Leaking due to wetting more than I realized. Exciting because it’s a huge milestone. Also scary as Hell. (Updated)

[Enthusi]

I posted something about this on Reddit ABDL a few days ago but this might be of interest to the folks here.  

Long story short I’ve been actively unpotty training for over 4 years now.  For the most part I can still pretty much tell when I’m wetting. But the wettings are getting harder to feel and they are getting progressively smaller amounts and more frequent. I almost always feel a little wet. All of this is to say that it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep track of how much I’ve wet over any given period of time.  

For the past few months I’ve noticed a huge increase in frequency of leaks, and it occurred to me that I must be wetting more than I realize, and indeed that seems to be the case.  

Honestly it’s a total mind-screw for me.  First and foremost I realized I can no longer wear diapers the way most casual ABDLs do, which is how I’ve done it for decades.  You have a sense of your diaper’s capacity and how wet you are and when the wetness nears capacity, you change.   However that doesn’t work when you aren’t totally sure how wet you are.   Instead I’m teaching myself to time diaper changes and stick to a schedule. Even if a diaper isn’t near capacity, I will change anyways because I don’t want to get busy and spring another leak. 

It’s just that it’s…. sooooo weird not being able to trust my own memory to guesstimate how wet I am.  Instead I am relying on a timer and external cues such as feel and look of the diaper to tell me when it’s time to change.   It’s even weirder when I consider that ever since I’ve switched to timed diaper changes, my leaks have gone way down. What’s more, I’m a little bit relieved that I no longer have to mentally track how much I’ve wet. In hindsight it was getting a bit hard for me to do that, and clearly I wasn’t doing a good job at it! 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy with my decision. If anything I feel more emboldened by my progress.  But talk about a vulnerable feeling!  

I’d love to hear from others, especially though here who lost trust in their ability to accurately predict when they need a change.  
 

[oznl]

Around 2.5 years in for making zero effort at using potty training…

One of the recurrent themes I’ve noticed with changes as they have occurred is that by the time I have clued in to them, they’ve generally been going on for some time.

The classic case was my reversion to bedwetting (which has been the first regression to appear, flying in the face of accepted wisdom on this obscure topic).  By the time I’d definitively proved that bedwetting was a thing, I connected dots and realized that I’d most likely been a bed wetter for quite some time but had done a great job at rationalizing away the mounting evidence.

By now, it’s absolutely normal for me to wake up with NO idea at all how wet I am.  I have to have a rummage around down there to make the call as to whether I should change immediately or if I can get away with some breakfast first.  There are at best circumstantial clues: if I was drinking the night before, odds on I will be VERY wet and should change immediately.  If I had a high-salt take-away dinner the night before, I’ll more than likely be only slightly wet and can marinate a while longer.

During daytime, I continue with a pattern of high frequency/low volume episodes of peeing.  Perhaps a few drops or a dribble every 10 minutes or so.  As far as I know, these are occurring with at least my tacit permission but it’s impossible to maintain a mental tally of them.  My changing time is governed by the time of my evening shower which may be modulated forward a little if there is any hint of imminent leaks (cool spots at the rear legging elastics on my plastic pants are the usual harbinger).

The caveat around my daytime continence is that it’s built on similar rationalizations to those my night time “continence” (or as it turned out, lack thereof) rested upon.

It’s entirely possible that at some point I will have some moment of epiphany and realise that I’m wetting myself during the day without meaning to also.  Stand by for this week’s blog update where such a hint occurred…

[Enthusi]

Update: 

Okay I’ve managed to get my leaks under control with timed checks diaper changes.  But now I’m going through diapers like crazy!  I know it’s because I’m not using them to capacity like I used to.  Though that ship has sailed.  
 

  Tips?  I’ve been using cheaper less absorbent diapers when I’m at home and can change frequently.   Otherwise I suppose it’s goes with the territory! ? 

[CodHero24]

38 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

  Tips?  I’ve been using cheaper less absorbent diapers when I’m at home and can change frequently.   Otherwise I suppose it’s goes with the territory! ?

Try adding an extra Hour inbetween changes.

[Enthusi]

12 minutes ago, CodHero24 said:

Try adding an extra Hour inbetween changes.

Yeah there’s a definite sweet spot that I haven’t hit yet.

 

This was much easier when I could better predict how much I will wet over the next few hours.  
 

 

[~Brian~]

@Enthusi

My Suggestion:  GaryWear Incontinence Underwear.  These go over your diaper, and provide protection against leaks:  That means that you can use the diaper more if you have good ones.  I would suggest going with a size BIGGER than the diaper you wear, so its big enough to expand, and cover your diaper complely. and so that the pants are snug around the leg holes.  IF you have a BM or a wee, then HOPEFULLY it will contain the mess or leaks INSIDE.

This does NOT mean that you won't leak, but that way, you are less likely to have wet pants, or to have the POOP come out the top, which will keep your trousers clean.

Brian

[Enthusi]

37 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

@Enthusi

My Suggestion:  GaryWear Incontinence Underwear.  These go over your diaper, and provide protection against leaks:  That means that you can use the diaper more if you have good ones.  I would suggest going with a size BIGGER than the diaper you wear, so its big enough to expand, and cover your diaper complely. and so that the pants are snug around the leg holes.  IF you have a BM or a wee, then HOPEFULLY it will contain the mess or leaks INSIDE.

This does NOT mean that you won't leak, but that way, you are less likely to have wet pants, or to have the POOP come out the top, which will keep your trousers clean.

Brian

Thanks!  I will check them out. As long as they don’t add too much bulk.  I’ve been hesitant to use plastic pants up til now.  I haven’t really needed them.   

Though come to think of it maybe the extra bulk would be worth it, especially as I “re-learn” how wear diapers as an incontinent person. 

[Diapered Dave]

You might try a booster pad inside your disposable diaper.  There are also insert pads that don't act like a typical booster pad, but rather they help the urine "wick" to the rear of the diaper, which gets you more use out of each diaper. I've also heard of people putting a few sheets of a high absorbancy paper towel down the middle of the disposable diaper, to get this wicking effect to help disperse the urine more evenly thru out the diaper.

To cut down on overall diaper usage, you could use cloth diapers and plastic pants at home and for bedtime.  

[oznl]

3 hours ago, Enthusi said:

  Tips?  I’ve been using cheaper less absorbent diapers when I’m at home and can change frequently.   Otherwise I suppose it’s goes with the territory! ? 

For me, I use just two high capacity diapers per day.  Early on I was running a 3 diaper-per-day plan but I realised that 2 better diapers was slightly cheaper and similarly reliable.

I've pretty much used time change intervals out of the gate.  It would be very rare that an out-of-time change occurs and more likely be a proactive change to navigate around limited changing opportunities later on in the day.

I doubt that acquired IC is changing the quantity that you are peeing, more likely just inhibiting your ability to manage around diapers that are close to, or at capacity.

To this end, +1 on Gary plastic pants during the day.  Usually one day in three, they will save me from some fairly minor leak towards the end of my diaper's shift and they don't contribute to bulk (they are fractions of a millimeter thick).  I also routinely use a compression pant over the top to reduce visual bulk and more importantly, make sure my diaper is where it needs to be on my anatomy as I'm mobile and things can otherwise shift around.

The short of it: I build in some insurance policies to allow my diaper to remain usable for longer rather than use more diapers.

There are *some* physiological and ambient scenarios I have noticed that will simply result in wetter diapers (drinking more, cooler weather, a cold or flu) but ultimately, output is derived from input.  If your pee volume (and associated thirst) HAS gone up substantially though, get that checked out.  There are common medical conditions that do this (google "polyuria").  All things being equal though, I'd expect you'd be experiencing "frequency" instead with limited holding capacity.

 

[Enthusi]

45 minutes ago, oznl said:

I doubt that acquired IC is changing the quantity that you are peeing, more likely just inhibiting your ability to manage around diapers that are close to, or at capacity

Exactly!   I don’t think the quantity went up.  It’s just that its getting harder to predict when I will next wet and how much. Up until recently I would flood my diaper every few hours (as most ABDLs do).   This made it easy to plan around other events in my routine. There was a lot of wiggle room to make the next diaper change to coincide with my routine.  I could easily hold off changing by an hour or two as long as I didn’t expect to flood and spring leak. And as a last resort if I was worried a flood would cause a leak I could do things like stand up, or slow down the stream. 
 

Nowadays, ever since my control has been in free fall, I don’t know when I’m going to wet or how much. And it happens so fast and without me fully being aware.   
 

I’m gonna try a slimmer diaper in combo with plastic pants.  

[oznl]

2 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

Up until recently I would flood my diaper every few hours (as most ABDLs do).   This made it easy to plan around other events in my routine.

I guess I might not be "everybody" but this certainly isn't the case from me.  In "diaper mode" (which I've been in for around 2.5 years now) these days, I tend to pee little, often, and with very low flow rates (which can sometimes create the illusion that I'm peeing more than I really am lately).  I'm usually a tiny bit damp within 10 to 20 minutes of changing and that progresses across the day.

It would be fairly unusual for me to "flood".  Sometimes, if I'm highly engaged with something or uncomfortable, I might inadvertently hang on for maybe half an hour or even an hour.

I've also noticed that the relative pee volumes over time do fluctuate across the day though.  I have "wet" and "dry" times but in all circumstances, I would not "flood".  Sometimes it seems I might have "very wet" times where I'm dribbling nearly constantly and it seems uncomfortable to try and stop.  Wetter times that occur closer to my scheduled change are the ones most likely to cause me to cash in on my plastic pant insurance.  Other insurance claims derive from bedwetting events (unmanaged) or underestimating how wet my night nappy is and sitting in it for a while the next morning.

[Enthusi]

@oznl sounds like we are on the  same trajectory.  I’ve been actively untraining for 4 years or so but it’s only been recently that it’s spiraled.  And with my switching to timed checks and diaper changes, I’ve quickly losing what remaining control I had. 

My experience is eerily similar to yours.   I still get flash urges to go.  My bladder will feel empty then bam! And I feel a simultaneous urge and release. I suspect these are what people refer to as spasms? Also  I seem to dribble a bit.  Also  A lot of times I have no urge to go and then I stand up and 10 seconds later I feel the urge to go and I can’t stop it.   I have zero control at night as well. 
 

Are you still enjoying your experience?  

[oznl]

18 hours ago, Enthusi said:

Are you still enjoying your experience?  

To be honest, there have been some occasions recently that have had me wondering about what I might be doing to myself.  A few times I've realised that I'm a bit "trapped" in my nappies.  This has been where I've been out with others in close quarters, a bit close to leaking and although a bit continent still, not confident that attempting to hold things would not simply make for worse problems later on.  It occurred to me that I'd rather not be in them at that particular point but I needed them.

There's also the night thing.  At some point my beloved is going to work out that I'm genuinely a bedwetter now and she will go ballistic ?

Having said that, I'm responding to this in a fairly soggy night nappy the next morning, delaying changing because I'm perfectly comfortable this way...

[sparklezBear]

1 hour ago, oznl said:

To be honest, there have been some occasions recently that have had me wondering about what I might be doing to myself.  A few times I've realised that I'm a bit "trapped" in my nappies.  This has been where I've been out with others in close quarters, a bit close to leaking and although a bit continent still, not confident that attempting to hold things would not simply make for worse problems later on.  It occurred to me that I'd rather not be in them at that particular point but I needed them.

I really like your frank honesty @oznl. Yet your 24/7 journey continues to seem odd to me in a couple of ways. Before I get into it, please forgive my very simplistic and almost incoherent summation ?. 

You entered 24/7 from desire, identifying as a diaper lover. Early on in your travels and writings, I perceived this almost as a test to see how long you could do 24/7. I remember how you spoke about there being no end-date, as if this might be something you may with to stop in time as with shorter 24/7 stints earlier. The months rolled by, and you spoke about your challenges and triumphs, while still holding the course. At the same time, I got the impression that the door back to a continent life was wedged open. It's this optional out that seems to be that I find interesting and different. You are in nappies 24/7, for now. Where as, I identify as a permanent 24/7 nappy wearer. There's also no end-date, and I've left no out given the way I've outed myself to my doctor and all of my friends. Incontinence will be on my medical record soon too. Sure, I could try to stop 24/7 (I won't), but I cannot take back the knowledge and changes I've shared or made with others.

It's also been an interesting read in recent times as you've discovered that you are now a bed-wetter, realising that it's not merely a choice, that there's some genuine need for nappies. I've commented previously how there seemed to be some remorse to your discovery. I perceive this same sentiment now echoed in the way you say that you're a bit trapped. In my case, bed-wetting has been met with joy, as will the loss of daytime incontinence. Sure, there are times when I'm feeling a little trapped, such as the first time I leaked badly at work before the end of my shift. But I'd never prefer not to be in nappies. I simply manage the situation as best I can, and in the worst case, I'm happy to explain to others why there's a wet patch running down my leg, with I need to wear continence aids (not that I've had to do this yet).

From your writings, to me, it feels as though you didn't accept the full spectrum of possibilities when you started 24/7. As a result, currently and as you noted a couple of months ago, you appear to be conflicted. I know you still experience a benefit to wearing nappies, noting your comment "delaying changing because I'm perfectly comfortable this way...". This begs the question, where to from here? If I may be so blunt, and apologies in advance for being confronting, if you continue a life in nappies 24/7, you will probably develop further nappy dependence. At the same time, stopping is likely to be a long road with pot-holes along the way.

Regardless of my ramblings @oznl, you have been an inspiration and demonstrated to me that 24/7 is very possible. For that, I thank you eternally. 

[oznl]

9 minutes ago, sparklezBear said:

I really like your frank honesty @oznl.

I'm glad you have been able to differentiate my selective diffidence about all of this as an attempt at honesty rather than inconsistency.  I've tried very hard to portray as accurate a reflection of this journey as I can, warts and all.  It's a chronicle, not a novel ?   There is no plot and I don't know what the ending looks like, happy or otherwise.

I don't think that I'm imminently about to fall off the nappy wagon so to speak but it's true that the (very eventual) emergence of genuine dependencies is food for thought.

12 minutes ago, sparklezBear said:

Regardless of my ramblings @oznl, you have been an inspiration and demonstrated to me that 24/7 is very possible. For that, I thank you eternally. 

I'm glad you could salvage something from all of this!  One of the strangest things has been the number of other penguins who have derived some learnings from watching the this penguin leap off the edge of the ice pack.

I don't want to hijack @Enthusi's thread but my plan is to comment on this "diffidence" in more detail on my own DD blog.

[Enthusi]

2 hours ago, oznl said:

I don't want to hijack @Enthusi's thread but my plan is to comment on this "diffidence" in more detail on my own DD blog.

I didn’t think you were hijacking the thread at all. ?

 

In fact in a way all the good vibes you’re sending is helping me out.   It probably goes that these new developments in my level incontinence have done a lot on me emotionally.   Its been a desire for so long and I feel I’m close to or even at goal.  So that’s great. But it’s turning out to be quite different than I imagined.  I’m loving it and have no desire to go back, but it’s different.