Is the road to transgender dignity paved with adult diapers

[cruxshadow]

5 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

The lack of sanitary concern for the next person who needs that facility is appalling and a statement of sorts about what our societies are truly like at heart.

I agree. I had some stomach issues early this term, which I now discover was likely due to an E.

[Baby Brian]

On 11/20/2015, 10:28:29, Elfking said:

And for TG people who don't have the operation? Or before the operation?

There is this unjustified fear that allowing TG people to use the correct bathroom would create a problem with perverts saying they are TG just to snoop on girls when that just isn't a reality. Thousands of TG women and men are walking a minefield every time they need to use the bathroom just because of a worry that a few non-TG who may be perverts will use it as an excuse.

This is actually a huge issue for TG people who do risk a lot of things just to go to the bathroom. A MtF person for instance, they go in the female bathroom and they risk being labeled a pervert, being kicked out of wherever they are. Go into the male bathroom and there is a fear of violence. Not to mention the humiliation at having your passport, medical records, etc all say female but being told you have to use the other genders bathroom still.

Whether you have a penis or vagina shouldn't be the be all and end all of which bathroom you visit.

I don't mean to be confrontational or aggressive here but yesterday was TG day of remembrance. Things like the "bathroom problem" seems small to other people but it is a bigger issue for TG people. I have an anxiety about being in public and not being able to find a bathroom when needed, a pretty bad anxiety about it, enough that if I'm not sure about bathrooms I will likely not go to wherever it is I need to go. So I feel like I sort of feel the pain in worrying about bathrooms when out when there should be no worry.

As an aside, here is something a friend of mine posted on their wall yesterday for the remembrance day:

"I know there's some people who won't be a "fan" of this post, but it bears repeating. The scary stats that transgenders face are horrifying. Did you know a transgender woman has a 1 in 12 change of being murdered for their identity? Research is starting to show as many as 41% of the transgender population has attempted suicide at least once. 80% of transgender students report that they feel "unsafe on a daily basis" because of their gender expression.

Transgender Day of Remembrance, which occurs annually on November 20, is a day to memorialize those who have been killed as a result of transphobia and to bring attention to the continued struggle endured by the transgender community. No matter what your beliefs, none of those things are OK. None of these stats are OK."

My fiance wears nappies out if she thinks she will be away from a private bathroom (ie. The house or a friends house) for a while. She is ABDL which softens the blow but is still an indignity, and it is a much worse indignity for all the TG people who aren't ABDL that wearing nappies is considered a real alternative to just being able to use the bathroom like everyone else.

Again I have to agree. If someone has already had the MtoF surgery then there should never be a question in the least. Before the full transition I also believe it shouldn't matter so long as that person is using a stall (which all women do any ways). What you have on the outside- ideally- should not define who you are on the inside.

[FretaBWet]

Sorry I'm a little late to this party but I just ran across this post and I think I'm well qualified to speak to it.

[DiaperPony]

Have one restroom for urinals and another for stalls, with a

[Baby Jen]

On 11/24/2015, 6:38:40, Darkfinn said:

My take on this.

When out in public the only way people have to judge you is your appearance. If you LOOK the part of a female then you shouldn't have a problem going to the ladies' room. Now, if you are TG and can't successfully pull off the look enough to pass as your gender of choice in public then you don't need to be going out in the first place.

Seriously?

[harrycrosby]

South Park came up with the best solution to this:

And so it is with great pride that I can announce the student body has elected to get rid of the transgender bathroom, and give any fellow student the right to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable in. Anyone who has a problem sharing a bathroom with people who might be transgender will have to use the special designated bathroom designed to keep them away from the normal people who don't care.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

On 11/21/2015 at 6:02 AM, diapersalways said:

i think they should rename all bathrooms so it will forevermore be a matter of one room for those with penises,

the other room for those without penises.

[Rachel Emily]

[Bettypooh]

Most larger publicly-accessible buildings already have an ADA compliant/ family single stall bathroom, but that has it's own issues involved. Simply easier to have one bathroom for all I feel fore those with psychological trauma or conditions which cause them distress regarding bathrooms, but that just highlights the problem.This is something society as a whole needs to get over.

Everyone pees and poops and it's totally natural. Not sex, gender, mental, or physical conditions have anything to do with that. Society separates where no separation should happen

[Baby Brian]

On 12/12/2015 at 7:00 AM, Bettypooh said:

Most larger publicly-accessible buildings already have an ADA compliant/ family single stall bathroom, but that has it's own issues involved. Simply easier to have one bathroom for all I feel fore those with psychological trauma or conditions which cause them distress regarding bathrooms, but that just highlights the problem.This is something society as a whole needs to get over.

Everyone pees and poops and it's totally natural. Not sex, gender, mental, or physical conditions have anything to do with that. Society separates where no separation should happen

[drynot]

Given the state of some public washrooms out there...I'd rather use a diaper....for both one and two

[lil_angel]

....and here you go, I think this sums up the issues...

http://secondnexus.com/social-commentary-and-trends/perspectives/transpersons-confined-to-gender-roles/?ts_pid=94&utm_content=inf_10_1164_2&tse_id=INF_bf7ee56f418d4a62b6d275bf8c41d9af

[Rachel Emily]

3 hours ago, lil_angel said:

....and here you go, I think this sums up the issues...

http://secondnexus.com/social-commentary-and-trends/perspectives/transpersons-confined-to-gender-roles/?ts_pid=94&utm_content=inf_10_1164_2&tse_id=INF_bf7ee56f418d4a62b6d275bf8c41d9af

Well, the article makes some good points, particularly about the media only pretending to be "tolerant", and even then only toward those who look gorgeous. However, were it possible for me to do so, I would want to do everything I could to make myself look as recognizably female as I can. Why? Because in the early years of my transition, when I didn't pass as well, my life was a living hell. I couldn't go out on the street without someone pointing and laughing, yelling "fag!", or telling me I should meet with some sort of grisly demise. Women recoiled when I'd go into the restroom, so I stopped going in there. To this day, even though I look at least acceptable enough to enter a women's restroom, I still avoid it and seek out unisex places.

My voice once made me cringe, as did my face, and it messed with my self-image. I knew I was Rachel in my mind, but that mental image would be obliterated the moment I opened my mouth. I couldn't handle the incongruity, so I worked for years on my voice until it reached a point that I was at least comfortable speaking. (If you want to hear my voice, listen to Toddy's ABDLcast. I made a couple of SpeakPipe calls.) I no longer feel the need to hide in my apartment, and can go out on the street with a certain level of confidence.

The hormones softened my features; I still don't look as good as I'd like, but at least men say things like, "Can I help you, honey?" which while sexist, is infinitely better than "fag."

The idea of passing might be outmoded, but I felt I had to do it in order to live in the real world. Now I feel as though I have to apologize for feeling that way.

EDIT: One more point I wanted to make. Even though I think it's important to pass, I don't think I'm an over-the-top, giggly stereotype either. I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion. I don't wear jewelry--not because I don't want to, but because I have a hard time with such things as earrings (earrings and cerebral palsy do NOT go together.)

[lil_angel]

8 hours ago, Rachel Emily said:

Well, the article makes some good points, particularly about the media only pretending to be "tolerant", and even then only toward those who look gorgeous. However, were it possible for me to do so, I would want to do everything I could to make myself look as recognizably female as I can. Why? Because in the early years of my transition, when I didn't pass as well, my life was a living hell. I couldn't go out on the street without someone pointing and laughing, yelling "fag!", or telling me I should meet with some sort of grisly demise. Women recoiled when I'd go into the restroom, so I stopped going in there. To this day, even though I look at least acceptable enough to enter a women's restroom, I still avoid it and seek out unisex places.

My voice once made me cringe, as did my face, and it messed with my self-image. I knew I was Rachel in my mind, but that mental image would be obliterated the moment I opened my mouth. I couldn't handle the incongruity, so I worked for years on my voice until it reached a point that I was at least comfortable speaking. (If you want to hear my voice, listen to Toddy's ABDLcast. I made a couple of SpeakPipe calls.) I no longer feel the need to hide in my apartment, and can go out on the street with a certain level of confidence.

The hormones softened my features; I still don't look as good as I'd like, but at least men say things like, "Can I help you, honey?" which while sexist, is infinitely better than "fag."

The idea of passing might be outmoded, but I felt I had to do it in order to live in the real world. Now I feel as though I have to apologize for feeling that way.

EDIT: One more point I wanted to make. Even though I think it's important to pass, I don't think I'm an over-the-top, giggly stereotype either. I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion. I don't wear jewelry--not because I don't want to, but because I have a hard time with such things as earrings (earrings and cerebral palsy do NOT go together.)

[Bettypooh]

"Passing" makes it easier to deal with society and as you say, there's more to it than looks. Voice and mannerisms count for a lot more than most consider early in the game. My advice has always been "look around". Really look, not just see. There are differences in how woman and men move, act in different situations, in how they speak and what they say. Start with the more noticeable stuff and do the details as they come to you. If you're up to it, one of the best ways to find out what gives you up is to ask- as often as not the person who 'clocked you' will tell you that. And under-do things, not over-doing them. Subtlety works- remember you're trying to blend in, not stand out. As an older woman I could blend in easier; make-up is a given, younger men and women don't look at you as much, and you have more flexibility with styles. And of course "passing" ends the bathroom dilemma.

But "passing" is not for everyone. Some cannot "pass" and some don't want to, and they have every right to just as good a life as anyone else. There is no reason they should be discriminated against for being themselves. Who you are inside and what body you're stuck in are two entirely different things and there is only so much that can be done about the body. It is not right that society then wants you to change who you are instead but that's what happens. Society has the problem, not Transpeople, so the correct solution is for society to change, and thankfully it is doing that albeit slowly. There is much that I believe will happen but I don't think I'll be alive to see it all at my age. Bravo for those younger ones helping society's change along- you are the future and perhaps you will get to see that which I won't be around for. I certainly hope so.

Bettypooh

[Dill_Pickle]

On 12/4/2015 at 6:38 AM, DiaperPony said:

Have one restroom for urinals and another for stalls, with a

[DiaperPony]

14 hours ago, Dill_Pickle said:

Now, I do have to ask a politically incorrect question: