SS84onwards

Happy birthday to the site. I've got a couple of stories I could submit, but I don't know if I should since no one will know the main character due to her being one of the main characters in a long running story. I submitted them in DeviantArt though, just look for a ReinaHW.

I'm Christian/Catholic by choice, chose to have religion in my life when I was a kid, but I never let it govern my life nor make me judge others. I feel it's wrong to force others to conform to an ideal that they themselves do not agree with, nor wish to have in their lives. Believe or don't believe, the choice is up to the people to decide, if they want to believe, then go ahead, if not, go ahead, it's your life and your choice. It doesn't matter either way since if God is truly an all seeing, all knowing, loving God, then He/She loves us no matter what and just wants us to enjoy life, not hurt others, not force others to be like us and to generally live. Fools force, and it's those fools who tend to cause so many issues. Not all problems, but a fair few of them.

There are many mysteries to it. Maybe one thing that happens when it's our time is that we get to choose something blissful while we wait to be reborn, I wonder if being in nappies while waiting would be allowed. That would be heaven for sure.

In many ways the UK is becoming almost like a US state, many things here have become very American in the past few decades. I guess it was bound to happen after the collapse of the British Empire and the younger generations being more and more exposed to the American way of life.

Final Destination by Within Temptation. Love this song, no matter how many times I listen to it,I love it. I've always got ideas from it, but never written any of them down.

Random thoughts of the day: If all these impatient young gamers, the ones who only play Halo, Call of Duty and other overhyped gun fests, were to wear nappies as they played, would that make them stop being idiots? Probably not. We're in the height of a recession yet the powers that be are still wasting money on themselves and they're 'important' ideals. Where are they getting the money from and is the recession more an excuse for the rich and powerful to not give a damn, as usual, about the world and the rest of the human race? Cats, the ultimate animal evil or cute, cunning, devious fur balls out for world conquest? Well after they've conquered the fridge, the sofa and made you their slave. I'm not sleeping, I'm searching my eyelids for holes. Ignorance is no excuse for hurting others, I guess the haters in the world missed the memo. So much junk on TV, yet they say it's prime time. Who fired the monkey's and replaced them with humans?!

Real or not, it was interesting. If it was all real, then good luck to you. If not, it was still an interesting read.

I prefer to tell the truth about my life, lying is a waste of energy. I was brought up to be honest and I hold to that, I find honesty to be the best policy.

Something silly, hmm, how about this? Made this silly picture a while ago - or this one, though the wording might be offensive for those who don't take the time to grasp the concept of the picture- Or something silly in words? http://reinahw.deviantart.com/art/Parody-T...-Song-127786530 Cheer up, you're young, may as well enjoy your youth while you can. It's always gone before you know it.

If you knew the few who have been attacking, I think you would end up calling them narrow minded as well. There's not accepting people because they don't have the same skin or interests or whatever and then there's just outright attacks without considering for a second that they can't force people to be like them. There are plenty of others who know of my differences and accept them, they have their own interests and they accept that everyone has their own little thing. The few however never accept that, no matter how often they see how different others are, they never accept that everyone has their own thing. They just try to force people to be like them, it makes me wonder if they're lonely and don't have the courage to face that. Difference happens, as the saying goes: Varity is the spice of life. It would be a dull world if everyone was exactly the same in every way.

Well I'm a DL, though I only wear maybe once a month for a few hours sadly and end up having to make do with those few hours since the budget isn't exactly able to go far for anything in terms of new towels to make a nappy with or anything new for it. But those few hours are wonderful and very calming. I never use the nappy beyond wearing, but I accept that there are those who like to use theirs, that's their choice, their life. With getting attacked by some narrow minded people in Second Life over the past year plus about my regressing at a daycare sim there, nappies and all, and relaxing with a young mindset or sometimes heading to a diaper lovers sim with my adult av switched on, then I've rarely been able to just enjoy my own interests because of threats from a narrow minded few. It would be really great if people could accept that everyone's different, they're just not likely to. Narrow minds see or hear of something that they refuse to understand and they attack without any consideration about a person's feelings, they just attack because it makes them feel big in their insecure lives. I hate having to hide the fact that I like to wear a nappy when I'm on these boards, it feels wrong to me to hide something. But until those who close their minds to life learn to open their minds, hiding is pretty much all DL/AB's are likely to do because of the misguided stigma attached to doing anything that doesn't conform to what society deems as 'normal', not that normal exists. Maybe there are celebs who wear nappies for comfort, incontintance or sexual purposes. And if there, they might have the same feelings of uncertainity as the rest of us do when it comes to being accepted in the eyes of the general public. It would be nice to be able to go food shopping while wearing a nappy and be able to say without fear of attack: "I love wearing a nappy, I really do". Or something of that nature. Whenver I go food shopping and I pass the baby supplies section, I always end up thinking 'I wish they had adult sized nappies for sale". But that's not likely, not while there's a very unfair and misguided stigma around. People just fear what they don't understand and they let that fear overrule their intellect. It's a shame, it's not like wearing a nappy hurts anyone, unlike things like binge drinking, drugs and other socially acceptable things that are harmful, not all, but a lot of them. ::Longs for the day when it would be safe to wear a nappy while food shopping and not be attacked for being themselves::

I look at the eyes first, since you can tell a person by their eyes. Well I can anyway.

I was bullied continiously due to, even the sexual and mental abuse I suffered was due to two things, being born with a natural tan to my skin and my family not having much money. I tended to prefer my studies and trying to not be like the others, so I rarely even fought back unless my temper was triggered, then it would all go very badly, for the bullies anyway. Once got so angry at being hurt that I pulled a door from it's hinges. Definitely never wise for me to be angered. These days I tend to scare bullies by just being very calm, my temper showing in my eyes, and saying very calmly "Get lost". Bullies are sad, insecure people who can't accept that not everyone is like them. There's plenty of them in Second Life, two of them area always trying to force me out of SL because I'm too different and don't kiss their rear ends like others do to try and keep the peace. They get their comeuppence eventually.

Only games I've been feeling up to playing lately have been Saints Row 1 and 2, I restarted SR1 a few days ago and I'll restart SR2 once the first is done. Older games, hmm, not sure. I'm hoping to get the Sega Mega Drive Collection for the 360 soon as well as Namco Museum: Virtual Arcade, same system, if I can find it here.

I had noticed for years that I didn't feel right in some odd way, after the abuse the feelings were stronger. At first I thought it was just my imagination trying to make a story or create images, but as I got older the feelings became stronger. I kept finding my body revolting and wondering why I had been male in the first place since I didn't feel male, although I had feelings for women, I kept them under control. But I became more and more revolted with being male, I found nothing I liked about it. It wasn't until I ended up joining Second Life and decided to be a female in it, because I was curious, that I realised that I felt more at ease with that, especailly when I learned how to role play and started being more in character. It was like waking up from a long sleep, I felt completely at peace with being female in this virtual world and whenever I logged off, the real life issue of being male would hit. I always have felt more female inside than male, though it's hard to define it. And over the last year the feeling that I'm not the gender I should have been born as has been hitting a lot harder. I did some research and talked with a lot of trans-gender men and women and explained the feelings, it turns out that I am trans-gender. I had just spent to many years denying it because I didn't understand the feelings, in the last few months since coming to terms with it I've become more content and at peace with myself, more prone to smiling and laughing than I used to. I tihnk my mum suspects that I don't feel happy with my born gender and I can't get the op - 1) because I would love to be a parent one day 2) I'm worried that I might hurt my parent's feelings and 3) I'm worried about scarring. But the people I've talked to who have had the same feelings before they had the op have all told me the same thing: Get the op when you're ready to. I'm still going over the options: personal happiness or my parent's happiness. They did raise me after all and I woould hate to end up hurting their feelings by turning round and saying that I hate being male and have never felt male. Plus there's been the attacks I've been getting now that I've finally opened up about my feelings, had one order me to 'stop pretending to be a woman' while another attacked me for my differences. But I'm finally happy with who I am in my heart, now I just need to try and choose what's more important in my life. And somehow, if I can, maybe get the op if I can find a way to afford it. Well one step at a time I guess.