I am not a little girl! (Really!) (Scene #214 posted 12/6/23)

[kerry]

Hope it all goes well, Alex!

 

[diapernocturnus]

Good luck and a speedy recovery too

[Alex Bridges]

The surgery went well, but I had bad reaction to the anesthesia when I woke up. I’m doing okay, but I’m in the ER while they figure things out.

Gone through three diapers and been cathed twice. Having a very very hard time emptying my bladder. 
 

So a rough go, but I’m doing okay all things considered

[diaperboymi]

OMG.... please keep the updates coming.   Hoping all the best fitte you?????????

[Alex Bridges]

So here’s the deal

I had a hip repair surgery yesterday, and unbeknownst to anyone, I had a ton of fluid in my abdomen pressing on my diaphragm, and I also had pneumonia in a very early stage.

When they took me off the anesthesia, both of my lungs partially collapsed.

So I’m in the hospital being treated for pneumonia and they’re trying to figure out the source of the abdominal fluid.

Send all the vibes!

[Guilend]

Best vibes

[diaperboymi]

OMG... that's horrible.   The vibs are being set your way.  Please get better soon.   I positive attitude always helps so keep fighting ?????

[BabyJilly_S]

Please take care and get well soon

[YourFNF]

Wishing you the best and a quick recovery!

[Alex Bridges]

I’m home and recovering. I have a head cold (that I hope isn’t COVID) and the runs because of all the antibiotics I’ve been on.

But I’m home and mending.

[WBDaddy]

40 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

I’m home and recovering. I have a head cold (that I hope isn’t COVID) and the runs because of all the antibiotics I’ve been on.

But I’m home and mending.

Good to hear (hope it isn't COVID too!) - thankfully you've got the proper equipment available to deal with the runs while you're physically limited.  

[Alex Bridges]

 

20 hours ago, WBDaddy said:

Good to hear (hope it isn't COVID too!) - thankfully you've got the proper equipment available to deal with the runs while you're physically limited.  

If it weren't for needing to protect the incisions ...

I did have a caregiver who changed me a couple times, cleaned me up once, and helped me shower, but I can't say any of it was enjoyable. I was just too miserable. In addition the surgery and the diarrhea, I picked up an awful head cold in the hospital.

[Alex Bridges]

Scene #171

 

         I’m not a flopper, but I did flop over Mary’s lap today. I was outside gardening, I was tired, it was hot, I was sweaty, the air conditioning made all these goose bumps appear, and there was Mary, sitting on the couch with her legs propped on the coffee table with her shorts all ridden up on her thighs. What better place to flop in all the land? None. That’s how many.

         “Hi,” I said because it’s polite to greet a person whose lap you’re sprawled over, ideally beforehand but in the first few seconds are permissible too.

         SPANK!

         “Hey! What was that for?”

         “I thought you wanted me to.” A likely story.

         “Can’t a girl sprawl across her lover’s lap without collecting a spank? I think we need marriage counseling.”

         “What? Why on earth would we need marriage counseling?”

         “Cuz I wanna see the look on the therapist’s face when we do that thing where I roleplay as you and you roleplay as me heehee!”

         “You’ll say anything for a laugh,” Mary said as she laughed. I make her laugh … sigh. “You are such a sweat ball.”

         “Excuse me, I don’t sweat. I glisten. Ladies glisten.” And did I describe myself as sweaty above? Well, what a girl says in her diary is private.

         “And if I didn’t know better, I might mistake the dirt just above your ankles for tan lines.”

         “I labored for you, Mary. I labored to make out house more beautiful and full of fresh produce all summer. I’ma put you to work harvesting berries soon … Do you think if I were to get caught eating the berries during harvesting that I might be made to take my shorts and panties down and submit to a switching right there in the yard and have to finish my work with my bare bottom on display?”

         “I think that could be arranged,” she said while – get this – leaning all the way over to nibble on my earlobe. Like, does she even know whose ear that is? “But we wouldn’t want to sunburn your bottom. You should sunbath without your bottoms on for at least an hour every day.”

         “If you say so. You’re always saying stuff and things.”

         “Are you gonna fall asleep across my legs?”

         “Yeah. You uncomfortable?”

         “Yeah.”

         “Tough. I worked hard and wanna sleep on your legs.”

         “Excuse me, little girl. I’ll show you tough.”

         I married a ninja, for real. Does she even know whose body she flipped over and manhandled and was straddling on the couch?

         “Mar-eeeeeee! St-eeeeee! Stop heeheehee! No heeheeheehee fair-eeee tickling!”

         “If you say so. You’re always saying stuff and things.”

         “Um, scoff? Rude much? And do you even know whose sides you were tickling just now?”

         And as soon as I said, I saw. She had definite Afternoon Delight face. I suddenly felt a second wind. A second wind and … stuff. And, like, does she even know whose mouth she was putting her tongue in? She should be so rude every day and maybe twice a day on weekends.

 

         So, um, anyway, forty minutes later …

 

         “You have such a pretty little body,” my Mary (so called because she’s mine and no one can have her) said to me while running a fingertip up and down my pretty little body.

         “You’re just saying that cuz you love me.”

         “I love (kiss) you and (kiss) your body and (kiss) I especially love (kiss) your minnie.”

         Excuse me? “Excuse me? My what?”

         “This.”

         Zipe! She is so wonderfully handsy. “I know what you meant. Don’t call it that.”

         “Why not,” she chuckled.

         “It’s … weird.”

         “You don’t like it when I call it a p…”

         “Stop! I have delicate little ears. I don’t like that word.”

         “The things you choose to be bashful about. Such a cutie.”

         “Am not.”

         “Are so. You don’t mind the part that shall not be named being on display in our backyard though, do you?”

         “I must’ve missed the day in Sunday school when they said we shouldn’t do that. And Mom did used to say she had such a hard time keeping clothes on me.”

         “Yet more proof you’re still a little girl.”

         “Am not.”

         “C’mon, let’s go get my little girl a bath … and I think I’ll join you in the tub.”

         “You can call it a kitty, if you must refer to it as anything.”

         “Lemme see your kitty moving toward the bathroom. Scoot.”

         “Hey, Mary? Do you think that spray we got for cleaning up Suzy’s accidents will work on the couch? Asking for my friend named Mary who, um, really enjoyed herself just now.”

         “I think so,” she chuckled.

         “And my friend also wants to know if you think it will work on the wall next to the side table.”

         “Harhar. You flatter yourself.”

         “Yes. Yes, I do.”

[diaperboymi]

That was AWESOME ?   god i live these two so much.  What a wonderful start to the day, reading a new chapter?????

BTW...i hope you are feeling better Alex???

 

[Alex Bridges]

24 minutes ago, diaperboymi said:

That was AWESOME ?   god i live these two so much.  What a wonderful start to the day, reading a new chapter?????

BTW...i hope you are feeling better Alex???

 

Thank you! I am feeling better. My stomach has calmed down, and I’m slowly getting over this pneumonia.

[diaperboymi]

7 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

Thank you! I am feeling better. My stomach has calmed down, and I’m slowly getting over this pneumonia.

That's good news.  I hope you're finding time to relax.

[Alex Bridges]

Scene #172

 

 

         That time I bought the oversized inflatable pool had to be one of my best ever decisions. Did I spend too much and get spanked for it? Yeah, but it was a little one. Does it take up too much of our patio and make it difficult to get from the door to the yard? You betcha. Does it contain a couple hundred gallons of water we have no good way to dispose of? Yep. Is it cool and wet and behind a privacy fence where there’s no one to judge me for sitting in it up to my hips sipping one of those frozen alcoholic alcohol drinks? You better believe it.

Just me in my two-piece (for once, cuz I wanna get a tan or something approximating one), my good friend margarita came to visit at 11:00, which is earlier than she usually comes but I’d been up since early and it was a super nice outside and why not enjoy it before it got truly hot.

         I think I may have been born to this lifestyle. That’s not really something I like admitting cuz we’re all about work in this culture and having an identity inextricably tied to what we do, but I think what I do – what I was meant to do – is be Daphne. It’s harder than it looks but a lot more rewarding than, say, anything else. Thank goodness I married well, not that either of us knew Mary was gonna one day make enough money that I wouldn’t have to work.

I’d say we (mostly me) lucked out except it wasn’t luck. Mary is the prototypical Type-A personality, and she worked heccin hard for everything. She works heccin hard now, and sometimes I’m that wife who whines about how hard she works as if I don’t know she’s doing it for us, but that’s okay because part of my job is to cajole, bully, pout, or anything else I need to do to get Mary to take care of herself in all the ways I can’t take care of her for her.

But no such cajoling needed on that Saturday. I didn’t know what was keeping her, but I knew she’d be along eventually. I could just close my eyes and let the rays of sun caress my face with their warmth … for about twenty seconds before Mary (yes, the Mary, a legend in her own time, much like myself) opened the sliding door behind me.

“I saved you a seat,” I told her.

“Are you Daphne Ann Taylor,” was Mary’s suspicious reply. She’s a very suspicious person, my Mary is. Shifty; a dodgy character always plotting.

“Um,” I said cuz I was stalling for time. Who knew what she scheming this time. “No? Never even heard of her.”

“Turn around.” So bossy. Not that I turned around cuz she’s the boss of me or nothin’. I just wanted to, so I did. “Are you sure you’re not Daphne Ann Taylor,” asked Mary. All five-feet-eight-inches of Mary, clad in only a lifeguard’s red one-piece with her legs all … mmmm.

“I am Daphne Ann Taylor. Yes … please.” Mary’s faux-stern face. It’s just like her actual stern face, but there’s a twinkle in her eye that tells me firstly that I’m not in trouble and thusly that fun will soon commence. Gay fun. Gay, kinky fun.

“I’m the head lifeguard around here,” Mary (the head lifeguard) said as she strode toward me all goddess-of-summer like with her … one-piece (for which I have this thing called a fetish, which is when something not usually sexy makes you have lusty feelings and stuff; yep, just me in my pool, feeling lusty … and stuff).

“That must be a very powerful job,” I said all coquettishly to the head lifeguard. I am a coquette, ya know. The dictionary says that’s the same as being flirtatious but it’s not, and I know that because I’m terrible at flirting and ever so good at being a coquet.

“I’ve had several reports about your behavior at the pool today.” She pulled a chair up behind me. Mary behind me always makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. She has, um, a tendency, we’ll call it, to, uh, take advantage of me – yeah, we’ll use that phrase – when I’m not looking. Not that I’m not a hundred and ten percent okay with that and sorta kinda definitely encourage it in subtle, femininely wily ways.

Still, I turned over so I could look at her cuz, ya know, she’s pretty all the time and smokin’ hot in that one-piece and I like her and stuff. “What’d I do.” An innocent question cuz I’m ever so innocent. Really.

“Were you running on the pool deck?”

“Mhmm. Very fast, totally unsafe, endangered everybody.”

“And is that an alcoholic beverage in an open container?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had alcohol. What’s it taste like.”

“Give it here.” I dutifully handed it over, and she took a sip, by which I mean a long, slow drink that would give us mere mortals brain freeze, but not head lifeguards. No siree.

“Drinking on duty,” I chided her.

“How would you know if you don’t even know what alcohol tastes like?”

“Oops. Caught me.” Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t paw the lifeguard. Her fun bits are, like, right at eye level and she’s not crossing her legs and it’s just … geesh! I want it! But don’t paw the lifeguard. Don’t paw the lifeguard. Just … be patient. I shoulda had that margarita faster. My inhibitions were clearly way too strong still.

“And we have rules about what little girls wear at this pool.”

“I should prolly just take this off then, huh?” Not that I’m a little girl, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express, like, eight or so years ago.

“Stand up and bring me your towel.” Which I did. Not because she’s the boss of me but because I realllyyy wanted her to do whatever she was gonna do next to me. After all, I’d misbehaved at the pool. That must have consequences. I know when I need a consequence (I’m very self-aware), and I needed a heccin consequence … possibly two or three of them … and another at bedtime.

I handed over my towel, and she dried me off, paying special attention to certain special parts of me (hence the special attention; hence indeed).

“Was your misbehavior worth it,” the head lifeguard in her cardinal red head lifeguard one-piece swimsuit (no pawing … yet!) asked me. “All these people looking at you, seeing you get scolded by the head lifeguard like a naughty little girl. Turn around.”

When I turned around, gone was our backyard, and in its place was the pool I spent almost every summer day at growing up. Mom would drop us off for swim practice at 8:00. She’d pick us up at 4:00. The same people sat in the same spots and did the same things day in and day out, and I very happily transported myself back to that place, imagining hundreds of potential onlookers, some of them onlooking and most of them reading their books and swimming their laps because – and I know you’re not gonna believe this – in my head, 30-something redheads get spanked by the lifeguards all the time. Sure, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not out of the ordinary.

As I was settling every so delightfully into that headspace, these seemingly familiar hands patted the inside of my thighs, and I spread them as if I didn’t mind the head lifeguard taking such liberties, like, at all.

“Are you embarrassed yet,” she asked me while working that towel in between my legs to dry a spot she’d gotten from the front pretty well but for some inscrutable reason was belaboring in the most belabored way. “Cuz you will be when I take your swimsuit down and spank your bare bottom where everyone can …”

“Rmmm,” was all I said to cut her off in mid-sentence.

“Did you,” she said all scandalized and more determined than ever to teach me a lesson, “Did you just cum in your bottoms? Right here on the pool deck? In front of everybody?” Not my fault. Her fault. And the swimsuit’s fault (her swimsuit, not mine). You don’t shake up a bottle of soda and then blame the bottle when it explodes. That’s just science and basic manners. Emily Post said so or would’ve if she’d been asked. Let’s just get these down right now then.”

She hooked her thumbs into my bottoms, and while things were a bit foggy, I did remember that these games (actually, not a game; a Very Serious Activity, if you take these kinds of things seriously, which we do) are more fun if I play too (not play; Very Serious and Enthusiastic Participation).

“No,” I cried and stepped back (and almost fell into the pool cuz sometimes I lose all sense of place when I’m participating Very Seriously), “you can’t take my suit down in front of everybody!”

“Like you’re leaving much to the imagination anyway,” she replied and – true story – had to fight me a little to get them down. “Fine,” she said as she won our battle of wills (funny, what with us both willing the same thing), “I was going to (spank!) use my hand, but if you’re going to be so naughty, you can march your bratty buns over to the table and bring me what’s on top of it.”

“But I’m naked!” (Almost … even with the mostly private backyard, I’m not naked back there very often … pants and panties around my ankles, well, more than I’d like to admit).

This very authoritarian lifeguard – and she has a lotta chutzpa too – smacked me very hard on my butt, surely leaving a handprint there as though signing her artwork, and told me “March. Right now, little girl.”

“I’m not a little girl,” I spat back as I marched (but totally out of step – take that!) to the table and brought back a paddle. A paddle I hadn’t seen before. Lexan, hard and heavy without being too heavy. It can pack quite the sting but still leave a bruise, which I surely didn’t deserve. I can honestly say I’ve never earned a spanking, let alone a paddling, in my life. Really.

“You look like a little girl,” the head lifeguard retorted, and I know this seems weird, but I think she was referencing my lack of a certain patch of body hair. I’d never met a lifeguard like this before; such a pity, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over what I missed out on.

“Why are you being so mean to me?”

“I’ve giving you a consequence for your poor choices. You’re the one making an exhibition of yourself.”

“That’s bull whoah! Hey!” Yanking me off my feet and over her knee the moment I was in reaching distance like she’s queen of the darn pool1 Hmmph! “Don’t you …” SMACK! “Ouch!”

“Are you gonna settle down and take your spanking, or do you wanna draw an even bigger crowd?”

We’ll just see about that! If I’d had sleeves, I’d have rolled them up and everything before telling her, “I will not settle down! I will not hold still! I will not be quiet! And I will not learn my lesson!”

And this lifeguard, my hand to god, takes everything so literally. What gives with that? It’s like just because I said those things, she thought she had to tilt me forward so my feet weren’t even on the ground, clamp her arm around my hip, and paddle me like a kayak. I meant to struggle and fight back and tell her exactly what I thought of her and the stupid rules, but at the first strike of that paddle, all I could think was, O fuck yeah. Red – ow! – one-piece and – ouch! – spanked at the – eep! – pool lifelong – oof! – fantasy with her hand – mmf! – o fuck yes! “Rrr, rmmm!”

         How very … unusual. And I’m a very usual person. Really. It’s not like as soon as it was over I was wondering whether I could engineer a scene like that in real life cuz that, too, would be very unusual.

         “Did you learn your lesson,” the head lifeguard asked me while rubbing my butt. Pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that.

         “Hemmm.”

         “Daphne?”

         “Hmm?”

         “Did you learn your lesson?”

         “Sure,” I yawned. Something about no outside snacks. Who knows? I was suddenly very sleepy, all limp and stuff over Mary’s knee.

         “Up you go.”

         You mean I hafta to hold myself upright using my own body? That’s way too difficult, but I did it cuz I’m strong and stuff.

         “The other rule,” Mary Queen of Lifeguards said to me as she unfolded her towel to reveal a thing she’d kept concealed, “is that little girls who get their bare bottoms spanked at the pool hafta wear a swim diaper so everyone knows what they’re to keep an extra close eye on them cuz they’re so small.”

         “Do I hafta?”

         “Every spanked little girl does. Do you think the rules don’t apply to you? Are you special?”

         “Yes. Very,” I replied while she threaded that thing up my legs. I woulda minded more, but I was feeling like I owed Mary a little something for her all the planning and effort that went into this surprise fantasy fulfillment, and if it made her happy, then … and I wasn’t planning on wearing them very long.

         “There,” she said and swatted my butt. “Remember, these don’t hold tinkle.”

         “Mary, get in the pool.”

         “Excuse me, little girl?”

         “Get in the pool or take me inside right now.” Funny how my voice got all breathy must then.

         Mary’s it’s-cute-how-bossy-you-get-when-you’re-horny face.

         Mary stepped into the pool and held my hand as I did the same cuz she likes me and stuff, and as we sank into all ten inches of water, I told myself, you can paw at the lifeguard now.

         “Do you think it’s a one-piece fetish, a lifeguard fetish, or a pool fetish,” she asked someone. Probably not me cuz I was so clearly not into having a conversation just then. Nope, I was more intent on getting that one-piece off her shoulder to expose a … never you mind what. I’m a very private person after all, even if I forget sometimes. Really.

[diaperboymi]

That was AWESOME!!!!  What a Great Fantasy for Daphne ??  I'm sure Mary had a Wonderful time also.  Thanks for bring a bit of Baywatch back ???

[Alex Bridges]

Scene #173

 

 

Nothing much doing, just laying on my Mary who was laying on the sofa, stroking my hair and humming. If you’ve never laid your head on your lover’s chest when they hum love songs, I highly recommend it. Eleven out of ten.

“What’s V stand for,” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“The song you’re humming. What’s V stand for? I can’t remember.”

“Very, very extraordinary.”

“O, that’s definitely me. I don’t know if you knew this about me, but I’m the very essence of quite a few superlatives.”

“Of course I know. Remember when I sponsored that motion at our kink club to have your butt declared Most Spankable?”

I do remember. They don’t give those awards out to just anyone, and they don’t come cheap either. So many voters insisted on giving it a few spanks before lending their support, which now that I think on it, I suspect  was Mary’s plan all along. It was a very good plan, if so, and I can’t say I didn’t like it a bunch.

“I like it when you sing me love songs.”

“You know why I do it?”

Heck yes I do. “Cuz you’re in love with me.”

“Cuz I’m in love with you. Also, it’s good for little girls to hear lots of words to help their brains develop.”

“I’m not a little girl, and maybe you didn’t notice this about me, but I already have a very rich vocabulary.” True story.

“Yes, you are very verbal. At least until you get flustered and start saying nonsense words.”

“You and your button pushing is what does it.” So many emotions, my brain gets choosy and decides to reduce verbal recall to put more effort into resolving all the conflicting feelings. Plus sometimes I think some blood flow gets redirected to … other parts.

“And you are too a little girl.” She always says that. I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

“Am not.”

“So when I felt my thigh getting warm a few minutes ago, that was a big girl wetting her diaper?”

“Let’s play a game: I’ll be the koala, and you be the tree that hums love songs and strokes my hair and doesn’t ask any questions.”

“My little girl is so good at make believe.”

“Nurfle skoozit.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“Did you say something?”

“ … ”

“I thought you said something. Maybe it was just another hissing sound coming from between your legs.”

“Now who’s talking nonsense, Mary. You. That’s who.”

“It’s okay to wet your diaper, honey. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“Yes I do, and I only do it because you make me.”

“My little girl is very good at obeying, most of the time. You know what that makes you?”

“What?”

“A good girl.”

O my god she said it! Squeee! But dignity, always dignity, that’s me. “That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Your whole body got warm just now.”

“No it didn’t,” I chuckled.

“Good girl … It just did it again! It’s like you have a physiologic reaction to being called a good girl or something.”

“Heehee! Very funny.” Sigh … my wife makes me laugh. Also, I do kinda sorta have a physiologic reaction to being called a good girl. It’s called a praise kink and tickles just the right spot in my brain.

“And while you’re always a good girl, you do follow the rules selectively sometimes, don’t you?”

“Who, me? Couldn’t be.”

“Yes you. But you know what rule you follow a hundred percent of the time? When I put you in your pampers, you always stay in them and make your tinkles in them. Why is that?”

I still had my cheek on Mary’s chest, and I craned my head up so I could look her in the eye, and yep, she was looking down at me all smiley with her I-adore-you face on. “You wanna know why,” I asked. “You really wanna know why? Cuz I love you and it makes you happy.”

And with that, I put my cheek back on her chest and snuggled in closer.

“I love you too, Daffodil. Very much, all the time and every day.”

“I know you do.” Like, I know it. The very deepest part of me knows it and loves her back just as much and then some. My Mary.

“Wanna play that koala game you just made up?”

“Mhmm.”

“You gonna fall asleep on me?”

“That’s the goal. We were up awfully late.”

“What if you be the koala bear, and I just be a plain old tree that falls asleep too?”

“You’re taking my game way too seriously.”

And then she kissed me. Sleepy squees!

[diaperboymi]

Totally cute scene???  i can never get enough of these two.  Reading this just added a big bright spot in a dreary day ?????????????

[kerry]

Every time I get to see any kind of interchange between them, especially this kind, my heart goes all aflutter.

[Alex Bridges]

Scene #174

 

Ever have a dream where you’re peeing and you wake up and you actually were peeing? Me neither. But I have had a dream where someone was smacking me on the butt with vigor, and when I came to, very quickly, sure enough, there was Mary wearing her I’m-not-done-with-your-butt face swinging away. Not the playful version but the serious version. Thank goodness for the comforter or she might’ve actually made my butt hurt or something.

“Get this out of the way,” she mumbled as she took away my comforter. Drat.

“Mar ow ow ow what ow did ouch friggin yipe dammit! I do?!” According to some people I share a home and bank account and marriage certificate with, I’m not always so good at knowing whether or not I did something, but I’d been very well behaved lately. Even my alleged bratty had been minimal.

“Like you can’t even guess.” Heccin lord almighty she was steamed, which explains the paddle she took off my nightstand (which is fine cuz it’s hers; my nightstand just holds it up) and SPLAT!

“OW! I didn’t eep! Stop!” I’m usually very good about taking my spankings with just token physical resistance, and not because I couldn’t overpower Mary. She may have size and strength on me on the outside, but I’m actually a much more powerful individual who can bend steel bars and stuff. Nope, it’s because I’m obedient (when I want to be, which still counts according to experts who are me) and she’s in charge and I like that very much. But usually she has the courtesy to explain why I’m getting spanked before she starts paddling my butt.

With my hands on the edge of the mattress, I pulled with all the might on my mighty yet petite and ladylike body … and Miss Mary Where-Do-You-Think-You’re-Going grabbed my ankle and just kept up paddling. Hmmph. She must not realize I’m stronger than her or something. And iron willed. I have an iron will, very incontestable, and Mary was really getting on my nerves with the whole contesting it thing.

“Hold. Still!” (SPANK!)

“Not til you ugh! Tell me YOW! What I fuggernootin! Did!”

“What’s the spending limit?”

Urgh! That stupid rule! That stupid, fucking not-adjusted-for-inflation-since-2017 rule! And I didn’t even break it!

“I didn’t break the rule!”

“What’s the rule?” (SMACK!)

“I hafta ask if it’s over a hundred -owhuhow- dollars! But Mary (sniff!) I didn’t break it!”

“So that three hundred charge on our credit card is a mistake?”

“… No …”

(SMACK!) “Then explain it.” (SPANK!)

“I can’t.” (SPANK SMACK PADDLE SPLAT!!) “it’s a present! It’s a present for you! Stop spanking me-hee-eee (snorfle)!” 

“A present for me?”

“Yes!”

Which is when she let go of my ankle. Timing is everything, and I was gonna explain that to her but before I could, the floor was coming up at my face. Good thing my forearm was there to to stop it … dammit.

“Ouch … Are you gonna heccin pull me back up or do I hafta slide the rest of the way to the floor?”

She pulled me up and I think she was lost in the moment or something cuz she said to me, “Another reason you should hold still while getting spanked.”

“(Sound of me glaring at my wife.) And!?!”

“Sorry?”

“Heccin right you’re (righteous rhino noises) and since when do you (violent car crash but no one was hurt, thank goodness) and outta nowhere with the (elephant trumpeting) and the ‘o look at me I’m Mary I can do whatever I (power substation exploding) and dammihurnermer, Mary! Hmmph!”

“Really sorry.” Mary’s oops-I’m-chagrined face. Not gonna cut it.

“Good … But if you don’t wanna spend the money, I can always take your present back.”

“If it’s so important you decided to break the rule, I guess we’d better keep it.”

Lemme count the things wrong with that statement: one. One thing. “How can I ask permission when it’s a present for you? I wanted it to be a surprise.” And don’t even listen to anyone who says I sounded pathetic and disappointed. I mean, I did, but don’t even listen to those people because reasons.

“I’m sorry. C’mere.”

“I’m only letting you hug me because you’re good at making things all better.”

“Do you still like me?”

“Very much. What even got into you? You haven’t spanked me like that in a while.”

“We’ve talked about the spending limit rule so many times. I thought this time the paddle could do the talking.” 

Did she just tell a joke? Was that a forced chuckle? Screw that. “You thought wrong. You should always explain to someone why you’re spanking them … especially if you woke them out of a dead sleep.”

“Bet you wish you’d let me diaper you last night.”

“No! But I do wish I’d worn panties.”

“How can I make it up to you?” Ooo, an opportunity for emotional extortion. Whatever shall I do with it? 

“Well, you can go get the lotion.”

“One butt rub coming up.”

“I didn’t say that. Listen with your ears, Mary.” I take risks. “You can go get the lotion and then finish my spanking, but with more fondling this time. And maybe get my front too. And a present of equal or greater value.” I may have said that last part soto voce just to see if that idea would float.

“I heard that,” Mary said pianissimo.

“It’s rude to talk under your breath. You’re on a definite rude streak today. Maybe part of my present is you working on that.”

“One of these days, I’m gonna spank the sass outta you.”

“You did that one time … for a few hours, I think.”

“Dinner. We got through dinner without anymore sass, but you were all better by bedtime.”

“Kinda rude to give me a bedtime spanking too.”

“So what did you get me,” she asked. She doesn’t always segue smoothly, bless her heart. And see how alike we are? Turning the subject back to gifts and asking what they are even when they’re supposed to be a surprise is such a me thing to do!

“Do you really wanna know?”

“When were you gonna give it to me?”

“At the lake next week. It’s a vacation surprise.”

“I guess I’ll just hafta be patient.”

“It is a virtue, Mary. You could stand to be a lot more virtuous.”

“Uh-huh. How do you want this combination spanking-fondling?”

“With me straddling your left thigh.”

“You’re gonna hump my leg, aren’t you?”

“That’s my plan.”

“You’re the most virtuous woman I know, Daffy.”

“Yeah, our crowd is pretty shamelesss. Hey, can we have sex in the blow up pool later?” What? I meant after dark, of course. Really.

Mary’s you’re-just-barely-in-control-of-your-hormones-aren’t-you smile. It’s a happy smile, with a dollop of whatever-shall-I-do-with-you as though I’m running her ragged or something. But she’s the one who came out swinging, and I’m the one who fell off the bed. If anyone is running anyone else around here ragged, it’s definitely Mary and also me.

“You know what,” Mary asked me, but it wasn’t really a question. “I paddled your bottom pretty hard, and it hardly fazed you. That tells me the next time you get in trouble, I’m gonna hafta up my game. Do you need a Kleenex to blow your nose?” And then she got up and started walking away to get the lotion.

“That’s not a good conclusion,” I called after her.

“Yes it is.” Aw. Touché. Dammit …

“And yes on the Kleenex … thank you.”

She emerged in moments from the bathroom holding the lotion and the Kleenex. “We wouldn’t want you to not be able to breathe through my apology.”

“Definitely not … You should take your pants off or get a towel.”

“Planning to make a mess on my leg?”

“How else will I know you’re really sorry? And I am too virtuous.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking it.” And she decided to take off her pants, which is awesome cuz that’s what I was hoping for. And poor Mary, I’ve rarely seen her so sorry.

[diaperboymi]

Hahaha??? That was was AWESOME ????   Mary may be getting a present but i think Daffy the winner ??????????

[YourFNF]

Me after catching up on the last few updates:

[Alex Bridges]

11 hours ago, YourFNF said:

Me after catching up on the last few updates:

You’re cute

 

(haha! Made you blush!)