Dating and Diapers

[DailyDi]

Being asexual and antisocial I don't have to worry about dating much, but I wonder how those of you who wear 24/7 or every night handle dating and diapers. When do you tell?

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, DailyDi said:

Being asexual and antisocial I don't have to worry about dating much, but I wonder how those of you who wear 24/7 or every night handle dating and diapers. When do you tell?

I wouldn't say that you're antisocial buddy, I would just say that it takes time for you to be comfortable enough to talk to people, but once you do you're pretty good at chatting with people. You're just a late bloomer buddy, like me, and that's okay. Big hugs!🤗♥️😏😉♥️💯😁😃♥️💯☺️

[Little Sherri]

This is an interesting question. It's sort of academic for me, personally, because I've been married for more than 20 years, and getting divorced would be such an apocalyptic event, financially, that I wouldn't likely have the means to date in any case, as I'd be too busy scrounging the forest floor for food, and kindling to cook it over. That said, I have always wondered how this goes for people who have AB/DL tendencies, are incontinent, or both. I guess the best bet would be to meet people via like-minded venues such as this site or others, meetups, etc, but that does seriously narrow down the range of people you're likely to encounter, and chemistry being what it is - unpredictable - people are inevitably sometimes going to find themselves interested in people not familiar with this world. 

When I met my wife, I thought that the ABDL side of me was dead and buried, so I didn't feel any need to bring it up or forewarn her about it. When that side of me reappeared decades later, it put me in a difficult position, one that could have had very real consequences... my wife and I share a life, businesses, property, kids, etc. Blowing all of that up would have been devastatingly painful for both of us. So I would definitely recommend that if "this" is of great importance to anyone, they should strive to be up front about it early, to limit the blast radius if it doesn't go well. 

For those of you who have been through it, how did you handle it? At what point in the relationship did you open up? How did it go?

[Little Cub Pants]

57 minutes ago, Little Sherri said:

This is an interesting question. It's sort of academic for me, personally, because I've been married for more than 20 years, and getting divorced would be such an apocalyptic event, financially, that I wouldn't likely have the means to date in any case, as I'd be too busy scrounging the forest floor for food, and kindling to cook it over. That said, I have always wondered how this goes for people who have AB/DL tendencies, are incontinent, or both. I guess the best bet would be to meet people via like-minded venues such as this site or others, meetups, etc, but that does seriously narrow down the range of people you're likely to encounter, and chemistry being what it is - unpredictable - people are inevitably sometimes going to find themselves interested in people not familiar with this world. 

When I met my wife, I thought that the ABDL side of me was dead and buried, so I didn't feel any need to bring it up or forewarn her about it. When that side of me reappeared decades later, it put me in a difficult position, one that could have had very real consequences... my wife and I share a life, businesses, property, kids, etc. Blowing all of that up would have been devastatingly painful for both of us. So I would definitely recommend that if "this" is of great importance to anyone, they should strive to be up front about it early, to limit the blast radius if it doesn't go well. 

For those of you who have been through it, how did you handle it? At what point in the relationship did you open up? How did it go?

I agree, they should totally be upfront about it from the get-go. I just feel bad for them because inevitably they're going to come across people that don't accept them for their lifestyle and choices, and that's very sad. But when they find the right one it'll be like hitting the lottery. So that's always a good thing.😁♥️🙂

[ValentinesStuff]

My problem with dating and diapers is that the diapers are rarely around for a second date. 

 

Being asexual and aromantic, I don't date either.

[Cute_Kitten]

I may not be aromantic, but I'm asexual. My dating life is nonexistant so I wouldn't know. 😂 

[feralfreak]

never dated, never will

[le Hollandais]

When I met my wife, I was doing a pretty good job of suppressing my diaper desires. After we were married, I continued my suppression for almost 10 years, I think. And of course, as you all know it came roaring back with a vengeance. We've been married for 43 years. I doubt my diaper revelation would jeopardize the marriage. I've been an active DL since joining this forum six years ago, perhaps? I'm not exactly sure. Sometimes I think I should fess up. And other times I think maybe it isn't that important.

[Snugglebear_69]

With my Wife and my Boyfriend I brought it up when it felt appropriate to the relationship. There's no magical number really, you just need to be at the right place in the relationship where it makes sense to disclose and hasn't gone past that time either.

[Babypants]

On 4/21/2023 at 4:37 PM, Cute_Kitten said:

I may not be aromantic, but I'm asexual. My dating life is nonexistant so I wouldn't know. 😂 

Just got a great laugh out of this.  It's really good.  Thank you.

[Babypants]

As an incontinent, this was always really easy for me.  For the obvious practical reasons, you can't hide the fact that you are wearing diapers, so I never tried.  My diaper bag was always right out in the open.  My disability didn't define me in my own mind, and perhaps that goes far to explain why over the decades the many ladies in my life typically shrugged it off.  But this has to be a much more difficult question for the AB/DL.  Suppose you meet someone, and fall madly in love?  Do you tell her/him, and risk losing the person on the spot?  Or do you keep your mouth shut?  Well, that's a lie-- it just takes the form of omission rather than commission.  Lies are a shaky foundation on which to build an enduring relationship, and when they are uncovered, the sense of betrayal and the pain that your loved one experiences rarely leads to a good outcome.