Wanting To Vs Having To

[Forced2wet]

I'm lucky enough to have the love of my life take some part in my time as a AB/DL.

But I'm always worried that whilst she will powder and change me, that deep down she does nt really like to, and only does it because I like it. I have asked her on a few occassions to gauge her feelings on joining in with the lifestyle but am always told "I don't mind, I know you like it"

It always makes me feel like I'm forcing her to take part for my sake rather than her actually enjoying that part of our life together. And I'd hate to think that I'm 'making' her do something that she does nt like. Her feelings mean a lot more to me than wearing and wetting.

For all you AB/DLs with partners who participate and maybe even members who are Mommies/Daddies, how do you ever know that you/your partner wants to join in rather than feel like they have to?

[gah!ghost]

Think of it this way. You know how it's often a lot better to give a gift than to receive one?

[Lil_Hatchling]

This requires an honest relationship with your partner. It needs to be clear from the get-go that if she (or he) does not feel comfortable with the changing, they need to voice it. As much as it is pleasant to, well, please your partner, it should never be done forcefully.

If your partner is showing interest, and you've made things clear, then trust them! Giving is wonderful, and seeing your lit up faces and your smiles makes it all worthwhile.

Now, just gotta convince someone to let me join... *Eyes him-who-knows*

[JustAWolf]

Hmm... I think your partner is just playing hard to get, Hatch. Perhaps Shy... But you should definitely just check his diapers for wetness when he's not expecting and drag him off to get changed

[Joebasic]

My fiance is neither AB or DL, and has absolutly no interest in diapers whatsoever.

What he tells me is that he enjoys participating because he sees what a charge I get out of it and that pleases and excites him.

Out of nowhere, he will appear in a diaper, and although it does nothing for him, seeing it turn me on gets him all worked up and off we go.

Pleasing each other is what its all about, in pleasing him, i get satisfaction, and it works the same for him.

[drynot]

I know my wife has no interest in diapers whatsoever. However, she has said on many occasions that she participates because I want her to and I enjoy it when she does. I do things for her that I have no interest in as well. It all tends to balance out. You could be one of those fortunate people who found someone who enjoys doing everything that their signifigant other enjoys but I know a lot of couples and I've yet to come across THAT scenario.

Bottom line....If she doesn't mind doing diaper things with you and she says so....then don't sweat it. Try to ensure that you particiapte in activities that SHE enjoys and it will all work out in the end.

[Infernus]

Yea i get this feeling quite alot, which is why i try to only do it once in a while with her

That way its not an all the time thing

[Forced2wet]

Cheers for all your input.

I think my main worry is, is that 'making' her join in when she does nt enjoy it will drive a wedge between us and eventually end the best relationship I've ever experienced.

Not something I'd want to risk

[rosalie.bent]

My husband does plenty of things for me that he does not especially like doing. I do things for him that I dont particularly like doing (nappy changes for instance). Where I come from we call it 'successful marriage'.

[turtlepins]

We have a saying on one of our walls: "When I said 'I do' I didn't mean everything!" Parts of my AB/DL lifestyle my wife loves, and other parts she just puts up with. We have a great relationship built on trust. If she tells me she doesn't like something, I don't ever ask for it again. Respect is also part of it. We learn. One thing she didn't expect was her enjoyment of absolute power over me when she decides I need to regress. Since I love that so much it works out pretty well. Often she teases me that she's going to just leave me in that state of regression and my heart goes pitter-pat!

[blu4]

@ OP I think that you may be over analyzing things a bit. If she found it totally abhorrent then she wouldn't take part in it with you so I would just go with the flow and enjoy what you have together. My husband has no interest in nappies whatsoever but he knows that I enjoy wearing them so he is happy to make me happy. Give and take is part of what makes for a good relationship and I participate in things that don't necessarily do anything for me but I want to please him so I am happy to go along with it.

Thats not to say that I don't have the same doubts as you now and again as I have a habit of over analyzing things myself but you know what, I force myself to give myself a break and be grateful for what I have and stop sweating the small stuff After all none of us now what the future has in store for us so enjoy what you have now

[Nat]

My husband is always in pain so he can't change me often. But he still will sometimes because he knows I "need it" and he loves me.

Then important thing is if they are doing it because they want to even though they don't like it or enjoy it, it's fine and nothing wrong with it. You are not forcing them into it. They are doing it because they love you and know how much it means to you. However if they are doing it all the time, you can always give them something in return. have them take a break from it every now and then or few times a week because you know how much it would mean to them.

[Forced2wet]

Thanks again for the replies, perhaps it 's just me then that's not happy that my partner does things for me that she does nt enjoy, just because I like them

Yea i get this feeling quite alot, which is why i try to only do it once in a while with her

Do you do 'it' on our own, away from your partner on occassions?

[Lil_Hatchling]

Indirectly, she's doing something she enjoys, because you enjoy it! Seeing my partner smiling and beaming means most to me, so participating in his activities, while I'm not 100 % at ease with them, just makes it all worth it.

Accept that your joy, your pleasure, is hers as well. ^^