This is it.

[choctawboi]

I'm sorry this is so long...feel free to skip it.

[kevindhca]

Ending your life will not solve anything.

You express concern for those around you, but wish to pursue a path that will make life much more difficult for those that care about you.

You should be aware that the many people you have helped both at work and in your personal life, would express much gratitude for your assistance if they could be asked.

You write you are employed as a paramedic. This is a very high stress occupation that can negatively affect even the toughest appearing persons.

Your work must have programs to help with mental health issues, please take the time to go and talk to a professional.

In order to care for others you must take care of yourself first.

The world definitely needs a person like you willing to perform a very valuable service helping people in trouble.

[DailyDi]

I don't often post in this forum as I tend to absorb negative thoughts, but you need to know a few things:

[beallucanb]

I think you have so much to look forward to, hurting yourself is the last thing I would do if I had a 1/10 of what you have right now.

[Bettypooh]

Dear heart, you matter to more people than you know, and I don't want this world to be without your light in it. I wish I could have been here for you before things got this bad, but I got here late. I've emailed you with "Bettypooh" in the subject line, please read it- I hope you don't mind me doing that.

[Dill_Pickle]

Oh my, Choctawboi

[DiaperPony]

Choctawboi,

Here is something to consider: Life IS all about YOU. You are the most important person in the entire world. What you need is the most important thing. Without you, nothing else matters. Without you, nothing else even exists. That might sound conceited, but it is a fundamental truth.

Now, that's not to say other people and things don't matter. They do, a lot. But, they only matter because they matter to you. What is important to you essentially defines your existence. It is admirable that you care so deeply about the people in your life. Never change that. The people and things you care about and things you can do are what make you unique.

But, don't forget to care about yourself too, because you are #1 and you come first*. If there is a conflict of priorities, make sure that you are the one that ultimately comes out on top!

* This obviously gets more complicated with kids, but I assume that you don't have any.

[DiaperPony]

It's been a week since choctawboi has been on DD... Hope everything is okay.

Edit: account was active today, good.

[choctawboi]

You guys are really great. I go through phases of extreme depression, but this last one I experienced I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it out of. I have a lot of issues to work through right now, and I'm doing my best to take them one at a time, but sometimes it just seems like too much. Here's hoping that I can get through all of this and stay sane.

[Bettypooh]

Thank you for coming back to let us know you're still here so we can still hope for you Check your email you've listed here if things ever get this bad again. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't but I can try and I will You mean a lot to more people than you know- the world can use more like you and we can't afford to lose one of the few like you we have with us now.

[Dubious]

I myself have had suicide thoughts and been deeply depressed

But I got a caring family and have/is working my way back to a "normal" life

I do take medicine, as it helps me get out the door and socialize (took some time to find the right kind of medicine so don't give up if the first type don't work for you)

Ever thought about trying a different job?

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

I have lost someone who I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with to death. Its a very

[fading.kitten]

Use to think about suicide all the time. Never would cut, but a fist across my face was effective for screwed up measures. Anywho, never under estimate finding a distracting hobby. Simple goals set up in a defined structure helped me through many dark times. Even, if it was as simple as coloring a single flower on a page. Sometimes it helps to pull that little thing out to help nudge you along.