Why we are the way we are...

[LeaveIt2Me]

I had some great responses to my Questions post so I decided to post again. I've done alot of thinking about why I like the idea of grown men and women in diapers even though i prefer women in relationships. The best i can come up with is that i watched my mother being abused and i was sexually abused by a school employee throughout high school so perhaps having men in diapers makes them less threatening and gives me more power.

[Rachel Emily]

I've given up trying to explain it. The best I've been able to say is that at some time--perhaps any one of the countless times I was changed as a toddler--I started to like the feel of my diaper against my genitals. Or later on, I was around diapers so much that I grew curious about them; the curiosity grew into an obsession, the obsession into a fetish. Or both of those things. I can be sure, however, that I never suffered the sort of abuse you did. All my life I've fixated on certain objects, or certain subjects, and diapers are just one of many.

[diaperwearntigger]

I have no idea why I am the lil that I am.

[Eir]

I am the oldest of five cousins in a large family. I was the oldest, I remembered baby toys disappearing, pretty much one by one. I remember playing with Fisher Price locks, large plastic ball roller coasters, and many similar devices. I always did feel younger than my actual age. Came into AB play to beat a personal issue, it is beaten, and I am still here.

[minachan16]

Of course I've had this thought before. Originally, I thought it was because I was changed out of wet pants and put back in a diaper when I was four by a babysitter when I had an accident while being watched at her house, but after further thought, I think it has a lot to do with my little sister, especially in light of memories that later surfaced that I had tendencies associated with wanting to stay a baby well before I was four. I was the baby of my family until I was two years old and, even though it's completely unreasonable to hold it against my younger sibling, I think potty training and getting a baby sister at the same time was a shock to my developmental system to the point that my emotional growth was split in two where one side kept growing and another wanted to stay a toddler out of spite and jealousy. That's the best I can come up with in any event.

[Baby Brian]

In order to answer this questions I believe we would first have to answer "why do we like wearing diapers" in the first place. A LOT of people here (including myself) just can answer even that question.

[feralfreak]

i figured it might be because im a little autistic and i was abused as a child, earliest memory of abuse was around 4, and a friend of the family who worked in a mental health place as a nurse said she learned that abuse can stop the brain from developing for lack of the right term, something about it locking that age(you can still do things, like use tools and cook, etc...) i dont remember the term she used, it would explain why im extremely immature and damn proud of it

[CDLover]

When I was 5 I was put in diapers for bed wetting.

[sbbaby]

ive always had a strong attraction to diapers and baby stuff ever since i was little. my mom said i was out of diapers pretty early and wasnt a bedwetter, so i dunno where my attraction for diapers come from. always been this way and choosing to reject and move past it has always resulted in me returning. i guess throughout my childhood, they were always present in the background. like there would be a bottle on the table and id just be curious about drinking from it. eventually i tried and enjoyed it. same definitely goes for diapers and pacis, except i didnt find out about nuk5s till recently.

[lilmissmommy]

I have racked my brain for many years to come up with any answers as to why I like what I like and I've come up with nothing. I never wet the bed or my pants as a child. I never had any traumatic events that might explain it, although I was bullied and ostracised the entire time I was in school but none of it was related in any way to this. There are no events in my past that might explain it. I've just always liked it.

[Honu]

I was a bed-wetter and did wet my pants a couple of times, the latest was in 6th grade. I don't remember being diapers, just waking up to a wet bed and feeling very bad about it. About the time I was 5 I had the idea that my parents would stop getting mad at me for wetting the bed if I was in diapers. From then on, diapers became my safe refuge and I still associate wearing diapers with being safe from the ridicule of pants or bed wetting. Of course, as an adult that ran up against the ridicule of an adult wearing and using diapers. We all know how that story goes!

[Octavian]

No idea why I'm the way I am. I can remember no trauma or anything of the like as a child. I just remember the desire since a fairly young age. I even remember asking my mother, when I was 8 or so, if she would let me wear diapers.

She said no, and I went without until I was 13. When I would continue to steal a goodnite or two from a friends house for several years...still feel bad about that.

[vvp39]

This is edited from something I wrote on another site that I think applies here.

[Baby Brian]

This is edited from something I wrote on another site that I think applies here.

Today I want to write a bit about the start of a fetish in general. Most of us who like to wear plastic found this out at an early age. There doesn't seem to be a great deal else in common among us, whether it's in national origin, whether we came from a happy home with two parents, a broken one, or one in which we were abused, or whether or not we had siblings. The one thing we have in common is that at some point in our lives we discovered that we really love the feeling of soft vinyl plastic against our skin, and most of us to the point that it feels right and proper that this should be the case.

Here I'll expand the field a little bit. Reading stories online about how people got started in fetishes I've noticed that for ab/dl, diaper-wearing, and cross-dressing fetishes the stories of how people got started in their fetish have a lot of similarity. Add this to the considerable variety among just us plastic lovers, to the point where it seems that no two of us are exactly alike.

Yet almost everyone is exposed to plastic items, whether it be raincoats, aprons, shower curtains, or baby pants; nearly everyone has worn diapers at some point in their lives, and we all are well acquainted with women's garments. This being the case, why is it that most people go through life without developing any attachment to any of these items, and a minority of us develop a considerable attachment to one or another of them?

I suspect the answer is simply that it depends on a particular turn of mind. Perhaps there's something about the way our minds are arranged or the way we see ourselves or the world that brings out that attraction.

I do believe there is an incorrect distinction you touched on here, but did not seperate. You start off by saying that being an ABDL is a fetish, but then you end it with perhaps it's the way our minds are. While this can certainly be a fetish for some, if it's a part of the way you are then it goes beyond just being a fetish, and is more of a compulsion that may not even be sexual in nature and therefore not a fetish.

[littleaaron]

I tell myself, like someone else in this thread mentions, that my fixation on diapers started with a simple curiosity, transformed into obsession over time, and, with wearing for the first time as an adult, turned into a practical realization.

Specifically, I became curious as to why older kids/adults wore diapers when I noticed a childhood friend wearing a diaper to bed. (think 9-10 years old, third-fourth grade) When I learned about the causes of bed wetting and incontinence, the use of diapers was justified, thus I became curious as to what it felt like to wear and use a diaper.

My father was somewhat strict and traditional. . .for example, he did not like anything that seemed remotely homosexual or un-american. . .so I just kept my thoughts to myself without wearing diapers for about 15 years. Those 15 years were when it went from curiosity to obsession. When I was not focused on school, online games, or other hobbies, I was thinking about diapers, fantasizing about wearing them or trying to rationalize or my desires. I would even say that I obsessed over other things in order to avoid thinking about diapers. I knew it was "abnormal", but the more you try to forget, the more it comes knocking.

Only a few months ago, at the age of 26, did I get the chance to wear a diaper and experience what it was like. That is when I realized there really wasn't much to it. They serve their purpose. If used properly and carefully, they do not leak and offer convienence and comfort. ( It is a comfort to know that I do not have to hold it and be distrseed over if I will make it to the bathroom in time; however, I have not had a real accident in years.) To the general public, I am just somebody with a medical problem. If anybody suggests otherwise, they are an inconsiderate ass and I do not need to associate with the anyway. Nobody would know of my desires, except for maybe my immediate family and my doctor(s).

Thus, I realized that diapers served a practical purpose with no real downsides, besides the awkward situations around people who do not wear diapers, but it is not their fault. It is just the social norm after generations of potty training.

Anyway, that is my somewhat abbreviated story. . .

If someone wanted to get Freudian with me, you could say the divorce of my parents, early potty training, and being jealous of the tender loving care my siblings received afterwards, lead to or at least contributed to my desires. I wanted my mother's tender loving care, I noticed my sisters getting that care while they were in diapers, therefore I wanted to wear diapers. But that is only one take on my life. ()

[rosalie.bent]

Trying to find why people are AB is quite a difficult one.