What Is Your Level Of Commitment?

[fairfaxdl]

This post combines some topics from a number of other posts.

I’ve been in diaper 24/7 for over 2 weeks now. I don’t intend to ever go back. I’m not openly a DL in that my wife and others think I am incontinent due to being hospitalized in a workplace accident. (note, I am NOT profiting on my ‘condition’.)

I’ve always wanted to wear diapers but never was really committed to doing so. I would wear them during the day or when alone but only a few times when the wife knew. And even then I really didn’t use them right. I would trickle into them so they wouldn’t overflow and I wouldn’t wear them to bed.

But when I had to idea to just ‘go for it’ where I publicly just wet myself, I realized that the way to do it was to ‘be’ incontinent. To ALWAYS go when I had to no matter what and to NEVER try to control it.

I only pee in my diapers so that’s all I’m talking about. But the point is that no matter what, I pee when I have to and even when I don’t, I relax the muscles and let it happen if it does. I don’t force it, I don’t stop it. If the diaper I’m wearing may be almost full I really go, then I have to just keep on going even when it overflows. It doesn’t matter if I’m home or in the middle of the grocery store. If I leak then I have to deal with it as anyone who was incontinent would have to do.

I’ve even wet all over my wife’s leg once after I got out of the shower and was going into the bedroom to put on my diaper. I didn’t realize I had to go but as I was walking I did so I let it go and it got all over her leg and the floor. This isn’t a “story”, its an example of how to look at it when you are really committed. It doesn’t matter how many changes, leaks or whatever, you must maintain the proper level of commitment. Now I nearly always wear the proper diaper and leaks are rare. But they do still happen. I don’t get embarrassed and try to control it, I just deal with it.

Its actually quite fun to not have to ‘worry’ about it. I just tell myself that I can’t stop it and to let it flow.

For those who like this sort of thing, I’ve leaked in these places or situations:

- In my truck all over the seat from a poorly taped Molicare.

- On the sofa

- On the bed in the daytime and of course all over it at night from a torn overpant.

- In the hallway.

- In the grocery store.

- At the bank.

- In my in-laws new car on the new seat. (Car just over 1 year old.)

- Actually with a client. Luckily I was wearing dark jeans and I covered it up with a clipboard. But I didn’t stop myself at all!

- And others I have forgotten.

I’ve peed without a diaper on these times:

- When I decided to do this. In public in front of strangers.

- In shower.

- In the bathroom when washing hands.

- In the bedroom when getting dressed.

- On the wife in the hallway.

- On the sofa after having sex.

- In the bed room and bathroom. I was pleasuring my wife when I realized I had to go and was going to go any second. I didn’t stop it at all but I jumped up and ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel.

I really like not controlling when I pee. It seems so ‘right’ and I just enjoy it. I don’t even know if I’m a real diaper lover since its not the diapers I like but just peeing whenever and wherever I am at the time.

I’ve even told myself that I’ll let it happen even if the wife is about to go down on me. I hope I don’t get to test this but that is the level I want to be at.

Thanks for reading!

FairfaxDL

[DL Dave]

If that makes you happy, and your wife is willing to tollorate it.

Personaly, I'd like to get to that level, but plan on taking it a lot slower. Peeing on my wife would be bad, peeing my pants in public (on pourpous) would be bad since I'm in a relativly small town / city and it could hurt job prospects. Although I did leak at the movies last week and didn't realize it untill after the movie.

I don't think I need to advertize to the general public that I'm peeing my pants. 'casue realy do they want to know? most of them probably not. And ofcourse there is the whole santiary/smell isue. I realize urine is clean, but why would you want your furniture to smell like a pulic toilet? Not that I mean that as a slight to those who realy can't help it, it's not their falut, and I'm sure they don't like "acidents" when they happen. But I can see where your comming from with the whole commitment idea. I've had the same one, but then thought, it might be to hard on life in general and my marriage in particular. In the end what do I have to gain? So for now I'll take it slow. But it is nice being able to "go" whenever I feel the need.

[rusty pins]

I agree that if you want to go 24/7 in diapers, that's fine with you. On the other hand, if you do so, you really need to make sure you change when you need to and that you are diapered enough to prevent leaking. You may enjoy the wetting of your pants and leaks, but it's not right to inconvienience other people like your wife by wetting on the furniture or your inlaws by leaking on the seat of their 1 year old car. Babies leak because they are not changed in time by the parents. Real incontinent people don't leak because they take care to make sure they have the proper "protection" to prevent accidents and they change when they need to. I bet if asked, the majority of actual incontinent people here say they hardly ever leak and leave wet spots on furniture or car seats. I don't mean to dis you, but if you chose to wear diapers you need to take the responsability to make sure you are diapered properly and change often so you do not leak on other people's belongings. I'd hate to be at the 10pm show and sit in a peed in movie seat that you had just left from the early show because you leaked! Same goes for a restaraunt seat, cab seat, bus seat, etc.

[SS84onwards]

I tend to keep my desire to wear a nappy very controlled up the point of only allowing myself to wear one once or maybe twice a month. I'm content with my level of self-control, keeps my desire from becoming too dull.

[fairfaxdl]

It looks like I wasn’t clear in what I was trying to communicate.

Leaking isn’t the important point here. Everyone is correct; you should be properly prepared so that you don’t leak. It isn’t about showing off, its about being ‘true’ to your game.

What I’m trying to put forth is that if you really want to go for it to really do so and don’t hold back for any reason. Don’t be afraid to leak or embarrass yourself. All the incidents I have mentioned happened in my first 10 days when I was still leaning what it meant to be 24/7. Now even a small bit of moisture on my trousers is not acceptable.

Wetting the seat at theatre is not acceptable. If you are leaking like that, you should leave.

The point here is that if you really are trying to practice no-control, then you can’t pick and chose where and when. If you say; “ For the weekend, I’m going to 24/7.” That means for that weekend you have no control at all no matter what.

I’ve read about a lot of AB/DL who are “24/7” - but not at work. What does that mean?

Its ok to have limits if that is what you want to do. But you are going for complete lack of control, then there is only one what to look at it. And it sure is an eye-opener.

[DL Dave]

Although I did leak at the movies last week and didn't realize it untill after the movie.

Just incase anyone was worried, I didn't leak that much, just enough so you could see a wet spot on my jeans, and it was only on the front. My diaper had a small tear in the front, I'm guessing that's why it leaked. I didn't soak the seat or anything. As accident's go, it was pretty minor. Just a small wet spot by my zipper, that looked like what it was. I used to get them when I'd go drinking. I never seemed quite able to "get it all out" when I went. Every time I'd put him back in and zip up a very small amount would leak out. That's fine if your going once, but if I was drinking I'd be going every 20min. Those little drops add up to a noticable stain after awhile. (I don't drink anymore as I'm now a mormon)

[rusty pins]

Your point is taken and I'm glad that you do not tolerate any leaking now. If you do go back and read your original post that says:

For those who like this sort of thing, I

[froggy]

I just wear for fun. I am not looking for embarassment or to inconvenience others. I would not tolerate someone peeing on my furniture or in my car just to make a point that they could. Shame on you for abusing others in the name of your fun.

Froggy

[bobbyc]

Although Fairfaxdl in not incontinent, he is experiencing what someone might go through if they were to find themselves incontinent one day due to an accident or something of that sort. Making the adjustment to having no bladder control and learning how to keep their condition under control takes time. Learning how to diaper yourself, when to change, what diapers work and which ones don't takes a lot of trial and error.

I'm sure Fairfaxdl hasn't done any leaking on purpose but is instead learning what precautions he needs to take to keep from leaking. Many people don't gradually become incontinent but instead must go through the learning process that Fairfaxdl is going through.

So, Fairfaxdl, how is it going? Has your wife shown any frustration yet? Keep us posted.

[fairfaxdl]

Hi everyone,

Leaking is pretty much a thing of the past. Now is mostly a matter of controlling expenses. My rush order or Abena diapers costs about $2.25 per diaper when you factor in shipping. So I don’t want to just reach for them all the time.

Cloth diapers work very well. I have some Velcro and regular adult sized pre-fold flannel diapers of varying thicknesses. The cloth works great but man does wearing those plastic pants get old. And there is laundry every day now.

Cloth works but you are and feel wet ALL the time. Even if you don’t wet the diaper will quickly absorb sweat.

At night, I wear heavy cloth with plastic pants covered by sweatpants just incase there is a small leak. (the waistband of the plastic pants can pull down a bit.) At first the bulk was uncomfortable so much so that it caused problems in my knees. I’ve started to wear thinner diapers and if I wake in at 4 or 5 am, I change diapers. This is much more comfortable.

Basically, its seems like I’m peeing all the time. I know its just my imagination but I can really see a cause-and-effect from what I eat and/or drink.

At this point I really have to be alert to when I’ve peed last and what I’m wearing. I have a supply of good cotton diapers, Abena, and cheap Depends. The depends are the most comfortable but are only good for one moderate wetting. The Abena is great but I sweat in it and it is bulky. Coth works good but it is bulky and the plastic pants are annoying. Plus the cloth must be stored and laundered.

Keeping hygienic is getting to be an issue. Wipes alone don’t cut it. There are odor issues and I’m taking 2 showers a day. I use the utility room to store my supplies and change and it smells a little. I seal up the trash pretty well and the diaper bucket has a locking lid but still there is a slight odor.

The wife isn’t being negative at all and is rather supportive but I’ve notice some changes. The most obvious is that ALL sexual activity has come to a complete halt. Plus she is staying up latter and coming to bed after I’ve turned in for the night.

I did have a few moments of concern the other day. During the night I had a semi-erection which was rather unusual for me lately. Anyway, I awoke having to pee so as usually I just let it go –and it hurt like hell! I really, really had to go so the stream was rather powerful and the erection pushed the end of my penis against the diaper which restricted the flow. This actually tore the end of my penis a little. Enough to bleed a bit. I noticed it the morning when it still hurt when I peed. But it quickly healed and everything was ok.

At this point I’m starting to get tired of this but I’m not going to stop. The immediate novelty of wearing diapers has long since worn off. The goal now is to be able to just go without knowing as well as bedwetting. One time during the day I did experience a spontaneous wetting and it was interesting but it was so sudden I was completely surprised. I hasn’t happened since but it has kept me interested enough to keep going.

One thing that I’ve notice is that its getting hard to not mess in my diaper. This is because I tend to keep my muscles relaxed and sometimes I’ll find myself having to go without much notice. (This partly a result of my surgery.) I’ve been able to manage since I do NOT want to mess in my diapers, especially the $20+ cotton diapers. But also for the practical reasons. I’m a 40 year old guy, when I take a dump, it isn’t small. It will not be pleasant or ‘fun’ and I doubt the ability of even the high quality Abena to handle it. Plus it would completely gross out anyone around me.

I’m starting to doubt how many people, especially 20 some-things who don’t have real jobs, can really be diapered 24/7. It isn’t cheap and it DOES affect your lifestyle. Just buying some Depends isn’t going to work. With all the changing and possible laundry, it doesn’t “save time” or make your life easier. I change less often than the amount of bathroom breaks I would have taken but I’m also a lot less comfortable as well. I have constant attention on if I’m leaking and how much my diaper has in it now and where can I change.

I have to carry ‘the diaper bag’ around. Usually its in the car but if I’m going to be at someone’s house then I have to carry it in. I can plan my changes for before an event or going out but depending on the timing, I may have to change at some point.

It really is a learning experience.

-FairfaxDL