That moment when....

[DLJeff52]

Each of us on this journey have had moments when there was an "A-Ha", milestone, physical change, or surprise that we wanted to share with others, so I thought I'd create a post that allows each of you to reflect and share any of those moments you've had.

Today, at the 6.5 month mark, I had a muscle ache in my thigh and took my sweats down to rub it and see if there was a bruise there when I realized that the indicator on my diaper was wet.  I had NO recollection of wetting since I put the diaper on and only realize now that it was likely a slow dribble that had created that wetness over time.  It wasn't a full diaper by any means, but still, I had ZERO awareness!  

Maybe your moment was when you decided to go 24/7, your first experience with a wet diaper while sleeping, your first month, year or even day when you went 24/7.  Maybe it was when you tried to stop and couldn't.  I'd love to hear any of your powerful...that moment when epiphanies or accomplishments made you heart leap or left you somewhat wide-eyed!  

 

[Kif]

I think the bigger moment for me was when I realized that I didn't really need to care what others thought about me being in diapers? 

I used to worry about horrible scenarios of strangers harassing me etc, but I realized I didn't care about what strangers thought. Seeing hateful icky folks on social media and learning to tune them out helped; e.g. learning they're generally a minority, loud, and not people I care to elicit opinions from.

I did care a bit about what people who knew me would think, but I also realized that generally I tended to surround myself with folks whose opinion I respected...so if they had a concern it was likely to be out of genuine concern or curiosity, and not malice. Sure those icky folks can exist there too, but they usually didn't last there long so again not a concern.

[DLJeff52]

Thanks for sharing KIF!  That's a great "That moment when..."  One moment that contributed on my journey was when I was flying a couple months ago.  I had to change and was getting a diaper out of my backpack to take to the bathroom.  I was trying my best to be discrete, but middle seat made that somewhat tricky.  The lady who got up to allow me out saw the diaper and quietly whispered..."good luck changing in there!" as I walked by!  She said it in a way not to draw attention and with more of an empathetic tone.  When I got back and had sat back down, she leaned over and said "well done" and went back to her movie.  No judgement, no big deal...helped a lot!  

[Kif]

12 minutes ago, DLJeff52 said:

Thanks for sharing KIF!  That's a great "That moment when..."  One moment that contributed on my journey was when I was flying a couple months ago.  I had to change and was getting a diaper out of my backpack to take to the bathroom.  I was trying my best to be discrete, but middle seat made that somewhat tricky.  The lady who got up to allow me out saw the diaper and quietly whispered..."good luck changing in there!" as I walked by!  She said it in a way not to draw attention and with more of an empathetic tone.  When I got back and had sat back down, she leaned over and said "well done" and went back to her movie.  No judgement, no big deal...helped a lot!  

Haha! Okay that's a heck of a moment. I'd have been blushing so friggin hard! 

But good on her for not making a big deal out of it beyond that. I guess maybe she felt the need to reassure you or something? Either way, yeah, making no judgement and no big deal out of it I'm sure helped tonnes with fear of wearing out-and-about like that ❤️

[Enthusi]

So, so, so many good memories to chose from! 

Here are three that come to mind: 

1. About 2 years into my journey:   One day I arrived at work and I closed my car door and immediately realized I locked my keys in my car.  As I stood there in disbelief, pondering if I should call security for a courtesy unlock now, or wait until the end of my shift, I suddenly felt my bladder give out and my diaper fill up.  I think it was so memorable besides diapers and incontinence were the last thing on my mind, and yet my bladder didn’t care.   

2. Last year (about 4 years into my journey) I saw a urologist after i told a primary care doctor I’m incontinent, even though I said I wasn’t concerned or looking for treatment.  Anyways during the urology appointment, for the male exam portion, the doctor asked me to untape my diaper.  The doc then put some towels under me and proceeded with the exam.  He clearly didn’t trust me to not pee on him when he examined me. And the crazy thing was that I was low key relieved he did that so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally peeing on the doctor.  Very validating indeed!

3. About  6-12 months ago (4.5 years into my journey):  The first time I accidentally peed myself during a diaper change.  Enough said.  

I have other stories if anyone is interested. ?

[oznl]

Despite remaining persistently daytime-continent (well fairly continent, I think, subject to terms and conditions, YMMV, yada, yada, yada), there have been a number of physiological “progressions” that have occurred.

Even though I’ve assiduously documented these on my blog as probable data points pointing towards developing dependency, there was always in the back of my mind a counterpoint narrative.  I could always think of some reason that this was not an “accident” but rather some kind of lapse in attention or memory, or perhaps even a physiological misunderstanding between my brain and body.

The thing that looms largest on the “Oh my god!  What have I done?” stakes was wetting the bed.

There’d been an abundance of evidence intermittently appearing in my night nappies for months suggesting that some bedwetting action was emerging.  I blogged all of it but again, the counterpoint narrative in my brain told me that I was probably awake, aware that I was suitably clad for peeing and simply forgot about the decision the next morning.

It was only when I at last got the opportunity of skipping my night nappy and testing myself that evidence appeared that I could not walk back.  Wetting unprotected pyjamas, sheets and blankets is not something I enjoy or wish to do in the dead of a cold night.  Sleep for me is hard enough as it is.  I was quite confident that my subconscious was on board with this.

I can remember therefore, in high resolution colour, waking up in the middle of the night to find myself laying in an abundantly wet bed.

My first reflexive thought was NOT “Oh my god!  I’ve wet the bed!” but rather “Why is the bed all wet?”  That was my subconscious not having read the memo I guess.

Eventually, lights on, standing beside my bed at 2am, cold, wet pyjama pants stuck uncomfortably to my thighs, surveying a 2 foot diameter cool puddle where my bum was on the sheets that I ran out of excuses.   My initial disbelief turned to a curious alloy of horror and excitement at what I had done to myself.

It’s STILL echoed in miniature with every wet nappy I discover after going to bed dry.

[DLJeff52]

@Enthusi Thanks for your stories!  It paints a picture of the small moments that point to big changes!  Some are physical, some mental, some emotional.  Really think that all three are needed to achieve the untraining and appreciate your sharing!  I had my own experience with a urologist where they were "shocked" at how my bladder was only able to hold 75-100cc!  They offered me a diaper if I needed to change mine and that was just as validating!  

3 hours ago, oznl said:

Despite remaining persistently daytime-continent (well fairly continent, I think, subject to terms and conditions, YMMV, yada, yada, yada), there have been a number of physiological “progressions” that have occurred.

Even though I’ve assiduously documented these on my blog as probable data points pointing towards developing dependency, there was always in the back of my mind a counterpoint narrative.  I could always think of some reason that this was not an “accident” but rather some kind of lapse in attention or memory, or perhaps even a physiological misunderstanding between my brain and body.

The thing that looms largest on the “Oh my god!  What have I done?” stakes was wetting the bed.

There’d been an abundance of evidence intermittently appearing in my night nappies for months suggesting that some bedwetting action was emerging.  I blogged all of it but again, the counterpoint narrative in my brain told me that I was probably awake, aware that I was suitably clad for peeing and simply forgot about the decision the next morning.

It was only when I at last got the opportunity of skipping my night nappy and testing myself that evidence appeared that I could not walk back.  Wetting unprotected pyjamas, sheets and blankets is not something I enjoy or wish to do in the dead of a cold night.  Sleep for me is hard enough as it is.  I was quite confident that my subconscious was on board with this.

I can remember therefore, in high resolution colour, waking up in the middle of the night to find myself laying in an abundantly wet bed.

My first reflexive thought was NOT “Oh my god!  I’ve wet the bed!” but rather “Why is the bed all wet?”  That was my subconscious not having read the memo I guess.

Eventually, lights on, standing beside my bed at 2am, cold, wet pyjama pants stuck uncomfortably to my thighs, surveying a 2 foot diameter cool puddle where my bum was on the sheets that I ran out of excuses.   My initial disbelief turned to a curious alloy of horror and excitement at what I had done to myself.

It’s STILL echoed in miniature with every wet nappy I discover after going to bed dry.

@oznl First you are a very gifted writer....even this short excerpt draws the reader deeply in!  Thank you for sharing!  Just today, I had my first time in a long time where I again woke up to a full diaper and am 100% confident I did not stir while sleeping.  I can't wait for the day that I'm able to try the same experiment you did!  I can just imagine wanting to call someone at 2am if everything was wet, but almost have to chuckle at the joy I'd be expecting someone to share with me over a wet bed!  But reading your story, I TOTALLY GET IT!  Thank you so much for sharing all that you do!

[DiapergirlWB]

So when I am diaper I never hold.  I had a stint of 18 days last summer.  around 4 or 5 days in I messed myself in the morning and decided to shower to get cleaned up.  I got undressed in teh bedroom and put my diaper in the trash to take out after.  Well another wave hit me and I scurried to get to the bathroom without holding.  I ended up messing  on the bathroom floor.  It was then when I began to realize what the difference between always using diapers and needing to use diapers would be.  I remained undeterred.

 

[DLJeff52]

11 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

So when I am diaper I never hold.  I had a stint of 18 days last summer.  around 4 or 5 days in I messed myself in the morning and decided to shower to get cleaned up.  I got undressed in teh bedroom and put my diaper in the trash to take out after.  Well another wave hit me and I scurried to get to the bathroom without holding.  I ended up messing  on the bathroom floor.  It was then when I began to realize what the difference between always using diapers and needing to use diapers would be.  I remained undeterred.

 

Wow!! What an incredible moment!! I can imagine myself in the bathroom with revelations pinging around in my mind!  Your last line is the best..."I remained undeterred."  Perfect mantra!  Awesome stuff!  

[Kawaharu]

I can tell you this coming from someone who's incontinent that this is normal for those who are already incontinent and kept in diapers. I know I can easily go in my diapers and not think about it until it leaks. The only time I ever have to use the bathroom is to do a diaper change. Since I don't think or have any awareness, I just go in my diapers all the time not worry about it.

[Little Cub Pants]

11 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

I can tell you this coming from someone who's incontinent that this is normal for those who are already incontinent and kept in diapers. I know I can easily go in my diapers and not think about it until it leaks. The only time I ever have to use the bathroom is to do a diaper change. Since I don't think or have any awareness, I just go in my diapers all the time not worry about it.

Do you ALSO do that when you make doo-doos in your diaper?!??? Or just pee-pees?!??????????????♥️?♥️?????????♥️?

[Kawaharu]

5 minutes ago, BabyJeggySpideyBoy said:

Do you ALSO do that when you make doo-doos in your diaper?!??? Or just pee-pees?!??????????????♥️?♥️?????????♥️?

Both because I am incontinent.

[Little Cub Pants]

4 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

Both because I am incontinent.

Do you like NOT knowing when you make an doo-doo In your Diapee?!???????????????????????????

[Kawaharu]

4 minutes ago, BabyJeggySpideyBoy said:

Do you like NOT knowing when you make an doo-doo In your Diapee?!???????????????????????????

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't but I always know when I am leaking 

[Little Cub Pants]

6 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't but I always know when I am leaking 

Why DON'T you like it ALWAYS buddy?! I WOULD!???????????????♥️?♥️??????♥️?

[Kawaharu]

7 minutes ago, BabyJeggySpideyBoy said:

Why DON'T you like it ALWAYS buddy?! I WOULD!???????????????♥️?♥️??????♥️?

I'm always busy and on the move. So I don't think much

[Little Cub Pants]

34 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

I'm always busy and on the move. So I don't think much

Just like a REAL BABY!!!!? BETTER get some of those Pampers 360 fit!??????????♥️??????? LOL!???????

[~Brian~]

36 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

I'm always busy and on the move. So I don't think much

@BabyJeggySpideyBoy

Yeah, @Kawaharu is always moving, if she is working for FEDEX   I wouldn't be surprised if a Northshore order went through for me that she may have seen *grin*

 

[Kawaharu]

3 minutes ago, BabyJeggySpideyBoy said:

Just like a REAL BABY!!!!? BETTER get some of those Pampers 360 fit!??????????♥️??????? LOL!???????

Yeap and being an adult baby means I don't have to worry about leaks or poops. I just keep going. I don't worry unless I am leaking or if I fart and I know a poop is coming.

5 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

@BabyJeggySpideyBoy

Yeah, @Kawaharu is always moving, if she is working for FEDEX   I wouldn't be surprised if a Northshore order went through for me that she may have seen *grin*

 

That's why you'll never catch me wearing a pull up because I would be forced to use the potty. A diaper is much better for me than wearing pull ups

[DLJeff52]

@Kawaharu I hope you are feeling better...bronchitis is no bueno!  I'm interested in the moment you first tried or pursued being in diapers or AB....I really love hearing those decisive moments as they can encourage so many.  Feel free to share, but rest up and get better!

[Kawaharu]

7 minutes ago, DLJeff52 said:

@Kawaharu I hope you are feeling better...bronchitis is no bueno!  I'm interested in the moment you first tried or pursued being in diapers or AB....I really love hearing those decisive moments as they can encourage so many.  Feel free to share, but rest up and get better!

Well for me was when I got diagnosed as being incontinent and got thrown back into diapers. Since then, being kept in diapers permanently, I've been an adult baby as a way to help cope and deal with being Incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. Now I am kept in diapers for most of my adulthood, being an adult baby let's me deal with being incontinent in my own way.

[DLJeff52]

4 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

Well for me was when I got diagnosed as being incontinent and got thrown back into diapers. Since then, being kept in diapers permanently, I've been an adult baby as a way to help cope and deal with being Incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. Now I am kept in diapers for most of my adulthood, being an adult baby let's me deal with being incontinent in my own way.

Wow...thank you so much for sharing...so glad you can find comfort through a situation that was put on you.  Thank you so much...get better fast!

[Kawaharu]

4 minutes ago, DLJeff52 said:

Wow...thank you so much for sharing...so glad you can find comfort through a situation that was put on you.  Thank you so much...get better fast!

Being and adult baby, lets me cope and deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. It's why being kept in diapers, I can deal with the adult world in my own way and as for my adulthood, I don't normally see myself as a normal adult because of my diaper status. That's cause being kept in diapers, I don't have an adulthood and instead have any adult babyhood.

[DiapergirlWB]

3 hours ago, DLJeff52 said:

Wow!! What an incredible moment!! I can imagine myself in the bathroom with revelations pinging around in my mind!  Your last line is the best..."I remained undeterred."  Perfect mantra!  Awesome stuff!  

Thanks at the time I was going for full time forever but life reared it's ugly head and foiled me so the determination makes more sense in that setting.

[DLJeff52]

7 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

Thanks at the time I was going for full time forever but life reared it's ugly head and foiled me so the determination makes more sense in that setting.

That silly real life always trying to foil the greatest plans of ABs and DLs!! Hang in there!