Wtf Should I Do With My Life....!?

[Lanthey]

This question has been bothering me for the last year now. This last year has sucked. Like really bad. Anxiety, self harm, depression, being put on

[gah!ghost]

I'm afraid I cannot offer any advice. The entirety of it is outside my wheel house, but I do wish you well in whatever you do or choose and I think perhaps that is worth saying.

[Guest Sasha]

My opinion may mean little to you, but maybe my two cents can help.

[Steveorstephanie]

Hi Lanthey,

I have seen you on here for a long time and I know some of how you feel. I've been AB for so long, but never been able to come to terms with it until recently. I have an AB friend who has helped me accept what I am and helped me develop as a person. I'm 52 now, so it has been a long time coming. I'm still not happy with my life, but I'm better than I used to be.

As you can imagine, I've had a lot of life experience, and if you are ok with it, I would like to offer a bit of advice (which I think is what you are looking for)

The 1st thing I noticed is your reference to praying. I'm guessing you are religious. There's nothing wrong with that, if it makes you happy and settled, but you need to look at why you are religious. Is it because you parents/family are, and you have been brought up that way. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you just have to look at the catholic church, who make everybody feel guilty about everything, especially sexually. Some of them are not that innocent that way themselves. If you have been brought up in a religious way, then you will feel guilty about almost anything that you do/think.

We are all different, and that is a good thing. You are still young and finding your way in life. If you are gay, then you are gay, that is not a sin. The sin is that you have been made to think you have to marry a man, when that means you're living a lie. Living a life where you are not being honest with yourself, never mind others, is bad for you. you will just feel more and more guilty, and in turn, bad about yourself. You have to live your life in a way that make YOU happy. Don't worry that you think you have made bad choices, that's just life. with age comes maturity, and with maturity comes peace.

[Diapered Jason]

First thing first, hugs.

[Pudding]

One thing I have realized is these struggles and pulling within back and forth etc are Gods way of talking to us.

[Lanthey]

If 'God' is talking to you, we have a name for that - there's multiple sections of the DSM dedicated to conditions that have such symptoms.

[Bettypooh]

Short on time right now Lanthey, but till I get back here just want to say that you have a lot of options and you don't have to choose any or all of them right now. Do today what brings joy today keeping tomorrow in mind since it will be here sooner than you think

[Steveorstephanie]

Short on time right now Lanthey, but till I get back here just want to say that you have a lot of options and you don't have to choose any or all of them right now. Do today what brings joy today keeping tomorrow in mind since it will be here sooner than you think

[Lanthey]

Short on time right now Lanthey, but till I get back here just want to say that you have a lot of options and you don't have to choose any or all of them right now. Do today what brings joy today keeping tomorrow in mind since it will be here sooner than you think

[Codymoogle]

Can't give you any advice hun, I really don't know what to say...but I can offer you *BIG HUGS* and a me to listen to you if you wanna talk.

[ForbiddenFruit]

Going to have to, to an extent, parrot what others have said so far particularly about letting today be today and tomorrow be tomorrow. I'm doing a variant on that - every day I walk my dog for an hour and fifteen or so, cooking, idly browsing a bit. That's letting today be today, but atop that I'm in my head going 'okay, tomorrow, rifle through that paperwork, check your college email, proofread that draft'. Let today be today, but remember next week, if you're looking to make changes. That's how I'm answering my own 'What am I doing now?'

[Bettypooh]

Sorry for the huge delay in getting back to this Lanthey- work has killed me the last couple days What others think is there to verify our own perspective- that does not mean that they are necessarily right. So when they tell you something like "You aren't well" then you need to ponder that. Why do they see it that way? How clearly do they see me and my situation? But the most important question to ask is "How clearly do I see my own situation?" Once you decide what (not who) is right, then that is what you go with Sometimes they are right but we all make mistakes- it's part of being human. In that case apologize for any harm you may have caused, and ask them to help you do better. If they truly care about you they will gladly do that

[Dill_Pickle]

Lanthey

Just a couple of thoughts to add. First, the Episcopalians, at least the liberal ones in the US, are probably the most intellectually honest mainstream denomination. A good tasting beverage will be required equipment for arguing that it is the Unitarians, Quakers, or other denomination instead. They have all come to the conclusion that calling non-mainstream sexual desires sins leads to disaster, and to discriminate against those with them is itself a sin, especially as there is plenty of evidence that noone knows how to change sexual orientation in adults -- it seems to be set largely prenatally -- give a pregnant monkey the right hormones, and you can make gay monkeys, for example. If you ask me, denial of sex is at the core of the Roman Catholics pedophilic priest scandal. I have also been told that the periodic scandals involving big-nae preachers and their extramarital relations is very much par for the course, and that when a revival preacher comes to town, you can be well paid if you supply the right kind of willing ladies.

Second, one of the more diificult people to deal with in my family is a sister-in-law for whom all those externalities have to be "just so"...a family vacation has everyone joined at the hip doing the same thing, my mother can't just drop by, and something is desparately wrong at Christmas if presents aren't exchanged on the 25th, but on yhe 27th when everyone's schedule comes together. You, and everyone around you, will be happier if you are a bit more flexible, not requiring yourself to live the saccharine vision of 1950s "family" TV. It is also worth noying that the nuclear family is an invention of the 1950s, and that England had some pretty rough times back then...the scene from the opening of "willie Wonka and the chocolate factory" is much more historically accurate.

Enough vague philosophies...I do whatever my RICE KRISPIES tell me to do in the morning!

You have said you want to have a nice house, and dress up for church on Sunday....so move in that direction, make sure you have Sunday clothes....

I think you said you want children..my mother worked almost her entire adult life out of the house, so kids don't completely tie you to the house or flat. You can either bear children, or teach them...if you can stand the surrounding adult craziness. So move in that direction....

You like to write, and do crafts....so move in those directions, simply remember that paying bills that way is getting increasingly difficult.

Love those around you, by doing things with them you both enjoy, and take time for yourself.

Finally, if someone feels you aren't well enough to do something, time to quiz them about why...they are worried about you, and you don't need to start hurting yourself again...talk about how to avoid the negatives, what to do if things start to go awry with you. And don't forget to smile...it's contagious.

Hope this helps...let us know....