All My Mother's Rules (Ch. 70 & Epilogue - 2/13/24)

[spark]

2 hours ago, CDfm said:

Wonderful new chapter.  I just see things continuing to get harder and harder for Sarah.  I don’t see how she can continue to hide this problem from her mom.  In doing so she is only making things worse on herself by continuing the deception.  I have a pretty strong suspicion that mom is going to discover what she has been doing and like has been pointed out many times during the story,  it’s much better if mom finds out from her first.  She will probably be disciplined but it will be worse if she continues to try and hide it. I believe her mom loved her and will do everything she can to help her and protect her. 
I will be looking forward to reading more. 

I believe mom would punish her because it makes mom look bad.  Mom also doesn't trust medicine, which is why Sarah hasn't let mom know

[GQLF]

Sarah has not even considered medical issues until now. After Emilia completed her toilet training, Lisa is also moving towards breaking away from diapers, while Sarah herself is still stuck in place. This clearly cannot be a problem with the training methods. When everyone around her is moving forward, and only Sarah's efforts are fruitless, coupled with her deteriorating financial environment, the problems caused by all of this have reached a critical point and will soon erupt comprehensively.

 

The plot of Chapter 53 develops rapidly, and Lisa's rapid progress and Sarah's deepening predicament have been explained clearly. Perhaps within two chapters, Sarah will face further crises. And judging from the situation of the people around her, her strict mother, ignorant sister, and three friends who were completely unaware of her own situation.

 

Until now, Sarah has never truly revealed her true situation to anyone she can trust, and she has also numbed herself with lies, which has led everything to move in the worst direction. Unfortunately, this seemingly normal life filled with continuous lies and concealments cannot ultimately achieve the result Sarah wants. Her rebellion against the rules was problematic from the beginning, and now this situation is a complete dead end for Sarah who is deeply trapped in it.

[GQLF]

Even if Sarah truly realizes the difference between her bladder and others, she will still assume the direction with the least cost, because it means seeing a doctor, and seeing a doctor means being unable to hide from her mother. Until now, Sarah still succumbs to her mother's discipline, believing that avoiding her mother's discipline takes priority over thinking about her own physical condition.

 

Throughout the story, her perspective on problem-solving is always "how to hide" rather than "how to solve it." Whether it's Emilia's previous toilet training, Lisa's overnight stay at home, or the current toilet training challenge with Lisa, her starting point has never changed. Sarah always puts herself at the center of her thoughts and does not trust anyone around her, at most only with limited trust, because she believes that other people's help to her may also come into contact with her mother.

 

And once her mother appears in her thoughts, this thought will be directly abandoned. Sarah herself has trapped herself in a dead end of lies and concealment, and the plot of the situation collapsing should happen soon.

 

Sarah tried to conceal her situation to the greatest extent possible and tried to solve the problem unilaterally. She had already tried this three times, but without exception, it was a failure. The plot has progressed to this point, and there is no need for any further groundwork. I can't wait to see the final outbreak of these events.

[MinnesotaWriter]

17 hours ago, CDfm said:

Wonderful new chapter.  I just see things continuing to get harder and harder for Sarah.  I don’t see how she can continue to hide this problem from her mom.  In doing so she is only making things worse on herself by continuing the deception.  I have a pretty strong suspicion that mom is going to discover what she has been doing and like has been pointed out many times during the story,  it’s much better if mom finds out from her first.  She will probably be disciplined but it will be worse if she continues to try and hide it. I believe her mom loved her and will do everything she can to help her and protect her. 
I will be looking forward to reading more. 

I think that is a pretty generous description of the mom.

16 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Sometime over Christmas break everything will fall apart.

Hey! No spoilers allowed. But seriously, we've got 10-12 chapters remaining, so it's fair to say that things are going to be getting really interesting, really soon. Lots of good stuff is coming later this month. I think the story will finish mid-January at the latest.

15 hours ago, spark said:

I believe mom would punish her because it makes mom look bad.  Mom also doesn't trust medicine, which is why Sarah hasn't let mom know

That would be on par for the mom's behavior so far.

13 hours ago, GQLF said:

Sarah has not even considered medical issues until now. After Emilia completed her toilet training, Lisa is also moving towards breaking away from diapers, while Sarah herself is still stuck in place. This clearly cannot be a problem with the training methods. When everyone around her is moving forward, and only Sarah's efforts are fruitless, coupled with her deteriorating financial environment, the problems caused by all of this have reached a critical point and will soon erupt comprehensively.

 

The plot of Chapter 53 develops rapidly, and Lisa's rapid progress and Sarah's deepening predicament have been explained clearly. Perhaps within two chapters, Sarah will face further crises. And judging from the situation of the people around her, her strict mother, ignorant sister, and three friends who were completely unaware of her own situation.

 

Until now, Sarah has never truly revealed her true situation to anyone she can trust, and she has also numbed herself with lies, which has led everything to move in the worst direction. Unfortunately, this seemingly normal life filled with continuous lies and concealments cannot ultimately achieve the result Sarah wants. Her rebellion against the rules was problematic from the beginning, and now this situation is a complete dead end for Sarah who is deeply trapped in it.

Yep, she's been digging her own grave and hasn't stopped yet.

13 hours ago, GQLF said:

Even if Sarah truly realizes the difference between her bladder and others, she will still assume the direction with the least cost, because it means seeing a doctor, and seeing a doctor means being unable to hide from her mother. Until now, Sarah still succumbs to her mother's discipline, believing that avoiding her mother's discipline takes priority over thinking about her own physical condition.

 

Throughout the story, her perspective on problem-solving is always "how to hide" rather than "how to solve it." Whether it's Emilia's previous toilet training, Lisa's overnight stay at home, or the current toilet training challenge with Lisa, her starting point has never changed. Sarah always puts herself at the center of her thoughts and does not trust anyone around her, at most only with limited trust, because she believes that other people's help to her may also come into contact with her mother.

 

And once her mother appears in her thoughts, this thought will be directly abandoned. Sarah herself has trapped herself in a dead end of lies and concealment, and the plot of the situation collapsing should happen soon.

 

Sarah tried to conceal her situation to the greatest extent possible and tried to solve the problem unilaterally. She had already tried this three times, but without exception, it was a failure. The plot has progressed to this point, and there is no need for any further groundwork. I can't wait to see the final outbreak of these events.

The story has gone on a lot longer than I initially intended it to do. I haven't done a recent word count since each chapter is in a separate Word document, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's passed 200,000 already. That's a lot of groundwork leading up to the final act, but I think it is going to pay off. 

[MinnesotaWriter]

Chapter 54: None of Your Business

The argument resumed in hushed tones the second we closed the door to Samantha's bedroom.

Samantha's parents and younger siblings were all downstairs, but the topic was sensitive enough that all four of us knew better than to raise our voices, even in the privacy of Samantha's bedroom.

"I don't see why you are insisting on keeping your bladder issues a secret," Lisa said to me. "I'm not saying you need to be going around in a pull-up. But better to have it mentioned beforehand so you don't have to sneak around trying to change or dispose of your pull-ups."

When we had been planning the get-together, I had been insistent that Samantha hold off on telling her mom about any of my bladder issues. My friends all thought that it was best to let her know, just in case of any leaks and to make it so I didn't have to sneak around to deal with any changes.

Lisa's problems weren't a secret to Samantha's family. I didn't know how that had happened, whether Lisa had mentioned that issue to Samantha's mom or Samantha herself had let it slip, but either way, her secret at least was out.

I was trying to find any excuse I could think of that they would go along with to prevent the same from happening to me. Our moms did chat occasionally, and this was just the thing that couldn't ever come up in a conversation between them.

"It's not that I don't trust your mom, Samantha. Your younger brother is too much of a blabbermouth to keep any kind of secret."

"He wouldn't do it," Samantha said, in defense of her nine-year-old brother, Tommy. "Besides, who would he tell anyway?"

"Doesn't Tommy still wear pull-ups for wetting the bed?" Desi asked. "Not like he'd want to be tattling on someone with a similar condition."

I glanced over at Samantha to gauge her reaction. I was the only one of her friends who was secretly aware that she was responsible for her younger brother's bedwetting.

"Oh, not anymore," Samantha said casually. "He outgrew it a month back. Don't think he's worn a pull-up to bed for at least a couple of weeks."

At least Samantha had given up on tormenting her brother now that Lisa was her go-between for getting diapers.

"You do know that you don't need to be ashamed about your condition," Lisa said to me.

"It's not that," I said. "It's just, like, it isn't anyone else's business what type of underwear I have on. Can we just agree to keep this on a need-to-know basis?"

"Fine," Lisa said. "But if it does come out, you're on your own for needing to explain it."

We had initially retreated to Samantha's bedroom to escape from her annoying younger brother. Samantha's dad was taking Tommy out bowling in about ten minutes, which would leave us with a lot more privacy to do what we wanted while Samantha's mom looked after three-year-old Lilian.

Since it wasn't a school day, I was back to my normal outfit of jeans and a jacket, which perfectly obscured the new pull-up I was wearing beneath.

Mom had taken Emilia out to get a haircut this morning. I had taken the opportunity of being left home alone to bike over to a pharmacy to purchase some additional pull-ups. I grabbed one package of the peach-colored ones that I had grown to like over the past month. I noticed the same brand also had a design that came in black that was advertised as being low-rise. That sounded intriguing, so I purchased a package of those as well.

These low-rise pull-ups had the same soft feel as the peach ones, but, unlike the peach-colored ones, they managed to stay below the top of my jeans. I would need to test out their absorbency over the next couple of weeks, but when school started again after Christmas break, these might be my go-to if I ever got back to wearing jeans to school instead of dresses.

After coming home from school yesterday, I took off the extra pull-up Lisa had given me in the restroom and tucked it away in my pull-up stash, exchanging it for one of my normal ones. I wasn't sure when I would need that extra-absorbent pull-up, but better to save it for later when there might be an actual need for it.

I didn't have any ability to purchase those online. Lisa had mentioned that you couldn't get those types of brands in person. What I was curious about was seeing how that type of pull-up would do overnight. If it was good enough to avoid leaks, perhaps I could convince Mom to purchase those instead of the diapers she was using for my bedwetting.

"Let's get this emptied while we are in here," Lisa said, heaving a full backpack onto Samantha's bed. "This is a lot to haul around."

Lisa unzipped the backpack, pulling out a half-dozen brightly colored diapers.

"You're the best," Samantha said, giving Lisa a hug.

Samantha handed Lisa an Amazon gift card that looked a lot like the one I had sold to her right after Thanksgiving.

"You sure you don't want to try one on now?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, I don't want to be stuck up here all afternoon, and those are way too crinkly to be wearing around my parents. Besides, I think I've gotten pretty good at putting them on myself."

---

Samantha's bedroom window faced the front lawn. Once we saw that Tommy and her dad were on their way out, we made on own way back downstairs.

"It's a shame it's too cold to use the pool," Desi said as we got down to the main floor. "Would be nice to go for a swim."

"Are you sure that would be a good idea?" Samantha asked. I could make a good guess as to what she was thinking with how she looked at Lisa and me.

"I mean, I assume they make swim diapers for adults, right?" Desi said. "Sorry, no offense intended with that."

"None taken. I'd need a lifejacket more than I'd need a swim diaper," Lisa said. "I've never learned how to swim before."

Samantha's mom was thankfully far enough away to not catch wind of what we were talking about. I could hear her playing with Lilian from far off in the basement.

"You've never been swimming before?" Samantha asked.

"No, the closest I've come to being in the water was getting my feet wet while building a sandcastle at a beach. My parents... well, that's a story for another time."

I knew the story that Lisa was referring to. But that wasn't something that Samantha and Desi were privy to, and they both knew better than to press Lisa on things that had occurred prior to her moving in with her aunt and uncle.

It was time to change the subject.

"How about we get a movie on before dinner?" I suggested.

We settled on a rather cliché action flick, but boring proved to be better as I was able to pay attention to my bladder, getting up twice during the movie to make a quick trip to the bathroom. Lisa had used the restroom right before the nearly two-hour-long movie started and was able to wait until the movie was over to go and use the toilet. She didn't mention anything about having an accident, and I trusted that she would have if one had happened.

Samantha's dad and brother brought back Chinese takeout for a late dinner after their bowling outing. No one said anything when Lisa abruptly left the table and rushed off to the bathroom in the middle of dinner. Tommy watched her exit curiously but didn't say anything either. That left me wondering if he might take after his older sister in some ways.

We were allowed to have the basement to ourselves after dinner. While there was also a TV in the basement that we could stream a show with, we instead opted for more old-fashioned entertainment.

We began with a very unapologetic game of Sorry, followed by a complicated version of Uno that had reversible cards. That second game was interrupted by a ten-minute-long debate on house rules and whether the "Draw 4" cards could be stacked.

I lost that debate and was left as the unfortunate recipient of drawing twenty-four cards. I now had more than three dozen in my hand and a lot of ways to get revenge on Lisa and Desi. I hadn't decided whether I wanted to have Desi skip her turn or draw an additional two cards.

As I decided which card to play down for Desi, the front of my pull-up began to get warm. I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, so there was little I could do to immediately stop the stream of urine. Even with a toilet just around the corner, running off to it would do me no good. I'd be finished peeing by the time that I got there.

The worst part of it was that I hadn't even had the slightest forewarning from my bladder this time. Most times, an accident would at least be preceded by an urgent alert from my bladder that going to the toilet soon would be in my best interest, but these silent accidents, as infrequent as they occurred, were incredibly annoying.

If Lisa, who had been incontinent her entire life, could regain bladder control, why wasn't the process working for me? I'd only been dealing with this problem since shortly after the start of the school year.

"Are you doing OK?" Desi asked. I guessed that I hadn't been able to keep my annoyance about the accident off my face.

"Nothing." I decided instead to play the only "Draw 4" card I had in my hand. I slapped it down angrily on the card pile, knocking over the draw pile adjacent to it.

"Jesus, chill out," Samantha said, as she reached to clean up the mess I'd made.

"What else is going on?" Lisa asked. "You can talk to us about it."

"I told you. I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Lisa said. "You've been lashing out at us the whole week. What's going on?"

"The only thing that is going on is I'm fucking tired of pissing myself every day. And you have it so easy with getting better while I'm stuck like this."

Lisa scooted over to me, her arms stretching out to give me a hug, but I got up from the floor and stepped away from her.

"I need to go change," I muttered and went upstairs to where I had left my backpack in Samantha's bedroom.

I angrily ripped off the wet pull-up and dropped it on the floor. I cleaned myself off with a small packet of baby wipes I had brought with me before getting into a dry pull-up.

I listened for the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs but didn't hear anything. I wondered what they were saying about me in the basement.

I had taken some plastic baggies from the kitchen at home when I had packed to come to Samantha's place. I wasn't going to be leaving any evidence of my pull-ups at her house. I triple-bagged the pull-up and wet wipes and placed them in my backpack, hoping that would be enough to keep the smell down until I had a chance to dispose of it discreetly back at home.

I brought the backpack downstairs with me. Mom was due to pick me up fairly soon. I just wanted to go home. I plopped down on a couch near the front door, not bothering to go back downstairs to resume the game of Uno.

It was a few more minutes before Lisa came looking for me, followed shortly by Samantha and Desi.

I pulled my feet off the floor and onto the couch, where I sat curled up and looking out the window, not bothering to look in their direction.

"Is your mom coming over soon?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, she should be here in another ten minutes."

"I could give her some info about the doctors I've seen and such. Maybe it would be easier to understand if she heard it from me instead."

I nodded. Lying like that felt better than actually saying something untrue. I had no intention of letting Lisa have a conversation with my mom anytime soon.

My response to her question was enough for everyone to leave me alone as I sulked on the couch for the next few minutes.

I was keeping a close watch on the window through the corner of my eye. When I saw Mom's car begin to pull up the driveway, I saw my chance to make a break for it.

I dashed out the door without even bothering to say goodbye.

 

[AdultInnocence]

And down the hill she goes! She is going to hit the bottom of it hard.

 

[Shotgun Diplomat]

That is some stubborn foolishness. Coming clean (pun intended) is really the only course of action she has at this point to properly address the issues. Not that I have any faith in her mothers ability to handle it with any grace or skill, thus far she has come across as mildly unhinged. 

[nadine_enough]

It's been a while since I caught up with this story. Thank you as always for sharing it!

Not sure if anyone else is feeling this way, and my own opinion may even change on the next reread, but right now I'm feeling like Lisa seriously needs to back off. Especially since the sleepover, she has kinda been trying to dictate how Sarah handles her condition. Sure, Sarah's not been doing a great job at it herself, but I don't know, I think Lisa's pushiness is not helping as much as she wants and is just frustrating Sarah.

[Night Rain]

Sarah should just come clean in the car ride home and confess. To everything that has been happening as of late.

[spark]

27 minutes ago, nadine_enough said:

It's been a while since I caught up with this story. Thank you as always for sharing it!

Not sure if anyone else is feeling this way, and my own opinion may even change on the next reread, but right now I'm feeling like Lisa seriously needs to back off. Especially since the sleepover, she has kinda been trying to dictate how Sarah handles her condition. Sure, Sarah's not been doing a great job at it herself, but I don't know, I think Lisa's pushiness is not helping as much as she wants and is just frustrating Sarah.

That's an interesting take, and you could be right.  Based on the last few episodes, I can see your point. However, I think there is a lot of complexity in this case.  FTR- based on the entire narrative (including Diapers Never Lie), Lisa is a character who was neglected and never seen as a leader.  My guess is that Sarah is straight-A student, cheerleader, and relatively well-respected with her teachers and the school.  But now, Lisa is the alpha in the group.  She is not used to be the alpha, and even the ones who get kudos aren't great at it at that age.

4 hours ago, Shotgun Diplomat said:

That is some stubborn foolishness. 

That's not uncommon among youth, especially 9th grade girls.  It's hard to explain, but I work with this age group.  All 9th graders are confused, especially in their first semester.   It's a big transition, and there is a huge difference between 14 and 16 years old.   FTR- it's 17 for boys.    FTR- these actions for a 15-year-old girl.  From my standpoint, they will tell me exactly what they think I want to hear, rather than what is going on.  A 15-year-old boy will tell me what is going on, but they don't do anything about

The ironic thing is that Lisa has a direct experience with emotional abuse due to incontinence from a parent, and there is a record of that abuse.  If Sarah tells Lisa, Lisa might tell her uncle.  I think she would based on her experience.  The uncle has to report that to CPS, and the character would.  I would also share that with the counselor, and he probably would as well (maybe not, because he's a GE teacher

[GQLF]

Sarah feels that she can conceal and handle all her problems, which has led her into paranoia. She believes that the understanding of her problems by those around her can make things worse. She tries her best to conceal her differences from others, but she has never truly faced the problem. Even if Lisa recommends a doctor to her, she will not use it as a solution to the problem, but rather as a means of evading it, because as long as she insists that "the doctor cannot detect my problem," there will be no outcome to this matter.

[AdultInnocence]

I agree that Sarah needs to come clean, but not to her mom. Her best course of action would be to tell Lisa, which was said then Lisa would tell her uncle. At this point it is not something she can take care of herself. If she comes clean to her mom, her mom will come unglued, and Sarah will probably be on the receiving end of more abuse. The fact she has had to hide this from her mom so far with how her mom has treated it in the past, plus how her mom was with her when setting up the tree, sets the narrative that her sister is more the golden child and Sarah is getting the brunt end of it all.

[spark]

11 hours ago, AdultInnocence said:

I agree that Sarah needs to come clean, but not to her mom. Her best course of action would be to tell Lisa, which was said then Lisa would tell her uncle. At this point it is not something she can take care of herself. If she comes clean to her mom, her mom will come unglued, and Sarah will probably be on the receiving end of more abuse. The fact she has had to hide this from her mom so far with how her mom has treated it in the past, plus how her mom was with her when setting up the tree, sets the narrative that her sister is more the golden child and Sarah is getting the brunt end of it all.

The story's timeline means this has been going on for 3 months.  I believe with a test that Sarah fail (or did bad), and her she was spanked by her mom.  It's now Christmas Break, and Sarah just had multiple accidents in Pull-ups during the day.  This is some serious incontinence issues, and Sarah needs to be seen by a doctor.  However, her mom is such a controlling b*t*h that she is treating Sarah like her 3-year-old with potty issues, rather than realizing "Hey, my 14-year-old former bedwetting daughter has had multiple accidents since starting HS.  Maybe- I should talk to a doctor."  FTR- the practical thing was for mom to do that back in October, but instead she chose to keep Sarah from school and treat her like a three-year-old the whole day.

 

[Allman90]

Given my experiences with doctors, I wouldn't trust them to find the problem. I don't think her mother has had those experiences. She seems more like the type that just doesn't trust them in the first place.

Let's just say if they end up going to the same doctors I did for a similar injury (thankfully without the incontinence symptoms) they'll end up spending several thousand dollars for multiple different doctors and specialists to just say "drink more water and get some sleep". And if that happens it will only justify everything the mother probably already thinks about doctors. 

 

Let's hope someone can grant some insight into the root of her problem without also making the rest of the situation worse. 

 

Given Sarah's experience, there's no logical reason for her to come clean anyone about anything. Other kids have already proven to be merciless, other adults have proven to be unhelpful. And her mother is the last person she can confide in, even though she should be the first. Even Lisa is being kinda pushy even though she should be the most understanding about the situation. 

 

 

[nadine_enough]

26 minutes ago, Allman90 said:

Given Sarah's experience, there's no logical reason for her to come clean anyone about anything. Other kids have already proven to be merciless, other adults have proven to be unhelpful. And her mother is the last person she can confide in, even though she should be the first. Even Lisa is being kinda pushy even though she should be the most understanding about the situation. 

Fully agree! She's watching her friends treat her issues like a fun game (Samantha), seeing multiple people around her overcome her issues with ease (Lisa, whose advice is steadily being percieved both as less helpful and less wanted, and more powerfully Emilia, who at the start of the story was basically a baby), having her teachers basically be unintentionally unsupportive of her issues with restrictive restroom policies in the classroom, and being punished and literally silenced with a pacifier by her mom for even having the issues in the first place.

From her perspective, "coming clean" is simply not an option for Sarah; she believes no avenue exists for her to actually do that. It's not coming from a position of stubbornness, rather it's informed by the abuse and trauma she's experienced from nearly every direction, except possibly Desi.

[spark]

9 hours ago, nadine_enough said:

Fully agree! She's watching her friends treat her issues like a fun game (Samantha), seeing multiple people around her overcome her issues with ease (Lisa, whose advice is steadily being percieved both as less helpful and less wanted, and more powerfully Emilia, who at the start of the story was basically a baby), having her teachers basically be unintentionally unsupportive of her issues with restrictive restroom policies in the classroom, and being punished and literally silenced with a pacifier by her mom for even having the issues in the first place.

From her perspective, "coming clean" is simply not an option for Sarah; she believes no avenue exists for her to actually do that. It's not coming from a position of stubbornness, rather it's informed by the abuse and trauma she's experienced from nearly every direction, except possibly Desi.

You have to remember that Sarah was the one who suggested that everybody wear Pull-ups to the sleepover, which was to hide her problem and keep the focus on Lisa.  Lisa was the only one who knew and is trying to help Sarah potty traini herself. 

The biggest advantage of letting an adult know is that the mom is treating the wetting issues like it's potty training regression, which is also how Lisa and Sara see it.  As a result, Mom is reverting to the same failed method that she used with Emilia.  That method is abusive to a three-year-old, and it is emotionally abusive to Sarah.  BTW- Sarah participated in treating Emilia like a baby before these issues.  I would call Sarah parentified at the beginning of the story.  A doctor might be able to treat the overactive bladder. and an adult at school would have to report the abuse to CPS.  Sarah can't hide this forever, and if it blows up- Sarah's treatment will only be worse.

 

[nadine_enough]

14 minutes ago, spark said:

Sarah can't hide this forever, and if it blows up- Sarah's treatment will only be worse.

I don't disagree that Sarah is heading in a bad direction with her condition that may soon end in catastrophe, or even that her changing course and telling an adult is a good idea and will ultimately help her.

I'm arguing that Sarah won't ever do that, at least as things are right now. There are no adults she trusts to help her, and based on her behavior at the end of this chapter, she doesn't really trust her friends to help her either. Whether it's fair or not, or whether she is trapped in a cycle of abuse, or whether anyone is a mandated reporter, none of that is relevant to Sarah because she is a child who believes no one in her life actually understands her situation. And from our third-person perspective as readers, I think she'd be right to feel that way.

[spark]

55 minutes ago, nadine_enough said:

I don't disagree that Sarah is heading in a bad direction with her condition that may soon end in catastrophe, or even that her changing course and telling an adult is a good idea and will ultimately help her.

I'm arguing that Sarah won't ever do that, at least as things are right now. There are no adults she trusts to help her, and based on her behavior at the end of this chapter, she doesn't really trust her friends to help her either. Whether it's fair or not, or whether she is trapped in a cycle of abuse, or whether anyone is a mandated reporter, none of that is relevant to Sarah because she is a child who believes no one in her life actually understands her situation. And from our third-person perspective as readers, I think she'd be right to feel that way.

I agree.  She will not willingly give this up.  FTR- that would be true with almost anybody, even without the abuse

[MinnesotaWriter]

Appreciate all the theories/speculation. Not going to respond to all those comments directly, other than to say that we're getting really close to getting answers to a lot of those things.

On 12/13/2023 at 2:29 PM, AdultInnocence said:

And down the hill she goes! She is going to hit the bottom of it hard.

 

She better hope that her bottom is padded when that happens.

On 12/13/2023 at 6:01 PM, Shotgun Diplomat said:

That is some stubborn foolishness. Coming clean (pun intended) is really the only course of action she has at this point to properly address the issues. Not that I have any faith in her mothers ability to handle it with any grace or skill, thus far she has come across as mildly unhinged. 

The question then would be: who should she come clean to?

On 12/13/2023 at 10:02 PM, nadine_enough said:

It's been a while since I caught up with this story. Thank you as always for sharing it!

Not sure if anyone else is feeling this way, and my own opinion may even change on the next reread, but right now I'm feeling like Lisa seriously needs to back off. Especially since the sleepover, she has kinda been trying to dictate how Sarah handles her condition. Sure, Sarah's not been doing a great job at it herself, but I don't know, I think Lisa's pushiness is not helping as much as she wants and is just frustrating Sarah.

Thanks, glad you could get caught up.

I would note that at the end of the sleepover, that it was Sarah who asked Lisa directly for help with toilet training.

On 12/13/2023 at 11:14 PM, Night Rain said:

Sarah should just come clean in the car ride home and confess. To everything that has been happening as of late.

I think it's hard to see her making that choice, given everything she's done since her accidents began is precisely to avoid having that conversation.

On 12/14/2023 at 9:05 AM, GQLF said:

Sarah feels that she can conceal and handle all her problems, which has led her into paranoia. She believes that the understanding of her problems by those around her can make things worse. She tries her best to conceal her differences from others, but she has never truly faced the problem. Even if Lisa recommends a doctor to her, she will not use it as a solution to the problem, but rather as a means of evading it, because as long as she insists that "the doctor cannot detect my problem," there will be no outcome to this matter.

I don't Sarah is opposed to going to a doctor, it's just that she can't see one without her mom knowing (and then having her mom know about the accidents and how she had lied to cover them up).

On 12/14/2023 at 10:28 AM, AdultInnocence said:

I agree that Sarah needs to come clean, but not to her mom. Her best course of action would be to tell Lisa, which was said then Lisa would tell her uncle. At this point it is not something she can take care of herself. If she comes clean to her mom, her mom will come unglued, and Sarah will probably be on the receiving end of more abuse. The fact she has had to hide this from her mom so far with how her mom has treated it in the past, plus how her mom was with her when setting up the tree, sets the narrative that her sister is more the golden child and Sarah is getting the brunt end of it all.

Lisa has provided Sarah some really direct opportunities to come clean, and each time Sarah has only revealed the bare minimum or refused to say anything at all.

[flowerdaddy22]

Just been getting caught up on the last four chapters, NGL it's sad so see Sarah dig her own grave like that. I agree with people here that she sees hiding everything as the only viable solution. I really wish she'd confide in her friends though, Lisa should be able to realize that Sarah is being abused given her own background. Though that would require Sarah to properly explain why exactly she doesn't want her mom to know about these issues, without dishing out more lies. I'm also pretty sure Sarah herself doesn't realize her mother's abusing her, which is bound to make it slightly less obvious to an outsider due to the innocuous way she's going to phrase things if she actually were to talk about it. 

And then there's the entire "but she's still your mom" kinda thing many people have going on, which will get in the way of any action being taken and things reported. Screw the mandated reporters everyone here is talking about, in reality people much prefer to bury their head in the sand - which is tragic to say the least. 

This story is strikingly true-to-life (well, except maybe for three out of the four friends _coincidentally_ having some connection to diapers;) , and that's what I really like about it. Can't wait to see how things escalate from here, just hope Sarah is ultimately rescued from that fucked up narcissist calling herself a 'mom'. 

[spark]

11 hours ago, flowerdaddy22 said:

This story is strikingly true-to-life (well, except maybe for three out of the four friends _coincidentally_ having some connection to diapers;) , and that's what I really like about it. Can't wait to see how things escalate from here, just hope Sarah is ultimately rescued from that fucked up narcissist calling herself a 'mom'. 

I think that's what I like about this story.  The mom is the most realistic narcissist 'caregiver' I've read in an ABDL story.  There are usually two types of caregivers in ABDL literature.  There are the supportive and caring, but still dominant,   there is also the sadistic caregiver who is employing regression and control for sadistic pleasure.  This is neither.  The mom is doing what she believes is right, and she would find other ways to control her daughter if incontinence wasn't the issue.

[flowerdaddy22]

10 hours ago, spark said:

I think that's what I like about this story.  The mom is the most realistic narcissist 'caregiver' I've read in an ABDL story.  There are usually two types of caregivers in ABDL literature.  There are the supportive and caring, but still dominant,   there is also the sadistic caregiver who is employing regression and control for sadistic pleasure.  This is neither.  The mom is doing what she believes is right, and she would find other ways to control her daughter if incontinence wasn't the issue.

Exactly! Usually sadistic characters are kind of portraied as "cruel on purpose", but true narcissists are convinced they're doing the right/best or even kind thing while casually tormenting others. They somehow feed their self-esteem by controlling and gaslighting others subconsciously. 

[MinnesotaWriter]

Chapter 55: Receipts

My phone buzzed multiple times with messages from my friends as I sat down in the car. I flicked the notifications away with my thumb and turned my phone on mute.

I just couldn't deal with this right now.

If Mom noticed that I was in a sour mood, she didn't say anything to me about it. I fiddled with my phone as we made the ten-minute drive home in silence. The only noise was Emilia babbling to herself in the car carrier in the backseat.

Why did all my friends have to be so freaking nosy? It all started with Lisa. What was her deal anyway? Spying on other students to try and find someone who also wore pull-ups until she came across me. Of course, now her condition was magically getting better, leaving me as the odd one out.

And why did everyone have to care so much about what I was wearing under my pants? All three of my friends had been checking on my toilet training status practically every day for the past month. And now Lisa wanted to talk directly with Mom about my issues. Why couldn't anyone respect my privacy?

I couldn't find any satisfactory way to explain to my friends that they needed to keep my mom out of this. And the longer my incontinence persisted, the more chances there would be for all my carefully planned deceptions to be revealed to Mom.

I opened my phone one last time and muted all of my friends' numbers. They weren't going to be able to help me now. I was going to need to deal with potty training on my own for the next two weeks.

I grabbed the keys from Mom and unlocked the door to the house while she got Emilia out of her car seat. I left the front door ajar and raced inside to my bedroom. I needed some time alone, which I hopefully would get until it was time to put Emilia down for bed.

I sat at my computer desk and turned on Fortnite, I manually set my status to away, in case Lisa were to log in again once she got home. I didn't need her to try and message me.

I hadn't looked at my phone since getting in the car to leave Samantha's place. I didn't even want to guess how many messages were probably on there.

But the video game didn't prove to be the distraction that I needed. I had maybe an hour or so before it was time for Emilia to get ready for bed and that is when the gaming would need to stop.

I had finally gotten used to the new mouse I'd purchased a month back, but even finishing third out of a hundred players didn't make me feel any better. I clicked the button to start one final round before calling it a night when Mom called out to me from the living room.

"Sarah, you come here right now," she yelled.

It wasn't Mom's request that worried me the most, but her tone. I couldn't recall the last time that she had sounded so angry with me.

As I stepped from my bedroom into the hallway, I was racking my brain to try and figure out what I possibly could have done wrong to deserve that type of response from Mom. I couldn't imagine that I had failed any recent assignments at school. The only grade that was even slightly in question was the history test, but there wasn't any way that had been graded and posted online already.

There had been that extra diaper I had taken on Black Friday, but that had been a month ago already. There wasn't any way she had noticed that the number of diapers in the closet was off by just one.

Maybe I hadn't done anything wrong after all. Maybe there had just been some sort of misunderstanding. Or maybe there was some urgent task that she needed my assistance with.

I turned the corner to where I could see Mom standing in the living room from where I was in the hallway. Mom was staring at me from the other end of the hallway. One of her hands was raised up, holding a thin slip of paper.

"What the hell is this about?" Mom demanded.

It took me a moment before I recognized what she was holding. That was the receipt from the pull-ups I had purchased earlier today.

I was in so much fucking trouble.

"Here. Right now." With her free hand, Mom pointed at a spot on the carpet directly in front of her.

Compliance with Mom's directions was ingrained in me in such a way that despite my terror I began to walk toward her. My mind was completely blank as to any excuses I could come up with to save face.

Each step felt heavier than the last. Eventually, I stepped from the hallway into the living room, where Mom was standing with the receipt. I stood a couple feet in front of her, my eyes fixed on the floor.

"Look at me."

I couldn't. I didn't need a mirror to know I had a guilty look written all over my face.

"Look at me."

I raised my head an inch but then lowered it again. It felt as though my brain had turned to mush. None of my thoughts were making any sense.

"Look at me." This time Mom enforced her request, placing a hand beneath my chin and lifting my head up until I was looking directly at her.

Mom didn't blink once as I looked at her. Her eyes were narrowed as she stared down at me with pursed lips.

"Explain this." Mom shoved the receipt in my face. I could make out the two lines indicating the only items I had purchased at the store this morning. The two packages of pull-ups were now hidden away in my bedroom.

Of all the questions in Mom's interrogatory playbook, there wasn't a more dangerous question.

A chance to talk my way out of a punishment was just as likely to result in me talking myself into more of one.

I shook my head back and forth, not with any intention of actually wanting to defy Mom and risk her wrath. I just couldn't get any words to come out of my mouth. And even if I had managed to speak, I wasn't sure what exactly I would have said.

"Answer me!"

I said something. But it wasn't anything intelligible. Just a garbled string of words in a run-on sentence.

"You tell me right now what this is about. Why the hell are you buying pull-ups."

I tried to turn away. I didn't know where I could possibly go to get away from Mom. But that proved useless. Mom pinched my ear with her fingers, the pain freezing me in place. I couldn't move. Any attempt to try and get away at this point was only going to hurt even more.

Mom led me to the couch, my ear still firmly in her group. And, in a non-unfamiliar motion, she sat down on the couch pushing on my back in a way that had me laying across her lap with one hand on my back holding me in place.

That I was going to be getting a spanking was a given. I think I knew that the moment I heard the tone of Mom's voice as she called me into the living room. The only question was how much further the punishment would go beyond that.

Mom placed her hand firmly on my bottom. This was different than the time she had smacked my bottom while setting up the Christmas tree. Her hand lingered on my jeans, pressing firmly as it slid across my bottom. The denim was not enough to disguise what lay underneath.

That Mom was checking for a pull-up wasn't much of a surprise. That seemed to be a reasonable conclusion for her to draw after coming across that receipt.

But Mom rarely spanked anything other than a bare bottom.

She wiggled her hand under my waist, undoing the single button and zipper that held my jeans in place. Pulling my pants down from this position wasn't easy, but she managed to do it.

"What the hell, Sarah."

With my jeans pulled down, Mom pressed her hand against my pull-up. I felt it squish against my bottom. Wet. Of course, I hadn't even noticed that I'd pissed myself.

Mom tugged the back of the pull-up off of my bottom. And then the spanking began.

Even though it was with her bare hand, the spanking hurt more than any I had ever received. Mom was striking my bottom as hard as she could, despite how that must be stinging her own palm.

I had never been spanked this hard in my life before. My bottom felt as if it was burning. Tears streamed down my face as I squirmed and cried, unable to escape her grasp.

"You. Will. Ex. Plain. Your. Self. To. Me." Mom said as the spanking concluded with a solid swat to my bottom serving to emphasize each syllable.

Staying silent didn't matter anymore. Mom already knew enough to decide my punishment. My fate had been sealed the moment that receipt must have slipped out of my pocket unnoticed and landed on the floor.

I told her how I had taken my sister's pull-ups to hide my accidents, how I wore those to school until Emilia was potty trained. I told her how after that I would go to the store to purchase pull-ups for myself.

Saying it all out loud for the first time made the whole thing seem so much worse. I wasn't just telling the truth to Mom. I was telling the truth to myself. I was lying to myself if I thought I was anywhere close to being toilet trained.

I didn't deserve to wear big girl underwear. If the last week of school was any indication of where things stood, I didn't even deserve to wear pull-ups either, not when I was pissing myself multiple times a day.

I did limit the truth to myself. I didn't out Lisa or Samantha, as angry as I had been with them. I couldn't risk Mom viewing either of them as co-conspirators. And, in Samantha's case, I had no desire for Mom to associate me with Samantha's desire to be a baby. The last thing I needed was for Mom to think that I wanted any of this.

Mom remained silent for a minute after my explanation ended.

That didn't matter. I already knew what was going to happen next. There were almost a hundred diapers in the closet with my name on them. I suspected I would be going through them a lot faster than in three months.

Mom's punishment for wetting myself twice in a day was spending the following day in pull-ups. What was she going to do with the knowledge that I had secretly wet myself dozens and dozens of times over the past couple of months?

I turned my head to look at Mom. She was massaging the hand she used to spank me with her free hand. I felt a small amount of schadenfreude over how her hand must be feeling, though it couldn't come close to how my bottom was still aching.

"You are going to show me where these pull-ups are," Mom said, breaking the silence at last as she tugged the pull-up over my waist again and helped lift me off her lap and onto my feet.

Mom kept a firm grip on my wrist as we walked back to the bedroom. I had been keeping the pull-ups in my gym bag, which I no longer needed since I had gotten kicked off of the cheerleading team.

Mom eyed the pull-ups in the bag, comparing them with the brand names listed on the receipt. She also grabbed the single extra-absorbent pull-up Lisa had given me the other day, but thankfully didn't ask me how I had acquired it.

My pull-up got warmer again as I watched Mom dump the contents of the bag onto the floor, making sure nothing was missed.

"Is there anything else?"

"No."

"This is your last chance to come clean. It's going to be worse for you if I find anything else you've been hiding."

"That's all Mom. Really. That's all of it."

Mom tossed a towel on the bed and motioned for me to lie down on it. I wondered if the changing pad was also gone, or if that was just packed away and Mom didn't want to deal with grabbing it now.

I sat down on the bed without removing my wet pull-up. I hoped that it would provide enough cushioning to protect my bruised bottom, but it wasn't enough.

My bottom hurt too much to lay still on the bed. I rolled over on my side as Mom grabbed a diaper from the closet.

The intensity of the spanking had taken away any desire to resist whatever discipline Mom decided on. The thought of what would happen next if I disobeyed her any further was enough to keep me complacent as Mom returned to stand in front of the bed and change me out of the pull-up into a diaper.

Then she grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet.

Like a new convict standing handcuffed in front of a judge, I stood ready to receive my sentence.

"You're grounded permanently. No phone. No video games. No TV. No Computer. No hanging out with your friends. No leaving the house unless it is with me."

I gulped. What exactly was I supposed to do then for two weeks of Christmas break.

"If you are going to keep pissing yourself like a baby, if you are going to lie and run around and do things behind my back if you aren't going to behave like a mature teenager then you're going to be treated like a baby until you can prove that to be that you're mature enough to handle your normal responsibilities."

"How long will that be?"

Mom glanced over her shoulder to the closet, where an open door revealed the stacks of white diapers sitting on the shelf.

"It will be as long as I decide it will be."

 

[BabySofia]

I'm really hoping her friends get worried and call for help for her. Lisa, at least I would hope, would see the signs of abuse. For a moment I hoped her mom would figure out the problem was bigger than her and she should see a doctor, but clearly the woman is out of her mind... 

I like my happy endings... I'm a bit worried this poor girl will never get even close to that.

[spark]

That was what I was afraid of but thought would happen.

I want to check on the timeline.  I believe Sarah is already on her winter break, which means there is no way for any of the girls to contact Sarah without her phone (teens are helpless w/o phones).  Sarah will be treated like a baby the entire break, and then the question will be how she will handle it when school returns.  School is important to Mom, but she has proven that she forgo school in the name of punishment.

My question is: what did Mom want from Sarah?   She punished Sarah for wetting like a baby and for lying to prevent her from being punished for wetting herself.    She said that Sarah wasn't behaving like a mature teenager, but in reality- Sarah was dealing with incontinence issues independently, which I think is better than I would expect from a 14-year-old.