24/7 startups, and unexpected pitfalls?

[Little Sherri]

11 hours ago, oznl said:

Maybe I’m just paranoid but I’d be mulling over what she knew and how she may have come by that insight.

 

Admittedly, there could have been plenty of conversational context by way of prequel there that would make her comment seem less jarring but just lasering in on diapers the way she did as a hypothetical unacceptable outcome from a life changing injury just seemed a bit odd.

Now you have me thinking, @oznl. Although if my buddy's wife is "in the know", she's remarkably nonchalant about it. I tend to think that my infantile underwear preferences aren't something my wife likely brings up with very many people, because I don't imagine that she enjoys the idea of someone finding out about it anymore than I do, and the people we were with are right in the middle of our wider social group, so if they knew, well, it might not be long until literally everyone knew, although I would grant them the benefit of the doubt as to if they'd talk widely about such things - they are generally pretty discreet - we've been in business together and shared financial information and such, and I've never been concerned. But this is different. Although, much as I say that I don't think my wife has ever told her, at the same time, I have been at their house many, many times since I started on this journey, even once losing a pacifier in their guest bedroom that I retrieved a week later (from under the bed, thankfully), so, it is possible, perhaps, that she's detected something. But I *believe* that I've been pretty careful around her. As a side note, she's the person that my wife asked to examine my butt last year, to uphold her side of an argument over whether a pair of pants I'd bought - back when I was first "right-sizing" my clothes - was too big. More on that phenomenon momentarily. 

9 hours ago, BlakeJordan said:

Like buying a new car, all of a sudden everyone has the same model on the road!

To @BlakeJordan's point here, I definitely do tend to zero in on any references to diapers. I had my alarms set off last fall, for example, when I was staying with good friends of mine in the US for a few days, and in the middle of the day, their 7-year-old daughter walked up to me and asked, apropos of nothing, if there was "Such thing as adult diapers." At the time, we were in their pool, so I didn't have one on, but my suitcase was open on the floor of their guest bedroom, and there were a good dozen or so buried in it, and I had also been carefully interring dead soldiers in a trash receptacle they had in the garage specifically for dog poop and pull-ups, which one of their kids still uses. My theory was that nobody does a detailed survey of the contents of the dog poop/diaper bin, so that probably wasn't the source, but their three kids had the run of the house, and I often bring them gifts of some sort when I visit, so the idea that one of them might have rifled my suitcase wasn't entirely absurd. However, after I answered her that, yes, such things do exist, she shrugged and then started on another topic, and that was the end of that. I eventually talked myself in off the ledge, concluding that there was no way that, if the kids had found something in my suitcase, it wouldn't have come up again, and also, if they went through it, they were very methodical, because I couldn't detect anything amiss. But the incident still had my radar pinging for the rest of the trip.

Speaking of speaking of diapers, they seem to be coming up more frequently now between my wife and I, and when they do, they elicit less of an eye-roll than they used to, suggesting, at least to me, that maybe they're now an accepted fact of life, like the dog, hot and cold running water, and the inevitability of death. I can recount three instances just from the last 24 hours; the first occurred when the "diaper pants" I spoke about ordering in an earlier post arrived - deliberately MORE oversized jeans than my already oversized jeans, that I bought to hopefully enable the wearing of even my biggest diapers when away from the house, and to ease the transition away from my beloved cargo shorts, as ambient temperatures drift down to the single digits overnight.

I tore into the packaging and pulled out one pair, whereupon she immediately said "Those are way too big, you should send them back." I said "Hang on a second", and proceeded to drop my cargo shorts (what else?), revealing a pretty soggy Bambino Classico - this, at around 2:00 in the afternoon, pretty close to the end of watch for an overnight diaper. I pulled the new pants on, zipped them up, and said "I think they fit pretty well - keep in mind they'll shrink a bit as well when I wash them.", to which my wife replied "Well, yeah, but take off that giant diaper, and I guarantee you they're too big." So, not taking the bate about trying them on without a diaper, I said "I think they'd be fine over a smaller diaper, too."  Which, I hope, underlines what the point of buying them in that size was in the first place: there is no longer a "correct size" for me that doesn't compensate for the presence of a diaper. 

Reinforcing that she may have registered my point about the pants somewhere in her psyche, she came back from shopping later that afternoon, and handed me not one, but two, giant bottles of Johnson's baby powder. She had heard that it might be pulled from the market because of an ongoing lawsuit about if its use might have allegedly caused illness among females who were exposed to it as babies decades ago. I believe that might only have applied to the US market (we're in Canada), but, I was giddy nonetheless, seeing this offering as a clear acceptance that my baby pants are an entrenched part of my life - that's a lot of baby powder. I think a bottle usually lasts me close to a year. She also commented that she liked the smell of the Johnson's product more than the store brand one I'm currently using, which kind of smells like lilac, and I heartily agree - I love that quintessential baby powder scent, which Johnson's essentially invented. As a side note, I'm glad that any objections she has about my diaper-related bouquet seem to be related to the perfuming of the products I'm using, and not to the diapers themselves. 

Having had a couple diaper-related topics essentially thrust upon me, I took the initiative in bringing them up one more time, right at bedtime, when I put on a new Rearz Barnyard, and, as soon as I walked out of the bathroom, my wife reminded me that the dog needed one more outing. So I pulled on one of the aforementioned new pairs of oversized jeans, did a turn, said "See?" (a Barnyard is a BIG diaper, and in my opinion, the jeans did a good job of camouflaging it), and then I took the dog out for his constitutional in what, it turned out, was a driving rain. When I returned, I said something like "God, it's raining hard out there" as I pulled off my damp clothing, and she, without missing a beat, said "Ironically, the only dry thing on you is that diaper."

 

[Little Sherri]

Well, I'm sitting here in a Barnyard again, part way through another day in the saddle. This being the last day of the month, I'm pretty much chained to my desk for the moment, and so I have to note just how damned convenient it is to be able to work in a nice big diaper. I've barely left my desk since I sat down at about 8:30, and I haven't needed to. Admittedly, I've thrust this requirement to dribble every 15 minutes or so upon myself, but, being a male of the species, and knowing, based on all the ads I've seen, and anecdotes I've heard from older colleagues and relatives, that eventually I'll probably have a prostate the size of a cantaloupe, which will have me getting up three times a night to pee, and every hour or so during the day, I posit the following: that putting oneself in diapers is akin to saving for retirement. It's something all of us should prepare for. I'm not going to be a zombie, addled from lack of sleep, when I get into my silver years - I'll be sleeping like a baby, because I'll be sleeping dressed like a baby.

I had an unexpected field test of my new diaper pants, when a utility company that had, earlier this year, dug up much of my lawn, and then taken 6 months to repair it, came back for another swipe at us, and my wife positively lost her mind, because we are planning on selling the place, and visible scars on the lawn don't help with that. I heard a giant truck idling directly outside my office, and then the engine note changed to "it's doing something", and then I heard my front door slam, and the sound of my wife's voice, mostly drown out by the truck. So I trotted down and out onto the lawn, to act as an interpreter between my wife ("NO GODDAMN WAY YOU'RE #&$^%&*##) and the poor guy who had our house on his list of digging assignments for the day. Having secured an agreement that they would come back and talk to the new homeowners before cutting into the lawn again, once we had the place sold, I walked back into the house, and then became aware that, yes, I had just spent 15 minutes on the lawn negotiating with workmen, while wearing a "very big diaper". Now, admittedly, they probably couldn't have cared less what I was wearing, but, the point is, in that moment, I felt I was being reasonably discreet. 

A Barnyard in size large falls at the top of the sizing charts within my inventory, alongside the Alpaca's, Magnifico's and the Elite Hybrids, and bulkier than, say, a Safari, Bambino Classico, or a BetterDry. So, if I can argue outdoors, in daylight, with contractors, while in a wet Barnyard, my pants are sized correctly. I rest my case. 

[Little Sherri]

I think I'm running into a phenomenon that @oznl has referred to on his own entertaining, humorous and sometimes poignant thread; I shall call it the "unremarkability barrier" (I've made up a word there). Wearing diapers has become, for me, somewhat unremarkable, and of course, I find myself sitting here, intermittently, trying to pound out "remarks". Occasionally, I come up with what I think is an interesting question or line of thinking that I can present to you diaper veterans for comment, or more often, I get handed an idea to expand upon, by one of you, either in a question or comment sent to me directly, or via something I've come across on one of your threads or blogs. 

Today is not one of those days. 

So, I will fall back on the crutch of a diaper review. I was in that Rearz Barnyard that I wrote about yesterday until almost 6 PM. That's approaching 19 hours, if I put it on at about 11 PM, which sounds right. I took it off for two reasons; first, I was planning to go to the gym, so I needed to trade it for a slimmer diaper, and, second, it had finally allowed two silver dollar-sized spots of dampness to form on the back of my thighs. Impressive performance, though, and the size of that thing when I took it off suggested it had its own micro gravity. I have very few negative comments to add; one would be that, again, these are enormous diapers, at least on me - luckily, by the time it reached comical proportions, my kids were out at their activities, and only my wife was there to behold the size of the thing. But if you want a diaper that can last three quarters of a day, it is going to have to be pretty big. Second, I found that the Velcro-like tabs were starting to slip under the burden, and I snugged them up a few times later in the day - this is where taped fasteners are superior, at least for the good ones. Although I should add that the hook-loop fasteners on the Rearz Elite's don't seem to shift as much. Lastly, and this wasn't really a problem, just an observation, but, in 19 hours of what I would call "fairly active" wearing - I was up and down the stairs, out with the dog, moved laundry back and forth, etc - I noted that the inner lining had pulled away from the shell between my legs, which left some of the stuffing clinging to me when I took the diaper off. Not a big deal, and, again, after 19 hours, hardly a condemnation. 

After the Barnyard came off, replaced by a Prevail, I went to the gym; I was able to forget that I was in a diaper, and just enjoy the class, which is a psychological advancement for me - the gym is the one place where I'm still not entirely used to being in a diaper, mostly because I've hardly gone since I officially stashed my boxers away, due to the pandemic, and scheduling. Then, home, shower, and into a Lil' Monster. Today is one of those rare and blessed diaper-and-a-shirt days, where both of my kids are out all day, it's just me and my wife at home, and I'll parade around with nothing over my diaper until I start to feel self-conscious about not really being dressed, which will probably happen around when I'm making myself lunch, while my wife is going about her business with makeup and decent clothes on, and I still look like a bum. A diapered bum. Well, a bum in a diaper and a golf shirt. I have to look professional from the chest up, for meetings. One must always remember to turn off one's camera before standing up...

[Little Sherri]

I don't have much time right now but I wanted to duck in and quickly note a couple of developments on the relationship front, from last night and this morning. Last night, my wife jokingly swatted me on the butt while I was walking up the stairs, and said "Get up there, diaper-pants!", which is the first time she's either made physical contact with, or really been jocular about my underwear. Then, this morning, she again called me "diaper pants"  while I was making her coffee, again, good-natured and joking - I was wearing athletic shorts and my diaper was pretty obvious. My sister used to call me "diaper pants" when I was a kid, and I didn't like it at the time, but now, I think I'll allow it. Having a choice about wearing diapers removes the sting a bit. 

I was immediately, strangely, mildly thrilled about this, because it struck me as a milestone somehow. Because the kids are physically in school for the latter part of the week, it's maybe been more obvious than usual that I am, indeed, wearing diapers all the time now, and although I don't think she had any doubts, we've never really spoken of it. It just is. 

Further development: she was emptying out a laundry basket of clothes that belonged to her, that she'd put aside much earlier this year, for eventual giving away and/or donation, and in amongst her items was one sad pair of my boxer shorts, stretched out and worn. She pulled them from the basket, said "Ha, look what I found!", and then said "You want me to toss these?" So I said "Yeah, toss them", and she walked them into the bathroom and dropped them into the garbage can. I'm not sure if she did that because they were obviously fairly worn, or, because I haven't had anything other than diapers in my dresser for at least a couple of months now. But she usually sorts the laundry, so I sort of assume she's noted their absence? It's another one of those things that I haven't made any official statements about. I haven't felt compelled to make an announcement along the lines of "Attention: I've put all my non-infantile underwear into a bag on a high shelf in the garage, and am attempting to operate solely in diapers. That is all." But I assume she gets the picture. 

[Stroller]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

But I assume she gets the picture. 

Well, congratulations from me to both of you.  Sounds like she's accepted you're going to be wearing, and is OK with living with it.  That's a big deal - it was for me anyway.

[Little Sherri]

4 hours ago, Stroller said:

Sounds like she's accepted you're going to be wearing, and is OK with living with it.

Thanks, @Stroller. She's been living with it since basically the end of March 2019, but I don't think she knew I was in diapers all the time; I started out by telling her that I was wearing them to bed, and then I started stretching out how long I was conspicuously in them in the morning, and then how early I was "getting ready for bed", to the point where she knew I was in diapers (on the days I worked from home) until mid-day, and she knew I put another one on as soon as I got home from the gym at around 9 PM. I had one on in between those hours as well, but I went with a slim one and wasn't obvious about it. 

In July we went to Europe and I packed only diapers, but, sharing a hotel room with the kids, I wasn't walking around half clothed, so I don't know if she realized what I had on during the day. 

Then - I'd have to look back in this thread to recall exactly when, but at some point after the kids went back to school and it was just her and I during the day - I decided, oh what the hell, and although I didn't explicitly say or announce anything, a couple of times late in the afternoon when I was getting changed out of my work clothes, and she was there, I just dropped my drawers and walked around our room in whatever diaper I had on. 

But from them until now, I pretty much just got a "I'm putting up with this" vibe from her. So her joking around and talking more openly about it over the last couple of weeks may be a sign that she has, as you said, accepted it, and that she's okay living with it. That, or she's bumped my life insurance up, and has started putting glass in my omelets. 

[oznl]

4 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

  So her joking around and talking more openly about it over the last couple of weeks may be a sign that she has, as you said, accepted it, and that she's okay living with it.

You’ve certainly made more progress on spousal acceptance than I’ve managed.

Whilst we’ve moved on from the tears and tantrums that marked the early days, I am yet to experience any positive gesture of tolerance.  It may well be that the cessation of active campaigning against my choice is as good as it gets.

Anything I say or do that hints at my unconventional underwear is likely to provide sighing, mournful gazes into the middle-distance and unfinished sentences.

The lexical Berlin wall remains firmly in place: mentions are made of my “washing”, “things” and allowances made for my periodic need to “shower”.

Perhaps if I was instead a serial killer, this would be at least tinged with glamour for her?

For the most part, we get along as a couple exceedingly well and I mostly don’t leak on the furniture so it’s not as bleak as it seems.

[Little Sherri]

A couple of notes from this weekend; first of all, after the "incident" from several days ago that I related, during which I spontaneously voided my bladder into my diaper while brushing my teeth, I've been playing around with trying to stop myself from weeing after I've started. I have had no further involuntary wettings, other than maybe at night, but during the day, everything seems to happen only by command from the control tower. BUT, a couple of times where I had gone maybe 30 minutes or so since the last time that I wet, because I was distracted, and I authorized a fluid transfer, I found myself struggling to stop the flow - the quantity would diminish, but a trickle would continue until basically there was almost no volume left. This may not be a "new" development, but it's new to me, because I basically never try to stop going once I've started - what would be the point. I always just let things play out and stop on their own. So now it would seem that stopping will be difficult at best, and sometimes impossible, and it certainly can't be expected to happen on a dime. But, I still have control over commencing wetting events. 

In other news, I put on a combination I don't wear very often - a Depends with a Pampers Cruiser size 7 stuffer. I went that route because I was brewing, and after brewing, I invariably take a shower, so I didn't want to waste an 8-hour diaper on a 4-hour project, but, a Depends by itself isn't reliable enough for confident wearing, so I put the stuffer in it. I am once again amazed by how much capacity that 42 lb+ child's diaper has, and how slim they are starting out, compared with their heft when full. I wish diapers like that existed back when I could fit into them - I probably could have worn one of those under basically any circumstances without being concerned about their bulk or the sound of them giving me away. 

Oh, to be able to travel back in time with the knowledge that I have today; if I could live those years over again, I'd like to think that I would have embraced being in diapers, kept them on as long as possible, proactively suggested that I wear one in the car, maybe spent entire weekends in them. Instead, I was wrestling with feelings of shame, but also contentment, and then shame from the contentment, which I thought must be "wrong" or "weird", and then layered on top of that was the social stigma that comes with wearing diapers when you're no longer in the typical age range for them. I had to contend with a lot of stress and anxiety that I probably could have completely sidestepped.

[oznl]

11 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

BUT, a couple of times where I had gone maybe 30 minutes or so since the last time that I wet, because I was distracted, and I authorized a fluid transfer, I found myself struggling to stop the flow - the quantity would diminish, but a trickle would continue until basically there was almost no volume left. This may not be a "new" development, but it's new to me, because I basically never try to stop going once I've started - what would be the point. I always just let things play out and stop on their own. So now it would seem that stopping will be difficult at best, and sometimes impossible, and it certainly can't be expected to happen on a dime. But, I still have control over commencing wetting events.

It's the same for me at this point.  In the interests of science, I just tried it whilst sitting now.

I can clench to NOT leak but an attempt to clench during one of those mini-gushes that happen periodically was 100% ineffective.  Firstly it was hard to even attempt, like moving a too-heavy boulder.  I'm not sure if this was physical or psychological.  Secondly when it DID move, it did nothing more than slightly slow the flow and it would dissipate into dripping, stopping when it was ready to stop.

A second attempt a few minutes later DID stop the flow but I couldn't keep it stopped, it just started again the moment I took my eye of the metaphysical ball.

It would seem that I'm still technically continent but like a packet of "CC"s, once I start, I just can't stop.

[Stroller]

6 hours ago, oznl said:

It's the same for me at this point.  In the interests of science, I just tried it whilst sitting now.

I can clench to NOT leak but an attempt to clench during one of those mini-gushes that happen periodically was 100% ineffective.  Firstly it was hard to even attempt, like moving a too-heavy boulder.  I'm not sure if this was physical or psychological.  Secondly when it DID move, it did nothing more than slightly slow the flow and it would dissipate into dripping, stopping when it was ready to stop.

A second attempt a few minutes later DID stop the flow but I couldn't keep it stopped, it just started again the moment I took my eye of the metaphysical ball.

It would seem that I'm still technically continent but like a packet of "CC"s, once I start, I just can't stop.

I've still no idea on this one.  I haven't tried to hold back or stop the flow for two years now, not even once.  Even in the days when I wasn't wearing at night I'd be in the bathroom as soon as I woke to make sure I didn't have to resist the urge.  I'd be surprised if I still had full control, but with luck I'll never haver to find out!

[Little Sherri]

Today is another one of those relatively rare "diaper days" where both kids are out of the house from early in the morning, and I have nothing on the agenda before late in the afternoon, other than working from home, so last night I put on a big diaper after I got back from the gym - a Rearz Elite - at about 9:30 PM. It's close to 11:00 AM now and I'd say that my diaper is only at maybe the half-way point, so most likely I'll be in it until about 3:00, when the kids are due back, making it a ~17 hour diaper. I was walking around in just it and a t-shirt for a good part of the morning, but I kind of became embarrassed by how wet it looks at the front - these have a wetness indicator that turns from yellow to blue, and the front is all blue, plus, being a white diaper, you can tell that the stuffing is a bit discoloured. So, after a prolonged conversation where I was seated at the top of our stairs, and my wife was standing at the bottom, and I could feel her gaze, I put some shorts on. I do love being in just a diaper, but it was feeling like a bit of a gratuitous pushing of her tolerance. This giant diaper isn't at all concealed by the shorts, but they do provide relief from the mute testimony of the running blue dye. 

I also had a revisit this morning of the "diaper pants" nickname that she's given me; I was about to carry a loaded organic bin out to the garage, outside across the front of the house (I had pulled on some athletic pants for this operation), when she said "Hang on there, diaper pants." I paused just outside the open door, with the bin held out in front of me, thinking that she maybe had something else to put into it, when she walked up behind me and tucked the back of my shirt into my pants - I guess the top of my diaper was showing back there. Which does not surprise me, because an Elite in size large goes at least a third of the way up my back. Nothing more was said, and I continued on my way after having been adjusted. It felt like a bit of a "motherly" act, and, again, I'm not sure exactly where I am on that - I got an immediate thrill from her rearranging my clothes over my diaper, but, as I've said before, "wife" and "mom" are pretty separate roles in my psyche, and I don't know that I want her to take more of an active role with respect to this aspect of my existence. But, at the same time, if the "price" I have to pay for having the freedom to be in diapers all the time is that I have to put up with her becoming more opinionated, assertive, or just cavalier, in relation to my infantile underpants, I guess I have to acknowledge that it could be a lot worse. 

[Little Sherri]

Further update about this Rearz Elite - I forgot that I had set up an appointment to go look at a snowblower that I have been thinking of buying, and when I realized that the agreed-upon time was coming up, I contacted the guy and asked if we could push it back - he agreed. Why did I do that? Because I don't want to get out of this diaper any earlier than I absolutely have to. It's just so comfy, and it still has lots of range left in it. Have any of you ever done that - delayed something or other just to spend more time in a great diaper? I think this may be where I'm supposed to look in the mirror and say "I have a problem." But if this is wrong, then I don't want to be right. I'm going to have to change my shorts again, though, because I chose some light running shorts to throw over it when I became self-conscious about walking around in a conspicuously wet diaper, crossing paths with my wife every few minutes. I wanted something that covered it but didn't conceal it, but now it is bulging comically, and I'm becoming self-conscious again. It may be cargo shorts time, although right now she is watching TV and sorting clothing in our room, so the swap will have to occur under her nose, unless I nonchalantly walk in, retrieve the shorts, and walk out like it's nothing unusual to go change in another part of the house, rather than in our room. 

[BedWetMark]

4 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

Further update about this Rearz Elite - I forgot that I had set up an appointment to go look at a snowblower that I have been thinking of buying, and when I realized that the agreed-upon time was coming up, I contacted the guy and asked if we could push it back - he agreed. Why did I do that?

Yes.

I've found myself over the last couple of months ensuring that a meeting does not clash with a time when I think I should change.  Based upon how well I know the nappy and my body, I can estimate that I will need to change at x o'clock and I have moved meetings to ensure I get a little time to do this. Although one meeting I was 10 mins late to as I "had a bathroom break", ahem. Basically I'd sprung a leak and leaks are annoying as it generally means clothes and seating will smell ... bad, so I act on this fast. 

To your original point, I have pushed back (for example) tradesmen coming to the house to quote, because I was at peak nappy usage and I have made every excuse under the sun to not do x, y or z because I was fairly clean and VERY comfortable.

It is times like that when I wish I didn't love this so much, but then, it's time like now when I'm sat here ready for bed in a fresh Tykables and bodysuit/vest, that I do love this.  I'm actually working late to get a document done, wife and child are long gone to bed, but this is my time. Yes. 

[oznl]

9 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

Today is another one of those relatively rare "diaper days" where both kids are out of the house from early in the morning, and I have nothing on the agenda before late in the afternoon

One of those days here:  workload has been gutted as I wind down towards redundancy, just a couple of handover meetings with my lower-cost, off-shored replacements in the afternoon, wife at her office, daughter actually at university (quel horreur!!)...  A combination of deep apathy and fiscal conservatism sees me in a t-shirt and my favorite Rearz "Omutsu" cloth nappy (the penguins!) under milky white plastic pants and nothing else as it's quite warm now and this combo is very comfortable, if a little visually confronting to the uninitiated.

The postman always rings twice...

[Little Sherri]

We've had our first frost warnings, and one of the next items on my agenda is bringing down the winter tires and booking their installation. We won't actually have snow until at least November, possibly December, but, once that happens, everyone who installs winter tires is booked for a month. Once the daily temperature consistently falls below 10 degrees, I prefer to get it done. I've done it myself on occasion as well, but now our cars have those newfangled tire pressure sensors, and you have to pay to have those synchronized anyway, so, my theory is, why get my hands dirty? 

Added to that is the fact that we've sold our house and are going to commence moving shortly; we have a mercifully long time with access to both the new and the old house, so that takes some of the pressure off, but, the clock and the calendar are relentless opponents. 

I bring this up because long time readers (both of you) will recall that a few months back, I relegated my boxer shorts to a bag that I stuffed up with my winter tires, which hang on a rack from the ceiling of my garage. I wanted to see how long I could go without need of access to them, given that the last place that I regularly wore them, being the gym, was at the time closed down by the pandemic, and when it reopened, we were no longer allowed physical contact during marital arts training, so, I am able to wear a diaper there. I also figured out how to run with a diaper on. 

The results of the trial are conclusive: I apparently don't need them. So, the question becomes, dear reader, do I move them to the new house? Or do I just pack up that bag and put it at the curb on garbage day? The only thing that might cause me to need to go buy more would be if the gym once again allowed contact during training, but given that the pandemic numbers are on a tear back up into the triple digits, that's not happening anytime soon. If, in some distant, unimaginable future, post vaccine or whatever, gym life goes back to normal, I suppose I could go spend $10 at Walmart and I'd be returned to full capability. Although, at that point, I *think* I would probably try wearing a slim diaper under a onesie. Maybe. The idea of engaging in hand-to-hand combat with secret underwear on still unnerves me. But that is a 2021 or 2022 Sherri problem, not a 2020 Sherri problem. 

The idea of tossing out my boxer shorts is both thrilling, and a little daunting, which makes me think that I should just do it. 

Do any of you 24/7 diapernauts still keep some big boy (or big girl) undies kicking around, or have most of you long since parted ways with the tyranny of thin cotton undergarments? Have you ever had to make an emergency run to the department store? Are there any circumstances you've encountered that you couldn't negotiate with a diaper on? From my perspective, I think I can get break away completely. But I'm wondering if there are problems over the horizon that I'm not thinking of. 

[dribblez]

Congratulations on the move. Are you moving out to the sticks? A while back I discovered Letterkenny, and while I can't pretend to understand swathes of the dialogue, it is very amusing. So will you be joining the hicks?

As for your question, I was down to my last two pairs of boxers when my wife decided to buy me a new pack a couple of months ago. But they are at least 2 sizes up from what I would normally wear. I'm not sure, but I think she intended them to be used as diaper covers. They remain unused, and nothing more has been said.

 

[Stroller]

4 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

The idea of tossing out my boxer shorts is both thrilling, and a little daunting, which makes me think that I should just do it. 

Do any of you 24/7 diapernauts still keep some big boy (or big girl) undies kicking around, or have most of you long since parted ways with the tyranny of thin cotton undergarments? Have you ever had to make an emergency run to the department store? Are there any circumstances you've encountered that you couldn't negotiate with a diaper on? From my perspective, I think I can get break away completely. But I'm wondering if there are problems over the horizon that I'm not thinking of.

Mine have all gone, and my wife knows it.  The chance of an emergency backtrack is vanishingly small.  I've hit nothing so far that cased major problems, but I'm sure it'll happen at some point.  The resolution is pretty unlikely to involve backing out of wearing full-time though.

[Newbee]

Even though I wear because I have to I actually only got rid of my big girl underwear a couple of months ago I was using them as diaper covers but now use plastic pants.

you need to do what feels right for you and if that’s means throwing them out then do it just remember if the need arises that you need them you can go to a store a buy a new pair.

[oznl]

This is a “heart vs head” question and only you can answer it.  That you’re even asking it evidences that your heart has already spoken.

Your head would tell you that a bag of grown up underwear is a completely uncontroversial and unremarkable insurance policy for any ineffable scenarios that has in the scheme or things, practically zero opportunity cost.

Your heart is telling you that a bag of underwear, even in the attic, is a deadname, at best an ellipsis to your former self where you are looking for the full stop.

It’s your call.

I’m such a rationalist.  I’ve still got a pair of underwear.  I must be partly a romanticist because somehow, I’ve managed to “lose” the rest of it.  The remaining pair was lurking in my gym bag like a troll under a bridge.  It’s saggy, sweat-stained and altogether as visually embarrassing as a nappy would be.

[Kittytrain]

On 10/7/2020 at 3:59 PM, Little Sherri said:

I also had a revisit this morning of the "diaper pants" nickname that she's given me; I was about to carry a loaded organic bin out to the garage, outside across the front of the house (I had pulled on some athletic pants for this operation), when she said "Hang on there, diaper pants." I paused just outside the open door, with the bin held out in front of me, thinking that she maybe had something else to put into it, when she walked up behind me and tucked the back of my shirt into my pants - I guess the top of my diaper was showing back there.

Sounds like you've got a spouse that's just looking out for you there, I mean, if she'd been heading out the front door and you noticed she'd accidentality tucked her skirt into her knickers but had her hands full, you'd just have done the same for her and covered her underwear right? But you wouldn't have thought you were babying her would you?  Your wife seems pretty cool with your choice of underwear from here.

As for the underwear of days gone by? I think you class as a diaper wearer now after all this time, you've shown that you can wear in all situations so far, and it seems your Wife's first thought when she found some was to get rid of them. I guess she knows that you don't need them any more! :D

I'm sure you can find a way to wear a light diaper to the gym class when that comes around (and if it's another year of progress away you might not want to take the risk of not wearing by then?). As oznl suggests, I think you know what you want to do.

Literally the worst thing that could happen is you have to buy another pair someday or wear a light diaper.

And as someone who probably still has unopened boxes of stuff from my last house move cluttering up corners of the 'new' house many years later, it sounds like an opportunity not to miss! :D

[herb330]

On 10/8/2020 at 10:27 AM, Little Sherri said:

We've had our first frost warnings, and one of the next items on my agenda is bringing down the winter tires and booking their installation. We won't actually have snow until at least November, possibly December, but, once that happens, everyone who installs winter tires is booked for a month. Once the daily temperature consistently falls below 10 degrees, I prefer to get it done. I've done it myself on occasion as well, but now our cars have those newfangled tire pressure sensors, and you have to pay to have those synchronized anyway, so, my theory is, why get my hands dirty? 

Added to that is the fact that we've sold our house and are going to commence moving shortly; we have a mercifully long time with access to both the new and the old house, so that takes some of the pressure off, but, the clock and the calendar are relentless opponents. 

I bring this up because long time readers (both of you) will recall that a few months back, I relegated my boxer shorts to a bag that I stuffed up with my winter tires, which hang on a rack from the ceiling of my garage. I wanted to see how long I could go without need of access to them, given that the last place that I regularly wore them, being the gym, was at the time closed down by the pandemic, and when it reopened, we were no longer allowed physical contact during marital arts training, so, I am able to wear a diaper there. I also figured out how to run with a diaper on. 

The results of the trial are conclusive: I apparently don't need them. So, the question becomes, dear reader, do I move them to the new house? Or do I just pack up that bag and put it at the curb on garbage day? The only thing that might cause me to need to go buy more would be if the gym once again allowed contact during training, but given that the pandemic numbers are on a tear back up into the triple digits, that's not happening anytime soon. If, in some distant, unimaginable future, post vaccine or whatever, gym life goes back to normal, I suppose I could go spend $10 at Walmart and I'd be returned to full capability. Although, at that point, I *think* I would probably try wearing a slim diaper under a onesie. Maybe. The idea of engaging in hand-to-hand combat with secret underwear on still unnerves me. But that is a 2021 or 2022 Sherri problem, not a 2020 Sherri problem. 

The idea of tossing out my boxer shorts is both thrilling, and a little daunting, which makes me think that I should just do it. 

Do any of you 24/7 diapernauts still keep some big boy (or big girl) undies kicking around, or have most of you long since parted ways with the tyranny of thin cotton undergarments? Have you ever had to make an emergency run to the department store? Are there any circumstances you've encountered that you couldn't negotiate with a diaper on? From my perspective, I think I can get break away completely. But I'm wondering if there are problems over the horizon that I'm not thinking of. 

I have been 24/7 for a few years.  All of my non diapers have been remvoed or thrown out.  I have n choice but to wear diapers of which my wife changes me.

[Little Sherri]

On 10/8/2020 at 9:01 PM, oznl said:

Your heart is telling you that a bag of underwear, even in the attic, is a deadname, at best an ellipsis to your former self where you are looking for the full stop.

I think this is it in a nutshell. As long as they're in the house, I'll always have a ripcord I can pull that would slow this wild ride. Even though one could easily, 1) just go commando, or repurpose a pair of shorts as boxers, or, 2) drop $7 at the local department store and be returned to full adult functionality. Well, from a wardrobe perspective, anyway. 

I may take the initiative this week. 

It was a busy Thanksgiving weekend of cancelled and/or curtailed social gatherings, in deference to the rising pandemic numbers. We have to remember not to become too complacent or smug up here in the soon-to-be frozen north; the situation south of the border has been repeatedly likened to a dumpster fire, but even if, for us, only the kitchen garbage can is smoldering, it's still not an ideal situation. The smell of burning garbage still hangs over your morning coffee. 

We did manage a socially-distanced sharing of beverages on perhaps the last really nice evening of the year, with temperatures hanging in the high teens into the wee hours. I test drove my "diaper pants" over a Bambino Magnifico in medium, which is a diaper of uncommon construction - I can comment on it in detail because I'm in one again right now. These are the only high-capacity diapers I have that are built around stretchy wings. This does allow them to sag somewhat when they start to become saturated, but, the Velcro-like tabs are very tenacious, and a quick snugging of them solves that problem. Basically, you start with the tabs at the outside edges of the front landing strip, and 6 or 8 hours later, you might pull them in 1/4 of the way on each side, and then again a few hours after that. 

I found myself doing exactly that when we were in our friends' backyard over the weekend; after a few sociable beers, I excused myself to "go use the facilities", and I did catch a slightly quizzical look from my spouse at that moment. However, I was only removing myself from view momentarily so that I could snug up my diaper. As a side note to that, though, I have wondered on occasion whether anyone has noted my camel-like abilities to store liquid - there have been a number of occasions over the last 18 months where, eventually, everyone I was out with excused themselves to use the loo, often more than once, and there I sat, unperturbed. Have any of you found yourself occasionally faking a bathroom trip? I've only done it a couple of times, including one horrifying incident where I went to "use the washroom" and was followed by a client into a large changeroom at an industrial facility that had a bank of urinals on the wall, and no other facilities in that same space, except a sink. I guess they have separate pooping quarters. Being at work, I was, of course, wearing a onesie, so there was no way in hell I could unsnap without digging preposterously inside my trousers, forcing me to unzip my pants and then lean heavily into the urinal and pantomime a short wee, while hoping that the guy wouldn't venture a glimpse my way, and see that I was cupping my hands around some bulging white t-shirt material that disappeared into the abyss below my zipper. 

But, as is often the case, I digress. My point in launching into this was to note that my newly-purchased diaper pants did their job well, and I was able to wear a high-capacity diaper out to a social event. My wife has not used the "diaper pants" term of endearment again since the last time I wrote about it, although, in addition to the interrogative glance she shot me when I said I was going to the washroom, there was one other moment when she acknowledged the elephant in my pants: our friends have two older girls and a much younger son, who is about three. At one point they mentioned that they were "nearly done with diapers", because he's only wearing them at night, and my wife pinned me with her gaze and said, "I remember when we were done with diapers, don't you?", and I said something brilliant like "Yup, yup, sure do.", and sipped my beer, and felt a slight creeping redness come up my cheeks, which I'm sure was hidden by the low light. 

[Little Sherri]

I just watched a video someone posted a link to here, of a woman walking around in a metropolitan area wearing a diaper and a bikini top; it was sort of a "just for laughs" hidden-camera scenario. I was surprised that everyone's reactions seemed pretty muted, although obviously, we only saw what the editors wanted us to see. Personally, I've always wanted to be able to walk around outside in just a diaper, but, I have no interest in doing that in a public space. Maybe if I rent a secluded cottage or something. I have seen pictures of myself wearing a diaper at a beach as a kid, but I have no recollection at all of being in that situation; trying to claim that I recalled anything would be engaging in pure fantasy, so it evidently wasn't overly traumatic. I have some recollections of being outdoors in a diaper, at my parents cottage when I was a little older, but that was always momentary, dashing from a tent to the main building, or up from the dock. I never just hung around that way, because neighbours came walking down the driveway all the time when they were out on walks, or sometimes traversed our property along the waterfront, following a trail that ran around our area. I recall jacking my shorts up to almost my chest, like an old man, if I was running around with no shirt on, and someone dropped by for a visit, because I wanted to make sure there was no chance they'd slide down and reveal the top of my diaper. 

Today is cold and rainy, and the house is empty except for my wife, so I could in theory be in just a diaper, but it's chilly and I don't want it that badly. I have some athletic pants on over a Crinklz, which is the printed version of a BetterDry. I enjoy the freedom and the feeling of being in just a diaper, but, I also don't mind how it feels when something over it holds it snug - I guess they're both "not unpleasant" in their own way. Having something on over it feels more "authentic" - it was pretty rare for me to wear a diaper with nothing on over it, when I was a kid. 

Even after all this time, I can still luxuriate in, and get a bit a of a glow, from wearing a diaper freely - it still tickles me that I "wear diapers" again. So, I guess I'm not bored with this. If I had to be perfectly honest, I'd say that I'm engaging in some petty exhibitionism with my wife these days - when it's just her and I in the house, I like if my diaper shows a bit, maybe because the rest of the time I'm very locked-down about it. 

I am curious about if I'll ever reverse course; I have seen a lot of people here talk about "binge and purge" cycles with this hobby. Right now I can't imagine wanting to rid myself of my inventory or change my wearing preferences, but I also haven't been hit with any major stressors - maybe if my wife said "Find a new place to live", I'd have a change of heart. I don't seem to be headed toward that outcome right now, though - last night she said that she likes how my new baby powder smells, compared with what I was using previously. Those aren't the words of someone who is at the end of their rope. Although my wife is sensitive to smells - some detergents give her headaches. My previous baby powder had a faint lilac scent, and she recently bought me two bottle of the original Johnson's powder, which smells exactly like, well, baby powder, whatever that scent is. It's the same scent they infuse into Pampers. If anyone knows what it's derived from, I'd be curious to hear. 

Outside of some massive structural change - a new career, a new marriage, new roommate, whatever - what causes people to suddenly want to shed their "stash" and go back to conventional underwear? Is there diaper burnout? Is it guilt? Persistent diaper rash? 

[oznl]

12 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

Outside of some massive structural change - a new career, a new marriage, new roommate, whatever - what causes people to suddenly want to shed their "stash" and go back to conventional underwear? Is there diaper burnout? Is it guilt? Persistent diaper rash? 

I know that in my case, all thoughts about packing in this insane venture (and I DO have those thoughts sometimes) are in reflection to external pressures to be “normal”.  I cannot recall any sustained thoughts of wanting to “go straight” (to borrow another minority’s metaphor) that came from within. 

There have been odd moments: like when I realise that I’ve leaked AGAIN, or that it’s hot and a fluffy fresh nappy isn’t going to help, or how nice it might be to go from a swim without a convoluted entry and exit strategy.  These make me think how much simpler things could be if I wasn’t diapered but those thoughts don’t linger.  I don’t act on them because I anticipate that the longer-term regret would swiftly eclipse the transient relief they would offer.

That and the entirely foreseeable scenario that after a few hours I’d forget about my change of heart and accidentally pee my pants somewhere.

I’d promised myself that if I hit any wall with this (diaper burnout), I’d simply stop wearing.  The point of reverting to diapers was to make me more happy, not less.  So far that hasn’t happened.  It may yet.  I don’t know.  Others who have been 24/7 for much longer than us may advise.

[BlakeJordan]

In my experience and those I’ve gotten to know who embark upon this journey...

We have found that this need is at its core, a need to match up our bodies with our identity.

I personally don’t think sustained desire for 24/7 wearing could last beyond a couple months if there wasn’t a drive within that pushed us to wear to feel “normal”, it’s this need to feel normal that pushes us to continue past the hype and fantasy. We are, without wearing at a lower level baseline of well being.

Speaking again from the collective experience, what tends to push those of us that fit into this category out of diapers is unforeseen life circumstances. Usually it’s the lesser of two bad options. Sometimes relationships, sometimes the direction that our life takes and the inability to live the rest of ones life as they need, it could be finances, or it could be health issues, as was the case in my original run. To rule out variables on an unknown disease I ended up retraining (this was after 18 months in, and over a year of seeing docs daily).

As it turns out, that particular disease I was the first documented case, and it eventually led to the domino effect of downstream issues, specifically dysatonimia and small fiber neuropathy that ended up taking that choice away due to nerve damage of the bladder.

Life is funny sometimes, I know of a shrimp boat captain that likened it to a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get...