Well I'M Finally Going To Do It!

[SomeThing]

I don't know if I could live with a partner who wouldn't be willing to 'participate' at least to some degree with me. The whole point of a relationship is intimacy, and yet she's denying you that opportunity.

It depends on what you're into, of course. If diapers is just some 'kink on the side' that enhances sexual experience (as opposed to being a prequisite or total dependence) then maybe if you stick with her in the long run you'll lose the fetish (arguably a good thing).

You don't describe yourself as an AB or really having those tendencies, so that's certainly less work cut out for you if you would like to involve her somehow.

Next time you raise this is conversation with her, start off by pointing out that it could be worse: you could have a burning desire for a Cleveland steamer on your (or her) chest. That'll put things into perspective.

[dl_ashlee]

I see this putting a damper on your relationship, I mean she doesn't want to really know that you are wearing them. That shows she doesn't really accept you wearing them. Most long marriages I know of always say there just are some things that you keep to yourself. My professor today said that he knows that his wife is right 95% of the time and the 5% that she is not right, he does not argue about.

I would say that the relationship would be much better if she was alright with you wearing as long as she didn't have to participate. Maybe not wear to bed, but at least wear under clothes when you feel the need. I mean if she doesn't want to see it are you going to have to sneak them to the garbage? Only wear when she isn't around and hope she doesn't show up with you wearing one?

[curiositykilledthecat]

Honesty is best policy, better late than never but better too early than too late.

[Criss]

Looks like you lucked out there. I suppose a lot of people don"t get this hobbie or lifestyle.

[Guest Saturnine]

Most relationships fail because of our diapers. And since diapers are inanimate objects that can't love us back and are only temporary items that once used, we throw away, the clear cut winner shold be the woman, not the diaper. If diapers are an issue, toss em out and be a good husband or boyfriend. It's totally not worth it to destroy a good relationship with a women just so you can have a padded bottom at night. But if diapers are that important to fail a human to human relationship then go for it.

I would not even contemplate possibly failing a relationship with a good woman just to stay in diapers. The fact you contemplate you may lose her signifies you may not fully love her.

I'm not dr phil though, so don't take my word.

[Darkfinn]

I wouldn't consider you lucky. The "I'm OK with it but I don't want to see it." means she really isn't OK with it and is trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away.

If she was really accepting she wouldn't have a problem with you wearing them around the house or etc.

[SomeThing]

Most relationships fail because of our diapers. And since diapers are inanimate objects that can't love us back and are only temporary items that once used, we throw away, the clear cut winner shold be the woman, not the diaper. If diapers are an issue, toss em out and be a good husband or boyfriend. It's totally not worth it to destroy a good relationship with a women just so you can have a padded bottom at night. But if diapers are that important to fail a human to human relationship then go for it.

That depends on the person. I wonder how many of us (such as myself) are seemingly stuck with a sexuality they're not comfortable with and would rather be without. I know acting on it is purely a choice, but a very difficult one at times. I'd like to know more about the OP.

[AutieAB]

I wouldn't consider you lucky. The "I'm OK with it but I don't want to see it." means she really isn't OK with it and is trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away.

If she was really accepting she wouldn't have a problem with you wearing them around the house or etc.

I'm inclined to agree. I'm sure we've all heard "that's fine" from partners enough times before to know that it quite often means "no, that's NOT fine!"

I'm curious whether the OP who's name I can't spell thinks he's in a better position now than before? Assuming those sample packs you mentioned are still lurking around somewhere, what's going to happen when she finds them? What about if she finds a used on in the trash or worse, comes home unexpectedly early and finds you in one? Methinks that's going to be the moment you find out whether she's really OK with it or not...

Good luck & don't go thinking you're out of the woods just yet - you still need to be very calm and considered about how you proceed from here.

[Guest Saturnine]

As much as some may not wanna admit it, those people with sexuality and or gender conflicts have a much more deepseeded and intense problem than those who like to wear diapers.

An individual basing the future of a relationship on the outcome of either coming out gay or admit a transgenderism conflict have a REAL problem, versus someone who does the same thing for diapers.

A person can choose not to wear a damned diaper.

A person CANNOT rightfully be happy being a closeted homosexual.

These are two different extremes, really. The former is more or less a selfish action, the latter being a real conflict.

[Toddler Pampers]

The beginning of the end. You think she's 'good' with it. No, she's not. I would have advised you to keep your secret. A diaper fetish itself isn't a deal breaker, but not telling your wife before you marry her certainly is. People hate feeling deceived, even if it's over just a little thing, like a scratch in a table. The problem isn't the scratch, it's that you weren't forthcoming.

[tiggeroo]

Hope everything works out for ya. I`ve been with my wife for 20 years and she knows about my pee/diaper

fetish/lifestyle. She accepts that this is me but does not participate. As long as you dont get too

carried away and stay open to her questioning it just may work out fine. Island folk are a

"different breed" so to speak and life can be different from "mainlanders"!

Good luck and happy diapering from another coastal Mainuh

Tiggeroo

[Bettypooh]

It's kind of a outta sight outta mind thing I guess. I answered all of her questions(there were quite a few) and she made it clear she doesn't want to participate, which is fine with me. I think she'll be ok with it she was kinda chuckling the whole time she was asking questions and not pissed off. And I did explain to her why I didn't tell her sooner. But time will tell I guess.

It might work out- I hope it does But I'd also make it a point to not push the issue on her in any way at first. If you know she's going to see you undress or touch you there have the diaper gone already If you see that coming just say "excuse me for a momnent" and get out of the diaper discreetly. And do absolutely nothing which has any chance of embarrassing her- that will kill the relationship and/or acceptance on the spot Choose good times to wear and make sure you put the used diapers in a sealed bag then in something else which conceals them before trashing them I'm not saying keep them away from her completely, just show a lot of respect for her decision. If she happens to pat you on the butt and finds you're diapered now and then that's her problem- she can choose to either accept that or quit patting you on the butt. If you have a discreet stash in a personal space and she discovers it then she needs to stop looking there. It's not your fault if she does something unexpected or something she didn't need to do. If a discussion ensues that's just how I'd put things to her Don't diaper frequently till she gets more used to it If you go slowly she may come to accept it more but if you push too hard she will push you back- it's human nature to do that. If she's going to come around to being OK with this you'll see that. If you see the opposite I'd be planning on breaking up If there are no changes after she's discovered you're diapered several times I'd look for the vital signs if the relationship in other areas. Maybe she is handling all she can already.

Not all guys and girls work the same, but generally a guy thinks about something, makes a decision based on logic fairly quickly, then stays with that decision using the already-thought-out logic to justify his stand A girl in the other hand doesn't want to have to make a final decision right away. She wants to try it on and see how it feels and see how others she respects feel about her decisions before deciding. She wants to be able to change her mind in case she's decided wrong Once she's made a firm decision it won't change- ever- and that's why you must go so carefully here Let her see how happy she has made you by not kicking you to the curb right away over this. Do special things for her and if she asks you not to wear diapers at certain times do that for her But remind her that she's going to have to give you some time in diapers somewhere else to make up for that- a relationship is a compromise. It may end up that she wants nothing to do with you diapered but lets you wear when she's not around. Maybe you can live with that, maybe not- only you alone know that answer. What happens next may be largely based on you so don't screw it up

I wouldn't consider you lucky. The "I'm OK with it but I don't want to see it." means she really isn't OK with it and is trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away.

If she was really accepting she wouldn't have a problem with you wearing them around the house or etc.

To you and the other nay-sayers I say Unless something is very deeply seated in a woman's heart it can change and she can learn to adapt the same as you. You're trying to push the rules of life for Mars on someone who is from Venus and you don't understand why it doesn't work Just because she doesn't accept it fully right away means little. In fact, that she has opened to it at least some shows that there is hope for more acceptance! You are entitled to your opinion and to post it but I would have hoped that everyone here would have been more supportive instead of just saying that it's not going to work because of a rocky start. It's worth a try whether the nay-sayers believe it or not because if you don't try you have already failed before you started. And you can't know for certain until you try so go for it- often the best rewards come only with effort and when you're talking about a possible soulmate any amount of effort is worth it!

Bettypooh

[Bettypooh]

As much as some may not wanna admit it, those people with sexuality and or gender conflicts have a much more deepseeded and intense problem than those who like to wear diapers.

An individual basing the future of a relationship on the outcome of either coming out gay or admit a transgenderism conflict have a REAL problem, versus someone who does the same thing for diapers.

A person can choose not to wear a damned diaper.

A person CANNOT rightfully be happy being a closeted homosexual.

These are two different extremes, really. The former is more or less a selfish action, the latter being a real conflict.

I'm going to address you directly here because you're wrong Had you bothered to actually read what many others have posted on these forums you would know that for many of us diapering is not a choice at all Even if my leaky bladder suddenly started working properly I cannot stay away from diapering. Call it an obsession or compulsion or whatever, the fact is that if I can diaper I will, and I will go to extremes to be able to do it often enough to retain my sanity This may be different for you but you are one among many who are much different than you seem to be. How you are doesn't mean that everyone is that way. What you think doesn't give your thoughts any validity to anyone else- especially when so many disagree with you on this point. If you open your heart and mind to others you'll begin to see that your own acceptance is largely based on your acceptance of others who are not like you Whether it's sexuality or gender or diapers, some things are built into you and you cannot change them- all you can do is learn how to live with them. Sure, you can stop doing what you need to and stop being yourself but that's surviving, not living, and enough of that will kill your spirit or drive you nuts As so many others here have said this doesn't go away no matter what you try to do to end it. If you can stop diapering then fine- but you're a rare exception because most of us cannot stop and we know it. More importantly we admit that to ourselves so we can find a way to keep on going in life, living with a hope for happiness instead of just surviving with no hope for happiness.

Diapers are a part of me and my life now and even if I could change that I no longer want to try. I have discovered something very special to me and I'm not giving it up for anyone

Bettypooh

[Three Rivers]

Glad to hear things worked out for you. Communication is the key, having been married for 31 years; I generally don't keep secrets from my wife. I wish you the very best.

[Guest Saturnine]

Three RiversCuomo:

I guess I shoule be clearer. When I said people choose to be diapered, I obviously am referring to those who have zero bladder problems, and zero bowel problems. People that have compete control of it all, still wear diaers and use them for fun, sexual excitement, and fetish.

People who have problems have to wear diapers. Two different things. I was referring to those who diaper and use for fun.

And anyway, people who diaper because of bowel problems STILL are different from those who have genuine sexuality and gender issues. Sexuality and gender are self identifiers. They are basic things that go on in the brain, and are things deeply bred in our psychological basic functions.

Incontinent people have a PHYSICAL problem.

Sexuality and gender is a PSYCHOLOGICAL problem.

Still two different extremes, sugar buns.

[sarah_ab]

sex is biological, sexuality is biological

gender and gender identity are psychological.

[dl_ashlee]

I think for most of us it is a psychological need. So for most of us we probably will never truly give up our diaper wearing ways. It probably can be called an addiction, it doesn't hurt us physically like most addictions, but it does psychologically. So I would put it in the same realm of Multiple personalities, if any of you watch United States of Tara, no matter the drugs she takes and such, she never can rid herself of her triggers that put her into other personalities. So you really need someone who can deal with your psychological need, which many just are not prepared to do. So if after couple therapy she just can't deal, it is probably time to split as neither of you will be happy.

It is not like you are physically hurting yourself or others, so I think a good therapist would see this is a psychological need and maybe you can help the therapist understand that is what it is, but since you are not hurting anyone physically it should be something they should help you to keep under control. Another example would be the guy on the show Monk, he isn't hurting anyone physically, but not everyone can deal with his OCD, so that is why it really is best to tell someone early, then they can decide if they are able to handle your psychological need.

[Guitarzan]

I can't get on board with those who say it's over. I honestly think if the rest of the relationship is good, and they've been happy with most other aspects, she'll eventually come around to being ok with it. She may not totally get into it, but at some point may play along once in a while as long as it's not a forced thing.

It amazes me when these threads show up how many people are willing to tell someone their desire to wear should be put aside and forgotten about, that you should just stop. Also, the "your marriage is over" stuff is wrong too. We don't know that. Once she calms down she may very well play along. She may see how excited he gets and get way into it. There's been a few times in my marriage I thought my wife would be totally against something and she surprised my by giving whatever it was a try.

[AndB]

Update: Well I'm still alive. She actually reacted like I thought she would . She laughed at first and said your weird. She said to each his own, and whatever makes you happy. But(there's always a but isn't there) she doesn't want to see it or participate.

This is probably about as good as you could have hoped for (realistically). So I'm happy for you.

[AndB]

I can't get on board with those who say it's over. I honestly think if the rest of the relationship is good, and they've been happy with most other aspects, she'll eventually come around to being ok with it. She may not totally get into it, but at some point may play along once in a while as long as it's not a forced thing.

It amazes me when these threads show up how many people are willing to tell someone their desire to wear should be put aside and forgotten about, that you should just stop. Also, the "your marriage is over" stuff is wrong too. We don't know that. Once she calms down she may very well play along. She may see how excited he gets and get way into it. There's been a few times in my marriage I thought my wife would be totally against something and she surprised my by giving whatever it was a try.

I would say I also disagree that it's over. That's my wife's official position...except that I am a little incontinent, so she has to deal with it a little bit.

It will depend on how much she's OK with seeing or being aware of it. There's not much chance that you'll be able to go on long term without her seeing anything. She will see something, and will be aware that it is going on. If she's okay with knowing it, seeing or hearing or even smelling something, it'll be fine. Just make the effort to conceal anyway, out of respect.

It's amazing what some people will accept. I have a friend who's been married for something like 15 years, and he doesn't even sleep in the same bed with his wife (apparently he snores loudly). To me, it'd be a deal breaker. To them it's fine. I'd call it a successful marriage.

[Guest Saturnine]

I would say I also disagree that it's over. That's my wife's official position...except that I am a little incontinent, so she has to deal with it a little bit.

It will depend on how much she's OK with seeing or being aware of it. There's not much chance that you'll be able to go on long term without her seeing anything. She will see something, and will be aware that it is going on. If she's okay with knowing it, seeing or hearing or even smelling something, it'll be fine. Just make the effort to conceal anyway, out of respect.

It's amazing what some people will accept. I have a friend who's been married for something like 15 years, and he doesn't even sleep in the same bed with his wife (apparently he snores loudly). To me, it'd be a deal breaker. To them it's fine. I'd call it a successful marriage.

Hmm. Snoring and diaper peeing are two totally different things. And it's not fair to mask the fetish with the defense of "I'm a little incontinent". A little? What's a little incontinent? If you lack control, you lack control. Continence is not something that triggers on and off at will.

[SomeThing]

...the defense of "I'm a little incontinent". A little? What's a little incontinent? If you lack control, you lack control. Continence is not something that triggers on and off at will.

There's a difference between occasionally bedwetting and a complete lack of control over both your bowels and bladder, yet both require diapers; or people with bad cases of epilepsy or some other kind of muscle spasm where they're otherwise in total control. Things aren't as simple as you make them out to be.

[dressupDV]

Wow! Congrats! I'm in the same boat, but I am in no way ready to do something like this...

[Diapers4Me]

Hope this works out, please keep us posted.

[drnkrdnck]

I will post if anything good or bad (diaper wise) happens. There hasn't been any further discussion about me liking diapers but there have been far more important things going on than the type of underwear I like.