Bad Jokes

[DL-Boy]

2 hours ago, Little Christine said:

They tell me that the Burger King has a Whopper. If that is true then why has the Dairy Queen been seen at McDonald's what does he have?

Answer: the BIG Mac

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Then what was the Dairy Queen looking for at Wendy's?

[rusty pins]

Perhaps the Dairy "Queen" is a lesbian?

[dyperbole]

[Apache Raccoon]

I got my self a new PC recently:

I was hoping it would be Jenifer Hudson or Brittney Spears but it's Adele LOL

[dyperbole]

8 minutes ago, Apache Raccoon said:

I got my self a new PC recently:

I was hoping it would be Jenifer Hudson or Brittney Spears but it's Adele LOL

I figured "Someone Like You" would come up with this joke.

[Apache Raccoon]

If it’s a Columbus Sat Nav system does that mean anytime anyone wants to get to China they’ll end up somewhere in America? LOL

[Firefly 35]

I hope I'm reading the news correctly.  Because of all the quarantine orders, governments are sending out stimulus packages, not stimulant packages, right?  ?

[Apache Raccoon]

What do you get if you cross dancing with a ski mask?

You get a Ballet Clava lol

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

2 hours ago, Apache Raccoon said:

What do you get if you cross dancing with a ski mask?

You get a Ballet Clava lol

Hey; c'mon! These are supposed to be BAD jokes!!

[Burp_Cup]

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a crab with a boob job? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean  ?

[DL-Boy]

If we're going to the bad comparison riddles, you asked for it:

First the G-Rated  one.

Q:What's the difference between a Jeweler and a Jailer?

A: A Jeweler sells watches and a Jailer watches cells (sells).

 

Now the R-Rated one.

Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

A: The pick pocket snatches watches.... 

[dyperbole]

Clean:  How do you make one disappear?   Add "G" to it -- now it's gone.

Not so clean:  What's the difference between a college women's cross country team and a group of pygmies?  One is a cunning bunch of runts...... 

[rusty pins]

Whats the difference between a bunch of circus acrobats and the Rocketts?  The acrobats provide a cunning array of stunts.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

What is the difference between a pin and masturbation? With a pin you prick your finger

[rusty pins]

What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?  The rooster says, "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo" and the hooker says, "Any Cock'el Do!"

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Anyone who has been around has been to Snaketon, a place inhabited by snakes families each of which lives in its own pit. This tale concerns the Viperson faily

Mrs Viperson was at home with her offspring Little  Garter, who, as young snakes will starts hissing

Mrs Viperson was annoyed and said "Don't hiss in this pit. Go next dorr to Mrs Pot's pit and hiss"

Dutifully Garter crawled over to Mrs Pot's pit next dorr and began hissing. Mrs Pot was annoyed and said "Don't hiss in my pit. Go hiss in your own pit"

So Garter trundled his bundle back home and began to hiss.  Mom said "I told you not to hiss in this pit and go over to Mrs Pot's pit to hiss"

The little snake answered, " I went over to Mrs Pot's pit and hissed and she got mad and sai 'don't hiss in my pit. Go hiss in your own pit.' So here I am hissing in this pit"

Huffily, Mrs Viperson said "She has SOME nerve! I knew Mrs Pot when she didn't have a pit to hiss in!"

[dyperbole]

5 hours ago, Little Christine said:

Anyone who has been around has been to Snaketon, a place inhabited by snakes families each of which lives in its own pit. This tale concerns the Viperson faily

Mrs Viperson was at home with her offspring Little  Garter, who, as young snakes will starts hissing

Mrs Viperson was annoyed and said "Don't hiss in this pit. Go next dorr to Mrs Pot's pit and hiss"

Dutifully Garter crawled over to Mrs Pot's pit next dorr and began hissing. Mrs Pot was annoyed and said "Don't hiss in my pit. Go hiss in your own pit"

So Garter trundled his bundle back home and began to hiss.  Mom said "I told you not to hiss in this pit and go over to Mrs Pot's pit to hiss"

The little snake answered, " I went over to Mrs Pot's pit and hissed and she got mad and sai 'don't hiss in my pit. Go hiss in your own pit.' So here I am hissing in this pit"

Huffily, Mrs Viperson said "She has SOME nerve! I knew Mrs Pot when she didn't have a pit to hiss in!"

That's what we call our "honeymoon joke".  We were on a cruise and the cruise staff did a comedy show, and told this joke as part of it.  The person telling the joke was "drunk", thus part of the humor was whether or not she would mis-speak.  Well done and memorable to this day.  

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

You can be stone cold sober and louse this one up VERY easily. I' practiced it a goodly number of times before I went near it

[dyperbole]

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Hey, at least the little bitch thinks you still have your own teeth

[Andrew54]

LOL [emoji23] [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] top shelf laughter [emoji23]


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[Little BabyDoll Christine]

On 3/7/2020 at 11:46 AM, rusty pins said:

Perhaps the Dairy "Queen" is a lesbian?

That would be a DRaG

[dyperbole]

[dyperbole]

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves.

Finally my years of taking karate classes came in useful.