Oh Dear

[r_cho]

2 months ago I was caught by mother, it was emotional and very hard to talk to, but I did it. I swore never again in the house anyway. Im 20 years old.

On Wednesday, I played it very sneakily and planned everything in advance, I had the fever again. You know when you just cant stop? And you MUST have some, like an addiction, I ordeded some diapers. Just ordering them, sent the adrenline running and I was in bliss, I made sure no one was going to be home by proding very sneaky questions, I even told my parents I was on a training course at work and had to be there early and finished early, to explain why I was at home, as I have like no trust with my mother at the moment.

I ordered some Abri Form X. They are the best diapers I have ever worn, they are think and big,and really make you feel euphoric, every you can want in a diaper. I had it, it was done. Last night, I had a few beers and put one on and went to bed, waking up only 7 hours later for work, I wasnt thinking, I folded the diaper up and put it under my bed, under a cussion that lays there.

Today, to my horror as I drove onto the drive way, I could see my blinds in my bedroom on the first floor were half open, I left them shut. This means someones been in my room cleaning.

I prayed on the spot "please please please". Opening the door to my house, the atmosphere lost its radiance, the doors to the kitchen and living area were closed. Usualy when I return home they are open, steam and the sweet scent of cooked food flows into the hallway and the living area is lively from the daily chat shows booming on the 42 inch widescreen plasma they have. Not today. Today there was no TV, the kitchen door was closed, I popped my head in to see my step dad, obviously clueless to the situation, I ask "Where is mam?"

The chilling fatal response he gives is "cleaning your room I think." Shit.

I sheepishly go up my spiral like stair, and approach my room, with the door wide open, no sheets on the bed, my mother standing waiting for me to step in. I woke in with my head day and she basically said; "So....I thought you stopped?" The conversation that flown through wasnt as uncomfortable as the first encounter and I wasnt very concerned or bothered, I promised I would get rid of them the next day "they would be gone". Her voice was quiet and intent with huge ammounts of disapointment, she said she has no trust in me, and cant trust me.

"What am I going to do with you?" Standing there, expecting an answer. "What am I going to do with you..." Her looks sadened and I cant stop feeling lack of care, I dont know why, I just couldnt care, she seemed less bothered this time but still concerned, as if shes given up and cant be bothered with me. Understandble. I feel so gutted I was so careless, she even said it was careless; "your getting careless, what if your brother found that? you know he takes no prisoners" (my brother was in the paratrooper elite squad and has done 3 6 month services in Iraq and Afganistan)

I have a hiding spot in my draw, i cleaned the bottom one out of clothes and unpacked a packet into them, and laid clothes on top to hide them, never going under my bed again.

What bullshit.

[dypered]

Well, certainly no offense intended, but at 20 you could be off living by yourself. At 20 I had been in the Navy for three years. Many folks are almost through college by then. If you're willing to take the big step and become independent, your diaper wearing will only be your issue, not anyone else's....

[Dookey]

You need to find your own place and then you can do what you want. Your mom should respect your privacy, come on 20 years old. Stopping is something that is hard to do for any length of time, so hiding in a better place is an option. Good luck

Dookey

[Radioman]

Her home, her rules.

your lucky she doesnt kick you out...

[beallucanb]

Start makeing noises like your looking for an apartment, you really don't have to, but make like you are, that might change her tune, any mother that thinks her little boy is going to leave freaks out.

And if need be do it, it might take you awhile but this should help you with your independance, after all your 20 not 10. just my $0.02

[Guest Sissy Lil Lucy]

Hiya,

I hear what everyone is sayingabout movig out and getting privacy, and i agree. BUT moving out costs, and more than you think if your not really ready or planned fully... and of course the thing that you have to take moey from when your a bi short fo bills/rent is diapie money.

So moving out can give you privacy but also no diapies... trust me!

Lucy

(Feeling Poor)

[mogumbo]

Okay... I don't usually weigh in on such topics but this one sorta begged for my $.02. What exactly does your mom object to? I can see 'rents vocalizing on such issues as drugs, alcohol and sexual trists inside their home.. but diapers? C'mon! Have you attempted at all to discuss with her in a semi-rational manner? Have you explained your compulsions? Is she unfairly or ignorantly assigning moral implications to diaper use? Is there any burden on her over this issue? She's not paying for them, she's not picking up your used diapers off the floor or otherwise going out of her way to deal with your diapers is she?

I do agree with the previous poster, her house, her rules. However, I can't get my mind around her objections as long as it remains something you do out of sight and out of mind of others. From your post, it's not like your parading around the house in your diapers at all hours of the day, leaving your dirty diapers on the floor or even in the trash can in the house, are you?

In the big picture, your diaper use is nothing more than a private garment choice. It may denigrate her perception of you as a solid, upstanding citizen but we all have our little pecadillos and peculiarities , that's what makes us all interesting! I'm sure even she's got a few "skeletons" not that you need to know what they are. And, at 20 years old, you should be afforded some privacy, even if it's her house. Why not just say, "hey, I'll clean my own room." and then make sure you do keep it clean.

Yes, this practice is unconventional and a little left of center. But hardly a major personality flaw. Sheesh...

Mo

[r_cho]

Thanks for the responses.

I live in the UK, and its not cheap to move out

[r_cho]

Well, here main concern was for my Neice whos 8 months old "when she gets older" , children are nosey etc was her argument and might see. But im like, well i wont be here anyway so. Today I was pretty cool about it and couldnt care more less.

My brother, my neices dad, is also very nosey and pokes about, her actual concer was "what if he saw?" you know.

I dont want to discuss her, I asked her is there anything she wants to say, say it now and then otherwise forget it, totally forget it and never bring it up, and I do clean my own room. She felt compulsed to clean it apparntly, an excuse to snoop it seemed.

Cant get privacy from her, but I'll do what i said and remove the packets under my bed, take them out and hide the daipers under my clothes in my drawer, where they are now, no one, not even my nosey brother will look.

Thanks

[DollyDiaper]

^ IMO that's worth a whole lot more than 2c Mo

I couldn't agree more with you, except your agreeing with Radioman. I believe Rules are always open to question, especially seemingly uninformed and irrational rules. I don't believe it's a case of r-cho being lucky that his mother hasn't "kicked him out" - indeed, I think it would be unforgivable, based on this issue alone.

D lly

[diaperpt]

"I believe Rules are always open to question, especially seemingly uninformed and irrational rules. I don't believe it's a case of r-cho being lucky that his mother hasn't "kicked him out" - indeed, I think it would be unforgivable, based on this issue alone."

Oh, oh, Dolly! Maybe I'm misreading you. I think maybe I am. Do you really think the mother has no rights in this situation? As a parent of 3 adult children, I can't imagine a scenario where one would live in my house, call the shots and I'd not have a right to ask them to leave. This just sounds a tad bit twisted.

Now, I'm not sure I'd ever throw out my child for this kind of thing, so I agree with you to the extent that it would be a little harsh for the mother to kick him out. As to the basic rights, however...

Maybe he should suggest to Mom that he will keep his room not only neat, but very clean. Maybe he can offer to do some other work around the house - does he contribute anything financially?? If he is a contributing member of the household, then he has a better position to ask and expect privacy.

Maybe he should just come clean with Mom and say, look - I'm going to wear diapers once in a while - I'll agree to do it in a way that doesn't intrude on anyone else's sensibilities...etc... It is tough for young people to get out on their own these days, but if they are going to stay at home it shouldn't be strictly on their own terms, holding the parents hostage! Parents have rights too!! (From a stale old fart in a diaper!!)

diaperpt

[tris]

Been there and done this scenario, R-Cho. I just moved out with my girlfriend, about 3100 miles away from any of my family.

Does my mother know about all this? Yes, and she doesn't like it.

Do I let it phaze me? Nah, I've come to the understanding that she's human just like me and has faults just like I do. Hers happens to be a fault of misunderstanding and irrationality.

Your mother's fear is probably for the safety of the infant in the house. It's clear that what you're doing is sexually based, and such, being 3* away from children, she probably thinks you might be a pedophile. The next time it comes up, make sure she understands that you're not into kids. Help her understand that pedophilia is rooted in a desire to sexually dominate another, and that any kind of paraphilia (that is, a fetish) is submissively based, ie, far from wanting to F*ck a child.

If she's already taken the stance of not wanting to discuss it, I'd just let it be. Do what you're gonna do and make sure you keep everything hidden. But don't look like you're hiding anything. The more you hide, the more they're going to be afraid of this, and you're in particularly sticky turf to explain that what you're doing is benign, but at the same time hiding doesn't give that impression.

I feel for you, brother. Don't worry about them, they're just parents. And in the end, they still love you. I've been in your shoes, been caught plenty of times at 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21, even 22. When it's all said and done they're just people and you can choose whether or not the pain they bring you is worth caring about or even forgiving.

Let us know if you need more help.

ps, what about your dad? Maybe discuss this shit mano y mano -- He might understand.

[r_cho]

I have my step dad, and he doesnt know. Its best that way, hes a great guy , yet old fashioned. By the book and all that, for him to find out would be devastating more so, my mother is more open minded then i thought.

My brothers daughter doesnt live here at all, just comes to visit, she was speaking respect for the future.

I wish it was that easy to move out =/

[OneSickPuppy]

dude ... if you get caught that often in diapers you are really out of tune with your surroundings

[OneSickPuppy]

as long as im mommys boy i dont care what im called lol.

as much as I might hate to say it ... you might need to have a serious sit down with your mom. maybe you need to fully understand her angle and maybe she needs to understand her sons feelings. or well .. time to stop spending your paycheck on video games and savin it all for rent.

[toddler j]

As i have read this thread it has made me think of a few things,

some of them you have answered i.e. cleaning your own room and ppl snooping!

i was once in the position where i was caught out by snooping, can you belive someone

moved my bed out from the wall to get in the divan draw on the other side and had to force

the draw open as it didnt slide eaisly just to look!

isnt that right dolly?????

anyway.....

its not about running riot in your mums home or being kicked out,

but i assume you pay rent to her for living there and at 20 paying

your way i belive you deserve some privacey! hell, my mother wanted

privacey so she kicked me out at 16 so she could do as she pleased.

i could prolly put lots more, but its not helpfull stuff...

Tj.

[diapered1964]

Well, certainly no offense intended, but at 20 you could be off living by yourself. At 20 I had been in the Navy for three years. Many folks are almost through college by then. If you're willing to take the big step and become independent, your diaper wearing will only be your issue, not anyone else's....

In what country do you happen to live where "many folks are almost through college by than" refering to age 20??

It just happens that that the adverage age of a highschool graduate in this state is 18, most college freshmen are 19 when they enroll and dd not graduate from a 4 year college in less than 4 1/2 years making them 23.5 to 24 years old apond graduation and only 20 years old there junior year in college.

Now I do agree with you that at the age of 20 one could be of living on their own, heck I have been living on my own dollar since the age of 18. Yes I was one of the lucky ones to only be 17 when I graduated from high school and at 18 I was unlucky enough to be living with a large enough family that my father decided at 18 it was time not to let the door hit you in the back side on your way out, but thats a whole nother story.

[paradox]

yeah you gotta move out. If you live with other people especially family some things have got to be taken into consideration. However if you live by yourself, good job your an adult indulge in all the sex, drugs, and weird fetishes your mother told you to never do. I beleive the UK has an assisted living program. I know they had something like that when i was there

[Guest diamondback688]

the US has a welfare system, but im not sure if he could apply fir it or not.

[tommee]

The UK has quite a generous benefit system, but they won't give you money just to move out, and there are lots of criteria you have to meet. Moving into council run accomodation, like a hostel (there's no way you'd be entitled to a coucil flat), would be much worse than living with your parents. Living in a private shared house can be suprisingly cheap in many parts of the country, and you'd have a lock on the door. See if any of your friends want to move in with you.

I was caught a few times while I was in my teens and living at home. It was mega awkward for a week or two, maybe up to a month, but things have a way of working themselves out.

[Guest]

Her home, her rules.

your lucky she doesnt kick you out...

Don't you find that extreme? Kicking your child out because they want to wear diapers?

[tris]

Different age, different generation and different viewpoints on what life really is.

I could give you all another diatribe about humans, and their existence in the time-space continuum that we call "life", but the fact to the matter is, older people suck.

Here's why:

You seem to have this idea that the world hasn't changed. Maybe you're closer to getting "in tune" with yourself and more aware of the changes society has made, but I think the majority of you are out of touch with the reality of being a young person today.

When you were 18, the world was different; people made the choice to goto college for higher education. Today's youth are sometimes forced into going to college and thus, it's crowded with the vast majority of those who really aren't interested in furthering themselves, even with the evidence suggesting that a higher paying job can be had once a degree is attained. But still, a living-wage job with proper benefits cannot be had by anyone under 25 without some kind of social advantage. (ie, a hookup)

Back when you were 18, you could probably afford to move out; the world WAS a cheaper place to live. Average cars weren't 20k and houses certainly weren't 250k. Although there might have been such thing as a 30yr mortgage then, paying for cars over 7 years was unheard of. A loaf of bread was still under a buck, sometimes under 50 cents. Gas was cheaper, and on top of that, jobs were had by those with little to no training; not all corporations were fueled by shareholder's greed; and a college degree didn't necessarily mean you were on the top of the list for employment consideration. It was an easier time to live. Life was still simple.

I know for a fact that my dad (born in '55, moved out at 18) paid 75/mo rent on a decent house, and that was average. Rent today for a similar place (not a house, an apt) is 10x times that. Housing has become a commodity, afforded only by those fortunate enough to attain it. Our nation has gotten exponentially more expensive in the last 10 years than it ever was.

I'm sorry to get all political folks, but it's true.

I think now that many of you are properly established in life, you fail to recognize just how much of a struggle young adults are up against in America. Maybe you forgot what it was like to make the first move. . .

Just sympathize, at least, and understand that many of the options you once had to join the freedom and the pursuit are the same options that lead us to enslavement and unhappiness.

[Dill_Pickle]

Different age, different generation and different viewpoints on what life really is.

I could give you all another diatribe about humans, and their existence in the time-space continuum that we call "life", but the fact to the matter is, older people suck.

Here's why:

You seem to have this idea that the world hasn't changed. Maybe you're closer to getting "in tune" with yourself and more aware of the changes society has made, but I think the majority of you are out of touch with the reality of being a young person today.

When you were 18, the world was different; people made the choice to goto college for higher education. Today's youth are sometimes forced into going to college and thus, it's crowded with the vast majority of those who really aren't interested in furthering themselves, even with the evidence suggesting that a higher paying job can be had once a degree is attained. But still, a living-wage job with proper benefits cannot be had by anyone under 25 without some kind of social advantage. (ie, a hookup)

Back when you were 18, you could probably afford to move out; the world WAS a cheaper place to live. Average cars weren't 20k and houses certainly weren't 250k. Although there might have been such thing as a 30yr mortgage then, paying for cars over 7 years was unheard of. A loaf of bread was still under a buck, sometimes under 50 cents. Gas was cheaper, and on top of that, jobs were had by those with little to no training; not all corporations were fueled by shareholder's greed; and a college degree didn't necessarily mean you were on the top of the list for employment consideration. It was an easier time to live. Life was still simple.

I know for a fact that my dad (born in '55, moved out at 18) paid 75/mo rent on a decent house, and that was average. Rent today for a similar place (not a house, an apt) is 10x times that. Housing has become a commodity, afforded only by those fortunate enough to attain it. Our nation has gotten exponentially more expensive in the last 10 years than it ever was.

I'm sorry to get all political folks, but it's true.

I think now that many of you are properly established in life, you fail to recognize just how much of a struggle young adults are up against in America. Maybe you forgot what it was like to make the first move. . .

Just sympathize, at least, and understand that many of the options you once had to join the freedom and the pursuit are the same options that lead us to enslavement and unhappiness.

A couple of thoughts....

From a practical standpoint, r cho has to get his diapers out of his room/house. That means not leaving any behind on the way to work. I hope he has a car, as the boot/trunk of this is ideal for the purpose, and darn hard to snoop into. At least in the US, I use ziplocs to contain used diapers for transport to wherever they are to be disposed of, possibly waiting a few days before final disposal. Add peroxide to delay the smell; the plastic won't stop the stink for more than a few days.

As his mother seems more concerned about the social consequences, maybe a talk with her about where to have some privacy for this kind of thing is in order. You could offer to talk about this with her and a shrink if you think it would help ease her mind, and invent a socially appropriate excuse with her in case it is discovered, such as you have a bit of gut trouble from time to time.

From a political standpoint, my 22 y.o. adult stepdaughter has no real prospects of living on her own...her job just doesn't pay enough, given that we live on the crowded coast of the country, where housing is double or triple what it is in the middle of the country.

But making a car LAST 7 years was also unheard of....and a car can be had for about $10K, but it then costs $150 per month or so in insurance. I'm getting bored with my toyota pickup, has about 175K miles on it, running strong, about a decade old.

[wsdler]

With the peroxide... do you pour it in the diaper or in the bag and how much do you use? Even with putting my wet diapers in ziplocks my room still smells like a wet diaper after a day.

[Dill_Pickle]

With the peroxide... do you pour it in the diaper or in the bag and how much do you use? Even with putting my wet diapers in ziplocks my room still smells like a wet diaper after a day.

Put it on the peed part of the diaper...a "dollop" will do..that is an ounce or three, very approximate. Get the freezer weight bags, they are heavier weight plastic.

Oh, and you need to drink more so your pee is less concentrated, too...

Dill Pickle