The Fight

[Incontinent Jennifer]

Jeff and I were at his parent's house earlier tonight, and the topic of our wedding came up. It sparked a big fight.

(Mom and Dad below are his parents) It's probably not verbatim, but more than then jist is here. I'm still in shock. All this over something I can't help.

Dad: I can't believe you're marring her!

Jeff: Why? I love her.

Dad: You really want to be changing your wife's diapers for the rest of your life.

Jeff: Yes. I love her, I'm happy to help.

Dad: That's disgusting!

Jeff: Then you don't have to come to the handfasting.

Dad: Fine, your mom and I will stay home.

Mom: Damn it [Name removed]! Speak for yourself. I'm proud he can see past something like that and love her for who she is. She's a great person. What are you going to do if it ever happened to me? Leave?!

Dad: We'd fix it fast!

*Jeff is now standing, and I stood to stay close to him*

Mom: You aren't the same as when we married.

*I try to excuse myself to change my now messy diaper. Ugh, I always have horrible timing*

Dad: Where you going?

Me: I... I have to go take care of something.

Dad: You crap yourself again?

*out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jeff's fists clench*

Me: Ye..yes. I'm sorry, I'll go take care of it right away.

Dad: That's disgusting! I think you should should have to sit in it.

Me: What would my discomfort accomplish?

Dad: You learned it once, you could learn it again.

*I heard Jeff's teeth grind. Later found out, he actually cracked one!*

Me: [in tears] I can't help it. What did I ever do to you?! You're such an asshole!

Dad: What did you just call me?!

*He shoves me in to a chair*

Dad: Filthty little bitch!

Pow! *Jeff decks his father hard enough we could all hear it hit, I think he broke his nose!"

Jeff: I don't care who you are, leave your hands off my beloved. You hurt her, I hurt you!

Mom: [Name], I've had enough. You're mean and violent. I want a divorce!

Leaving the rest of the dialog out...

I offered Jeff's mom our home, she'll stay with us for a while.

I hate violence, but I'm so happy Jeff will defend me.

I kinda feel like I'm in some weird soap opera. I don't care, as long as I get to keep Jeff.

[Valentine]

I'm sorry to hear that Jeff's dad is such an asshole, I think that is an accurate term, but I am glad that his mom can see past a minor physical problem. I hope that everything works out for you and Jeff, congratulations by the way. And I hope that things work out for your soon to be mother-in-law.

[Incomplete Dude]

That's so horrible, but I'm glad you have someone that cares so deeply for you. Certainly, if my father did that to someone I was going to marry, I don't think I'd stop with one punch. Just reading it makes me so angry. Oh well, maybe you can charge him with assault, and give him a serious criminal record, so he can kiss his career good-bye. Leave him with nothing.

Anyways, I hope your marriage is otherwise wonderful, and turns out one thousand times better than this.

[It's A Boy!]

That is really one of the saddest things I've ever heard. I'm so sorry your fiance's husband can't see past your disability. I hope that the father apologizes and tries to get to know you as a person, and I hope your fiance can come to some sort of peace with his father. If anything, though, this shows how strong your relationship is. Congrats on the wedding, that's wonderful news! I'm sure if you guys can make it through this, you can make it through anything.

[shadylane]

Jennifer, wow, that is terrible. What an ass that guy is.

I've been reading some of your posts for a while and I feel like I know you well enough to know that you're a strong woman, and you and Jeff will get through it. Best wishes. We're all here for you.

Shady

[Three Rivers]

Jennifer,

Best wishes to you. I hope everything works out.

[Guest diamondback688]

man that guy is an ass! i wouldve decked him too...

[nappyloon]

I would have the potential father-in-law drugged and get him a Botox injection in the relevant "spincter" muscles of his bladder and possibly backside-I wonder what his reaction to you would be then ?

Seriously though, I hope it all works out despite the "out-law" and he is obviously not worth bothering about anyway!

Tha fact that you two stuck together during all this says volumes about your characters-get married soon as you are so made to be together.

"BE HAPPY IN YOUR NAPPY"

[leafgoalie]

Hi Jennifer!

First of all, Congratulations!!!!!!! From what I read of your posts, you have found a wonderful guy, and I know you will have many yuears of happiness.

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation Jeff's dad put you in. I can't believe anyone could be that insensitive and cruel toward his son and the one he loves. Obviously Jeff's dad has some anger issues or some head problems, or both. I don't condone violence, but I'm glad Jeff stuck up for you. The dad had no right to verbally or physically abuse you. From what you describe of the mom, she sounds like she likes you and accepts you. One thing to present to Jeff: Has his dad changed his personality drastically over the last couple of years? If so it is possible he may have had some mini strokes or may be affected by some substance that is getting into his system. I don't want to defend his behaviour, but sometimes a change in behaviour is a sign that their brain has suffered some damage. If not then he just qualified for the "Idiot of the Year" award.

Jeff will obviously shed some light on how his dad is typically. Don't let someone else's problems interfere with your joy. If the dad apologizes and has a change of heart, then all will be well. If he continues to be an idiot, then he doesn't deserve to attend your wedding. You should decide what you are comfortable with, and who gets to come. Celebrate with Jeff's Mom and the rest of his family. We're celebrating with you here as well.

Congratulations and all the best to you both!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Danni]

Hi Jennifer,

Congratulations on your future wedding plans!

Its really terrible to hear that your future father in law is a self centered narscissistic unmorelistic biggot! I cannot fathom someone actually saying those words right in front of his own son, It not only hurt him, it also hurt you and Jeffs' mother!

If it was my dad who acted like that, I would've smacked him too!

Jeff sounds like a great person , I wish the best for both of you.

Your future father in law obviosly has issues. Like leafgoalie said, maybe he has some sort of mental illness. Possibly some kind of treatment will help him.

Its nice that Jeffs' mom accepts you for who you are.

Best wishes for the both of you****

***hugs***

Dann

[InDpnds]

Good for you and Jeff for sticking to your guns! I woulda popped the ol' man one, too! But we gotta consider the ol' man needs to get into the 21st century first. Or let's just say he needs to get to the 20th century before anything else can happen! Probably a good thing you didn't show up in a wheelchair, or that would have started WWIII! Then again, what would happen if the ol' man has a stroke or Parkinson's or MS and ends up incontinent. That can happen, y'know! I'm pleased your future mother-in-law has much more realistic views of the way things are. But I know you guys are going to make it and be a terrific team!

[Digital2k7]

Go Jen. =)

It does sound like a soap opera. This is never good.

But I'm glad you're gonna tie the knott! Yay! Wedding bells! =)

Now if only that bf of mine would propose... <_>

Err..sorry. Good luck!

[Incontinent Jennifer]

Go Jen. =)

It does sound like a soap opera. This is never good.

But I'm glad you're gonna tie the knott! Yay! Wedding bells! =)

Now if only that bf of mine would propose... <_>

Err..sorry. Good luck!

Girls can propose to her guy, there is no rulebook saying she can't!

[dogpiss]

Not to sound like a dick or defend Jeff's dad, but is it possible he was drunk? If not, maybe is he one of those guys who's an a-hole when he sobers up? Not trying to give Jeff's dad an excuse so much as a chance at redemption. Goodness knows I've had problems with girlfriend's parents, but I usually just left it as sending them shotty birthday gifts (like a box of 13 assorted vinyl flooring samples). If he's going to yell and be an anal wart, that's one thing but if the bastard starts smacking you around, that AGAINST THE LAW! I'm not sure how Jeff would take it, but if there is ever another meeting, have it on video tape and if he puts his hands on you, take it to the police. In some cases, some states have domestic assault laws that up the charges to something more serious than if he were to take a swing at some unknown in a bar somewhere. Chin up and we're here for you, for what it's worth.

Your Dawg,

DP

[Incontinent Jennifer]

Not to sound like a dick or defend Jeff's dad, but is it possible he was drunk? If not, maybe is he one of those guys who's an a-hole when he sobers up? Not trying to give Jeff's dad an excuse so much as a chance at redemption. Goodness knows I've had problems with girlfriend's parents, but I usually just left it as sending them shotty birthday gifts (like a box of 13 assorted vinyl flooring samples). If he's going to yell and be an anal wart, that's one thing but if the bastard starts smacking you around, that AGAINST THE LAW! I'm not sure how Jeff would take it, but if there is ever another meeting, have it on video tape and if he puts his hands on you, take it to the police. In some cases, some states have domestic assault laws that up the charges to something more serious than if he were to take a swing at some unknown in a bar somewhere. Chin up and we're here for you, for what it's worth.

Your Dawg,

DP

His dad has always been like this to me since he found out I wear diapers.

[Incontinent Jennifer]

Hi Jennifer!

First of all, Congratulations!!!!!!! From what I read of your posts, you have found a wonderful guy, and I know you will have many yuears of happiness.

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation Jeff's dad put you in. I can't believe anyone could be that insensitive and cruel toward his son and the one he loves. Obviously Jeff's dad has some anger issues or some head problems, or both. I don't condone violence, but I'm glad Jeff stuck up for you. The dad had no right to verbally or physically abuse you. From what you describe of the mom, she sounds like she likes you and accepts you. One thing to present to Jeff: Has his dad changed his personality drastically over the last couple of years? If so it is possible he may have had some mini strokes or may be affected by some substance that is getting into his system. I don't want to defend his behaviour, but sometimes a change in behaviour is a sign that their brain has suffered some damage. If not then he just qualified for the "Idiot of the Year" award.

Jeff will obviously shed some light on how his dad is typically. Don't let someone else's problems interfere with your joy. If the dad apologizes and has a change of heart, then all will be well. If he continues to be an idiot, then he doesn't deserve to attend your wedding. You should decide what you are comfortable with, and who gets to come. Celebrate with Jeff's Mom and the rest of his family. We're celebrating with you here as well.

Congratulations and all the best to you both!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeff says his dad has always been that way. He seems to think that if I went to the bathroom often enough, I wouldn't need diapers.

He also thinks I'm disgusting. I guess that was one way to get his attention off Paganism.

His mom told me, that if I ever needed help and Jeff wasn't around, all I'd have to do is ask.

That's definately nice, even though I can do it myself. I'm not sure his mom knows I can though.

She did help me clean up the gash on my head (when I fell on the chair, I hit my head on another piece of furniture).

His mom has a bit of a fear of offending me though. She's even appologized when she said something about nearly wetting herself laughing. Not sure what to do about that.

[Acecool]

Jenn, there will always be assholes like Jeffs dad around. It is good that Jeff did not turn out like his father and you both will be very happy together and I wish the both of you all the best :-)

If I knew Jeffs dad, I wouldve done the same thing, because I lived in the same situation, my dad was an ass and did many bad things, luckily I changed my ways when I was still young.. But, I do not want to hijack your thread, so just pay Jeffs dad no mind.

Anyone can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father. Jeffs dad is not one of those men.

[AutieAB]

Anyone can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father.

So true..........

[leafgoalie]

Hi Jennifer!

If Jeff's father has always been like that, then you'll probably just have to write him off. Obviously he's narrow minded and doesn't take the time to understand incontinence. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal for others to deal with. It really doesn't affet him personally and he should be proud of a son who cares for you no bmatter what. That is true love. The fact that you're a wonderful person who loves his son, should be important to him. People like frequently don't change their mind. It would be interesting to see what his attitude would be if he had any surgery on his prostrate and had to wear them himself. Hopewfully he doesn't, but it would be the best lesson. Maybe giving him some literature on incontinence will convince him. At least it will show him that you are trying to establish a relationship. Be prepared to be met with more narrowmindedness though. It will probably take a lot of time for him to change his mind if he is able to do that. He probalby isn't much on humor, but what I'd be tempted to say, if I was in the situation, would be "When my diaper is full of s**t I change it ... you should consider doing the same with your attitiudes because they're about to overflow!"

As far as his Mom goes, it sounds like she wants to accommodate you but just is not sure what to do or say. I find humor is a great tool for loosening people up. If she mentions wetting her pants again, just lean over to her and tell her that she's welcome to dip into your supply if she needs to. You could probably tell her to not be uptight about it. It's a fact for you and you are willing to talk to her about it anytime, other than in an open public place perhaps. Let her know it doesn't bother you, and that you appreciate the fact that she cares for you.

Once again, congratulations to you both and I hope you have taken time to celebrate your decision.

Take care!

[ajc2000]

wow.....

Good for jeff you should of gave him a good slap or full on punch as well.

Made me angry just reading it.

Think everyone else above me has said the rest so I will just say I hope the best for your future life together.

bye

[b0xer21]

i honestly didn't know people were actually like that. i mean come on, its not like you can help your incontinence. and even if you could, it doesn't matter...why would anyone let something like that get in the way of a wonderful future together...its not like it ruins you as a person. i'm glad jeff rocked his head...and you were extremely polite given the situation. i want to apologize, but i'm some guy on the internet that honestly has no involvement...but i hate that this happened to you. this jeff guy...is a keeper. or at least, i'm a fan of his. hope this whole situation dissolves...and i want to hear about it. because right now i'm kinda grinding my teeth at that prick who said that to you. grrrrrrrrrrr

[dpr13ca]

There is only one thing that would fix a jerk like Jeff's dad and that would be him getting prostate cancer and becoming impotent and incontinent from the treatments and then getting no support from anyone with it.

Hang in there jennifer and jeff,you two are great

[:gremlin]

It would be fun if you could get jeffs dads doctor to give him some clindamycin. its a antibotic. after the second day he would want a diaper. that stuff cleans you out and gives you the runs that hit you with out worning.

[redneck diaper boy]

You know, the world is full of "assholes". My ex wife use to beat my kids for potty accidents. To make a long story short, a judge threw her out and I got my kids.

Jeff and I were at his parent's house earlier tonight, and the topic of our wedding came up. It sparked a big fight.

(Mom and Dad below are his parents) It's probably not verbatim, but more than then jist is here. I'm still in shock. All this over something I can't help.

Dad: I can't believe you're marring her!

Jeff: Why? I love her.

Dad: You really want to be changing your wife's diapers for the rest of your life.

Jeff: Yes. I love her, I'm happy to help.

Dad: That's disgusting!

Jeff: Then you don't have to come to the handfasting.

Dad: Fine, your mom and I will stay home.

Mom: Damn it [Name removed]! Speak for yourself. I'm proud he can see past something like that and love her for who she is. She's a great person. What are you going to do if it ever happened to me? Leave?!

Dad: We'd fix it fast!

*Jeff is now standing, and I stood to stay close to him*

Mom: You aren't the same as when we married.

*I try to excuse myself to change my now messy diaper. Ugh, I always have horrible timing*

Dad: Where you going?

Me: I... I have to go take care of something.

Dad: You crap yourself again?

*out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jeff's fists clench*

Me: Ye..yes. I'm sorry, I'll go take care of it right away.

Dad: That's disgusting! I think you should should have to sit in it.

Me: What would my discomfort accomplish?

Dad: You learned it once, you could learn it again.

*I heard Jeff's teeth grind. Later found out, he actually cracked one!*

Me: [in tears] I can't help it. What did I ever do to you?! You're such an asshole!

Dad: What did you just call me?!

*He shoves me in to a chair*

Dad: Filthty little bitch!

Pow! *Jeff decks his father hard enough we could all hear it hit, I think he broke his nose!"

Jeff: I don't care who you are, leave your hands off my beloved. You hurt her, I hurt you!

Mom: [Name], I've had enough. You're mean and violent. I want a divorce!

Leaving the rest of the dialog out...

I offered Jeff's mom our home, she'll stay with us for a while.

I hate violence, but I'm so happy Jeff will defend me.

I kinda feel like I'm in some weird soap opera. I don't care, as long as I get to keep Jeff.

[Guest]

You know, the world is full of "assholes". My ex wife use to beat my kids for potty accidents. To make a long story short, a judge threw her out and I got my kids.

*gasp* Can I go find her and beat her?