My level of incontinence

[spark]

I recently watched an ABDL video where the creator discussed her level of incontinence, and it made me think about mine.

I've basically been wearing diapers 24/7 since Covid,  I was wearing most of the time before that and have been for the last 5 years.    I've never really actively attempted to lose any control by sticking to a program for long enough make diapers a necessity.  Instead, I just wear diapers and use them as necessary, and I rarely mess my diapers.

What I've noticed is that my control over my bowels is getting weaker.   I typically have my BMs in the morning, and frequently poop right after getting out of bed.   What I've noticed is that by the time I walk down the hall to the bathroom, I'm pretty much committed to letting.   Since I don't like to mess my diapers, I have to actively clinch to prevent a mess.   And that's without being conditioned to using my diaper for poop. 

I've have an interesting development with my bladder.   Prior to going to diapers, I had exceptional bladder control.  I was very much master of my own bladder, and could easily pee on demand, stop midstream, and typically peed with a strong steady stream.  Even when I started using diapers on regular basis, I could regulate my usage to the extent that I could make my diapers last as long as I needed.   I've noticed that I'm so conditioned to using my diaper now that I'm not able to prevent voiding in my diaper when I'm standing.

My doctor ordered a urine test in the past, and I've always been able to fill the beaker without too much difficulty.   This time it took a bit to get the stream started, the stream was weak, and it was shy of the line.    I also can't stop my stream once I start.   

Over the weekend I went skiing, and stayed at my dad's house.  That' one of the places that I don't wear 24/7, and I wasn't diapered between dinner and bed on Friday night.   I didn't have any accident, but wore out a path to the toilet.   I've also noticed that my I'm no longer able to regulate my diaper usage.   I typically can get about six hours out of a good ABDL diaper.   In the past, I could extend that by going to the toilet when I felt my diaper get close to the limit.   

[square_duck]

I watched that video also, and since you didn't post the link, here it is....or at least the one I think you are referring to: Paige is a doll....fun to watch and also a LOT smarter than many people think...plus she is also very brave to do what she does..... ?

 

[spark]

That was the one

[oznl]

The thing I’ve noticed in never practicing my urinary continence over a couple of years is that there isn’t much feedback as to what might be happening to my continence whilst I'm in a nappy (which as 24/7, is all the time).  Changes in continence are glimpsed only upon rare occasions that I might try to employ it (by trying to defer or perhaps pause urination) or by slowly realising that what I thought might have been isolated or freak events (such as sleep wetting) have been both increasing in frequency but decreasing in noticeability due to developing ubiquity.  During the day I'm noticing an increasing dislocation between how wet I think I am and how wet I actually am.  There are times that I've lost insight into my nappy usage.

I have realised that in addition to creeping bedwetting, I have urgency to the extent that many life tasks really need to be carried out in nappies for practical reasons.  Whilst I'm technically continent, it may not be possible or practical to reach a bathroom every 90 minutes.

I suspect that these are patterned behaviours that could, with some effort, be reversed.

[Little Sherri]

14 hours ago, oznl said:

I have realised that in addition to creeping bedwetting, I have urgency to the extent that many life tasks really need to be carried out in nappies for practical reasons.  Whilst I'm technically continent, it may not be possible or practical to reach a bathroom every 90 minutes.

I suspect that these are patterned behaviours that could, with some effort, be reversed.

I'm following a bit behind @oznl on more or less the same path, and my observations concur with what he says. If I found myself facing a theoretical situation where I was fairly sure I couldn't access a bathroom within about 60 - 75 minutes, I would pretty much have to wear a diaper. Discomfort would set in earlier than that - probably by 45 minutes. Not that it would be an issue in practice, because, I'm always wearing one. But that's not the same as the plight of someone who may dribble uncontrollably at any time. 

I'm curious, actually, for any of you out there who lack or have lost all bladder control - do "events" come in surges or is it more of a constant dripping? I've read some reports from people who catheterized themselves and left it to drain in a diaper, and apparently that is pretty much an unending stream. I also wonder how much kidney output responds to systemic backpressure - if there is no pressure at all in the bladder, does kidney output tend to increase? Or is it irrelevant? 

[spark]

9 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I'm following a bit behind @oznl on more or less the same path, and my observations concur with what he says. If I found myself facing a theoretical situation where I was fairly sure I couldn't access a bathroom within about 60 - 75 minutes, I would pretty much have to wear a diaper. Discomfort would set in earlier than that - probably by 45 minutes. Not that it would be an issue in practice, because, I'm always wearing one. But that's not the same as the plight of someone who may dribble uncontrollably at any time. 

I'm definitely behind @oznl.    I'm almost positive that I wouldn't wet myself if I didn't have a diaper on, and didn't intend to wet myself.   But I'm also positive that I would have significant discomfort, and I had that issue before I was 24/7. 

If I flew on an airplane without a diaper, I would need to go almost as soon as the opportunity was gone.   I put the diaper, and I can relieve that urge at will,, and I don't have the urge   In 2019 I flew from Oakland to Paris to Oslo in the same diaper.   I had a few small voids in the diaper on both flights, used the toilet a couple of times, and it was still roughly in tack when I finally got to hotel in Oslo nearly 18 hours.   I'm not sure if I could do that now.  Assuming my diaper was dry when I boarded, I could easily make to Paris, but then would need to change at the airport.   I probably wouldn't choose to change on an airplane.

I'm not sure if I'll ever get to the unconscious sleep wetting, but making I do it in my REM sleep.   Mind you, I had exceptional bladder control, and I'm not a very deep sleeper.   In most cases, I had a slight wake cycle at around 5am, and without much thinking- I void in my diaper and stay in bed.  But I'm fully aware, and I don't believe I would do it without a diaper.  I'm not 100% certain because I'm no longer sleeping without protection.   I'm also not certain if my diaper is already at least slightly wet because I've wet during a REM cycle.

For me, it's not a constant dribble.    It's a series of periodic random voids that might be between 25 to 50 ml (1/8 or 1/4 cup).    This typically starts almost as soon as I put a fresh diaper and I might go 2 hours without one, of do a couple in 1/2 hour period.

[oznl]

4 hours ago, spark said:

I'm definitely behind @oznl.    I'm almost positive that I wouldn't wet myself if I didn't have a diaper on, and didn't intend to wet myself.   But I'm also positive that I would have significant discomfort, and I had that issue before I was 24/7.

There is something like quantum indeterminacy at play in all of this though.  An effort to measure continence can of itself, change the result.  If we are routinely testing continence, we are in fact practicing continence which will reinforce it.  In the indeterminate stage in which we find ourselves by NOT practicing, we find ourselves relying upon rationalisation: terms like "almost positive" and "didn't intend" abound (this is NOT a dig, I do this too ? )  In the absence of evidence, what we THINK is just our brains filling in the blanks for us.

I find myself inferring where I am based on indirect evidence.  For example, I've noticed that it's been a LONG time since I can remember having a substantial wetting event (more than a dribble) during the night or, waking up with a full bladder, but it's not like my morning nappy is any drier now.

[Enthusi]

I love reading these updates!! ??

My advice? Keep at it.  Keep at it. Keep at it.  If this is what you truly want then keep at it.  
 

We all progress (regress?) at different rates.  I’ve been wearing diapers for years, and full 24/7 for 3 years, but recently my bladder control has been in free fall.  A year ago I would’ve said I’m continent and can go without a diaper if I had to. Nowadays I truly can’t.  Sometimes I only have minutes to seconds of warning before my bladder goes from empty to bursting to peeing uncontrollably.  And I wet small amounts so frequently it would be impractical to go anywhere without a diaper. 
 

In my personal experience, I would go long stretches with frustratingly little progress before making huge strides.  Usually it was after I worked through some subconscious barrier through hypnosis or personal reflection.  (I wrote a discussion topic the other day about the four pillars of unpotty training documenting my most recent breakthrough).  I realize everyone’s experience is different. But I do think for a lot of us we need to address those hidden forms of resistance to unpotty training that linger in our subconscious. 
 

Anywho, keep up the good work! Don’t give up!