How to tell my Christian girlfriend?

[Atilon]

Hi all, 

 

New here. 

 

I'm a Christian and so is my girlfriend. We love each other deeply and have starting discussing marriage and our future. However, I need your advice and prayers. How do I tell her, a Christian who knows very little about fetishes and kinks, I am an AB/DL? I'm so worried about losing her, I'm hesitant to even tell her. But, at the same time, I don't want to hide it from her. I'm going to ask God for guidance, but I feel the need to ask my fellow Christians (and people of other faiths) for some help and advice. 

 

Thank you

[DiaperboyEddie12]

@Atilon  I do have a reply but as I’m on my cell I will later on when I get home.

[spoonchicken]

You have a simple choice to make:

#1: Abandon your fetish forever.

#2: Tell her the truth, and immediately. If this is gonna be a deal-breaker it's best for everyone that this information comes to light sooner as opposed to later. The longer this lurks in the background the harder it will be to get past it. She'll ask the inevitable question "Why did you wait so long to tell me?" And no answer you give will be OK.  And if  worst comes to worst, better to break up now, BEFORE there's a legal marriage and KIDS to be considered. That would just make a bad situation even worse. 

And as far as trying to defend / explain The Life...fetishes are defined as "getting sexual gratification from inanimate objects". So strickly speaking, it's no wierder than men getting unexplainably turned on by....not just any miniskirt, but specfically a black leather skirt...or a pair of 3" high heels...or...a certain hairstyle. OR whatever. These reactions are too intangible to explain with tangible words .Instead, just go with the flow (pun intended!). So that's a fair answer that defends fetishes in general.   

   As far as diapers?  They make us relax and feel better. They make it possible for many of us to re-capture ( or in the case of many people here, create for the first time)...a feeling of a stress-free mindset. Relaxed, comfortable, feeling "warm & fuzzy" in body, mind and soul.  Every human shares the desire to feel that way. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Some folks immerse themselves in sports. Others turn to religion. Many folks utilize a combination of things. The ABDL community focuses on diapers to achieve this goal.      

That's it...that's really all there is to it. And yes, it's harmless. The "vanilla world" (as we describe outsiders) views us in less than complimentary terms. They mistakenly believe that we're a danger to society (i.e., children).  *gasp* "Just because some of us enjoy wearing diapers is bad enough, but to engage in sexual activities that include diapers ?!?  Heavens to Betsy, they must all be a bunch of closet pedophiles just waiting to do evil sick things to & with real children!!!" Or so they typically say and think.

NOTHING could be further from the truth. ALL we want is to be left alone to live our personal lives AS WE SEE FIT TO DO! And since we're not "exporting" ourselves upon the rest of the world, we are harmful to no one. 

Good luck  🥄🐔  

[foreverdl]

42 minutes ago, spoonchicken said:

You have a simple choice to make:

#1: Abandon your fetish forever.

#2: Tell her the truth, and immediately. If this is gonna be a deal-breaker it's best for everyone that this information comes to light sooner as opposed to later. The longer this lurks in the background the harder it will be to get past it. She'll ask the inevitable question "Why did you wait so long to tell me?" And no answer you give will be OK.  And if  worst comes to worst, better to break up now, BEFORE there's a legal marriage and KIDS to be considered. That would just make a bad situation even worse. 

And as far as trying to defend / explain The Life...fetishes are defined as "getting sexual gratification from inanimate objects". So strickly speaking, it's no wierder than men getting unexplainably turned on by....not just any miniskirt, but specfically a black leather skirt...or a pair of 3" high heels...or...a certain hairstyle. OR whatever. These reactions are too intangible to explain with tangible words .Instead, just go with the flow (pun intended!). So that's a fair answer that defends fetishes in general.   

   As far as diapers?  They make us relax and feel better. They make it possible for many of us to re-capture ( or in the case of many people here, create for the first time)...a feeling of a stress-free mindset. Relaxed, comfortable, feeling "warm & fuzzy" in body, mind and soul.  Every human shares the desire to feel that way. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Some folks immerse themselves in sports. Others turn to religion. Many folks utilize a combination of things. The ABDL community focuses on diapers to achieve this goal.      

That's it...that's really all there is to it. And yes, it's harmless. The "vanilla world" (as we describe outsiders) views us in less than complimentary terms. They mistakenly believe that we're a danger to society (i.e., children).  *gasp* "Just because some of us enjoy wearing diapers is bad enough, but to engage in sexual activities that include diapers ?!?  Heavens to Betsy, they must all be a bunch of closet pedophiles just waiting to do evil sick things to & with real children!!!" Or so they typically say and think.

NOTHING could be further from the truth. ALL we want is to be left alone to live our personal lives AS WE SEE FIT TO DO! And since we're not "exporting" ourselves upon the rest of the world, we are harmful to no one. 

Good luck  🥄🐔  

You make a lot of really Good points. But if his fetishes are real and not just a passionate phase. No matter what he will do to try to forget forever . That most likely will never happen . He can read some of my stuff . I waited over 10 yrs to tell my wife and 29 yrs into our marriage we are still married . But had I found a person with the same fetishes I would have been in some ways happier . I do really Love my wife. But now we are old and kinda stuck. No sex life at all. I get to play by myself some. I say Please have the conversation NOW and save you both a hardship . At least you will know. You can talk about it with her if she is interested in you enough to keep you. But the only thing you gain by saying you will quit is Nothing. When you have kids and get really jealous by them in the fun wet diapers . You will take one and pee in it and then it's over only the beginning of the rest of the lies, for the rest of your marriage or the end with a sex pervert label on you for playing in a baby's diaper. Just let her know now.

[LilRugrat]

Hi there, welcome to an amazing supportive group of people! I do think asking for advice is useful. I think praying for guidance is a great first step in making this decision in your life. Ultimately, you are the only one who can decide what is best for you.

I went through the typical binge and purge most people on this site have gone through at some point in their life. I saw myself as damaged and dirty for enjoying diapers. No matter how much I  wished this fetish to go away, it never disappeared. It took me a few hard and self punishing years to come to the conclusion that God would not hate me and punish me for having this fetish.

90% of the time I have seen anyone struggle with accepting their fetish is when it comes to relationships with "vanilla" people they love. I myself had to stop and figure out if I could be happy in such a relationship, hiding my desires. I told my boyfriend at the time and that was the end of our relationship.

I chose to tell my boyfriend because I couldn't live with myself keeping such a large part of myself hidden from the one I loved. It felt dishonest and made me feel disconnected from God to keep this secret from my boyfriend. 

I agree with the above comments, you need to tell her. It sounds like you love her and she loves you. Imagine if the tables were turned, would you want to know or would you want to find out sometime down the road? Feeling vulnerable with someone you love isn't easy. 

I will tell you that in the moment of breaking up with my boyfriend, I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. God has a plan for each of our lives. I ultimately found the love of my life, a Christian AB/DL. We go to church together, diapered to protect the pews.

It won't be easy to tell her, but it is worth it. I will also say this last thing, don't minimize when you tell her. What I mean by this is don't say, "I can just stop, or I don't really need it" If these were true you wouldn't be on this site asking for advice.  No matter what you decide, you have to be okay with yourself in the end. 

 

[dlsafrica]

If she is Christian, chances are very good that there will be a level of understanding, or trying to. The Biblical principle of love being patient and kind would probably make the situation easier.  What happened in my case was my ex found a diaper under my pillow one day. I didn't leave it there with that intention though.

[LilRugrat]

@Atilonany updates on how the talk went or didnt go? 

[Firefly 35]

@Atilon Each person is different so there really is no one right answer.  I would be honest about this and try to respect her wishes if she doesn't want to participate. 

[wellpaddedagain]

(This turned out longer than I thought. Apologies).
I haven’t read all the replies but I’ll weigh in. 
I’m a Christian and so is my wife but I didn’t tell her for the first several years of our marriage. Like maybe 5 years or something. I always felt super guilty but eventually I left some diapers in a box where she could find them. So I left them out ‘accidentally on purpose’. She found them, she was shocked because it went against the idea of who she thought I was. We talked about it and in the end of that first talk she let me know she still loved and accepted me and that ‘you like what you like’. Fast forward to several years later and this is what we have. she’s fine with the following:

- Sleeping in and using diapers to wet at night. 
- Same with naps in diapers. 
- Going around the house in a diaper if the kids aren’t home. (We have kids now. A whole other discussion.)

- using diapers in sex

- her changing me the odd time.

- She’s not abdl herself but has tried them on and worn them. 

She’s very open minded.

if you have it in your mind that you’re already going to tell her I say go for it!  Looking back I wish I had told her a lot sooner. 
Best of luck!  

 

 

 

[Dee Cee]

I  first found , god back in grade school , soon after our Christmas play , I was the donkey , all shaggy and brown , to carry  the baby to Bethlehem town …and the rest of the words are lost , to time , but I was very head strong , and rebellious , I went to Sunday school , and read my little maroon Bible , the New Testament, and I can still , remember the all of John 3:16 , and I am now over 70 , and I have sought Jesus, in prayer for many years , decades , but I am also a human , that , just as a child , and Jesus, is just a few steps ahead of me , but all I have to do , is just look to the left or right , taking my eyes of of him , and instantly, am walking down a flight of steps, right along the path , and in the twinkle of an eye , I am down below the ground , in total darkness , just lost , and doing what I want , to do , and it’s very scary as I know I am just walking blindly , separating, myself from , Jesus ! This has happened , oh , so many times , and I have done many many things , like becoming a drug dealer , and seeking the acceptance into the out law biker scene! I became one of them , and I wasn’t just a member , but became out spoken and they looked up to me as a somebody , and I had one of the nicest bikes in the whole club of about 150 members in 4 states , and 6 chapters , and every last one of them knew my club name , and they all liked and knew I would do anything , for the club , go to jail for fighting , drugs , possession of firearms , and concealed weapons , hand guns it never mattered , I had a reputation to to uphold ! And I wasn’t scared of a damn thing , fights , me on 2-3 guys , and I was only 5’7” , and 180 lbs. of crazy , whoop ass , as I did 3 yrs. in the marines , 72-75 , so I could handle myself , going ape shit on anybody , with a knife or gun , dirty , the only out come was , me kickin somebody’s ass ! But the lord , saw fit to , humble me I had been married 3 times by the time I was 30 , but that didn’t slow me down , as I could get just about any , girl I wanted because of my name and reputation ! I thought I was, going straight to hell , no stoppin , me ! But then in 10-18-04 I was ridin my bike , had quit, drinkin and living on drugs , and was totally sober , for a decade , and this lady I could see her coming , from about a quarter mile , big line of cars behind her , and I was doing 45 , and she got about a car length, from me and she just turned , right into me head on  BOOM , it was over my bikes all crushed up , and I just got up somehow , and my left leg , just below my left pocket , had a pain like I had a very tight , tourniquet , and afew other injuries, but I hobbled off the road , towards these houses and just yelled help , then I just laid down under this big tree, and I was trying not to pass out , and just saying the date , the name of the president , and my name over and over , and the ambo , showed up , and they wanted to put this , damned neck brace on me but I just fought them off , and they was just holding me up as they just stood the  orange , back board up and strapped me down , so I didn’t just fall as they laid it down , so they could get me in the damn ambo , and I was giving orders in the ambo , don’t cut my boots off , and don’t cut that , and don’t … and the next thing I remember was , the head nurse , was one of my good buddies , wife and she just came over and asked real concerned , as she said my last name , and I could see , how concerned she was , as she asked me , what the hell did you do to yerself , and then I just went black , long story short , my left femur was broken into 3 pieces , and below my left knee bouts bones were broken into 8 pieces , I also knew the head surgeon, and he told me not to worry , and I don’t remember much after that, but he did come into my room at around 5 am , with my films and said how bad it was broken , and he was off to some lecture , and wanted to tell me it was one of the worst broken legs he had ever seen in his 20 years of being a surgeon, and was going to take my films , to this lecture , long story short , they never put a cast on my leg or foot , but they had fashioned this 6” wide 1/4 “ flat plate of aluminum that was just bent to go the whole way from the top of my hip in front and wrapped the whole way over and under my foot , all the way up the back of my leg and just covered the back of my butt , and had the whole ting all wrapped in ace bandages , and they just left it like that for a week or so then just took all that stuff off and cleaned me up real good , and it was about 12 days , and they just discharged me out of the hospital, to my bed and I was up on a crutch , soon after , but my wife had to just shove the bed pan under my butt so I could just relieve myself , in the bed pan ! But once again I was talking to Jesus, the whole time , and today I have to walk with a cane , and there was nothing they could do for my crushed left foot  , but today I can move around real good with my cane ! But I know God , still has his platoon of angels all around me , and he’s not done with me yet ! Praise his holy , name ! Thank you , dear lord ! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼