A Little Change of Perspective: A Diaper Dimension Story (Chapter 30 - Complete)

[Kat5]

20 minutes ago, Guilend said:

I'm hoping that knowledge from work and her time with Paul might be enough to get her through this without too many issues.

I just want to verbalize that we are all SO invested in this story right now.

[Guilend]

15 minutes ago, Kat5 said:

I just want to verbalize that we are all SO invested in this story right now.

I'm happy to see I'm not the only one. 

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone! So… darn. Finished this last night and the site went down. I guess it is what it is, but I didn’t want to wait until tonight to post this chapter. I’m going to try and get out another one later, but here’s this one for now.

Regardless, a big, big thank you to everyone who has been commenting, reading or liking this story so far. I know it’s not the more traditional version that a lot of people seek out on this site, but I’m glad to see that a few of you are enjoying it so far.

There’s a lot planned, and I just wanted to say one thing more here. Many of you have pointed out some flaws or elements that don’t seem to click just right yet. I will just say for now that nearly all of them will be answered soon, or there is a reason why I have written it that way. Just hold on and enjoy the coming ride.

Also, as a reminder, the poll for my next story is still going on. As a reminder, as usual, I will post my decision of my next story during my final chapter of this story. Until then, feel free to comment here or personally message me what you want to read next. I like all the choices I am presenting, so choose what you want. For those not sure of the choices, just refer to the beginning of chapter 2.

Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 17: No One Said It Would Be Easy

Good gracious, was being a Little hard! Being a Big that had been trained at the LPS academy when it was first created, our methods were… unorthodox to say the least, but were turning out to be truly valuable now. While they included the usual regimens of strength and coordination training, firearms skills, assault procedures, laws, and all the rest of the usual courses, the training also included some more… unusual tests as well.

I think it honestly started as a joke, but for a week, we had to wear a special underwear that essentially amounted to wearing something in between my current training pants and what I imagined diapers would be like. I think it was to break us down into the moldable agents they wanted, but skills like that, taking down larger opponents, and being tested on all sorts of Little products and backgrounds, was basically the only thing saving me out here in the field lately.

True, I had spent a few days basically locked in my slum apartment, that seemed dismal even as I fixed it up, but I eventually had to get more groceries. So, getting used to my new body and then ensuring I could physically make it outside, I finally left. Things weren’t any easier though, and I was starting to get a suspicious feeling about this whole mission.

Every time I left my apartment, even being in a more heavily populated Little area of the city, I was surrounded by near ravenous Bigs. It seemed that for every block I walked, another Big seemed ready and eager to take me back home with them. Kidnapping was illegal, but knowing this world as I did, I knew there were always around that. So, I never accepted money, gifts, drinks, handshakes, or pretty much any other friendly gesture from a Big ever. Some nearly spanked me a few times for my perceived rudeness, but I had managed to evade them just in time and wiggle my way out of those situations. It only added more fuel to my already growing suspicions about this mission.

A tiny part of my paranoid brain kept telling me that I was set up to fail. My apartment was in the middle of the Little portion of town, but it was also near to another nearly Big only apartment complex. Just last week, one of my downstairs neighbors had an accident in front of them and all everyone saw of them again was their apartment being packed up.

My internal alarm bells had been ringing before, but now, they were practically shouting at me. Unfortunately, unless I pulled my ripcord and came in early without success, I had no way of fully communicating with LPS about what had possibly gone wrong. Astrid was normally so cautious about these things… I even started to wonder if she had set all this up herself or not. Still, I had to wait for next Thursday’s dead drop to communicate my weekly progress to LPS. Until then and as a result, though, I kept to myself most of the time in my apartment… just in case I was being set up to fail somehow.

For other Littles, this might have been a near death sentence if they had to work outside and were discovered to be neglectful in their job, but fortunately, LPS had at least set me up with a remote job; Littles life counselor. At first, I was only okay at it, but now, after some time dealing with Bigs, I was able to call on my previous training and new life experiences to near expert levels. “And did you try those breathing exercises we tried on Tuesday, Carol?”

The anxiety-ridden and near agoraphobic Little on my screen hesitated but nodded. “I did, Miss Susan, but… but… I…” I could see I was going to have my hands full today with her, but yes, my name had been changed as well…

Carol’s anxiety wasn’t doing her any favors, and I just knew deep down that unless something changed soon, a lack of her medication from Earth was likely to eventually doom her. Still, for now, I could already see the cracks forming in my client today. When I first met her two weeks ago when I first arrived and started my job, she was nervous, but also truly an adult. Now, especially seeing her hug her new stuffed animal off camera where she likely thought I might not see it, I knew she was at a critical stage. If she could just get a burst of maturity, I knew I could bring her back from the brink.

“Come on, now, Carol. Take a deep breath for me…” She attempted it, but just sputtered out after only a second. “That’s okay… one more time. In… and hold!” I could see her struggle, but without her medication from back on Earth or access to it here, I could only do so much on my end. Counseling and breathing techniques would help, but I knew I was fighting an uphill battle already. “Very good. Now, release…”

Carol exhaled and smiled. I could already see her begin to calm down. It was a relief to me as well, because I knew that now we could get down to business. I still wanted and felt I needed to help these Littles… I guess fellow Littles, but I had received this job for another and more specific reason.

When I first entered my dingy apartment, I knew I was already going to be facing a challenge with my current assignment. If the walk over wasn’t easy, everything else seemed to nearly impossible as I read the hidden documents from LPS explaining my assignment further. It told me of my new name, Susan O’Brien, my job, and what my task was exactly.

I knew that I needed to rescue Paul and infiltrate LRG, but reading over my instructions, my job seemed to be one of the best ways to do that. And to supplement my job, and the other way to possibly get into LRG, I needed to attend a weekly support group, which is where I had originally met Carol. Tonight was another meeting, so, as soon as Carol and I finished our virtual meeting up, I braced to leave my apartment and head into the dangers of society.

Fortunately, the meeting was held at a local rec center that heavily catered to Littles. While half of the building did seem to resemble more of a daycare, the other half seemed like most any normal rec center. The high number of changing tables in all the bathrooms was a bit concerning, but I proudly still wore my training panties. Considering all the drugs and potential traps out there for Littles, still sporting a pair of training panties was nothing to sneeze at.  

“Welcome everyone,” Ronald, our group leader, announced as we sat in a circle around each other. “I see we have some new faces, a few old, and a few missing. Let’s bow our heads and recite our creed.”

We all did, and while I thought it was a little hokey at first, by now, I felt that every Little needed to know the creed. We all closed our eyes, some held hands, and we all began to speak it aloud at once. “We are Littles. We are many, but we are weak alone. Some may disappear and some appear from far off lands, but today I stand hand in hand with other Littles. I am safe here. I trust in others, and I know that trust is hard to come by. Through all these things though, I am a Little.”

Everyone opened their eyes and Ronald smiled. “Now, I see a few new faces, and we would like to hear you, but would anyone else like to share something from this week to start?” Most kept silent but Timmy, as he liked to be called now, began bouncing up and down from his spot near opposite of me in the circle.

“Yes, Timmy?” Ronald called out on him. I could tell that Ronald still held a mixture of reluctance and sympathy for Timmy. Tom had been coming to the meetings for weeks, but after slipping up at his job, another Big had taken him in to ensure he would be able to make it on time and to take care of his more pressing needs. It had been a downward spiral since then though and the group waited and watched until the day that Timmy was no longer going to be allowed back, or just simply couldn’t make it anymore. Sadly, I already knew of ten members of the group that matched one of those outcomes in the three weeks since I had started coming and no longer attended.

“Well, well… I goh’ a new toy da uddah day!” I could already see a few people in the group groan. When I first met Timmy, he was already diapered, but he held a certain dignity where he could regarding his evident regression. Now, no one could claim he was unregressed anymore, especially after he began to suck his thumb at one point.

“Thank you for that… illuminating story,” Ronald noted to Timmy as the regressed Little sucked his thumb further a few minutes later. Apparently, another Little didn’t want to share her toy in daycare with him and that was causing Timmy a lot of distress lately. Ronald, as patient and understanding as he was, clearly wanted to move on now.

The group learned a few new stories that actually seemed relevant, and I made a note to talk to them later on whether they wanted additional counseling or not, but finally, Ronald turned to the new members of the group. While the guy Little just crossed his arms, the other Little, seemed more willing to speak. “Yes, and your name is…?”

“Fara…” she said shyly. I couldn’t blame her. Presenting in front of a group could be hard with these situations, especially if it was about something embarrassing.

“Welcome Fara,” we all said in unison.

She smiled, clearly relieved that she was finally among friends, but I could still see a sadness there… maybe even a little anger. “I… I was grabbed today by a Big…” You could clearly see who had been here the longest as most of them nodded in sympathy, but their faces also showed that it had become frighteningly all too routine for them to hear by now.

Ronald, ever our leader and steadfast supporter of even the most wayward or regressed of Littles, nodded as well, but his eyes still showed a caring attitude toward her plight. “That’s one of the most difficult things we have to face here, Fara. We’re just glad you got away.”

Fara seemed appreciative but her face nearly snarled. “But did I?” I could tell that Ronald was not expecting that type of question. “I mean… look at all of us!” Her anger rose as she gestured to the group. While it was unusual to reference others, for fear of upsetting anyone who’s emotions may have been regressed, it wasn’t hard to see the point she was making.

Of the 18 of us here tonight, I knew that only about six of us weren’t in some type of disposable underpants by now. Ten of the group wore something decidedly unadult, and at least three that I could see were like Timmy and barely even paying attention even now. Cindy, likely the next to not return, was even sucking her fingers while cuddling her newest stuffy.

Ronald sighed. “It might feel that way, Fara, but this is only one group. It might seem dire, but some of us have been here all our lives and still haven’t been forcibly or accidentally regressed. Even me…” He trailed off for a moment. He rarely ever spoke about himself, more than a comforting anecdote of what was normal or the like, so now, everyone paying attention leaned in to hear him better. “I was just like you… scared and confused, but then I found purpose and found out the unspoken rules around here. It might seem like the impossible, but just take it one step at a time.”

Fara still seemed unconvinced, but I knew from personal experience that Ronald would likely talk to her after the group meeting had ended tonight. Still, I felt I had an opportunity here. While I genuinely cared about helping Littles, the goal of helping Paul was never far from my mind. I had been introduced to this group to interact with Littles and find ways to get in with them, but to such a wide audience, I knew that at least one of them had to be associated with LRG. I knew I had to take a shot at least.

“But it shouldn’t be like that!” I said, smacking my thigh on purpose for emphasis. Ronald quickly turned to me in shock. I didn’t want to blow my cover on my first day, so I had held back. Now that I had researched more about California, my chosen backstory, and was more comfortable as a Little in front of other Littles, I knew I needed to strike out in some way soon to accomplish my mission before too much longer. Tonight felt like the perfect opportunity.

“Well… that’s certainly one opinion,” Ronald tried to say while also staying strictly neutral. I could tell from his eyes though; I had struck something deep within him. So, I only pushed further.

“It is, but if that had happened on Earth, or from one Big to another Big here… they would have been strung up by their heels… or at least prosecuted.” I could tell I was striking a chord with many of the Littles in the circle as they nodded in agreement. “Why should it be so different in this case?”

I was pulling from every Little whom I had ever heard complain about our system here. I had always thought it was just talk but having been a Little now for even just a few weeks, I could already begin to feel myself siding with them more and more. While a part of me had just put on a show, there was a growing and very real sense of anger now in me about how Littles were treated.

“Maybe, but you aren’t on Earth anymore, Susan,” Ronald directed at me. I knew I had to get used to my name and I made a mental note to yell at my reflection my name in the mirror tonight. “These Bigs have their own laws and customs. Just as if you were going to a far-off country back on Earth and needed to respect their customs, the same goes for over here.”

The group made several other comments after that, but another derailment by Timmy talking about playground etiquette essentially ended the lively discussion and meeting after that. As I started to talk to Fara and a few other newbies about the potential of counseling, I already could see that Ronald was just about to have a talk with Timmy. Cindy was worse off mentally, but at least she was quiet. Seeing that, I sadly doubted that Timmy would be returning again to us.

Just as Ronald finished up from a somewhat tearful Timmy, I saw him coming over to us. “So, you really think you could help me out?” Fara questioned yet again. I found her doubt over being counseled was usual at the stage she was at.

Feeling I could help her though, I nodded. “Absolutely. I know from my own experience that as a Little new to here, we can get thrown into the deep end way too quickly for our own good. It can cause a lot of problems, and even if it’s just a single chat, I promise I can get your feet wet with some of the unspoken rules or even just a few tips and tricks.”

Ronald soon joined our little group and after a moment, Fara and I both stared back at him when he seemed like he wanted to speak up. “Ladies…” I nearly excused myself, thinking he was going to talk to Fara about her problems, but instead, he turned to me. “You mind if we talk for a moment, Susan?”

I wasn’t prepared for it, so as I stumbled with my words, I could only nod my head as Ronald noted to Fara that he would see her after he was done talking to me. Still unsure of what to say at first, I let Ronald guide me to the side for a moment. “So… feeling a little more vocal lately, huh?”

Finally finding my words, I nodded at first. “I have been, yes. I didn’t want to make a stink before. I know all this can get a bit touchy for some of us and I just wanted to make friends at first.”

Ronald sighed and scratched his head. “You know… when I first met you, I thought you were just coming to these meetings for new clients.” I blushed and he noticed. “Don’t get me wrong, I definitely approve of what you’re doing and it’s great or even needed for some of the Littles here. One meeting a week just isn’t enough, but I thought that was all that was going on with you.”

“Oh?” I could tell he was trying to make a point ore even a gesture of some kind to me.

“It’s even a noble pursuit admittedly, but tonight…” I could already tell that he was impressed. I felt like it was a good sign, but I wondered where he was going with this. “Well, I think I finally can see what Carol told me last week. I couldn’t believe it at first, but… well, here we are.”

“What did she tell you?” I looked over at Carol briefly, her usual shy demeanor always shedding a bit when she was around other Littles in similar circumstances to her.

“She said you were a good listener, but that you also had a confidence… a spark in you that we could use.” I could feel my heartbeat rising. He said ‘we’ as in group. My heart filled with excitement, but I knew I needed to be sure.

“What are you trying to tell me, Ronald?” I asked, still trying to keep a low profile and not come right out and accept his offer to a new group.

“I’m always looking for new Littles to join our group, Susan, and I think you meet my criteria.” He started numbering them on his hand. “Connection to Littles, check. Ability to think critically, check. Works well with others, check. Some knowledge or useful insight into our plight, check. Anger, frustration, or sadness over our massive Big problem… I would definitely say check after tonight.”

He said it… the magic word: ‘group.’ My foot was in the door, but I knew I still had to cautiously approach this situation. “So… you all meet in another rec center or something?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly…” He then quickly popped a card out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was entirely plain, except for the words ‘Little Group’ on the front and the address on the back. “I want you to come to this address. Stop by this coming Thursday and just meet a few people. You like what you see… we can talk more after. That sound okay?”

It most sincerely did. I recognized the address. It was out of the way of the rest of the city except for a few bus lines and the main subway and was mostly comprised of old and abandoned warehouses. Most hadn’t been used since before the Great War after a few got hit by bombs during the early stages of that disastrous conflict. They were out of the way but convenient, known but secret, and dilapidated but still standing. If I was going to head up an organization like LRG, its where I would go. So, I quickly took the card.

“Okay… I’ll be there, Ronald.” I pocketed the card and could feel a relief wash over me as Ronald informed me of a few more pressing details. By the time he went over to speak to Fara, I felt that much closer to finding and helping Paul to end the start of this nightmare.

A few days later, I finished up my last call with one of my more nervous clients and I checked to ensure I had everything ready for the meeting tonight. I had my required IDs and fare for the subway out there, plus some extra money just in case I needed a cab instead. Taking a cab could be dangerous, but walking home alone at night was nearly always worse. After nearly getting taken one night coming home just getting some groceries, I didn’t want to even risk that possibility if the subway was having issues.

After checking my clothing to deem it appropriate and not mark me as a defiant or cutesy Little, I then passed my tongue over my back molar. It might sound odd, but as soon as the medication I was on the first day had worn off… before I had my timing down with it, my jaw ached long and hard. Confused, I thought it was just leftover feelings from how they changed my face. Reading my debriefing material though as I waited for my medication to kick in, I realized it was something else.

They had removed one of my teeth and put in a very special replacement. Undetectable to all but government scanners that needed even the right frequency to pick it up, it served two functions. The first was a tracker. It beeped passively to a specialized machine buried deep within LPS in case of an emergency or to see if they could find me if I didn’t perform a dead drop when I was supposed to. If I cracked it though, agents would be quickly alerted to my position, but cracking it also came with a massive caveat.

This caveat, the second function, was a laced chemical inside that could quickly grow me back to my normal size. It wouldn’t restore my facial features, eyesight, or any other ill effects I picked up since I was turned, but if needed, I could be restored back to being a Big just in case. It seemed like a no-brainer in a tight spot, but there was one massive problem. In order to grow at a rapid rate, my body would suck the nutrients from the rest of my body for what it deemed ‘unnecessary.’ Needless to say, it could get a little mixed up and I would become extremely sick afterward and could even die if I wasn’t rushed to the hospital within 30 minutes of the tooth cracking. So, in other words, it was for dire emergencies only. Still, my tongue feeling it still in place tonight, did give me a sense of ease going to this new location out in the near middle of nowhere.

One creepy subway ride later, where I was propositioned twice to go home with both a potential new daddy and mommy, I finally made it out. Another block to the south, and I found the address. It was a large series of warehouses that once housed one of Aprisium’s premier car manufacturers. After the Great War and then the introduction of renewable energy cars not long after that, the whole plant shut down. Creepy and nearly forgotten about, I hated walking in the darkened streets, but I also knew I was likely in the right place. After all, I doubted LRG would set up headquarters in a popular outlet mall.

Coming to the nearest doorway, I could see that everything was rusted over or encrusted with ivy and dying trees. Curiously though, as I got closer, I wondered if the building was really in such a bad state of disrepair as it appeared to be from a distance. While everything seemed to be falling apart still, I noticed a security camera poking out and even blinking above the doorway. Feeling better that I was in the right place, I gave a wave to the camera and then knocked three times on the heavy door.

A nearby hidden speaker crackled to life. “Who is it? This is private property! Who sent you?”

A little alarmed, it took me a second to respond, but I then cleared my throat. “It’s, uh, Susan. I met… Ronald in a support group the other night…”

I only heard the breeze rustling off the metal sheeting on the roofs nearby and the crunch of old and dead leaves on the cracked street outlining the middle of the open spaces behind me. “Password?”

I scratched my head. I was worried that I was going to forget it, but after saying it out loud and in my head a half dozen times or so by now, I didn’t. “Land of Oz.”

At first nothing happened. I silently feared that I had misremembered it, but I knew that couldn’t be the case. Ronald had even made the point to reference the movie and book it was from, which I had promptly researched when I got home that night. Still, I felt an instant rush of relief when the door hissed and clunked open. With a deep breath, I stepped inside.

Walking down a corridor and then down a few steps, I came to a large opening. Signs pointed all around and revealed that the building actually housed several underground levels, but on the surface, aside from a few office spaces, the rest of the floor in the warehouse was open and now filled with dozens of people. It looked very much abandoned, but the map to my right at the top of the stairs showed the rest of the building was anything but.

“Keep moving, newbie,” a nearby Little nearly grunted at me. I almost didn’t even have to look at him to spot the one thing I had been looking for this whole time. One his arm, wrapped around in its usual red and white color scheme, were the letters, ‘LRG.’

Moving down the stairs to not attract any undue suspicion, my heart still leapt for joy at the sight. I nearly wanted to race around, find Paul, haul him out of there, and end the mission. I almost even thought about far-flung locations we could flee to be together, but after a further second of thought, I knew it presented two huge problems at least.

First, there were still a lot of factors keeping us both here. Paul was still attached to LRG, and they would still be a problem for anyone left behind. If we were to flee, Paul also likely wouldn’t see his family again, which would likely be the case for me as well. Second though, as I walked around and tried to blend in, it was also painfully obvious that I was now the size of a Little. If we fled, that would still be the case, so, without a second option, I stayed.

“Hey, newbie!” I spun around and saw Ronald running over to me. “Glad you made it.”

I smiled and felt like I was already part of the team as he patted me on the shoulder. “Glad to be here.” I then looked around us. “So, when’s everything start?” I was eager, and I couldn’t hold back knowing that I had finally found LRG.

Ronald smirked. “That’s the type of attitude I love to see, but we just need to do a few things first, okay?” Still eager, I nodded without question. “Good. Now, follow me.”

Following Ronald, I noticed several Littles I had seen before at our meetings and elsewhere around the city… like some who had been going to Forrest Hill Daycare and had since ‘disappeared.’ I wondered how many of the weary faces I saw were escapees of their Bigs… just like Paul was.

Entering another doorway, this one led to a set of stairs. One floor down, I could already see that LPS had underestimated their group. Med bays, storage and conference rooms, and at least a dozen or so bunks all littered just that one floor we were on. “Started off as a bomb shelter. Impressive though now, huh?” Ronald asked, going through another corridor.

I felt I was being led into the very pits of the Earth, but I knew I had to say something else in order to remain on Ronald’s good side. “Very. I can’t believe all this is out here. Was it always this big?”

Ronald shook his head. “No. We got some equipment a while back and we all got to work on an expansion down here. Near solid rock, so everything is pretty sturdily built… plus, we have a few backers and insiders who got us some specialized materials to do all this properly.”

Instantly, I was intrigued, but Ronald finally stopped at one of the med bays where an older gentleman was sitting and waiting. “Alright. I’m going to leave you here. Answer all of Dr. Jackson’s questions, but if you don’t want to, just let him know. We’ll have to ask you leave at that point, so I hope we don’t get there, but just know… you aren’t trapped. We aren’t Bigs, right?”

I nodded and took a seat as he went off, but his comment hit me hard. I wondered how many countless Littles, even just the ones I had seen so far today, that had been trapped by a Big at some point. I couldn’t help but wonder, even if I knew by now that I was a good Big, did Paul feel he should be counted in that number?

“Alright then. It’s Susan, right?” Dr. Jackson questioned, holding a somewhat thick file in his hands.

“Uh… that’s right… but how did you know?” He only smiled back at me and held up the file he was going over.

“We have our ways.” He then flipped the page, and the brief time I saw the first page as it turned, I knew that LPS must have created a fake file for me in the official government system. “Now, just so you know… this is just a test to see a few things with you. So far, I think you’ll pass no problem, but let’s begin, shall we?”

The next thirty minutes were some of the most uncomfortable I had been in my entire life. After the first few, I knew he was trying to determine if I was regressed or not. So, while I could definitely pass the physical portion… the mental felt like another matter entirely, especially when I realized they were also checking to see if I was a spy and traitor to Littles as well.

“So, you’re from California, so… who’s the first president of the United States?” I bumbled along, but thanked my lucky stars that I had read up on several books about the United States and Earth in general before I went on this mission. Mr. Oliver, once again, was very helpful.

Still, there were a few I wasn’t sure about. “What’s your favorite ride at Disney World?”

The question completely caught me off guard, and while I had heard about it from Paul when he mentioned his sister’s joy when it re-opened a few years after we initially came through the portal, that was about the extent of my knowledge. So, thinking on the spot, I answered as best I could. “I’m not sure. My family didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up with all the problems we were facing, so I never went actually…” Dr. Jackson seemed a bit suspicious of my answer but wrote something down and just pressed on.

Finally, at the end, he smiled back at me. “Congratulations, I think you might have spent too much time over here by now… a few memory problems here and there, but I think you’ll do just fine.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I spun around toward the doorway and saw that Ronald had made his way back. “Always a huge shame when I have to turn someone away because they’ve been too regressed.”

“That happens a lot?” I didn’t even think a group for Little’s rights would do something like that, but Ronald nodded.

“Doesn’t happen all the time, sure, but it still does occasionally.” He then paused for a moment before turning back to me. “Please take a walk with me…” He gestured out the door, and after thanking Dr. Jackson, I followed Ronald. “We refer them to some good homes who sympathize with Littles, but as you might imagine, we don’t like turning our kind away in this kind of anti-Little environment.”

He then gestured to a different room, still comprised of riveted white walls like most of the other rooms I had seen, but this was decidedly meant for more regressed Littles. “If they get young enough, either on a mission, or otherwise, but still meet our limits, we’ll bring them here. There are some exceptions, but the last thing we want is a regressed Little who stubs their toe outside and alerts every Big within a mile with their crying.”

“Harsh, but I understand.” It was the truth, and I did understand, but only to a degree. Even in the few weeks I had been living as a Little, I couldn’t imagine coming here after being ravaged to one degree or another by a Big, only to be turned away and given to another set of Bigs. His reasoning made sense, but it was a hard concept to swallow that not all Littles would find refuge here.

Returning to the surface shortly after, I started to mingle with the rest of Littles around me. Curiously, I started to recognize a few of them. “Mindy?”

The black-haired and freckled face Little spun around and looked at me closely. “I’m sorry… do I know you?”

I then realized that we did know each other, but I couldn’t just tell her that we really knew each other from when I had advised LPS about her. She had been robbed of her credentials when she first came over from Earth and had resorted to a life of petty thefts in order to eat. Fleeing one LPS agent after another, she finally was caught after she had accidentally eaten spiked food and had passed out in wet pants as she was stealing from a clothing store. Hearing a slight rustle as she turned fully to face me, I knew she hadn’t quite recovered from all that yet.

“Sorry… I know you from…” I had to think quickly on my feet, but I remembered that she used to frequent a bakery downtown once a week from the money she made off her stealing. “McGinty’s Bakery. You always ordered the bear claw and a coffee every Sunday.”

“Oh, that explains it,” she said, looking a little relieved and yet also sad. Seeing she was here now instead of the home LPS had placed her in, I couldn’t imagine that path was easy. “Sorry… I try to block out all that from back then.”

Curious, for the mission and myself now, I wanted to know more. “So, what brings you here?”

“Oh.” She seemed surprised I would even ask that question. “You must be new here, huh?” I nodded and she smiled warmly at me. “Well, don’t worry. This place is the best for anyone wanting to make a difference out there. LPS stupidly placed me with a Big that just seemed to want to collect Littles. I was their third, so I ran away and came here. Been pretty much smooth sailing ever since as I wait to be accepted in here officially.”

“Wow. Sounds like the dream for you then.” I made sure to force a smile onto my face, but internally, I could only feel my own heart start to crack. I felt I had done her a kindness after I had done my job. Surely a Big home would be better than the streets… or at least that’s what I told myself.

As we continued to talk and I was introduced to more Littles throughout the night, I was starting to realize something terrible. I had always felt I had done a good job at LPS in my current role. I knew that there were flaws in the system, but one by one, I started to doubt the system in its entirety as I discovered four other Littles I had advised on.

All seemed helpless and innocent, but now, all but Mindy sported the red and white armband of LRG. All came from broken or even abusive homes, verbally or otherwise that LPS had placed them in. I had felt like a saint this whole time in my job, but now… it was hard to feel that way when your efforts end with a Little joining an organization now labeled as terrorists by the same ones who tried to help them.

I tried to shuffle the feeling off that night, but it persisted stubbornly each time I returned. Twice a week meet-and-greets soon turned into nearly every day. Names like Mindy, Carol, Sean, Xander, Ronald, and so many others became synonymous with my friends. Each had endured a hardship, and while I was still focused on my mission, I found myself falling deeper into LRG, especially after I had now been undercover for just over a month by now. I still wasn’t a full member yet, but one day as my new friend group began cracking jokes, all that changed.

“Recruits!” Ronald practically shouted, quickly getting each of our attentions. We snapped in front of him, each of us eager for our own reasons to start our work here. By now, I was finally realizing a truth about LRG that most other Bigs didn’t seem to understand. From what I saw, LRG didn’t want to harm anyone. LRG just wanted equality or at least to be able to walk down the street without the fear of getting tricked or taken by a Big. With my job and mission, it was a hard concept to reconcile with.

“Now, I’ve just talked with leadership…” I quickly saw the rest of the group beam with pride at the mention of leadership. I had only seen them once, and even that was at a distance. For now, they have remained a mystery and yet were idols to most of us. “They believe you all are ready. You have proven your commitment to the cause. Here…”

Immediately, my heart leapt with joy as we each received an LRG button. The armband came later, but for now, the button seemed glorious and like a long-awaited dream come true. Everyone, including me, pinned it to our clothing with pride.

“Excellent. We want to welcome you as the latest batch of inductees into LRG. Progress further, and you will receive your own armband.” Ronald then pointed to his own, a symbol I noticed he only wore in this building I saw after still attending the Little support meetings. “For now, tomorrow is a Saturday. Come early and we will give you your first assignment.”

My heart pumped blood, but I knew that it was a mixture of both excitement and nervousness. I knew that the mission would be something minor, but still, I felt I was part of the group now. It meant I was one step closer to finding Paul, which I found odd that I still hadn’t seen him here yet, but ultimately, ending this mission.

Still, my nerves were very much present. I would come, like everyone else would, seeing as most Littles rarely had weekend plans from fear of being caught or tricked then, but on the inside, I was still a Big. Sure, I wore training pants, had to stand on my tippy toes while getting groceries most weeks, was nearly taken every time I stepped outside of my house, and had now been accepted into LRG, but I was still a Big in my soul.

I held sympathy for Littles, but I felt there was a line between feeling sympathy for Littles and actually joining in their movement. Going outside and even sporting the LRG button was a clear step to show our allegiance to the group and the crossing of that line. Anyone seeing me with my button now could just assume I was the same as those bombers from the mall. Nothing bad had happened since, but it was still the gossip of the whole city. To most Bigs, LRG just equated to bad people. Being here for a bit, I just couldn’t accept that notion anymore.

Regardless, though, passing my fingers over the white and red button on my chest now, I couldn’t deny any longer that I was associated with LRG. Today, only my friends and I knew, but tomorrow, everyone seeing us would know as well. Regardless of my mission or intentions, I knew that for all this to work, I had to be a Little now. I had to be a member of LRG. If I ever wanted to see Paul again, I knew that despite my fear of whatever would happen tomorrow, I had to continue this dangerous path… no matter what.

[Baby Billy]

That was a great chapter, with a lot of information about where the story is heading.  You made one small error that you may want to edit though, when Ronald was inviting her to the meeting he called her Sophie instead of Susan.

[LostBBoyBear]

43 minutes ago, Baby Billy said:

That was a great chapter, with a lot of information about where the story is heading.  You made one small error that you may want to edit though, when Ronald was inviting her to the meeting he called her Sophie instead of Susan.

Thank you but major ugh. Thanks for catching her name mistake. I made the correction, but I just knew that was going to be a problem, however, I also knew there was no way she could keep her original name while undercover. 

[Guilend]

Fantastic chapter. I love that during their training they basically wore cotton training panties. I wonder how many in her class threw a tantrum over it and if any of them either had an accident in them or decided to give them a test run in private. I imagine there was some dares given during times they was relaxing and unwinding at night 😂 No different then I imagine Bigs in college would dare each other to wear a diaper or two go potty in their pants.

I have this feeling I can't shake, what if it was all a setup? Did LPS kidnap Paul in order to push Sophie to go undercover as a Little. Astrid would know her well enough to know kidnapping Paul would be the perfect motivator. We're aware that Astrid isn't exactly patient, her superiors probably aren't either and have been demanding results, especially after the bombing.

Though I have a feeling that Sophie will be completely on the LRG's side by the end. Once Big she might try to make changes, but once no longer undercover, LPS could use her time undercover as an excuse to have her admitted to a mental hospital or "retraining" stating that she was undercover too long and hasn't fully come back mentally. 

Also putting her undercover could be a way to finally get rid of her so she's no longer a thorn in the sides of the powers that he.

[Baby Billy]

59 minutes ago, LostBBoyBear said:

Thank you but major ugh. Thanks for catching her name mistake. I made the correction, but I just knew that was going to be a problem, however, I also knew there was no way she could keep her original name while undercover. 

No for as long as that chapter was it was just a blip, I bet most even read over it without thinking.  I used to be an editor so things like that are easy for me to catch.🙂

[LostBBoyBear]

5 minutes ago, Baby Billy said:

No for as long as that chapter was it was just a blip, I bet most even read over it without thinking.  I used to be an editor so things like that are easy for me to catch.🙂

Same here. Something tells me that I should stop editing these at 1 in the morning...

Still, thank you for the catch. Others might not have noticed, but I would have later and I would have felt very foolish.

[Kat5]

59 minutes ago, LostBBoyBear said:

should stop editing these at 1 in the morning...

Hey now...

Also, I frequently have way more than 1 goof. Your story is very compelling and involving and I am enjoying it quite a lot!

[LostBBoyBear]

5 hours ago, Kat5 said:

Hey now...

Also, I frequently have way more than 1 goof. Your story is very compelling and involving and I am enjoying it quite a lot!

Thank you! I really do try.

Keep a watch out. The next chapter just needs some editing and will pop out sometime in the next few hours. 

It isn't easy to be a Little in LRG...

[Guilend]

7 minutes ago, LostBBoyBear said:

Thank you! I really do try.

Keep a watch out. The next chapter just needs some editing and will pop out sometime in the next few hours. 

It isn't easy to be a Little in LRG...

Yay 

It's easier being a Little in the LRG then being a Little with Amazons

[SGTbaby]

I love that she is identifying with the group as she now understands. I do wonder if she feels the same after a mission or two but regardless it is great to see her mind turning! Love it!

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone! So, here’s another chapter coming fast to you. While I didn’t necessarily have to post another one today, I knew there probably just wasn’t any scenario where I was going to have time tomorrow, and I didn’t want you all waiting around until Sunday.

Looking ahead, though, I’m honestly not sure how much time I’ll have with the Fourth of July and all that next week. Plus, a lot of stuff coming up after that all the way through August and beyond, so more delays should be expected in this story or the next. That being said, I will write and edit when I can, but I will also try to post new chapters as often as I can.  

Also, as a reminder, the poll for my next story is still going on. As a reminder, as usual, I will post my decision of my next story during my final chapter of this story. Until then, feel free to comment here or personally message me what you want to read next. I like all the choices I am presenting, so choose what you want. For those not sure of the choices, just refer to the beginning of chapter 2.

Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 18: Protesting My Own People

My nerves were all jittery the whole way back to my apartment after I had been accepted into the LRG and been assigned a new mission for tomorrow morning. It didn’t help that I kept being stared at by an imposing Big, festooned with what I could best describe as ‘daddy energy,’ but ignoring him and sitting nearby a few other Littles for safety with the whole concept of ‘strength in numbers,’ I eventually made it home.

I prepared all I had learned and my current plan of action for my dead drop in the morning and then went to bed. I eventually had to take some meds to do it, but I soon closed my eyes. The next morning though, my nerves shot through the roof once more.

Rushing around, I dressed as neutrally as possible, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then ran out of the door with my package for the dead drop to Astrid and the LPS. Despite all the other ways I felt I might have been set up to fail on this mission, I was at least grateful that the dead drop was located nearby.

A single seemingly innocuous brick at the bottom of a building just around the corner stood out from the rest and seemed about six seconds from falling out of the building altogether. It was obvious, but the catch was that it was all designed to only look like that. Apparently, it would take about 50 Bigs pulling on it to even begin to pry it loose. In fact, the only true way to open it was a fingerprint.

Pressing my thumb against the upper right corner, I heard the click. It was still early enough, and the brick secluded in an alleyway far back enough that a quick glance around told me that no one was watching. Opening the brick, I placed my materials inside.

Astrid would likely get them within the hour, and this time, I wasn’t sure how she would take my news. On one hand, I was part of LRG now. I had infiltrated them in less than half the time listed to be ‘required’ in my initial paperwork. It was a success, but in that success, another factor remained.

On the other hand of this whole equation, in order to be accepted into LRG, I had to now participate within LRG. It was a known complication of any undercover operation, and Astrid and LPS knew what I would most likely have to do when faced with disloyalty or the success of my mission. Success always came first, but now, I wasn’t sure if they would agree that my success was worth the information they were getting. I knew LRG’s location after all, and LPS could assault the place tomorrow… but I didn’t tell them that, regardless of whether they could guess that or not.

I justified my lack of forthcoming to Astrid by noting that if LPS struck now, many in LRG would likely be able to flee and strike even harder in their rage. It was a bit of a mistruth, but I just hoped it would give me the time I needed to find Paul and convince him to help me dismantle LRG. I had no idea how to do that, but I hadn’t even seen him yet, so for now, it was a moot point.

“Ready for the big day?” Sean asked, slightly struggling with pinning his own button on his shirt. I had taken the subway back to the warehouse and arrived early. It was strange seeing the warehouse so empty on the top level, with most of the members not even living here full-time, but Sean was an exception, especially with the new inductees.

“Here,” I offered, “let me help you with that.” Sean presented himself to me, and I was able to just make out the sound of a crinkle from underneath his pants. Sean had been a part of the potential recruits for LRG for a while now and even lived within the warehouse, but his physical abilities had been regressed severely and had delayed his entry into LRG. Being seen as a liability, I could see that he felt like he had something to prove today.

“Thanks, Susan,” he said, smiling at me. “My fingers don’t always work as well in the mornings. Especially with the finer motor control bits.”

I smiled warmly back and patted his button flat against his shirt. “You’re welcome, but Sean…” I could see his wide eyes staring back at me. As Sophie the Big, I honestly just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, but as Susan the Little, I knew I needed to take a different approach. “Just don’t try and be a hero today, okay? We’ve got one job… and that isn’t to get caught or start a riot.”

Sean sighed. “I’m that transparent, huh?”

I shook my head. “No but remember who you’re talking to. I’m a Little’s counselor for a reason.” Since I had come to LRG, many Littles had been asking me for advice. Carol’s boastings of my abilities had spread like wildfire and considering that access to public health was limited to most of the group, my presence was quickly utilized with each nightly meeting I attended. LPS hadn’t done me many favors but considering how quickly I had been accepted into LRG as compared to someone like Sean, I felt they had at least chosen my job right.

“Hey ladies,” Xander joked to Sean and I as he then approached us with Carol and Mindy as well. Of the four of us new recruits, I think I liked him least. His tech savvy had already helped LRG, but I felt that his mouth or eagerness could be a liability in the field at some point.

“Hardy har, har, Xander,” Sean grumbled, still struggling to pick up a bag he had been toying with since I had first walked over.

“Here, let me help you with that,” I quickly offered. Sean smiled at me, but I could see that both Mindy and Xander both rolled their eyes. Sean was a liability, and if it was any other circumstance, I might have convinced him to stay behind today, but I also knew how much he wanted this… to prove his worth, so I said nothing.

“Thank you all for coming here this morning,” Carol began. “Today’s mission is simple. There is an election coming up soon and there is a large swing neighborhood in particular that could mean the difference between restrictions on all Little movements in the city after dark and portal Littles getting a half vote in future elections.”

“And why would the government ever allow that?” Xander asked with an attitude. I disliked him, but he wasn’t wrong in this case.

Carol sighed. “Not that it’s my point here, Xander, but the councilman up for reelection has noted that after six months of living here, Littles passing a test will be able to vote. It could be the push we are looking for to make some real changes here in a legitimate way. Satisfied?” Xander stepped back and nodded his head.

“Good. Now, follow Bill here. He’s our wheelman around here for… obvious reasons.” We all stared up at the figure before us, and she was right. Standing up, Bill was easily just a hair under 7 feet tall, which wasn’t much compared to a Big who measure up to 12 feet tall, but he could almost pass for a Middle. Much less common, but also much less harassed, especially in Aprisium. Could have been a problem in Flosus, but I doubted anyone would think twice of Bill driving us around the city today.

“Hey,” he said plainly, waving to us, his deep voice almost an anomaly around here.

“Hey…” we all said back in unison, clearly a smidge intimidated by this new figure before us. I was just shocked Bill was in LRG, but I knew for the others, Middles often sided with Bigs. Their intimidation was likely a mask for their slight mistrust. It didn’t seem to bother Carol though.

“Right then!” Carol exclaimed, smacking her hands once together. “Off you all go. Just use your heads, stay calm, and get back here. We can talk more about next steps once you’ve returned.” Nodding, we all scampered off and loaded into the backseat of Bill’s van.

Driving through the city, I couldn’t help but see some of the old places I used to know so well in a different light. My old neighborhood now represented a trap for any wandering Little from the Bigs that lived there. The LPS headquarters was now the face of the people trying to arrest the group I was now actively involved in. And then I saw the multi-purpose stadium where I had taken Paul to watch a baseball game with… before everything went wrong. I longed to go back, but as the car stopped and we all got out, I knew there was no going back.

“Okay… one of you take this,” Bill instructed as he shoved a walkie talkie out of his window. No one else stepped up, so I did.

“I can take that.” Mindy, Xander, and Sean didn’t seem to mind one bit.

“Okay. It’s already set to channel five. That’s LRG’s channel today, but don’t rely on that forever. We change it every day.” Things were starting to fall into place of why LPS had never caught them fully. “If you run into any problems, radio in and either me or someone else with the LRG armband will pick you up. Be sure to say, ‘West Witch,’ when you meet them though. Otherwise, they’ll think it’s a trap and drive off.”

Nodding back in acknowledgment to him, Bill then waved goodbye. Xander and Mindy both carried bags full of the signs we had to put up, but now, we were all alone. “I guess we get to it then…” The rest of the group shirked their shoulders but continued on.

A few blocks later, we were all joking but I could see the physical toll it was already starting to have on Sean. “Let’s stop for a quick sip of water,” I suggested.

Xander rolled his eyes, but Mindy seemed appreciative. “Ah!” She smacked her lips as she downed the first gulp of refreshing water. “Definitely hits the spot. Thanks for recommending this, Susan.”

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Getting into the hotter days around here now. Could be a scorcher today. Going hiking, lack of water was never a fun thing.”

“You hike?” Sean asked, seemingly skeptically.

Not thinking too much of it, I just brought up one of my past experiences. “All the time when I was in college.” I then saw everyone’s looks and I realized that I was solely referring to the mountains around Aprisium… not the ones back on Earth. “Coming here though… I only hiked a few times.”

“And you did that on your own?” Xander asked, definitely now skeptical.

At that point, I had to quickly think of my answer. Acknowledgement of going myself meant that I would have driven myself. It was nearly impossible for a Little to get a drivers license instead of just an ID card, so it would have likely raised a red flag for the group. Going with another Big though presented the challenge of me being too sympathetic with them.

Quickly deciding, I shook my head. “No. When I first got here, I met a Big. All sweet and normal. She took me up.”

“A Big? You some kind of friend with them?” Mindy butted in quickly before I could explain further.

Again, I shook my head. “Not anymore. I think I’ve met a few good Bigs, but this one…” I made sure to widen my eyes and grimace in pain for a moment. I had to sell this with my fellow inductees now or risk alienating myself before I even learned who the leaders were.  

“We got to talking at a coffee shop and realized we both liked hiking,” I lied. “It was great at first, but I started to notice her handling more things for me. Going up a mountain on these legs around here isn’t easy.” Every nodded their head and smirked. I knew I was worming my way into their good graces with my story. “But I think it was after the fourth or fifth time, she started preparing our food and water herself.”

“Yikes,” Sean noted, clearly in pain and remembering an event from his own life. “Big rookie mistake right there.”

“Definitely. Nearly wet myself on the trail coming down.” Everyone shuddered in pain and likely shared experiences themselves. Some could see that as a humiliating story and would never share it in a million years, but I had started to realize that despite Littles possibly being separated by countries, religions, ethnicities, or most other distinguishing factors, they shared the bond of humiliation and the prevention of it happening again. “Yeah… needless to say, never saw her again.”

“Never can trust a Big, can you?” Mindy shook her head in disgust and then handed me a sip of her own water. “Only Littles, right?”

It was a hard statement to agree with, but I knew this was my bonding time with the group. Seeing that, I nodded and took her offered water. “Right.”

We joked around for a few more minutes after that and I could feel the further bond our group was making with each other. Still the day getting later, Sean didn’t seem ready, but Xander seemed itching to leave. Not wanting to upset Xander or Mindy and trying to let Sean keep his pride and prove himself today, I went along with the group.

“Now what?” Xander asked annoyedly as we hit a ‘Y’ intersection.

“Hmmm… maybe split up?” Mindy suggested.

“What?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Littles splitting up was the worst thing we could have done right then. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Look… we either all go as one and then have to redo our steps back down the other way, or we split up and just meet at the next intersection.” Her finger pointed down the road, and while I could see where the two streets likely met up down there, it was still several blocks away. “All not in favor?”

I raised my hand, but a quick look around told me I was completely alone. Grinning, Mindy asked again. “All those in favor?” This time, Mindy, Xander, and Sean raised their hands. Outvoted, I flicked my hand away in defeat.

“Fine. We’ll do it your way.” Fortunately, we were split up numbers wise evenly already. “So, how do we split…?”

“Boys versus girls,” Xander loudly interrupted. “Make it a competition.”

My inner competitive spirit hadn’t been knocked down, but I was still nervous about splitting up. Plus, I wasn’t a big fan of leaving the bold and full of energy Xander with the already exhausted Sean.

Just as I was about to object though, Mindy furiously nodded her head. “Oh yeah! Definitely!” She then extended her hand. “Game on, huh?”

Xander smirked and shook her hand. “Game on.”

I loved Littles dearly, but sometimes, their immaturity stood out in stark contrast to the goal they needed to accomplish or pushed further than they needed or should. We were already ahead of schedule and only had this one stretch and one more block at the end to cover. We didn’t need to rush, but I saw that Xander and Mindy were already sprinting away.

“Come on Susan! Don’t slow me down!” Mindy cried back. Sighing, I dashed off to catch up with her. To my left, I saw Sean desperately dragging behind Xander.

As we raced toward the end of the block after mounting our signs, however, I started to notice that several of the residents in the neighborhood began popping their heads out their doors and windows. I didn’t think anything of it at first, having started a while ago, but instead of confusion as before, these faces just seemed angry.

I then realized what I was seeing. This neighborhood was a swing section of the city. It meant that likely, half were pro-Little, but the others… were likely pro-Big. Something told me that we were now in the more pro-Big section of the neighborhood. I was glad that we were rushing now, but just as we got to the next intersection, sweating and a little out of breath, I could hear the distant rumble of something coming closer to us.

Worried, but more focused on Sean and Xander catching up, Sean seeming ready to collapse, I didn’t notice the streets to our south where we had just come from. It was only when I head the loud roar of several engines, did I look back from my friends and see a whole slew of Bigs in front of us.

“Shit… guys?” I tapped my friends’ shoulders and we all turned around. I could only see as they froze as soon as they saw the Bigs, but I knew my own heart… I was terrified.

“Well… look at who we have here,” the lead Big taunted on his motorcycle. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves some unwelcome Littles, huh fellas?” A number of Bigs roared their own vehicles and laughed sinisterly.

I tried searching for any way out of this, but I could only see a clump of trees in the woods far to our rear.  

“Please…” I begged. “We’re just doing our civic duty with these signs. We don’t want any trouble.” I could already hear Sean whimper instantly as the lead biker unclenched his breaks and edged a little closer to us.

“Trouble, huh?” His eyes darted to my chest, right to the area where I had clearly pinned the LRG button to. “Seems like you all brought some yourself.” He then turned to the rest of the Bigs behind him. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves some rebels here! Some LRG Littles! How’s everyone feel about that?”

The only response he got was the roar of engines and the growls and groans from nearly everyone we could see. We seemed to be outnumbered nearly five to one and looking at Sean, I wasn’t sure about our chances if we ran away.

The leader turned back. I could see a desire in his eyes that quickly made me uncomfortable. It wasn’t of lust, but of revenge. Local news outlet had been painting LRG as a terrorist organization for weeks and called for all citizens of Aprisium to ensure that LRG ‘got the message’ that we weren’t welcome. It was clear to me that these Bigs intended to send their own message.

Feeling my breath catch, I knew we only had one way out of here. “When I say so, drop the bags,” I whispered Xander, Sean, and Mindy. “Just drop the bags and run.”

“What?” Xander asked in near disbelief and disgust over such a suggestion. “Just run away like a bunch of scurrying rats? We should stay and fight these clowns.”

“No!” I briefly worried that the Bigs might have heard me, but each seemed to now be talking eagerly amongst themselves. I didn’t want to think of what, but I knew we had to do this together if we wanted to get out of this in one piece. “We have one chance at this. They’re coming for us, and I don’t think they’re offering free hugs today.”

“She’s right, Xander,” Mindy agreed. “We have one shot at this to get away.”

“But what about me?” Sean asked in fear.

I clasped his hand firmly while still keeping eye contact with the Bigs. “You stick with me. There isn’t another option. We run as fast as we can to the woods behind us. I’ll give the signal…” Xander groaned but didn’t object. Now, I just needed to find my moment.

The Bigs then turned back to us. “Looks like its unanimous. We’re going to have ourselves a bit of a Little hunt today!” He howled and everyone else revved their engines. “We say go, and you all run. Better watch out little babies…” He sneered at me, and I could feel my skin crawl.

His hand then reached out to his clutch again. Our eyes locked for a moment. I knew the moment I had been waiting for had come. I braced for what we had to do. Mindy was right as well. We had one shot, and this was it.

His eyes scowled. “And…”

I knew the moment was here. Before he could say another word, I shouted, “Go!”

Not needing another trigger, the four of us dropped our bags and ran for the woods as I grabbed Sean’s hand. I was determined we were all going to make it out of this.

“Uh, ah! Damn it!” the leader yelled back, first in confusion and then in anger. “Come on! They’re getting away! Go, go, go!”

I didn’t even want to turn around, but I could hear their engines growing louder. They had their muscle and speed, but we had size and durability on our side. “Make a left! They can’t cut through the yard!”

Without turning around, everyone nodded. With my help, Sean and I made it through right after Xander and just before Mindy. Her hair got caught in a bush, but her panic delayed her longer than normal. Still, we all made it as I could hear the screams and curses being shouted behind us. “Go around you idiots! Go around! Now!”

The woods were just ahead. I could see through their thinner foliage, but seeing the several hills and slopes, I knew we could find a place to hide out from the Bigs… or at least evade them enough to be picked up. It felt like a moment of triumph, but it didn’t last.

Just as we cleared the curb, Sean and I were neck in neck with Mindy, so we saw as she then tripped over and fell to the pavement. “Ah!” she screamed.

Wanting to get everyone out of here, I stopped and looked back. As she rolled over, I could see she had severely cut herself on her legs and one hand. Blood began to trickle down and was mingled amongst the dirt and tiny rocks from the street. I had been injured like that before, and while I could still walk, I was much slower afterward. Right then, just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, I saw the trucks and motorcycles round the corners on either side of us.

“Go… go get her, Susan,” Sean then shockingly encouraged me. “Help her!”

“But… the woods… we…” I tried to stammer out to argue with him. The stress and tension of it all was getting to my head by now. I couldn’t think clearly.

“No… you go. It’s just a block away…” he panted. “I think I’ve got this… Just go!”

Reluctant, but nodding, I ran back over to Mindy and then turned around. “Xander… you get…” But he was already gone. Groaning and I leaned down to Mindy. “Come on. Take my hand. I’ll get you out of this!”

Swallowing her pride, Mindy took my hand, and I wrapped it around my shoulders as I helped her up. It was times like these that I really missed being a Big. Still, we managed to get back to our feet. The strain was enormous, and I could feel my heart thudding in my chest.

I didn’t have time to feel that pain, exhaustion, or even celebrate though. The Bigs were right behind us, and despite limping, Mindy and I raced to the woods. I was so focused on getting there and avoiding the Bigs, that everything else blurred around us.

A little way in, I found Xander hunched over in an oversized spillway that led to a creek. “Down here! Come on!”

Nodding, I rushed down the hill. I could hear the distant screams and hollers of the Bigs, but I felt we were safe. Taking a breath as I wiped off Mindy’s deep cuts, I looked around, but then noticed one massive issue. My pounding heart nearly stopped cold. “Where’s Sean?”

Mindy, leaning up against the concrete wall, and Xander both searched frantically around them, but none of us could find him. Hearing the roar of the Bigs nearby though, I realized what had happened. He was already exhausted, and without my help… the Bigs had him now. “Come on! We’ve got to go get him!”

“Stop,” Xander said, shoving me back into the spillway a bit. “He’s gone.”

“Gone? Gone? What the hell do you mean, gone?” I tried looking for an answer in both Xander and Mindy, but their faces already made it look like he was dead.

“They have him…” Mindy said with a sadness and tone of disgust in her voice. “He’s gone. We can’t help him now.”

“What? That’s crazy!” My mind refused to believe that a Little I had just helped get so far, was now simply ‘gone.’ As an LPS agent, we never left someone behind in the field. This was no different. He was our friend. That just couldn’t be the end of it so simply. I shook my head defiantly. “No… I refuse to believe that. I’m…”

I tried to leave again, but also once again, Xander stopped me. “Susan… I know what you’re feeling. It sucks more than anyone could ever know who’s never experienced this before, but we’re Littles. Sometimes… we just go away.” For once, I could see something more to Xander than just a loudmouth tech nerd.

“We go back… we’re just as gone as he is now,” Mindy noted as well. “It’s just the facts…”

But my head still was screaming at me ‘no.’ I had come here to help Paul and dismantle LRG, but Sean wasn’t LRG… not the terrorist kind at least. He was innocent. A weak Little that had been through too much. He didn’t deserve this, and my years of instincts just didn’t want to drop this. I tried running again. Xander caught me immediately.

“No! No!” I screamed, trying to wiggle out and run back to save Sean, but Xander had caught me fully this time and held me firm. “I have to go get him! We can’t just leave him behind! I won’t do tha…!”

Mindy walked up to me and firmly slapped me across the face.

Xander immediately slackened his grip over me, clearly in shock himself, but I was definitely too stunned myself to do anything about it. Mindy on the other hand, despite her injuries, was panting and nearly seething in anger in my direction. In seconds though, she hobbled over and gripped my shoulders and began shaking me.

“Wake up, Susan! He’s gone!” I could see the tears forming in her eyes already as she shook my shoulders. “I‘m sorry to do that, but he’s gone and he’s never coming back! Wake up! We go after him and we’re just as gone! I’m not going back into the system!” She gave me one final shake and stormed away, stomping into the ground with her boots. Horrified at her words, I remained motionless and silent.

“Gosh! It’s like… like… you just got off the damn portal! How could you not know something as simple as that? I just…” I worried that my cover was about to be blown as she stormed off in frustration, but I saw that through her ignorance or my adaptation into Little life, I soon realized she thought I was just another clueless Little.

“But… I…” I wanted to defend myself, but already, the roars of the engines were fading. Our opportunity had presented itself and was now gone… forever.

Xander got closer and sighed. “This is LRG, Susan. This is why people like Mindy and I joined…” Mindy looked away and thudded down on the concrete floor, clearly saddened and in pain. Her outer shell was tough, but I knew she took the loss of Sean just as hard as I did. “You’re a counselor and you help Littles. That’s great and LRG needs you, but it also needs people like us. People to make those tough calls sometimes… Sean’s loss stings, but we have to think of the larger picture.”

I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to admit it. So, once the last roaring engine had faded, I picked up my walkie and clicked the button to talk. “Anyone? Anyone? This is LRG waiting to be extracted. Three to pick up. Over…”

There was just static for a moment, but a familiar voice soon popped on. “This is Bill. Focusing in on your walkie’s tracker… but did you say three to pick up?”

Blinking a tear back and seeing both Mindy and Xander begin to grieve in their own ways, I clicked the button again. “That’s right… just three now…”

Getting back to the warehouse, Carol immediately comforted us after Bill had reported our situation as he drove us back to the warehouse. It was little solace in the wake of losing one of our own, but before we had a second longer to grieve, we were pulled into a council meeting. There, Carol, Ronald, and two other members I didn’t recognize stood in council and judgement of us.

Fortunately, after us remaining Littles explained the situation, the council agreed unanimously that we were not in the wrong. I wasn’t told what would have happened otherwise, but suffice to say, everyone seemed relieved… except me.

After, the rumors began to swirl around our group and the bravery I had shown in mustering everyone… almost everyone back to safety. I was credited with saving lives, but I felt little solace in their praise or comforts. So, when I finally broke free of the forming crowd, despite my mission from LPS, this one time I didn’t embrace the group.

Finding a newly lit fire that no one surrounded, I plopped down and looked into the glowing embers to clear my mind. The rumor had it that the fires were set up in case of a raid. They could potentially confuse any agents or officers into thinking we were just homeless Littles, which could potentially give those on the lower levels the time to escape. Regardless, even with their perceived notion of our group being adrift or homeless, I latched on to the inner peace they gave me.

Right then, all I wanted was to spit, curse, and cry all at the same time. Sean wasn’t my responsibility, but I still felt guilty over losing him. Xander and Mindy were right that he was probably already too far gone by then and we were heavily outnumbered, but the guilt in my mind still lingered.

Despite nearly all evidence to the contrary, I still felt like a Big. In a sense, I almost felt like my old self just piloting this new shortened body of mine. So, my sense of protection over other Littles had not vanished. While it formed a plan and then directed Xander and Mindy to safety, it was now haunting me that I couldn’t save Sean. I felt helpless, weak, defenseless…

I felt like a Little.

Having nothing to go off, it was what I expected every Little to feel like, but if nothing else, that powerlessness was still there. I tried to self soothe myself and wrap my arms around my shoulders, but it wasn’t working.

Sean was just another Little. From what I saw, he never wanted to hurt anyone. He never wanted to go up against the Bigs in any destructive way. Today, he just wanted to prove himself to LRG that he was a valuable member. He wanted to sway an election for the joke of equality that one candidate represented over another. There was no sinister plot in his eyes, but to those Bigs today, it didn’t matter. He was LRG, and right now, I knew he was likely being tortured for information or had now been regressed forever.

I then started to realize one simple truth; I was starting to hate my own kind.

There had always been a theory amongst the first pro-Big members that their hate of non-regressed Littles stemmed from the notion that Earth was slowly invading our country. Most derived it as pure conjecture or hot-headed thinking, but the notion remained for years. It could explain the hate between Bigs and Littles, but again, despite my current size, I was a Big. So, I could safely say that it wasn’t just Bigs and Littles hating each other. Further, I knew that it wasn’t hard to see the logic in my growing hate of them.

Today, I saw my kind as the monsters that Littles had seen of them for years. I had been brought up to think they we were an advanced people, and we were only saving the Littles. By the time I left LPS as an agent, I knew that wasn’t true anymore, but today nearly shut down that theory completely just on its own. I knew without hesitation that Sean had not been saved today.

Hearing rocks crunch from behind me, I spun around in anger and ready to fight. “Easy! Easy there…” Carol said, her hands raised in surrender and openness. “I just thought you could use some space before, and maybe now… you might want to talk. Was I wrong?”

She wasn’t, so I shook my head and gestured to an open patch of ground next to me. “Tough loss today.” She sighed and stretched her hands near the fire. “Sean was a good Little. I’m really sorry, Susan, but I’m glad that at least you all made it back.”

“Yeah,” I quickly scoffed. “Maybe it was quick, but maybe all those rumors are true. Maybe he’s getting tortured for information right now…”

Carol quickly shook her head. “You can’t think like that, Susan. It’s out of our hands. We’re Littles. There’s only so much we can control in this world. You’ll drive yourself mad if you take every loss this hard.”

“But shouldn’t I?” I knew that most people around here had numbed themselves to the loss of a member, but to me, it felt that every lost member should be counted.

“I don’t know anymore, Susan.” She sighed. “Honestly… if this was any other situation, I think I would be asking you about this in our next session.” She smirked. “A bit of role reversal, huh?”

“Yeah…” I turned back to the fire, not in the mood for any jokes tonight. To be blunt, I wished more than anything right then that I could just have a shot of something… anything. It wasn’t healthy, but it did the job. I could have pushed on, but maybe authentically like a Little, I had to absorb all this pain and loss myself.

Carol and I sat in silence for a moment. “You know,” she finally piped back up, “I heard more of what you did today with your group. Showed real initiative.”

“I just did what needed to be done…” I had heard her tone before. She thought I had done something heroic for the group. Losing Sean today… I felt anything but heroic.

“No… you were brave,” she said, clearly not caring what I thought of myself. “You did something that most Littles can’t. You stood up to a group of Bigs, and that’s impressive…”

She leaned over closer to me and gripped my arm to emphasize her point. “But when you saw the situation was too much for you all to handle, instead of fighting, you all ran… and when you did that, you tried everything you could to get your group to safety.”

She wasn’t listening. I wanted her to understand. “Again… I just…”

“No, Susan. Don’t say that it’s just what everyone would have done.” She looked into the fire with long and sad eyes. “It’s happened before. Others… those groups weren’t so lucky to have someone like you on their team.”

I hadn’t expected to hear that from her. Even as we talked in our counseling sessions before all this, we always talked about the present… never the past. So, even with my grief, my curiosity got the better of me. “What happened to them?”

“We don’t know…” she trailed off for a moment but then looked directly back at me with a fierceness in her eyes. “But I know this… we need more like you.”

“And you’re exactly right about that,” a voice belted from the darkness. I couldn’t see anything as Carol and I bolted up in surprise at the figure approaching behind us, but I knew that voice. I had heard it in my dreams… my nightmares too. It was the song of my longing and my reason for being lately. I would do anything for that voice. So, even as the darkened figure walked into the firelight, I already knew who he was.

“Sorry about startling you all, but Carol here is right,” he said, patting her warmly on the shoulder like they had been friends for years.

“Thank you…” Carol nearly blushed. “I’ve been trying to convince her about today… maybe you could have more luck though.” The Little smiled and seemed open to the idea, while Carol looked back at me with an even wider smile. “Susan… this is one of the leaders of LRG.”

The Little then walked closer over to me, and despite looking different, I could see his face even clearer now. “Hello, Susan. I’ve only heard good things about you. Tough loss today, but I figured it was about time I meet you in person.” He then reached out his hand to shake my mine. “I’m Paul.”

Even seeing his face and hearing his voice before, to hear him say his own name out loud was something else entirely. I had faced tremendous change, adversity, and danger just to meet this one Little again. I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t recognize me, and it nearly killed me, but also, I definitely recognized him. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, but in one night, I had accomplished one of my original goals.

So, with trembling fingers and eagerness and hope in my heart, I reached out and shook his hand back. “Good to meet you, Paul…”

[Guilend]

Okay, I did not see that coming. I figured they'd meet when during a mission gone wrong and needed to hide someplace till the heat died down. But I, in a million years didn't see him being a leader in the group. Though the signs was there, thinking back 

[babykamper]

@Guilend I thought that the moment we first was introduced to Paul 

[Operational Systems]

Stop going native Sophie.  Think of all the poor babies in need of hugs.

[Kat5]

Okay. I know that I have said dozens of times "The Diaper Dimension looks like a fantastic flight of fancy... until you look under the table cloth and see what's holding it up."

And here you have absolutely and wonderfully expressed that exact feeling.

Very well done.

[babykamper]

@Kat5 I agree. I hate it, but not much worse than how we are in real life. Just some of us are so privileged (especially in most of the US) to not see it. I work in security so I'm aware of the underbelly of our world but have been privileged not see see it. 

That being said, I think it's great when a little and an Amazon come together for mutual benefit, and as long as the Amazon respects the little and they have an understanding. Even if the Little doesn't like it they understand that sometimes they have to accept it as being a little. Like if I were a little and I broke an understood rule, that I'm sure I hate it as a rule but I understand that some rules are they're whether I like it or not and when I broke one then I understand there has to be consequences. So I understand and if I were a little I'd hope I'd accept the spanking I'd have coming. And understanding that in that society it would hurt my CG Amazon if they didn't spank me. 

[SGTbaby]

I didn’t see Paul as a leader in the organization but good twist! 

[Guilend]

On 6/29/2024 at 8:14 AM, babykamper said:

@Guilend I thought that the moment we first was introduced to Paul 

I didn't think of that. The first time I think I should have seen it was when Paul was talking to his family. LostBBoyBear did a great job of describing the body language and unspoken gestures during that scene and I should have been able to realize that Paul was one of the leaders during that scene. I knew there was something, even Sophie knew it, but I assumed the same thing as Sophie did, that it was simply that it was because he was a part of that organization. Turns out it was way more then that. 

I don't know if anyone realizes what him being a leader of this group truly means. He's a portal Little that's a leader of an organization in another dimension. They wouldn't put a portal Little in a leadership position, especially that high up, without there being more to the organization.

I imagine that this organization is much bigger then anyone has realized. It's not just about freeing Littles from Amazon. It's about severing the link binding the two dimensions. While "our side" is better overall because of the Amazons, the price we pay is probably too much and many Littles are realizing this. 

So the "diaper dimension" side the organization is about freeing Littles and fighting back against the Amazons, the earth side or our side, the same organization is fighting their own government to try and stop the Amazon influence so we don't lose any more people to the Amazons.

That's the only way I see them putting Paul into that high up of a leadership position. The only other reason, which I don't see as likely, is he did something to become like a hero to the Littles. If that was the case, it would have been something big enough that the Amazons would talk and gossip about even if they didn't know the Littles name or if it was a Little or not. But as far as I can remember nothing like that has been mentioned.

[LostBBoyBear]

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay. A family event yesterday ran a lot longer than I was anticipating, so when I got back after, I still had two pages of this chapter to write. Then, on top of that, I realized when I was editing all this that I wanted to change the sentiment of a particular section. It felt a bit weak personally and I knew it was important going forward, so I changed it.

Next, looking ahead, I should be able to post another chapter tomorrow, but after, there will likely be a delay until Friday at the earliest. Unfortunately, if a chapter doesn’t go up Friday at this point, it might not go up until next Monday. I’m really trying to avoid that and write like crazy before then, but the Fourth of July here in the states can be a bit busy, so no promises.

Also, as a reminder, the poll for my next story is still going on. As a reminder, as usual, I will post my decision of my next story during my final chapter of this story. Until then, feel free to comment here or personally message me what you want to read next. I like all the choices I am presenting, so choose what you want. For those not sure of the choices, just refer to the beginning of chapter 2.

Lastly, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter!

Chapter 19: A Step Back and Up

I felt dizzy and numb, but warm and satisfied at the same time. That tiny glow in my heart reserved solely for Paul began to glow again. I had finally met my Little in LRG. Here he was… standing right before me, proud and as happy as I had ever seen him. But like all things, my mind snapped to one massive problem I had just heard; he was a leader in LRG.

Astrid was insistent on bringing down LRG. My reports to her were just about some basic facts about the organization, but when I found a note the other day in the brick for the dead drop pressing me for more information on leadership, I knew it had to be my top priority to end all this. Now, while I wasn’t sure if Paul was the leader per say, him being anywhere near leadership was a massive problem. Removing my emotional stake in everything, if I was viewing this as an outsider LPS agent, Paul would be shipped off to Dark Cliff Prison after a five-minute trial… even a fair one.

“You know…” Paul mused after a moment of introductions and pleasantries, stroking his light stubble that had grown back after he had clearly stopped using the shampoo I used on him that was designed specifically to only keep a Little’s topmost hair growing. “You seem familiar…”

“I do?” I could feel my pulse quicken. The average Little I had met around here, even if I knew them before, I had only seen for maybe three weeks at the most. For Paul though… he had lived with me for over two months. I had fed him, bathed him… even changed his diapers by the end. For someone like that, I wasn’t sure how well my changed looks were going to hold up.

“Maybe you met her before you were with that other woman? Or maybe one of her friends recently?” Carol suggested. My mind picked up on the fact that she was likely referring to the real me… the Big version.

Paul shook his head. “I don’t think so. She…” Paul’s previously confident and mature demeanor switched back to what I had seen when he was around me. I wasn’t sure exactly how to describe it… shy maybe, but I could see through even his personality at LRG, my Little was still in there.

“Well, she really didn’t keep much company with unregressed Littles.” He turned to me, his eyes clearly still trying to discover why I was so familiar to him. “You didn’t happen to go to a daycare… Forrest Hills, did you?”

I shook my head, still remembering the profile LPS had set up for me. Undercover work could be about improvisation, but it also had to be consistent. Especially with Carol here, even if I could form a new bond and better bond with him better as ‘Susan,’ she knew that I had never been regressed or owned by a Big. So, meeting him at a daycare was definitely out as an option. “No… I think I just have one of those faces that are familiar to everyone. I was always getting compared to someone else back home. Some singer or TV star usually with glasses…”

I wasn’t sure how convinced Paul was about my line, but he smiled and nodded. “Hmmm… I guess that must be it.” He took a breath, and then patted me on the shoulder, a curious crinkle coming from him as he shifted toward me. “Regardless… welcome to LRG officially, Susan.”

“Thanks. It’s good to be here…” I made sure to smile for Paul. It was becoming my mask against what I was truly feeling lately. Openness could serve me well, but all I wanted to do right then was hug Paul again. I wondered if it would feel the same in my new Little form, but I quickly decided against it. For now, no matter how much I wanted more than just a simple pat on the should from my Little, now one of the leaders of LRG, I knew I couldn’t have it.

After that day, my reputation in LRG began to spread. My leadership and quick thinking of hiding in the woods to evade a known problematic pro-Big group of Bigs in the area, made me a valuable asset. Carol had been right when she had said that several groups in similar situations never even made it back. A few had one or two people, but sadly, a 75% return rate was considered almost abnormally successful. Still mourning Sean though, I clung onto that other 25% and tried whatever I could to make it so that never happened to another Little around me again.

Seeing me as a likely rising star in LRG, I began to see Paul more often. Going on more day missions afterward, I started to visit the warehouse more often. Now, I was able to confirm that Paul lived underneath the warehouse with the other leaders and full-time LRG members. Unlike the other leaders though, Paul seemed to take more of an active role with new recruits and the overall morale and well-being of all LRG members.

I had always seen his kindness and leadership when it came down to it, always leading Alice or even Roger during some of their ‘playtimes’ together, but I also began to see a new side of Paul as well. His scruff and close-cropped hair now continually threw my mind for a loop, but to my relief, I felt I could still be proud to call him my Little. Possessive of me, perhaps, but the notion of us leaving here together to live in peace had been my driving hope and was one of the few things keeping me sane around here.

As I began to go on more missions with Xander, Mindy, and an occasional other new recruit leftover from one of their decimated parties, I also began to see LRG in a new way. It was a tough life, and I could see how much it was already affecting those around me.

Before, LRG was a group bent on destruction of Big society. It was still in all the papers, but now, I saw the Littles come back from the more extreme missions of protests and equipment sabotages of pro-Big groups. Bloody wounds, dull eyes after being dosed with some chemical, and tears for yet another fallen Little. While I still remembered Sean, for most others, he just became another number. For my own mind’s sanity and clinging onto that fleeting feeling of humanity… if that was even the right word to use in my case, I began to keep a log of those we had lost: Sean, Rebecca, Jackson, Tula, Burt, Lamar.

Each loss weighed on everyone, but as the days passed, I saw that LRG couldn’t mourn properly or hold themselves back if they otherwise normally would have. If they did, it could be a liability. They could be too distracted or in grief and then fall behind on a mission. If they did, they would probably just become another name in my book. So, the Littles around me walled themselves off or, gratefully in some cases, came to me.

Then, one night, I was gathered around the fire once more with my friends and a few other fresh faces. “I can’t believe they just came at us like that,” Fritz noted, holding an icebag to his head where a darkened lump was already forming.  

“We were just going door to door… we weren’t hurting anyone…” Carmen said, her voicing quaking as she tried to rub the tears away from her eyes, a stain of blood on her shirt from one of her former companions today.

“Bastards…” Mindy nearly hissed. “That’s why we’re doing this… to prevent all that. But also, don’t you forget that’s just what all Bigs are.” Since Sean’s capture and her recovery from her fall that day, Mindy was growing colder. She was a far cry from the Little that couldn’t stop playing with her hair as a shield from her previous problems when I had first met her at LPS. I had even considered giving her a doll to hold that day to better open up to me. Now, it seemed only her curly hair remained of the Little she was back then.

“Don’t listen to her,” Xander said with a sigh. He still had a mouth on him that could piss off the dead, but unlike Mindy, since Sean’s disappearance, he had actually come to me a few times to talk and was better a processing his grief. “Bigs are… well, Bigs are complicated. If we start labeling all of them as ‘evil,’ we might as well just try to leave here and focus on something else other than a lost cause.”

“And go where?” Fritz asked, wincing a bit as he shifted his ice pack around. “Most of us are stuck here still from the block they have over us from how long we’ve been here.”

“True,” Xander admitted. “Maybe an island somewhere in that scenario, but that’s not what I’m saying.” Everyone looked at him in curiosity, including me. “LRG is about something more.”

“More?” Carmen questioned. I could see the doubt in her eyes, and I could see that Xander was trying, and no offense to him, but likely going to fail in his explanation. It just wasn’t his strength.

“I think I get it,” I quickly noted. “LRG is about changing minds. Bigs aren’t great…” I was starting to freely admit that more to myself and out loud as my time progressed here. “But we want them on our side. LRG isn’t about killing or forcing every Big to their knees in submission. That’s just revenge. That’s not us… or that’s not why I joined at least.”

“And then how do you explain them rounding us up?” Mindy spat back. “Or how about lobotomizing us? Or forcing us to mess our pants? Or surgeries to cripple us?”

“Fear,” Paul said, emerging from the darkness again. Curiously, he moved in next to me. Internally overjoyed just a bit, I made sure he had room. “Evening everyone.” Most of the group nodded, and I could see Paul’s smile already beginning to melt a few of the hotter tempers around the circle.

“Fear?” Carmen asked, her wide eyes searching for the truth in something to better cope with the loss of today. Ginger and Katya had both been hit with baseball bats and were too injured to continue without slowing Fritz or Carmen down, so like Sean, they had been left behind. “How in the world do Bigs fear us?”

Paul sighed. “You know… I would have never believed it myself. I mean, I joined LRG a long time ago. It was basically just a few people back then who escaped and were homeless. All full of anger and not much else. Together though, we found our strength and focused that anger and built what you see today. Then I got captured…”

“You did?” Fritz asked with wide eyes. “How’d you escape?” I forgot that most actually didn’t know about Paul’s history, but even I leaned in to see how he would answer. It was still a bit of a mystery that I wanted answered myself.

“That’s not important…” My hopes were quickly dashed, but likely about to be talked about in some form or fashion, I wanted to know what he had to say still. “What is though… I saw a different side to Bigs than most. The woman… well, she was different. It’s complicated and I’m still sorting it out, but when I saw those Bigs, I saw the same hatred and prejudice that you all see now.”

“And how does that lead to fear exactly?” Mindy scoffed and crossed her arms. I wondered if she would ever change by now.

“Fear breeds hate,” he said plainly. “We all view this as an us versus them argument, and as much as we don’t want to admit it, we both get lost along the way.”

“So, you’re saying we’re to blame for them?” Fritz asked skeptically. His question posed with him still holding his bruised head was a powerful sight. I could even see Paul waver for a moment.

Paul sighed. “There are two sides to every equation. We see them as the enemy, but I see your all’s looks when you come back bloody, bruised, and missing a friend or two. If you had the power, would you offer a hand of friendship to them, or would you strike them down for what they’ve done to you and your friends and your kind?”

The room was silent for a while. I could see the same question replay over and over in their minds. I couldn’t help but ponder the question myself. Seeing that he might be reaching everyone though, Paul continued. “See, they have the power, so they are acting out of hate.” He sighed. “It’s terrible, but it’s how we are wired. “Fear leads us to be more cautious. Before, we used it as a weapon against the predators of the jungle, so now our fear leads to us labeling what we fear as an enemy. It’s good for survival but look what it’s brought to us.”

“Do you have a solution then, or is this just another philosophy class that I fell asleep to in college?” Xander tried to joke amongst the tension.

“I don’t know, but I know we are the first step. We have to be.” Paul paused for a moment and took a breath. “They fear us because the native Littles here created a lot of their technology. It was the reason why the Great War here lasted as long as it did. Bigs have a long memory, so for us, we need to make up for what happened in the past. It’s harder to offer a hand to them in friendship when it could be a fist, but we have an opportunity here to at least try first.”

“And… how exactly does that help us at all?” Fritz asked. I could see the confusion and yet overwhelming amounts of hope in his eyes. “If we just sit back and active peaceably, won’t they all just walk over us like they’ve been doing?”

Paul shook his head. “Not all are bad. I know it might seem like it, but we need to find the good ones first.” Paul then looked down at his fingers, and I wasn’t sure what I was seeing, but he was definitely messing with something small between them. “My caregiver… she was kind and patient. She might have been an exception… not the rule, but it gives me hope. So many others have acted in fear but hold onto the fact that they could change. For now, they hate us because they fear us. Childish in a way perhaps, but we were the same in our own history.” A few scoffed, but Paul pushed through. “Do you think it was just a mistake that Earth was so devastated when they came? That wasn’t them… that was us. We learned, and LRG was founded to reach those that can be taught.”

“But what can they even learn from us?” I could still see the tears in Carmen’s eyes. “How can we teach them when we end up with black eyes and losing our friends every time we leave here?”

Paul sighed. “It will be slow and hard… maybe even painful for some of us. I won’t lie to you there,” Paul admitted reluctantly. “But we need to do it for a better tomorrow. Stay with us a little longer and find out just how we plan on doing that. Like most of you, I’m stuck here… so, we might as well take advantage of that and help those who aren’t able to now and those who come long after us.”

Paul had formed into a sort of crouch amongst the group, but now stood up. “We have some events planned. So, for now, I want you all to get your rest… lick your wounds. Today was hard, but our work of reaching out to the Bigs who can side with us is our first step.”

“But when will that happen?” Mindy asked impatiently. “Another week? Month? Year even? How long do we have to wait in the ruins here?”

Paul smirked just as he started to turn away. “Soon…”

After that, the group was left in confusion over their conflicted emotions and deep thoughts, but none so more than me. I had remained silent and couldn’t believe what I was hearing from Paul. When he was my true Little, I never heard anything but fear or vitriol from his mouth until the end. Now, I could see a leader with a plan and a heart. Cryptic and maybe not all so forthcoming as my friends seemed to want as they talked around the fire, but I could see that something was brewing soon.

Faced with the notion of Paul being a leader in LRG, a potential event coming up, and my lack of faith now in the mission overall, I was starting to feel compromised. I was hoping my friends around the fire would ease my mind afterward, but still stunned into contemplative silence, they didn’t. Most, like Mindy, just seemed frustrated as well with their involvement in LRG and wanted to push harder for change. So, when I got home, with all that stirring in mind, I prepared another dead drop for tomorrow morning.

Waking up earlier than usual, I quickly made my way over to the dead drop brick and slipped my note inside. While I didn’t use the code word to end the mission in that fashion or mark the letter as urgent, I still listed a few concerns and requested a meeting from an agent of importance within LPS. I hadn’t been instructed to be able to do so during this mission, but it was a valuable tool for further instructions when needed that I learned during my last undercover operation. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least try.

Later, with it being a weekday, I was still keeping up with my counseling job. I needed to pay the rent, and to ensure there was no connection back to LPS that one could easily find, I had to supplement my entire income. So, I had just finished up with another Little who was worried about their potty training. They were my seventh already this week and it was only Tuesday, but my concern was tempered when I heard a loud knock at my front door.

Slightly fearful that someone had found me out or that a Big was now targeting me, I approached the door with caution. I was somewhat t relieved that it didn’t immediately burst open afterward and that that there wasn’t a second knock, but considering the regression dispersal unit that had been mailed to one Little two weeks ago that made the news, my heart still pounded.

Opening my door slowly, I was relieved to see that no one was there anymore. I briefly wondered if it had been someone else’s door that had been knocked on… the walls weren’t particularly thick here, but as I backed away, my eyes drifted down, and I saw a small envelope on my front door mat.

Picking it up, I quickly retreated back inside. It was blank and while that would have likely soiled the shorts of any other Little, I recognized it as LPS’ way of communicating with me. Still, I made sure to hold it away from me and even open it up in a pot that I could quickly close. Stupid to any of my Big friends if I ever talked about this moment, but for a Little, there was no such thing as being overly cautious.

Fortunately, it just contained a single letter. “Perry Street. By the northernmost bank. 2 P.M.” Memorizing the location, only being about two blocks away, I burned the note. Being made of flash paper, it went up in seconds.

I quickly pushed my next appointment up, which actually turned out better for the Little… Apparently, the new swing set over on 29^th street was just too good to pass up. Regardless, though, I soon found myself wandering down Perry Street.

Darkened and taller buildings loomed over everything. While the bank was sturdy in its position, the end of the street was much less so. A single alleyway, all damp from a recent rain, smelled, and the air was heavy with the underbelly of the more decaying side of the Little populated area. If things like that weren’t already putting me on edge, I saw a likely homeless old Big woman sitting slumped at the base of one building and muttering to herself.

“Starfish… opal… peanut has its eyes…” she muttered, her grungy appearance and her voice crackling with a raspy quality that made me quicken my pace.

Unfortunately, I got to the end of the street, and I didn’t see a single agent that I could make out. They were usually obvious, and beside the old woman and the Little, clearly in withdrawal of something, I was alone.

I checked my watch. 2:02… ‘Shit…’ My heart began to race again. The flash paper and the communication strategy all lined up with LPS, but I couldn’t help but flinch at every pop of gravel when I car went by on the road, or when a hiss came out of a nearby grate that led down to the subway system underneath.  

Not wanting to stay in one place, after about another minute, I decided to call off my meet-up with them. I would question it tomorrow morning with another dead drop, but for now, I just felt I needed to get home. “Damn! I guess I just have to…”

The old woman sprung up and surrounded me. Standing toe to toe for a second, she towered over me, and before I could make out even a single whimper, let alone scream, her hand was covering my mouth. Another arm then gripped my arm and side opposite, and I was dragged down the alleyway.

“Please… please…” I begged, when the old lady oddly removed her hand from my mouth. By now, I felt if I just quickly complied, I could find a time to flee from her and rely on my agility outmatching her, or she would be more lenient to me if I couldn’t escape right away. Dignity meant little when pleading with a Big if it meant avoiding diaper in the future.

However, none of my posturing to her proved necessary…

“Geez, Soph…” the old woman said amusedly, though I noticed the gravelly quality of her voice had quickly changed right as she pushed a button a small and now-blinking device. “You think when you might have heard your own name and you had the choice between me or shaky down on the corner, you would have asked me something…”

I squinted up at the Big, who was now rubbing her face and removing a scarf that had partially covered part of her face before. Crouching down, despite her disguise, I recognized her instantly now. “Astrid! What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Good to see you too, old friend…” I briefly looked away in embarrassment over my lack of manners to her. “It’s okay, Soph… but I felt we needed to talk. Your message… today and other times, well… I’m a bit concerned and to be blunt, the whole agency is as well.”

“They are?” I wasn’t sure how many people were involved, but I had seen that look on Astrid’s face before. It meant trouble.

“Yes,” Astrid confirmed. She then pointed to the blinking device concealed within her dirty clothing. “Now, I have this jamming device on, so no one can hear us, so tell me what’s going on. Is Paul really one of the leaders in LRG?”

I had forgotten I had shared that tidbit with her last week. I wanted it to be subtle, but I guess in retrospect, there’s no way of being subtle about one’s Little being the head of a labeled terrorist organization. “It is… he’s not the top leader,” I tried to defend, “but he definitely holds some sway over the group.”

“So, you’ve talked to him?” I nodded and Astrid instantly seemed more curious. “Hmmm… his position could actually work to our advantage, but I’m guessing with your recent tone in your messages… are you having second thoughts about the mission, Sophie?”

I definitely wasn’t expecting that question to just pop up so suddenly. I should have expected it, given that Astrid knew the lengths I would go to help Paul, but I was exactly prepared with a straight-up answer. “I… no, but… I don’t know…”

“What don’t you know?” Astrid, my friend, had now been clearly replaced with Astrid the agent. She wanted answers and wouldn’t be leaving until she got them… or I had been ‘taken care of.’ It could mean a lot coming from her definitions over the years, but I didn’t want to risk finding out any of them in-person.

I sighed. “I just… LRG feels like something different,” I admitted. If I lied, Astrid could probably tell, and I would just be worse off. Like ripping off a band-aid, I just needed to be quick about all this. I didn’t have to reveal everything, but the gist could buy me more time in the future and satisfy Astrid for now. “I can’t see the whole organization, but… I’m just… I’m just not sure if they are the bad guys we make them out to be.” There, I said it.

Astrid only blinked at me for a moment. I was half convinced I was going to be pulled out of the field any moment now. “That’s…” She heavily sighed and shook her head. “That’s irrelevant right now, Sophie. Surely, you know that.” I did but I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself.

The news stories had already leaked out about LRG. If my encounter with the Bigs the other week was any suggestion, LRG’s reputation was souring by the day in the public’s perception. LPS was likely under pressure to produce results, and with Littles, most policies tended to play it safe. Once a mission was started like this one, even if it was just one rogue, it wouldn’t just stop. If I left, I knew that Sophie had enough information to continue still and instantly shut the group down using some… harsh methods.

Right as I was contemplating what was going to happen next though, I saw a dark cloud hover over my old friend and colleague. I hated that pensive look she got. She was a cool-headed field agent, so whenever her emotions showed, I rarely liked what I would find. “What is it?”

Astrid smirked but I could still see the dark conflict within her. “Never really could keep a secret from you…” She paused and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Before you do anything rash… Aetos and a few others… well, they made a call about your status.”

“My status?” My mind began to rapidly tick and shell out any possibility that she could be talking about. Including Aetos, I didn’t like any of them.

“They decided… any resignation on your part before LRG is shut down…” She sighed and I could tell this was killing her to report to me. My mind briefly flashed back to the notion of my failure on this mission and my disbelief that it was her. That suspicion was growing. “If you resign, Sophie, they can’t guarantee you to grow back up… to your normal size… to be a Big again.”

My mind went blank for a sudden. I think a small whimper might have escaped my lips, but I was honestly so numb and horrified right then, that I really don’t remember. We Bigs were a tricky lot when it came to Littles, and while I always knew that from the likes of my mom, this mission was showing a very clear picture of that to me now. Seeing as Paul was involved in all this and was a leader, LPS was now essentially asking me to choose between me getting my old life back and Paul’s freedom without any consequence. They made me a promise of immunity for him, but with this decision, I doubted I could truly count on that anymore. But right now, my mind couldn’t think of another choice in the this who cluster of crap.

“Say something,” Astrid said after a moment, her hand still not leaving my shoulder.

“I…” It was a struggle to get any words out. “What can I do, Astrid? I’m running out of things I can do. You don’t know what its like out here…” Astrid looked at me with curiosity and for a moment, I could see that my old friend was back more than the hardened LPS agent. “There are traps everywhere, and any Big could just snatch me up and that would be it. Did you know that LRG has already lost ten members in the time since I started this mission? One day here, and the next… poof! With this decision… I don’t know if I’m going to make it out of this mission in once piece if I have to stay potentially even longer…”

Astrid looked at me with sympathy, but I could also see a spark of something brewing in her head. “I’m sorry, Soph. I really am.” She sighed yet again and despite her being in charge of everything apparently, I was wondering if something had changed and that she was now more of a ‘middleman’ in all this.

“Some weird orders from higher ups lately, and I think there’s a…” I could see she wanted to say more, but in that moment, I needed to comfort her. I placed my hand on her to show that she didn’t need to continue for my sake. It was probably illegal to do so, and I didn’t want her to burden herself with that fact. If she was ever questioned, it could be very bad for her.

Smiling, she continued, but now, with a more serious expression. “We have intel that a bomb threat is imminent and that could be it, but I’m seeing a calamity in the future between Bigs and Littles. If you can’t find out the information, Sophie… another Great War could happen in the next year or so.”

I wondered what else she knew that she wasn’t telling me. LPS was to help Littles for sure, but it was also to maintain the peace. So, despite my aversion to destroying LRG, I knew something needed to give way, but I was still coming up blank with what to do in the meantime. “I may not like this whole arrangement anymore, but I understand. I just know what else I can do though…”

Astrid nodded and handed me a small envelope. “This could help. It’s just some information that we I printed out from a duplicate printer of the one in your apartment.” I took it without question. “Sophie… I’m giving this to you for one reason though. It will help your standing in the group and will help LRG avoid disaster soon, but… I want you to get higher up within the organization.”

The truth was out there now. I could feel something coming from my old friend after she mentioned the bomb threat, but I just wasn’t sure what. “Won’t that mean more risk on my part and my involvement with possible illegal activities though?”

Astrid hesitated but nodded. “It could, but we need more information on LRG. The consequences of getting there will likely be less than what we could learn. Because, in essence, with you higher, you’ll be able to find out about this bomb threat. If it’s legit, we can save lives. If it’s not, we might be able to back down and figure something else out for LRG. More immunity deals for members and whatnot. To me, it seems like a good tradeoff for any potential consequences you might face.” Her voice was filled with conviction, but she still sighed and then patted my shoulder again. “It’s a good thing you’re doing, but I need to know… can you do this for us… me, Sophie?”

In all honesty, it felt like a stupid question. I could see her sincerity and concern for my well-being, as well as checking on me from an LPS perspective, but with everything she had just laid out for me, any answer but yet felt near paramount to a suicide of a kind.

If I said no, I would have likely been removed from the mission. Maybe not today, but I knew my days in LRG would be numbered. And, from what Astrid just told me, that would mean a likely slow demise as a doomed Little in this world. Further, if I left, Paul was a dead man, figuratively, or considering everything going on, maybe even literally. So, in the end, despite her concern, I could only truly say one answer back to her. “Yes, Astrid. I can do this.”

As I walked back to my apartment and Astrid slipped away into the shadows not long after that, I did feel trepidation over my answer. Yes, it was the only one I really could give to her, but still, LRG presented a massive block to me. Even after several weeks with them, I was still considered a newbie and had only ever met Paul as a leader. Now, she wanted me to go deeper, consequences be damned.

It was a thought that burned within me for the remainder of my sessions and that continued even as I boarded the subway to go back to LRG headquarters later that night. I was plagued with fears and panics over my next steps. It was awful, but while on the subway, being amongst the Littles, and constantly being looked at by Bigs, it was unnerving but solidifying in my heart over what I had to do next. If I failed, Paul would be doomed, and I would be stuck. Risking my neck wasn’t appealing, but the alternatives were far worse.

“Hey, Paul?” He looked up at me later that night as I approached the fire circle he was seated around. I made sure to blend in with my friends and act casually about the whole thing, as well as to calm my still-present nerves, but I knew I still had to speak to Paul tonight. Waiting any longer would just be worse for everyone.

“Hey Susan,” he said back with a warm smile. It still had the ability to melt my heart, and while I felt some betrayal to him right then as well, I knew that to preserve that smile and likely his life as anyone would know it, I would have to follow a path that would one day break his heart. “Something on your mind?”

I realized I had paused for a little longer than I wanted to and I momentarily blushed. “Sorry… long day and all, but… uh, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”

Paul seemed to be happier than usual tonight… maybe even a little drunk. It worried me, but I hoped he would be willing. “Whatever you need to say to me, these people can hear it too. We got some really good news tonight about the passage of some safe Little laws up in Siahlum in Columbia. I’m sure we all would love to hear what you want to say as well…” So, I was wrong about his willingness...

My resolve crumbled a little, but my mind was driving at full force by then. Seeing the six or so in the group and knowing their fate if I didn’t act now, I couldn’t help but imagine what they would look like in the future. Pacifiers instead of beards or lipstick. Thick diapers instead of combat boots. Onesies instead of ‘LRG’ armbands. Maybe scars for a few… definitely blank eyes, empty heads, and spastic limbs for everyone though. “Okay… well, I would like to be put on a tougher mission.”

I made the decision on the way here that the only way I could advance was to either ask for that out loud or to request a tougher mission than more sign postings or handing out flyers. I was almost certain that requesting a larger leadership role would come off as suspicious, so against my better judgment for the immediate consequences, I volunteered for a tougher mission.

“Hmmm… I don’t know…” one of the older Littles mused. Streaks of gray ran through her hair, and I could see that she was well-respected from the number of other Littles now looking to her for guidance. “You’ve been here… what? Two months?”

“Almost…” It was hard to believe, and I almost felt a surge of pride over that fact and that I hadn’t been regressed or captured yet.

Unfortunately, I heard a few people chuckle. Another bearded Little then hushed everyone. “Quiet, quiet.” He turned to me. “We appreciate your dedication, Susan, truly… But most wait several months… not just under two, to get those higher tiered missions. It’s just too dangerous…”

I could feel my chances slipping away from me like sand through my fingers. I knew I had to say something… anything. “Please… I… I want to feel useful around here. I need that. I see everyone around here just waiting around, and they seem okay with that, but I feel useless. Please… let me help.” I knew I came off as a bit desperate, but in truth, I was feeling that by now with these new Littles.

The leaders around the fire murmured, but from their faces illuminated by the flames, I could see my appeal hadn’t really worked. I nearly walked away in shame with my over eagerness in that moment, but Paul then stood up.

“Everyone… please. I know that Susan here isn’t our most tenured member but look at what she’s accomplished so far as a newbie.” He then started to recall everything I had done since I had arrived. “And that’s just the small stuff that helps so many around here day to day. She’s also helped several Littles cope with their problems, has become the impromptu leader of most of the groups she’s involved in, and let’s not forget her run in with those Bigs a little bit ago.”

The murmurs and whispers continued, but this time, I thought I could see a few seem surprised and even receptive to what Paul was saying about me. “We now have a member willingly asking for more responsibility on the eve of another push in less than a week. Give her a chance first, and let’s see what she can do… I vote yes.”

The leaders debated and while I saw a few that were sourer, I also began to see a few smiles and looks of curiosity and gratitude as well. I wasn’t sure what it all meant, or even about this ‘push’ that Paul had just mentioned, but I knew I wanted to be a part of it. The clock was running, and every day now counted doubly so.

After a moment, the gray-haired woman then stood. “Susan… while a few of leadership here believe that you aren’t ready yet, most of us believe that you are at least ready for a chance… only a chance. If you are still willing in the morning, come by and we will put your ambition to work.”

Standing there, I realized that I was definitely in LRG now. There was no backing out, especially after Paul had seemingly just stuck his neck out for me. I could see hope in his eyes as he looked back at me and it was a good feeling. But there was bad as well.

Each of these Littles had just voted, and while some didn’t vote for me to be assigned tougher missions, the rest did. They were putting their trust in me, but it wasn’t lost on me that in so doing, they were practically ensuring their own demise. I hoped more leniencies would be given to them, but after LPS had already revoked my ability to become a Big at any time clause in my agreement, I wasn’t filled with hope.

Still, I had to force myself to remember two things as the doubt swirled around me temporarily. I had asked for this, and they had said yes. Also, I was doing all this in an effort to save as many in LRG as I could. Bomb or no bomb, there were innocents here. So, knowing my answer, fearing the future, and hoping for the safety of my growing pool of friends and supporters within LRG, I nodded my head. “I’m in.”

Paul gave me another smile, and I knew that my mission was back on track after tonight. Paul was smart though and had a good memory. While reading his journal might not have been the worst thing I had ever done in retrospect, I feared how he would react once he found out that tonight, I had been given more power in LRG, but that tonight was also the night where I would begin the process of one day dismantling LRG. I hoped Paul would forgive me, but in this world, hope was dangerous and rarely ever truthful.

[Guilend]

Wow things got complicated. I am confused though. They said if she resigned or didn't complete her mission then they wouldn't let her become big again, what about her failsafe? The tooth, was that a lie? I mean, sure she'd need immediate medical assistance, but if she planned it right then it would work. I doubt they'd spend the money and resources to make her a Little again as I imagine at this point the use of the technology is probably expensive. If it wasn't they would keep in touch with Sophie using an LPS agent turned Little every week or two. It wouldn't make the dead drop obsolete, it would however mean they could pass along items or Intel from LPS that couldn't be put in the dead drop or couldn't be put in writing.

 

I feel that it won't be long and Paul will figure out who Susan really is, if he hasn't already. I feel that he's way smarter then even Sophie realizes. He probably has his own plans going on.

[kerry]

2 hours ago, Guilend said:

what about her failsafe? The tooth, was that a lie?

Exactly my thought!

Also, I too am thinking that Paul might be fully aware of "Susan's" secret. What he said about Sophie, though, gives him a reason to cut her some slack while giving her enough rope to hang herself. What he does with his newfound trust will determine their relationship in the future as well as what becomes of her when this is over.

[babykamper]

I hope to see her spanked and diapered at some point. And then when she becomes big again to have diaper/spanking fetish. Sorry @Guilend beat you to it.

[LostBBoyBear]

3 hours ago, Guilend said:

Wow things got complicated. I am confused though. They said if she resigned or didn't complete her mission then they wouldn't let her become big again, what about her failsafe? The tooth, was that a lie? I mean, sure she'd need immediate medical assistance, but if she planned it right then it would work. I doubt they'd spend the money and resources to make her a Little again as I imagine at this point the use of the technology is probably expensive. If it wasn't they would keep in touch with Sophie using an LPS agent turned Little every week or two. It wouldn't make the dead drop obsolete, it would however mean they could pass along items or Intel from LPS that couldn't be put in the dead drop or couldn't be put in writing.

 

I feel that it won't be long and Paul will figure out who Susan really is, if he hasn't already. I feel that he's way smarter then even Sophie realizes. He probably has his own plans going on.

I realized this morning that I probably should have added the explanation to this chapter, but there is a rationalization pretty much in the very beginning of the next chapter that should be posted at some point before tomorrow if everything goes right. I already laid the seeds of why previously, but I spell it out specifically so everyone is on the same page going forward. For now, just hold tight.