is this wrong?

[Wayz2PlzU]

I have just recently started to fantasize about a young woman while masturbating. Someone I don't talk to nor do I consider a friend any longer, yet I fantasize about her wearing a diaper, getting spanked by either myself or other women, but somehow it feels wrong. Is it wrong? If so, why?

[little_pink]

On the one hand it is dishonest, on the other it is your imagination which is quite harmless.

[Wayz2PlzU]

On the one hand it is dishonest, on the other it is your imagination which is quite harmless.

I have to ask how it is dishonest. It's not like I have regular discussion with this young woman at all. Not even when we were friends. I emphasize the word "were" just so we're clear.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

On the one h Wrand it is dishonest, on the other it is your imagination which is quite harmless.

Wrong about the harmless part. This system is quite powerful and over time could engender feelings that when, since there is no real justification for, coming to grips with that could lead to depression or other nasty things or even to do something crazy. This is how most teenage guys grow really attached to girls and when she turns him down or breaks off with them, they go into tailspins. Beyond that, as part of the dishonesty, it does misuse the girl since you have used here as a sex object without her consent or knowledge and at your age, you should have this figured out and well understood. I see the beginnings of a defense mechanism coming into play if you are asking this at your age

[WakkoWannaBe]

I'm kind of going "lolwut?" on the whole dishonest thing. Maybe y'all know something I don't, but I totally disagree/don't understand on that part.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

What if she is married?

That aside, the real danger is what you will probably do to yourself emotionally in the long term, or you might do things that could get you in legal hot water, like stalking and not even realize you are doing that

The fact is that this has gotten beyond just a thought and you are now "entertaining" the ideas

[Elfy]

Everyone fantasises about people they don't know, or know but don't speak to etc... And if people claim not to they either a) are lying or somehow missing an imagination...

[Wayz2PlzU]

Everyone fantasises about people they don't know, or know but don't speak to etc... And if people claim not to they either a) are lying or somehow missing an imagination...

For people to suggest its wrong to fantasise about it is really rather silly.

There is a big leap between fantasising about someone and stalking or causing a problem to them. Heck, when I was a teenager I would suggest there wasn't a boy or girl in my class I didn't fantasise about at some stage!

As long as fantasies stay fantasies there shouldn't be a problem with whatever you fantasise about (as long as its legal!)

I kind of agree on both sides here, but more importantly I agree with the quoted person above. Number 1), I don't fantasize about this woman being under 18, which is HUGE. Two, I have not a clue where she lives and even if I did I would not dare harm her. Three, this is really the first time I've even explored this fantasy, and yet yes I do feel as though I'm violating her without physically doing so, even if she's unaware of it. Thank goodness for that last part.

Besides, conjuring up women just seems to lose its charm when masturbating. After a while I get bored with it. Does this border on me becoming a stalker type or some kind of sicko? I don't think so as long as I know where the boundaries in the real world or real life, if you like, lie. It's not as though I'm going out and raping young women left and right and claiming it was consentual. No, I'm just trying to have a healthy sexual fantasy that I think all men have at some point.

But the truth of it is this: With or without a real person reference, I find myself unable to fantasize about ME 'IN' the sexual fantasy at all. So for someone to say I risk acting upon such fantasies clearly hasn't met a guy like me who is barely sexual at all.

I'd even go as far as saying I'm asexual. I don't have regular sexual relations, so why should I be exempt from the occasional fantasy?

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Once you put masturbation in the mix, that makes it a whole different experience. After awhile, the fantasies take on a life of their own and grow on their own

[Wayz2PlzU]

Once you put masturbation in the mix, that makes it a whole different experience. After awhile, the fantasies take on a life of their own and grow on their own

Not necessarily. At least not in my case. If that had been true, I would have acted upon masturbation fantasies years ago despite the distance between this young woman and myself. I learned, eventually, that it was just not feasible even with ideal conditions met.

[Elfy]

Once you put masturbation in the mix, that makes it a whole different experience. After awhile, the fantasies take on a life of their own and grow on their own

[Wayz2PlzU]

Just wanted to quote this to highlight how ridiculous that statement is.

Fantasising about doing something does not mean you will ever actully do that thing, a lot of people use the soft bit in their head to distinguish between reality and fantasy. Only a small number of psychotic people can't distinguish the difference.

It seems Christine wants to literally have a "thought police" system!

I don't mean to go all "sexist" or "chauvinistic pig" on the straight females, but don't they often fantasize about hot men (celebrity and otherwise) sexually on a frequent basis? Does that mean they'll eventually act out their fantasies too? Just going by that logic alone, I have some sex crazed friends. And I've barely begun to explore my own sexuality. Just barely.

And if there were such a thing as "thought police" we'd all be criminals as some point with a felony rap sheet a mile long! LMAO Seriously though, it's a bit like saying all men are potential rapists. I've never had sex, never wanted to, but as of late I've only begun to explore the possibilities!

Just saying! :-)

[Guest Sasha]

Holy shitballs, Batman! A guy waxing the dolphin over a girl he doesn't

[BabyTara]

I don't mean to go all "sexist" or "chauvinistic pig" on the straight females, but don't they often fantasize about hot men (celebrity and otherwise) sexually on a frequent basis? Does that mean they'll eventually act out their fantasies too? Just going by that logic alone, I have some sex crazed friends. And I've barely begun to explore my own sexuality. Just barely.

[Bettypooh]

There's nothing wrong with fantasies. I'll even go so far as saying that few should be ignored or not acted on Where it can become a problem is if you want act on illegal or improper fantasies in real life, and whether you allow them to become an obsession with you

[Wayz2PlzU]

Edited October 10, 2013 by Wayz2PlzU

[DLmach]

Heck no its not wrong. I used to do it all the time in high school. Also, I wouldn't necessarily say they would have to be 18...most states' age of consent is 17, 16 and even 15 and 14. It all depends on YOUR morals. Its a fantasy, not reality.

[Wayz2PlzU]

Heck no its not wrong. I used to do it all the time in high school. Also, I wouldn't necessarily say they would have to be 18...most states' age of consent is 17, 16 and even 15 and 14. It all depends on YOUR morals. Its a fantasy, not reality.

Thank you for the constructive feedback! :-)

[Bettypooh]

I thought I was clear about that, but in case I wasn't.....

[Wayz2PlzU]

I thought I was clear about that, but in case I wasn't.....

There is nothing wrong with what you're saying or doing- morally, legally, psychologically, or otherwise. I've lost touch with many people in life and fantasized over what might have been, or what could be if we met again but that never happens to me so it all remains what it is- harmless fantasy that stays in the fantasy world. Better that you act on fantasy than to let it become something it isn't

Bettypooh

Oh I didn't mean you about the constructive feedback. It was the other person claiming that fantasizing led to acting on them physically in reality. I agree with you entirely that there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. And some folks, men and women a-like have a hard time distinguishing between the two. But as a complete virgin, I know where the boundaries lie. In the case of what "Christine" said about fantasies taking on a life of their own, that happens only when there is an obvious breakdown in the psyche (mental health meltdown).

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Just wanted to quote this to highlight how ridiculous that statement is.

[ForbiddenFruit]

If you ask me, that says a hell of a lot more about Christine than about the nature of fantasizing...

[Elfy]

If you ask me, that says a hell of a lot more about Christine than about the nature of fantasizing...

[WakkoWannaBe]

Well, this has been fun. Do what you want, TC - at the end of the day it's your own junk you're playing with. And on that laissez-faire note, in the words of the great Ron Swanson:

[BabyJune]

If you don't involve real people and keep it in your fantasies, then go for it! They are your thoughts and as long as you don't harm the person you are fantasizing about or let it get out of hand, there's no harm in it.