Love ,Diapers And A Girl What To Do

[naruto4ever]

so i have this girlfriend and i didn't tell her my secret and i need to know do i tell her i love diapers or not. help me :'(

[baby-elizabeth]

which is more important?

[naruto4ever]

ok sorry but im not sure because i have tried to get rid of my diaper love but it comes back even harder so what then do you think she will understand?

[tcc]

It really is too bad you chose not to reveal BEFORE the relationship. Normally, revelation AFTER THE FACT does not go well. And, if you continue to keep silent - and not take your chances, and not risk just having to move on - especially if she is not inclined to be more than "vanilla", you really would have been better off to have risked the truth, and MAYBE finding acceptance and participation, or parting ways BEFORE more time and emotion is invested into something that won't work out, or cause real problems later on in the relationship.

AB/DL urges are incredibly strong, and seldom can be purged from an individual's psyche, even though they are pretty tame and not usually harmful - to anybody - unless they keep a person from having a considered "normal" life, for the most part, otherwise.

You made a mistake by not 'fessing up already - or getting to know the person, and figure out how to best reveal from the beginning. I would say it's better to take your lumps, learn more about yourself and what you're into, and figure out how to better handle the situation for and in the next relationship.

This comes from the experience of a DL of over 40 years...

[babylin]

so i have this girlfriend and i didn't tell her my secret and i need to know do i tell her i love diapers or not. help me :'(

I was reading another story earlier today and found this quote:

SECRETS ARE QUICKSAND FOR THE FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP

doesn't mean you cannot keep a secret

does mean you must avoid the quicksand

Happiness Is Wearing Cotton Diapers

[ABigDL]

Tell her! I regret not telling my wife every time I think or see anything diaper related, which is multiple times a day.

[Forced2wet]

I think it depends on how far down the line the relationship is.

I was married for over 20 years before I 'revealed' to my wife about my DL side. Whilst she was originally freaked she eventually joined in by powdering me and putting me in a nappy and plastic pants. She even went as fas as buying me cloth diapers as a surprise. When we split up she text me a message saying if she ever needed anyone to 'nanny' me, that she'd always be available.

With my new partner and love of my life, I told her straight away. Small steps but now once a week she'll powder and force me into a nappy and plastic pants. Hopefully one day, when we get more privacy, we'll explore it more.

In both cases, the partner I told said that they loved me so much that something as harmless as liking to wet nappies/diapers was not and would never be a problem.

Good luck

[pampers212]

It really is too bad you chose not to reveal BEFORE the relationship.

So when, on the first date? Second? Really, I think that might scare off some decent girls.

My best guess as to when to tell your SO about this would be about the same time you begin to talk about sex. You didn't specify how committed the relationship is, but you want to disclose it before any significant advances, such as moving in together, getting married, having a child together. These tend to cement the relationship more and a lot of trust is required at this level of comittment. There are many stories on this forum of women who were distraught after becoming comitted to their man only to find he was hiding this big secret. The problem wasn't really the diapers, it was the trust.

[Bettypooh]

The point where one should tell should be when you clearly see that this relationship is going to become deep and lasting for you and your partner. The risk of rejection is high, but the risk of failure if it is later discovered or exposed intentionally is far greater Yes, it is something that embarrasses most of us to some degree. Yes, it is something few others deeply understand. Yes, it is something that many will reject outright. So what would you rather do to someone you really care about- chance losing something you want now or chance hurting them very deeply later on? Would you rather build a world then lose it all or would you rather build a world that won't collapse if your secret comes out (which it usually will at some point)?

The bottom line is that none of us asked for this, and it is something we cannot change in us. It is an essential part of us and to be fair to a potential partner for life, it is something they need to know about us for them to be ale to make their own choice as to whether we are the one for them. You owe it to yourself to be honest and you owe it to them to have the chance to completely know who they are committing to. It is far better and easier to try again early than it is to lose a long investment over a mistake you knew you were making. You need that accepting partner and they need to know about it to accept it.

Now if this is still a casual relationship whether you mention it is up to you, but you're never going to find acceptance till you accept it in yourself first. In that case you might just introduce it as something interesting to 'play with in the bedroom' and see how it goes. The worst that can happen is that you'll get laughed at and you'll find out that it's time to look for someone else who will not laugh at you over this sooner instead of later. You both walk away unhurt that way, and you've never revealed the depth of your secret. You're not going to get ahead by forever hiding so you have to choose how far you want to go.

I've never had a real LTR because of the things I was hiding and now in my 50's I've lost a lifetime of opportunity for happiness. If I ever get the chance again I'll risk the loss, which will be nothing new to me, for the chance at the bliss I've missed so far. As soon as I believe I should I will reveal my soul, for it is not a bad soul, it's just the real me and there's nothing wrong with that. If the relationship dies because of that then it was never really alive in the first place and I have lost nothing

Bettypooh

[TBlazer]

You most definitely should-regardless the outcome, you wont regret it. The real questions are when are you going to tell her, and how?

[tcc]

My comment is always, "before much time and emotion is invested", a partner should be entitled to your "revelation".

The reality is that we, in the AB/DL world make way too much of our diaper "thing" - I mean, it's only diapers, a legal, legitimate product produced for a legitimate need. However, when used as a prop, as part of fetishism, for a partner that isn't into "variations", blindsiding them with diaper fetishism, out of the clear blue, AFTER a trusting relationship has been started, isn't fair, and in most cases the "worst case scenario" is going to ensue. Better to have loved and lost, and cut someone loose or be cut loose early on as opposed to have someone really pissed off because you were too afraid to reveal, and if they can't accept, that you strung them along, living a lie about yourself, keeping a secret.

If you're still so afraid, you need to get to really know the partner intimately, and what's going on in all the "nooks & crannies" of THEIR brain. If someone shows NO seeming interest in anything but a vanilla outlook, they won't be right for you. Your secret will always keep you on edge, hoping you'll never slip and reveal or be discovered, and you'll always be hiding something - something you will never be able to purge from your list of desires.

It's been tried and talked about a zillion times. Telling a partner, after the fact, and maybe it's the trust issue or it's felt you've been less than honest, usually ends up badly.

You also have to remember that diapers are YOUR thing. Even if you DO have an acceptant partner, it doesn't mean they are going to totally embrace diapers and diaper play, and join you, and especially, enjoy diaper play and take it on for themselves.

In any reveal, you have to be prepared for all different levels of acceptance, IF you even get that.

Um, 40+ years a DL. I've had a lot of chance to explore a whole lot in this regard. Good luck.

Oh, and Pampers212 has added a mouthful...

There are many stories on this forum of women who were distraught after becoming comitted to their man only to find he was hiding this big secret. The problem wasn't really the diapers, it was the trust.

[tcc]

So when, on the first date? Second? Really, I think that might scare off some decent girls.

With my first wife, I was afraid, but had very strong diaper urges, so I figured it was best to forge ahead and just blurt it out on night. I never really DID get much of a response, but it was obvious it wasn't well accepted or appreciated. It's not what SHE would have imagined to be a part of.

With my second wife, a RN, I figured I'd try the "I'm a bedwetter and need diapers..." approach. That only went so far, at first, because I knew she would then talk about my "problem" with my mother, who knew nothing of my DL side/life/world, except finding a pair of plastic pants hidden under my bed, in a box, while cleaning my room one time. Um, I've been into diapers since I was 12. And, after 15 years of marriage, my diaper thing, though it was of little problem, since my then-wife had joined me, and I had photos to prove it, chose to use my DL side against me and as an "ace card", to try and get my kids away from me and child/spousal support. I nipped that in the bud, it cost me dearly, financially, and we parted ways - and my kids were not taken away.

For my third and current wife, I made up my mind(when I started dating again, and went the route of online date sites), that if I truly had interest in a woman, before things got very sexual, before much time and emotion was invested, I would reveal my DL side/life/world to any woman I was dating, and out of fairness to HER - AND me. If she seemed to be able to handle it, as matter of fact, or show some interest in it, we'd continue on. If she couldn't deal with it - and I was able to spot the "red flags" starting to flap on the horizon; I could sense a problem looming in the future - it was time to cut my losses, be sad for however long, but move on. And, not once did my revelation come back to bite me - a woman being spiteful and trying to destroy me socially because of my DL thing - because I hadn't been untruthful, or try to hide reality, and we would part as friends or, at least, as adults, understanding it just wasn't going to work out, whether because of my DL thing or anything else.

Knowing how strong my DL side/life/world is, I went so far as to say, even with my current wife, that it HAD to be accepted, or we'd need to part. I'd been the compromise route, and that wasn't going to work. If you can't accept, we need to move along. And, for me, that was the right approach to come to, since there was no "secret", and no reason to not trust me, since I had shared something a major - for ME - as this.

The only thing I would wish for would be to have my wife embrace a DL side, and join me a lot of the time. But, I HAVE acceptance and encouragement, and way more than I expected I might have. It's still MY thing. She says "Live and let live." She also says "It's only diapers!"

Obviously, everybody has to choose their own and their own best time to reveal. But, to me, sooner, rather than later, is what it needs to be...

[diapered_jeff48801]

early on in the relationship I told her what I felt was the defining moment of my attraction to diapers while not actually mentioning the fact the I still enjoyed wearing them now, later on when she told me about her fear of bathrooms I mentioned diapers as a way to deal with the public bathrooms that she had fear of. She was very open to the idea and I first "tested" the diapers for her and later admitted to enjoying the diapers and the security and comfort they bring. She tells me I can wear whatever I want and will often wear diapers to college herself to avoid the automatic toilets. I helped her become a very open minded person over the 3 years I've known her and I realize how lucky I am that I can enjoy diapers, and I can also the fact that there I days I can see her in a diaper too.

[PamperGirlie]

You should tell her. If she's really important to you, she needs to know.

[Wooness]

so i have this girlfriend and i didn't tell her my secret and i need to know do i tell her i love diapers or not. help me :'(

It's always hard to tell someone especially a significant other, I just recently told my GF I liked to wear diapers. It was hard yes but in the end it made out relationship stronger. Try telling your girlfriend in stages, First: Tell her you have a diaper fetish, Second: Tell her that you enjoy wearing/using diapers, and Third: Tell her you want to wear around her. Telling her in stages will give her time to process each thing individually instead of getting it all at once. Try showing her this site and letting her look at the forums to help her understand. Hope this helps!

[tcc]

I had forgotten, but one other thing - and we're talking a grown, adult woman with two adult children - I alluded for a while about harboring a deep dark secret that I said I figured was going to push/chase her away, and when the time was right would tell her about. I kept the relationship slow, dating, not going for sex. She even went to the sex offender list for the area AND checked the parole listings for local felons, to see if I was on it. I painted such a dark picture that when the time was right, we took a walk in a park, and sat, and I revealed. Of course, compared to her worst suspicions - see, she too could see that this could very well be the start of a relationship with "the one" - it was, "Oh, is that all?". And, I took her down a short journey of my DL side/life/world. She still is not, after 6 years together, and 4 years of marriage, all that aroused to be a part of things, but as MY "thing", I have total freedom to do what I enjoy, since it doesn't negatively impact our relationship, otherwise. And, since she sees it pleases ME, she knows that her acceptance is also good for HER. I see that she doesn't suffer for me having a DL side/life/world.

[gah!ghost]

I totally agree with tcc.

For me personally, I know this is really easy to say as someone who neither has nor wants a relationship but to a certain extent I hold my friends to this same standard. I don't really want to be involved with anyone who wouldn't be accepting of another's totally harmless fetish. There's some grey areas for some of the more extreme potentially harmful things people like to get up to. But generally if someone would hate or even just find it gross if someone was into wearing diapers, or sitting in pies, or playing with balloons, or dressing up in any sort of odd outfit, or being tied up, or any host of the huge number of strange and interesting fetishes out there, I don't think I would want to be their friend let alone date them.

So to me, if the relationship falls apart after such a reveal, it's probably not a relationship you should be in. Everyone is different though and I am certainly no relationship sage as said.

[naruto4ever]

thx for all the post it really helps