little, trying to manually shake the cobwebs out of my head… and I guess my tongue as well. “Better…”

My mom sighed, clearly in relief. “Good. I…” She trailed off a little but then walked over to my crib and plucked me out before setting me on the changing table, making sure I faced her first though. “Well… there’s no easy way of saying this, but… I’m sorry about last night and Linda. As soon as she started telling us what was happening, which I guess was about the same time you came to, I realized that she had made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” It felt like yesterday was now being trivialized with a simple platitude. “She… she…” I vividly recalled everything that happened before I actually lapsed into a bout of Infasia. I felt betrayed and wronged in so many ways, and while there was a part of me that wanted to chalk it up to a simple mistake, I felt like I wanted to burn everything down as well.

My mom sighed and shook her head. “No, no. I would never trivialize what happened to you like that. I just…” I then could see the anguish and regret my mom had. I still disliked Linda, but even that tiny show of compassion told me that what had happened was only a mistake… not some way to sabotage me into becoming her true baby boy again. “I… I wanted to apologize for what happened. Your dad or I should have stayed… or at least switched off with each other so you wouldn’t have needed a sitter in the first place.”

I was still extremely pissed at Linda, but I knew I had to concede a little bit on my side as well. My parents weren’t bad people… they were just juggling a bit too much all in a moment. “It’s… it’s okay. I just…” I made sure to stare at my mom directly in the eyes. “Just please don’t let that happen again.”

My mom quickly nodded. “No, never again. Linda has apologized and wants to apologize to you directly at some point, but she has offered to come back and sit again for you and Amanda.” I immediately wanted to say no, but my mom was a little too quick for me. “She says she wants to learn and understand, and I think giving her another chance wouldn’t be the worst idea… but I’ll leave it up to you, sweetie.”

“I…” I wanted to outright refuse, but again, maybe it was in effort to bolster my own mature image around my mom to compensate for my periods of Infasia… or the fact that I was sitting in a wet diaper right then. Regardless, though, I knew I needed to at least not slam the door in my mom’s suggestion. “I’ll… think about. No promises, okay?”

My mom sighed in clear relief once more. “Understood… now… before we get to Lucas… let’s get you all ready for the day. Who knows how long it might be if you have to sit in that diaper and wait while your dad and I explain everything.” I wanted to protest the wait, but I knew it was probably just an attempt to ensure I heard everything and wasn’t distracted by a diaper that needed to be changed or a hunger in my tummy.

So, we went through the motions once more like we did everyone morning now. Diaper change… a solitary bath… a change into clothes both juvenile and plainer than normal to mark my maturity when possible… and going downstairs for a seat in the booster and a nice breakfast that I could smell from the top of the stairs. Eating my oatmeal with little bits of fruit though, I noticed right away that my highchair wasn’t in its usual spot. I wasn’t using it, but it definitely had been used recently. ‘Linda…’

“Okay… change, shower, new clothes, breakfast… all done,” I said, still a bit annoyed that my parents were making me wait to hear about my brother. My one consolation in at all though was that I felt strongly that if he had been hurt… or was dead, they would have told me about it right away. “So, two things… first, I’m very sorry for how I acted last night. I…”

“It’s okay, Pete,” my dad said promptly, holding his hand up to stop me from continuing. “We all talked after you passed out last night and I think it was a trying day for all of us, right?” Amanda and our mom nearby both nodded quickly. “So, unless there’s something more to it, then say no more. We understand.”

I shook my head just about as quickly as they had nodded theirs. “Okay… then. More importantly I guess then, spill. How’s Lucas? Is he okay? Can you tell me that much at least now?”

My parents looked at each other intensely for a moment, before my dad nodded and then turned to me. “Well… your brother got hurt. Had to have some surgery to repair his spleen and set his leg, but bottom line… he’s going to be okay now.”

Surgery felt like something they should have told me before, and I also wondered why I hadn’t been told by Linda… at least until I realized that she likely thought I was in the midst of full-blown Infasia, and therefore probably couldn’t take the news then… or even remember it.

“Well, that’s good at least.” I had about a thousand follow-up questions, but one still plagued me the most. “So… how did it happen? Was it a drunk driver? Or was someone texting? Or…?”

“It was an AR,” my dad said bluntly.

For a moment, everything seemed to freeze.

I didn’t think my parents blamed me for what another AR did, but I could sense there was also maybe an underlying bitterness as well… at least to the AR responsible and ARV in general. “An AR?” I asked hesitantly, still seeing their cautious and resentful looks.

“Yes, Pete,” my mom said with a sound of acceptance but anger as well. “But we don’t blame you… or even ARV. This whole thing is just… it’s hard to deal with for so many. This time… this time it just hurt someone we all care about deeply.”

I wanted to note that it had hurt me… just looking at all I had lost and how I looked right then, still sitting in my booster sear in a turquoise t-shirt and stretch short that did little to hide the bulk of my diaper, but I felt that was too petty or selfish of me in the moment in comparison with my brother. He had to come first in this, so I pressed on. “So… the AR hit him, or…?”

My dad nodded. “We couldn’t find out much, but we know at least is that the AR in question discovered that he had just slipped into a bout of Infasia. Apparently, his family didn’t handle it all very well and he understandably freaked out.”

“Somehow… he got out of the car and took his dad’s car to escape everything.” I could sense my mom’s skepticism of how he did it without anyone seeing or stopping him, but she didn’t linger either. “He then went into a tailspin on the highway.”

“Oh no…” I had heard this all before. It was one of the reasons I had my driver’s license essentially revoked months ago now. There were just too many accidents, and so, I knew without even hearing the rest of the story, what had happened.

“Yes,” my dad confirmed. “His tailspin spun out of control and halfway into driving the car, he slipped back into Infasia. Went out of control and smashed into six cars. When they eventually pried him out of the car, he was hurt but alive… and deeply into the midst of a full-blown Infasia attack.”

“Poor little guy… apparently, he was bawling at the top of his lungs and had completely ruined his clothing from an accident.” I could see her resentment lifting slightly, probably putting herself in his mom’s shoes right then. Her empathy was strong and while that was nice at some moments, I could see my dad giving her a strained look right then as well. Honestly, I couldn’t blame him.

“But that’s why his license had been revoked already,” my dad emphasized. “Probably forgot how to drive, panicked, and then swerved into traffic.” Based on all the news stories when all this was first so common, I suspected my dad was right on the money. “Six cars hit, and Lucas got the brunt of it. One of the more severe and his car was totaled. I don’t care how badly he regressed right then. Someone needs to pay!”

“Greg!” I could see right then that both he and my mom knew he had crossed the line. It was understandable, but I had seen that look before in her eyes. They probably already decided to drop all this before. “We talked about this… Lucas got hurt, another AR couldn’t control themselves, and now we did to deal with the aftermath.”

My dad grimaced, and I could still see the bitterness in his heart to the AR who had caused the whole scene, but he sighed and nodded. “No, no… you’re right, honey. As always… you’re right.”

“It’s okay…” she said back, sighing with a little hint that she hadn’t totally forgiven the AR either. “Besides… his family is going to be fined, and some might even face jail time depending on the investigation. Enough justice is being doled out that we don’t need to add in our own.” My dad nodded and I could see that both just wanted to drop it.

Again, the blame of the AR still hung heavily in the air. Both my parents seemed resentful that an AR had hurt Lucas, and honestly, I felt a little to blame myself. Of course, I wasn’t responsible but, being the only member of the family with a severe case of ARV, as stupid as it was, I felt some degree of responsibility. Almost like a member of a group I was in had somehow violated our unwritten rules and was now making us all look bad. If I could have smacked him just once… I think I would have. I just hoped that others wouldn’t shift their blame of what happened onto ARs… we had enough problems in life, and we didn’t need the blame of yet another traffic accident hoisted on us now either.

But then my mom asked the question I could tell was still lingering about after last night.

“Pete… is your… uh…” I could tell what she was getting at, but I could also see her struggle to ask me about said subject as well. Considering how I acted last night and the AR that caused my brother’s accident though, I couldn’t blame her. “How is your Infasia? Is it… progressing?”

I couldn’t help but sigh and I knew I had to admit the truth to them sooner or later. I’m pretty sure it was obvious when I went under completely… seeing a video my dad took the other week, I seemed playful and every inch a baby, but that was only half the story. In truth, for weeks now, I could feel it seep out of the edges and into my normal life as well. It was just here and there, but I could tell that the ‘me’ everyone had known for so long was being replaced by another… younger version of myself.

“Yes… more full-blown incidents… but…” I didn’t want to admit it out loud. I wasn’t in denial… I knew it was happening but admitting it out loud made it feel more real for whatever reason. I wasn’t ready for it, but I couldn’t lie to my parents. “But I’ve been feeling it more in between as well…”

“In between… you mean?” My mom stopped and her eyes widened. “Wait… is that what’s been happening lately? Like last night? You were here… I could see that, but you were different as well. You dad and I just thought you were cranky, but… it’s more, isn’t it?”

I sighed but I ultimately nodded. “Yeah… I feel it coming, but then I think it’s just passed by, or at least I do until I think back on it later. Like Poofin…”

“Like last night…” My dad was clearly recalling when I had attached myself so firmly to Poofin to ease my nerves. So, I had to admit the truth to him and nod. “I thought it was cute, but… I did kind of wonder. It’s not a problem, but… it was just… different.”

The morning kind of progressed as usual, or at least as much as a usual Sunday could around the house lately. Amanda was dilly dallying in getting her hair all done up for the day and my mom was performing her usual dance routine in trying to finish the last of her barrettes into place. Dad was chilling and watching the news, but unlike usual, before the hour was even up, he turned the TV off and faced the three of us.

“Alright, that does it. One more sign that we should go,” he announced loudly but without any context.”

“Go?” my mom questioned, pausing briefly with my sister’s hair. “Go where, dear? What were you just watching?”

“The fair, Karen. I want to go to the fair…” Each of us stared at him blankly and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! It’s the annual end of summer fair… they hold it every year, or least every year besides last year. We all used to go as a family before then though. So, I say why not go today?”

It wasn’t the worst idea, and I knew that soon, the leaves would begin to change. I usually looked forward to it, but lately, the passage of time also meant more steps closer to my mind slipping out from me completely and diving deep into a long bout of Infasia like that was happening to Julia lately… or at the very least, getting even younger and losing yet another ability or physical feature.

“I don’t know…” I could see my mom’s eyes drift over to the dishes and a stack of magazines she said that she was going to go through on Friday… and then again yesterday.

“No, no…” I could see my dad had spotted her glance as well. “Think of it as an opportunity… you know… just in case…” He didn’t say it directly, but I could tell he was implying heavily about both me and Lucas. For me, he was confirming my own fears about my future, and for Lucas… well, that car of accident could have been much worse.

My mom gave one last look at the dishes but ultimately sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I suppose they can wait.” She then snapped the last of the hair ties into Amanda’s hair and stood back up from her previous crouch. “I guess we have to pack then, right?”

My dad smiled. “Right! Now, move out!” His orders clear, everyone broke apart and readied themselves as best they could. For him, it meant a shave and grabbing things like my stroller and the car keys. For my mom, it meant a touchup of her makeup and prepping my diaper bag after giving me a quick diaper change. As for Amanda and me… well, our duties were much less, but I could see her choosing which shoes to wear not long after, and for me… besides just going through another diaper change, more importantly, I had to decide on Poofin or no Poofin. He would be obvious, and I could see other kids making fun of me, but his comfort… ‘Ah! Screw it!’ I quickly grabbed him and made way to the front door, armed and ready for some fun today.

Piling all in the car, it was a little weird to not have Lucas tag along as well. Between his college and my college years though, not everyone always had the time to make it, but his absence was still felt a little as I looked to my left. Amanda, in her little booster seat, took his spot, but I knew the back was very empty in his missing presence. Right then, I made a mental note to beg my parents to see him tonight.  

Getting on the freeway, everything seemed fine and completely free… or at least until one of the bouncier tunes Amanda liked to listen to on the radio paused briefly for a quick news announcement. “We bring you this breaking news… scientists studying to figure out the cause, origin, cure, and other such elements of the age regression virus, more commonly known as ARV, have made a breakthrough in determining what they are now labeling as being ‘stuck.’ Previously thought to be permanent, it seems to now be associated with strain, years lost, and the age one bounces at. More to follow at the top of the hour. Thank you.” The radio switched back to another joyful tune, heavily contrasting the news we all had just heard.

It was a small victory, but also a damning one as well. For the pessimist, it was confirming that being ‘stuck’ at one’s bounce age was legitimate. The rumors had been flying for ages now, even despite the evidence of the younger ARs that had initially gotten regressed still stuck as newborns… over a year in now. So, for me, it hurt a little to know that even when I did bounce, I would likely have to endure at least a year of being treated as a baby. The optimist though, was more obvious… even getting ‘stuck,’ it wasn’t permanent.

Both my parents turned back to see me when they were stopped at a little traffic, and I could only give them the thumbs up. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it exactly, but I just hoped that whatever was the final result, my own time being ‘stuck’ was on the low end. At this point, I felt like I had enough bad luck with ARV… I didn’t need any more.

Parking in one of the periphery garages, I was once again placed in the stroller. My legs had gotten far too weak, and while the ride yesterday with Linda wasn’t ideal, it did make me realize that sitting inside, despite appearances for me, was probably the better option. Besides, it also housed the diaper bag and Poofin safely tucked away underneath… just in case on both accounts.

Strolling out of the garage, a familiar site came into view once more… the town square. For months, it had been the main scene of so much turmoil with broken tanks and helicopters strewn about in a sort of mock memorial, especially when it was also flanked on all sides by a large fence with missing posters, each more devastating than the last. Now, the fence was still up, but the last of the posters had been moved, families going to other resources, or through ARSED raids on illegal facilities and communes that had taken several ‘lost’ babies in after Orange Day, many had been found. Inside the fence though, the construction was paused today, but much of the area not filled with decades old trees were full of stones and gravel.

“Sign up now!” an elderly woman cheered from nearby, holding and waving a flyer above her head. “Enter the raffled and win a prize! Fund the memorial to all our victims here!”

Stopping briefly, my mom was the first to ask. “Memorial? To Orange Day?”

The old woman handed her a flyer and nodded. “That’s right. The mayor wants to erect a memorial for all to reflect on and think back on all the people we lost to the terrible disease.”

“They’re not lost…” I said quietly, but the bustle going on behind her quickly drowned out my words. Amanda, being nearby and likely hearing me the best of all, looked at me with a smile and rubbed my leg in support. I still was amazed at how much she had changed since all this started… not only from Dr. Smothers, but natural growth as well. As if to emphasize that, she was already preparing to go to kindergarten in a few weeks.

Finishing the sign up with a few bucks donated, we all pressed on. Vendors of all shapes and sizes lined the usually quiet garden paths or occasionally busy farmer’s market. Today, though, hundreds if not thousands crammed into the closed off streets for the final few days of the end of summer fair. Smells of baked goods, soaps, lotions, and sounds of music, wind chimes all poured into our senses as we entered. Of course, with Amanda in tow, all that seemed to thrill her… but none so much as the bouncy house pushed off to the side.

“Ooh! Ooh! That one first!” Grabbing onto my dad’s hand, I don’t think he was quite prepared for her low center of gravity and her sheer determination to go over and play there.

“Okay, okay!” he said, finally righting himself back upward and following quickly along behind my sister. “Bouncy house first then, I guess.”

Both my parents chuckled, and I discovered the main negative about being in a stroller… I had no say in the direction I was going. I was a king being chauffeured around… but on a preset path completely out of my control. What I could control though, was to let off a little steam and frustration that had been building since yesterday. Unfortunately… the buckles holding me into place in the stroller were just a bit beyond my control. “Ugh! Let me! Ugh! Out… of this thing!”

“Easy, easy there, honey,” my mom consoled, dropping down to let me out herself. For her, it almost looked like she could have breathed on the buckles to undo them. It was a blow to my ego, but I was determined to have some stress-reducing fun. “Alright… bye you…”

“And just where do you think you’re going?” my mom asked, already poised on the same level as me to quickly catch me before I had gotten even more than a step beyond my stroller.

“But… the bouncy house,” I noted, pointing to the large mass before me, all wiggling around and dancing like it was alive beyond just the kids horsing around inside.

“Oh, no,” she said, her voice turning stern. “I’m not letting you anywhere near the inside of that thin…”

“Karen…” My dad popped in from behind her and wrapped his arms around her chest. “Let him have a little fun today. Maybe get Amanda to watch out for him… you know she would love that.”

I could see the hesitation in my mom’s eyes but also saw them roll as well. “Fine… Amanda!” Amanda stopped bouncing and came back over, looking all sheepish as if she had just done something wrong. “Pete’s going to join you. Can you…?” She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Can you watch over him? Keep him safe in there?”

“Oh, absolutetively, mommy!” I could hear her excitement, especially to the point of using one of her made-up words that my parents found so adorable. Seconds later, I was hoisted on up inside and guided in by my her, still smiling wide.

It was an experience to say the least…

I was already pretty wobbly on my feet at that point. I had the strength to still stand, but I think my hand-eye coordination was just off these days. It was frustrating and I had to slow a lot, but I got over it… except in a bouncy house, there is no getting over it. I guess in there, my one saving grace was that when I fell… and I fell a lot, I was at least able to hit something relatively soft. It took something out of me to stay even upright, but the few times I could, I bounced to my heart’s content. Finally, I was able to let out some of my frustration… at least until we were called to get out to move on with our day.

I was a little disappointed at that, but with all the smells wafting toward us, it was no surprise that our next stop was the various food stalls. Sadly though, it just meant another caveat to my life… namely, my mom cutting up my food. Sure, I didn’t have to do it, but seeing my hotdog cut into more manageable bites… it did take a little out of the experience.

Next, all our bellies full and our ears ringing from one of the bands performing nearby, we all made it to the shopping areas. Everything from puzzles, to fudges, to soaps, to wind chimes, to stained glass. It was almost a situation of if you can imagine it, then it was there. Having no money on me, I could only point to things I wanted… but even that was limited. So, of course, I grew bored… like Amanda, which is I guess why she soon begged to get her face painted.

There was a bit of a line, and letting Dad go to get a drink of a newly developed lager beer, Mom waited in line with us patiently. Fortunately, that gave just enough time for Amanda to see the exact design she wanted. So, hopping into the chair, she was barely settled when she smiled and pointed to the middle picture in the whole array of designs. “Unicorn please!”

The attendant at the stall smiled and nodded. “Why, of course. Seems like a perfect match to me, right mom?”

“Oh, absolutely,” she agreed, swiping her card to pay for the experience. Honestly, right then, I think she was just happy to keep Amanda occupied and that it wasn’t too hot that the makeup would just sweat right off before too long.

Still, soon enough, Amanda right side of her face was covered by a unicorn head, a rainbow, clouds, and several groupings of sprinkles. “Yay! Thank you so much!”

She gave the stranger a hug, and I definitely could see her surprise, but she did smile as well. “Oh, well, you’re very welcome, sweetie.” Amanda let go, but then most unexpectedly, she turned to me. “Okay. Up on the seat, mister man.”

“What?” I hadn’t even considered getting my face painted, but I guess my mom did.

“Go on, honey.” Take a seat and choose which design you want. You know you want to…”

Not wanting to make a fuss, I sat down and recalled the dozens of times that I had gotten my face painted when I was younger the first time around. Dragons, superheroes, monsters… you name it, I got it. Several of our summer family trips showed the artistic skill of at least two dozen artists within a 500-mile radius of here. So, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still took me a minute to process everything and just give in and select a design.

Not long later, I was sporting a fearsome pirate makeup look. A mock eyepatch over one eye, a goatee, and a sickening scar going down my left cheek all added to the illusion. “Oh my!” my mom cried out, mocking her fright to my new face.

“Woah! Awesome choice there, Pete!” my dad said after taking a sip of his new perspiring beer.

The lady painting holding up the mirror, I looked into it and saw just what they were talking about. I had gotten a similar look back in first grade when we went to a theme park to the east of here, but this stuck me differently. I tried to think of why, but it then hit me. Before, I had never sported a goatee in my life, and I had maybe one or two scars at most. Since then, I had a phase in college where I grew out a beard, and I most definitely had acquired scars. Looking at my reflection, it was hard not to remember that both were now long gone in my life. “Thank you…” It came out meekly and the lady didn’t seem to need to be told anymore, giving me a smile and then a hand down off the chair. Still, I walked away with an odd feeling.

We did a little more shopping, but the day was growing short, and I could feel a bit of drowsiness begin to overtake me… or at least it did until Amanda squealed with excitement as she spotted the final corner of the fair. Coming every year, there were several farm exhibits, and next door, there was a traveling carnival of sorts.

Coming to it first, Amanda spotted the immensely tall slide, measuring at least 20 feet up in the air at the top. I wanted to go as well, and both of us asked our parents if we could go alone, but for us two, the response was very different from our mom. “Okay, Amanda. You can go this time by yourself. Just go nice and slow up the stairs, okay?” She nodded enthusiastically before sprinting off. My mom sighed but then turned to me. “And Pete… I can’t let you go by yourself. If you want though, I can go with you instead.”

I turned to my dad, to see if I could get his support in me going by myself, but he just shook his head. So, resignedly, I knew that it was accompaniment or not at all. “Fine… come on. I don’t want Amanda to think I chickened out or anything.”

My mom didn’t say anything and just prompted me up the stairs. Halfway and still holding our discarded bags from earlier, my dad called out to us. “Just keep going! I’ll be there for you at the bottom!”

Now, I wasn’t sure why, but for all my life, I had been a thrill junkie… at least until recently. It was the oddest thing, and maybe it had something to do with being smaller or my emotions being more in flux, but getting to the top of the slide, I saw Amanda go first… and my legs practically turned to jelly.

“Whee!” she cried all the way down. Looking over the edge a little bit, I saw her plummet to the bottom and then our dad catching her at the bottom. Both looked thrilled, but now it was my m mom and I’s turn… and I could barely move.

“You okay, sweetie?” I tried to answer, but my lips just wouldn’t budge… along with my legs.

“It’s okay, ma’am,” the man at the top said. “Happens all the time.” He then peered behind us. “No one’s coming though, so take your time, but also… no shame in deciding to opt out.”

“No!” I then grimaced and realized I had accidentally yelled that, so I tried to calm myself down and speak with a speck of maturity. “I mean… no, sir. I’ll be good. I just…”

He smirked and nodded. “No worries. My brother is the same way. Coaster junkie before if there ever was one. Kid nearly shook to death after going on a log flume ride last month. Strangest thing, but I’ve seen it a lot lately with other ARs.” I forgot about how obvious it was that I was an AR sometimes to other people.

“He’s right,” my mom chimed in. “I’ve heard from others too, and it’s okay to just walk back down the stairs… but if you really want to go, we can.” I debated about it, but I shook my head. Amanda may or may not have judged me, but I didn’t want to take the chance… and besides, I would have judged myself.

So, my mom made sure to sit first on the burlap sack we had brought with us, and with his foot on the sack, the attendant then guided me snugly into place between her legs. She then gripped me tight before giving me two quick squeezes. “Ready?” I couldn’t answer… just nod my head. “Alright… shove please?”

“You got it.” The attendant then leaned over and before I knew it, we were pushing forward.

I didn’t close my eyes, and I was proud of myself for that, but I can fully admit… my diaper definitely got warmer going down that thing. It was over in seconds, but I felt the plunge in my heart and the wind suddenly rushed all around me. In a blink though, we were done. “You made it!” my dad cheered.

“Yay, Petey!” Amanda then joined in. It was a brief triumph in the day, but Amanda had her eyes already set on our next stop. “Ooh! Petting zoo!” She was nothing if not predictable and both my parents and I all chuckled a little at her eagerness.

Having done all this before, going over, it was no surprise to anyone that she immediately gravitated to the pony. Her belief that she was a knight or a princess, depending on the day, was impressive.

As for me though, I was never a huge animal lover growing up. Sure, I liked cats and dogs and tolerated all kinds, even including snakes. But a lover had always just escaped my grasp, and that was okay to me, but today, I wanted to take advantage of as much as I could… at least while I could still enjoy everything with my adult brain that is. So, I wandered through the fenced areas and intermingled with the pigs, the geese and ducks, and even some bunnies… but then I came to the goats.

I guess I should have read further, or maybe my parents should have been following me more, but I saw their feed and thought it was a good idea to feed them. It just made sense to me… but I forgot one crucial detail. I had regressed since the last time I came up to a goat, and when hungry, they tended to push. Not an issue when you’re at least multiple times their size, but I wasn’t that anymore. So, when I put my hand out with the feed, they all came to me. I panicked and backed up… only to trip over and fall right on my butt.

It was a small thing really, and despite the slight sting, muffled admittedly by my diaper, I felt proud of myself for keeping it together. Even as the goats scrambled for the dropped feed, I felt proud of myself for not freaking out. Unfortunately, though, as I began to stand, I felt a small blurb of gas. I didn’t think anything of it… until I stood more and let out a bigger fart.

I realized the signs and panicked. I need to go bad, but part of me was used to all that by now. My control wasn’t stellar by any means anymore, and timing was everything. So, I felt staying calm was best… and I did. But as I stood, the cramps became almost painful… but easy too. I was barely standing though, still with a little hunch, and I guess it was too much.

And I felt a soft load exit without any force right into my diaper.

‘Oh no…’ I had thought of this one moment for months now. Especially when you’re told ‘under five’ and then worse of ‘under three,’ losing one’s potty training becomes a natural and horrifying part of the conversation. I was in Building 4 because of wetting my pants that one fateful day after all but going ‘poo-poo’ as some of the attendants called it… that was a whole new territory for me… at least while I was aware of it.

It didn’t take long for my mind to put it together initially. After all, food plus digestion equals going ‘poo-poo.’ There are even books about it that line some of the shelves at the daycare in Linfield, but I though I had been spared, still going occasionally on the potty. But it didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t going enough. So, I checked the design of my diaper one day… and found that it had changed. Confronting Miss Bea about it, she had informed me the truth.

Under Infasia, I had pooped my diaper.

So, pooping my diaper today wasn’t new, but this was the first time I was aware of it. All other times before, no matter how close, I still made it to the training potty. And now, here I was… in the middle of a crowd and with my family out and about. I tried to see if anyone had seen, but everyone seemed to be distracted by their own lots… except for my mom, I guess.

Being a mom, I suppose meant that her eyes were almost always on me while we were outside of the house when she could. I had never really paid much attention to it before, but now… I couldn’t just ignore it, especially as she came up to me and bent down. “Oh, sweetie. Are you okay? I saw you fall over.”

She wasn’t mentioning it before, but if she had seen one, she had probably seen the other. Still, I played partially dumb. “No, no… I’m fine. Just… unexpected.”

Her fingers and eyes were going all over my body, and I didn’t even think about it, but they stayed away from one area in particular. Finally, she stopped, and gave me a long, hard look right in the eyes. “Okay… you seem to be fine… but…” She trailed off for a second before looking around and then leaning into me as she whispered. “Did you have an accident though, sweetie?”

They were simple words, but earth-shattering at the same time. I felt like they were going to change everything, but I could already feel the weight of the lump now seated in my diaper, and I knew that without each passing moment, it would only get worse. So, without much choice, I knew I had to admit my problem and nodded my head.

“Oh, Pete…” I could hear her sympathy run through her words, but her actions spoke louder as she soon gave me a tight hug, squeezing me up against her. The comfort was unparalleled and I’m not too proud to admit that at that moment, I think, it was one of the few things that kept me from falling apart right on the spot.

After, instead of making a big deal out of it though, she kept nearly silent about it, even go as far as t suggest we split up to give Amanda more fun while giving me a little rest. My dad seemed a bit suspicious, but my mom’s tone of voice made it clear that it wasn’t a suggestion. Truthfully though, with some of the thrill rides that Amanda wanted to go on next, I don’t think anyone really minded splitting up.

So, that’s how I found myself holding my mom’s hands and toddling over to the public changing stalls. A little removed from the rest of the fair, they were actually kind of peaceful… except for a few obviously ARs who were still new to being diapered. Thrashing all over the place, it was about a miracle that no one got a foot or a smack to the face from them. Holding them tight, their caregiver could only struggle to keep ahold of them while mouthing ‘sorry’ to practically everyone in the vicinity.

Regardless, we were soon inside, and I was just grateful that it was a single stall where my mom and I were utterly alone. It made the next moments infinitely easier than they would have been otherwise… especially as my diaper was soon untaped and the filth coating my backside was wiped away. It was a truly terrible feeling but right before the main process and just as tears began to form in my eyes, my mom had calmly handed me Poofin. As such, right as my legs were lifted up, I proceeded to bury myself in his soft plush form.

“All done!” my mom cheerfully rang not long after she had finished taping up the last adhesive on my diaper. “Let’s get you all sorted and go for a rest, huh?” Squeezing Poofin even more, I could tell that a nap was fast approaching in my day.

Exiting, I could feel the exhaustion of the past today and yesterday once again catching up with me. I was fully rested last night, but my little body just didn’t have the energy to fully sustain itself anymore. Likely seeing me begin to fade, instead of simply rejoining Amanda and our dad, she instead wandered over to a bench nearby an overlook.

I honestly didn’t think much of it, at least until we sat down, and I could hear the rushing of water. Rising from my stupor ever so slightly, I looked out and saw the overlook and the stairs that led down to the riverfront entertainment district… my old stomping grounds before I could no longer make it back out here.

I thought back to all the clubs I frequented so much in my youth… to Simon’s Big Top Playhouse… to Oliver. I still thought of him and his seemingly unchanged ways from before he regressed. All that felt so long ago now… and almost didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. For example, once again feeling sleepy, I leaned into my mom as Poofin lay entwined in my arms, for once, feeling completely fresh and dry. ‘Yes… a very long ago now…’

Seeing me, my mom shifted about a little to capture me up even more. I didn’t mind. Her side was comfortable and safe… and her steady breathing was a calming motion for my worried mind. Right then, anything else that I had been thinking or worrying about, like my messy diaper that had just been changed and what all that meant, slowly didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” my mom asked, staring out over the river just beyond the buildings and the nightlife scene that was just starting to come alive as the sun barely began to touch the tops of the roofs on its way to setting.

“Uh-huh…” I mumbled, already feeling my eyes begin to shutter close for a much-needed nap.

My mom chuckled briefly and stroked my hair tenderly. “It’ll be okay, Pete. Just rest your head against me… yes, just like that…” I felt powerless under her sway. Months ago, that would have been a bad thing; just another attempt by her to baby me, but now… it was different. Now, her words were soothing and meant to calm my frazzled nerves. She was a rock for me and a guide and a cure for my troubled days. No tricks, no problems… calm, care, and love.

“Close your eyes if you need to, sweetie. It will be alright. You let me worry about all that other hard stuff… you just focus on having fun and relaxing now. That’s it… There you go…” I closed my eyes as if on command, but really just not feeling the energy any longer. Weekends were supposed to be relaxing and a way to recharge, but with my new life, there was no escape. So, when I was told to relax, I did. And more importantly, right then, when I was told that everything was going to be alright, despite any evidence to the contrary, somehow, I fully believed that as well. Soon, all that mixed together seamlessly and I drifted off, content in the knowledge that no matter how I felt, because of my family… everything might just turn out okay.