For The Women - Why It Sucks For A Guy Trying To Meet An Ab/dl Girl

[Paul61]

Hi all!

I'm going to do my best to try to attempt to get across what I've been going through pretty much my whole life.

I'm a 44 y.o male and feel that I am a great catch for a girl. I'm not being conceded, it's just that I love and respect women, I'm not a controlling person, I'm honest and loyal, creative, have a great sense of humor and have many interests and hobbies that have absolutely nothing to do with sex. Contrary to what a lot of women think, sex is NOT always on a guys mind as 1% of our time is spent thinking about something else. (lol! just kidding)

Anyway, I have been into the diaper scene since age 0. I won't go into any details of the events throughout my life but I will just tell you that I have had good relationships with women that did not involve diapers or any kind of fetishes. We all know how boring that is and that is a major reason why I was always the one to break it off. Usually after years though. I've always fullfilled this pleasure on my own and it's really lonely. This is why it is my dream to meet someone to share these desires with but I run into the following problems and give up for a while:

1. Posting an ad in the local paper gets no responses even though you try to word it right, I always get some guy contacting me saying he's like to talk about our interests.

2. You log into a chat room or post on a board and ask if there are any girls from your area and all of the girls want to run because EVERY SINGLE GUY MUST DO THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!! This is probably because there are TONS of fucking idiots and assholes out there that give the good ones a bad name.

Believe me girls, I wish they'd go away too!

3. I do start a chat with a woman just to find that she is fucked up or she is not very attractive to me. Does that sound shallow? It shouldn't because physical attraction is totally a separate issue and natural.

Now the best way to meet anyone is in person and I do meet girls with mutual attraction but I'm at the point in my life that I really want to meet someone who enjoys diapers so I can be myself. So, I restrain from pursuing anything just because I've been let down too many times by finding that the girl is not into anyhing but regular sex. YUCK!

So, what do you do? On your second or 3rd date ask, "Hey, do you like to wear and wet diapers?" What are the odds that she will say "Oh, how did you know?"

Give me a break.

Now, here we are back to this online stuff. It's a pain in the ass too. This is probably the best site out there and even though I visit here daily, I never realized that there were these messageboards here. I'm just not one to spend all of my time in a chat room or writing long posts like this. There's a world out there.

I know that the reason I hardly hear from women is you are bombarded with guys just like the damn mosquitos that cover me as soon as I open the door at this time of year here in CT. I know, I see it happening. That's why most of the time I don't reply. There has to be more guys like me out there that think the same way and you girls miss out on the type your looking for.

There are good one left!

If I'm sounding negative that 's really not what I'm trying to get across.

Let me ask you girls this; If you were seeking to find a mate that is into the diaper scene so you can have the magic in your life that you deserve, how would you like to be contacted?

That's my take on all of this. I could be wrong.

Paul61

[Alex Nappy]

Bravo!

Still, you're speech probably won't make a difference Paul. The vast majority of female ab's are already taken for and even a brilliant post like yours probably won't yield results.

I honestly think you're best option is to get into a long term relationship and then try to introduce your partner to diapers.

We're all in the same boat Paul, I currently have a girlfriend who I love to bits and I'm going to try to get her into diapers, but I'll just have to see.

[iamafemalebaby]

SUCH A SHAME TO READ POSTS LIKE THIS

Paul you will find someone but the answer is to stop looking things happen in life when we least expect them to it is life!

Yes there are lots of good guys out there with not just sex on their minds and also lots of nice girls out there looking just like you.

I met my daddy online quite by chance I was married at the time but the marriage was on the rocks. I cant even remember how we got about to meeting but we did and 7 months later we are living together

Don't give up...you can always post in Care4baby.net too just to boost your chances.

I wish you the very best of luck!

Drop in and chat in DD as well and get to know us all you will have a great time and meet new friends

[Paul61]

Thanks for the advice Alex but like I said in my post, I've already been there way too many times. I've got 25 more years then you of doing just what you described with not so great results.

Bravo!

Still, you're speech probably won't make a difference Paul. The vast majority of female ab's are already taken for and even a brilliant post like yours probably won't yield results.

I honestly think you're best option is to get into a long term relationship and then try to introduce your partner to diapers.

We're all in the same boat Paul, I currently have a girlfriend who I love to bits and I'm going to try to get her into diapers, but I'll just have to see.

Hello iamafemalebaby!

Thank you for the incouragement. I've never heard of Care4baby.net.

As far as the chat room, I was there last night. It is so hard to have a conversation with anyone in those rooms because there are 20 different conversations going on at one time. Maybe because it was a weeknd night?

Where online did you meet your daddy?

SUCH A SHAME TO READ POSTS LIKE THIS

Paul you will find someone but the answer is to stop looking things happen in life when we least expect them to it is life!

Yes there are lots of good guys out there with not just sex on their minds and also lots of nice girls out there looking just like you.

I met my daddy online quite by chance I was married at the time but the marriage was on the rocks. I cant even remember how we got about to meeting but we did and 7 months later we are living together

Don't give up...you can always post in Care4baby.net too just to boost your chances.

I wish you the very best of luck!

Drop in and chat in DD as well and get to know us all you will have a great time and meet new friends

[susandirs]

.. ....

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Shortly after I found this site I started seeing someone and told her about my lifestyle, first person I ever told. After a few more months went by I decided to become a member. Now I'm engaged. For years I thought the only way I would ever meet a girl that would understand me was if she participated in the lifestyle already, but I was wrong, and this site helped me understand that. Lots of members here have had success finding understanding non AB/DLs, so I gave it a try, and I've never looked back. I was 43, so I understand all too well how you feel. I enjoyed reading your post as I have very passionate feelings on this subject. I hope you find her soon. Best of Luck!

[Repaid1]

I too must agree with the posts above. I really find the Topic somewhat strange. I myself can't factor the percentage of finding a AB Partner vs. one that is not. I would gather a guess that it's alot less than 1%. Just factoring in your geographical area, how many others are AB/DL and those that are not. To me it seems alittle like finding a needle in a haystack. A true relationship must be started on trust and remain there. Moreover start the floors on Compatiblity, the walls of Love and the roof of trust. Every mommy that I have ever had started on a regular relationship, and then built from there. I never kept a secret from them. Many varied on when I told them about diapers, and from there the AB side of me but I always told them. I can't explain why I have had such great success with finding a woman who understands, perhaps they all our that way, it just takes a man who can offer them what they need as well. I only once got a negative reply on the baby side, but slept and wore next to her daily without comment. I was with her for three years.

I think you get out of a relationship, what you put into it. If being treated like a Baby is your sole focus on your relationship starting, your doomed to fail. Perhaps one should go to a professional mommy to get that desire to the background, to allow you to focus on the more important issue, a meaningfull relationship that could grow. Like I said, I believe any relationship can be what you want, YOU have to be willing to work at it.

It's not to say that meaningful relationships cannot start from a AB enviroment. But realistically I wouldn't focus my life trying to find one there. I think it's more important to find what your "problem" is in finding a woman or partner as it may be, that can be what you seek. It sounds as though your not attracting the right women. They seem self centered or you are, if you describe "regular" sex as YUCK, then perhaps you are not focusing on their needs. You may be sending them a signal that you don't know. Your actually telling them something is wrong with them, as you can't be centered on them if you think what they know is "Yuck" How can you expect them to understand something different, if you, yourself can't provide them with the basics? Just my thoughts But hey.... I've had over ten Mommies, and various Girls that just wanted to be my Sitter, I must be doing something right. I am in No way GODS gift, I am 150#'s dripping wet, slim build, recently unemployed. But Was Married 1 month ago to my Wife & Mommie, she didn't have a clue before she met me what a AB was, but since has become a wonderful Mommie, Wife and Partner. And has worn Diapers on two occations to public outtings, the first being our wedding. I hope this doesn't deter you but rather to direct you. To find a problem, one should first look in the most obvious spot. Good look in the search.

Your Friend,

Lil" Timmy

[Paul61]

I agree with you. I may have gave the wrong impression about regular sex being "YUCK". I love regular sex. It just gets boring after a while and it would be nice to find someone who is as kinky as I and has a desire to wear diapers. My past relationships did not end based on sex.

There were other factors such as incompatibilty, mutual goals, etc. Apart from the diaper thing I need an artistic type because that is what I am and women who aren't just don't understand that the need for some space at times is nothing personal at all.

I know my post may sound negative but really, I'm an easy going person. It's way too difficult to get one's personality across. Do I think I'm perfect? No way. Do I expect my partner to be perfect? No Way.

I know what you are saying about being in a relationship and opening up. I've been there too. I got my ex to wear and wet but she didn't really care for it so since I felt she was only doing it for me, I couldn't really get into it after a while. So, I put it aside. I care about my mates and don't like to make people do things just because I like to. I don't see that as being fair. Do you see where I'm coming from?

This is why I want to just take a little time this time to see if I can find someone with the same interests. Now, most people I see seem to jump from one relationship to another and never take the time to get to know themselves. It amazes me when I see people that were together for years and years break up and a month or 2 later are with someone else. I think to myself "geez, did they really love that person?" I think not.

I have only been in 2 long term relationships. Many short ones. Why? Because I take time in between to make sure I don't attract the same type of person every time. If the red flag goes up, I back off that's why I have shorter ones. It doesn't have to do with the sex though as it's usually something like the girl not liking kids, or she drinks too much etc. But, reading that you may think that there's something wrong with me and I'm being like George Castanza and Jerry Seinfeld saying "She eats her peas one at a time." lol!. No, as my 2 long term relationships were pretty long with about 4 or 5 years in between.

Some times I think I shouldn't post my thoughts like this here because it might make me sound like a loser.

I'm just being honest with my thoughts at the time. I've got absolutley nothing to hide here because really, I don't see what the big deal is about liking diapers or anything else for that matter. It's society that messes things up.

I too must agree with the posts above. I really find the Topic somewhat strange. I myself can't factor the percentage of finding a AB Partner vs. one that is not. I would gather a guess that it's alot less than 1%. Just factoring in your geographical area, how many others are AB/DL and those that are not. To me it seems alittle like finding a needle in a haystack. A true relationship must be started on trust and remain there. Moreover start the floors on Compatiblity, the walls of Love and the roof of trust. Every mommy that I have ever had started on a regular relationship, and then built from there. I never kept a secret from them. Many varied on when I told them about diapers, and from there the AB side of me but I always told them. I can't explain why I have had such great success with finding a woman who understands, perhaps they all our that way, it just takes a man who can offer them what they need as well. I only once got a negative reply on the baby side, but slept and wore next to her daily without comment. I was with her for three years.

I think you get out of a relationship, what you put into it. If being treated like a Baby is your sole focus on your relationship starting, your doomed to fail. Perhaps one should go to a professional mommy to get that desire to the background, to allow you to focus on the more important issue, a meaningfull relationship that could grow. Like I said, I believe any relationship can be what you want, YOU have to be willing to work at it.

It's not to say that meaningful relationships cannot start from a AB enviroment. But realistically I wouldn't focus my life trying to find one there. I think it's more important to find what your "problem" is in finding a woman or partner as it may be, that can be what you seek. It sounds as though your not attracting the right women. They seem self centered or you are, if you describe "regular" sex as YUCK, then perhaps you are not focusing on their needs. You may be sending them a signal that you don't know. Your actually telling them something is wrong with them, as you can't be centered on them if you think what they know is "Yuck" How can you expect them to understand something different, if you, yourself can't provide them with the basics? Just my thoughts But hey.... I've had over ten Mommies, and various Girls that just wanted to be my Sitter, I must be doing something right. I am in No way GODS gift, I am 150#'s dripping wet, slim build, recently unemployed. But Was Married 1 month ago to my Wife & Mommie, she didn't have a clue before she met me what a AB was, but since has become a wonderful Mommie, Wife and Partner. And has worn Diapers on two occations to public outtings, the first being our wedding. I hope this doesn't deter you but rather to direct you. To find a problem, one should first look in the most obvious spot. Good look in the search.

Your Friend,

Lil" Timmy

[iamafemalebaby]

PAUL you are no a looser for posting your thoughts, far from it!

But the more you speak to like minded people whether in DD or Care4baby or Adultbabychat you

will get to know people and that leads to a strong friendship and then take it from there.

these messageboards are filled with people's thought and I feel it helps us to understand each other

more. No-one looses by opening their hearts and minds to others.

I wish you well in your search and it was good talking to you in chat earlier today!

Keep your chin up that elusive person will come out of the shadows when you least expect it!

Trust me!

[Paul61]

It was nice chatting with you to. Once again, I love that accent!

It must be so cool to live in a town where the Beatles are from. You're probably sick of hearing that though.

I gotta get to England one of these days. I have roots traced back to there and belive it or not I'm linked to royalty on my dad's side. But, that goes so far back it's not even worth mentioning.

I've been a lurker of online diaper and wetting sites since the days of Compuserve when it was text only. I've just never participated because I never wanted to be found out.

I guess it's time I participate huh?

PAUL you are no a looser for posting your thoughts, far from it!

But the more you speak to like minded people whether in DD or Care4baby or Adultbabychat you

will get to know people and that leads to a strong friendship and then take it from there.

these messageboards are filled with people's thought and I feel it helps us to understand each other

more. No-one looses by opening their hearts and minds to others.

I wish you well in your search and it was good talking to you in chat earlier today!

Keep your chin up that elusive person will come out of the shadows when you least expect it!

Trust me!

[trancefreek99]

It was nice chatting with you to. Once again, I love that accent!

It must be so cool to live in a town where the Beatles are from. You're probably sick of hearing that though.

I gotta get to England one of these days. I have roots traced back to there and belive it or not I'm linked to royalty on my dad's side. But, that goes so far back it's not even worth mentioning.

I've been a lurker of online diaper and wetting sites since the days of Compuserve when it was text only. I've just never participated because I never wanted to be found out.

I guess it's time I participate huh?

Ok. Paul, I have your answer.....first off, stop lookin for girls that are already ABDL's cuz most likely you will be one of 100 guys responding to their message. Your best bet is to find a girl who is NOT and ABDL, and get her to try the lifestyle. My wife, whom I met in Italy, had no idea what an ABDL was. I told her after 7 months (she was my girlfriend at the time) about my interests. Lo and behold, she now wears all the time, and enjoys it....what I am trying to say is, stop looking for self proclaimed ABDL girls, and find a normal girl who may seem open minded. That is your best bet. All of us guys would love to have an actual ABDL girl, but the fact is, your chances are very slim on meeting one in person. Find a mate that is willing to try new things, and you WILL succeed. I did, and I now have imo, a beautiful DL wife! Good luck man.

[diapereddave]

What I did and it worked for me a couple of tie, is meet someone, both of you fall in lovre with each other, more than anything else in life, and then when everything is right try to slowly work the ABDL thing in. My wife has no problems wearing diapers now, and is mildly interested. I did the same thing with a GF in the past, and she also now loves diapers. Sometimes, starting with a regular partner, and then working the ABDL in, isjust what it takes. I never would try to find a person who was already ABDL. Its almost more fun to convert one.

[frillylilly]

I spent a long time chatting with Paul the other night.

A more sound, sincere and intelligent guy you couldn't wish to come across.

If I weren't happily married, I would certainly want to get to know him an awful lot better!

If you are a DL female out there and looking for someone with whom you can share your interests - contact this guy.

He will treat you with the utmost respect and you will see that he is interested in getting to know YOU and not just what diapers you wear.

I felt very safe and relaxed talking to him and he never overstepped the mark once.

Although I have not been coming here very for very long, I have been pm'd by some right jerks. So much so, that it kinda puts you off taking the chance and talking to them.

Please guys, talk to us a little first. You wouldn't walk into a pub, see someone that takes your interest, then dive in, drooling and ask them what underwear they are wearing and what their favourite sexual position is, would you? Or maybe you would!

Same applies to chat. Get to know us gently; we like that.

For 41 years I have been the way I am but it is only recently that I found this site and felt comfortable enough to participate. There must be hundreds more just like me out there.

To Paul, I hope you find a like-minded someone deserving of the love and respect you have to offer.

To any single DL female, I would recommend that you at least chat to this lovely guy.

Frilly

[Paul61]

Thank you very much Frilly, the check is in the mail. lol!

All kidding aside and I don't mean anything disrespectful to any of the guys that have replied to my post so far but, it seems that the only people who understand what I was trying to get across in my original post ARE women and unfortunately it seems they are all married.

Why is that I wonder? It may be because married women feel safer and I totally understand that. Frillylilly and I were discussing the whole safe and secure issue and how that is important for a women. That is so feminine and sexy to me and it validates what I was trying to say about it being tough to meet a like minded single woman.

I spent a long time chatting with Paul the other night.

A more sound, sincere and intelligent guy you couldn't wish to come across.

If I weren't happily married, I would certainly want to get to know him an awful lot better!

If you are a DL female out there and looking for someone with whom you can share your interests - contact this guy.

He will treat you with the utmost respect and you will see that he is interested in getting to know YOU and not just what diapers you wear.

I felt very safe and relaxed talking to him and he never overstepped the mark once.

Although I have not been coming here very for very long, I have been pm'd by some right jerks. So much so, that it kinda puts you off taking the chance and talking to them.

Please guys, talk to us a little first. You wouldn't walk into a pub, see someone that takes your interest, then dive in, drooling and ask them what underwear they are wearing and what their favourite sexual position is, would you? Or maybe you would!

Same applies to chat. Get to know us gently; we like that.

For 41 years I have been the way I am but it is only recently that I found this site and felt comfortable enough to participate. There must be hundreds more just like me out there.

To Paul, I hope you find a like-minded someone deserving of the love and respect you have to offer.

To any single DL female, I would recommend that you at least chat to this lovely guy.

Frilly

[Topguy]

The problem is, that most of the single women here who replied to you would immediately be swarmed by the very horny net geeks we both despise Paul.

And I agree that trying to break a long term partner into this is pretty much going to be seen as a bait and switch later on. You really have to be able to lay your cards on the table,face up from the very start. Dishonesty, and hiding your needs is no way to begin a sound relationship.

Then on top of that, you have more deluded GUYS who play at being women,and lead one on...just to get some shallow kicks-since they are themselves rejected by most-and desperately seeking ANY sort of attention-from amyone who will show the smallest degree of acceptance.

I will give one word of advice,try writing some stories here and posting them. Many of the ladies who remain anonymous to avoid the hng's read them.

Put a bit of your heart and soul into it-show what you have to offer-and not just from a diaper fetish stand point.

Best wishes,TopGuy (who has had some diapered girls in the past)

[lilstevie]

Hi Paul , it`s good you`ve opened yourself up here . You never know , some special women from your area might see your post . It seems to me from what you`ve said , you dont have a problem meeting woman . I can relate to that . It`s always been easy for me also .

Just a little piece of advice for all the guys . The odds of finding "Ms Perfect " are slim . But , relationships are made up of compromises. If you are open enough in the beginning ,,, it may take some time but you will find the women that`s compatible with you and also may enjoy some of the kinks you like .

I wont go into details about my relationship but we are very happy . We did`nt meet online but did meet at a ageplay presentation put on by a bdsm group . Most bdsm folks are openminded about others kinks.

In the past before lilshy and I met , I quess I was lucky enough to meet my share of women that were excepting of my kinks and my ab/dl side .

best wishes to you and all,

lilstevie

[wetbuns]

I can empathise with you 100% Paul. It's like an uphill struggle not to become some twisted mysogenistic cynic. Maybe I go too much the other way, as in the chat room, I always try and show my humorous side. What with quite an abstract sense of humour anyway, I do sometimes wonder if I'm thought of as a jerk / non-serious type of guy or whatever.

So much of what you've said makes so much sense and I couldn't have put it any better myself, yet like you also said I have a life outside of this and I'm not going to spend all my time on this site TRYING to meet mrs right.

I've been in relationships with non-dl women, told a girl I was going with that I liked nappies, only to have it used against me, and since been single as I'm happy that way. I do feel alone sometimes, but there's a difference between being alone, and lonely (I hope!!)

Anyway, I'm not going to change or be someone else on the surface, as the right woman for me will accept who I am without wanting to change me... well, y'know, lol!!

[ILDaddyDom4ABGirl]

My two cents as to why women aren't quick to talk to guys in our community...

As best as I can tell, people who are into diapers for pleasure -- which is what this largely is about -- fall into four categories which are not mutually exclusive: fetishists, escapists, dependants, and submissives. Within this context, fetishist are those for whom diapers, either just the clothing (a Diaper Lover) or the appearance and act of being baby like, are a sexual turn on. Escapists are those for whom wearing a diaper can be a catharsis, a way of letting off steam and/or relaxing. Dependants are those who are forced, usually do to medical reasons, to rely on their diapers, yet they have come to enjoy them for whatever reason, be it comfort, feel, whatever. Submissives are those that wear as a sign of thier lace in a relationship. This last group is about as rare as they get. I know, I've looked.

It has been my experience that most girls that publically admit, be it through Myspace, Yahoo, Daily Diapers, etc., fall largely into the escapist camp. Women are not as biologically driven to have sex as men. It's a fact. Women also have to invest more in the reprecusions of sex, e.g. pregnancy. Woman thereby have different priorities then men: emotional well being, safety, security. The gathering of wealth is also a biological response that is inherant to all females of most every mammalian and aviary species. I digress. The point is that a woman's needs are not inherantly driven by the need to guarentee the continuation of one's on gene pool. For most women who are escapist, the escape is a fantasy, and they don't want anything to break that fantasy of being a baby girl. When someone else is being a baby, it makes them feel less special, thereby taking away the importantance of thier taking that role, of the security and freedom they find in it.

Our fetish can be a very dangerous combination: desire combined with (pretend) innocence. It's no wonder a lot of people are frightened of it. As loath as I am to admit it, the line between pedeophilia and infantilism is thin to most of mainstream society. Our sexual attraction is toward __other adults__ who only __act and/or dress__ like children/infants, compared to pedeophilia, which is toward children specifically.

Women, my apologies for how 1940s this next sentance will be. Being that I am not woman, I would guess that, as human females have tended for children as long as their's been a recorded history, a woman who finds sexual pleasure in acting like a baby would not be interested in a male who also is stimulated by a man who likewise enjoys being a baby because of the fear of having the maternal role forced into her deviant sexual fantasy. Note: deviant isn't bad, just abnormal by definition.

I also think that it is plausable to believe that for most fetishists, there are latent self-worth issues involving thier parents or childhood, and this is a way to tie self-worth, via pleasure, in with the earlier mentioned catharsis of escapism. This being said, there is also the small group of women who are "Mommies" and find sexual pleasure that combines with thier maternal side. I'm guessing mostly that they are the opposite of those women who enjoy being babied, but not allways. I can count on one hand how many women I know who like being mommy and baby girl, and all of them are happily married.

For those who are dependant, the simple fact that a person wears for pleasure when they _must_ wear can be a turn off. Most people who wear diapers are not, nor ever will be, infantilists, much less diaper lovers. In these cases, I'd be surprised if mentioning your fetish is thier disability doesn't get you ignored.

Last but not least are submissives. I can tell you from experience, that if Your sub likes being treated like a baby because it puts You in control, nothing shatters that like wearing diapers Yourself. The point, to them, is that diapers are a way for You to control an aspect of thier lives.

Now, there are varying degrees and combinations of all of these. To answer your question, as to why women who wear don't like guys who do for sexual reasons is probably for the same reason most straight "baby boys" want a mommy: they want to babied, not to baby others. Women aren't as sexually driven by men.

Rick from Peoria, IL

[Pipsqueak]

Excellent points, DaddyDom! And I completely agree (at least from my own personal feelings on the subject - I can't speak for the other women here) that as an AB woman, I don't want a boyfriend who is an AB. There are probably women (and men) who are able to "switch" but I'm not sure that's the majority of people. I want someone who enjoys being the caregiver and disciplinarian, not the baby. I would probably fall into the category you label as "escapist". But being an AB is so emotionally complicated that there are times that it's all about being a baby and other times that it's about naughty sex.

I would think DL's have the kind of mindset where they would enjoy having a partner who was also into diapers, and they would have a slightly easier time searching for a DL partner within the community. It's when you factor in the mommy/daddy/baby scenario that you get problems. I'm not sure if Paul told us whether he was a DL or an AB.

I honestly think that those who are looking for mommies or daddies need to look outside the circle of ab's and dl's. It's difficult, but not impossible.

[Paul61]

Hey Pip!

I am a DL but am only into wearing occasionally. I am pretty much searching for the same in a partner as I don't like it to consume me as it is a fun exciting addition to sex. In other words, if you went around all day thinking about sexual activities how could you go about daily living? I know when there are times that I indulge for a whole day I am drained but it sure was fun.

I wanted to respond to Ildaddydom4abgirl with the same info because it looked like he thought I may have been an AB.

Nope, not me. I'm a DL who leans more toward the daddy role. BUT, that daddy role is more like a partner who just wants to take care of his girl and would love to change her. I'm not into the whole baby talk thing.

Hope this helps.

Paul.

Excellent points, DaddyDom! And I completely agree (at least from my own personal feelings on the subject - I can't speak for the other women here) that as an AB woman, I don't want a boyfriend who is an AB. There are probably women (and men) who are able to "switch" but I'm not sure that's the majority of people. I want someone who enjoys being the caregiver and disciplinarian, not the baby. I would probably fall into the category you label as "escapist". But being an AB is so emotionally complicated that there are times that it's all about being a baby and other times that it's about naughty sex.

I would think DL's have the kind of mindset where they would enjoy having a partner who was also into diapers, and they would have a slightly easier time searching for a DL partner within the community. It's when you factor in the mommy/daddy/baby scenario that you get problems. I'm not sure if Paul told us whether he was a DL or an AB.

I honestly think that those who are looking for mommies or daddies need to look outside the circle of ab's and dl's. It's difficult, but not impossible.

[Guest Diaperdragon]

That's why most women are extremly careful about posting here because they do not want any perverted or horny geeks. I for one am extremly careful of posting here and responding emails here because i do no like guys swarming my emails asking for sex and changing their own diapers. That's why places like DD are predominatly male and you get a small minority of females.

Most women like me wear diapers for comfort or escape. Like, i wear diapers for comfort and convinece. I just don't like using the public rest rooms because i don't know how clean they are.

[Paul61]

Hi Diaperdragon, how are you?

I have to admit that I think when I first started hanging out here I may have tried to contact you because I was reading posts and saw that you were one of the few women here from my area. I was not suprised at all to have not received a response from you for the reasons that you mentioned. If you read my original post, your reasoning is a perfect example of what I was talking about.

I am definately not one of those guys and there are a few women that I've been chatting with in the room that could vouch for that based on a couple of long chats with me. (ie. Frillylilly's post above).

Now, if I were to just come out and ask you if you were interested in chatting in the chatroom to see for yourself would that sound like I was being a jerk or too forward? I don't know? There is such a fine line but either a chat or exchanging emails is about the only safe way I can think of to be able to read between the lines to see if someone is a down to earth normal person or not.

Am I trying to sell myself to you right now? I'll be honest.....yes. I'd love to get a private message from someone like you but only for a chat because I don't know what anyone is really like here either. Would I want it to go further then that? Of course but I wouldn't want that to happen unless we were compatible in other ways and really liked each other. (I'm just using you as an example) I also think that just like conventional dating you really can't get to know someone THAT well by a few chats or even dates but you can at least break the ice and take small steps to reach certain comfort levels if it is meant to be in the first place.

That I think is the key.

Paul.

That's why most women are extremly careful about posting here because they do not want any perverted or horny geeks. I for one am extremly careful of posting here and responding emails here because i do no like guys swarming my emails asking for sex and changing their own diapers. That's why places like DD are predominatly male and you get a small minority of females.

Most women like me wear diapers for comfort or escape. Like, i wear diapers for comfort and convinece. I just don't like using the public rest rooms because i don't know how clean they are.

[Guest Diaperdragon]

Like i said, most women who are DL's or Ab's are afraid to post here mainly because we fear of getting unwanted emails, IM's from perverted guys who only want sex or to change their diaper. Women are cautious when it comes to positng in here because we girls do not want unwanted sexual advances from peverted guys.

I think that most women view DL's and AB as something that a pedophile might do and that's why most women are not too receptive when a guy say's he's into diapers.

Paul, what u might do is bring up the diaper issue later when u and her are both ready. You shouldn't bring anything up about sexual activity and history in the begining because it's a major turn off for us girls.

That's why when i chat with guys, i keep it private because i do not want any unwanted sexual advances frm perverted guys.

[frillylilly]

I think the point is being somewhat overlooked.

Paul is looking for a like-minded soul with whom he can share his interest and have fun.

One way of finding a person like that is to make contact with people on sites like these, and lets face it, where better to start looking if you want someone who is into what you are.

He has been very honest and up front about what he is looking for and the problems he encounters in his quest.

Yes, as a female, I too have also been approached by some right plonkers!

They are easy enough to ignore.

The nice people far outnumber the jerks.

When I am chatting with someone for the first time, I seldom know whether they be male, female, straight, gay, incontinent, AB, DL, sissy, mommy or daddy,

It doesn't matter at all. What matters is whether they are nice people or not and whether they are into mutual respect.

I am DL and from my perspective, diapers serve many purposes (apart from the obvious!).

For me it is a very sexual thing as well as being a comfort in times of stress.

However, please take note offenders:

I would NOT pm someone and say, "ASL please." Or, " Are you F?"

That approach leaves me cold, so WHY DO IT?

Some of you jerks spoil it for the nice guys, making them afraid to make an approach for fear of being perceived as a pervert.

Paul is being honest about what he wants from a relationship.

He may or may not find a soulmate this way but he will make some very good friends along the way because he is a respectful and nice person.

I wish him well.

Frilly

[Guest Diaperdragon]

Yes, as a female, i too have been getting hit on by guys who only want sex or to change their Diapers.

It's the Bad ones that ruin it for the good ones like paul.

Like me, I am a DL and I wear my diapers for comfort and for out and about. My Diapers are used for going out and when i'm not around the bathroom. I don't wear diapers to get off or for any sexual reasons.

I don't like it when guys PM or IM me asking for my "ASL" or "are you F'. That's a big turn off for me and will always put those who do on my Ignore list. I don't like people doing that, so why do u guys still DO IT.

The problem with most guys here is that some, of them are really jerks and their only interested in sex and changing their Diapers. The really bad ones have sexual or personal issues that need to be seen by a shrink. Their are some guys who try to go all out to IM and PM Constantly asking for sex or a diaper change.

It dose make you wonder why their's not a lot of women into diapers and if i had to blame someone, it's the guys because their being to sexually aggressive and to sexually strong