GF okay with Diapers but not wetting

[clt_abdl]

About 2 years ago I introduced my GF to ABDL and diapers! She is super cool about me wearing them and will even wear a pull-up sometimes in the bedroom. By all counts I’m lucky.

However we are struggling with my enjoyment of wetting and her acceptance of this. 

I’m sure there are some that would say to just not use my diapers, however this is something that is a large part of my enjoyment of diapers. Note that I do not mess.

Certainly some of you out there have encountered and felt with similar scenarios. 

Any advice or guidance?

[~Brian~]

3 hours ago, clt_abdl said:

About 2 years ago I introduced my GF to ABDL and diapers! She is super cool about me wearing them and will even wear a pull-up sometimes in the bedroom. By all counts I’m lucky.

However we are struggling with my enjoyment of wetting and her acceptance of this. 

I’m sure there are some that would say to just not use my diapers, however this is something that is a large part of my enjoyment of diapers. Note that I do not mess.

Certainly some of you out there have encountered and felt with similar scenarios. 

Any advice or guidance?

@clt_abdl

I can tell you from experience that the easiest way to handle this is to  talk to her and see if you can somehow convince her that if you only want to wet your diapers, that you wouldn't be messing them. Some people like to wet their diapers, some people like to mess their diapers, some of them like both, and some just wear for fun. Sounds to me like you want to be able to wear your diapers and be able to use them. Some people are not keen on peeing a diaper, and it sounds like your girlfriend is not that type of person quite yet. This is a turnoff for her at this point, but with time she may end up getting used to the fact of wearing diapers, and she may enjoy and explore it if she decides to use it.

Right now I would count myself lucky that you are allowed to wear diapers and she accepts that. Later on, you may be able to convince her of your want to use your diapers. You may have to come to an agreement that says that you will only use diapers for #1, or that you will be fully responsible for the mess if you use them as intended for number 2. This is something that you will have to talk to her about, and come to an understanding. If she is the one that is having the issues,it may be that she is not used to it yet . Hence, you, using your diapers for pee or poop maybe something that she doesn't like .

as I said, I would sit down with her and have a discussion, and then you will be able to find out where you both stand as far as wearing diapers and using them. If for some reason she does not like you using them, the only other way is to be able to use them outside of her presence, and then to take care of them yourself when you change period you will have to have a discussion with her to determine how far she is willing to let you go. As far as her, she will let you know when she is ready to move forward, and she may be hesitant, but if you give it time it should be OK.

Briam

[CodHero24]

People either accept who you are, or they don't.

There's no such thing as "Half acceptance".

Dump Her.

 

[Ipmapants]

DO NOT DUMP HER as people have stated,

I am sure you are more responsible than that. A relationship is about compromises and development maybe sometime in the future she will be more comfortable with it but we all have to come to grips with the fact that this is a bit of an odd thing about us that takes time for people to come around to. The fact that she is at least accepting of you wearing, says a lot about her character and that she is not judgmental. The wetting aspect can be difficult for people to accept who aren’t into what we are into, because they may view it as unsanitary or something thing of that nature and that is natural for them to think this way. I know this probably isn’t the answer you want to hear but sometimes we have to respect our significant other’s boundaries it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or anything it’s just a boundary they don’t want to cross. You can always allot alone time or when she is out, for wetting for now at least and if you absolutely want to push the issue, have a talk with her. And if it is something you can live without find other ways. And DO NOT listen to people on here who say dump her immediately!! 

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, Ipmapants said:

DO NOT DUMP HER as people have stated,

I am sure you are more responsible than that. A relationship is about compromises and development maybe sometime in the future she will be more comfortable with it but we all have to come to grips with the fact that this is a bit of an odd thing about us that takes time for people to come around to. The fact that she is at least accepting of you wearing, says a lot about her character and that she is not judgmental. The wetting aspect can be difficult for people to accept who aren’t into what we are into, because they may view it as unsanitary or something thing of that nature and that is natural for them to think this way. I know this probably isn’t the answer you want to hear but sometimes we have to respect our significant other’s boundaries it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or anything it’s just a boundary they don’t want to cross. You can always allot alone time or when she is out, for wetting for now at least and if you absolutely want to push the issue, have a talk with her. And if it is something you can live without find other ways. And DO NOT listen to people on here who say dump her immediately!! 

@Ipmapants@clt_abdl

I agree with my colleagues. Do not dump this person. Part of the reason why relationships work is because they get to a situation where you have trust love understanding and compassion for an individual that you have feelings for. Just because someone wears diapers does not mean that you should dump them, and some people do like diapers, and that is also not a reason to just dump them and move on. There has to be acceptance, but that could take time, and you should be able to give your girlfriend the time that she needs to be able to adjust to the fact that you want to wear and use diapers.

From what you've said, you are able to wear diapers, congratulations! Now, all you have to do is figure out a way so that you can move up the next step of the ladder, and be able to pee in your diapers. Peeing in your diapers is not that bad, and all you would have to do is make sure you have the appropriate way to dispose of any incontinence products that you use. The thing is that you don't want to place the stink and you don't want to cause a problem for either you or your girlfriend should you be living together in the same place. You should take out anything that is dirty so that you cannot smell that, cause I can guarantee you if there is a smell coming from a can somewhere in your home, you may be deadened to the smell because you're used to it, while somebody walking in the door first time it probably smelled the musty smell in the air.

When it comes to pooping your diapers, this might be something that your girlfriend does not like, or will not do. This does not mean however, that you should not do it, but the way you would do that is to be able to do it when you are alone in the house.  If you are alone in your house, you can do whatever you want, and you would have to take care of any diapers that are dirty, and get rid of the smell so that it does not bother your girlfriend. Having the house to yourself also means that you don't have to worry about your attire too much, because you can wear whatever you want in your own home and nobody should give you any grief.

Believe me I started wearing diapers in 2019 and I started going 24/7 in 2020. Best decision I ever made!I have the appropriate disposal containers and bags to take care of any mess , and it works really well. I have actually used my diaper in my chair before, and I've had a couple of issues with it, but not too bad period you also have to realize that if you're going to use the diaper as intended, you don't want cheap diapers that don't work for you, and you don't wanna end up having leaks come out of your diaper so you might wanna use a diaper cover such as a trifecta or agario where to protect your diaper area and the diaper so that it can contain what is inside. Once you peel that stuff off however, you will end up having to clean out anything that's in the diaper or on your skin. If you're going to defecate in your diapers, the poop on your skin will cause irritation to the extreme if not taken care of very quickly. Some people like to have a full diaper, and they like to play with it for awhile, but I can attest to the fact that poop on your skin will irritate the heck out of it, and you don't want that for very long . Make sure you're using a good barrier cream and a topical to make sure that you are well moisturized and keep it clean down there, this means if you have to shave any pubic hair or any errant hairs, it is better to do that because then you will be able to quickly clean up the mess rather than have to worry about stuff getting caught in your hair.

acceptance means that someone will allow you to do something. It took me a long time to come to the realization that I needed diapers. I've known about this site since I was 23, and I had the feelings ever since I was eight years old. I don't know why I feel the way I do, but I like diapers like you do. One thing that is important in my situation is that I am already incontinent both ways. Because of this, I already have a medical reason and a diagnosis to use diapers, I have my megamixes which is the best diaper made, and I can do whatever I want in diapers and I can go out and my house and wear diapers and no one says anything. My brothers also understand my reasons for doing this, the only thing that I've ever been told is make sure that doesn't smell in the house. If it starts to smell, my brother may remind me to take care of it, but that is as far as it goes. He understands why I have to wear diapers and why I want to wear diapers. Diapers also remove the stress and I'm not sure if you feel the same way, but that's the way it goes.

It may take awhile for your girlfriend to accept what you are trying to do. Make sure you let her explain her side of the equation and then you explain your side. Perhaps you can come to an agreement where you can wear diapers and you can use diapers at certain points, and she won't mind, or she may allow you to do it while she's away. One way or another you will be able to get to an understanding of when and where you can use your diapers as intended. There's no shame in using diapers or wearing diapers or liking diapers. Your girlfriend will have to understand this. She may not understand it now, because I didn't understand it either, and it took me a long time, and it also took me time because I had good friends that told me that it's OK to wear diapers, and because I can accept it, now I can move to the fact that diapers are comfortable, they are economical, they have a reason, and they also help me deal with the inner feelings that drive my fetish and my need. I've always liked diapers ever since I was eight. Maybe the reason why I liked them is because I was early toilet trained and usually kids that are trained too early are drawn to diapers because they like the feeling, or they feel that something has been removed for them too early in life, so they go back a step and enjoy diapers or like them. I am a diaper lover and incontinent, as well as being disabled. No one is going to tell me that I can't wear a diaper, and no one's gonna tell me that I can't use a diaper, in fact they're going to probably encourage me and support me because they know that there's a reason for me wearing diapers and using them.

Regardless of the reason that you use diapers, eventually you will probably want to move forward and do something different and possibly use your diapers as you intend. I'm not sure how long your girlfriend in the situation will do what needs to happen, but as I said and everybody else apparently has said, don't dump your girlfriend simply because she has not accepted it yet. It takes time for someone to come to that realization and it also takes time for someone to understand what's going on. If I had trouble understanding what the hell I felt like when I was 8910 and above, and why it felt good to have a diaper on, then it might be something that she can't figure out either. She might also like diapers, but she may not want to use them. That's fine, if you play, she may want to change you, or she may wanna baby you. That's up to her and you and you have to set the limits and the rules as to how you are going to wear diapers how you're going to use them and all of that stuff. That's between you and your girlfriend, but please be aware that your girlfriend may not want to participate in certain parts of the lifestyle, until she fully understands what's going on. She may have to deal with the feelings or anxiety or being in a situation where she feels guilty or shamed because she's wearing them, but I can tell you diapers are fun if you do it right. I will spare you the details here because it may not be appropriate, but I can tell you that if done right diapers feel like you're in heaven. Nice and soft, safe, and it allows you to say hey it's OK we can just get rid of it and have fun doing it. A diaper allows you to explore what's going on, and also to allow you to blow out what you are holding, meaning that if you are doing something fun and you keep stimulating yourself, you will come to an orgasm that will put you in orbit. I can tell you that certain individuals probably have that skill, and I tell you if they do it'll feel like 1,000,000 bucks.

In short talk to your girlfriend and see where she stands: tell her of your intentions, but if she says that it's not a good idea for you to use your diapers for number 2 for example, then you wouldn't use your diapers for number 2 in front of her. If she says it's OK to use your diapers for #1, then of course you would be able to use your diapers for that purpose. Hopefully if done right, you can do a number three in your diaper and I can tell you that it feels real good. However, whatever you decide to do you will have to come to a consensus. You should not dump someone simply because they don't like the idea of something that you want to do. You should discuss it and come to some sort of understanding or a deal that she can deal with and understand and that she feels comfortable with period who knows, she may become comfortable at some time, but we don't know how long that will take it'll depend on her and the way she feels and what she wants to do. A relationship is based on trust and love respect honesty integrity and there are other building blocks that make a relationship last my parents have been married for almost 38 years, and now they are the type of parents that you try to model yourself after when you deal with a significant other.

As I said just talk to her and see where she stands: she will tell you what she feels like, and you make sure that you tell her your story and how you feel about wearing and using diapers. If she understands that, then she may understand that you want to be able to go to the next level and be able to use them for number 1. Once she feels comfortable there, eventually she may allow you to do #2 in your diapers, but you may have to clean up the mess. Just be honest with her and let her know where you stand, the best way to have a good relationship is to let it all out on the table and tell someone exactly the way you feel and why you feel that way. I told my case manager exactly what I'm telling you, and what it actually feels like to wear a diaper or what it feels like to not have any control and sometimes be embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed anymore because I have everything I need I have the best diapers available, and I have the best team that I could ever ask for and I love them for what they have done.

Good Luck, and keep us informed please

Brian

[Snugglebear_69]

You can always still wet, just respect her boundaries and don't do it around her.

[BabyJune]

Kinda like buying a cup of coffee and not drinking it. ?

[Dartplayerinwvc]

On 7/31/2022 at 1:15 PM, clt_abdl said:

About 2 years ago I introduced my GF to ABDL and diapers! She is super cool about me wearing them and will even wear a pull-up sometimes in the bedroom. By all counts I’m lucky.

However we are struggling with my enjoyment of wetting and her acceptance of this. 

I’m sure there are some that would say to just not use my diapers, however this is something that is a large part of my enjoyment of diapers. Note that I do not mess.

Certainly some of you out there have encountered and felt with similar scenarios. 

Any advice or guidance?

Plus side of wetting them:

wetting them while stuck in a store checkout line....

wetting them while stuck in traffic....

wetting them while in a job interview.....

wetting them while in a movie theater....

wetting them while.....  shall I go on?

[rusty pins]

Downside of wetting when your GF is dead set against it:

Cold Shoulder

No sex!

Possible breakup

Maybe getting outed to everyone, friends, family and coworkers

Personally, I think the GF is over reacting and may not possibly be aware or understanding of everything.  She may be looking at her perceptions of someone in wet diapers.  She may be thinking it's unclean, smelly, stinky and slimy.  In her mind she might be thinking always of the BF smelling like pee everywhere they go, leaking diapers, wet spots on furniture, any number of things going through her mind.  Apparently she's cool seeing her BF in ABDL diapers, but it just might be how he looks in those diapers that she likes.  The thought of him actually using them is the turn off.  Maybe she can't get out of her mind that when having sex with him he was covered in his own urine (no matter how long he showered and cleaned up) and that is the turn off.  It's even possible she feels jealous of you wetting your diapers.  Not as crazy as that sounds.  She may think you get a sexual turn on and pleasure from wetting your diapers and that makes her insecure, like you get turned on sexually more with wetting your diapers than with having sex with her.  She is not the main attraction of your sexual fantasies.  I would discuss the wetting, find out what is her problem with it and reassure her that what she is afraid of isn't going to be a problem. 

Also see if you can come to a compromise.  A relationship shouldn't be one sided.  True, a compromise may already be happening because she does allow you to wear the diapers in the first place.  Maybe agree to not wet around her, when in bed, going out together for dinner, movie or shopping but do it when on your own and she is not around, or just around the house when you are working in the yard, basement, doing repairs and all that.  That is if you are living together which I presume.  If you both live in separate houses, what you do in your own house should be none of her business.

[Alyeskabird]

Interesting, and complex. Nice to see that you found someone that is not totaly aposed. It might take her a while to get to  excepting wetting. Go slow and gentle, get her used to the diapers, let her get used to wearing herself, and let her explore. Remember, shes probably got some wrong/bad ideas of what the whole diaper thing is about, and might actualy be concerned that you just want her to change you or something like that. If you really like her, try and work things out, and try not to push her too hard, let her get comfortable with things, and gently expand thoes boundries.

[Moochie]

I agree with the relationship advise given. Honest, open dialogue about your comfort with wetting and your g.f's discomfort. Is there a compromise in this dialectic. Discuss her fears/worries about wetting. I wet my diapers at work, around my wife, out socially, and no one knows. Of course my wife knows I enjoy diapers and she knows that I wet and mess. I never mess around her, that is our boundary, but when I am wet she doesn't know.